


High School Musical

by PressPack



Series: High School Musical [1]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Co-workers, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Homophobic Language, Teachers AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:28:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 322,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22684735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PressPack/pseuds/PressPack
Summary: “Tobin Heath. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She greets, before turning to Christen to shake her hand too.“Christen Press, Leader of the Physical Education department.” Christen replies, locking eyes with the woman in front of her, feeling something twist deep in her stomach.She shrugs it off as the four cups of coffee and unhealthy lunch she had earlier today.
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Series: High School Musical [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1756111
Comments: 340
Kudos: 660





	1. All I Want

**Author's Note:**

> Are my expectations far too high?  
> Try my best, but what can I say?  
> All I have is myself at the end of the day.

What do you do if nothing ever seems to go right in your life? When you seem to be stuck in the same cycle every single day of your life and never get out of the same old town?

Those are the questions running through Christen’s mind at half-past seven on a Friday night.

She’s still sitting in her office at work, of course she is. 

Christen is sitting there, planning her lessons for next week and marking work from the biology class she’s been covering since their teacher decided to move halfway across the state for a better job. 

She can’t blame the woman for wanting to leave. 

Heck, Christen would love to just quit and walk out of this school. 

But she loves her job, she truly does. She loves working with teenagers, even if they can be the crabbiest humans alive, and she loves getting to teach PE. 

Even with a constantly moody boss, who can’t do his job right half of the time.

She didn’t really think about her answer when she was asked to teach the biology class by their principal. Christen is a PE teacher and a Stanford graduate after all, so why shouldn’t she have the ability to teach biology to a bunch of fourteen year old students?

I mean, what else did she have to occupy her free time with? 

Eating too much takeaway as she’s too tired to cook? Binge watching new and cringeworthy television shows? 

There’s a new biology teacher coming within the next three months anyway, so she figured that she can just cover the basics of the subject and leave the rest of the work to someone that specializes in the subject. 

Sitting her right now, staring at the empty wall, she realizes that she’s not only exhausted, but also breaking a promise with herself.

When she first started teaching at Palos Verdes High School, she made a rule for herself. 

That rule was to always leave the office before six - especially on a Friday.

Somehow, she’s always managed to stick to that rule. At least up to today. Today, she’d just found that time was running ahead of her. 

Christen cracks her neck, clicking her pen and trying her best to finish marking this worksheet on her way too small desk. 

By the fourth glance at the clock within less than ten minutes, she decides that it’s time to pack up and head home. 

She can just finish the rest of her work over the weekend. 

Christen locks up the office. The once again, way too small office. It baffles her everytime she looks at it, how the principal thought he could fit four people into an office that was clearly made for a single person, but they make it work. 

They try to. 

She makes her way out of the doors and towards her new Audi Q3 - one she’s been saving up for for as long as she could remember. It’s her pride and joy, maybe because there’s not much else going on in her life at the moment, but still. 

As she approaches it, she can’t help but notice how dirty it is from the unusual amounts of rain there’s recently been. Apparently even Los Angeles is fed up.

Maybe that’s something she can occupy herself with over the weekend.

The only person she ever spends her time with is her family or Kelley, her best friend since freshman year in college. 

Kelley is in Washington for the next ten days though, visiting her girlfriend. 

She was the only friend Christen had left of her high school and college years. 

Fran and Nima, her best friends since kindergarten, had stuck with her through everything. Even after her and Nima had dated for a year in high school, just to find out that they were way better off as friends. 

Lana, Christen’s childhood best friend who she met at the Youth National Team camps. They’d clicked right away and shared endless laughs together. They still managed to keep their friendship up in college, seeing each other whenever Stanford played West Virginia. 

She had her college team too, who meant everything to her and were like siblings to her. 

Throughout all of this though, the one thing she knew she’d always have is soccer.

It had been Christen’s childhood dream to become a professional soccer player. All the way through the years, it’s what she wanted. 

She still wanted it when she was twenty-one and received her first call up for the full National Team. She still wanted it when she received two contract offers from teams in Sweden, despite wanting to enter the NWSL draft. 

Everything went downhill from there though. 

After being on a high through her whole collegiate career and breaking records, an unexpected ankle injury took the sport away from her. It took her away from the pitch and into the hospital for surgery. 

As much as she tried to deny it at the time, she knew what the doctors were telling her was right.

She knew that after the long recovery it would take for her to even step onto the pitch again, there was no guarantee of a full recovery. 

In fact, the doctors could almost guarantee her that within less than a year she’d be back in hospital for another surgery. 

Her ankle simply wouldn’t be able to take the amount of training and hard work it takes to play at a professional level. 

It was never going to work, and as much as Christen is a person made of determination and hard work, she knew that too. 

That’s how the sport she’s sacrificed everything for left her life. 

When she stopped and looked around at that stage, her life still seemed perfectly okay. She had Kelley and she had her boyfriend, Michael. She still spoke to Lana every now and then, but she didn’t realize that she no longer had Nima and Fran.

They both reached out to her following her injury, but those messages were left unanswered. 

It wasn’t until after Michael - until after she lost the person she thought she loved - that she realized he never loved her. At that stage, the only person left in her life were her family and Kelley. 

Kelley was the one person that never left her side, no matter how hard Michael tried to push them in opposite directions. 

She was so blind and in love, that she missed all the warnings and signs. 

Christen missed the fact that throughout the two years of them being together and then moving in together, she was being manipulated and emotionally abused to no end. 

Her family had warned her, Kelley had told her endless times, but Christen never listened. Her Michael,  _ her boyfriend,  _ would never do something like that to her. 

It turned out she was wrong. 

When that wall came crashing down, Kelley was there to help her get back onto her feet. 

Kelley stuck by her through it all, even if she lost way too many friendships throughout her relationship. 

If she could fix them, she would. She’d fix them all. And maybe, one day, she will. 

Now though, Kelley is a maths teacher at Mira Costa High School. Her crazy best friend, who shows up at her house unannounced, who drags Christen out to go surfing, who teases her to no end, and who gets drunk way too often, somehow became a maths teacher. 

\-------

As Christen pulls out of the staff parking lot, the ringing noise from her phone takes over the quiet radio that is playing in the background. 

**Incoming call :** Mom

Christen loves spending time with her parents and speaking to her Mom. She’s always had a close relationship with both of them, and she’s the first person to know about anything and everything in Christen’s life. 

She accepts the call with a smile on her face. 

“Hey, Mom!” Christen answers in the most enthusiastic voice she can master, feeling tired and ready for sleep. 

“Hey, sweetheart! How are you?” Her mom’s sweet voice rings through the speakers. 

“I’m tired, but good.” Christen responds, “How are you and dad?” 

“We’re okay. Long day at work?” Her mom questions, already assuming that she’s correct. 

“Yeah, I’m actually just on the way home now.” 

“Chrissy, you need to start working less! I know me and your dad tell you this all of the time, but we’re so worried that you’re going to burn yourself out.” 

“I know, mom, I know. But with our staff numbers being down at the minute, they need me to teach extra classes and I’m still trying to eventually get promoted to the head of the Physical Education department, so I have to have my full focus on work for now. I promise i”ll take some time off over the weekend though, okay?”

“Speaking of the weekend, I actually called to see if you have any plans tomorrow night. It feels like way too long since the last time we saw you in person, even if it was only last week,  so what about I make your favorite home-made lasagne and we can catch up?”

“That sounds great Mom, thank you. I’ll come for five if that works for you?”

“That’s perfect. See you tomorrow Chrissy, love you.”

“See you tomorrow, Mom. I love you too.”

She sighs happily as she pulls into the driveway of her small two-bedroom house. She’s definitely more than ready to make herself something quick to eat, throw on her pyjamas and find a new Netflix show to watch.

\-------

Dinner the next day goes as smoothly as ever. 

She loves seeing her parents and getting to spend as much time with them as possible. 

Her mom is as supportive of her job as ever, and completely understands when she has less time to speak to her parents throughout the week - even if she still thinks that Christen works too much. 

Her dad is the same joker he always is, still insisting of everyone having to call him  _ Big Daddy  _ instead of dad. 

Christen and her two sisters usually just shrug and laugh it off, loving his attempts in trying to encourage them every time they see each other. 

Apart from her mom, once again, questioning if Christen is dating anyone yet, she really enjoyed her night and already made plans with her parents again for the following Saturday. 

Christen’s just crossing her fingers already that her mom doesn’t bring up her next-door neighbour’s son once again. 

Everytime she sees her mom, she gets told about her charming and handsome son, who would be Christen’s perfect match.

That was her thought as she crawls under a blanket on her sofa, ready to shut the rest of the world out for a few hours. 

She grabs her favorite tub of Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream, switching on the latest episode of Stranger Things. 

As she’s sitting there, cold and alone, she can’t help but replay the words that her mom said to her earlier. 

_ I’m not trying to force you into a relationship you don’t want - you know that I would never do that - but do you never think it might be time to start dating again? It’s been nearly three years and it would be nice to have some grandchildren at some point. _

She knows that her Mom was joking with the last point and that it was only meant light-heartedly, but it still got to her.

Christen doesn’t date. 

She hasn’t since her and Michael broke up. His reasoning for ending everything they worked for in those two years together was that he never loved and was still in love with his ex-girlfriend all along. 

That day was when she realized how much damage he’s caused in her life and how many broken pieces she has to pick up.

Kelley had convinced her to go to a couple of bars on nights out and chat up a guy or two to try and forget about the pain. 

It didn’t work though.

She was too scared to get hurt again and eventually convinced herself that she would never risk putting herself out there for someone again. She convinced herself that no one would ever love her the way a boyfriend should and that she wouldn’t find anyone who is right for her. 

Maybe she really is destined to be alone?

On nights like tonight though, she can’t help but wish that she has someone there with her - to cuddle her and keep her warm whilst they watch a Netflix show or movie together. 

Or maybe they wouldn’t watch anything at all, as they'd get too caught up with each other and eventually end up making out in bed with Netflix long forgotten. 

Just as quickly as those thoughts occupy her mind, she pushes them away again. 

She doesn’t need anyone in her life. She is happy the way it is and nothing in her life has to change, even if the one thing she’s sometimes asking for is a fresh start.

One that doesn’t involve Palos Verdes, her headache of a boss and her role at work constantly being passed off as unnecessary and unimportant. Instead, she wants one where she’s able to be happy, whilst still being successful and appreciated in her role. 

That’s unrealistic though, and she knows that too.

\-------

**Two months later**

Her chance for a fresh start comes sooner than she expects. 

If Christen is being honest, she hasn’t been expecting it at all. 

A call comes through during her lunch break at work. A call from Mira Costa High School. 

“Good morning! Is this miss Press?” Rings through the receiving end of the line. 

The person on the other end of the call, Kristie Mewis, explains that they’ve recently invested thirty-eight million dollars on an athletic complex in Manhattan Beach. They’re also looking into improving their quality of PE teaching, after two of their staff members have recently left their jobs. The head of the Physical Education department left for her retirement, and the other teacher left to be closer to his family. 

Throughout the twenty-minute phone call, Kristie explains that Christen has been recommended to her as a possible candidate for the role of  _ Head of the Physical Education department,  _ by not only those two staff members, but also Kelley, the deputy principal and one of the education workers for the government of California. 

It didn’t take her much research or many discussions to decide that she was willing to directly offer Christen the job and only open up applications for the role, if Christen were to turn it down. 

On that thought, Kristie left her with the opportunity to accept or turn down the job within the next fourteen days. 

It doesn’t take her long to decide though, that she’d be stupid not to take this job. 

It’s the opportunity that Christen has wanted for a long time now. Her wage would be better and she’ll have that fresh start she’s been seeking out for. 

Not to forget that Kelley also works at this high school, giving her any insight information and reassuring her that she will fit in perfectly with the rest of the staff. 

She calls Kristie back before the end of the week, accepting the job, with a guarantee of her role starting as soon as her resignation at Palos Verdes High School was up.

\-------

“Kelley, how much money do you think I have? There is literally no way in the world that I can afford a Manhattan Beach condo!” Christen looks at her best friend with shock. 

“Well, it was worth a try, Chris.” Kelly half whines, shrugging her shoulders. 

  
  


“I agreed to let you help me, thinking you would actually be helpful.” Christen teases her friend. 

Kelley’s jaw drops. “If I recall correctly,  _ you  _ were the one begging me to help you!” 

House hunting was definitely something that should excite Christen and it does excite her. But that only lasted up to her viewing the fifth house, when they were all way too expensive, way too small, or in a neighbourhood that reminds her way too much of a horror movie.

Eventually, after much begging - definitely from her friend’s side and not her - she accepted Kelley’s willingness to help. 

It could only make her life easier at the end of the day.

Really, she doesn’t have to move. Christen’s new school is just under thirty minutes away from her old school, making it about fifty minutes from her old house. 

But she knows that she wants something new. Something that will give her a clear change and something that is outside of her childhood neighbourhood.

It’ll also make it easier for her, because she knows that she will eventually get fed up of having to drive almost an hour to and from work every day. Especially, when she could be living in a new neighbourhood that’s relatively close to work and still live close to the beach.

Eventually, she found herself the perfect house. 

It’s bigger than she’d been planning on buying, but she couldn’t pass up the opportunity of living there. 

It’s a cheaper house, which needs a lot of love and work putting into it, but Christen knows she has the right people in her life to help with that. It’s also right by the beach - only a block away - with an amazing view onto Manhattan Beach from the balcony doors of her bedroom. 

When the day of her moving comes, she knows that she’s going to love it even more. 

\-------

“Oh my gosh, who knew that you had this much stuff!” Echoed from the room next to Christen.

Christen chuckles to herself. “Half of it is probably your fault. I swear everytime we go shopping you get me to buy new and clearly unnecessary things for my house.”

“We both know there’s not much encouragement needed for you to buy pretty much anything.” Channing states, as she approaches Christen to help her with a few more boxes.

“It would have been so much easier to just hire someone to help with these boxes, you know.” She continues after a short pause.

“I really don’t see the point in having to hire someone when I have two perfectly capable sisters to hire for free.” Christen smirks, earning a light smack on the shoulder from her younger sister.

“Ouch!” She whines.

“Oh please, stop being such a baby, Chris.” Channing just rolls her eyes, “You can’t convince me that hurt.” 

“Whatever.” Christen murmurs, before getting back to her original task. 

Both her sisters had volunteered to help Christen unpack for the day and by the time they were all hungry, Tyler had been sent out by Christen and Channing to get some takeaway.

“Guess who is here to see their favorite daughter!” A familiar voice calls through the mostly empty hallway. 

Her dad appears at the doorframe of Christen’s bedroom, giving her and Channing a smirk. “Oh, hey, Chris! It’s great to see you too.” 

“Hey mom, hey dad. I’m glad to see you too.” She laughs at her dad’s antics. 

Her dad has always had an amazing sense of humour. It matched his kind and loving manner perfectly, and he could win over just about anyone. 

The family stop for a quick coffee break, so Christen takes the opportunity to show her parents around the house, which they immediately fall in love with - reminding her once again how alike she and her parents are.

Tyler makes it back with their pizza by the time they had emptied almost all of Christen’s moving boxes. After dinner, they were quick to get to work again aiming to finish most of the interior within the day.

By the time her family left that night, Christen was more than ready to go to bed. She couldn’t help but smile as she drifted off to sleep. She thought of the moment when she was standing in front of the house earlier, holding the keys tight in her hands, looking up at the building with a bright smile forming on her face. 

This is her chance. A chance for something new and to build a life that is different from her old one.

This might be the happiest she’s been in months or even years.


	2. Start Of Something New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never believed in what I couldn't see,  
> I never opened my heart to all the possibilities.

“Morning, Pressi!” A voice calls out as soon as Christen enters the staff room. 

“Hey Kel.” She murmurs in a tired voice, dropping her bad and heading straight for the coffee machine that is standing on the counter top. 

Alex, Julie and Morgan all chuckle at Christen’s typical coffeeless-morning response.

“Cheer up Chris.” Morgan teases, knowing Christen isn’t the biggest fan of Mondays. “It’s half-past six on a Monday morning.” 

Christen just rolls her eyes, sending Morgan a brief smile. 

It isn’t even that Christen hates Mondays, she just hates the coffee machine she has at home, which decided to break on the businest morning of her month. 

Not only is she teaching four out of six classes today, but she also has two meetings, meaning she’s going to be missing lunch time and the chance to consume any food. 

“Did you see that we have two meetings today, Chris?” Alex questions, looking over to her friend.

Alex is one of the PE teachers who Christen works with at her new school. It’s now been just over four months since she started working at Mira Costa High School and summer break is fast approaching, with only three more weeks to go.

She loves teaching at her new school. 

She loves it more than she could have ever expected or imagined.    
  


As well as getting along seamlessly with every single student she teaches, due to her funny, caring and outgoing personality, she also quickly became friends with other staff members.

This doesn’t just include the main teachers she works with - Alex, Julie and Jude, in the PE department - but also all of the teachers from other departments.

Even though the number of staff members working here were more than double the amount from her old school, they are all a lot closer here. 

It didn’t take her long to receive an invite to her first weekly Happy Hour, where the majority of the staff go down to the local restaurant and bar for a couple of hours.

In fact, Kelley invited her before she even started the job. 

“Please tell me that you guys are in this meeting too.” She raises an eyebrow in Alex and Julie’s direction. 

“I sure am, Chris.” Julie chips in with a nod.

“Oh, thank god. I won’t have to suffer through that alone now.” Christen replies light-heartedly. “I mean, two meetings in a row on a Monday? Who’s idea was that?” 

They all know that Christen doesn’t actually mind attending meetings, but she’d much rather be outside teaching a bunch of teenagers how to pass a soccer ball or in the sport hall to teach them how to dribble a basketball.

\-------

“Julie Ertz, you are a lifesaver!” Christen beams at Julie as she passes her a to-go coffee cup from the staff room. 

Half-past eleven had approached quickly, and the duo were making their way towards the conference room near the principal’s office now. 

“I know right! What would you do without me?” Julie smirks at her friend.

Christen pushes the glass door open, turning around and throwing a wink in Julie’s direction. “Trust me, so much!”

Julie simply chuckles, shaking her head before entering the room herself. 

Alex enters the room as they’re sitting down on the table, notebooks out in front of them. 

“Do either of you actually know what this meeting is about?” Alex wonders. 

Julie just shrugs as Christen goes to answer Alex. “I haven’t heard anything apart from a rumour about a new teacher coming in soon.” 

Kristie Mewis, the school’s principal, pushes the door to the conference room open at that moment. She gives the trio a kind smile as she sits down with them. 

Kristie is one of those bosses that always seems to do the right thing and Christen has quickly grown to like her. 

The two of them became friends within two weeks of Christen working at the school, when they found themselves meeting together for coffee to discuss ways to improve the school and its curriculums. 

One conversation led to the next, and before they knew it, they were talking about something completely different and noticing how much they have in common. 

Shortly after, Christen was also introduced to Kristie’s girlfriend, Rachel. She now spends time with both of them every now and then. 

On the professional side, Kristie is one of those people who consider and value everyone’s opinions. She never downgrades her role and always makes sure that everyone knows who’s in charge, but she also never oversteps too far into other departments unless it’s completely necessary. 

“Right, this is everyone for now.” Kristie begins, “I would have liked for Jude to attend the meeting today and share the news himself, but unfortunately he had to go and visit his family in Chicago and I’m not able to leave this topic for much longer.” 

Christen looks up from her notebook with a questioning gaze. 

“Jude recently came to inform me that he’ll be moving to Chicago over the summer.” Kristie explains before continuing. “As I’m sure you’ll have guessed by now, this means that we’d normally start opening up applications and interviews to fill his role.”

“Normally?” Julie questions, with Alex and Christen nodding along to Julie’s question, also wondering what Kristie means. 

“Well...I was looking into the teacher to student ratios a couple of weeks ago, and I noticed that you often have teachers overlapping, or more than one member of staff with a class at a time.” Kristie mentions before continuing, “I know that generally, we have good students here, who are manageable and well-behaved, so I guess what I was wondering is if you’d be able to manage every class with just one teacher or not?”

“I mean, I think we would be able to manage.” Alex pauses, making sure that her words come out right. “But I do think that having an extra member of staff available makes it a lot easier with some classes.” 

“Yeah, I agree.” Christen nods, “We’d definitely be able to manage the classes by ourselves, but there are a few classes with more students and some with a very wide range of abilities, where having another teacher makes it a lot easier to ensure that everyone is learning something.” 

“Were you thinking of not replacing Jude and cutting down the PE department?” Christen wonders, just wanting to know what Kristie’s alternative thought is. 

Kristie goes on to speak of a new idea she recently had, when looking into the working hours for her current PE staff. 

She knows that they tend to have longer shifts than most of the other teachers, due to the extracurricular programs that they run almost everyday after school. The extra hours have definitely paid off with the success and participation rates, but it doesn’t make their job any easier. 

She mentions the thought of possibly bringing in a separate member of staff, whose main focus would be the extracurriculare programs and ensuring that they all run smoothly. 

Kristie would start by supporting the individuals of that role to find specialized coaches for each sport, knowing it would improve their junior varsity and varsity teams by a mile already. 

They’ve never done much on the competitive side of high school sports so far, but now that they have the facilities and the opportunity to bring someone in who could be in charge of all the coaches and teams, she thinks that they could take their teams to a whole other level and make their way up to becoming one of the best schools in the leagues. 

Alex agrees with the idea, seeing all the benefits from it and knowing what an impact it would make, but she’s still slightly hesitant about being one down on the number of PE teachers at the school. 

  
She figures that this would make it even more difficult if one of them has personal leave or is unable to come in because of an illness or conference. 

“That was my next thought, actually.” Kristie nods, acknowledging their concerns. “Would it be possible to work this way, if we bring in someone who also has a teaching degree and experience? This would mean that they could teach certain classes and help out when needed, which would be scheduled hours, but ultimately their main focus is on the competitive side of our sports.” 

When all three of them take a second to think it over and then nod in agreement, they start discussing possible dates to hold interviews. 

Teaching-related jobs always get a high number of applications in no time, so Kristie is planning on putting out the applications over the next week and then looking into possible candidates. 

If she needs to, she’ll be willing to extend these dates and hold interviews over summer break, but she’d much prefer to get them done and out of the way with as soon as possible. 

Alex and Julie each have one more class to teach for the day, so they leave to have a quick break before their students arrive for the lesson, whilst Christen stays to discuss and clarify their upcoming plans.

“So Chris, since you’re the Head of the Physical Education department, I’m going to put you down to run the interviews with me. I’ll obviously be finalizing the decision at the end, but I don’t want to do that without your input!” Christen nods in agreement. 

“If we could arrange the interviews for your least busy day over the next few weeks, so then we could interview the candidates and make the decisions, since you’ll be the one working alongside them.” Kristie finishes what she was saying. 

\-------

“Ready?” Christen asks Kristie, looking over at the woman. 

“Ready!” Kristie nods, sitting down at her desk. “We have a long day ahead of us, but I have high hopes.” 

They are in a smaller conference room this time. It’s right next to the staff room, making it a good place for the staff to eat their lunch more often than not, when they wanted a few peaceful minutes before getting back to lessons and high school students. 

The room’s white walls and big windows allow the sunlight to shine into the room, making it a very open and friendly space. 

There’s a long table in the middle of the room, which Christen and Kristie and currently sitting on, side-by-side. They’re facing the window, with an empty chair opposite them.

Prior to this meeting, Christen had discussed what they were looking for during the interviews. She’d made a list and made sure she was prepared, meaning she has enough information to feed back to them later today. 

Her schedule has also been cleared for the day, with Jude and Julie covering most of her lessons, so Kristie and Christen can take their time with the interviews and don’t have to rush. 

The interviews still seem to drag on more and more as they go along, and Christen and Kristie are more than ready for their third cup of coffee by the time they reach lunch time. 

“So I thought that Alex Greenwood and Leah Williamson were our best ones so far.” Kristie voices as she sits down next to Christen to eat her lunch. “I think Becky Sauerbrunn and Jane Campbell would be potentials for maybe a follow-up interview too, if that’s necessary, but so far those would be my top four applicants.” 

Christen hums in agreement, trying to think back through all of the interviews they sat through this morning. “Yeah, I agree with that, but I also thought that Lucy Staniforth showed some good potential.” 

They mostly sit in comfortable silence whilst eating their lunch, just trying to catch a short break before the next round of interviews are going to start. 

Kristie had received more applications than she expected, with all of the interviews taking place so far. They’ve had some good ones up to this point, but none of the individuals have stood out more than the others. 

Christen can’t quite put her finger on it, but she’s still searching for something that she hasn’t found in any of them. 

After their short twenty minute lunch break, they make their way back into the conference room for the rest of the day, preparing the information that they need for their next round of interviews. 

They get started as soon as the clock strikes half-past twelve, with the next three hours involving a wide range of teachers with relatively different characters. 

And once again, most of them meet all of the different ideas Alex and Julie had brainstormed prior to this meeting, but none of them have impressed Christen to the point of standing out.

That doesn’t mean she wouldn’t work with them or have them as part of her department, but she wants the right person to get this job. She needs someone that she knows is capable of filling this role and someone who she trusts to bounce ideas off each other and someone she can picture herself working together with, without any major issues. 

All of that changes at their half-past three meeting. 

The woman entering the room is a little lanky, with dirty blonde hair. Christen notices that she looks relaxed - a lot more relaxed than everyone else had been so far - and she finds herself intrigued to what her personality is going to be like. 

Kristie offers the woman a professional and polite smile, sticking her hand out. “Good afternoon, please take a seat. I’m Kristie Mewis, the principal at Mira Costa High School.”

“Tobin Heath. It’s a pleasure to meet you!” She greets with a big smile, before turning to Christen and shaking her hand too.

“Christen Press, Leader of the Physical Education department.” She introduces herself, locking eyes with the woman in front of her. 

Christen feels something twist deep in her stomach at the contact of their hands, but shrugs it off as the four cups of coffee and unhealthy lunch she had earlier today. 

Turns out that Tobin is one of the nicest and calmest people Christen has ever met. 

And not in the annoying or fake way, but in a genuine and caring way.

She quickly finds herself liking the attitude the woman has towards both the school and this job opportunity. 

Christen finds out that Tobin is a UNC graduate, who has previously been working at Lincoln High School in Portland, Oregon. She started working there right after graduating from College and has just made the move to Los Angeles less than a month ago, after hearing about the job. 

It surprised Christen a little - to hear that someone moved states just for a job opening - but when she has a look at Tobin, she thinks it suits her. It’s something that seems like a Tobin thing to do, which is crazy considering she knows close to nothing about this woman and has only just known her for a short twenty minutes. 

Christen and Kristie give each other a knowing look at the end of the interview, both of them recognizing right away that Tobin is a lot different than all of the other applicants they previously spoke to. 

Kristie starts packing her notes and files up at the end of the interview, giving Tobin a knowing look. “Thank you very much for coming today, Tobin. It’s been great to meet you and between you and me, I think there’s a high chance of us working together at some point sooner rather than later.”

“Thank you both for your time.” Tobin smiles kindly in return, shaking both of their hands again.

“Chris, I’ve got to run as Rachel lands in exactly thirty-five minutes and I still have to get some gas. Would you mind walking Tobin out when you leave?” Kristie questions as she looks down at the time on her watch, seeing that she’s cutting it very close. 

“Of course!” Christen nods right away, not seeing a problem with that and knowing it’ll be nice to spend five minutes getting to know the woman. “I thought she wasn’t coming home for another two weeks?”

Kristie nods, confirming Christen’s assumption. “She actually wasn’t supposed to come back until the end of the month, but her ankle has been bothering her again, so they decided to send her home instead of making her stay for the last camp. They want her to rest and recover now, before it turns into something more serious and she ends up having to miss out on the season and future camps.” 

“That makes sense.” Christen responds to the information. “Will you invite her along to Happy Hour on Friday, please? It’s been over a month since I’ve seen her, so Rach and I have a lot of catching up to do.” 

“You can have her for the next few days if you want.” Kristie offers as a joke. “She’s the moodiest person I know when she’s jetlagged.”

They both laugh, saying their quick goodbyes and see you tomorrows before Christen continues packing her stuff up too. 

She looks up at Tobin, who’s standing there and looking around the room. “Would it be alright if I quickly walk to the office and grab my bag? It just saves me having to go back there afterwards, and that way I can just lock up right away.” 

“Yeah, no problem.” Tobin nods, not having anywhere to be anyway. “This school seems really great!” She comments with a genuine tone, looking around on their way to the Physical Education office. 

“It really is!” Christen can’t help but smile at the thought. “I love working here and all of the staff are super friendly and good friends with each other. I haven’t been here that long, but they were all really welcoming as soon as I met them.” 

“Right, this is the PE office.” Christen continues as they reach the closed door, holding it open for Tobin as she walks in. “At the moment it’s shared by Alex, Julie, Jude and me, but Jude is moving to Chicago over the summer, so I’m guessing that they want the new extracurricular manager in here too?” She shrugs, not having discussed this with Kristie yet.

She makes a mental note to do so. 

Tobin looks around until her eyes fall on the map of the facility that was built last year. 

“Wow, I can’t believe how big the next sports facility is.” She comments with wide eyes, being impressed right away. “It would be so cool to work with something like that. I would have loved these kinds of opportunities as a child.” 

“I know right! Me too.” Christen looks in Tobin’s direction. “I loved playing sports when I was growing up, so I can imagine how great it must feel to be able to train at these types of facilities.”

They make small talk as they head towards the side entrance, which leads to the staff and visitor car park. 

The car park is almost empty by now, with the janitor’s car being parked by the back entrance, as well as Christen and Tobin’s cars. 

“Well, this is my car. It was really nice meeting you, Tobin, and I hope I get to work with you next year.” Christen exclaims with a soft smile. 

Their eyes lock again and Christen finds herself feeling that unfamiliar feeling in her stomach again. She almost welcomes that feeling, one which makes her feel happy. 

She shakes her head to snap out of her thoughts, deciding that it’s way too late to be leaving work and she desperately needs some sleep after such a long day. 

Tobin sticks her hand out for Christen to shake, clearly trying to be polite. “It was nice meeting you too. Bye, Christen.” 

Christen opens her car, placing her bag and files on the back seat, before climbing into the driver's seat and waving at Tobin one last time. 

Once Tobin gets to her car, she gets in and pulls out behind Christen, secretly wishing that she’ll get the job. 

Maybe it’s because she really wants to get to know Christen. She wants to know all about her. 

Or maybe it’s because all she can think about for the rest of the night is Christen’s green eyes and the way they looked grey as the lighting changed. 

She would never acknowledge that to anyone else though. 

\-------

Christen pulls into the half-filled staff car park, letting out a deep sigh. 

It’s her first week back at work after a long, happy and sunny summer break.

Half of it was filled with quality time spent with her family or enjoying days doing various summer activities with Kelley. Kelley also dragged her out to a bar once or twice, but she kindly declined her other invitations, opting to stay in for the night. She had also found time to spend with Kristie and Rachel, even if she spent most of that time gushing over their new dog. 

Now though, it’s back to reality. Well, not quite yet, thankfully. 

She still has a week until all of the students are back at school, so she has this week to spend wisely by getting prepared for all of her upcoming lessons and making sure everything is in place. 

Just as she’s about to open her car door, she spots white Jeep Compass pulling into the parking space next to her. 

The car looks familiar, but she can’t seem to recall who it belongs to. Christen shrugs, thinking that she had probably just seen it on the road on her way to work. She opens her car door again, grabbing her purse and closing the door again. 

Just as Christen opens the trunk of her car, trying to gather all of her belongings and paperwork she’s going to need for the day, a cheerful voice startles her. 

“Morning, Christen!” She hears the voice call, turning her head to see Tobin standing next to the Jeep with a wide smile on her face. 

“Hey, Tobin. It’s so good to see you again!” Christen greets her, trying to cheer up and not scare the woman away already. She really is happy to see her again. “How are you?”

“I’m great, thank you.” Tobin responds right away, looking into the green eyes she still hasn’t stopped thinking about since first seeing them. “How are you?” 

“I’m good.” Christen responds, before looking into the trunk of her car again.

“Can I give you a hand with anything?” Tobin offers when her eyes follow Christen’s, seeing what she has to carry inside. 

“Would you mind just grabbing that purple file for me? Then I should have everything I need.” She sees the woman picking the file up before she’s even able to finish her sentence. 

Tobin got the job after a quick five minute discussion between Christen and Kristie, right before the summer break. She isn’t due to start working here until the same day as the students return to school, but she requested to come in early too. 

She wants to meet all of the staff and find her way around the building, before the chaos is going to start in the first semester. It also means that she can get a headstart with organizing and setting up the training programmes in advance, knowing she wants to improve the teams they have as much as she can. 

The plan is for Tobin to stick with Christen for the next week, so she has a somewhat familiar face there, and so they can work together and prepare everything. 

Christen drops her bag in the Physical Education office and sets her files down, watching as Tobin leaves her own bag on her new desk. 

“Before we get started...coffee?” Christen questions, grabbing her phone out of her bag and checking the time. 

“That sounds like a really good idea right now.” Tobin nods with a smile. They slowly make their way towards the staff room, making some small talk about how their break has been. 

Tobin tells Christen about her spending the summer with her parents, as well as flying out to see both of her sisters and exploring the local area more. 

Christen tells Tobin about her family and some of how she spent her summer.

Just as Christen pushes the door open to the staff room, she’s tackled into a hug. “Pressi!” 

_ Here we go again,  _ Christen thinks to herself with an eye roll. As much as Kelley’s usual antics annoy her, she wouldn’t have it any other way and loves her friend, a lot. 

Kelley is as hyper and energetic as she always is. That’s one thing Christen has grown to learn over their years of friendship - that no matter what time of the day it is, Kelley will always be keeping everyone entertained and laughing. 

The impact from the hug makes Christen take a couple of steps back, before chuckling to herself. 

“Kelley, you’re going to kill Christen one of these mornings!” Servando calls out from across the room. He’s one of the geography teachers at the school and also Alex’s husband. 

Alex laughs, agreeing with her husband. “You’d think it’s been weeks since you two have last seen each other.”

“Kel, you’re gonna have to let me go at some point.” Christen urges, not being able to move. “I literally can’t breathe.” 

The group of teachers in the staff room are all laughing now, with Tobin standing slightly nervous on the side. 

Kelley finally releases Christen from her hug after a long moment, so Christen moves back over to stand next to Tobin. 

“By the way, everyone, this is Tobin.” Christen announces, explaining further to continue her introduction. “She’s going to be a starting a new role here as the Extracurricular Manager, whilst also teaching in the PE department.” 

Christen looks at Tobin before pointing to the teachers sitting in various places around the room. “Tobin, this is Alex, Servando, Julie, Kelley, Carli and Zach. Julie and Alex are PE teachers, so you’ll probably see them two and me the most throughout the day.” 

“And Kelley, because her and Christen might as well be attached by the hip!” Julie exclaims, earning a light swap on her arm by Christen.

“That is so not true!” Christen rolls her eyes, giving Julie a disapproving look. 

“Sorry, how long has it been since you last saw each other?” Alex chips in, looking between the pair. 

Kelley chuckles, before looking at Christen with amused eyes. “Since last night.” 

The whole group laughs whilst Christen shoots her a half-amused and half-annoyed look.

“Yes, Kelley, and why exactly was that?” She continues on from her friend. “I was perfectly happy, eating a tub of ice cream and watching Friends on my sofa, until I got a call from someone...”

Christen raises her eyebrow at Kelley. “...Saying they were bored and asking if I was busy. I didn’t even get the option or chance to say no, as Kelley was already parked in my driveway and has a key to my house.”

The group starts laughing even more at this, knowing it’s a typical Kelley thing to do and definitely not the first time she’s done this to Christen. “At least I called first and didn’t just let myself in!” 

“Anyway, I just came here to get myself a coffee and then get on with some work, not put up with whatever this is.” Christen points around the room, narrowing her eyes and laughing. 

She turns to face Tobin when everyone else has returned to their conversations. “Sorry about that, how do you have your coffee?” 

\-------

The first few months go as smooth as they possibly could - just like Christen had expected and hoped for. 

Tobin had settled in quicker than she could blink and everyone quickly grew to love her. She was also a great addition to the teaching staff and made the teams the most popular they’ve ever been. They’ve also started seeing an improvement in each of their places in the leagues, with Tobin looking for people with experience to coach the teams instead of teachers chipping in where they can. 

Even though she’s reserved and quiet, she gets on great with all of the other teachers too, as well as winning over the students. They all adore her joking and funny personality. 

Christen is the person who’s grown closest to Tobin.

She has convinced herself that it’s solemnly down to the fact that she works so closely together with Tobin, but she still isn’t able to place this strange and unusual feeling she has towards the hazel-eyed woman. 

They have their own little routine now, with whoever arrives first each morning, bringing coffee for the other person. 

Over the weeks, this had turned into them arriving half-an-hour early, just to spend some time together in the office before all of the chaos starts. During this time, they either talk a little - having a chance to get to know each other better - or sit in a comfortable silence whilst sipping on their coffee. 

But never once has it been awkward or strange between them. 

With Kelley’s girlfriend being around more often than not now and the woman having more than enough maths papers to mark, Tobin and Christen also find themselves spending more and more time together outside of school and work hours. 

Even if Christen would never admit this out loud, spending time with Tobin is her new favorite thing. It’s easy, it’s always been easy, and she never fails to have a good time. 

There’s still one thing that Tobin had been too nervous to do for the first weeks, and that’s join all of the teachers for Happy Hour on Fridays. She doesn’t feel like she’d belong there and she isn’t a big drinker anyway. 

But all of that changed one afternoon in September, when Christen and her were the only ones left in the office. 

Christen was just packing up all of her stuff, before she would be driving downtown to their weekly hangout place, when she turns around and looks at Tobin as she reaches for the door handle. 

“Hey, Tobs.” Christen starts, waiting until she’s got her full attention. “You should come with us some time. I’d really like to have you there.”

That’s how Tobin ends up agreeing, because how could she not. How could she say no, when Christen is looking at her with hopeful eyes and a soft smile, sending butterflies and a shiver through Tobin’s body.

That’s also how Tobin ends up at the next Happy Hour, sitting right next to Christen at their long table. 

“So, Tobin.” Kelley pulls the chair opposite Christen and Tobin out, sitting down after already having one too many drinks. “Are you in a relationship at the moment?” She questions with a raised eyebrow. 

“Oh, ehm, um, no. I’m not.” Tobin is clearly caught off-guard by this question and shifts slightly uncomfortably. 

“Well, there’s a woman sitting at the end of the bar, who keeps eyeing you. She’s hot and I think you should go and chat her up.” Kelley shrugs, unsure if Tobin is even into women. 

“I saw her earlier and she’s not really my type, but thanks, Kelley...I think?” Tobin questions her own response.

Christen lets out the deep breath that she hadn’t even realized she was holding. 

She isn’t sure why, but for some reason, the thought of Tobin paying attention to someone who isn’t Christen takes the air out of her lungs and makes her feel something strange. 

She’s so used to sitting there with Tobin, talking about the most random topics, that she felt disappointed thinking about sitting here by herself with Tobin talking to someone else. 

Much to Christen’s relief, the night ends not too long after, without Tobin as much as looking into the woman’s direction. 

And then over the next few weeks, Christen and Tobin fall into a routine of becoming  _ Happy Hour buddies _ as they like to call it. 

They leave work together on the Friday, driving to either Christen or Tobin’s place to get ready and then share a ride to the bar they meet their colleagues at. Their nights tend to only involve one or two drinks, as neither of them are big on alcohol, but they still get an uber most of the time, just in case one of them ends up having one too many drinks. 

If that isn’t enough already, they have an endless string of texts to one another, so their phones are only silent when they’re around each other, teaching, or asleep. 

Their favorite thing is definitely Monday mornings through, where they meet up extra early to discuss the upcoming week. It never takes long for their conversation to stray away from work and into random questions or facts they have yet to learn about the other. 

Kelley has long given up on Chisten’s love life and since most of their other teachers are either married, in a relationship or not too familiar with Kelley, she made it her new aim to find Tobin someone to date. 

To say Kelley was excited when Tobin first confirmed her suspicions of being gay is a huge understatement. 

This is how Kelley is now constantly on Tobin’s case about women who are apparently  _ out of this world  _ or  _ totally hot  _ and checking Tobin out. 

The majority of the time Tobin just ignores Kelley, turning back towards Christen and listening intently to whatever the younger woman is talking about at that moment. 

Every time Kelley brings up a new woman who would go out on a date with Tobin, Christen clenches her jaw. She doesn’t even need a glance at any of these women to decide that they would never be good enough for Tobin. 

It isn’t long after that when everything finally clicks into place for Christen and she comes to a sudden realization. 

“Yo, Tobin. Please finally accept my offer at wanting to set you up! There’s a really cute woman who’s just walked in and I think she would definitely be your type.” Kelley is back once again, determined not to give up on getting Tobin to agree to at least one date. 

Tobin sighs, leaning her head back for a moment before looking at Kelley. “Kelley, I know you mean well, but no matter how hard you try, I’m not going to agree to any of your dates or whatever they are. Plus, you don’t even know what my type is.” 

“Well, if she isn’t your type, then what is your type?” Kelley pushes, trying to get more out of her. 

Tobin, on the other hand, is trying to stay calm and not get annoyed at the other woman. “Look, Kelley. Who I want to date and who I don’t want to date isn’t really any of your business. I don’t mean this in a rude way, but I’m a very private person. I’d prefer to be the one in control of my own love life and I’m not really one for random bar hook-ups or dates. If I’m going to get into a relationship with someone, I like getting to know them properly, when they’re not drunk or trying to get with the first person they see.”  
  
Saying those words out loud makes Tobin realize just how much she’s changed over the past year, since she ended things with someone she was sleeping with. She’s glad to see that change, but Kelley doesn’t know that.   
  
No one needs to know about that part of her life and her dating history, unless she wants to start a relationship with that person. Then she’d want them to know.   
  
Kelley definitely saw this coming, but slumps down in her chair with a sigh anyway. “Okay, I guess that’s fair, it was worth a shot though. Let me know if you ever want a date though and I’d be more than happy to find you someone to set you up with.”   
  
Christen returns to the table as Kelley finishes her sentence, having gone to the bar to get a drink for her and Tobin. She sets Tobin’s glass down in front of her,r before sitting down on the empty chair next to her.   
  
“Who’s setting who up?” She raises an eyebrow, wondering what the pair are talking about.   
  
“No one is setting anyone up and it’s staying that way, okay?” Tobin shoots a final look at Kelley, before deciding to drop the subject and get into their plans for the weekend instead.   
  
Judging by the look on Tobin’s face right now, Christen decides it’s best to drop the subject and not question her any further.   
  
Somehow, they both end up slightly tipsy after having a few too many drinks, much to Julie’s amusement.   
  
Christen and Tobin call an uber just after eleven o’clock, getting dropped off outside of Tobin’s house, where Christen’s car has been parked for the past few hours.   
  
“No way, Chris.” Tobin stops Christen, reaching for her wrist as Christen is about to head in the direction of her car. “You’re not driving home like this!”   
  
“I’m fine, Tobin. I’m not even drunk and I only live fifteen minutes away.” Christen yawns, clearly feeling exhausted.   
  
Tobin takes a step closer to Christen, lightly tugging on her arm and walking towards the front door. “You might think you’re fine, but I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you.”  
  
“It’s already late and I know you hate driving in the dark. You can just stay at mine tonight and then drive home tomorrow morning.” Tobin offers, tilting her head as she looks at Christen.   
  
Christen sighs, giving in and deciding to admit that Tobin is right. “Okay, fine. As long as you’re sure that I won’t be any bother.”   
  
They make their way into Tobin’s house and start getting ready to go to bed.  
  
Tobin gets out a spare toothbrush and a contacts case for Christen, giving her a pair of shorts and an old sweatshirt to sleep in. The sweatshirt is navy with North Carolina Tar Heels written on the front of it and Heath 98 printed across the back of it.   
  
Tobin puts her own clothes from the day away, turning around to speak to Christen. “You can take my bed and I’ll sleep on the sofa for tonight, if you want.”  
  
Tobin has spare rooms in her house, but she hasn’t made the bed since she didn’t expect anyone to stay over and she was way too tired to start getting out a duvet and bed sheets now.   
  
“Tobin, don’t be silly. Your bed is big enough for both of us, so we can just share it.” Christen has shared her bed with friends before, so she isn’t sure why both her and Tobin are blushing right now.   
  
She looks up, waiting for Tobin’s reaction. And Tobin would be lying if she said that the thought of sharing a bed with Christen doesn’t make her feel nervous and excited at the same time.   
  
“Okay.” She agrees with a tired smile. “Which side of the bed do you want?”   
  
“The left one?” Christen shrugs, but Tobin just nods and climbs into the right side, settling herself into bed.   
  
Christen turns Tobin’s bathroom light off, before also doing the same. She finds herself feeling that unfamiliar feeling in her stomach again as she climbs into the bed.  
  
She lies down facing Tobin and just admires the woman for a moment.   
  
Tobin’s skin is glowing from the slight ray of moonlight shining through the side of the curtains. Her hazel-colored eyes are staring right into Christen’s green ones, as if their eyes are having their own conversation.   
  
They stay like that for a long moment, until a smile makes its way onto Tobin’s face, immediately lighting up Christen’s face too and causing her to smile.   
  
“Goodnight, Chris.” Tobin whispers into the silence.   
  
“Night, Tobs.” Christen responds quietly, “Thank you for letting me stay here tonight.”  
  
“You’re always welcome here, Chris.” Tobin emphasises, her eyes scanning over Christen’s face. “I hope you know that.”  
  
As Christen rolls over in the bed to face the other way, it dawns on her and her eyes shoot wide open into the darkness.   
  
All of those text messages, phone calls, coffee mornings, spontaneous plans, inside jokes, and all of that time spent together without anyone else being around wasn’t just them growing closer as friends.   
  
It isn’t that the dates Kelley would set Tobin up on would never be good enough for her, it’s that they aren’t Christen.  
  
That unfamiliar feeling in Christen’s stomach isn’t just something she ate, it’s a rush of butterflies - something she hasn’t felt in _so_ long.   
  
Christen wants to be with Tobin.   
  
She’s falling for Tobin.  
  
And that scares her, because not only is Tobin becoming one of her best friends, but Christen also hasn’t dated in years.  
  
_This can’t be. I’m straight, so it must be something else._ _  
__  
__But the only time I feel this way is when I’m around Tobin and I want to be around her all of the time. I just want to spend as much time with her as I can._ _  
__  
__Shit, I’m falling in love with my friend. I’m falling in love with a woman._ _  
__  
__I- I’m not straight?_ _  
__  
_ Christen falls asleep to the shock of her whole world being turned upside down.   
  
All her life she thought she knew who she was and what she wanted, but now all of that got flipped around and maybe the stereotypical life isn’t what she wants afterall.   
  
Maybe having a husband, two kids, two dogs and living in the suburbs isn’t what she envisions for herself anymore.   
  
\-------  
  
After what seems like hours of Christen lying awake the previous night, twisting and turning and just trying to shut her mind off, she does eventually drift to sleep.   
  
She’s never felt this way about anyone before - not even her ex-boyfriend, who she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with, at one point.   
  
_What do I do now?_ _  
__  
__I can’t ruin our friendship by telling her and there’s no way she’d ever feel the same way about me anyway._ _  
__  
_ She falls asleep so late, that Tobin happens to be the first one to wake up in the morning.   
  
Tobin opens her eyes with slight confusion, feeling soft, curly hairs in her neck. Slowly, she rises into consciousness and registers the scene in front of her.  
  
Tobin is lying behind Christen, with Christen’s back pressed up against her front. Their legs are intertwined and Tobin’s arm is around Christen’s waist, Tobin’s hand resting on the bare skin of her hip from where the sweatshirt had ridden up in her sleep.   
  
For the first time in a long time, Tobin feels content and safe.   
  
She feels like she never wants to get up. Instead, wanting to pull Christen closer and stay there. She wants to protect her from anything that might hurt her and wants Christen’s safe place to be her arms.   
  
For a long moment, Tobin allows herself to meddle in the feeling. She snuggles into Christen a little more, nuzzling her face into the back of Christen’s neck and taking in the sweet smell of Christen’s shampoo.   
  
Tobin gets lost in her own thoughts whilst lying there, trying to imagine what it would be like to be with Christen and be able to wake up like this every single day.   
  
She shakes her head, trying not to get ahead of herself.  
  
_Stop it, Tobin. Don’t get your hopes up on something that will never happen anyway._ _  
__  
__It’s not like she’d ever want to be with you and she’s never said or done anything that shows she’s interested in women, so she’s probably straight._ _  
__  
_ Tobin finally convinces herself to get out of bed ten minutes later. She decides it’s best to get up before Christen wakes up to them lying in their current position and notices that Tobin is already awake.   
  
She heads into the kitchen, making them both some breakfast, before grabbing two trays and two cups of coffee and heading back to her bedroom.   
  
Tobin can’t help but feel the butterflies in her stomach at the sight of Christen sleeping in _her_ bed in _her_ sweatshirt with _her_ name on it. _  
__  
_ “Chris!” Tobin speaks quietly, barely above a whisper. “Chris, wake up.”   
  
“Hmm?” Christen hums into the pillow, pulling the duvet a little tighter around herself, clearly feeling exhausted from the previous night.   
  
“I made you some breakfast and there’s a cup of coffee for you.” Tobin explains, leaving the cup of coffee on the nightstand.   
  
Christen slowly opens her eyes at this, looking at Tobin. “You did?”  
  
Tobin nods and Christen smiles right away. Sure she’s made herself breakfast before and then went back to bed to eat it, but she’s _never_ had anyone make her breakfast in bed.   
  
She sits up, rubbing her eyes as Tobin places the tray onto Christen’s lap, before getting back into bed on the other side and lifting her own tray up too.   
  
They only make small talk whilst eating breakfast, Christen still trying to wake up and adjust to the daylight. She feels emotionally drained, but the cup of coffee is helping her keep her eyes open.   
  
“This was really good.” Christen gives Tobin a grateful smile before setting the tray down on the floor. “Thank you, Tobs.”   
  
“Okay, I think I’ve taken up enough of your time already and you’re probably sick of me by now.” Christen laughs before continuing. “I’ll help you clean up these dishes and then I should probably get going.”   
  
She thinks she might be misreading the situation, but for a split second she thinks she sees a hint of disappointment in Tobin’s eyes. Christen doesn’t have any time to think about it any further, as Tobin is already standing up and grabbing her tray.   
  
After all of the dishes are put away and Christen is changed into a different sweatshirt and sweatpants to wear, she collects her phone and car keys, before heading for the door. “Thank you again for letting me stay last night. I had a really great time with you.”   
  
“No problem. Like I said, you’re always welcome here.” Tobin opens the door for her, but Christen surprises her by quickly leaning in to kiss her cheek before walking towards her car.   
  
“See you on Monday.” She hears Christen call out, but she’s too busy thinking about the way her cheek is burning from the contact.   
  
As soon as Christen pulls out of the driveway and onto the main road, she comes to her senses.   
  
_Did you just kiss her on the cheek? You just kissed her on the cheek!_ __  
_  
__Why would you do that?_ __So much for not wanting to ruin your friendship.


	3. What I've Been Looking For

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This feeling's like no other, I want you to know.  
> I've never had someone that knows me like you do.

Kelley has the biggest smile on her face as she stands in Christen’s kitchen, bouncing up and down on her feet. “Are you ready to go yet, Chris?” 

Christen grabs her purse from the top of the kitchen island and walks towards Kelley.

“Come on, let’s go.” She laughs whilst rushing out in front of her friend, making her way out of the door first. 

“Someone is happy to spend some time with me.” Kelley chuckles with a sly grin, winking in Christen’s direction.

Christen locks the front door, both of them making their way over to Christen’s car. “I’m always happy to be spending time with my dear friend.”

Kelley fakes a cough at Christen’s teasing tone, looking at her friend. “Correction - your favorite friend and Stanford buddy.” 

She opens the passenger door when she sees that Christen is already in the car. 

“Sorry, you’re right.” Christen quickly corrects herself with an amused look on her face. “I’m always happy to spend time with my favorite friend and Stanford buddy.” 

Christen starts the car and silently laughs to herself when she sees Kelley going to connect her own phone right away, something she always does when Christen drives her somewhere. 

“Hey, hands off!” Christen tries to keep a straight face, wanting to make her friend think that she’s being serious. “My car, my rules.” 

Kelley just pouts, continuing to look through her playlist for a song to play. “Come on, Pressi. We both know that my playlist is way better than yours.” 

Christen pulls up on the side of the road, them still being on the same road as her house. She turns to her friend as she puts the car in park. “I didn’t realize you wanted to walk. You could have mentioned that earlier.” 

Kelley moves her eyes from her phone up to Christen’s, looking into them as they both keep a straight face. It only takes a minute before they both burst out laughing and Christen starts driving again. 

“Okay, we’ll make a deal.” Christen offers, knowing she isn’t actually all that bothered. “You can pick the playlist on the way there, and if it’s good, I’ll let you keep it on for the way back. But if I don’t like it, then I will be putting mine on later.” 

Kelley rolls her eyes, exaggerating and acting extra dramatic. “If you insist.”

The two are going to spend the day on the beach. 

It’s been a while since they both had a free weekend for a chance to go surfing at the beach together, but they’re both exhausted from the stress over the past few weeks, so they decided to settle for paddling out into the ocean on the surfboards instead. 

They end up spending over an hour sitting on their surfboards and just enjoying the morning - talking about everything and anything. 

After they both get a little cold from the wind and decide that they’ve had enough, they throw on a pair of shorts and hoodie, before walking up to a small coffee shop just up the road. 

They walk up to the counter, with Christen being just about to order before Kelley cuts her off. “Two vanilla lattes and two chocolate brownies please.” 

She reaches over Christen, paying before Christen even has a chance to move, and taking their small tray to find a table to sit at. 

“That was smooth Kelley...real smooth.” Christen jokes as she follows Kelley, pulling a chair out and sitting down opposite her. 

Kelley shrugs, giving Christen her usual response. “What can I say, Pressi, I have a way with women.” 

She winks at her friend, before passing her the coffee and brownie. 

Kelley used to jokingly flirt with Christen all of the time in College. Christen knew that she never meant it seriously and that it was just her character, so she simply went along with it. But today, instead of giving her usual response of  _ nice try, but I’m about as straight as it gets  _ with Kelley scoffing and mumbling  _ whatever you say _ , Christen’s eyes just go wide and she stays silent.

Kelley looks up at Christen with shock and a raised eyebrow. When Christen refuses to look Kelley in the eyes, instead searching the room, she recognizes how uncomfortable her friend is and decides to drop it without interrogating her any further. 

They move onto a conversation about their families. 

Kelley has known the Press family for years now and Christen knows Kelley’s family just as well. 

Christen tells Kelley about Tyler’s new job, how Mikel is planning to propose to Channing and about the new puppy her parents have just adopted. 

Kelley tells Christen about her brother Jerry moving to Washington D.C, how her parents are doing and about the new maths teacher, who clearly doesn’t get the hint of Kelley being both gay and uninterested in him. 

She notices how weird Christen is acting throughout their whole interaction. She isn’t being rude or unfriendly and she doesn’t seem uninterested, but she definitely isn’t her open and funny self. 

Christen didn’t leave any teasing comments throughout all of Kelley’s stories and is so lost in thought, that she doesn’t even notice when Kelley stops talking. 

“Hey, what’s going on? Are you ok?” Kelley speaks softly, not wanting to startle her friend out of whatever gaze she’s currently in. 

Christen shakes her head to snap back into the moment, trying to catch up with what Kelley has just said to her. “Huh? Oh yeah, I’m fine. You can keep talking, I am listening.” 

“No, you aren’t, Chris.” Kelley shakes her head right away. “You’re miles away. Talk to me, what’s going on?” Her voice is kind and calm, instantly making Christen feel better. 

Christen takes a deep breath, deciding to just get it over with. She knows she can trust her friend, she’s been by Christen’s side through everything, but she doesn’t quite know where to start.

“Uhm, I have something I need to tell you, Kel.” Christen begins, biting her bottom lip with nerves. “I’ve been trying to figure something out for a little while now. Actually, scrap that...I know it for a fact. I guess I just don’t know where to go from here, so I need your help, please.”

After many nights, many sessions of meditating and spending long hours writing in her journal, Christen managed to figure out what all of this means to her. 

She’s so sure of it now, but she doesn’t know what to do next. She doesn’t know how to tell her family, because all they’ve ever known is Christen being straight. 

It’s taken her so long to figure this out, that she isn’t sure how they’ll react. 

“Okay.” Kelley responds a little slower this time, a hint of confusion in her voice. 

“Ehm, well, so, I- I’m bisexual.” Christen looks into Kelley’s eyes, trying to gauge her reaction.

She knows it won’t be a problem - Kelley is gay and has a girlfriend of her own, who’s bisexual, but she still wonders what her reaction is going to be. Especially since she knows Christen so well. 

Kelley breaks out into a massive smile, reaching for her friend’s hand and trying to comfort her. 

“It’s amazing that you’ve figured that out, Chris.” Kelley tells her with honesty. “You had me terrified for a second, though. I thought it was something about your health or that you’re moving away.: 

She squeezes Christen’s hand before continuing. “I know it must have taken you a lot to share that with me right now, so thank you for telling me and trusting me. I’m really proud of you.” 

“Thank you!” Christen smiles softly, instantly feeling happy and a sense of relief. It’s like a weight being lifted off her shoulders. “I know it took me a lot of years to even realize, but I’m really glad that I did, even if it scares me a little.”

Kelley takes a deep breath, wanting to make sure that these next words come out the way she wants them to. 

“I sort of suspected this for a little while in College, but I obviously would have never mentioned anything.” Kelley begins, seeing a surprised Christen urging her to continue. “I guess I always had a feeling that there was  _ something  _ there. Not in a bad way and I know that your feelings for Michael weren’t fake, but I just couldn’t help but feel that there was always something off or didn’t click. I just assumed that I was wrong and that it’s just because you hadn’t found the right person yet.” 

“Yeah, I guess I know what you mean. When I first realized that I had feelings for a woman, it scared me, so I guess I just pushed that thought away. But then when I thought about it more, all of the sudden everything just clicked into place and made sense.” She shrugs, thinking back to her disbelief when she first realized what her emotions mean. 

As she was sitting on her couch the weekend after staying at Tobin’s place and thinking it through a little more, things just seemed to keep coming up from her childhood. It was all of the little things that suddenly made sense.

“Wait...back up here.” Kelley’s jaw drops. “Christen Press likes someone?  _ The  _ Christen Press actually openly admits that she has feelings for someone?”

“Who is this lucky woman and why haven’t I heard of her any sooner? Does she know? Or do we need to make a plan here, Pressi.” She urges, this having taken her by complete surprise. 

_ I can’t tell her, not yet anyway.  _

_ There’s no point. It’s not as if Tobin feels the same way, so nothing would ever happen. And even if I would try, Tobin would probably just turn me down right away. _

_ Kelley has been trying to set Tobin up for so long, that it might get a little overwhelming if I tell her and she might try to hint to Tobin that I like her.  _

“That is for me to know and for you to guess.” Christen replies with a small grin instead. “I want to tell my parents about this first, before I even consider making a move, but she probably doesn’t feel the same way anyway, so I don’t know if it would be worth the risk.” 

“Okay, that’s fair.” Kelley responds, not wanting to push Christen too far out of her comfort zone. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but if you do decide to, I’m here and I also have the best ideas on how to win over your hot woman.” 

Christen rolls her eyes with a chuckle before Kelley continues. “And about your parents, Chris, just tell them. Have dinner with them sometime next week and lay it all out on the table. The longer you wait, the more nervous you’ll get.”

“Besides, Big Daddy and Stacy are the sweetest people ever. I have no doubt that they’ll be more than supportive.” 

Christen nods, agreeing with her friend. “I hope they will be. I’ll call them tonight and make plans.” 

“Good! Now come on, let’s go and enjoy the sun for a little bit longer.” Kelley drags her friend out of the coffee shop and back towards the beach. 

Christen does make plans with her family later that night. She’s going to have dinner with her parents on Friday night, meaning she’ll miss Happy Hour, but figuring that this is more important than going out for drinks. 

Before she hung up the call, she almost thought about inviting Tyler and Channing too, but she decided against that when she realized how nervous she already is.

\-------

Christen’s phone buzzes from her night stand - something she heard through her half-conscious state. 

She rolls over, going to check the time. 

**6:15am**

_ Why am I awake? Who’s texting me at this time on a Sunday?  _

She picks her phone up, with her eyes slowly adjusting to the lip up screen.

**Tobin Heath :** Hey! Good morning, Chris. I’m sorry that I’m texting you so early, but I woke up and couldn’t fall asleep again. I don’t really want to spend the day inside, so I was wondering if you have any plans for today? 

**Christen Press :** Morning. You just woke me up, so you owe me a coffee!

**Christen Press :** I’m free all day, what did you have in mind?

**Tobin Heath :** Shit, I’m sorry. I thought you might be awake by now! Leave the day to me, I have a plan. 

**Christen Press :** Tobin Heath has a plan? Who is this? Where’s my Tobingone? 

**Tobin Heath :** Yeah, yeah, very funny. Can I pick you up for seven? 

**Christen Press :** I’m looking forward to it :)

And she really is looking forward to it. She’s spending the day with Tobin after all, so what’s there not to be happy about? 

Christen gets out of bed with a smile on her face, almost feeling like a young and giddy child. 

_ Just friends, Christen. You guys are just friends.  _

Christen has a quick shower, blow drying and straightening her hair, before putting a pair of black skinny jeans on. They hug her thighs perfectly, and she’s confident enough to admit that. 

She decides to wear a white, slightly cropped, top with her blue jeans jacket from Levi’s. 

Checking the time, Christen sees that she has another fifteen minutes before Tobin is due to arrive, so she decides to apply some very light makeup, creating a natural look that still shows she made an effort. 

Before she knows it, she hears a knock on her front door. 

Christen quickly puts her Air Force 1’s one, figuring that she’ll want to be comfortable, and then grabbing her purse. 

“Hey, Tobs.” Christen gives her a smile as she opens the door, double checking that she has everything. 

“He-” Tobin begins, but her words are cut off when she sees Christen. 

_ Wow, she’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.  _

She shakes her head and clears her throat softly, starting all over again. “Hey, Chris. You look great.”

Christen blushes slightly and looks down for a split second. “Thank you. You do too, by the way!” 

“Oh, this is for you!” Tobin says before handing Christen the coffee she bought on her way, from Christen’s favorite coffee shop. 

Christen’s heart instantly melts at the gesture. “Tobs, you didn’t have to get me a coffee, you know. I was only joking.” 

Tobin shrugs, clearly indicating that it wasn’t an issue. “It’s a vanilla latte. Are you ready to go?”

Christen simply nods, stepping out of the house and pulling her keys out of her purse. 

“Okay, come on. I’m driving us.” Tobin announces, unlocking her car and waiting for Christen to follow her. 

“Can I know where we’re going yet?” Christen requests.

Tobin turns around, sending a wink in Christen’s direction, before opening the passenger door for her. “Nope, it’s a surprise.” 

They spend about forty minutes in the car, with Tobin letting Christen choose the playlist. Both of them happily sing along to their favorite songs, always being able to let go when they’re around each other. 

Once they get closer to their destination, Christen knows. She just knows. 

But there’s no way, right? 

Christen is more than a little surprised. “We’re- we’re in Santa Monica?” 

“I heard that you’ve been wanting to visit the Santa Monica Pier since forever, but for some reason never got the chance to.” Tobin explains as she opens Christen’s car door for her.

Christen climbs out of the car, looking around. “Yeah, I haven’t, but it’s been my plan to go for years now. I just never made the time to go.” 

She walks over to Tobin, pulling her into a tight hug. “I can’t believe you knew this. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You’re the best!” 

Maybe another reason why she hasn’t been yet is because she didn’t want to go by herself. 

Tobin beams at her with the biggest and brightest smile Christen has ever seen. “Don’t thank me just yet. The day is only just getting started.” 

They spend the morning hours of the day at Santa Monica Pier, letting go for a few hours and just enjoying each other’s company. 

They go on almost all of the amusement rides, taking pictures of the view and Tobin even manages to get Christen on the ferris wheel, despite her small fear of heights. 

At lunch time, Tobin drags them away from the pier and back towards her car.

She gives Christen her stuff, before reaching into the car for a small picnic bag and blanket. 

Tobin had prepared small snacks and some sandwiches beforehand, for her and Christen to eat. They find a spot away from the crowds in the Palisades Park, looking out onto the ocean. 

Christen lays out the picnic blanket and they settle down to enjoy their food. 

Whilst they eat, conversation flows easily, giving them just another opportunity to get to know each other even better. 

Even though they’ve become very good friends over the time they’ve known each other, there are still so many things that they don’t know about the other. 

Tobin learns that Christen’s last relationship was just over three years ago with a guy who broke her heart. She didn’t want to get into too much detail, since she’s been having a really good day and hasn’t thought about it for a while, but she surprises herself when she manages to tell Tobin most of what happened without even feeling a lump in the back of her throat. 

Maybe she’s been doing a better job at healing over the past three years than she thought. 

Christen learns that Tobin was casually seeing someone for a few months up until about a year ago, but they were never anything official or exclusive. Tobin also explains that she hasn’t been in a serious relationship since College, which was also her last proper relationship, as she wanted to take some time for herself and fully accept herself. She also mentions that she feels she’s reached that point and isn’t desperately looking for something, but she would be open to dating again if something were to come along. 

Christen has truly been enjoying herself so far and thinks that this might be the most relaxed she’s felt in months, or maybe even years. 

It reminds her once again of how easy everything is when Tobin is around. 

“This was really sweet of you, Tobin. Thank you.” Christen goes a little shy all of the sudden, trying not to blush. “I appreciate everything about today so much.” 

“I have one, well two, more surprises, Chris, so our day isn’t over yet.” Tobin announces in a hopeful voice, breathing out a sigh of relief when Christen smiles. “We have to go to the car though, otherwise we won’t make it in time.” 

Their destination is unclear at first and Christen feels a little lost, trying to guess where they’re going. She’s speechless when Tobin pulls into a familiar parking lot. 

_ There’s no way, right? _

_ How would Tobin even know that I like soccer and that I support Los Angeles Football Club?  _

“Don’t look so shocked, Christen. I do actually pay attention to what my friends say, you know, even if it doesn’t always seem that way.” Tobin laughs at Christen’s expression, clearly not knowing what to do with herself. “Come on, champ. We don’t want to miss the start of the game!” 

Christen shakes her head, trying to return to reality. 

They are standing in front of the Banc of California Stadium, about to watch the Los Angeles women’s soccer team play. 

Christen has supported this team ever since it first became a professional team and joined the NWSL, which was already three years ago. 

She’s played soccer for pretty much all of her life - since the day she could walk - so she was over the moon when she found out that there would be a women’s team in Los Angeles. The fact that one of her closest friends is a player on the team definitely doesn’t hurt either. 

“Tobs, what the heck? How do you even know I support LAFC or that I like soccer?” Christen wonders as she gets out of the car, jogging a few steps to catch up with the older woman. “I don’t think we’ve ever discussed this.” 

  
Tobin gives Christen a grin that tells her they haven’t. “Maybe we have, maybe we haven’t.”

“Aren’t you full of surprises today.” Christen mumbles as they make their way inside, so excited to watch the game now. 

They grab some drinks and head off towards their seats in the stands. 

Today’s match is against Chicago Red Stars, a team that Los Angeles has struggled to beat in the past. 

Christen had been planning on watching the match at home tonight, since she hadn’t been in the mood to leave the house today, but of course all of that changed when Tobin texted her. 

She watches their games whenever she has a chance to, but she usually watches from home, as she doesn’t tend to decide whether she’ll watch the game until a few hours before kick-off. 

Normally, she’ll watch live games with a nervous feeling, especially when the opponents tend to be better and stronger. 

Today though, she has full confidence that Los Angeles could win. She has one of her favorite people by her side to watch the favorite team play - that has to be good luck, right? 

“So please tell me how you even know that I like soccer, Tobin?” Christen wants to clarify the situation once they’re sitting down in the stands. 

Tobin turns to face Christen. “I know you played for Stanford and I heard that you really like this team and support them, so I thought why not get us some tickets to go to a live game?” 

Christen’s face breaks into a huge smile, even though she’s still confused on how Tobin even knows that she played in College, but she decides not to question it any further. 

She probably just forgot that she mentioned it at some point. 

“I’m so excited.” Christen claps her hands together, “I love this team and I haven’t gone to a game in forever.”

She hesitates slightly, unsure if Tobin will even enjoy the game. “Are you sure you don’t mind that we’re here, instead of doing something more exciting?” 

She knows that Tobin has started planning on how she can improve the girl’s soccer team for next year and has spent a lot of time on that team in particular, but she doesn’t know if Tobin has any relation to soccer and just expected her to look for soccer coaches over the next few months.

“Absolutely. I love soccer!” Tobin’s smile tells Christen that she’s telling the truth. “I used to play - for years - but dropped my scholarship after my freshman year in College, so I could focus on school and my degree. I’ve always been very involved in the sport and my brother is actually a professional soccer player.” 

“Wow, really? I had no idea.” Christen says with a surprised voice. “What team does he play for?” 

“He currently plays for Seattle Sounders FC and the men’s National Team.” Tobin tells her proudly, always feeling so happy that her brother achieved his dream of being a professional athlete. 

“I mean I knew that you took some sort of interest in it, because of how much you’ve been involved with the girl’s team at school, but I didn’t know that you used to play.” Christen continues. “I was aiming to go pro, when I played in College, but I got injured in my senior year and found out that the injury wouldn’t allow me to stay in the sport, so I decided to become a teacher instead. 

Tobin chooses her words carefully, not knowing how sensitive this subject is. “I’m sorry, Chris. That must have been tough and a difficult thing to let go of.” 

Christen just shrugs with an appreciative smile. 

She’s learned to accept this subject a long time ago and whilst it was upsetting for the first few months, she’s grown to love her job and the people she has around her. 

“It’s okay, really. I believe that it happened for a reason and I love where I’m at now - in life and with my career. I wouldn’t change it for the world.” She wants to make sure that Tobin knows she’s okay with this topic and open to talk about it. “Please tell me more about your brother being a pro though. I can’t believe I didn’t know about this.” 

“I guess it neve really came up!” Tobin exclaims before telling Christen a little more of what she wants to heart. “He went pro straight out of high school and has been in Seattle ever since. I don’t really get to see him much now, especially compared to when I lived in Portland, but he always makes an effort to come and visit at least once during the off-season and I get to see him over Christmas, so I can’t really complain.” 

Christen nods, showing Tobin that she’s listening. “That’s nice. I can imagine it must be hard to not see your family very often, but from what you’ve told me, they all seem really kind and supportive.” 

Tobin smiles as soon as she thinks of her family. “Yeah, I’m really lucky.” 

The comfortable silence between them lingers for a short moment, before Tobin speaks up again. “So, I might know quite a bit about soccer, but I don’t know anything about this team. Spill it, Press, what do I need to know? You’ve got ten minutes to fill me in before kick-off.” 

They both laugh before Christen responds. “Hmm, well, the Red Stars are definitely one of the best teams in the league and we’ve had a but of a hard time beating them in the past, but I have a good feeling about today’s game.” 

“One of my friends actually plays for them, so I’ll have to introduce you to her at the end of the game.” Christen suddenly mentions, having temporarily forgotten about that fact, being too busy focusing on her earlier conversation with Tobin. 

“I’m sure they will. They have Christen Press - their good luck charm - here after all.” Tobin winks and Christen feels that flutter in her stomach again. 

Christen was right. Of course she was. 

Los Angeles end up almost winning with a clean sheet, the full time score being a 4-1 win against the Red Stars. 

It was a tough game, but Christen doesn’t think she’s ever seen the Los Angeles goalkeeper look that sharp before. She saved shot after shot, only letting in one for the full ninety minutes, plus two minutes of stoppage time. 

At the end of the game, they make their way down to the bottom of the stands, whilst the players make their rounds - signing jerseys, making short conversations and taking selfies. 

“Hey, can I have your signature please?” Christen smirks, waiting for the player to look up at her. 

“Chris!” The player breaks into a beaming smile, wrapping Christen into a tight hug. “What are you doing here? I haven’t seen you in  _ forever!”  _

Christen laughs, pulling Rachel a little closer. “Rach, I literally saw you less than two weeks ago.” 

“Two weeks too long!” Rachel laughs now too, looking behind Christen. 

Christen looks between the two, taking a step back so she can introduce them. “Rach, this is Tobin. Tobin, this is Rachel - she’s Kristie’s girlfriend.” 

“Oh, that’s why I recognized your name!” Tobin comes to the sudden realization. “Hey, it’s great to meet you. You played really well today.”

Tobin gives Rachel a polite smile. She’s heard the woman being mentioned in conversation between Kristie and Christen a few times, but didn’t put two and two together until now. 

“Nice to meet you!” Rachel returns the smile. “Thank you. It was a tough game, but I’m really happy with the win.” 

A few fans start to shove their way through, trying to get an autograph and grab the players’ attention. Rachel looks between the two. “I’d invite you both for dinner, but my parents are in town, so we’ve already made plans with them. We should definitely catch up soon though.” 

“Yes, for sure.” Christen nods. “Just text me when you’re free and we’ll sort something out. You’re more than welcome to tag along for happy hour again too, you know.” 

Her and Rachel became friends when she started working with Kristie. They met shortly after, when Christen and Kristie’s friendship started to form, and as soon as she was introduced to Rachel, they clicked and found that they have a lot more in common than they expected. 

“I better get going, but it was so good to see you, Chris.” Rachel turns to look at Tobin, “ And It was really nice to meet you Tobin.” 

“You too. I’ll hopefully see you seen.” Christen and Tobin smile at her before turning around and making their way through the group of fans. 

Once they’re out of the stadium and walking back towards Tobin’s car, Christen starts rambling on about the game. She talks the whole time as they start heading back towards the Manhattan Beach area. 

Tobin doesn’t think she’s ever seen Christen this carefree and relaxed before, so she decides to make it her goal to get this side of Christen out more often. 

“What do you say about going to the beach and watching the sunset?” Tobin questions in a hopeful voice, knowing Christen loves sunsets. 

Christen’s eyes light up at the suggestion, being surprised again by just how well Tobin knows her.r “I think that sounds like a perfect idea.” 

It doesn’t take them long until they’re settled at the beach, huddled closely on a small towel. Their legs are pressed against each other, with a small blanket covering both of their shoulders. 

For California temperatures, it was definitely getting colder and Christen let out a small shiver every few minutes before Tobin pulled the blanket out. 

It gives Tobin butterflies, every time Christen’s thigh brushes against her own. 

She wishes she could wrap the younger woman up in her arms and forget about the sunset all together. 

_ Just friends, Tobin. Just friends.  _

They stay huddled up like this, talking quietly until way after the sun has gone down. 

They decide to head back shortly after eight o’clock, knowing that they both have to get up early again in the morning. 

And Christen knows - she just knows - that if they wouldn’t have work in the morning, she’d probably end up staying at Tobin’s place tonight. 

As they pull into Christen’s driveway and Tobin puts her car into park, Christen wraps her arms around Tobin’s shoulders. She pulls her in tightly, taking a deep breath and trying to memorize the smell of Tobin’s perfume. 

“This has been the best day ever! I haven’t had this much fun in years.” Christen emphasises and she pulls Tobin a little closer. “Thank you so so much for today, Tobs.” 

Tobin doesn’t respond.

She just hugs Christen even tighter and holds on for a long moment. 

When they pull back, Christen looks straight into Tobin’s hazel eyes and Tobin would be lying if she said that her stomach isn’t doing internal gymnastics right now. 

Christen’s eyes are the most beautiful eyes she’s ever seen and she thinks she’ll never get tired of looking at them. 

After a short moment, Christen breaks their silence. 

“I have to tell you something, Tobs.” Christen announces as she flashes Tobin a loving smile.

_ Is this it? Did she actually realize that today was me trying to take her on a date? _

_ Does she know that I wanted to see if I could make her fall for me? _

Christen leans in close and Tobin holds her breath, trying to ignore the way her heart is beating faster and faster against her chest. 

She hears Christen whisper in her ear and Tobin tries to focus on what she’s saying, instead of focusing on the feeling of Christen’s hot breath against her skin. 

“Don’t tell Kelley, but you’re my new best friend.” She leaves a quick peck on Tobin’s cheek, before pulling back and opening the car door. 

She doesn’t wait for Tobin’s reply. She misses the way Tobin’s face drops and her eyes will with disappointment. 

Christen turns around, waving at Tobin as she closes the passenger door again. “Bye, Tobs. See you tomorrow!” 

Tobin waits until Christen is safely inside of her house again, before she throws her head back against the seat. 

  
Just being friends with Christen isn't going to be easy. 


	4. Stick To The Status Quo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inside I'm stirring, something strange is occurring.  
> It's a secret I need to share.

Christen is driving home from their weekly Happy Hour on a Friday night, when her mother calls. 

Tobin had a doctor’s appointment that evening, which meant that Christen had gone to Happy Hour by herself - for the first time in a long time. 

Technically, she wasn’t by herself. 

She had at least twenty other colleagues there too, but she didn’t have her usual cheerful, happy and excited Tobin by her side for the whole night. 

As much as Christen still enjoyed her night, she definitely missed the presence of the older woman. 

Now though, her mother is calling her. 

Christen has been avoiding any conversations with her parents, and the rest of her family, lately. To be more precise, she’s been avoiding them ever since she first had the conversation with Kelley about her sexuality.

Her whole family have been supportive and loving for all of her life - especially her parents - so she doesn’t expect this to go any differently, but she still gets nervous whenever she thinks about the conversation she’s going to have with them. 

There is always this little thought lingering in the back of her mind about what would happen if her family doesn’t end up being supportive. 

She doesn’t know what she would do if that were the case. 

Christen knows that she wants to tell them in person, so she has to face them at some point. All of this waiting around probably isn’t doing any of them any good. 

At first, Christen almost decided to meet up with her two sisters and tell them before she tells her parents, but she figures the latter might be more important. 

Christen feels those nerves creep back in when she turns her head to look at the caller ID displayed on the screen in the car. The words  **Mom** are written across it. 

She takes a deep breath, deciding that she’s going to ask her whether they can make some plans for the weekend, and answers the call. 

“Hey, Mom. How are you?” Her voice is a little shaky, so she takes another deep breath and tries her best to ground herself. 

They spend most of Christen’s car ride talking about what’s been going on in Christen’s life recently. 

She hasn’t had the chance to see her parents in almost a month now, so they have lots to catch up on. 

She changes the conversation halfway through the call, asking her mom about her parents’ dogs - Morena and Khaleesi - and how her tennis classes are going. 

As the call slowly comes to a natural end and Christen is getting closer to arriving at home, she knows that she has to set up a time and date for their dinner. She has to stop avoiding this subject and just tell them.

In a small moment of bravery, she decides to just go for it. 

“I was actually wondering whether you and dad are free for dinner this weekend?” Christen bites her lip, waiting for her mother’s response. 

“Yes, of course we are.” Stacy answers easily and Christen can hear the smile on her face. “I feel like I haven’t seen my middle child in forever.” 

They set up a date and time to have dinner, planning it for the next day, and Christen ends the call just as she pulls into her driveway. 

As she climbs out of the car, she decides that she’s going to have to extend her daily yoga routine tomorrow morning, to help ground her before she leaves for her parents’ house. 

Christen didn’t drink at Happy Hour today, knowing that she would have to drive home since Tobin wasn’t there, but she definitely feels like she needs some alcohol in her system now. 

After getting changed, she prepares herself a glass of wine and settles on the couch, deciding to watch an episode of Grace and Frankie, knowing she needs something to cheer her up and make her laugh tonight. 

Christen stays there until she can barely keep her eyes open anymore, deciding that she might as well go to bed now. 

It’s only quarter past nine, but she’s exhausted from her long day and a few extra hours of sleep definitely won’t harm her. 

Just as she gets settled under the covers and is about to turn the small light on her night stand off, her phone starts ringing. 

Christen looks at it with confusion, turning it around and wondering who would be trying to reach her at this time. 

**Tobin Heath**

That is the name displayed on her phone, with a picture that Christen took last week as the background for her contact. It’s a picture of Tobin sitting on the railing by Manhattan Beach. She has her camera around her neck, after unnecessarily insisting that she needs to take pictures, something Christen wouldn’t have desisted anyway. 

Tobin is wearing a grey beanie in the picture, with her black hoodie and black jeans being accompanied by a big smile on her face. Christen loves Tobin’s smile and how contagious it is.

She smiles at the picture before accepting the call. 

They stay up a little while longer, with Christen losing complete track of time, before eventually saying their goodnights and drifting off to sleep with small smiles on both of their faces. 

On the phone, Christen mentions that she has dinner plans with her parents for tomorrow. She has previously told Tobin all about the amazing view her parents have from their house, but she doesn’t have any pictures to show her, so she promises her that she would take one tomorrow. 

Christen knows that she’s getting too tired when she openly admits to Tobin how much she missed her presence and company throughout the night. 

But Tobin just smiles to herself in response, promising Christen that she would be there again next week and telling her that she would have much preferred to spend her night with Christen today. 

\-------

Christen wakes up the next morning to the sunlight shining through the small gap in her curtains. 

She stretches with a yawn, putting the kettle on and making herself a cup of coffee. Afterwards, she gets a start on her daily yoga and meditation routine, something she does everyday to make her feel in control, grounded and ready to start the day. 

After Christen has a chance to eat breakfast, have a long shower and go through some paperwork that she still has to sort out, she starts getting ready to go to her parent’s house. 

Since it’s only their usual and casual dinner, she settles on wearing a pair of black, ripped jeans and one of her red hoodies. 

She gets into her car just after four o’clock, pulling out of her driveway and starting the fifty minute long journey to see her parents. 

Christen doesn’t know what to do or how she’s feeling on the way there. 

Her hands are shaking slightly and she feels the nerves rising inside of her, but at the same time, she feels a sense of reassurance. 

Tonight is the night. 

She’s going to tell them today and not dance around this any longer. And Christen already knows that she’ll have a massive weight lifted off of her shoulders once she’s told them. 

Making her way up the driveway to her parents’ house just after five o’clock, Christen sees her mom opening the front door with a bright and wide smile on her face. 

“My long-lost daughter has finally returned.” Stacy calls out and Christen laughs along easily. 

“It’s not my fault that you guys haven’t moved to Manhattan Beach yet.” Christen jokes, knowing very well that the chance of her parents ever moving out of their current house is down to zero. 

They have a great and fun-filled evening - playing with the dogs, going for a short walk on the beach, eating dinner and talking about Christen’s work. 

Just after they have dinner, Christen is suddenly reminded as to why she’s at their house in the first place. She completely forgot about the whole reason behind her wanting to talk to them, besides wanting to catch up with her parents.

Suddenly, she feels that small pit of nerves building up and rising again. 

_ Just tell them, Christen, it’ll be fine.  _

_ All you have to do is tell them that you like both men and women. It can’t be that hard, can it?  _

They settle down on the small black seats around the fire pit outside, Christen sitting on one side and her parents on the other. 

The sound of the waves crashing against the cliffs at the end of the backyard helps Christen calm down and grounds her. She gazes up at the sky, looking at the stars before taking a deep breath and deciding to just get it over and done with.

“Mom? Dad?” Christen begins, taking another deep breath. “There’s actually something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” 

Her parents nod in her direction, encouraging Christen to continue without interrupting her thoughts. 

“So, I guess I’ve known this for a little while now, but I only became completely certain about it a couple of months ago, so I wanted to wait before telling anyone.” Christen keeps looking between them, trying to gauge their reactions. 

“What is it, Christen? Is there something wrong?” Her father’s voice is filled with concern, causing her to quickly shake her head and clear those thoughts up. 

“No! There’s nothing wrong, I promise, but I guess what I’ve been trying to tell you is…” She bites her lip, deciding to just get it over and done with. “I’m bisexual.” 

Her mother’s eyebrows scrunch up in confusion, at the same time as Christen hears her father’s voice call out loudly. “You’re what?”

He isn’t yelling, but his voice is slightly raised and his tone is harsh and hard, unlike his usual soft voice. 

It makes Christen flinch. 

Her voice is shaky as she answers him. 

She doesn’t think he needs an answer, as it seems to be clear to him what she said, but she’s never seen her father like this. Not at any point in her life. 

“I- I like women and men...romantically.” Christen looks down at her fingers, twisting and playing with the rings she has put on earlier. 

“Hah, yeah, right.” Cody lets out a sarcastic laugh. “Christen, there’s no way you are gay or bisexual or whatever nonsense. You’ve been straight all of your life.” 

Her parents are looking at her as if they expect her to burst out laughing at any moment now. As if she’s about to tell them that it’s all a joke and she isn’t actually being serious. 

When it gets clear to them that she isn’t joking, Christen goes to open her mouth again and try to form any sentence she can. 

“I mean, what even led you to believe this nonsense?” Stacy speaks up before Christen has a chance to say anything else. “Is there someone telling you that you’d never be good enough for a man? Is someone paying you to do this? Is someone forcing you to be someone you’re not?”

Christen feels herself close to breaking, but she tries her best to remain calm and stay strong. 

“No, mom, no one is paying or forcing me to do this.” She forms her sentences with great difficulty. “This is me. The real me. Whether there’s a woman in the picture or not really shouldn’t matter.” 

Even through all of these emotions, Christen feels a small rush of butterflies at the thought of Tobin. But she isn’t going to say anything about her growing feelings, because she has a hunch that they aren’t welcome right now.

Before she can think about those feelings too much, she’s brought out of her thoughts again by her father. 

“We don’t have dykes in this family. You’re not family. If this is the lifestyle you’re going to choose, then you can get out.” Her father is yelling now, looking at Christen with nothing but anger in his eyes. 

Christen’s eyes are filling up with tears that are threatening to spill out, her back of her throat forming a lump. 

“What?” Christen speaks in a weak voice, the hurt being evident in it.

Her mother looks up at her now too, a clear look of disgust written all over her face. 

“You heard, Cody. Now get out before we physically throw you out of this house.” Stacy is yelling now too, something that’s so rare that she almost forgot what it sounds like. 

Christen is frozen in her spot for a moment, trying to process how the unexpected happened so quickly. All she can hear is her father mumbling on about her being a disappointment to the family and how she should be ashamed of herself. 

“Did I not make myself clear? Get out of my house!” Her father’s voice yells again - even louder this time - making Christen jump. 

She gets up, grabbing her phone and purse as quickly as she can and heading straight to the car. 

There is no way she would have survived another minute in that household. At least not without either vomiting or bursting into tears. 

She doesn’t know which of the two she needs to do more right now. 

Christen starts the engine of her car, pulling out of the driveway as quickly as possible, causing her to almost drive into the tree next to the garage in the process. 

She makes her way onto the highway right away, wanting to get home as soon as she possibly can. 

On her way, when it comes to a point of her no longer being able to see clearly through her own eyes, she pulls the car over and starts sobbing. 

She simply can’t stop. The tears won’t stop. 

_ How could my own parents do this to me? My own, loving and kind, parents, who’ve spent their whole life raising me? _

Christen feels herself hyperventilating and so uncomfortable in her own skin, that she’s itching to get out of it. 

She’s just so hurt right now and thought her parents would always love her, no matter what. 


	5. Breaking Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you feel it building?  
> Like a wave the ocean just can't control,  
> Connected by your feeling in the very soul.

Christen is still sitting there, trying to calm herself down again and get her breathing back into a steady rhythm. 

She’d planned on only staying there until she can think clearly again, before continuing to make her way back home. 

In the end though, after pulling back up to the road she was on and beginning the journey back to her house once again, she realizes that she needs someone tonight. 

She can’t be alone. 

She feels the need to feel some comfort and love, in any shape or form. 

She also knows that in her mind, there is only one person who she is thinking one. There is only one person that can make her feel better tonight. 

And she knows, this person won’t have a problem with her sexuality. She knows she can trust this person and tell them the truth. 

This is how she suddenly finds herself driving in the opposite direction of her house. 

Christen only fully registers what she’s doing once she pulls up to the small, white building that has become all too familiar to her since the start of the school year. 

She looks down at her watch and notices how late it is. It’s already past ten o’clock and she wonders if the woman will even open the door at this time of the night. She wonders if the woman is still awake or if she’s even at home, although the car parked in the driveway would suggest that she is. 

She walks up to the front door, taking a moment before lightly knocking on the door. 

It can’t be more than thirty seconds before the front door of the house swings open and she’s met with a familiar face. 

_ Tobin. _

“Christen? What are you doing here?” Tobin looks at her with confusion, but quickly notices her tear stained cheeks and blood-shot eyes. “Are you okay?” 

Tobin takes the obvious answer when Christen doesn’t respond to her question, instead covering her face with her hands and breaking into small sobs. She quickly wraps her arms around the skinny girl’s waist and pulls her into a tight hug. 

“You’re okay, Chris. It’s okay. I’ve got you.” Tobin whispers into her hair, holding her tightly to stop Christen’s legs from giving in and making her collapse onto the floor. 

All Tobin wants to do in the moment is take Christen inside and protect her from anything that might ever hurt her again. 

The sight of Christen sobbing is breaking her heart and she feels so helpless. 

They stand there, in the hallway by the front door of Tobin’s house, for what seems like forever. 

Tobin doesn’t loosen her grip on Christen, instead pulling her just in just a little closer and holding her just a little tighter with every sob. 

When Christen finally manages to catch a breath, she meets Tobin’s concerned eyes. 

“I’m so sorry, I know I shouldn't have just came here like this, especially unannounced.” Christen slowly chokes out. “I can go if you need me to...I just really need you tonight.” 

Tobin runs her hand from the ends of Christen’s hair to her back softly, trying to calm her with her soft touch. “Hey, don’t say that. I meant what I said a few months ago. You are always welcome here, no matter what.” 

Tobin’s voice is soft and calm and everything she needs right now. It’s the total opposite of her father’s cold and loud voice she’d been faced with not long ago. 

Christen smiles as best as she can, trying to show Tobin how grateful she is. 

She rests her head down on Tobin’s shoulder again, nuzzling her face into Tobin’s neck ever so slightly. 

After another minute, Tobin loosens her grip on Christen, moving back and grabbing her hand instead. She pulls her over to the couch, going to sit down as Christen moves as close to Tobin as she can. 

  
She’s almost sitting on Tobin’s lap at this point, but the older woman doesn’t seem to mind. 

Tobin just wraps her arm around Christen’s back and holds her close again. 

“Chris, what happened?” Tobin’s voice is filled with concern, wanting to know how she can help. 

“My parents, my parents they…” That was all Christen manages to choke out before she’s crying again. 

She takes a few moments to compose herself, before taking a number of deep breaths to steady herself all over again. 

“What’s with your parents? Are they okay?” Tobin keeps her voice soft, wanting to give the woman a few moments to compose herself and collect her thoughts. “You went to their house for dinner today, didn’t you?” 

Christen nods, before trying to continue. “I told them something and-” 

“Not so long ago, I finally figured something huge and important out about myself.” Christen starts again, wanting to make sure Tobin understands every word, whilst trying to make her words come out the way she wants them to. 

“It took me quite a while to figure this out and I had  _ a lot  _ of sleepless nights, but one day it finally clicked.” She takes a quick pause and Tobin nods, making sure that Christen knows that she’s still listening. “I kept getting this feeling that I’d never had before and they were similar to ones I had for my ex, but they’re way, way stronger.”

“Long story short, after a lot of thinking and trying to figure myself out, I realized that I’m bisexual.” Christen explains, wiping her silent tears again. “I told Kelley last week and she helped me build up the courage to tell my parents. I thought they’d be the supportive parents they’ve always been. I thought that maybe they wouldn’t quite understand at first, but that they’d love me regardless.” 

“As soon as I told them, my dad started yelling and they kicked me out. He was saying all sorts, from them not wanting dykes in the family to me being a disappointment and that I should be ashamed of myself.” Christen is breathing rapidly again now, trying to steady herself once again. 

“There’s someone - this woman - and she’s amazing. She’s the best person I’ve ever met and she’s better than me in every way. She’s the person I want to tell everything to, the person I feel safest around and the person that can make me laugh like no one else can. Just being around her calms me.” Christen explains, unsure why she’s even going into this much detail. “Everytime I see her, she takes my breath away. I think my heart skips five beats at once whenever our eyes meet and I feel myself falling for her so hard.” 

“I just wanted to tell someone about her. I wanted to tell my parents and to have them be involved in that part of my life, so maybe I could introduce her to them as my girlfriend one day and they could see just how happy she makes me.” She lets out a deep sigh after finishing everything she wanted to say. 

Tobin is taken by surprise. 

On one hand, she wants to throw a party by herself and celebrate the fact that Christen is in fact interested in women too. On the other hand though, she also wants to cry. She wants to cry because Christen’s parents hurt her - her very own family let her down. And she wants to cry because there’s someone else. 

Of course there is. Tobin wasn’t about to think that she stands a chance with Christen.

Tobin pushes her own feelings aside, knowing she has to try and comfort the woman in her arms. 

“Chris, look at me.” Tobin requests, waiting until Christen makes eye contact. “I don’t want you to  _ ever  _ hide who you are - no matter who you’re talking to. It doesn’t matter if it’s your parents, your best friend, a colleague or a stranger, because the Christen Press I know is amazing.” 

“She’s one of the best people out there and anyone would be lucky to have someone like you in their life.” Christen blushes, looking down, but Tobin doesn’t give her a chance to avoid eye contact. She puts a finger under Christen’s chin, lifting it up so they’re eye to eye again. “And please, promise me that you won’t ever apologize for who you are or who you love. You deserve so much love and so much good in your life, and I don’t ever want to see you like this again.” 

“You’re incredible, Chris.” Tobin makes sure Christen knows just how serious she is about every word she just said. 

They stay close to each other on the sofa for the rest of the night, opting to watch the first comedy show Tobin could find on Netflix. 

She might not always be the best with her words or know what to do in these types of situations, but she’s trying. She’s really, really trying to make Christen feel even a little better and forget what happened for even a second. 

And Christen can tell just how much Tobin is trying.

“Come on, you must be exhausted.” Tobin voices when she sees that Christen is about to fall asleep, struggling to keep her eyes open. “Let’s get you a glass of water and then go to bed. You can just stay here tonight.” 

Christen nods, feeling more than tired from all of the crying she’s done over the past few hours. She follows Tobin’s lead, getting ready for bed and using the toothbrush that now has its place next to Tobin’s, for every time Christen stays over. 

Later that night, when Tobin is surely asleep, Christen shuffles closer and wraps her arm around Tobin’s waist from behind, pulling her in closely. 

Even in Tobin’s unconsciousness, she snuggles herself further into Christen and presses their bodies close together. 


	6. I Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the start, got my heart.  
> Yeah, you do.  
> Can't take my eyes off of you.

“Are you ready, Chris?” Tobin wonders from her place on the sofa. 

It’s Happy Hour Friday once again, and Tobin is currently waiting on Christen whilst she adds some final touches to her make up in Tobin’s bedroom. 

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a second.” Christen’s voice echoes down the stairs, suggesting that she’ll probably take another five minutes. 

It has been three weeks since Christen last spoke to her parents. 

Even though these three weeks have, without a doubt, been the most difficult weeks of her life, having Tobin by her side throughout all of it leads to her beginning to think that everything might actually work out. That she might end up being okay.

Tobin has been nothing short of supportive and protective of Christen since that night. 

She’s always there. Whether that’s to hold Christen whilst she sobs on her shoulder; to take her out to fun places and try to take her mind off everything for at least a couple of hours; to answer ever single text, no matter what time of the day it is; to have lunch in the Physical Education office with her, if she doesn’t want to be around others; to take over herr class at work if she’s having a particularly hard day and support her through all of it. 

Most importantly though, she always picks up Christen’s calls. 

No matter what time of the day it is, and no matter where she is, she always answers Christen’s calls. Especially the calls where she’s able to offer Christen her support and words of encouragement. 

Every word that Tobin speaks and every one of Tobin’s actions just reassures Christen even more. 

She wants this. She wants Tobin. 

“Chris.” Tobin whines, checking her time and seeing it’s been four whole minutes. “It’s already ten past. We’re going to be late.” 

“Considering the fact that we’re usually late because of you, I think we’ll be okay.” Christen winks in Tobin’s direction, before turning around and putting her heels on. 

She made an extra effort tonight - for Tobin. 

It’s been a while now since Christen first considered admitting her growing feelings to Tobin and just putting herself out there. She’s terrified to lose Tobin though - petrified even - but deep down, something tells her that even though Tobin probably won’t be able to return those feelings, their friendship might not change all that much. 

Still, she can’t push the thought of losing Tobin because of her unrequited feelings away. 

So she chooses not to say anything and to stay quiet instead. It’s probably for the best. 

\-------

Christen is standing at the bar, waiting on her club soda with lime, as she watches the group from afar. 

Tobin is driving tonight, so Christen decided that it’s only fair that she stays away from the alcohol tonight too. 

She can see Kelley having a conversation with Julie across the room. Tobin is standing next to them, in the middle of a conversation with Alex. 

She hasn’t had a chance to speak to Tobin all that much since they arrived at the bar tonight, and it’s starting to lower Christen’s spirits. She’s used to spending Happy Hour attached to Tobin’s hip, instead of spending time in different conversations with different people. 

She shrugs it off, wondering where this jealousy is coming from. 

Tobin is Alex’s friend after all, just like she’s Christen’s friend. Tobin can speak to whoever she wants to speak to. 

Christen shakes her head, walking over to the free booth in the corner, where she sits down and takes a sip of her drink. 

“You know, you guys are not exactly subtle.” Kelley sits down opposite Christen, smirking at her. 

Christen’s confusion is clear though, as she raises an eyebrow and tries to decide whether this is Kelley talking, or Kelley’s drinks talking. “Huh?” 

“You and Tobin!” Kelley almost sounds annoyed, as if the answer to her question is obvious and Christen is just trying to tease her. 

“What’s with me and Tobin?” Christen is now more than confused. 

When she looked over earlier, Kelley was so deep into her conversation with Julie, that there was no way she could have seen her stare at Tobin for a second too long. 

“Alright, cut the crap, Chris.” Kelley tells her in an unimpressed voice, clearly not recognizing the fact that Christen is genuinely confused. “When were you going to tell me that you guys are seeing each other?” 

“That we’re what?” Christen chokes on her drink, coughing for a moment before catching her breath again. “Huh? Kelley, we aren’t seeing each other. We’re friends and that’s it.” 

“Yeah, nice try, Press.” Kelley shakes her head, acting like she’s still refusing to back down from this. “There is no way that there’s nothing going on between the two of you. Not with the way Tobin’s eyes haven’t left you all night, just like you keep looking over and staring at her every two seconds.” 

“Kelley, I swear there’s nothing going on between me and her.” Christen almost sounds disappointed, causing Kelley to come to a sudden realization. 

“Oh my gosh!” Her jaw drops as she tries to keep her voice down. “It’s Tobin - the woman you were telling me about. You have feelings for Tobin.” 

A blush makes its way onto Christen’s face and she feels herself turning shy, all of the sudden. “It doesn’t matter whether it is or isn’t, Kel. She doesn’t feel the same way anyway and it’s not like she ever will.” 

“Christen has a girl crush!” Kelley gushes, and Christen wishes that her friend would just keep her mouth shut now. 

“But sure, Chris, whatever you say!” She says it so quietly that Christen almost doesn’t hear her above the chatter coming from around them. 

“What was that look for?” Christen questions when Kelley refuses to meet her eye, making it clear to Christen that she’s hiding something from her. Kelley is the worst person at keeping secrets, so it’s pretty easy for Christen to spot. 

“Okay, come on, Kel. Just tell me what you’re thinking about.” Christen urges, tapping her fingers on the table. 

“Ehm, well. I don’t think I am supposed to tell you this, so you better use this information wisely.” Kelley gives Christen an unsure look, but she sees Christen’s hesitant facial expression and knows that she has no way of getting out of telling her this. 

“Tobin most definitely has feelings for you too!” Kelley makes eye contact before continuing. “That woman hasn’t stopped staring at you all night. All freaking night, Chris, and you’re not even standing together.”

“All she ever talks about is you and how amazing you are - especially after she’s had a drink.” Kelley chuckles as she mentally recalls of the times Tobin has talked about Christen before. “She even planned this whole day for you, which might as well have been a super long date. So please, for the love of God, do something about this situation. Just make a move or even ask her out on a date, because it’s more than obvious that she likes you.” 

Christen huffs in response, as if Kelley’s response has been completely unbelievable and pathetic. “If she likes me as much as you say she does, then why hasn’t she made a move yet?” 

“Because she thinks that there’s someone else, Christen.” Kelley rolls her eyes, as if this should have been obvious to the woman. “She thinks there’s this other woman who you are head-over-heels for. If you would actually pay attention to her reaction every time you bring anything related to a romantic relationship up, you could see the hurt in her eyes.” 

Christen is lost in her own thoughts, causing Kelley to wave her hand in front of her friend’s face a few times. 

“But why would she think that there’s someone else?” Christen thinks out loud, trying to recall the most recent conversations she’s had with Tobin. 

Kelley doesn’t know the answer to this question though, so she just sits there in silence, hoping that Christen will be able to figure it out on her own. 

“Oh!” It suddenly hits Christen, “The night I came out to her, I told her there was someone. My head was all over the place and I was scared of losing Tobin as a friend, so I never made it clear that it’s her I was talking about.” 

“But how did you even know that we had that day out? Tobin and I make plans together all of the time.” Christen suddenly questions, still doubting her friend’s words. 

“Because she texted me, Chris.” Kelley gives her a small smile as she recalls the events. “She texted me the night before and asked me what your favorite things are and where your favorite places to go are. That’s how she found out that you like LAFC and that you’ve been wanting to go to the Santa Monica Pier for so long.” 

Christen remains silent for a moment, thinking about it until all of the moments start to add up in her head. 

Maybe her feelings aren’t as one sided as she thought they were, and maybe, just maybe, she really does stand a chance. Even if it’s just a little one. 

But Christen doesn’t want to get her hopes up, so she isn’t going to believe something that may or may not be true. Not unless Tobin does something to confirm these feelings. 

She’s so lost in her thoughts, that she doesn’t notice Kelley leaving the booth and going up to the bar to get another drink. She only notices that the woman left, when she sits back down on the table. 

“So what are we doing to do? What’s the plan?” Kelley urges, taking a sip of her drink. 

Christen is still lost in her own head, sitting there and twiddling her thumbs. “Plan with what?”

“Obviously with Tobin, Chris!” Kelley rolls her eyes, groaning in frustration. “Were you even listening throughout any of that conversation or did every word just go in one ear and out the other?” 

“No, I was!” Christen insists, letting out a deep sigh. “But I do think that this is just wishful thinking. There is no way someone like Tobin would want to date someone like me.” 

That sentence and the already half-empty glass Kelley now has in front of her is all it takes for Kelley to have had enough. 

“Right, that’s it! Come with me.” Kelley tugs Christen’s arm, dragging her over so they’re standing with the rest of the group. 

She gives Alex a knowing look and it takes a second, but then Alex nods, as if she’s finally catching onto what Kelley is thinking. 

Kelley joins the conversation, as if it wasn’t planned, whilst Christen is too busy staring into the distance in confusion. She’s still lost in her own thoughts, once again, when she hears someone call her name. 

“So Christe, from what I’ve heard, it’s been way too long since you’ve got laid.” Alex suddenly approaches the subject, looking over at Kelley with a smirk. “Is there anyone catching your eye tonight?” 

Christen looks at Kelley with wide eyes, silently planning her murder. 

She clears her throat, lowering her eyes down to the floor and answering Alex’s question. “Ehm, no. Not really.” 

“What about the lucky woman you’ve been crushing on like crazy?” Alex wonders, and now Christen knows that Kelley told Alex when she got her drink from the bar. There’s no way Alex could know all of this, so she knows that Kelley most definitely played her part in this. 

The voices around them are too loud for either of the women to hear Tobin’s quiet mutter. “She sure is a lucky woman.” 

A blush creeps its way onto Christen’s cheek and she just shrugs her shoulders. 

“Alright, don’t downgrade your feelings.” Alex crosses her arms and it’s clear to Christen that she has more than enough alcohol in her system too. “Make your move, Chris! Tonight’s the night!” 

Tobin tries to stay out of the conversation and to simply act unbothered, but there’s a lump in her throat and it’s slowly growing, threatening to come up at the same time as her heart breaks just a little. 

As Alex continues to ramble on about Christen’s crush and Kelley decides to join in too, Tobin decides she’s had enough. 

She can’t stand there any longer. 

She thought she could, but she really can’t. 

Tobin quickly places her glass of soda on the side and walks off, too scared to announce that she’s leaving in case her voice breaks the minute she opens her mouth. 

_ I’ll just head out to the car and text Christen that I wasn’t feeling well, but I’ll wait there for her.  _

Tobin knows she can’t leave Christen, and she would never do that, but she knows that she certainly can’t stay in the bar. 

The fact that the bar is extra crowded tonight doesn’t help much either. 

Christen finally lifts her gaze from the floor, wanting to see if she can read Tobin’s facial expression and get  _ anything  _ from it. 

Kelley’s words have been replaying in her head nonstop since they left the booth. 

As Christen lifts her head though, she notices that the older woman’s presence is missing. Her eyes wander around the room quickly, trying to see where she’s gone, when she spots a last glimpse of her before Tobin disappears out of the door. 

Before Christen can even register what she’s doing or about to do, her feet are moving towards the door and after Tobin. 

_ She didn’t seem upset. Maybe she wants to go home? _

_ No, that can’t be it. She would have said goodbye and she’s driving me home anyway.  _

Christen looks around outside, but she can’t seem to spot the woman she’s looking for anywhere. She walks around, trying to spot her, but fails to. 

She decides to walk around the building and to the parking lot, trying to see if Tobin’s car is still there or whether she’d left. 

Much to her relief, Tobin’s Jeep is parked in the same spot as it had been earlier and as soon as Christen moves towards the side of the vehicle, she can spot Tobin sitting in the driver’s seat. 

Christen opens the passenger door and climbs into the car. 

When she looks over at Tobin, her heart instantly breaks. 

Tobin is sitting there - tucked into herself with her knees up and her feet resting on the edge of her seat. There’s a small path of tears on her cheeks, which only become visible to Christen when Tobin looks up to see who just entered her car. 

They lock eyes and Christen can instantly see the hurt and pain written all over her face. 

“Tobs?” Christen’s voice is quiet - just above a whisper - and she doesn’t want to startle the woman. 

Tobin wipes her cheeks, just now remembering that she’d shed a few tears. “I’m sorry. It was just so busy and crowded in there, so I needed to get out and breathe.” 

“You don’t have to apologize, Tobin.” Christen shakes her head, trying to figure out if that is the problem or just an excuse. Tobin has never had a problem with crowds, always being relaxed and making jokes. 

In fact, she’s the one who keeps Christen calm and comforts her when there are too many people around and Christen feels uncomfortable or a little frightened.

“Go back inside, Chris.” Tobin encourages, but her voice falters slightly and it clearly takes all of her concentration to not allow herself to break again. “Enjoy your night. I’ll be here and I’ll wait for you until you’re ready to go home.” 

“I’m not leaving you, Tobin, especially not when you’re crying.” Christen tells her in disbelief. “Do you think you can tell me what’s wrong?” 

“It’s- it’s stupid.” Tobin begins, but Christen cuts her off. 

“It’s not.” Christen tells her and Tobin feels like Christen is staring into her soul. “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable doing so, but maybe you could try? No judgement, I promise.” 

Tobin remains silent for a split second, before taking a deep breath and spilling the truth. “You never told me that the woman you’re falling for is someone from work.” 

It was supposed to come out as a question, but clearly ended up in the form of a statement. 

Tobin thinks that she might be able to halfway survive Christen being in a relationship with someone else, as long as she’s happy and being treated the way she deserves. 

But Christen being in a relationship with someone from work?

That’s something she certainly wouldn’t survive. 

She can’t lose Christen - the person who’s become her best friend and who plays such an important role in her life. 

She wouldn’t survive someone else driving Christen to Happy Hour on a Friday, Christen not staying at her house on Friday nights, someone else to spend their lunch alone with Christen, someone else to hold Christen up when she has a hard day because of her parents again.

Christen’s presence in her life has changed her in so many ways and Tobin doesn’t think she could handle losing all of that. 

“I didn’t think it would matter.” Christen shrugs. Her head feels like it’s spinning and the situation feels so overwhelming. 

“It’s just that…” Tobin begins, until she realizes what she just almost spoke out loud and instead sighs quietly. “Nevermind! You’re right, it doesn’t matter.” 

Christen hums, showing Tobin that she’s listening, but not quite being sure how she should respond. 

“Will you at least tell me who it is?” Tobin requests, unsure if she wants to hear the answer. 

Tobin sounds so vulnerable and fragile. Her voice is broken and it makes Christen’s eyes tear up, because she hates seeing her friend hurting, especially when it’s her fault. 

_ Just do it, Christen. What have you got to lose?  _

The voice in her head is practically screaming at her and she doesn’t know where this sudden spark of confidence has come from. 

Maybe, just maybe, it’ll all work out for once. 

“You know, you’re really oblivious sometimes, Tobin.” Christen begins, but Tobin just looks at her with confusion. “Huh?” 

Christen takes a deep breath. 

Her hands are shaking uncontrollably and she feels the nerves in her whole body, but this is it. She has to do this. 

“Tobs, it’s you. It’s always been you. I felt something for you since the moment I first saw you.” Christen already feels like a weight is being lifted off her shoulders, so she just keeps going. “I’ve been terrified to tell you this, because I can’t lose you, Tobin. I can’t lose our friendship because of my feelings, but I don’t think it’s fair to hide them from you anymore. I’m honestly not even sure why I’m telling you this because I could lose it all right now, but I guess I’m hoping that even if you don’t feel the same, you’ll still want to be friends with me.” 

“Kelley said something earlier that gave me the smallest bit of hope, that maybe you do feel the same, but this is terrifying to me.” Christen locks eyes with Tobin again, trying to get a read of her emotions. “It made me think that maybe this isn’t as one sided as I’ve always thought, but I could be  _ so  _ wrong, so I’m sorry if-” 

Christen is cut off by Tobin’s lips meeting hers. 

She’s been dreaming of this moment for way longer than she would like to admit and it feels nothing short of amazing. 

After the surprise and shock of the contact rushes over Christen, she kisses Tobin back. She kisses her softly but deep and needy at the same time. 

Tobin’s hand comes up to cup Christen’s cheek at the same time as Christen’s fingers lace into Tobin’s hair, keeping her as close as possible. 

The car seats and center control make the angle weird and slightly uncomfortable, but neither of them seem to notice, too lost in each other and the feeling of their lips. 

Tobin thinks that this might be the best feeling in the world and she would feel giddy from the rush of butterflies going through her body, if it weren’t for Christen kissing her with so much purpose that Tobin’s mind halts and goes blank. 

They both pull away after a long moment, completely out of breath, but they don’t seem to care about that right now. They don’t seem to care about anything but one another. 

Tobin keeps her eyes closed as Christen rests her forehead against Tobin’s, both of them just trying to catch their breath again. 

When Tobin eventually opens her eyes, she sees Christen looking at her with a lovingly look in her eyes, biting her lip as her eyes sparkle. 

“I’ve been waiting to do that for so long!” Tobin’s response is still slightly breathless, completely taken aback by how good it felt to kiss Christen. 

She’s been imagining this moment since the first time their eyes met and she knew it would be nothing short of amazing, but never did she expect this. Never did she expect to feel like she’s on top of the world. 

Instead of responding to Tobin’s sentence, Christen pulls back and looks into her eyes for a short moment before closing the space between them again. 

This kiss is more intense than before and there’s no holding back this time, now that they’re more confident with kissing one another. 

Tobin’s tongue makes a small path across Christen’s bottom lip, asking for entrance. 

Christen just deepens the kiss further, as their tongues move together in Christen’s mouth. 

Tobin eventually ends the kiss after what feels like forever. They’re both panting, out of breath from emotions and how good kissing each other feels. Tobin leaves a series of pecks on Christen’s lips before waiting for the other woman to open her eyes. 

“Hey, Chris...would you- would you go on a date with me?” Tobin asks Christen, biting her lip as she waits for a response. 

A big smile appears on Christen's face and she laughs lightly at how nervous Tobin’s tone is, even after she had her tongue down Christen’s throat less than a second ago. 

Christene leaves a soft kiss on Tobin’s lips. “I would  _ love  _ to go on a date with you!” 

In that moment, neither of them think they’ve ever smiled as widely before. 

\-------

“Will you stay with me tonight, please?” Christen’s eyes are soft as she tries her best not to beg, wanting it to be a genuine request and not something Tobin feels obliged to agree to. “If this turns into something, then I want us to do this right and take it slow, so nothing has to happen. We can just cuddle and make out some more.” 

They’re currently parked in Christen’s driveway, having arrived here after spending a good part of thirty minutes making out in Tobin’s car in the parking lot. Eventually, they both decided that it was getting too uncomfortable and set off towards Christen’s house. 

When they got there and Tobin put the car in park, Christen realized that she isn’t ready for Tobin to leave her. 

Not yet and not tonight. 

Not when she just got the woman. 

So here she is, acting as if Tobin is going to need to be begged and hasn’t been having the same thought for the whole drive on the way back. 

They both have big smiles on their face, looking happier and more carefree than they have in a long time. 

In that moment, Tobin realizes that she would do anything to see Christen smile like this and to never see her sad or upset again.

Tobin nods, maybe a little too quickly, before turning off the engine and heading towards Christen’s front door with her. 

They both sit down on Christen’s sofa, wine glasses in hand and talking about anything and nothing. 

After Tobin lets out her third yawn within less than five minutes, Christen gets up and takes Tobin’s hand, leading her to the bedroom. 

They get ready for bed together - laughing and teasing each other the whole time. They bump hips whilst brushing their teeth and grin shyly whilst getting changed. 

Christen is the first one to get into bed, wrapping herself up in the covers and pulling them all the way up to her chin. It’s not long until Tobin comes out of the bathroom, climbing in on the other side of the bed. 

“Tobs?” Christen starts with a small sigh, propping her head up on her fist and facing Tobin. “I really, really, really like you!” 

“I’ve liked you for a while now, maybe even from the moment I met you, and I really want to do this with you.” Christen continues as she tries to think of the best way to word this. She wants to be honest with Tobin and that honesty starts now - especially if she wants them to go anywhere and wants to have an actual relationship with Tobin. 

“But you know about my past relationship and that I haven’t really dated since, so I need to know. I need to know if I am in this more than you are, because it scares me. It scarred me to open up again, but it also scares me because the way I feel about you, is more than I have ever felt about anyone else.” She continues, the words flowing out. “I can’t lose you, Tobs. Not once I have you, but especially not as a friend.” 

Tobin reaches her hand out towards Christen, brushing her hair out of Christen’s face and tucking it behind her ear, before intertwining their fingers. 

“I really, really, really like you too!” Tobin speaks clearly, wanting to make sure Christen holds onto her words. “I think I felt something for you since we met too, but I could have never put it into words back then. I know it’s hard on you and I know it’ll be hard for you to fully commit at first, but I promise you that you will never lose me.”

“I really want this too and we can give it a shot, right?” Tobin makes it sound as if it’s the easiest and simplest thing in the world. “And if it doesn’t work out because we just aren’t meant for each other, then we’ll go back to being friends - no hard feelings. I don’t know about you, but I know that I would rather have us going back to being friends, than never knowing what it’s like to actually be with you.” 

“But what if I screw it all up, Tobin? What if I’m just not made to be loved?” Christen sounds so small that Tobin starts stroking Christen’s fingers with her thumb. 

“I don’t believe that you’ll screw anything up. You’re amazing and if there’s anyone who deserves to be loved, it’s you.” Tobin sounds so sure that it starts to reassure Christen right away. “We’re going to make this work, Chris. As long as you keep telling me how you feel, no matter how big or small your thoughts or feelings are, and I keep telling you how I feel. Do you think you could do that for me?” 

Tobin tends to have this kind of impact on her. 

She instantly makes Christen feel a lot calmer and more relaxed, as if Tobin’s reassurance is the only thing that ever matters. 

“Yeah!” Christen nods, feeling slightly more confident than before. “Yeah, I can do that.” 

“Let’s just take things one day at a time. Don’t stress about something that’s in the future, especially not when everything could be different then anyway.” Tobin suggests, staring so deep into Christen’s eyes that Christen feels like she’s reading every thought. “We don’t know what’s going to happen in a year from now, but what we can do is live in the moment. And all I want to do in this moment is be right here, with you.” 

Tobin lies down, hugging Christen close to her and leaving a soft kiss in Christen’s hair. “I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. I promise.” 

Christen turns, so she’s lying half on top of Tobin. Christen rests her arm on Tobin’s middle section, nuzzling her face into Tobin’s neck so she can breathe in her scent, whilst slotting her leg between Tobin’s. Christen’s full weight is on Tobin, but instead of pulling away, she just pulls her even closer. 

“I will always be here for you too.” Christen nods through a deep breath. “Let’s do this, one day at a time.” 

Christen lifts her head up, leaning down to kiss Tobin’s lips before resting her head down again. “Thank you, Tobs. You’re the best.” 

Tobin almost thinks Christen is about to fall asleep, when she lifts her head up again and leaves another kiss on Tobin’s lips. 

This time, she doesn’t nuzzle her face into Tobin’s neck again though. Instead, she’s looking at Tobin with a smile all over her face and her bottom lip in between her teeth. 

“What?” Tobin chuckles when Christen freezes like that. 

“I’m just so happy that I get to do that now.” Christen kisses Tobin for what feels like the hundredth time, but now that she’s felt Tobin’s lips on hers one, she never wants to feel anything else again. 

“Goodnight, Tobin.” Christen whispers as she tightens her grip around Tobin.

“Goodnight, Chris.” She hears as she feels soft lips kissing her head. 

\-------

They do have their date. 

In fact, they have it that Sunday. 

After spending all of Saturday switching between making out wherever they find themselves, watching whichever movies they find on Netflix and cuddling up on the couch, they decide that they want to spend the full weekend together - living in their own little bubble. 

So Tobin decides to plan their first date for Sunday. 

They spend the day cycling along the beach, going swimming in the ocean and then having dinner at one of the restaurants downtown. Christen and Tobin had both decided that they wanted a relaxing date, so they opted to go paddle boarding instead of surfing. 

They sit out in the ocean on paddle boards during the sunset, talking about the million things they still have to learn about each other. 

Sure, they’ve been friends for a little while now and they know each other better than any of their other friends, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t anything new to learn. Especially now that both of them play a completely different role in each other’s lives.

They share stories about their childhood, growing up and stories about their adult life prior to them meeting. Tobin talks about Portland and shares details about her family, who are all spread out across different states now. Christen talks about college and her soccer days, not really wanting to ruin the night by thinking about her family. 

She always feels so safe around Tobin, almost as if nothing in this world could ever hurt her when the other woman is around.

They eventually walk back along the beach and towards Christen’s house, hang in hand. 

By the end of the night, Tobin is almost completely certain that she’s never smiled as wide as she does when she’s around Christen. 

Both women were reluctant to let each other go that night, but definitely agreed that this had been the best first date both of them have had. 

Tomorrow, it will be back to work and reality. This little bubble that they have lived in over the weekend has been nothing short from perfect and Christen wants nothing more than to ask Tobin if she can stay at her house for a third night, but both of them have agreed that they don’t want to rush into this. 

They were already friends before today, but they want to do this properly and not ruin things by jumping into the deep end. 

In the end, it took Tobin twenty minutes to get from her car door to the inside of her car. 

The reason for that was definitely not because she had Christen pinned up in a heated make out session against the door on the driver’s side of her car, not quite wanting the day to end yet. 

Christen falls asleep in the blink of an eye that night, but not before making sure that she sends Tobin a goodnight text and tells her how much she enjoyed their weekend, already feeling excited to see Tobin again the next day. 


	7. When There Was Me And You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swore I knew the melody that I heard you singing.  
> And when you smiled, you made me feel like I could sing along.

Christen hears the office door open and instantly breaks out into a huge smile. 

She turns her head, speaking in a soft tone. “Hey!” 

“Hey, you.” Tobin returns Christen’s smile.

Christen stands up from her chair, wrapping Tobin up in a tight hug. She nuzzles her face into Tobin’s neck, feeling Tobin’s arms wrap around her waist and hold her close. 

After a long moment, Christen pulls back just enough to see Tobin’s face, linking her hands together behind Tobin’s neck. 

She leans forwards, connecting her lips with Tobin’s. The kiss they share is soft and slow, but neither of them make a move to deepen it any further. 

It’s been two weeks since their first date and Tobin feels like she’s living on cloud nine. 

She’s the happiest she’s ever been and it’s more than clear to see that Christen is too. 

They have had one other date since their first one, as well as spending most of their afternoons together after work. They’ve limited sleeping at each other’s houses for Friday nights, not wanting to move  _ too  _ fast. 

Christen cherises their early mornings together at work though. The moments that happen before any of their students or co-workers arrive. 

She’s recently started arriving even earlier, wanting to actually get some work done and knowing very weel that Tobin is the perfect distraction from that. 

But it’s the perfect combination for her, especially in the morning. 

She can do all of the work she needs to do, so by the time Tobin gets there, Christen can relax for forty-five minutes until everyone else is here too.

After breaking their kiss and pulling away again, Tobin puts her bags down and sits down in her office chair, turning it so she could face Christen. 

Christen has other plans though, walking the short steps over to Tobin’s desk and sitting down sideways in her lap. She wraps her arms around Tobin’s neck again, letting out a small sigh as she leans into her, feeling Tobin wrap her arms around Christen.

“I really don’t have the energy to do anything today. I mean, who thought being a teacher was a good idea?” Christen pouts in her direction, but Tobin knows that her comment is only meant light-heartedly. 

Christen loves her job and the minute she’s around her students, that’s very clear to see. 

“Hmm, I don’t know. It seems like a pretty silly thing to do!” Tobin playfully goes alone with it, looking at Christen with a smirk. 

“I know right!” Christen shakes her head. “What a crazy thing to do!” 

“I know what this crazy person needs right now.” Tobin pokes Christen in her sides, making her giggle. 

“What’s that?” Christen wonders, pulling back a little so she can look at Tobin better. 

“A cup of coffee?” Tobin knows that Christen will never turn down anything to do with coffee, but she asks Christen as if she’s waiting for the correct answer anyway. 

“Damn it!” Christen groans, leaning further into Tobin’s body. “I was you would say a kiss, but I guess a coffee will do too.”

Tobin just smiles in response, not teasing her any further. “Well, I guess a kiss doesn’t sound too bad either. How about having both?” 

“I could definitely do with both.” Christen leans in, pecking Tobin’s lips a number of times before getting up and taking Tobin’s hand into her own. 

“I do need a coffee though!” Christen comments, making Tobin laugh.

They walk side-by-side, discussing their upcoming day, even if they had already spoken about it on the phone last night. 

Christen was so tired last night, that she couldn’t remember half of their conversation anyway. Tobin teased her about falling asleep on the phone whilst they were in the middle of a conversation, but Christen knows that Tobin isn’t actually bothered about it. 

They haven’t told anyone that they are seeing each other yet. They’re both private people and want to keep it their secret for just a little longer. 

Besides, it’s not like they’re anything official yet. 

So far, they have only been on a couple of dates and had more than a handful of evenings which were spent making out, but they still haven’t pushed it any further than that. 

“Here you go!” Christen hands a cup of coffee to Tobin before picking up her own. 

Tobin takes a sip of her coffee, before sitting down on the table. They sit in comfortable silence, just enjoying the last moments of quietness before everyone else will arrive. 

Kelley and Julie walk in shortly after, also making themselves a cup of coffee, before joining Christen and Tobin. They fall into an easy conversation, laughing when a slightly hungover Alex makes her way into the staff room.

\-------

If Christen thought she had a bad start to the day, simply because she was tired, then she was about to experience a whole new level of bad. 

In fact, her day couldn’t possibly be going any worse. 

She’s teaching her ninth graders, when one of the boys start talking about his older sister, who according to him is gay. 

He’s telling his friends that he doesn’t want dykers in the family and that she’s no longer his sister in his eyes, claiming that she’s simply choosing this for attention. 

The group of five are laughing, talking about the LGBTQ+ community and clearly throwing all of the insults they know at his sister. 

Any other time, Christen would have turned her back to it. 

She’s always overthinking, but never does she let anyone else have an impact on her life. 

They don’t know that Christen is listening, of course they don’t, but they just keep going. At first, she expected her blood to boil and for her to get angry, but she’s about to be proven so wrong. 

As it turns out, this wound is still too fresh and open. These words still hit way too close to home, so she’s met with a flashback instead. 

_ “We don’t have dykes in our family. You’re not family. Now get out.”  _

It’s like a broken record, constantly replaying in her mind and she just can’t get it to stop. 

Christen doesn’t think she’s ever been so happy to find out that it’s the end of the lesson. 

She doesn’t say a word as her glass is making their way back towards the changing rooms. Her eyes are filled with tears, so she keeps her head hanging low as she can feel the panic that is slowly building up inside of her. 

Tobin rounds the corner of the corridor to see a class of ninth graders approaching her, seemingly heading towards the locker rooms. 

At the end of the corridor, she can see Christen. 

Christen has a look on her face and the minute Tobin spots it, she knows exactly what it means. She’s seen that look one too many times, when Christen was wrapped up in Tobin’s arms and sobbing into her chest. 

This facial expression is Christen trying to push her emotions down to avoid showing them. 

She tries so hard to push them to the back of her mind, that it’s led to her having a panic attack before, so Tobin knows. She knows right away that she has to get Christen’s attention before she gets lost in her own head and ends up breaking down. 

“Christen!” Tobin’s voice is louder than she intended for it to be, but she doesn’t care. 

“Chris!” Tobin tries again, but Christen just keeps walking. 

Christen is focusing so hard on trying not to cry, that she hasn’t noticed Tobin yet. So she keeps walking, lightly slamming the office door behind her as she lets it fall shut. 

As soon as the door is closed, Christen sinks down in the chair at her desk and breaks down. Her quiet sobs are the only sound in the room and she’s just hoping that no one hears her. 

Of course today isn’t her lucky day though, and she jumps as soon as she hears the door open. 

_ Fuck.  _

Someone walking in and asking Christen what’s wrong is the last thing she needs right now, and God forbid it is one of her students, who’s knock she didn’t hear. She definitely wouldn’t know how to get out of that situation or explain herself. 

Christen is too afraid to look up, so she doesn’t. 

All of the sudden, she feels strong arms wrap around her. 

She feels a hand drawing comforting patterns on her back, whilst the other moves her head onto someone’s chest. As soon as she takes a deep breath, in an attempt to steady her breathing again, she recognizes the familiar scent she’s met with. 

Christen untangles her arms, wrapping them around the figure’s middle section and allowing them to pull her in closer. 

“You’re okay. It’s okay, babe.” Tobin whispers as she runs her hand through Christen’s hair, trying to avoid getting it tangled in the curls. 

They stay like that, holding each other close until Christen’s sobs die down. She lifts her head from Tobin’s chest, looking into her favorite hazel-colored eyes. 

“What’s going on, Chris?” Tobin wonders, kissing Christen’s temple and trying to reassure her that she’s there. 

“I- Sam- Dad-” Christen is stumbling over her words, struggling to form an actual sentence. 

“Hey! Chris...look at me, please!” Christen’s mind is instantly set at ease when she looks into Tobin’s caring gaze. “You don’t have to tell me. It’s okay if you can’t.” 

Christen takes a deep breath, knowing that this is something she wants to talk about. “I do want to, just not now. Can we maybe talk about this later?” 

Tobin nods right away, showing Christen once again just how perfect she is for her and how much she cares. “You can take as much time as you need! I’ll be here to listen whenever you’re ready to talk.” 

Christen goes to respond, but instead hears the noise of students talking and making their way into the locker rooms. 

“Oh, gosh. I have another class now!” Christen suddenly realizes, her words coming out faster than she can think. “I have to get everything set up outside.” 

“Stop! Just take a minute to breathe.” Tobin encourages and Christen does so. 

“What are they doing today?” She asks, even though Tobin knows from the top of her head what the class is doing. She wants Christen to let her mind focus on something else though, so she gets her to answer the question anyway. 

“Soccer.” Christen responds in a small voice. “I was going to do some passing and shooting drills.” 

“Well, lucky for you, I happen to know one or two things about soccer.” She smirks before continuing. “Why don’t you take a moment and I’ll go set something up, so you can come outside once you’re ready? I can stay with you for this lesson too, so you can leave at any point if you need to, okay?” 

Christen nods and Tobin leans forward to leave a soft kiss on her forehead. 

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” Christen sighs, tilting her head to leave a kiss on Tobin’s lips. 

Tobin gives her a wide smile as she reaches for the door handle. “You’re amazing, Chris!”

She heads out to the soccer pitch, setting up a couple of simple and basic drills that she tends to use for the Junior Varsity Soccer Team. 

Christen comes outside shortly after. 

Her tear stains are gone, but her eyes are still a little puffy and if you’re close enough, it’s clear as day that she’s been crying. She takes a few minutes to get herself together, before she goes to stand next to Tobin, who’s currently explaining the drills to the twelfth graders.

As soon as Christen gets close enough, Tobin pushes the soccer ball that is resting under her foot over to the younger woman, nutmegging her so smoothly that Christen wouldn’t have noticed if it wasn’t for the laughter created by the group of students. 

Christen joins in, laughing along and instantly appreciating Tobin’s attempt at trying to make her smile. 

It’s just such a Tobin thing to do - being able to make Christen laugh without having to put any effort in and knowing when she needs it the most. 

_ “Tobin!”  _ Christen whines, rolling her eyes with a smile as she gets closer and comes to a stop next to Tobin. “One day you’re going to trip me over.” 

“What if that’s my aim?” Tobin challenges through a laugh, and yeah, this is definitely cheering Christen up. 

“You’re such a child.” Christen nudges Tobin’s shoulder with her own, but Tobin just gasps, holding a hand to her heart and pretending to be offended by the comment. 

They get back on track afterwards, explaining the lesson to the students and not wanting to take this any further. Both Christen and Tobin have agreed that they have to stay professional at work, especially when there are other people around. 

Not to mention that it’s even worse if students are around. 

So at work, they are simply co-workers. 

At least during lesson time. 

This however, did not stop Christen from trying to nutmeg Tobin for the full lesson, much to the amusement of everyone else. 

\-------

Once Christen manages to reset her mind and focus on something else, the rest of the day seems to fly by and she quickly finds herself towards the end of her last lesson. 

Her students for the last lesson are running track today, as they have a district competition coming up soon. 

In the distance, Christen can see Tobin slowly walking towards her, from where she is standing at the side of the track, with two other students who have recently picked up an injury. 

“Hey, you!” Christen greets her softly, once she is sure that they are out of the earshot of the two students. 

“Hey. How are you feeling?” Tobin wonders, looking her straight in the eye and voicing her concern over Christen’s emotions from earlier that day.

“I’m-” Christen begins with a sigh, unsure how to respond. “I’m alright. I’m better than I was earlier.”

“That’s good!” Tobin nods her head, glad to hear that she’s at least a little better. “Is your lesson nearly finished?” 

“Yeah, five more minutes and then I’ll let them get changed.” Christen comments as she checks her watch, seeing that it’s nearly time to go. “I actually wanted to ask you something.” 

She looks back at Tobin, seeing that the older woman is nodding and trying to encourage her to continue. “I was wondering if you’d be able to come to my place tonight? Or can I come to yours? I want to talk to you about earlier, but I don’t really think that here is the right place to do so.”

“Chris, you don’t have to ask!” Tobin doesn’t hesitate to respond before nodding. “You can come over to mine any time you want.”

Tobin thinks over her schedule for a moment, before continuing. “I have the girl’s soccer team training tonight - for the varsity team - but I’m all yours after. They’re only training for an hour tonight anyway, so if you want to, you can come along and coach them with me Miss Team Stanford Soccer Record-breaker.”

She winks at Christen, making both of them laugh.

“I’d love that!” Christen nods eagerly. 

She’s always loved soccer and she figures that there’s no better way to spend her afternoon than to combine her two favorite things. 

The training goes without a hitch, just as both of them expected. 

Tobin is her usual jokester self throughout the whole training session and Christen doesn’t think she stopped smiling at any point for the full hour. 

After the training is finished, Christen and Tobin pack up all of the equipment and lock it up safely, heading towards the office afterwards to gather all of their things and head out. 

It’s a short twenty minute drive to Tobin’s house, so they settle on going there for the evening. Tobin orders them a Chinese take-out on the way, knowing that neither of them are in the mood to start cooking tonight.

Once both of their cars are parked in Tobin’s driveway, they make their way inside. 

They both get changed into a pair of sweatpants and hoodie from Tobin, wanting to be comfortable for the rest of the night. Besides, Christen would neve turn down a chance to wear Tobin’s clothes, loving the way they carry Tobin’s comforting scent. And Tobin certainly doesn’t mind, as she loves seeing Christen in her clothes more than she’ll ever admit. 

Their food arrives just in time of them going back down the stairs, getting ready to settle down on the sofa and eat there. 

They eat in a comfortable silence, leaving small comments in between, but both of them just want to relax and it gives Christen an opportunity to gather her thoughts.

“So, uhm, about today…” Christen begins, trailing off and feeling a slight sense of nerves. 

“You can take your time, okay?” Tobin offers, knowing Christen is going to need a while to gather her thoughts as she speaks and ensure that her words are phrased the way she wants them to be. “There’s no rush and you only have to share as much as you want to.” 

Christen nods as her hands fiddle with the strings on the hoodie she’s wearing. 

“So, I was teaching the ninth graders today and Sam, one of the boys in the class, started talking to his friends about his older sister.” Christen is visibly starting to get herself worked up again, so she takes a deep breath as Tobin reaches out for her hand, also trying to calm her. 

“He mentioned that his sister is gay, and he started calling her a dyke and mentioned that he doesn’t see her as his sister anymore because who would want a gay sister.” She’s stumbling over her words and they’re coming out in broken sentences, but Tobin can easily piece them together. 

It boils Tobin’s blood, to think that people are this cruel and feel the need to be homophobic, but she knows that getting upset about it won’t help Christen right now. 

Instead, she puts her plate on the small coffee table and pulls Christen closer, so she can wrap an arm around her.

“This probably sounds really silly and I’m sorry. I know he’s only a ninth grader and it shouldn’t mean anything, but it just reminded me of everything my dad said to me that night, so I couldn’t help but get upset by it.” Christen takes a deep breath, stopping herself from crying all over again. She’s done enough of that for the day. 

“It’s not silly. You have every right to be upset about it and of course it’s going to hurt you. This isn’t something that you can just get over and forget about.” Christen hears Tobin’s soft voice speaking up again, continuing from what she’s saying. “But please don’t ever think that people have the right to judge you based on who you are and who you love. Your sexuality is your business and no one else’s - you can choose to let people in on that, but how much you share and who’s allowed to have an opinion on it is up to you. That’s for you to decide.” 

“The only thing that matters is that you’re happy and if people can’t support that, then they aren’t worth your time because they don’t deserve you.” Tobin’s voice is so confident that it makes Christen hang onto every word she’s saying. 

“Tobs, I like you so much.” Christen lets out through a deep breath. “You mean a lot to me.” 

Christen feels her eyes begin to tear up again, but this time it isn’t out of anger and sadness. This time, it’s because of how appreciated she feels by Tobin and how loved Tobin makes her feel. 

_ Loved.  _

That’s a word Christen could get used to again. She can picture herself loving Tobin in the future. 

She knows it’s way too early to start thinking about being in love with Tobin, but she knows that she’s slowly starting to fall more and more, which proves to her that it won’t be all that long before she actually falls in love with the woman. 

Tobin never fails to make Christen feel cared for and all of it feels a little crazy to her. 

After all, they’ve only been on two dates and haven’t even labelled their relationship as anything official yet, so she’s going to keep all of the thoughts on their future at the back of her mind for a little while longer. 

“You mean a lot to me too.” Tobin kisses the tip of Christen’s nose, earning a laugh from the woman. “And for the record, I like you even more.”

The emotions from the day have worn Christen out, but she doesn’t want to leave the comfort and safety of Tobin’s presence quite yet. So when Tobin asks if she wants to spend the night at her place, Christen nods right away. 

She always keeps spare sports clothes for work in her car anyway and Tobin is more than willing to offer Christen something to wear if she needs it. 

Christen lies in Tobin’s bed that night, wrapped up in Tobin’s arms - her safe place. 

Tobin is rubbing her back as she slowly drifts off to sleep, and when Tobin is sure that Christen is fast asleep, she places a kiss on the top of her head, before pulling her in a little tighter and also going to sleep. 

They both sleep peacefully that night, knowing that they are going to be just fine, as long as they have one another. 

\-------

Their week ends up more stressful than Tobin had expected. 

The weather conditions mean that some of her training sessions have to be cancelled and rearranged, as well as Julie coming down with an unexpected illness for half of the week.

The normally relaxed and chill Tobin, who goes along with anything and anyone, is stressed out of her mind this week. 

She’s trying to juggle all of Julie’s classes, organize the upcoming soccer fixtures, coach the weekly soccer training sessions and rearrange the ones that had to be cancelled.   
  


Christen has offered her help more than a few times, but Tobin declines it every team. 

She’s thankful for the offer, she really is, but she knows that Christen has more than enough work to do on her own and doesn’t need even more on the plate by helping Tobin. 

Her workload means that all of her mornings are spent working the whole time, instead of going to grab a coffee and then spending some time talking to the other teachers. 

Christen tries to help Tobin relax just a little, by going to make her a cup of coffee as soon as she arrives and bringing it back to the office, where she stays to do some work and offers Tobin some company, even if both of them are busy and focused. 

They don’t get to see one another all that much during that week, so Christen wants to do something special for Tobin to finish the week off. She asks Tobin on their third date for Friday night, and both of them agree that missing one Happy Hour isn’t going to be the end of the world. 

Not if they have each other and go on a date instead. 

Christen picks Tobin up from her house on Friday morning, meaning she can just drive them both after work. 

She knows that Tobin will just want to switch off as she’ll have reached a point of exhaustion by that point, so she settles on a stereotypical date night at the movies. 

Christen had heard Tobin talk about a specific film that she’s been interested in for over a month now, but she knows that Tobin hasn’t had a chance to go yet and originally wanted to ask Christen if they can watch it together. 

The movies are relatively close to Christen’s house, so they drive to her house after work and get ready there. 

Going on walks by the beach and spending time together in the sand, under the Californian sun, is something that feels like it’s become their thing. Whenever they have some free time together, they explore different parts of California that aren’t too far away or simply take walks in the sand. 

They set off early, wanting to walk into town and watch the sun set, strolling through the streets hand-in-hand and making quiet conversation.

Tobin ends up loving the film and much to Christen’s surprise, she does too. 

She hadn’t heard of it before Tobin started mentioning it and predicted that it wouldn’t particularly be her type of movie, but she really enjoyed it. 

Christen insists on taking Tobin out for dinner afterwards, which didn’t take any convincing. 

They find a small local restaurant to go to, where they find a table to sit down at in a secluded corner. 

Christen is in tears of laughter whilst Tobin recalls some of her favorite childhood memories, after discussing high school soccer and their favorite part about it. Christen mentions that she’s had thoughts on potentially starting to play in the local rec league, but she hasn’t found the time to yet. 

When Tobin suggests that they should go to the soccer field near Christen’s house tomorrow and play a little, Christen gives her an eager nod. She still has an old soccer ball in her garage and she’d love to take it out again. 

After they eat dinner and share a dessert, Christen asks Tobin if she wants to stop at the beach on their way back and Tobin wasn’t about to decline a walk through the sand.

It’s cold, a lot colder than Southern California normally is, but then again, it is reaching the end of November and even Los Angeles can’t keep up with the summer heat.

Christen intertwines her fingers with Tobin’s, dragging the older woman up the steps and back onto the pavement, towards the wall at the side of the path. 

Christen sits down before Tobin, patting the space next to her and waiting for Tobin to sit down too. 

They sit in comfortable silence and listen to the waves crash, before Christen scoots even closer to Tobin and rests her head on the dirty blonde’s shoulder. 

“I’m so lucky to have you!” Christen lets out a content sigh. She still can’t quite believe that her feelings are mutual and that Tobin likes her back.

“Isn’t it crazy that we’ve only known each other for such a short time and yet I can’t imagine my life without you anymore.” Tobin gently rests her head on top of Christen’s. “And I don’t think I ever want to. My life is so much more fun with you in it.”

“I don’t either.” Christen smiles widely, giving Tobin’s thigh a loving squeeze. “You mean so much to me already.” 

Tobin lifts her head and gives Christen a light nudge, asking for her attention. Christen gives her a curious look, raising one eyebrow. 

“Chris, will you be my girlfriend?” Tobin doesn’t know why she’s nervous. It’s not a secret that they both have a passive soft spot for the other and they are more than aware of it, which leads to them having small declarations like these all of the time. 

“Tobin Heath wants to be my girlfriend?” Christen fake gasps, trying to act surprised.  _ “The  _ one and only Tobin Heath wants to be in a relationship...with me?” 

Christen tries her best to hide her smile, but she fails massively and pulls Tobin into a soft and lasting kiss instead.

When she pulls back, Christen mumbles against Tobin’s lips. “I would  _ love  _ to be your girlfriend, Tobs.” 

Tobin has such a big smile on her face, that her cheeks start hurting, but it instantly makes Christen smile too. 

Before Christen has a chance to say anything else, Tobin is pulling her back into a kiss. 

The kiss is faster this time, and more intense and desperate. 

They stay like that for what feels like forever, tongues moving in sync in Tobin’s mouth. Their hands start to wander after a long moment, trying to find small bits of exposed skin to touch and feel under their fingertips. 

“I want you so bad, Chris.” Tobin whispers in her ear. 

Christen groans in response, feeling more than turned on. 

She knows that they are ready for this and she doesn’t think she can go another second without having Tobin, so she decides to take the lead. 

“Please take me home,  _ girlfriend.”  _ Christen chuckles and Tobin doesn’t hesitate before pulling Christen onto her feet, so they can make their way back towards Christen’s house. 

They make it there in record time. Christen pulls out her key and quickly lets them in before locking the door behind her again, knowing she’ll likely forget if she doesn’t do it now. 

It only takes a split second before Tobin has Christen backed up against the door - her hands sitting low on Christen’s back and urging closer to their target. 

When Tobin’s hands roam down to settle on Christen’s ass and squeeze it tightly, Christen picks herself up and wraps her legs around Tobin’s waist. 

Tobin carries the two of them to Christen’s bedroom, lips never detaching from each other’s. 

Tobin softly lowers Christen onto the bed, trying to be gentle, but Christen doesn’t give her a chance to as she flips them over before Tobin could even move on top of her. 

Christen doesn’t waste any time before straddling Tobin’s hips and brushing the hair out of her face, quickly tying it up into a messy bun. 

Tobin’s hands make their way higher and higher under Christen’s top, before finally discarding it completely. Christen quickly pulls Tobin’s top over her head too, before moving down to undo the buttons on her jeans. 

She pulls away for a split second, hands on the waistband of Tobin’s jeans as she looks at her, silently asking for permission to take them off. 

Tobin nods and that’s all Christen needs before she gets to work again. 

She moves her lips down to Tobin’s neck, kissing and sucking on her pulse point, whilst having a tight hold on her hips. 

“Fuck, Chris. I need you to- I need- I need you to be naked.” Tobin stutters her way through the sentence. 

Christen would tease Tobin or make her do the work herself, but she’s too turned on to think about anything else right now. Instead, she quickly pulls away and gets up, unzipping her own jeans and throwing them on the floor. 

She goes back to the original trail of kisses she’d started on Tobin’s neck. 

After a moment, Tobin moves her hands further up and silently asks for permission to undo the strap of Christen’s bra. Christen lifts her head to nod, before moving her lips up to Tobin’s again. 

She lets her tongue dance in Tobin’s mouth whilst Tobin is busy unclasping the metal hooks of the bra. 

Once the bra has been discarded and is lying on the floor next to Christen’s bed, Tobin flips her and Christen over, causing the younger woman to squeal. 

She makes her way down Christen’s bare chest, taking Christen’s left nipple into her mouth and sucking on it lightly, whilst her fingers gently flick her right one. 

After a moment, Tobin continues her path down to her target. 

She kisses her way down Christen’s stomach, skipping her most sensitive area and starting a path down one of her thighs before doing the same on the other. 

Tobin continues to tease Christen, redirecting her attention, just before she decides to give Christen even a little relief. 

“Tobin! I need you, please.” Christen feels like she’s going to scream. 

Tobin spreads Christen’s thighs slightly further apart, grabbing them tightly and sticking her tongue out to firmly run it through Christen’s folds. 

Christen moans loudly at the feeling, throwing her head back.

“You’re so wet.” Tobin whispers, but all Christen can do is nod, before she bucks her hips up in search for more. 

Tobin plants a light kiss on Christen’s folds, before running her tongue through them again, taking Christen’s clit into her mouth and sucking on it. 

“Oh, fuck.” Christen bites her lip. “Tobin, that feels so good.” 

Tobin continues this pattern, feeling encouraged by the stream of moans coming out of Christen’s mouth. 

They settle into a steady rhythm, Christen bucking her hips up into Tobin as Tobin’s tongue works its way through her folds. 

Tobin’s lips eventually find Christen’s entrance, where her tongue slowly slides into Christen, making her movements firmer and faster every time. 

Her right hand is still playing with Christen’s nipple, as she moves her free hand towards Christen’s clit. 

Tobin makes a small circle around it, before flicking it. 

Christen is getting closer and closer to cumming and Tobin can tell by her moans. 

She continues her action on Christen’s clit three more times, but that’s all Christen can take before coming undone. 

“Tobin! I’m gonna- I’m- Fuck.” Her sentence is cut off by her orgasm, as Tobin helps her ride it out and gradually starts slowing her movements. 

Once Christen’s breathing is starting to steady again, Tobin kisses her way back up Christen’s body, before leaving a sequence of kisses on her neck. 

Christen pulls Tobin back up so their lips meet, kissing her softly. 

She can taste herself on Tobin’s tongue, causing her to release a small moan, which instantly has an impact on Tobin. 

Christen rolls them over, moving to straddle Tobin now. 

She bites her lip at the sight of Tobin, taking a minute to admire her, before unhooking the older woman’s bra. 

“You’re so hot!” Christen licks her lips, looking down on Tobin’s bare chest and watching the effect she has on the woman. 

Christen’s right hand trails its way down Tobin’s body, but her left hand stays in Tobin’s hair as her lips move in time with Tobin’s. 

“I want you so bad, Chris.” Tobin husks out, wanting more from Christen. 

She lets her hand move further down, travelling down to Tobin’s center and keeping it there. 

Tobin is panting by now, desperate to feel Christen. 

“I need to feel you, please.” Tobin urges, almost crying out. “I need you inside me.” 

That’s all it takes for Christen to stop teasing her and run her fingers through Tobin’s folds, before pushing them inside her. 

Tobin chucks her head back, moaning at the feeling. 

Christen starts moving her fingers in and out of Tobin, starting slowly but picking up her pace, her palm adding pressure to Tobin’s clit with every thrust. 

“Fuck!” Tobin moans a little louder this time and she doesn’t think she’s ever been so turned on before, in her life. “Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop.” 

Christen moves further down the bed, lowering her head and taking Tobin’s clit into her mouth. 

She sucks on it lightly, continuing her thrusts at a steady pace. After a few more thrusts, Christen releases Tobin’s clit, before flicking it with her tongue. 

That’s all Tobin needs to cum. 

Her wetness is running down her thighs, as Christen removes her fingers and runs her tongue through Tobin’s folds instead. 

“You taste so good.” Christen almost moans the sentence, knowing that she’s too tired to go again, but that they’ll definitely have another round before the sun rises. 

She crawls her way back up the bed, brushing the baby hairs from Tobin’s forehead with her finger. 

Tobin slowly opens her eyes again, leaning up to peck Christen’s lips. 

“That was amazing, babe.” Tobin hums with satisfaction, pulling Christen on top of her. 

Christen wraps her arm around Tobin’s middle section, slotting her leg between Tobin’s. Her head finds its usual spot in Tobin’s neck and the older woman hugs her tightly. 

“We’re going again once I wake up.” Christen speaks through a tired hum, letting one of her eyes close as she slowly drifts off to sleep. 

Tobin just lets out a small chuckle, kissing Christen’s head and letting her hand rest on Christen’s bare back. 

And it might have been Christen’s first time sleeping with a woman, but she knows that she just had the best sex of her life. 

Just before drifting off to sleep, she realises that for the first time in her life, she didn't feel obliged to have sex and it didn't feel forced. 

  
  



	8. Work This Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll make things right,  
> The sun will shine.

“Are you sure Chris? I really don’t think this is a good idea.” 

  
  


“Yes, Tobs. I’ll be fine, I promise. Now go, before you miss your flight”, Christen was trying to shoo her girlfriend away from her and towards the gate of her flight that she was supposed to be bordering in fifteen minutes. 

  
  


“You could always come with me?” Tobin raises an eyebrow.

  
  


“You know I would love to meet your family, but first of all it’s two days before Christmas so there is no way this flight isn’t fully booked, and second of all you rarely get to see your whole family at the same time. Now please go, before you have to pay double as you missed your flight.” 

  
  


Tobin hesitantly agrees, still feeling unsure. “Okay, fine. I’ll miss you.” She almost pouts, making Christen laugh. Christen gives her a quick peck on the lips, those three words running through her mind, which she quickly pushes away again. “I’ll miss you too. Text me when you land?” Tobin nods, agreeing easily before grabbing her bag and walking off after giving Christen a tight hug. 

  
  


Tobin was flying out to Florida over Christmas to spend time with her family. After her parents retired a year ago, they decided to make the move from New Jersey to Florida, where they now own a beach house. Her whole family would be there together - her brother and his girlfriend; her oldest sister, her husband and their daughter; and her other sister, her husband and their two sons. It was difficult to get them all together at the same time, since they live all over the states, so Tobin always feels that Christmas and New Year’s together were extra special. Jeff lives in Seattle, her parents in Florida, Katie in Arizona and she lives in California now. This left only Perry and her family in their hometown in New Jersey. It was fair to say that they were scattered across the different states, which is why all of them made an extra effort for Christmas. 

  
  


She didn’t want to leave Christen in California, worried that Christen would get upset on Christmas Day or spend it by herself. Tobin even offered to cancel her flight and stay in California, even if she knew Christen would never accept the offer. 

  
Tobin was happy about going home, she was always happy about that, but she couldn’t help but worry about the brunette. 

  
  


**Tobs :** Boarding now. I miss you already. 

  
  


Christen smiles at the text, taking a sip of her steaming coffee and putting the car into drive. 

\-------

  
  


Seven and a half hours later, Tobin finally lands in Panama City. It’s not like she could complain about the long flight, having slept for the majority of it and waking up just in time for landing. The other part was spent looking through pictures and memories on her phone. She smiled fondly at a picture of her and Christen at the beach, setting it as her lock screen on her phone before continuing to look through the pictures. There'd been so many moments Christen and her have captured over the months - pictures when they were in the outside world together, videos of one or both of them goofing around, and random pictures of them together at home. 

  
  


She found videos from her niece, Ellie, taking her first steps and her youngest nephew, Kayden, saying his first words. Moments like those makes her wish more than anything that they all lived closer together. That she could drive to their house after Perry had FaceTimed her to say that Kayden had just said his first words or seen Cole on the morning of his first day at school. Tobin’s thoughts drift back to Christen when another picture of them came up and she found herself feeling even more grateful that her family was so kind and caring, never being able to image her family leaving such hateful comments towards her. 

  
  


_ Maybe I’ll tell them about Christen on this trip? I wanted to do it in person after all. I’ll do it after Christmas and after all of the craziness is over.  _

  
  


Tobin has always been a very private person, even when it came to her family members or closest friends. She was surprised right away at how easily she can open up to Christen and that's why it didn’t take her long to discover those blossoming feelings of something more than friends.    
  
  
Their relationship was still relatively new. Even if they were friends before and started seeing each other romantically for nearly a month prior to them officially putting a label on it. It had been five and a half weeks now since Tobin asked Christen to be her girlfriend and they were still living in their own little bubble. It wasn’t that either of them were ashamed by the relationship or didn’t want anyone to know, but they wanted time to navigate their relationship and connect without the opinions of others. They just simply saw it as what it was - their relationship was their business and no one else's. They’d tell people when they were ready, if they hadn’t already figured it out by then, but for now they were content to just spend time with each other. 

  
  


**Chris :** Have a safe flight, baby. I miss you already too. 

  
  


Tobin smiles and opens the thread of texts before typing out a new one. 

  
  


**Tobs :** Good morning, gorgeous. My flight just landed and I’m at baggage claim now. 

  
  


**Chris :** Morning :) How was it? 

  
  


**Tobs :** Good...I slept for most of it. 

  
  


**Chris :** Of course you did. I wouldn’t have expected anything else.

  
  


**Tobs :** You know it ;) I’m just waiting for Jeff to pick me up now, text you later?

  
  


**Chris :** Have a good time, baby. Call me tonight when you get a chance to?

  
  


Tobin quickly agrees, replying to Christen's message and then heading out into the warm Florida air. She hears a car honk at her, turning her head to find her brother waving at her. He climbs out of the car and opens the trunk, grabbing Tobin’s luggage and easily placing it inside. 

  
  


“Tobyyyy!” Tobin rolls her eyes and smiled at the nickname, watching as he laughs at her reaction. 

  
  


“Toby? Really? You do know I’m 26 now, right?” She pulls her brother into a tight hug. 

  
  


Jeff shrugs his shoulders, “You’ll always be Toby to me.”

  
“I hope not!” Tobin mutters under her breath before opening the passenger side door. She laughs when she sees Jeffrey’s glare towards her, clearly having heard her statement. 

  
  


The two siblings hadn’t seen each other in almost a year, having a lot to catch up on, and Tobin loves to talk about Jeffrey's soccer career with him. They spend the forty-five minute car ride singing along to their favorite childhood songs and talking all about his league and the National Team. 

  
When Tobin’s parents moved out to Florida, they had bought a house on Grayton Beach. It was at the side with no neighbors, almost like a private beach. The six bedroom house was big enough to fit everyone in their family in, making it the ideal place to meet up over the holidays. This way they could all spend the full time together, without having to stay at hotels spread around the city. 

  
  


Tobin’s flight was the last one to arrive, as the rest of her family had all decided to meet up a week earlier. She’d stayed in California until now, wanting to spend some quality time with Christen too and feeling bad about having to leave her over the holidays. 

  
  


When the duo arrives at Tobin’s parents’ house, she is greeted warmly and quickly makes her way around to group and hugging everyone. Tobin spends her evening playing with her niece and nephews and then joined the rest of the family once they got too tired.

  
  


\-------

  
  


**Tobs :** Merry Christmas, babe. 

  
  


**Chris :** Merry Christmas, Tobs. I miss you. 

  
  


Christen drops her phone onto the mattress with a sigh, rolling over onto her back. She rubs her eyes, attempting to get the sleep out of them and trying to wake herself up. 

  
  


She eventually drags herself out of bed, opening the curtains and getting a head start on the day with her daily yoga routine. Once she feels grounded, more awake and has showered, she heads downstairs again to make herself a cup of coffee and start making something for breakfast. 

  
  


Whilst she walks into the kitchen, she suddenly freezes when she sees the beautifully wrapped present on her kitchen island. It's wrapped in red and gold Christmas wrapping paper, with the name ‘Tyler’ clearly displayed on the tag. 

  
  


Christen sits down, burying her face in her hands and just taking a deep breath. 

  
  


_ Would Tyler want to see me? I mean Mom and Dad have had over two months now, clearly they must have realized that their reputation isn’t worth losing their daughter.  _

  
  


She pushes the food she'd prepared away, suddenly not feeling hungry anymore. 

  
  


_ They’re both as stubborn as I can be, so maybe they’re just waiting for me to reach out? It’s Christmas and they love Christmas, so they might be in a good mood today.  _

  
  


Christen tries to decide if she is being silly and giving herself false hope or if she has a valid point, so she stands up and quickly clears the rest of her food away before starting to clean the house. It was something she’d always done since she was little. Whenever she was feeling stressed or anxious, Christen would simply clean whatever room she is in and distract her mind. As she grew older and she had bigger problems than simply not being able to find her toy, she'd started to clean her whole house instead, keeping herself and her mind occupied for longer. 

  
  


Halfway through cleaning her living room, she lets herself drop onto the sofa. She was planning on only closing her eyes for five minutes, but Christen wakes up in shock when she realizes that it is in fact already midday and this was the time of when she would usually arrive at her parent’s house. 

  
  


_ Screw it. What have you got to lose? They’ve already yelled at you once. It can’t get much worse than it is, can it? _

  
  


Christen doesn't let herself think it through any further. She grabs the presents that are lying on her kitchen island and quickly runs up the stairs to grab the other three. Before she has even registered what she is doing, she pulls up behind her sister’s black BMW in her familiar childhood driveway. 

  
  


_ What am I even doing? Is this a good idea?  _

  
  


For a flash of a moment, Christen almost turns back around. She didn’t feel like her decision was as thoroughly thought through as it should be, but she ends up going along with it anyway. 

  
  


_ You haven’t got anything left to lose.  _ _  
  
_

Christen knocks on the door, exhaling deeply and praying that it would all go well. Her nerves were rising back up and her hands were shaking a little, making her focus on her breathing in a weak attempt to ground herself. She holds a small bag with presents for each of her family members in her left hand and a bouquet of flowers in her right.    
  
  
The door swings open only a short moment later and her older sister throws herself at Christen before she can even blink. 

  
  


“Merry Christmas Chris. I thought you bailed on us for a second when you hadn’t turned up yet.” Tyler chuckles, “I know you’ve been busy, but you know you can pick up my FaceTime calls every once in a while.” 

  
  


Christen feels a sudden rush of guilt flow through her. This whole time, she'd been expecting her siblings to have the same opinion on this situation as her parents and she didn’t expect them to want to talk to her. Sure her older sister had called her a few times, but she was too afraid for the situation to repeat itself so she ignored the calls every time, not wanting to lose her sisters too. Now though she's realizing that she may have assumed wrong and that it was silly of her not to answer her sister’s calls. 

  
  


Tyler must have noticed the guilt across Christen’s face, as she quickly adds to her statement before ushering Christen inside. “I’m only joking. I’ve missed you." 

  
Christen almost thinks she was in the clear, almost believes that everything is fine, until she rounds the corner into the living room and hears her father's voice. 

  
  


“Who was it Ty?” She hears her dad’s voice echo.  _ Oh, they really didn’t expect me to turn up.  _

  
  


Christen stops in her tracks, taking a small one back.  _ Maybe I should just go. I think this was a bad idea.  _ Her head is spinning at the many thoughts running through it, unsure of what her next move should be. 

  
  


Tyler turns around in confusion when she realizes that Christen is no longer next to her, instead seeing her a few steps behind. “You coming?” Tyler asks her and Christen finds herself nodding along, unsure of what to say to get out of this situation. 

  
  


“It was Chris. Who else was it supposed to be Dad?” Tyler laughs lightly, trying to think of who else her dad could have been expecting on Christmas Day. 

  
  


“Christen?” Her mother wonders in an uncertain tone, clearly not having expected Tyler to say that name. 

  
  


Christen starts nervously fidgeting with her hands, not daring to look up at any of them. “Um...hey.” She mutters in a quiet voice.

  
  


Her father joins the conversation with a stern voice when he sees them. “What are you doing here?” 

  
  


“Ehm, it’s Christmas?” Channing throws a confused look at Tyler, trying to understand what her father was getting at. Tyler nods in agreement, “Where else was she supposed to be?” 

  
  


Stacy scoffs and leaves the room, heading towards the kitchen and ignoring what just happened. It was clear that she didn’t want to deal with the situation and was leaving it up to Cody. 

  
  


“I thought I made myself clear when I said you weren’t welcome here.” Cody’s cold voice sends a shiver through Christen’s body, making her even more nervous. He folds his arms and for the second time in her life, Christen feels truly afraid of her parents. 

  
  


Christen nervously holds her breath, trying to think of a response. “I-, I-, I just-.” 

  
  


Channing and Tyler stay rooted in their spot. A mix of confusion and shock is clearly written across their faces, but Christen doesn't have it in her to look them in the eye. Instead, she opts for burning a whole into the floor with her gaze.

  
  


Stacy choses that moment to come back in, “Oh, you’re still here?” 

  
  


Christen hasn’t even processed the words before Cody speaks up once again. “I thought I was clear enough last time but I obviously thought wrong, so let me make myself very clear this time. You are no longer a part of this family, Christen. I don’t care what you do or where you go for Christmas, but it isn’t here. Understood?”

  
  


She suddenly feels like she was five years old again and her father was yelling at her for stealing some candy. Reality hits her quickly - faster than she could anticipate. She isn't five years old anymore and she isn't being told off for stealing candy. It’s twenty years later and she’s being yelled at for  _ being herself.  _ And that’s what's hurting her the most.

  
  


Christen nods quietly in response. 

  
  


“Now please leave so we can enjoy our Christmas.” Stacy comments through a sigh, speaking in a harsh voice. Christen flinches at her tone before turning around. Just as she’s about to leave, she speaks in a quiet voice. 

  
  


“Here. These were- They were- They are the presents.” A silent stream of tears made it down her face. She places the green bag next to the wall and continues her way towards the door.    
  
  
Christen opens it with a small sigh, looking around the hallway. She takes a deep breath, wiping the tears from her eyes and gently shutting the door behind her. 

  
  


It wasn’t until she gets into the car and makes it to the end of the road, before she finally allows herself to break down. 

  
  


“DAD. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?” Tyler’s voice rings through the house. She’s been stood frozen in her spot, shocked and concerned, but suddenly she can't hold back anymore. 

  
  


“What was what?” Cody feigns ignorance, causing Channing to roll her eyes. “Why the hell did you just kick Christen out?” 

  
  


Cody brushes the comment off, “Because this is clearly a family dinner.” Tyler’s eyes grow wide, confusing hitting her once again. “Exactly. This is a family dinner and last time I checked, Christen is family. But in case you’ve forgotten, she’s your daughter!” 

  
  


Channing knows not to push any further when her eldest sister got like this. She was more than capable of handling this fight on her own and Channing feared that her own input might end in more than an argument.    
  
  
“She’s not family and she won’t ever be again!” His voice is stern now and colder than any family member had ever heard it. 

  
  


“I can’t believe you would do something like that. You can’t just kick her out of the family. She’s your daughter for goodness sake. What gives you a reason to ever do something like this?” Channing shakes her head, joining into the conversation. She wanted to give Tyler some time to cool down before continuing this discussion. 

  
  


Cody scoffs, “It’s personal. You wouldn’t even want to know, trust me.” 

  
  


Channing and Tyler give each other an angry and bewildered look. “We’re all family here so I’m pretty sure we won’t have a problem with it. Feel free to tell us. Something being personal has never stopped any of us from sharing our thoughts before.” 

  
  


Stacy’s voice rings through from the kitchen, entering the room again with a glass of champagne in her hand. “Tyler. Channing. Drop it.” She gives them a harsh look and continues her stride towards the couch, “We don’t need more people finding out about this.”

  
  


Tyler gives Channing a look that read  _ we’ll discuss this later and check on Chris,  _ earning a nod from Channing in response. 

  
  


\-------

  
  


Christen was lying on her bed, curled up in a ball with tears streaming down her face. 

  
  


_ Why was I stupid enough to think that things changed? That they changed their minds? _

  
  


The realisation that her siblings hadn’t even known yet hit her and she started crying even harder.  _ Now I haven’t just lost my parents but also my best friends and sisters. Nice job, Christen. _

  
  


As she was lying under her covers, even though it was only early afternoon, she knew that the only person that could comfort her right now was miles away. Christen was staring at the ceiling, trying to decide if she should call Tobin or not.  _ Just because I’m having a bad day and made a stupid decision, doesn’t mean she should suffer too. She doesn’t need these problems today. She shouldn't have to deal with the consequences of my own actions. _

  
  


Christen picks up her phone in search of a distraction, but as soon as she sees Julie’s Christmas family picture on Instagram, she has to fight the tears again. 

  
  


_ Maybe I should just text Tobin?  _

  
  


She pulls up Tobin’s text message thread and starts typing out a variety of texts before settling on a more simple one. 

  
  


**Chris :** Hey, baby. Have you got time to call later? 

  
  


She doesn't mean to fall asleep whilst waiting for a reply. Her head was throbbing from all the emotions, her eyes were puffy and red from crying, and her dark bedroom didn’t help her feel any more awake. 

  
  


\-------

  
  


“Auntie Toto, can we play soccer outside?” Cole has his best puppy eyes on, trying to convince his auntie to play with him. “Pleaseeee.”

  
  


Tobin smiles at him, hugging Ellie, who is on her hip, closer to her body. “Let me just go and talk to Auntie Katie. Why don’t you get warmed up and I’ll come outside in ten minutes?”, she suggested to the seven year old who jumped in excitement. 

  
  


As Tobin walks into the living room to find Katie talking to her mother, she feels her phone vibrate in her back pocket. She pulls it out with her free hand and reads the text with confusion. It was short and apart from the  _ ‘baby’  _ it almost sounds like the text messages they used to send each other when they were friends. 

  
  


_ Is something wrong with Christen? She never asks me if I can call later, she just calls.  _

  
  


“Earth to Tobin!” Katie waves her hand in front of Tobin’s face, bringing her back to reality. 

  
  


Tobin snaps her head up from her phone, “Huh? Sorry, what was that?” 

  
  


Katie and her mother looked at her with concern in their eyes, “Are you okay, Tobs?” 

  
  


Tobin nods at her sister. “Yeah, uh, would you mind taking Ellie back for a minute? I promised Cole that I’d play soccer with him in ten minutes.” 

  
  


Katie lifts her daughter out of Tobin’s arms, giving Tobin a chance to leave the room. She sees that the kitchen is empty when she passes it on the way back and pulls her phone back out. 

  
  


Tobin calls Christen, hoping the younger girl would answer right away. By the time it reaches voicemail for the fourth time in a row, she is more than convinced that something is wrong. Before she has the chance to call Christen for a fifth time, Cole comes into the kitchen. 

  
  


“Toto it’s been over ten minutes. You’re taking forever.” Tobin chuckles at how dramatic he is being and quickly sends Christen a text. 

  
  


**Tobs :** Please call me back when you get this, babe. Is everything ok?

  
  


Tobin can’t shake the feeling that there is something more to Christen’s text from earlier but she decides to momentarily let it go. She goes to catch up with her nephew, lifting him up and spinning him around, earning a squeal and laugh from him. 

  
  


She places her phone on the small coffee table in the living room, following Cole outside. Tobin runs ahead of him, quickly earning possession of the ball and passing it through his legs. Before she has a chance to run after the ball again, Jeffrey tackles her to the ground and starts juggling the ball. 

  
  


“Hey, that’s not fair. Pro versus a seven year old and a teacher, really?” Tobin calls out, making Jeffrey laugh as Tobin and Cole start running after him. 

  
  


Half an hour into their small scrimmage, Katie shouts Tobin’s name from the deck, trying to get her attention. “Tobs!” Tobin looks up to see Katie waving Tobin’s phone about. 

  
  


“Yeah?”   
  


“Someone’s trying to call you. It just says Chris?”

  
  


Jeffrey pauses and looks at Tobin, “Oh crap, I’ll be back in five minutes.”

  
  


Tobin quickly runs up towards the deck, thanking Katie and taking her phone. 

  
  


“Hey, you.” She said softly as she accepted the call. “Hey Tobs. I fell asleep and missed your calls, sorry. How’s your family?” As Tobin hears Christen’s voice break slightly, her eyebrows furrow. She moves away from everyone in the living room and back into the kitchen.

  
  


“They’re good. It’s so nice to spend time with my niece and nephews again.” Tobin smiles thinking of them.

  
  


Christen’s voice starts trembling more when she continues to speak, “I’m still waiting for my spam of pictures of them, Tobs. Don’t think you’re getting away with this!” She tries her best to joke. 

  
  


“Babe, what’s wrong?” Tobin tries to keep the concern out of her voice as much as she can. 

  
  


Christen lets out a small sigh, hoping Tobin wouldn’t be able to hear it. “Seriously babe, I can hear you trying not to cry from here. Please tell me what’s wrong.” Christen starts crying softly at this. Tobin always seems to know when something is wrong, even from miles away, and she can’t help but long for Tobin’s touch in this moment. She is longing for Tobin’s comfort. She just wants to be wrapped up in Tobin’s arms, her face buried in Tobin’s neck, and never feel anything else again. 

  
  


Christen starts telling Tobin what happened and by the end of it, both women were crying. Christen was trying to talk through her small sobs, recalling the earlier events. Tobin had a silent stream of tears, not wanting to upset Christen further. 

  
  


She feels angry at the world. Angry that someone would purposely hurt her girlfriend, who is one of the sweetest and selfless people she's ever met. More than anything, she's angry that she can’t be there for Christen right now. 

  
  


By the time they finish their call and hang up, Tobin had managed to calm Christen down, even a little, and it was already getting closer to dinner time. She buries her face in her hands, taking deep breaths and trying to steady her breathing.    
  
  
Tobin is busy having an internal debate with herself, trying to figure out the right thing to do. She settles on calling Kelley. She is one of Christen’s oldest and closest friends and Tobin knows that she would go above and beyond just to make sure her best friend was alright. 

  
  


It only rings three times before she hears Kelley’s voice on the end of the line. Cindy and Perry start filing through to the kitchen, presumably to prepare something to eat, but Tobin takes no notice of them. 

  
  


“Hello? Tobito? Is that you?” Tobin has to stop herself from laughing out loud at the nickname. “Tobito?”

  
  


Kelley laughs before continuing, “How are you?” 

  
  


Tobin ignores the question, “Are you still in Cali?” She wants to get straight to the point, hoping Kelley would agree to this. “Um yes, why?” 

  
  


“I need you to do me a favor Kel, please?”

  
  


“Depends on what it is.”   
  


“I need you to go to Christen’s house please.”

  
  


Tobin could hear that Kelley was taken aback by the request, not having expected it. 

  
  


“Umm she’ll be at her parent’s house. They have a family Christmas together every year.” 

  
  


“No she’s not, Kel. Something happened with her family and she’s not there. Look, she’s by herself and upset and I really need you to go over to her house.”

  
  


“I’m sure she’s fine and with her family, Tobin. If she was upset then she would have just called me or asked if she could come to mine.”

  
  


Tobin’s frustration was growing, but she was trying not to let it show since technically Kelley wasn't doing anything wrong. 

  
  


“Ugh Kelley, please. She called me and she’s clearly upset but I’m in Florida so it’s kind of impossible for me to go over to hers. I know you have a key, so you wouldn’t even have to wait for her to open the door.” 

  
  


Perry and Cindy can sense Tobin’s distressed state and silently worked around the kitchen, quietly listening into the conversation and throwing each other confused looks. 

  
  


They hear the person on the receiving end of the phone leave a comment causing Tobin’s eyes to widen. She sighs before responding. 

  
  


“What do you mean ‘how do you know’? Why wouldn’t I know?” 

  
  


“Tobin! Christen and I have been best friends for years. I know she rarely lets personal information out, especially to people she hasn’t known that long unless-” Kelley cut herself off, coming to a realization. “Wait! Oh my gosh, are you finally together?” 

  
  


“What?” Christen and Tobin had discussed that they wouldn’t care if their friends found out, but wanted to keep it private for a little longer. Tobin doesn't mind Kelley finding out, even if she isn’t sure how Kelley had just come to that conclusion, but she didn’t think now was the right time to talk about it and get into detail. 

  
  


“You and Christen, you’re together aren’t you? Why didn’t I know about this?” 

  
  


Tobin groaned, causing her mother and sister to turn around. “Uhm, yeah we are. We've been together for a little while now and we haven't told anyone yet, so there's not really a reason why you didn't know. We just want to keep it private for a while, but we were planning on telling you soon anyway. This isn’t the point though, Kelley. I need you to please drive to Chris’ house, check on her and then call me again later and let me know how she’s doing, please.”

  
  


Kelley was jumping for excitement on the other end of the line, almost deafening Tobin with her high pitched screech. “Okay, I’ll head over now. Why don’t you just call her?”

  
  


“Because it’s Christen. You and I both know she wouldn’t tell me the full truth whilst I’m away because she wouldn’t want me to worry about her.” 

  
  


Kelley agrees and tells Tobin that she will drive over to Christen’s place now. She promised Tobin to call later before hanging up. 

  
  


Once Kelley is off the line, Tobin drops her head down into her arms which were resting on the kitchen island. She let out a deep sigh, quickly remembering that she isn't alone in the kitchen. 

  
  


Tobin feels a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly. 

  
  


“What’s the matter, Tob?” Perry wraps her arms around Tobin once she lifts her head up. Her eyes were teary, causing Perry to squeeze her harder. 

  
  


Tobin shakes her head, letting out a deep sigh. “Nothing to worry about, it’ll be ok. I promise.” She didn’t want to worry her family on Christmas and she hasn't even told them that she is dating Christen yet. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom. Do you need any help with the food after?” 

  
  


Cindy smiles at her, “I think we’re ok, sweetheart. Why don’t you look where Kayden is? I think he wanted to play with you before.” 

  
  


As soon as Tobin pulls herself together and exits the room, Perry walks over to her mother. “Did you know that she is dating someone?” She hadn’t spoken to her sister as much as she would like to since her move to California, but she would expect Tobin to call her about something major like this. Cindy just shrugs, unsure of what to say. “No, but I’m sure she’ll tell us when she’s ready.” 

  
  


Tobin starts to visibly relax after she receives a text from Kelley, informing her that she had arrived at Christen’s. She’d requested that Kelley calls her on her drive back, getting back to her meal once she got a response. 

  
  


When Kelley enters Christen’s house it was dark.  _ Christen’s house is never dark? I don’t think I’ve ever even seen the curtains closed before. _

  
  


“Chris?” When she get no response, she heads towards the bedroom. Kelley knocks on it gently before entering. She finds a body tucked under the covers facing the opposite direct. Christen’s knees were tucked into her body and her hair was in a messy bun. She lifts her head slowly to turn around and look who had just entered the room, but returns to her original position once she sees that it is only Kelley. She'd heard the woman call out when she entered the house, otherwise she would have had the police on speed dial already. 

  
  


Kelley makes her way across the room, laying down next to Christen and trying to soothe her by gently stroking her shoulder. “You’re okay Chris, I’ve got you.” 

  
  


She hasn’t spoken to her friend as much as usual over the past few months. They were adults with full time jobs, relationships and busy lives, but she feels a sudden rush of guilt flow over her. She quickly pushes that thought away again when she remembers that Christen does in fact have Tobin and the only reason she isn't here right now is because she is in Florida. 

  
  


Kelley stayed for longer than she planned for. She made Christen something to eat and forced her to have a shower. Even if she still had tear stained cheeks, she managed to eat half a bowl of soup and move over to the couch in the living room. It took Christen pushing Kelley out of the house almost three hours later, for her to leave again. Christen wanted Kelley to spend time with her family on Christmas and as much as she appreciated her friend being there for her, it wasn’t fair to keep Kelley away from her family at Christmas. 

  
Especially when it was her own fault for getting into this mess. 

  
  


\--------

  
  


Tobin’s phone starts ringing just as everyone had settled onto the chairs and outdoor sofas around the small fire pit in the garden. She excuses herself and gets up to answer the call, not missing the glance Perry and Cindy give each other. 

  
  


Tobin’s voice was wary when she answered, surprised that Kelley was only calling her now. “Hey Kelley”

  
  


“Tobin, it's bad, like really bad!” Kelley gets straight to the point. She doesn’t want Tobin to worry, but she needs Tobin to know the full truth since she is the only one that even knows what happened. “I’ve never seen her like this before.”

  
  


“Fuck, I knew it was a bad idea to go away over the holidays. I should have never left her.” Tears start to build up in Tobin’s eyes. The current situation made her feel concerned and the fact that she was missing her girlfriend when she knew that Christen needed her didn’t help much either. 

  
  


“None of this is your fault before you start blaming yourself. It would have happened either way, whether you’re in California right now or not.” Kelley allows Tobin a moment to let the words sink in, “Look, she didn’t tell me a whole lot. At least not in much detail and it’s none of my business, but I’ll always be here for Christen, no matter what. So I want you to try and relax. Spend time with your family and I’ll keep checking in with Christen every day until you’re back. There’s not much either of us can do right now apart from be there for her.” 

  
  


Tobin lets out a deep sigh, throwing her head back out of frustration. “Keep calling Christen and keep talking to her. You’ll know what’s going on better than anyone else and I think she really needs someone there for her right now. I promise I’ll keep calling every day and let you know how she is.”

  
  


Tobin reluctantly agrees, internally wanting to ship herself back to California in an instant. “Thanks Kel, I think I really needed that. And thank you for going to see Christen. I’ll call her later before I go to bed.”

  
  


“Anytime. Like I said, I’ll always be here for her. Merry Christmas, enjoy your time with the family.” 

  
  


“Thank you, you too.” Tobin smiles, even if it didn’t quite reach her eyes. 

  
  


Cindy walks in so quickly after Tobin finished her call that she almost thought it was timed. By the concerned look on her mother’s face, mirroring hers, she can tell it was. 

  
  


“How much of that did you hear?” Tobin wonders, unsure what her mother had heard. 

  
  


Cindy walks over to where Tobin is standing, leaning against the kitchen counter next to her. “Enough to know that there is something wrong. I know you’re not a kid anymore and can deal with problems by yourself, but you’ve seemed stressed and zoned out all night. Maybe it would help to talk about it?”    
  


Tobin smiles as Cindy wraps her arm around Tobin’s shoulder and pulls her closer. 

  
  


“Yeah maybe. It’s not really my story to share though.” She said as an afterthought. “I’m your mom Tobs. We can have this conversation and then I’ll forget all about it if that’s what you want.”   
  
  


Tobin ponders on it for a minute, before nodding in agreement. 

  
  


“Okay, so...I was going to tell everyone this at some point anyway, but I’m dating someone.” Cindy let out a squeal, making Tobin laugh at how excited her mother got over the fact that her twenty-six year old daughter was in a relationship. 

  
  


“Who is she? What’s she like? Have you got any pictures together?” Cindy was beaming and Tobin wonders if she’s ever seen her mother this happy before. “Yeah, I do.” Tobin nods through a laugh, pulling her phone back out and showing her mother the picture they took together on their first date.

  
  


“Oh my gosh Tobs, she’s gorgeous.” Tobin smiles at her in response, swiping along to show her one of the most recent pictures they took. “She’s called Christen. It’s still quite new and we haven’t been on that many dates, but I really like her and I think I'm falling for her.” 

  
  


Cindy pulls Tobin into a tight hug, almost choking her. “I need to hear all about this Christen. How did you two meet?” 

  
  


“We actually work at the same school. Christen is the leader of the physical education department, so I first met her at my interview. Her eyes knocked me out right away.” Tobin smiles, remembering the moment they first met and how she instantly wanted to get to know Christen better. “So in the last week of the summer break, Christen started showing me around and we got to know each other better. We became close friends and somewhere down the line I really started liking her, even if I thought that she would never feel the same way. So long story short, it turns out we both felt the same way and here we are.” 

  
  


Tobin was glowing and Cindy could tell right away how happy her daughter was. “I’m so happy for you kid, you really deserve some happiness.” 

  
  


They stay in comfortable silence for a moment, before Cindy remembers why she had come to look for Tobin in first place. “So if everything is great, why are you upset?” 

  
  


Tobin hesitates for a minute, not knowing whether to share the story or not. “Ah, ehm so this isn’t really my story to tell so please don’t mention it to any of the family, but I could really use your advice.” Cindy’s nod and serious facial expression is enough for Tobin to start talking. 

  
  


“Well...I’m the first woman that Christen has ever dated - not that it matters - but her last relationship wasn’t exactly a healthy one and it didn’t end in the best way. Before we even started dating or knew about our feelings for each other, she told her parents that she’s bisexual. From what Christen’s told me they were always super supportive and caring, so she expected them to not make a big deal out of it.” Cindy hums, indicating that she is still listening. “She turned up at my house that night, in tears, because her parents threw her out of their house and told her that she’s no longer part of the family.” Tobin’s eyes start to tear up again at the thought. She hated seeing Christen upset and all she ever wanted to do was protect the girl from anything that could hurt her. “Christen has some days where something small might trigger it and make her miss her family, so there’s been quite a few days where she’s been upset and crying at work. It breaks my heart to see her upset, mom. She’s the most caring person I know and she just doesn’t deserve it.” Tobin takes a deep breath to steady herself, looking up to see Cindy’s shocked and wide eyes staring at her. 

  
  


“We’ve spoken about it a lot and I’d like to think that I help at least a little. I know I can’t control it or take any of what she must be feeling away, but I just try to distract her and take her mind off of it.” Cindy’s heart melts at the sight of her daughter caring so much about someone else's feelings. “She hadn’t spoken to her parents, or her sisters for that matter, since that day but today she went over to their house. I’m not really sure why. I guess because it’s Christmas, so she thought that they might push it away for a day or have had enough time to think about it - I mean it’s been weeks since she last spoke to them.”

  
  


“Anyway, it didn’t work out. They started shouting at her again and kicked her out as soon as she walked in. From what she said it seems like her sister’s didn’t even know why, but still tried to stick up for her. I just don’t know what to do, mom.” Cindy runs her hand through Tobin’s hair. “First of all, I’m so proud of you Tobin. I’ve always known you have a big heart, but hearing you care so much about someone who means a lot to you makes me so happy.” Tobin leans her head against Cindy’s shoulder, resting it there. “And second of all, I hate to break it to you but there’s not a whole lot you can do. From what you’ve said, it sounds like you’re already doing an amazing job by just being there for her and having a shoulder that she can cry on. It’s not something simple and certainly not something that is easy to forget, but her sharing that with you is already a huge step in the right direction.” Tobin lifts her head, looking Cindy in the eye. “We’ll figure something out, but whilst you’re away just call her. Talk to her when you have the chance to and make sure she knows that you’re still there for her even when you’re not there in person.” 

  
  


\-----

  
  


When Tobin calls Christen the next morning, she sounds better. Her voice has returned back to normal and not raspy from crying. They talk about Tobin’s niece and nephews, even tucking in a little conversation about Tobin telling her mother she’s dating Christen - leaving out the details as to how her mother found out and what came up in the conversation. 

  
Perry and Katie find out about Christen through Cindy. It was an accident, really. They’d planned on Tobin telling the duo throughout the day, but when Cindy asked how Christen was at breakfast it wasn’t possible to put the conversation off any longer. 

  
  


Not that she wanted to anyway. She was proud of Christen and their relationship, which is something she wanted to share with her family. 

  
  


Boxing day was always a lazy day for the Heath family. This was usually down to them drinking too much the night before, but they’d never admit that out loud. The family’s day was filled with board games and a good measure of soccer was tucked in there too. 

  
  


Tobin had agreed to help Cindy and her sister’s with dinner that night, which she quickly regretted when she realised the offer was only an opportunity to investigate her on Christen. She’d barely answered two of their questions before her phone rang. 

  
  


Katie’s eyes divert over to the phone, smirking when she saw the name on it. “Speaking of the devil, look who’s calling you Tobin.” 

  
  


Tobin rolls her eyes but was quick to grab the phone, realizing that it was a FaceTime call. Perry must have noticed this at the same time, quickly commenting on it. “Oh, it's a FaceTime call. Tobin you have to let us meet her, please.” 

  
  


“Fine. You get five minutes and then I’m leaving the room, as long as you promise not to ambush or overwhelm her.” The trio nod in agreement, huddling around Tobin. 

  
  


When the call connected, Tobin didn’t see her green-eyed girl on the screen. Instead, she saw a familiar face with cute freckles and a usually beaming smile. 

  
  


“You’re not Christen.” Tobin frowns, causing Kelley to laugh into the phone. “Nice observation, Tobito. I’m glad you can tell me and your girlfriend apart.” 

  
  


Katie chuckles at the joke, making Tobin turn towards her with a look that read  _ please don’t encourage her.  _

  
  


“Ehm you do realise you’re calling me from Christen’s phone right?” Tobin thinks on it for a short moment, “Why have you even got Christen’s phone?” 

  
  


“I’m at her house and forgot my phone in the car. Also Christen really needs to change her password, it’s been the same since College.” Tobin shakes her head at Kelley, “Great, so where’s Chris?” 

  
  


“She’s in the shower.” Kelley’s demeanor changes to a more serious one. “Okay,” Tobin drags out her words, “so what’s up?” 

  
  


“You know what I told you yesterday when I called you…” Tobin hums in acknowledgement, “Well, somehow it’s even worse today. I thought I’d come by today after my family left and she didn’t even open the door, I had to use the key again.” 

  
  


“What’s she been like today?”

  
  


“Honestly, she’s been terrible. Even worse than I thought she would be.”   
  


“But I don’t understand, she seemed better when I spoke to her on the phone this morning.” Tobin thinks back to it, realizing that Christen’s answers were short and tired but she did sound better than the night before. 

  
  


“She doesn’t want you to worry Tobin.” Kelley shakes her head, “Christen is one of the most selfless people I know, she wants you to enjoy your time back home.” 

  
  


Tobin nods in agreement, “Yeah I knew she’d do something like this, but I’m not going to force her feelings out of her.” 

  
  


“I had to drag her into the shower, quite literally. She was still in bed when I arrived twenty minutes ago and she hasn’t eaten since I forced her to eat soup for dinner yesterday. I’ve never seen her like this in the whole eight years I’ve known her.” 

  
  


“Has she told you anything new?” Kelley shakes her head, “No and I’m not going to budge her on it. I don’t think she wants to talk about it and you know, so that’s what’s important. I think she probably won't tell everything until she sees you again in person.” 

  
  


“I’m sorry, but it’s not my place to share something like that. It took her a lot to tell me the first time round.”    
  
  
Kelley’s eyes widen, “No, that’s not what I meant at all, Tobin. I’d never ask you to share something with me if Christen wouldn’t want me to know.” She watches as Tobin’s expression relaxes, “By the way, before I drag her out of the house. Please tell me where Christen keeps her coffee. I can’t be dealing with a grumpy AND upset Christen.”    
  
  
Tobin sniggers, “In the cupboard above the kettle.”    
  


Kelley was about to respond when she hears the shower turn off, “Tobin, she’s out of the shower so I better go. I’ll text you later?” Tobin agrees, telling her she’d call Christen later once she isn’t with Kelley anymore. 

  
  


Once Kelley hung up, Tobin drops her head slightly in thought. 

  
  


“Tobin, I think you need to go home.” She hears Cindy say. She hadn’t expected her mother to react like that, usually being one for spending as much time as she can with her family. “But I never get to see the whole family together. I already miss out on so much time with Ellie, Cole and Kayden.” 

  
  


“Tob, this seems important and we’ll come to California soon. I promise.” Katie nods in agreement with her sister, “Go home if you need to. We’ve had you for Christmas, but it won’t do you any good if you’re worried whilst you’re away.”

  
  


She doesn't know why she feels the need to protest against it. Tobin knows she should take their advice and she also knows that Christen needs her, but on the other hand she feels upset about not being able to spend more time with her family. 

  
  


“Besides, we’ll see you in a couple of weeks anyway, won’t we?” Cindy’s voice is soft, showing no signs of being upset if Tobin decides to leave early.    
  
  
Tobin raises an eyebrow at her. “Jeffrey has January camp and a game in LA soon. We were already planning to go, but we could make a mini vacation of it? We could all try and stay the week and spend time together.” 

  
  


Perry is quick to chip in, “As long as we get to meet Christen, I’m in.” 

  
  


Tobin feels lighter, thinking that she might get to see her family again soon. Maybe she would be able to go home now after all. “Of course you can meet her - as long as she’s up for it.”    
  
  
Cindy wraps Tobin into a hug, Katie and Perry following to create a group hug, making them all laugh. 

  
  


“Okay, you’re right. I think I should go, as long as you promise that you’ll all come and stay with me and Christen for a week.” They agree easily and Cindy loads up her laptop to book Tobin a flight. 

  
  


“The next flight isn’t until the afternoon on the 28th. Would that work?” 

  
  


“Yeah, that sounds good.” Tobin smiles to herself, “I’ll get to surprise Chris for her birthday that way.” 

  
  


\--------

  
  


Tobin flew home on the 28th, arriving in the early hours of Christen’s birthday. Christen had driven her to the airport on her way there, which she seemed to have forgotten until she landed. She ordered herself an Uber to Christen’s house, pulling out her keys once she arrived. 

  
  


Tobin turns the key quietly, not wanting to wake Christen. When she walks inside, she sees Christen curled up on the sofa in a thin blanket. Her eyes look puffy and swollen, even in her sleep, and the television was still running quietly in the background. She drops her bags at the entrance, taking off her shoes and padding across the wooden floorboards. 

  
  


“Chris. Babe.” Tobin caresses Christen’s cheek gently, not wanting to startle the girl out of sleep. “Babe, wake up.” 

  
  


Christen hums in her sleep, acknowledging the contact but not quite registering it. 

  
  


When Tobin leaves a light kiss on Christen’s cheek, her eyes start opening at a slow pace until green eyes were locked with hazel ones. 

  
  


“Tobin?”, Christen’s eyebrows scrunch together in confusion.    
  
  
“Hey, sleeping beauty.” Tobin smiles at Christen’s sleepy state. 

  
  


“Baby, what are you doing here?”

  
  


“I thought you might need someone to be here for you.” Tobin could barely finish her sentence before Christen was pulling her in for a tight hug. 

  
  


Tobin lets herself be pulled down on the sofa, lying next to Christen. She hugs her just as tight, breathing in Christen’s familiar scent again. 

  
  


Christen hides her face in Tobin’s neck for a long moment, then pulling back and giving Tobin a lasting kiss. 

  
  


“You’re actually here?” Tobin nods to confirm Christen's question, “But you weren’t supposed to be back for another ten days.” 

  
  


Christen smile is beaming, pulling Tobin back into another hug. 

  
  


“I missed you so much.” Christen murmurs. “I missed you too, Chris.” 

  
  


Tobin was exhausted from travelling and allowed Christen to drag her to bed. It didn’t take either girl long to fall asleep that night. Tobin would make it her goal to help Christen tomorrow, but for tonight she was content to simply drift to sleep, wrapped in Christen’s arms. 


	9. All For One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's take it to the beach,  
> Take it there together.  
> Let's celebrate today.

“I’m really nervous.”, Christen sighs. 

Christen and Tobin are lying in bed, limbs of naked bodies tangled together. Tobin loves the way Christen’s bare skin felt on hers so it wasn’t uncommon for them to lie in bed in the mornings, quietly talking and waking up slowly. Tobin is lying on her back with Christen on her front, half draped across her. Christen’s head is resting on Tobin’s shoulder, nuzzling into her neck, whilst one hand draws mindless patterns on Tobin’s hip bone. Tobin’s hand is stroking Christen’s forearm and the other is rubbing her back softly. 

It had been nearly two weeks since Tobin flew back to California. During the past two weeks, they’ve mainly been focusing on themselves and just enjoying some free time to relax. Kelley came to visit the next day and they grabbed coffee with her, but she’s been spending time with her family since Tobin’s return. The duo haven’t done much apart from relax at home and make their way through netflix, but they did leave the house for walks, the beach or going to a restaurant, multiple times throughout the weeks. Despite the unfortunate events that took place earlier that week, Christen still managed to have a good time on her birthday, which was spent at home with Tobin’s home cooked meal. Since Christen didn’t have the right ingredients at the time, they decided to spend the night at Tobin’s house and had been staying there since. Their New Year’s Eve was spent in a similar fashion, simply watching the fireworks from the rooftop balcony of Tobin’s house. 

Today, Tobin’s family would be flying into California. Jeffrey had already arrived seven days ago for the training camp, but the remainder of the family stayed in Florida until they caught the early morning flight that morning. Tobin had arranged for her and Christen to pick them up. Jeffrey’s match was taking place tomorrow afternoon and after that he was free from international duties until February. 

Since the family was staying for a full week, mainly for Tobin so they could all spend time together, Tobin had offered them her house to stay in. Christen insisted that they couldn’t possibly make room for eleven people in Tobin’s house, even if it had three bedrooms including a study with a sofa bed, so after not much of a discussion Christen also offered her guest rooms. Tobin, Christen, Cindy, Jeff, Jeffrey and Sarah would be staying at Christen’s house, leaving Tobin’s house for Perry, Taylor, Katie, James and their kids. 

If Christen’s nerves hadn’t already been there since she found out about the trip, they were definitely kicking in now. 

The last time she met someone’s parents, it was Michaels. His parents were so caring and loving that it had made her question why she was ever nervous in first place. They’d welcomed Christen with wide arms and she always enjoyed their company. 

Tobin was different though. Tobin was one of the best people she’d ever met and quickly became the most important person in her life. 

She expected the nerves. They were natural. If anything, it just proved how much she cared about meeting Tobin’s family and leaving a good first impression. 

Meeting her siblings, including their families, and parents together was only adding to her nerves, but Christen figured that having them all around at the same time might make it a little easier for her. 

“What if they don’t like me?” Christen looks up to meet Tobin’s hazel eyes, a shimmer of worry displaying in her own. 

“Chris, there is no way they couldn’t like you.” Tobin says sincerely. 

“I don’t know, babe...my own parents don’t so why should someone else's?” She questions, resting her head back down on Tobin’s shoulder. 

“Because they aren’t just any parents, they’re my parents. Plus they’re all so excited to meet you.” Tobin feels Christen smile at that, hoping it's a good time to continue. “How are you holding up?” 

Tobin runs her hand through Christen’s curls. “I’m okay. I haven’t thought about it too much for the past few days. I’m just excited to meet your family now.” She pauses for a moment, before continuing. “Tyler and Channing tried calling a few times over the past week.” 

“I’m guessing you haven’t spoken to them?” 

Christen lightly shakes her head. “No. I feel bad for ignoring them, but I’m scared to hear what they’re going to say.” 

“I know you are.” Tobin sighs, “Don’t ignore them forever though, okay? I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t feel comfortable with but I think you should talk to them at some point. Hear them out and see what they have to say.”

Christen takes a moment to think about it. “Okay, I will.”

\-------

They went grocery shopping together, dropping the food off at their respective houses, before meeting back up at Christen’s house. Once everything was in place, they drove to the airport. Christen and Tobin only took Christen’s car, as Perry and Taylor agreed that it was easier for them to get a rental car for their stay. It saved them from having to get an Uber every time they went somewhere and getting a 7-seater meant Katie, James and the kids could also fit in. 

In the car, Tobin can't help but notice how nervous Christen was. She reaches over, gently intertwining Christen’s fingers with her own. “Stop twirling the ends of your hair. You’re going to be fine, I promise.” Tobin smiles, “They’re all super loving and my mom practically jumped with excitement when I told her about you.”    
  
It wasn’t long before they pulled into the LAX airport car park. They still had ten minutes until the flight was supposed to land, so they went to find a Starbucks instead. Tobin laughs when she received a text message from Perry whilst they were in the queue. 

**Perry :** WE’VE LANDED TOBYYYYY. 

She just shakes her head with a smile, knowing how excited Perry is to finally see her new home. Tobin turns the phone to show Christen, throwing her other arm around her shoulder. Christen winks with a beaming smile as she looks at Tobin, indicating that she's joking. “Oh no. What have I got myself into.” 

“I don’t know, but you’re stuck with me now.” Tobin says, leaning in for a kiss. 

“It’s a good thing that I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

They order their coffee, sitting down on some empty seats in a quiet corner. Tobin’s family still had to get the keys to their rental car and get through baggage claim, so Perry had agreed to tell her when they’re ready. 

Less than forty-five minutes later, they’re making their way towards the exit of the rental car stalls. 

Tobin feels two hands cover her eyes from behind, moving out of the grip to find Katie smiling at her. 

“Long time no see.”, Katie jokes.

“Hey, stranger.” Tobin looks over Katie’s shoulder as she wraps her in a tight hug, seeing the rest of her family walking towards her. 

She watches as Cole spots her, quickly running over. “Aunty Toto!” He crashes into her for a hug, wrapping his arms around her waist. Ellie and Kayden come running over too, at a slower pace, trying their best to keep up with the older boy. 

Christen stands to the side, smiling at the scene in front of her. She sees a slightly older woman hug Tobin too, before Tobin turns her head towards Christen. Tobin reaches her hand out, pulling her a little closer. 

“Guys...this is my girlfriend, Christen.” Tobin has a blinding smile on her face, happiness written across it. “Chris, this is my family.” She introduces them all by name as they go around the group, hugging Christen without hesitation and making her feel welcome in the family. Her heart melts when Tobin even gets Ellie, Kayden and Cole to say  _ hi  _ and give her a shy wave. 

“It’s so nice to meet you, Mr and Mrs Heath.” Christen smiles when she reaches Tobin’s parents. Cindy pulls Christen into a hug, feeling comforted by her motherly characteristics. “It’s great to meet you too Christen, but please, just call us Cindy and Jeff.” 

Cindy pulls back to look at Christen. “You’re even more beautiful than in the pictures Tobin showed me.” 

“I did try to warn you mom!” Tobin shrugs with a smile, laughing as Christen blushed. 

Christen hugs Jeff, before pulling back and standing next to Tobin again. As soon as the family start discussing something about their luggage, Christen turns towards Tobin.

“Oh my gosh, Tobs. Kayden, Ellie and Cole are the cutest.”, Christen gushes. 

Tobin gives Christen a loving look. “Don’t I know it!”

“I bet they have you wrapped around their little fingers.” Christen lightly nudges Tobin’s side with her elbow.

“It’s not even worth denying.” They both laugh as Tobin looks back over to the kids. 

“Ready to go?” Tobin asks her family, not wanting to spend any longer at the airport. 

The family nods as they make their way towards the indoor parking garage, where their rental car is. 

“How was your New Year’s Eve?” Perry looks at Tobin and Christen. 

Tobin offers an answer, seeing that Christen’s nerves had started to fade but were still present. “It was good. We didn’t really do much, did we?” She smiles at Christen, hoping to get her out of her shell a little. 

Christen shakes her head. “No, we just had a bit of a lazy day. We watched a movie, went to the beach and just watched the fireworks from the house. It was nice though.” 

“We weren’t much different, apart from having three little devils around so there wasn’t much relaxing going on.” Katie chips in through a laugh. “We had fireworks on the beach though, which was lovely.”    


  
Taylor nods, “Where Cindy and Jeff live it might as well be a private beach, so it’s perfect for Christmas and New Years.” 

“Tobin sent me some pictures of the house and beach over Christmas. It looks like a dream.” Christen had heard from Tobin how much Cindy and Jeff love their house. It really did sound like a dream and upon seeing the pictures, Christen quickly understood why. 

“It definitely is. We absolutely love living there. You and Tobin will have to come and visit some time when the school is on break.” Tobin squeezes Christen’s hand lightly after hearing Cindy’s comment, happy that her parents are already including Christen in plans. 

“I’d love that, Cindy.” Christen gives her a grateful smile as they reach the rental car. 

“What’s your address for the GPS?” Taylor questions, as he got into the driver's seat of the car. 

Tobin turns to Christen, “Are we going to your place or mine?” 

James puts his suitcase in the trunk of the car, turning to join the conversation. “Which one is closer to the airport?” 

“Mine, but Tobin’s is only fifteen minutes away so it doesn’t really make a difference.” Christen shrugs, “It’s up to you.”    


“Why don’t we go to yours and then we can just walk downtown to eat later?” Tobin suggests.

Christen nods, “Yeah sounds good. Then we won’t have to worry about parking.” 

Tobin agrees, giving Taylor Christen’s address before leading the rest of the family to Christen’s car. 

It was a busy drive back to their house. The typical LA traffic hit them quickly, giving Christen a chance to get to know Jeff, Sarah and Cindy better to settle the small nerves left inside her. 

Sarah was more shy and reserved, despite being a part of the family for nearly three years now. “How long have you been living here Christen?” 

“Well I’ve only ever lived in Cali, even for College, but I didn’t move to the Manhattan area until late February last year.” 

Cindy was intrigued, “Where did you live before?”

“I actually lived in Palos Verdes. It’s where I grew up so I moved back there after College and started my first teaching job at PV High School." 

Jeff nods, “Did you go to USC?”

Christen shakes her head, “Stanford”

Cindy looks impressed as Jeff speaks up again. “Oh, wow. That’s a great school.”   


Cindy is about to agree when Tobin laughs and interrupts them. “Please don’t, mom. I already deal with enough of the ‘Stanford talk’ from Chris and Kelley.” She shakes her head as Christen slaps her arm lightly. “I don’t recommend game nights with those two. Every time I lose it’s because I didn’t go to Stanford.”   
  


The group laugh at Tobin trying to sound upset, attempting to get sympathy from her mother. 

“We never said UNC is a bad school, it just isn’t Stanford.” Christen teases.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Tobin says sarcastically, “Who beat Stanford in the NCAA College Cup in 2006?”

Christen is quick to shoot back with a wink, “That’s just because I wasn’t there yet.”

Tobin thinks about it for a short moment, turning more serious. “Isn’t it weird that if I would have played soccer for another year, we would have met in College?” 

Christen pulls into her driveway and parks the car as she turns to Tobin. “You probably wouldn’t have liked me as you would have lost and you hate losing.” 

Cindy laughs as they get out of the car, reaching to open her own car door. 

“This is a beautiful house, Christen” Cindy states as she enters the front door. 

Christen smiles at her, “Thank you. I’ve loved it so far.” 

Tobin just grabs her mother's hand and tugs her along, “Just wait until you see the view!” 

After they get takeaway pizza and spent the afternoon at Christen’s house, Tobin takes the remainder of the family to her house whilst Christen gives Cindy, Jeff and Sarah a house tour to make sure they have everything they need for their stay. 

It’s late by the time Tobin returns to Christen’s house. When it’s quiet as she enters the house, she assumes that they’re all asleep, so she locks the door behind her and takes her shoes off. 

As she drops her keys on the kitchen island, she’s surprised to see that her mother is in fact still awake. 

“I was just getting a glass of water. I hope that’s ok.” 

“Of course, mom.” Tobin nods, “Just help yourself to anything you need.”

She walks over to the cupboard, also grabbing two glasses and filling them up with water, knowing that Christen will have forgotten to take one for herself and will want some of Tobin’s. 

Cindy pulls her daughter into a hug as she places her glass on the counter. “I’m really happy for you Tobs.” 

“Yeah? What do you think? I know you’ve only just met her today, but do you like her?” 

Cindy nods, “I love her, Tobin. She’s such a sweet girl and perfect for you. It’s so nice to see you this happy again.”    
  


Tobin gives her mother a beaming smile, “Thanks, mom. What you think matters a lot to me. I really really like Christen.”

“I can tell you do.” She gives Tobin a light kiss in her hair, “I’m going to bed now sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

  
  
“Good night, mom” 

Tobin finishes her water and refills the glass before heading upstairs to Christen’s room. 

  
  
She opens the door to see Christen reading her new copy of  _ Untamed  _ by  _ Glennon Doyle.  _ Her glasses sitting on her nose and the covers wrapped around her. Tobin smiles at the sight, moving over towards her after closing the door again. 

“Hey,” Christen gives a bright smile that reaches her eyes. “You’re back.” 

  
  
Tobin nods and gives Christen a quick peck, giving Christen a glass before placing her own next to the bed. She moves over to the bottom draw of Christen’s cupboard, pulling out an old oversized Stanford shirt and some sleep shorts. 

“Oh, so you’re all for Stanford now are you?” Christen raises her eyebrow in a teasing tone as Tobin gets dressed. 

Tobin rolls her eyes and she walks into the bathroom once she’s changed, to finish getting ready. She returns five minutes later, pulling the covers down to lie next to Christen. 

Christen doesn’t waste any time, moving to turn off the light and then settling in her usual position of lying half way on top of Tobin. 

Tobin runs a hand through her hair as Christen hugs her tightly. 

“Did they settle in alright?” Christen questions about the other half of the family. 

“Yeah I think so. The little ones were tired but I just told them to text me if they need anything.” Christen hums in response. 

“They love you babe, especially my mom.” 

  
  
She tilts her head to look up at Tobin, “Really?” 

  
  
“Mhm. My mom was telling me downstairs how much she likes you.” 

  
  
Christen smiles brightly at that, “I really like them too. They’re all so nice and welcoming.” 

  
  
Tobin leans down to kiss Christen, pulling away before they can deepen it further. She doesn’t want to get carried away whilst her parents are here. 

Christen rests her head back on Tobin’s chest, murmuring a soft “good night” before drifting off to sleep. 

They spend the next few days showing Tobin’s family around their local area. They go to their favorite coffee shops, restaurants and spots on the beach, just to spend some time relaxing. Jeffrey was able to get out of camp every afternoon and eat dinner with them as a group, but had to return before the end of the night. Their third day, Jeffrey’s game day, was fast approaching. 

\-------

Christen and Tobin were the first ones awake that morning. They sat on the sofa downstairs, cups of coffee in hand. 

Christen sat on one end of the corner sofa, feet resting on the leg rest of it. “What time is the game today?” 

Tobin was next to her, still having space to put her feet up whilst leaning into Christen, resting her head against Christen’s shoulder. 

“It’s starting at six, but I think we’ll head there for quarter-to-five so we have some time before the game.” 

“Do you still need to print the tickets or have you got them?” 

“I think Jeff left some for us at the entrance.” 

Christen hums, placing a kiss on Tobin’s forehead before resting her head on top of Tobin’s.

They sit in comfortable silence for a long moment. 

Tobin puts her cup on the coffee table once it’s empty and finds her spot again. “Have you got much work left to do before we go back?”    


  
Christen thinks on it, trying to remember what she has left to do. “I don’t think so. I’ll probably have to go in early on the first monday to get organised but apart from that I should be good.” 

Cindy walks into the living room, greeting the pair. 

Christen lifts her head, turning it to look at Cindy. “Morning. Do you want a cup of coffee?” 

“Oh yes please, if you don’t mind.”    


  
She gets up from the sofa, turning to look at Tobin again whilst she busies herself. 

“Have you?” Christen returns Tobin’s question.

Tobin shakes her head. “Nope” she pops the ‘p’, “I’m all sorted, unless you need me to do anything else.” 

“No, I think you’re good. I was gonna send the schedule out to Julie and Alex later though so maybe you could check over that to see if it’s right and makes sense?” 

Tobin nods in response, reaching for Christen’s computer as Christen passes Cindy her cup of coffee. 

“Did you sleep alright?” Christen asks Cindy as she leads her over to the sofa. 

Cindy nods, “You have the most beautiful views from here. I couldn’t believe how nice the sunrise looked this morning.” 

“What do you want to do before the game today, mom?” Tobin questions as she waits for the computer to load up. 

Cindy sits down on the other end of the sofa, Tobin pulling Christen back down next to her, leaning into her. 

They discuss their plans for the day, confirming them with Perry and Katie. Once they’ve organised to meet at Christen’s house, they get ready for their day, waking Sarah and Jeff up in the process. 

The family heads on a walk downtown, opting to walk along the beach. They have lunch at Mangiamo, deciding it was a safe option for the younger trio too. 

By the time they’re back at Christen’s house, they start getting ready for the game. Tobin wears an old “Heath” jersey from Jeffrey’s previous World Cup and Christen wears black skinny jeans with a white USA hoodie Tobin owned. 

The game against Mexico was tough, leading to the teams going head on head for the majority of the game. When the score is still 0-0 in the 84th minute, everyone is starting to get a bit anxious and there was a clear change of the atmosphere. Jeffrey is fouled shortly after, earning him a penalty kick. Jeffrey had practiced penalty kicks for as long as he could remember and played them like the back of his hand, but this was more than that. He  _ had  _ to score this one. He wanted to ensure that this team would start on a high, ahead of their big tournament coming up in England. As he got lined up behind the ball, preparing to take the shot, the whole stadium felt like it was silent. Christen felt the rush of adrenaline that she used to get when she played, and she couldn’t imagine what it must be like to play at such a high level - the pressure that must be on a professional player. 

Jeffrey had a powerful stride towards the ball, curling it beautifully so it lands directly in the top right corner. The goalkeeper tried to save it, but it was too high and powerful for him to reach it. 

  
The whole team piled on top of him in celebration and suddenly the game didn’t feel like a friendly anymore. It felt like something major and important. 

The Heath family all threw their hands up, jumping in excitement. Christen turned to Sarah, wrapping her up in a tight hug before turning back to hug Tobin and Cindy too. The camera quickly found the group in the stands, showing their celebration on the big screens as Jeffrey pointed at them once he got back up. 

The whistle blew at the end of the match, Mexico not having another opportunity to score after the goal. The players shook hands and made their way around the stands, signing pictures and taking selfies with the fans. 

  
Jeffrey signals for them to meet him around the back of the Stadium. They knew that it could take another hour or so, so they stayed seated, waiting for the crowd to slow down a bit. Christen stayed at the back with Perry, everyone else walking slightly ahead to have a quick stop at the restrooms and get another drink. 

“Christen!” She hears a male voice shout, recognising it right away. 

“Fuck”, Christen whispers to herself - coming to a stop and looking at Perry with wide eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it to me this long to write such a short chapter, oops.  
> -  
> Just use your imagination for the tournaments, camp dates and fixtures. I honestly just made them up as I went along.


	10. You Are The Music In Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a chance you'll find,  
> A little laughter,  
> Or a happy ever after.

“Christen!” She hears a male voice shout, recognising it right away. 

“Fuck”, Christen whispers to herself - coming to a stop and looking at Perry with wide eyes. 

She instantly knew who it was and any other time she might have been alright with this. But she really didn’t want to do this here - in front of other people, in front of Tobin’s family and she still didn’t think she was ready for this conversation. 

Perry gave her a concerned look, turning to see the rest of the family come to a stop a few feet behind them before she looks at the young male approaching them. 

“Hey,” He says softly, pulling Christen into a hug. 

Christen looked slightly confused, but returned the hug instantly - wrapping her arms around him tightly. 

“How are you?” She questioned, only wanting to make small talk and silently hoping for an opportunity to escape. 

The man teased her in a soft voice, “A lot better if you’d pick up the phone every now and then. We were all starting to think you’ve gone a-wall.” 

Christen forced a smile, which the man recognised as fake right away. “Seriously though, are you okay? We’ve been worried about you.” 

  
  
He pulls Christen into a side hug, making the angle slightly awkward. 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” Her smile is wider this time, because when she comes to think about it, she’s happier than she’s ever been since Christmas. 

A few feet behind them, Cindy turns to Tobin. “Who’s that?” Cindy wonders. 

Tobin shrugs, “I don’t have a clue.” 

  
  
“Ex-boyfriend maybe? She doesn’t look too pleased to see him and you said she used to have a boyfriend, right?” 

  
  
“Yeah she did,” Tobin nods, “but from what Chris told me, he acts like she filed a restraining order against him.” Cindy gives her a questioning look. “They saw each other again a couple weeks after he broke up with her and he wouldn’t go anywhere near her after Christen’s dad told him off.” 

Cindy turns her head to continue observing the trio. 

The guy looks back and forth between Christen and Perry, causing her to suddenly remember that Perry was still next to her. 

“Oh, um, Will this is Perry. Perry, this is Will, my brother-in-law.” Perry gives Will a smile and shakes his hand, starting to feel a little uncomfortable. 

Perry didn’t know what had happened with Christen’s family, but she could clearly see that the girl wasn’t too happy about the unexpected meeting. From what Tobin had told her, she hasn’t spoken to her parents or siblings since Christmas so there was clearly an issue. 

Christen could sense that Perry didn’t know what to do with herself, “Should I just meet you back with the others? I’ll only be a minute.” 

Perry nods and walks over to the group, squeezing Christen’s shoulder as she left. 

“Is everything alright?” Tobin asks as Perry approaches them. 

She stands close to Tobin, quietly speaking to her. “That’s her brother-in-law.” 

Tobin stayed rooted in her spot, watching over the pair from afar. Her instinct was to walk over to Christen, wrap an arm around her and protect her, but she knew that she had to let Christen do this herself. She knew that Christen had to do this herself and at her own pace, and she didn’t want to pressure the younger girl by having her girlfriend stand next to her or cause her more anxiety by having to introduce Tobin. 

“What was Christmas all about?” Will gets straight to the point. After all these years, he could read Christen like an open book and she was like the sister he never had, so it didn’t take long for him to question her lack of presence. 

“Did mom say anything?” She dodges the question. 

Will shakes his head, “No. When I came later on no one really spoke to each other. It was quiet - I’ve never seen your household like that.” Christen nods, “I asked Tyler about it later but she didn’t know anything. She said that her and Channing asked, but Stacy told them to drop it.” 

Christen diverts her eyes to the floor, feeling a hint of guilt and sadness. 

“They’re worried too, you know. They both love you so much and I’ve seen Tyler cry so many times over the past few weeks. She doesn’t have a clue what’s happened but she just wants to be there for you.”   
  
“It’s just not that simple.” Christen states.

“I’m sure it’s not and I’d never want you to feel uncomfortable, but call her. She even yelled at Cody after you left, trying to find out why he was treating you like that.”

  
  
She lifts her head with shock, “Tyler yelled at dad?” 

  
  
Will nods, “Mhm. I promise you she just wants to help and won’t get mad at you.”

  
  
Christen sighs in thought. 

“Chris, they’ve called you so many times. Why haven’t you picked up?” His voice is filled with concern, not annoyance.

Christen pauses, trying to drop the conversation. “I should probably get going, they’re waiting for me.” She pointed at the group behind her. 

Will looks back at the group, nodding and acknowledging that she was going to avoid the question. “Please promise me you’ll consider it?”    
  


Christen reluctantly agrees, saying she’ll call soon, before making her way towards the group. Tobin looks at her with worried eyes when she reaches them. Christen apologizes for holding them up and they start walking towards the back of the stadium again. 

Tobin stays behind for a few steps to intertwine their fingers. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

  
  
“Later?”, Christen requests with a nod. 

Tobin leans in to kiss Christen’s cheek lightly. They wait for Jeffrey to come outside and head downtown Santa Monica for dinner by the beach. Usually the team would celebrate after a match, but since it was only a friendly, he was now free from camp and there were no team meetings scheduled for the evening. 

As Christen and Tobin tuck themselves into bed that night, Tobin decides to bring up the earlier events, trying to gauge her feelings about it. “Who was that earlier?” 

Christen tucks herself into Tobin, wrapping her arms around her tightly. “Will. He’s Tyler’s husband, but he’s been like my brother since the day I met him.” 

  
  
Tobin could sense that there was more Christen wanted to say, so she just lingers in the silence and let the girl speak at her own pace. 

  
  
“He said that they’ve all been really worried about me. Mom didn’t say anything about what happened on Christmas apparently and Tyler’s been trying to find out. She even shouted at my Dad.” 

  
  
“She did?” Tobin asks with surprise. 

Christen nods from where her head is on Tobin’s chest. 

“Yeah. I know that they want to be there for me and want me to speak to them, but I’m scared Tobs. What if they have the same reaction as my parents did? I can’t go through that again.” 

“I know you are, and no one should ever have to go through that in the first place, but think about how happy you would be if they’d support you. There’s no way of knowing how they’re going to react, but I think you’ll feel better once you know.” Tobin kisses Christen’s forehead, “I don’t know them so I can’t tell you what they’ll say, but from what you’ve told me about them, I have a good feeling about this.” 

Christen props herself up on her elbow, moving off of Tobin. She casually slings one leg over Tobin’s hips as Tobin’s hands find Christen’s waist. Leaning down, she captures Tobin’s lips with her own. Christen kisses her slowly and softly at first, slotting her tongue into Tobin’s mouth and deepening the kiss after a long moment. They kissed unhurried, like they usually would in the mornings or on the couch, but currently couldn’t due to the family being around the house. 

  
  
Tobin pulls back once they were both out of breath, placing a few soft pecks on Christen’s lips. She pulls Christen further down and lifted her head slightly, to meet her lips again. 

This time Tobin’s tongue enters Christen’s mouth gently. Christen can feel the butterflies in her, just like every time Tobin and her kiss like this, and she knew that she  _ never  _ wants to stop feeling this way. When the kiss gets too heated, Christen places a short and soft peck on Tobin’s lips before resting her head down again. She lifts her head again to see Tobin pouting slightly, hands roaming under Christen’s shirt. 

“We’re not having sex when your parents are down the hall, babe.” Christen shakes her head with a smirk. 

Tobin frowns further, making Christen laugh. She leans in closely to Christen, whispering in her ear. “But I want you  _ so bad  _ baby.” 

Christen bites down on her lip, trying her hardest not to groan - knowing it would only encourage Tobin. “Please. Just let me make you feel good. I promise, I’ll be quiet.” 

She moves her head away, trying to remain serious. “We both know that you’re not that quiet.” 

“I can be  _ very  _ quiet,” Tobin insists, “Besides, don’t you want me to make you feel good?” 

Tobin slowly starts kissing down Christen’s neck, causing Christen to lean her head back. 

She regains her strength after a moment, “Tobin, I’m serious.” 

  
  
“I’m serious too.” Tobin speaks onto Christen’s skin, sucking at her pulse. 

Tobin’s hands sneak their way further under Christen’s shirt, reaching up to her bare chest. When she sees that Christen wasn’t going to give, she pouts and accepts the defeat. 

“Okay, fine.” Christen laughs at her girlfriend’s upset look. “Can I at least have a good night kiss?”

  
  
Christen leans in, giving her a sweet peck before finding her usual spot lying half on top of Tobin. 

\-------

It didn’t take Christen long to cave. In fact, it was the very next morning when Tobin managed to convince her to take a shower together before everyone else woke up. Afterwards they got ready for the day, still managing to be the first ones in the kitchen. 

Christen was sitting at the kitchen island as Tobin passed her a cup of coffee. She was fiddling with her phone, staring at it with such an intensity that her eyes could burn a hole through it. 

“What are you thinking?” 

Christen takes a heavy breath, “I think I want to call Tyler and Channing. I just think I need to hear what they have to say about it all.” 

Tobin hadn’t wanted to put any pressure on Christen, but had felt this was well overdue. After some light encouragement from Tobin, Christen left to call Tyler and Channing from her front porch. She settled for calling a group FaceTime chat, thinking it would be the easiest way to gauge their reaction and speak to both at the same time. 

“OMG, Chris!” Tyler cheers with a beaming smile as she picks up the call. 

“Hey, Ty!” Christen returns in a cheery voice, trying to cover up her nerves. 

“Hey, Chris.” Channing joins, giving them both a wave. 

“How are you?” Tyler wonders, tilting her head slightly. 

Christen gives a tight-lipped smile. “I’m okay...I saw Will yesterday.” She mentions after a small moment of silence. 

“He mentioned that.” Tyler confirms, “He said that there was something wrong. Are you ok?” 

Christen sighs, “Um, yeah. I actually wanted to talk to you both about that, but maybe not over FaceTime?” 

“Why don’t you come over for dinner Chris? We could meet at mine tonight?” Channing suggests.

Christen considers it hesitantly for a moment. She felt bad leaving Tobin’s family for a meal with her sisters, but she wanted them to have some time alone anyway. She figured that she’d just agree now and then mention it to Tobin. Christen knew they didn’t have any plans for today anyway, and she’d just have to cancel with her sisters if they decided to make some fixed all-day plans. 

“Yeah, sure. That should work, I think.” Christen agrees.

The girls confirm their time and plans, hanging up with a goodbye. Christen pats back inside to the kitchen, seeing that Tobin had started making breakfast. 

“They invited me to dinner tonight. I told them I’d come, but if we have plans or anything I can just cancel. I don’t want your family to think that I--” She gets cut off by Tobin’s lips. 

“Stop, Chris.” Tobin says through a small giggle, “This is important, ok? I want you to do this for yourself, so go. My family is still here for another four days and we get to have you for most of the day.” 

  
  
So, this is how she found herself in the familiar driveway later that night - hands shaking slightly from nerves and a wine bottle sitting on the passenger seat next to her. She walked up the driveway, knocking softly on the door. 

The door hadn’t even opened to the full extent before she was being wrapped up in a tight hug by Channing. “I’ve missed you so much.” She breathed into Christen’s ear. 

Christen just tightened her grip, shutting her eyes. They held on tightly for a moment, hearing someone clear their throat behind them. Channing turned around to find Tyler facing them with a smirk. “I need a hug too.”   
  


Channing and Christen laughed as Christen opened her arms to Tyler. “I’ve been so worried about you, Chris.” 

Christen shook her head slightly, “I’m sorry. You don’t have to worry about me though. I can take care of myself.” 

Tyler threw her a questioning look, “That’s debatable. Plus you’ll always be my baby sister.”

  
  
Christen slapped her arm lightly, looking over at Channing. “Channing’s the real baby here.” 

  
  
The younger sister pouted slightly, folding her arms across her body. 

Christen and Tyler helped Channing finish making dinner, sitting down at the round table to eat. They just caught up about work, mostly simple and small talk. Channing and Tyler didn’t want to push Christen by wanting answers about Christmas, but they were starting to grow a little impatient. 

“Chris, what was Christmas about?” Channing asked after they’d sat down on the couch with a glass of wine in hand. 

Christen knew it would be easy to just speak the truth right away, but her nerves were still at the forefront. “I, I told mom and dad something a few months ago.” Christen looked down at her fingers, playing with the ring on her middle finger - one that Tobin gave her as a promise ring. 

A promise that she’d always be there to support Christen, even when she felt like she had no one. She’d given it to Christen as a late birthday present. Christen still had some fears after her last relationship, being scared that she was in this more than Tobin or that Tobin would just get up and leave one day - even if Christen knew deep down that Tobin would never do that. Tobin had been well aware of Christen’s feelings and wanted to give her something that would remind her that she’ll always have Tobin. No matter what.

“They didn’t take it very well and started shouting at me that day. Believe it or not, it was a lot worse than on Christmas.” She let out a sarcastic chuckle, “It was stupid of me to think that coming over for Christmas was a good idea. It’s just that -”

  
  
“-it’s Christmas.” Channing finished for her with an understanding nod. Christen let out a quiet agreement. 

Tyler looked at her carefully, “What did you tell them?” 

  
  
Christen felt a warm tear run down her cheek, her words stumbling as she spoke. “I told them that I’m bisexual.” 

  
  
She kept her head down, too afraid to see the look of disgust on her sister’s faces. Instead of that, she felt skinny arms wrap around her, pulling her in tightly. 

“They kicked you out because you told them you’re bi?” Channing asked, not even trying to hide the confusion in her voice. 

Christen nodded, “Dad said they don’t want dykes in the family. They--”

  
  
Tyler pulled her in closer, “It’s okay. Take your time.” 

“They just said that I couldn’t be part of the family anymore and to get out.” Christen sighed, “I guess they think it looks bad for them.” 

“Oh, Chris. I love you so much.” Tyler shed her own tears, rubbing her younger sister’s back.

“You’re not upset? Disgusted? I don’t know, weirded out?” Christen looked between her sisters. 

Channing shook her head, “Why would we be. It doesn’t matter, Chris. This doesn’t change who you are and it doesn’t matter as long as you are happy.”

  
  
“I love you both so much.” Christen wrapped her arms around their shoulders, returning the hug. “I’m sorry for ignoring you. I was just scared, I guess.” 

  
  
“Channing owes me $50 though.” Tyler laughs as she sticks her hand out. 

  
  
Christen throws her a confused look. “We betted on this back when you were in College.” 

“You betted on this? How? What?” She looked back and forth, trying to figure out what was going on. 

Channing just laughs, “It really wasn’t that hard to figure out, Chris. We’ve known for ages.” 

  
  
Tyler nods in agreement. “Channing thought you’d come out during College and I said that you wouldn’t realize until after so we decided to bet on it.” 

  
  
Christen just laughs at the two. “You’re both idiots. I hope you know that.” 

“You never did explain to us why you were at a men’s game though. Since when do you watch men’s soccer?” Tyler asks once their laughter settles. 

Christen blushes, biting her lip. “Umm, my girlfriend’s brother is on the team.” 

“Wow. Hold up! Did you just say GIRLFRIEND?” Channing squeals. 

Christen shrugged with a smile on her face. 

“Okay, spill. Right now.” Channing jumped up and down like a little child - clearly excited at the news. 

Tyler joined in, “I never thought I’d see the day where Christen Annemarie Press is in a relationship again.” 

“I didn’t either,” Christen laughed, “it just kind of happened and I certainly wasn’t going to let anyone else have her.” 

“Oh my God, look at you.” Tyler gushed, “You’re like a little lovesick puppy.” 

  
  
“I need details. Who is she?” Channing shushed Tyler and turned to Christen. 

Christen felt a little overwhelmed at the situation, but it didn’t take her long to come up with a million and one details about Tobin and why she’s so amazing. 

“This is so exciting. I can’t believe this.” Channing pulled Christen into a tight hug. 

“She sounds great, Chris. How long have you been together?” Tyler chipped in. 

She gave a beaming smile at her older sister, “Just over three months.” 

Channing laughed, “Oh, you’re totally whipped Chris.” 

  
  
“I am not”, Christen frowned slightly, knowing very well she’d do anything to make Tobin happy. 

“It wasn’t in a bad way. It’s cute!”    
  


“As much as I love you both, I should probably get home. Tobin’s family is visiting and staying at mine so I don’t want to seem rude by staying out too late.” 

Channing and Tyler gave Christen a warm hug, letting her drive the forty minutes back to her house. She feels a flood of relief wash over her as she walks to her car, beaming when she waves at her sisters whilst pulling out of the driveway. 

  
Perry, Katie and their families had just left Christen’s house for the night as the rest of the family sat down in the living room. Tobin checked her phone when she curled up on the small reclining armchair, seeing if she had any text messages. Usually she’d be worried that Christen hadn’t texted her by now, but she figures that this might be good news. 

“Have you heard anything from Christen?” Cindy asks when she sees Tobin put her phone away again. 

Tobin shakes her head, “No. That’s probably good news though, right?” 

Cindy nods, “I’d think so.” 

Jeffrey speaks up conscientiously, “What happened with her and her family? I know it’s not really my place but Perry mentioned that she seemed quite tense after you guys ran into her brother-in-law at my game.” 

  
  
“They don’t like the fact that she’s dating me. I mean not me specifically, they don’t even know that we’re together because that started when we were friends, but just girls in general.” Tobin gives a sad sight, “They lost it the day she told them and then she went home on Christmas and it got even worse. It’s just not fair, she doesn’t deserve that and she’s been close with her parents all her life so it hit her really hard.” 

Jeff gave his daughter a sad smile, “When did this happen?”

“Um, September I think. She came over to mine that night so we were already really close friends by that point.” 

“She’s really nice, Tobin.” Sarah commented from where she was sitting with her feet resting on Jeffrey’s lap. 

Tobin smiles and blushes as the group agrees. She turns more serious again, “I know you won’t, but please don’t mention anything about tonight when Chris gets back. It took a lot for her to even call them, nevermind go tonight.” 

  
  
“Of course we wouldn’t.” Echoes through the room. 

When Christen walks through the front door, Sarah, Jeffrey and Tobin are the only ones left in the living room. Christen takes her shoes off, dumping them by the entrance, and takes her jacket off. She makes herself a glass of water before going to greet the group. 

Tobin leans her head backwards over the edge of the couch she moved to. “Hey, you.” 

“Hey,” Christen leans down to give Tobin a kiss, sitting down next to Tobin. “How was your afternoon?” 

  
  
“Good. We went to the beach again and then had a movie night here.” Jeffrey smiled at her kindly. 

“What movie? Keep in mind, this is make it or break it.” 

“Home Alone” Jeff shrugs through a laugh, “I tried telling them it’s been too long since Christmas to watch it, but apparently it wasn’t.”

“It’s never too late to watch Home Alone.” Christen shakes her head in denial. 

Sarah laughs at her reaction, “You’ve totally watched it in summer before, haven’t you?” 

Christen shrugs, laughing along. “Maybe…”

  
  
They stay on the couch for a while. Christen has been enjoying spending time with Tobin’s family, loving how caring they are. Cindy had taken Christen under her wing right away, even pulling the younger girl aside without anyone elses knowledge and telling her that she was there to support her. Christen shed some light tears of thankfulness when Cindy told her that she was a part of their family now and to simply text her if she ever needed some ‘motherly advice’. 

“You were right by the way,” Christen says as she exits the bathroom.

Tobin fistpumps herself jokingly, “I love being right...what was I right about?”

“My sisters.” 

“I’m guessing it went better than expected?” 

  
  
Christen nods, “They were really nice about it and turns out they bet on this before I even left for College.” 

  
  
“They did not, oh my gosh. That’s so funny.” 

  
  
Christen tells Tobin about dinner with her sisters. They get a good laugh out of Tyler and Channing’s interrogation about Tobin and talk more seriously about Christen’s christmas. Tobin asks Christen to tell her more about her sisters and their childhood. She’s heard a fair share about how close the trio was, but was hesitant to bring it up after the ordeal with her family. Tobin knew that Christen most likely wouldn’t mind, but she didn’t want to unnecessarily upset her so she let Christen dictate when they spoke about her family. 

Later that night, when Christen turns towards Tobin after shutting the light off, she stops for a short moment and just takes in the hazel-colored eyes she’s grown to love. 

“Tobs,” Christen whispers. 

Tobin lets out a tired hum, letting Christen know she was listening. 

“I’m in love with you.” Christen says quietly, waiting for Tobin’s reaction.

“I’m in love with you too.” 

She kisses Christen softly, pulling her closer and drifting off to sleep with a smile on her face. 

\-------

“Right buddy, what flavor do you want?” Tobin asks the little boy in her arms. 

Cole gave her a cheeky grin, “Chocolate.” 

“Chocolate sounds great! Chris?” She turns her head. 

“I think I’m gonna have mint chocolate chip, what about you?” 

“Cookies and cream,” Tobin comments easily, “obviously…” 

“Obviously!” Christen rolls her eyes as if that hadn’t been clear earlier. 

They order their ice cream, finding a small booth to sit in and eat it after Christen pays. It was Tobin’s family's last full day and everyone was exhausted from the hike they went on the day before, so most of the family decided to take an afternoon nap. When Cole pouted, saying he wasn’t tired and wanted to play, Christen and Tobin easily offered to take him for some ice cream and to the park which he happily agreed with, rushing them out the door. 

The park was relatively quiet, uncommon for a warm and sunny California day. Christen and Tobin only had three more days until they were back at work, so they wanted to make the most out of their time off whilst they still could. 

Christen and Tobin took turns chasing Cole around the park and playing hide and seek upon his request. When they were all tired from running around, they found a bench to sit at, leaving Cole to play within sight on the climbing frame. 

“Babe, can I ask you something?” Tobin turned her head quietly, wanting to ask Christen about what she’d had on her mind all day.

“Of course,” Christen answered easily. 

“Do you think you want kids someday?” 

“For sure!” Christen answered easily, “I love kids and have always known that I want some in the future. Do you?” 

Tobin smiled contently, “Yeah, definitely.” 

She rests her head down on Christen’s shoulder. They both knew it was way too early to think about children, but they were more than content knowing that was ahead of them in the future - hopefully with each other. 

“Aunty Toto!” 

“What’s up buddy?” 

Cole came running up to them, crashing into Tobin’s knees. Tobin lifted him onto her lap, tickling him until he was in fits of giggles. 

“Will you come and play with me on the swings please?” Cole requested once he stopped laughing. 

“Sure, let’s go. I’ll race you, ready?” She stands up, already taking a few steps forward. 

“Wait!” Cole says suddenly, causing Tobin to look at him in confusion. 

He turns around, holding his hand out to Christen. 

  
  
“Will you come play too, Aunty Chrissy?” 

  
  
_ Aunty Chrissy.  _

If Christen hadn’t already adored this boy before, her heart surely melted on the spot. 

She doesn’t think she’s ever smiled as widely as she was in that moment. Looking up, she sees Tobin with a grin just as wide plastered on her face. 

Christen grabs his hand, tugging on it lightly so they both start running. “Come on, we’ve got to beat Tobin!” 

Cole giggles happily, running the fastest he can, feeling more than proud when him and Christen are the first ones to reach the swings. 

He hops on the swing as Christen stands back, just watching him for a short moment. Tobin walks up behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist as she leans in to kiss Christen’s cheek. “I think my heart just melted.” Tobin said with a smile, moving to kiss Christen on the lips before taking her place at the back of the swing and pushing Cole. 

  
And for the first time, Christen  _ truly  _ thinks that she might still have a full family after all. 


	11. Gotta Go My Own Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't wanna leave it all behind,  
> But I get my hopes up and I watch them fall,  
> Every time.

The thing about spending the holidays together is that once you’re in a routine, it’s hard to get back out of that routine. 

Christen had been dreading sleeping alone again ever since she realised how close it was until they went back to work. Tobin wasn’t much better, waking up on the last Sunday before work, wondering how she’s going to sleep without the warmth from the green-eyed girl next to her. 

They weren’t dramatic about it, at all. No. Most definitely not. Just like they definitely didn’t walk into work with frowns on their faces due to the lack of sleep they got the night before. 

Still, Christen and Tobin had agreed to attempt and fall back into their normal routine once they were back to normal. They didn’t want to move too fast in their relationship, so kept the nights they slept in the same place to the weekends. 

This definitely didn’t stop either of them from spending most of their work nights together, even if it was only for a few hours, with one or two nights apart for good measure. There wasn’t an actual reason for this apart from wanting to still be their own people with their own interests and not rely on each other past the point of a newer relationship. 

Working together meant they already spend large amounts of time together - not that either girl would ever turn that down - and they were just cautious of not moving too fast. They always valued the time they spent together, treasuring every moment. 

Christen thought that they were making great progress in their relationship, growing closer every day and still being Christen and Tobin as individuals. But that seemed to all change one day. 

“So, how are you and your girl?”, Julie smirked over at Tobin after Christen left the office to teach. Tobin and Julie were both free for the lesson, so they tended to get work done together in the office. 

Tobin stopped typing and turned to face Julie, “Me and my, huh?” 

“You and your girlfriend, Tobin?” Julie stated, as if it was obvious. 

“I don’t...what?” 

“Christen and you. Aren’t you guys together?” 

Tobin panicked until she remembered that she still had to answer Julie, “Oh, we’re not, we’re, we’re just close friends.” 

Julie looked a bit taken aback by the comment, “Oh. I didn’t realise, sorry. I didn’t mean to assume or anything, I just genuinely thought you were together.”

“Easy mistake, don’t worry about it.” Tobin internally cringes at the lie, but knows it’s probably for the best. 

The two remain in slightly awkward silence for the rest of the hour, both just doing their individual work. Christen returns for lunch, expecting to have it with Tobin, but is surprised when Tobin tells her that she’s busy and already had something to eat. Usually, Tobin would still tag along with Christen or they’d sit in the office chatting whilst Christen eats her lunch. Today though, Tobin insisted that Christen can’t stay and that she wanted to get her work done in peace. 

Christen didn’t put up a fight, thinking that Tobin might just be stressed or busy. Instead, she went to the cafeteria and sat down on a table with Julie. Christen’s eyes lit up when she saw Tobin walk in fifteen minutes later, hoping to finally spend some time with the girl. 

  
  
“You’re drooling Chris,” Julie laughed at Christen’s heart-eyes, following her gaze to see she was looking at Tobin. “I think you should tell her.” 

Christen’s head whipped back towards Julie’s direction, “Tell her what?” 

Julie eyes rolled to the back of her head, “That you’re hopelessly in love with her and think she’s super hot.” 

  
  
Christen scoffed, thinking it was a joke. 

“I bet she’d be good in bed,” Julie continued as an afterthought, shaking her head when she realised what she had just said. 

Christen blushed, causing Julie to choke on her drink. 

“Oh my God, have you guys had sex?” Julie whisper-shouted, making Christen plead her to keep her voice down. 

“Um, I mean I don’t know what your's and Zach's relationship is like, but mine do involve sex, Jules.” Christen laughed at the odd situation. 

“Wait what? You guys are- But Tobin said-” 

Christen tilted her head, “What did Tobin say?” 

  
  
“I, um, I asked her earlier about you two and she said you guys aren’t together.” 

“Are you sure you didn’t just misunderstand her?” Christen wondered.

“No, I’m sure. She seemed really confused when I asked her if you guys were together so I just apologized for assuming that, after she said you guys were just friends and we pretty much left it at that.” 

Christen’s face dropped, “Oh.” 

She looked around to see where Tobin had gone, seeing that she was sitting at a different table with Alex and Servando.  _ She always sits with me.  _

Before Julie could question her on Christen’s reaction, they had to head back to prepare for their lessons. Tobin had a number of meetings in the afternoon, so they didn’t see each other again for the rest of the day. Normally, Christen would wait for Tobin’s meeting to finish but she was confused at Tobin’s earlier behavior, so decided to head home instead. 

Her head was running wild the whole ride home.  _ Did I do something wrong? Is she mad at me?  _

She was just about to start cooking dinner when she received a text from Tobin.

**Tobs :** Hey babe, I just got home. I brought some take-out for us, do you want to come over?

**Chris :** Yeah, sure. I’ll be there in 15.

Christen figured that Tobin would tell her if there was a problem or she’d done anything wrong. She grabbed her keys and started driving to Tobin’s house, hoping the older girl would offer her an explanation. 

Tobin opened the door with a beaming smile, pulling Christen into her. Christen was instantly confused at her behavior, which showed no signs of the way Tobin acted earlier. They got half way through their dinner, eating on the couch, without Tobin saying a word. Christen couldn’t hold the question in anymore, still confused at the change. 

“Did you get all your work done at lunch?” 

  
  
“Eh, yeah...I did.” Tobin looked surprised at the question. 

“I spoke to Julie at lunch.”

  
  
“You did?”

  
  
Christen nodded. She was trying to keep her voice soft and calm, not wanting to start a fight. 

“Did you actually have some work to do or did you just not want to spend any time with me?”

Tobin tilted her head innocently, “What are you talking about?”

“Well, Julie mentioned something at lunch that was quite interesting and then you came in and sat down next to Alex and Serv.” 

  
  
“I can spend some time with other people too, Chris.” Tobin scoffed, “That doesn’t mean I’m avoiding you or don’t want to spend time with you.”

  
  
“I know you can and I’d never have a problem with that, but that doesn’t mean you can just ignore me.” Her voice was more stern now, “But I guess you can, because we’re just friends so what does it matter.” 

“Huh?” 

  
  
“Tobin don’t play dumb with me, I don’t have time for that. How stupid was I to actually think that I could mean something to someone...that I could mean something to you.” 

“You do mean something to me, Chris. Of course you do.”

  
  
“Do I though? Do I actually?” Christen’s voice broke slightly, “ When you asked me to be your girlfriend, was that real? Did that mean something to you too, or did you just feel bad for me because I hadn’t been in a relationship in years.”

  
  
“What? No, of course not Christen. You know I was only in casual and not actual relationships before I met you.” 

  
  
“So is that what it was? The fact that I probably wouldn’t have had sex with you whilst we were casual so you had to make it official?” 

“Christen, what are you talking about?” Tobin says, trying not to get worked up or yell. 

“I thought you actually wanted to be with me. I thought you meant it when you said I make you happy and that you love me.” Christen whispers in a broken tone. 

“I-” Tobin starts before Christen cuts her off. “Don’t Tobin, just don’t.” 

Tobin sinks back into the couch, looking defeated. 

“I think it’s best that we put an end to it now if you’re too ashamed to be with me. I can’t keep doing this and I can’t have my heart broken further down the line.” 

  
  
“But Chris-” 

“Just stop, Tobin. It doesn’t matter anymore.” 

Tobin was growing frustrated at Christen cutting her off, “But I’m not-” 

“I was serious about you, Tobin. I thought that maybe you were serious about me too.” They let the uncomfortable silence linger for a short moment, as Tobin is trying to get her head to catch up with what has just happened. “I should go.” 

Christen’s bottom lip is starting to tremble, silent tears running down her face, as she moves forwards slightly and reaches out to Tobin’s cheek. She leans forward, pressing her lips to Tobin’s firmly. 

“I love you”, she whispers against Tobin’s lips as she rests their foreheads together with closed eyes, and for some reason, it feels like a goodbye. 

Tobin throws her head back on the couch when she hears the door shut, covering her eyes and letting the tears fall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm sorry. Second of all, apologies for the short chapter. I'll try and update again before Tuesday.


	12. A Billion Sorrys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my fault, my bad.  
> If I said a million sorrys,  
> How about a billion sorrys?

They don’t talk. 

Not for the full weekend, not on monday morning and not throughout the day. 

Tobin knows she messed up, but all she wants is a chance to explain. A chance to show Christen that she does  _ love  _ her and that she didn’t mean anything bad by saying they were just friends. 

But Christen doesn’t reach out to her. So Tobin doesn’t either. 

Christen even turns up five minutes before her first meeting on Monday morning, which is a Christen no one has ever seen before. Usually, she’d turn up at least half-an-hour early to prepare and most days even another forty-five minutes early to spend some time with Tobin. 

Tobin still turns up early.

There’s a small spark of hope inside of her that Christen will turn up at that time too - to prepare or maybe to look for Tobin and give them another chance to talk. 

The lack of sleep isn’t helping Tobin either. Her head is pounding from the headache she has and her nausea isn’t much better. She knows she should eat something more than the single grilled cheese sandwich she’s been having per day, but she can’t bring herself to eat. 

Christen walks in looking put together at first glance. Her straightened hair is up in a high ponytail and her natural make-up is applied. But if you know Christen and look closely enough - the rings under her slightly bloodshot eyes are easy to spot. Not to mention the glimmer of sadness in her green eyes. 

The younger girl seems to be avoiding Tobin at all costs on Monday. She leaves the office every time Tobin has a free lesson, she eats lunch by herself in an empty classroom and she gets her bag out of the office so quickly at the end of the day, that Tobin doesn’t even see her before the door slams shut again. 

Tobin tries to find her. She walks around at lunch, looking for Christen. She’s in the office more than necessary, hoping that Christen will be working there too. And she makes sure she’s also there before Christen has left. Despite this, she still doesn’t get a chance to as much as ask for them to talk. 

It hurts Christen to walk away from Tobin, to walk away without a second glance and to not speak to her all day - but she doesn’t know what to do with herself. Her weekend was spent in bed, not eating and not sleeping either, simply crying and wishing she would have given Tobin an opportunity to speak her thoughts in the first place.  _ Why did she even say that we’re just friends?  _

As soon as she gets in from work, she gets into bed again. She tries not to think about the fact that she’s missing Tobin more than anything and that she already regrets what she said. Christen knows that she took it too far when she told Tobin it was over - she knows she should have at least let her talk - but it brought all the emotions back from her past relationship, and she couldn’t let herself break all over again. Yet here she was, in more pain than the day Michael broke up with her. 

She ends up calling Kelley, not knowing who else to speak to. Kelley agrees to come over, unsure what Christen wanted to talk about. She’d not seen much of Christen throughout the day, but she saw the change of demeanor in both Tobin and Christen. Especially, when Tobin came to her, asking if she knew where Christen was. 

“You look like you haven’t slept in days,” Kelley comments bluntly as she makes herself comfortable on the couch. She’d seen her friend not look her finest earlier, but seeing her without make-up was a thousand times worse. 

Christen sarcastically scoffs, “That’s probably because I haven’t.” 

“Talk to me.” Kelley demands softly, knowing Christen didn’t call her over for no reason. 

“Tobin and I had a fight.” Christen opens her mouth to continue, but quickly closes it again. 

“Okay,” Kelley drags out her wording, “What did you have a fight about?” 

  
  
“Her saying we were close friends and not dating.” 

Kelley’s eyebrows scrunch together, “Did she say that to you?” 

  
  
Christen shook her head. 

“Who did she say it to?” 

  
  
“Julie.”

  
  
“Why did she say this?” Kelley asks, trying to puzzle the pieces together in her head. 

Christen shrugs, “I don’t know.”

  
  
“Did you ask her why?”    
  


“No,” Christen shakes her head.

“Chris, you’re gonna have to tell me the full story. Start from the beginning, because I’m already lost.”

  
  
Christen tells Kelley about Tobin avoiding her at lunch time and speaking to Julie. She tells her that she left without talking to Tobin and was at home when she got Tobin’s text. Christen mentions how she went over to Tobin’s house and she brought it up and then they started arguing about it. She tells Kelley that Tobin acted like she didn’t know what Christen was talking about and then insisted that Christen means something to her. 

“So what you’re telling me is, Julie told you something Tobin said, so then you went over to Tobin’s house and brought it up, blaming it on her and then didn’t give her a chance to explain?” 

“It wasn’t like that, I just didn’t want to hear her stupid apology when she probably wouldn’t mean it anyway.” 

“Give me one reason why she wouldn’t mean it, Chris.” 

  
  
“Because Michael never meant any of his apologies.”

  
  
Kelley was growing frustrated with her friend, trying to be supportive and help her make the right decision, but couldn’t hold her opinion in anymore. 

“Don’t you even dare to begin comparing those two.” Kelley said in a stern voice, making Christen flinch slightly. “I love you Chris, you know I do, but you’re being a bit of an idiot right now. Comparing Tobin to Michael is such an insult towards her and one she definitely doesn’t deserve.”   


Christen sinks down in her seat, making herself feel even smaller. 

“What did you say to her?” Kelley raised one eyebrow towards her. 

Christen bit her lip, knowing her friend wasn’t going to be happy about Christen’s break out. Christen had regretted it since the moment she left Tobin’s house, but there was still a tiny feeling inside of her that was terrified that Tobin doesn’t feel the same way - at least not to the extent of Christen’s feelings.

“I might have said that she’s only dating me for sex and that she was lying to me about loving me.” Christen took a deep breath, “And that I was stupid to think I mean something to her.”

“Chris,” Kelley let out a sad sigh. 

“I think I might have broken up with her too.” 

“You think?” She asked in a confused tone.

“Well, I said that we should put an end to it now because she’s ashamed to be with me.” 

“I want you to be honest with me,” Kelley stated as Christen met her eyes, “When has Tobin ever made you feel like she doesn’t love you or care about you.” 

Christen looks down at her hands, remembering when Tobin gave her the piece of jewellery sitting on her middle finger. “Never.”

  
  
Kelley spots the ring on her finger then, “Where did you get that ring?” 

“Tobin,” Christen whispers. “She gave me it as a promise ring.”

  
  
“A promise for what?”

  
  
“That I will always have her, no matter what.” 

Kelley’s heart breaks for her friend, “You know what you said will have shattered Tobin’s heart, right?”

  
  
Christen lets out a deep sigh, “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“Why did you say those things to her?” 

“Because there’s still a small part of me that’s scared that Tobin’s feelings for me aren’t as strong as mine for her. What if she just gets up and leaves me?” She spoke in a small voice.

  
  
“Have you told her that? She’s not stupid, she knows that your feelings from the past won’t just go away, but did you make that clear to her and have a proper conversation with her about it? One where you sit down and talk about all of it and don’t just mention it briefly.”

  
  
Christen shakes her head.

“Then how is she supposed to know, Chris?” Kelley asked softly, “You have to tell her how you’re feeling. She can’t read your mind, as much as you want her to. She’s proven so many times that she wants to be here for you, even when you guys were just friends, so you have to open up and let her. That’s the only way those feelings are ever going to go away.”

“And Chris, you have to talk to Tobin and let her explain why she said what she said. Just like she can’t read your mind, you can’t read hers. You don’t know why she did what she did. I mean, have you ever spoken about telling people at work that you’re dating?”

  
  
“No,” Christen admits, “but you know, so why should it be any different with everyone else?”

Kelley gives her a soft smile, “Because I’ve known you for years. I have a key to your house Chris, you text my mom all of the time, we lived together in College, I knew you when you dated your ex, I know your family, and I was the first person you told about as much as liking Tobin. Tobin knows that and she knows that we might as well be sisters, so she knows that I’m one of the first people you’d speak to. Plus, I have a girlfriend so there’s like a zero to minus five chance that I’d ever have a problem with you dating a woman.”

“Why are you always right?” Christen asks as she drops her head onto her hand. 

“Look, I think you already know what you have to do, but you have to know that I don’t think Tobin would ever hurt you. At least not on purpose. Fights happen in relationships, it’s normal and healthy that way, but you can’t run from her every time just because you’re scared of the past. Tobin is a completely different person and it’s obvious how much she loves you just by seeing the way she looks at you.” Kelley moves to pull Christen into a hug, “Don’t let her be the one that got away - not when you’re both head-over-heels in love with each other and this could be something so great!”

Christen nods from where her head is resting on Kelley’s shoulder, “I’m so in love with her Kel.”

  
  
Kelley laughs, “So don’t tell me that, tell her.”

  
  
“I will soon.” Christen agrees, “I promise.”

  
  
“Just don’t make her wait too long.” Kelley warns Christen.

\-------

Tuesday doesn’t look much different to Monday. 

Christen still stays clear out of Tobin’s way, whilst Tobin still tries to find time with Christen without overwhelming or pressuring her. 

One thing has changed though. Christen made herself a promise - a promise that she’d ask Tobin to talk before she went home that night. 

She almost breaks her promise, out of fear that Tobin didn’t want to and that she was too late. Kelley’s words from the night before run through her head,  _ don’t let her be the one that got away.  _

As Christen walks into the office to collect her bag, she notices that Tobin is still sitting at her desk. She looks worse today - more tired, if it was even possible. 

Christen clears her throat softly when she checks that no one else is in the office, “Hey” 

“Hey,” Tobin responds cautiously.

“I was wondering if you were free at some point, so we could talk? If you want to? I mean, if you don’t then that’s okay too, but…” Christen rambles on as Tobin puts a hand on her shoulder to stop her. 

“I’d like that.” Tobin nods, a glimmer of fear and hurt clear in her eyes.

Christen smiles lightly at that, “When are you free?” 

  
  
“How about tonight?” Tobin said in a hopeful tone. 

“Tonight works for me. How long are you going to be here?” 

  
  
“I’m actually just finishing up and was about to leave now.” 

Christen nods in acknowledgement, “Me too. Should I meet you at your place or mine?” 

  
  
Tobin shrugs, “We can go to yours.” 

Christen suspects that Tobin wants to meet at Christen’s house so she can’t leave again, but she isn’t about to speak those thoughts out loud - and she isn’t going to run off this time either.

Tobin packs up and they leave for their cars in a lingering silence. It’s not uncomfortable, it rarely ever is, but it isn’t offering the same warm and settled feeling it usually does. 

They arrive at Christen’s a short drive later, Tobin parking her car next to Christen’s on the driveway. The sun was still bright on the warm spring day, so Christen suggests sitting on the balcony. That way, they’d maybe both feel more relaxed. 

Christen and Tobin sit down on the two seater sunbed chair Christen had from the backyard of her old house. It took up a lot of space on the balcony, but it was the perfect space to watch sunsets from. Tobin sits down on the opposite end, unsure of how close she can move to Christen.

“I’m-” 

“Tobs-”

  
  
They both start at the same time, letting out a light chuckle. 

“You go first,” Tobin encourages Christen. 

“Tobin, I’m so so sorry. I should have never said some of those things I said and I can’t tell you how much I regret them.” 

“I’m sorry too. We should have spoken about this early and I should have told Julie the truth.” 

  
  
“Why didn’t you?” Christen wonders calmly. She didn’t ask Tobin to come here for another argument, so she was determined to keep her voice calm and work through this. 

“Because I didn’t know what you wanted.” Tobin answers honestly, “After everything you’ve been through with your parents, I didn’t know if you wanted people to know or not. You’re also one of the most professional people in that place, and I didn’t want anyone viewing you different or thinking you’ll be less professional because of us being together.” 

“That makes sense.” Christen nods, “But if anyone views me different because of this or thinks less of me, then they don’t know me. This is who I am, and me dating you doesn’t change my ability to do the job.”

  
  
“I know that, and you know that, but some people might not.” Tobin offered, to which Christen agreed. “That still doesn’t excuse the fact that I said we were just friends though. I know that hurt you and I should have talked to you about it before even saying that to Julie.” 

  
  
“You should have, but I could have spoken to you about it too. We never really discussed if we’d tell anyone at work and I wouldn’t have known how to react if someone approached me about it either. I think we both messed up on that part, but why did you avoid me after that?” 

“I wasn’t exactly ignoring you, but I just wanted to make sure to keep my distance. It sounds silly now and I don’t know what I was thinking at the moment, but instead of talking to you about the conversation with Julie, I just decided to stay away so people were less likely to believe that we’re together. I’m sorry that I snapped at you for that, it was never because I didn’t want to spend time with you. ”

  
“I guess I was just hurt because we always have lunch together and I love spending time with you.” Christen smiled sadly before continuing, “But Tobin, I seriously can’t apologise enough about what I said. If I could take it all back, I would in a heartbeat. You’ve never made me feel anything but safe and loved, and I hope you know that.”

  
  
“I’d never lie to you about my feelings and I never wanted to hurt you or make you feel unimportant. You mean so much to me and it kind of killed me when you said that I was only with you to have sex.” Tobin let out a small chuckle at the next sentence, trying to lighten the mood. “I’d still want to be with you even if that would mean I’d never have sex again.” 

Christen moves slightly closer, not daring to have any form of physical contact yet. 

Tobin clears her throat, “Did you mean what you said about putting an end to us now?”

“I want to explain myself about that,” Christen says as a tear makes its way down her face, Tobin catches it with her thumb, wiping it off her cheek. “I spoke about this to Kelley the other day, and it made me realise that I’ve never fully opened up to you about this and you deserve better than that. So, I guess I was hoping you’d give me a chance to now?” Christen requests as Tobin accepts.

“I know you know about my last relationship and how I felt and obviously you know that those emotions don’t just go away. Even if I’m completely over him, which I am, there is still a small part of me that’s scared of being hurt. That same part is something I’ve felt ever since that day. I’ve shut people out, I’ve distanced myself from people and I’ve lost friends all because I was too scared of getting hurt. Then you came into my life, and you changed everything. I’ve never felt like this before. I thought I knew what love was, I thought I knew what being in love was - but then you came along and showed me what true love is. You showed me that I deserve to be cared for and to have someone love me as much as I love them. All the things that I feel for you, they terrify me. They’re something new and all of the sudden I was telling myself again that this was too good to be true - that it wasn’t possible for someone to love me and that I’m not worthy of someone as amazing as you. I was confused and hurt, because I didn’t let you explain so I came to my own conclusion of you not wanting people to know that we’re together, so I got scared to think that one day I might lose you. I can’t imagine my life without you anymore, which is crazy because we’ve only been together for a few months, but I wanted to protect myself before I could fall even further in love with you.” 

“Chris,” Tobin shuffles closer, carefully wrapping one arm around Christen’s shoulder. She pulls Christen in a little tighter when she feels her leaning into her, head resting between Tobin’s chest and shoulder. “Look at me.”

  
  
Christen turns her head, locking eyes whilst still having contact with Tobin. 

“I love  _ you  _ so much, more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I felt so lost before I met you. I didn’t know where I was going in life, so much that I even decided to move to California for a job application. I didn’t even know if I had a chance at getting the job - imagine if I wouldn’t have. All my life I never really felt settled, I always felt a little lost and was just going through the motions of life. All of the sudden I met you and you changed everything. You make me so much happier and I cherish every moment we spend together. I truly enjoy life since you came into it and my mom even pointed that out before she left.” Tobin lifted her right hand to rest it on Christen’s cheek, “I mean every word when I say that meeting you has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me and you’re not going to lose me. I’m always going to be here - for as long as you’ll have me. I love you, Christen Annemarie Press, and nothing is going to change that.”

Christen sighs contently and lets herself relax. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me too. I love you, so much.” 

Her eyes flicker down to Tobin’s lips before she’s leaning in, meeting Tobin half way. She kisses her softly, full of emotions but not urgent. Tobin’s tongue swipes against her lips and Christen meets it with her own, deepening the kiss. Christen’s hand is on Tobin’s hips, holding her tightly as if she might slip away at any moment. They stay there for a while, lost in the taste of each other before Christen pulls back to catch her breath. She adjusts her position, moving to straddle Tobin’s hips. 

She leans forwards again, attaching her mouth to Tobins. 

“We’re gonna have to take this inside.” Christen whispers into Tobin’s ear, moving down to kiss her neck.

“What, you don’t want your neighbors to hear us?” Tobin adds with a smirk, releasing her grip on Christen’s hips and allows her to pull her inside. 

They only make it to the couch, before Christen is gently pushing Tobin back down and throwing her leg over her lap. Tobin runs her fingers down Christen’s back, pulling her shirt over her head as they make their way back up. Christen leans down to run her lips along Tobin’s neck as Tobin’s fingers make their way down Christen’s chest. She unhooks Christen’s bra, rubbing the base of her palms against her breasts. 

Christen wastes no time, discarding Tobin’s shirt and bra too. In a quick and smooth motion, Tobin flips their positions making Christen squeal. 

Tobin sinks further down the couch, taking Christen’s right nipple into her mouth and flicking it with her tongue before moving to do the same on the other side. She looks up, seeing Christen watching her with longing eyes. 

“Oh, fuck”, Christen moans as Tobin moves further down, sucking on Christen’s skin lightly. She reaches down to slide Christen’s jeans and underwear off, doing the same to herself afterwards. 

Tobin leaves a trail of kisses on Christen’s chest, as Christen’s hands roam over Tobin’s body. Christen’s hips buck up towards Tobin’s, trying to find some pressure. 

“Tobin,” Christen says with a whimper, “I need you.”

Tobin moves her lips down to Christen’s thigh, placing a light kiss on each one before running her tongue through Christen’s folds. “You’re so wet!” She says through a moan.

Christen can only nod, eyes closing and back arching slightly. 

Tobin moves back down, kissing all the way down Christen’s thigh to her left knee and repeating the same on the other leg. 

“Please, Tobin. I want you.” Christen pleaded as Tobin continued to tease her. 

“Want me to what?” Tobin smirked against Christen’s thigh, running her fingertips down the other. 

“I need your fingers inside of me, now!” 

Tobin’s fingers made its way back up Christen’s thigh and inside of Christen’s entrance. Christen let out a moan, biting on her bottom lip. 

“More, please.” Christen begged as Tobin added a second finger, quicking her pace. Christen’s hips lift up, moving in a rhythm with Tobin’s hand. 

Tobin lowers her head, wrapping her tongue around Christen’s clit as she thrusts into her faster and deeper. She flicks it a couple of times before wrapping her lips around it and sucking on it lightly. 

She could feel Christen getting closer to the edge, her walls tightening around her fingers. Tobin continues her motions, pulling out as she feels that Christen’s about to cum. 

  
  
Christen opens her mouth to beg Tobin to continue, but it turns into another moan when she feels Tobin’s tongue running through her folds before entering her. Christen’s back arches and her hips jerk as her orgasm hits her, Tobin collects Christen’s wetness with her tongue as she gradually slows her movements down.

Christen pulls Tobin down on top of her as she catches her breath, regaining her senses. 

  
  
“Come on, let’s continue this in the bedroom.” She slides off the couch, reaching for Tobin’s hand to return the favor. 

\-------

The alarm goes off way too early in the morning. Christen nuzzles further into Tobin, trying to dig a hole into her neck. When the alarm gets too annoying, she groans and rolls over to turn it off. 

“Good morning,” Tobin whispers in a low voice as she starts to drift out of unconsciousness. 

“Morning, baby.” Christen smiles, giving Tobin a lasting kiss on her lips. 

“How long until we have to get up?” Tobin asks, fighting to stay awake. 

“Ten minutes.” Christen says as she nuzzles back into Tobin, pulling the covers over them again. “I could stay here forever.”

  
  
“Me too, babe.” 

“Tobs?” Christen speaks up when she thinks Tobin is about to fall asleep again. 

Tobin offers a tired hum in response. 

“Let’s never fight like that again please. Promise me that we’ll always talk about things right away from now on and don’t walk out until we’ve cleared everything up?” 

“I promise, babe.” Tobin agrees, opening her eyes slowly. 

“We never actually spoke about telling people at work.” Christen speaks out her realization. 

“It’s up to you, Chris. I’m perfectly fine with telling them, but I’ll also support you if you don’t want people to know.” 

  
  
Christen lets the silence linger for a short moment, weighing her options in her head. 

“What if we tell our closest friends first?”

“Like who?” Tobin wonders, wanting to know who to include.   


“Julie, Alex, Serv, Zach and Kristie? We could invite them all over for dinner just to hang out and then have Rachel there too with Kristie?” 

“What about Kelley?” 

“Well she knows anyway, but yeah let’s invite her too.”

  
  
“Sounds good,” Tobin nods, kissing Christen’s forehead. “Should we invite them to mine for Saturday?” 

  
  
Christen nods from her place on Tobin’s chest, “We can send them a group text later.”

  
  
“Okay, but we should really get up now, unless you want to be late.” Tobin smiles, moving out from under Christen.

\--------

“This is seriously so good.” Alex says for the fifth time as they’re spread out across Tobin’s living room, eating the home-made lasagne.” 

  
  
“Don’t look at me,” Tobin puts her hands up, “Christen made it.” 

  
  
“Hey isn’t this the one your mom always makes?” Kelley asked, careful to broach the topic. 

Christen nods, “It sure is.”

“Every time her mom used to visit us in College,” Kelley tells them, “she would make this for us. It’s like her signature dish and seriously the best thing ever.” 

  
  
Christen agrees with a smile, less bothered and affected by the topic that she thought she would be. Tobin looks over to her, silently checking on her as Christen gives her a nod and a wink. She seems happy enough with the response, returning to her lasagne. 

“Shut the front door, you guys knew each other in College?” Zach asks, surprised.

Julie laughs, face palming herself. “Where the hell have you been living?” 

“We lived together.” Christen laughs, as Kelley adds to the conversation, “Yeah, that’s how we became friends in first place.” 

“Wow, I never knew that.” Zach said as the group laughed at his surprised reaction. 

Christen’s phone pings from the table across the room then. Kelley reaches over to pass it to Christen, but not being able to resist the urge of looking at who text is from - being the typical nosy friend she is. 

“Who’s Cindy?”,Kelley asks as she hands her the phone.

“I didn’t know you text with my mom.” Tobin laughs, smiling when thinking about how close the pair got when her family was visiting. 

“Oh yeah, Cindy and I are best friends these days.” She laughs in response.

“Is that so?” Kelley asks with a raised eyebrow, looking over at Christen with a teasing smirk. 

Alex looks between the trio, “I’m lost. How do you know Tobin’s mom?” 

  
  
Before Christen has a chance to answer Alex, Rachel also chimes in, “And why have you got her number? The only parents I regularly text are mine and Kri-...wait, really?” Rachel comes to the realisation, looking over at Christen with a smile. 

“Am I missing something here?”, Servando asks. 

Tobin blushes, causing Kristie to catch on with wide eyes.

“It’s really not that difficult to figure out that they’re together.” Kelley says from her spot, now almost in tears of laughter at her friends’ confusion. 

“You never figured it out.” Tobin adds, chuckling when Kelley goes to argue but quickly sinks back into her seat, realising that Tobin was right. 

“I’m officially more than confused...I thought you guys weren’t together?” Julie mentions, recalling her conversation with Tobin the other day. 

“That’s a long story,” Christen tells Julie with a look that doesn’t make Julie question her further.

“This is so cute,” Kristie says with an excited smile, “How long have you guys been together?” 

“Five months,” Tobin smiles at her. 

“You’ve been together for five months?” Alex asks as Christen nods, “And none of us ever figured it out?” Tobin and Christen laugh, shrugging their shoulders.

The group spend the rest of the evening interrogating the pair and gushing about them being together, whilst Servando and Zach end up in a conversation of their own. When their friends go home later that night, Christen puts the dishes away as Tobin is cleaning the living room. 

“That went great,” Tobin comments as she comes up behind Christen, wrapping her arms around her waist and leaving a kiss on her cheek. 

Christen nods, turning around to rest her arms on Tobin’s shoulders and link her fingers behind her head. “I’m really glad it did.” She pulls Tobin into a hug, “We have some great friends in our life.” 

“We do.” Tobin runs her hand up and down Christen’s back before pulling away slightly, “So, you and my mom text, huh?” She raises an eyebrow with a smile. 

“She’s really sweet,” Christen says with a nod, “Before they left, she gave me her number and said that I’m a part of the family now so she’s always here to support me and that I can text her any time.” 

Tobin gives Christen a sweet kiss, “She’s the cutest, that makes me so happy.”

“If I’m not careful, you might end up as her favorite child.” Tobin chuckled, making Christen laugh. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I impressed myself by writing this in less than 24 hours lol.   
> -  
> I wasn't too sure about this one so please let me know what you think. Originally, I wasn't going to add the last chapter and this one but it just kinda happened when I wrote it so I went with it, so yeah I don't really know how that came to be either. I promise we're done with whatever that was now!


	13. Just For A Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A moment in love.

“Have a good weekend you two,” Kristie waves at Christen and Tobin as they are walking as a trio towards their cars. 

“Thanks Kristie, you too.” Christen returns, Tobin waving at her. 

Kristie winks at Christen before she gets into her car, which goes unnoticed by Tobin who was already opening her car door. Christen and Tobin had been staying at Tobin’s house all week, so they decided it was easier to carpool to work since they had similar schedules anyway.

“Do you mind stopping at my house quickly?” Christen wonders as Tobin pulls out of the parking lot, “I just need to get something.” 

  
  
“Okay,” Tobin agrees easily, “What do you need to pick up?” 

  
  
“Oh just some stuff for work next week. I already packed it, but forgot to put it in my car.” Christen mentions casually, turning her head back towards the road ahead.

They arrive at Christen’s house and she enters through the garage, gathering her bags and suitcase left at the doorway when she sees Tobin look away. Tobin checks the time, seeing it wasn’t too late in London and decides to FaceTime her brother in the meantime. She knew Christen well enough to know that ten minutes tends to mean thirty minutes for Christen, so she’d need something to occupy herself with anyway. Jeffrey was currently in England, having had a training camp there for the past ten days. He has a tournament coming up there, which is taking place over the next week. Tobin’s already made sure she has all of the right streams ready so she could watch him play from home, not caring about the timezones. Besides, Christen reassured her many times that she’d be more than happy to stay up with Tobin and watch the games. 

It was going to be Jeffrey’s hundredth international appearance celebration, so she is bummed to be missing it but knew there was no way she could get time off work - especially for a full week. Since the flight was too long for her niece and nephews, it would only be Cindy, Jeff and Sarah there to support Jeffrey. He’d assured them all that it was no problem and he was more than happy to have their own celebration dinner next time they were all together. 

Twenty-five minutes later, Christen comes back inside after putting her bags into Tobin’s trunk - which luckily went unnoticed by Tobin. She sits down next to her at the kitchen table, greeting Jeffrey and having a quick conversation with him before ending the call and locking her house up again. Once they made it back to Tobin’s house, Christen drags Tobin inside, grinning mischievously. 

“Why are you smiling like that?” Tobin questions cautiously. 

Christen winks, “Like what?” 

“You know exactly what I mean,” Tobin laughs, shaking her head at her girlfriend’s antics. 

“I have a surprise for you!” Christen smiles brightly, dragging Tobin into the kitchen. 

Tobin looks at her, a flash of confusion showing on her face. She decides it was easiest to just follow her girlfriend into the kitchen and see what she was talking about. Christen simply tells her to sit at the kitchen table and close her eyes. She pulls an envelope out of her purse, placing it in Tobin’s hands. 

“Ok, you can open them.”, Christen states once she’s pulled her own chair out opposite Tobin. 

Tobin opens her eyes, seeing the white envelope in front of her. It was blank apart from the  _ For Tobs <3  _ written on the front in Christen’s handwriting. 

“Don’t ask, just open it.” Christen states, seeing Tobin’s look of confusion.

  
  
“Okay,” Tobin drags her words out as she starts opening the envelope. She pulls out two tickets, only seeing them from the back. Tobin flips them around as her jaw drops. 

Christen smiles brightly at Tobin’s reaction, having hoped for one like this. She’d never been good at keeping secrets, especially when they were surprises, so she was ecstatic to see that her plan had been successful. 

“No way, Chris. Oh my God...really?” Tobin asks, springing up from her chair and walking over to Christen’s, letting Christen pull her down onto her lap. 

“I know how much you wanted to go and this is huge for Jeffrey, so I managed to get us both the week off and book tickets. We’re staying for all the games so we’ll be able to spend time with them in between games and explore London a bit.”, Christen squeezes Tobin’s hip. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you!” A tear makes its way down Tobin's cheek, which Christen quickly catches with her thumb. “I love you too, baby.” Christen leans in to give Tobin a sweet kiss. 

Tobin leans back, giving Christen a soft look. She zones out for a moment, trying to take it all in. Being in love with Christen makes her feel better than she ever has before. She feels more alive, has a new sense of happiness to her life and it makes her feel so grateful for everything that she still struggles to understand it’s all a reality - that the girl in front of her is real and  _ hers _ . 

Christen explains that they’re staying in a hotel a little further away from the rest of the group, not having any more available bookings as it’s directly by the Wembley Stadium. 

  
  
“There was another hotel about ten minutes away that had available bookings, but Cindy told me that you’d never been in London before so I thought we’d stay in central London? It’s a half-an-hour drive away from the stadium, but I hired us a car so we can just head to the stadium and their hotel whenever? I hope that’s okay, I just wanted to explore the city with you as well.” Christen asks, a little skeptical, hoping Tobin wouldn’t be sad or upset that the hotel was a little further away.

“Babe, that’s perfect. I can’t wait.” Tobin smiles excitedly, assuring Christen that she is more than happy with any arrangements Christen made. 

Christen drags Tobin into the bedroom, ushering her towards the closet so she’d start packing her suitcase. Their flight was early, so she knew they’d only get limited hours of sleep. 

Tobin packs her suitcase in record time, only needing a little help from Christen. It was April by now, but they both knew that England could still be a little cold at this time of the year - especially when you’re living in California. 

\-------

Surprisingly, it didn’t take Tobin long to get up in the morning. She had a bounce in her step as they made their way into the airport after their uber dropped them off - making Christen smile. It didn’t take them too long to check in, grabbing a coffee before making their way to their terminal. Their flight was with British Airways, giving them a non-stop eleven hour flight. 

Tobin sleeps for the majority of the flight, head resting on Christen’s shoulder as Christen alternates between reading her book, listening to music and taking short naps. By the time they land at the airport, it’s midnight in London. Luckily, they’re both exhausted from travelling, even if Christen isn’t quite sure how Tobin could possibly still be tired, meaning the time difference didn’t take such a big toll on them for the night. 

Tobin offers to drive, having slept more than Christen and knowing how much the younger girl hates driving in the dark. They don’t arrive at their hotel until shortly before 2:00am, both ready to crash in bed for the night. Fortunately, they’re able to check in right away due to the late hour and head up to their room on the twelfth floor. 

Since it’s dark outside, Tobin isn’t able to see much about the location or view of the hotel whilst she’s trying to organise their luggage. Christen ushers her inside before she even has a chance to look around, trying to locate their whereabouts in London, as if she’d know every small road the city has to offer. 

Tobin only has a short moment to admire the inside by the foyer of the building when Christen is checking them in. She notices the lit up hallway by the elevators, along with the bar on the side - still filled with small groups of people. She smiles at herself thinking of how nice this hotel already looked. When Christen hands her one of the keys on the way to the elevator, she reads the name on it - _Park Plaza Hotel_ - making a mental note to look it up once she’s in bed. 

They find their room, sliding the card in to open the door. They’re met with an apartment-like hotel room. There’s a long hallway with a doorway into an open spaced living room, dining area and kitchen at the end of it. By the small desk in the corner, there are large glass windows filling up the wall, curtains closed to block the view. To their left, there’s another small hallway, leading to an en-suite bedroom. 

“This is gorgeous,” Tobin’s eyes are wide, inspecting the room. 

“It sure is,” Christen nods, a little surprised herself, even though she was the one who booked it. Her eyes suddenly light up, as if she just remembered an important detail that had slipped her mind earlier. “Come and look at this, baby!” She tugs on Tobin’s hand, lacing their fingers together loosely and pulling her towards the covered windows. 

Christen reaches for the end of the curtain, pulling it all the way across, revealing the view. 

“Wow,” Tobin’s jaw hangs open slightly, making Christen laugh as her head drops onto Christen’s chest and pulls her into a hug. 

From the large glass windows, they could see the city lights across London. There were car lights showing across the small bridges on the River Thames, behind the unmistakable scene of a lit-up London Eye. The combination of all of the lights from this high up made it look like a fairytale, the beauty of the city showing through at its most peaceful moments. 

Tobin tightens her grip around Christen’s waist, just wanting to take the moment in, listening to Christen’s heart beat steadily against her chest. Christen’s arms come to rest around Tobin’s shoulders, her lips ghosting over Tobin’s forehead and then resting lightly against her hair. 

They stand there for a short while, staying silent and just listening to each other’s breaths, both being equally grateful that they get to experience moments like these with each other - knowing that there’s no one else they’d rather share them with. 

Christen pulls back first, suggesting they go to bed and try to catch some sleep before having to wake up again. Their plan was to avoid sleeping for too long, trying to beat the jet lag as much as they can. Both girls hate wasting the day away and were excited to see London in daylight. 

It’s not too late by the time they make it out of bed, having woken up at 8:30am but quickly drifting back to sleep in each other's arms, not ready to leave the warmth of the bed quite yet. Tobin gets up first, showering and brushing her teeth before attempting to wake Christen up when she realises it’s already past 10:00am. 

On their way to brunch at one of the small restaurants inside the hotel, they pass a small balcony-styled hallway. The city shows through the glass architecture of the building, giving them a view directly into the outside world - with the Big Ben and Westminster Bridge in close distance.

Whilst eating brunch, they start their day off by planning what they were wanting to do today, knowing they’d still be tired and not awake enough to have a long sightseeing trip today. Their first day was mainly spent strolling around the river. They walk the short distance towards the Tower Bridge, admiring some of the buildings and bridges along the way. Fingers tangled loosely the whole time as they explore the side roads and shops near their restaurant. 

In the early afternoon they get a call from Cindy, asking if they were up for going out to dinner together or if they were wanting to get an early night and sleep some of the jetlag off. They compromise - choosing a restaurant within walking distance of their hotel, so they wouldn’t have to wait too long to head back to the hotel if they got tired. 

It’s a small sushi bar, not overly crowded but not empty either. They spend a long while catching up and talking about Jeffrey’s training. His first match was the next day. They were playing against England, being aware that they’d face a challenge with it being their home crowd. 

By the time Christen and Tobin make it back to the hotel, it’s already later than they’d planned. The rest of the group had already left earlier, knowing Jeffrey had to recover well before the game. Christen and Tobin had debated on flagging for a cab, but ended up walking the way back and seeing the city at night time. 

On their second day, Christen and Tobin slept in again, feeling well rested and better than they did the day before. They got breakfast at a local restaurant, Tobin treating Christen to a typical British breakfast - wanting to experience the small parts that make London the city it is. 

They end up having a morning in the spa, swimming and relaxing by the pool, wanting to treat this trip as a proper vacation. By the time they’ve rinsed off in their shower and got dressed, they get their rental car from the underground car park and start driving towards the stadium - knowing it’ll be more difficult to find parking spaces later on. They find a small car park, around the back of the stadium, which was empty enough for them to easily find a space. 

The game against England was won 2-1, with a last minute goal from the US in the 88th minute. The family was in the US family section - showing off their Heath jerseys - whilst being convinced that they were the loudest group in the whole stadium. 

The team doesn’t celebrate at a local bar at the end of the game, like they traditionally would. Their next game was just two days away, so they had to spend as much time resting and recovering as they possibly could. Jeffrey had an off day the next day, so they made plans to meet at the London Eye the next morning - being tourists for the day. 

They buy their tickets early, making it onto the London Eye with less than a thirty-minute wait. Tobin can’t resist getting her camera out, taking pictures of the view, which she’d later realise that most of those pictures included Christen too. They ask one of the other tourists to take a group picture of them, which quickly makes its way onto Tobin’s instagram, along with a photo that Jeffrey took of Christen and Tobin standing in front of the famous ferris wheel - arms wrapped around each other’s waists. She captions it  _ making memories in London _ , knowing she’d look back at it later with a smile. 

They take a cab to Madame Tussauds after eating lunch, taking goofy group photographs with the wax figures and posing with them. They end up spending longer than planned in there, grabbing dinner at the Hard Rock Cáfe which was a few blocks away, before going their separate ways again for the night.

The second game out of the three was the game where Jeffrey was to be awarded with his 100th cap. The family stood at the end of the tunnel, waiting for him to be awarded with his shirt. 

Tobin links her fingers through Christen’s, getting her attention. “You’re coming out there with us too, right?” 

“Oh, I don’t know.” Christen shakes her head, “You guys should just go, I’ll wait here.”

  
  
“Please, for me?” Tobin requests.

“This is a family thing, Tobs. I’ll watch from here.” She says hesitantly, not wanting to intrude with their moment. 

Cindy places a hand on Christen’s shoulder. “This is a family thing,” Cindy nods, confirming Christen’s argument, “But you’re a part of that family so you’re coming with us.” 

Christen goes to argue, but Cindy beats her to it. “Don’t make me get my strict mother-tone out.” She gives her a stern look, making the group laugh. 

Just as Christen is about to answer her, they’re called onto the field by a staff member. Christen catches up with Cindy for a few steps, squeezing her arm lovingly. “Thank you!” She says, giving her a soft look. 

“We’re your family just as much as you’re ours, Chris. You don’t have to thank me.” Cindy says with a big smile as she walks to hug her son. 

They take their picture and then head off the field again, towards the stands. When Jeffrey scores in the 73rd minute, Christen is sure that a soccer stadium has never seemed that loud before. Despite being in England, the US had a large number of supporters there - filling up most of the stadium compared to the Swedish supporters. 

Jeff pulls Christen and Tobin into a tight hug, the trio jumping up with excitement. They stay standing up for the remainder of the game, too excited to settle back down. The team wins 1-0 much to everyone's delight, keeping them ranked first in the tournament with one more game to go. Their next game was against France, one of their biggest competition and one of the fittest teams in the world. 

They have the celebratory meal in one of the restaurants by the outdoor retail park by the stadium, which they probably should have thought through better as they ended up having fans come up to them for pictures for half the meal - not that any of them minded much. 

Christen and Tobin drive the small car back to their hotel later in the afternoon. They change into sweats and curl up on the small couch, skipping through the different shows until they find something interesting to watch on netflix. Christen’s close to falling asleep, wrapped up in Tobin’s arms, when her phone rings. 

**_Incoming FaceTime Call - Tyler Press_ **

Since their dinner together, Christen had started speaking more to her sisters again. They’d text short messages throughout the week, but not quite as regularly or in-depth as they used to be. 

Christen was still a little weary when it came to her relationship with her sisters, still not quite having processed her feelings about it all yet - even if a good few months had passed and it was now April.

“Ugh,” Christen sighs, dropping her head back dramatically as her eyes adjust to the bright phone screen. Tobin gives her a kiss on the head, pulling her arm out and standing up, knowing Christen was still quite nervous about speaking to Tyler. She was aware that Christen would never ask her to leave and would’ve been fine with her sitting there, but could also see the younger girl tense up slightly every time she spoke to them over the phone.

They hadn’t met up again in person and Tobin just wanted Christen to take small steps moving back to normality with them - going at whatever pace she felt comfortable with - even if that meant keeping Tobin out of the conversations for now. Christen had apologised about this before, feeling a small pang of guilt that Tobin left the room, but Tobin quickly assured her that this wasn’t about her and that she shouldn’t apologise for it. 

“Hey Ty,” Christen gives her a tired smile as she accepts the call. 

“Hey, what are you up to?” Tyler wonders as she waves through the phone.

Christen sits up a little, readjusting her position on the couch. “Well I was half asleep until  _ someone  _ called me.” 

Tyler chuckles, throwing her hands up in defense. “Also, I can’t believe you’re in London and didn’t tell me!” 

Christen shrugs a little uncomfortably, not knowing how to comment on that. Tyler picks up on it right away, being quick to change the topic. 

“How long are you there for?” She smiles softly, trying to relax Christen a little. 

Christen thinks through it in her head, too focused on enjoying her time in London to have even considered when their return flight was. “Ehm, the flight is Sunday morning so we’ll probably get back home for midday-ish pacific time.” 

Tyler nods, “Have you done any fun touristy things yet?” 

Christen smiles widely, thinking of the past few days. “Yeah, actually. So far we’ve been on the London Eye, to Madame Tussauds and just along the River looking at all the shops and restaurants they have. We’re planning on doing some more exploring tomorrow though.”

“You’ll have to send me loads of photos! Who are you there with?” 

“Tobin and some of her family. Jeffrey’s a professional soccer player and has a tournament here so I surprised Tobin with this trip since we were supposed to be working this week.”,Christen tells her.

“That’s so cute, Chris. Is she there?” 

“Tobin?” Christen asks, even though she already knew the answer. 

“Yeah, she is.” Christen confirms Tyler’s suspicions. 

“Can I meet her?” Tyler pleads with excitement. 

Christen hesitates a little, until she catches the sincerity in her sister’s eyes. “Um, yeah sure. Just promise me you won’t say anything bad?” 

“Christen,” Tyler says as she gives Christen a soft but truthful look, “I wouldn’t do that, I promise!” Tyler confirms her own assumption in her head - that the reason why she hadn’t been introduced to Tobin was that Christen was afraid they’d lash out or say something rude. 

Christen mutes the call, leaving the phone on the coffee table and getting up to find Tobin. 

“Babe?” Christen calls through the mini-apartment as she heads towards their hotel bedroom. 

Tobin was sitting on the bed, scrolling through Instagram on her phone. “Yeah?” 

Christen reaches her hand out to Tobin, trying to pull the girl to stand up. “Tyler wants to meet you.” 

  
  
Tobin looks into Christen’s eyes, trying to find any form of hesitation in them.

“Are you ok with that?” She asks Christen, keeping eye contact.

Christen nods, “Yeah, I am.” 

  
  
“Positive?” 

“110%” Christen gives Tobin a sweet kiss, “I wouldn’t ask you if I wasn’t, I promise!”

  
  
Tobin walks behind Christen as she pulls her along, dragging her to sit back down before Christen unmutes the call and turns it towards her and Tobin. 

“Hey Tobin! It’s so great to meet you, I’m Tyler.” Tyler’s voice rings through the phone in a cheery and excited tone. 

Tobin smiles at her, “Hey, it’s nice to meet you too.” 

  
  
Tyler starts asking Tobin questions about herself, much to Christen’s surprise, who expected her to interrogate them both about their relationship more than anything else. They end the call ten minutes later, Christen claiming she was tired after yawning countless times. Tobin and Tyler just laugh at her, saying their goodbyes and Tobin saying it was nice to meet her before disappearing towards the bathroom and giving Christen a minute to end the call with her sister. 

Christen strolls back into the bedroom shortly after, plugging her phone in and coming up behind Tobin who was brushing her teeth in the bathroom. Tobin leans forwards, rinsing her mouth out before turning around in Christen’s arms. 

“That went well?” Christen almost approaches as a question. 

Tobin rests their foreheads together, “It did. She was really sweet and surprisingly didn’t tease you much!” They both laugh at that and Christen moves to reach for her toothbrush. 

“I was surprised too,” Christen laughs, “I think she knew to be more careful because of everything with mom and dad.” 

  
  
Tobin squeezes Christen’s hip lightly, kissing her cheek and walking past her towards the bed. She fell into the covers with exhaustion, making Christen chuckle from her spot by the sink. Christen takes her clothes off, pulling on a sleep shirt and getting into bed, curling into Tobin for some warmth. 

When Tobin’s familiar scent hits her, she feels the comfort coming with it. Every time they hold each other close or cuddle together, Christen would grow more and more used to Tobin’s scent - one that she loved more than any other in the world. It made her feel as if nothing else mattered in the world and nothing could hurt her as long as she was in Tobin’s arms. It made her feel beyond lucky to call Tobin  _ hers  _ and for Tobin to love her. More than anything, it makes her feel like she could live in Tobin’s space forever. It makes her realise that as long as she has Tobin by her side, everything will work out and she’ll always be alright in the end. For the first time ever, she thinks that she understands now when people say that home isn’t a place, but rather a person. She doesn’t get a chance to get further lost in her head, Tobin’s soft voice pulling her out of her daze. 

“What’s going on in that head?” Tobin lifts her finger and teasingly pokes Christen’s forehead. 

“Nothing,” Christen sighs constantly, tightening her grip around Tobin. “I’m just really lucky to call you mine.” 

When Christen’s eyes meet Tobin’s, and she doesn’t think she’s ever seen Tobin smile as widely before. 

“Good night, babe. I love you.” Tobin kisses her softly, pulling her in.

“Night, Tobs. I love you too!”

\-------

They don’t meet up with Tobin’s family the next day, taking the bus to explore different places around the large city instead. They walk past Buckingham Palace, taking way too many pictures in front of it ; visit Trafalgar Square and Piccadilly Circus ; and walk around the streets filled with shops, occasionally going in to purchase something that would fit in their suitcase. 

They’re making their way down Regent Street when Tobin suddenly comes to a stop, pulling Christen back slightly. “What?” Christen looks at her girlfriend, tilting her head slightly. 

“We should totally go to Hamleys! We can get the three little dudes a present to send them.” Tobin half squeals with excitement, pointing to the famous toy shop across the road. 

“You’re such a little child, babe.” Christen pretends to be annoyed, the massive grin on her face giving her away. “Come on then, we’ve got to make sure we hold our place as favorite aunts!” Christen pulls her along towards the crossing opposite the shop. 

Christen can’t hold back her smile as Tobin quite literally acts like a  _ child  _ as she’s looking through all of the isle on the different floors, searching for something they might like. Tobin picks up various toys whilst making her way through the different floors, Christen and her both getting too excited over ones that remind them of their childhood and having to remind themselves that they have limited space in their suitcases and should probably only take something small for each of them. 

If Christen thinks she’s whipped when Tobin doesn’t even have to convince her to play a short round of table tennis on one of the small displayed tables, then she’s completely screwed when Tobin turns to her with a massive grin after their short game. “I can’t wait until  _ we _ have kids, we’re going to be the  _ best parents _ .” 

  
  
And suddenly, Christen’s own smile grows even wider if that were possible. She bites her bottom lip, butterflies in her stomach and she grabs Tobin’s face lightly, pulling her into a short-lived kiss in the overcrowded shop. “I’m so in love with you!” 

They do end up finding the perfect presents. They buy Ellie a stuffed giraffe after remembering that Katie had mentioned her new obsession with stuffed animals multiple times, and giraffes are her favorite animal so Christen couldn’t resist how cute it was, despite being slightly larger than they’d anticipated to get. Cole gets a new London-themed lego set, and for Kayden they bought some new children’s books knowing that he loves storytime and will ask anyone to read a story to him at any point throughout the day. 

Jeffrey ends up winning his last match too, making them the champions of the tournament. The whole team goes out to celebrate later that night with their families, rounding up the trip before they have to fly back to their clubs the next day. Since Christen and Tobin are staying for an extra night, Cindy and Jeff changed their flight a couple months back to match theirs. 

On Saturday night, Christen and Tobin’s parents make plans to take Tobin out as an early birthday meal - assuming they won’t get another chance to spend time together before Tobin’s birthday. They eat at an asian restaurant in central London, which wasn’t too crowded for a Saturday night. 

“So tell us how work is going, I feel like we haven’t had enough time to discuss this stuff recently!” Cindy prompts, sitting up straighter. 

Christen looks over to Tobin, letting her speak first. “It’s really good. I love working there and the students are great, I get along with them all really well.” 

“She’s got the soccer team girls up to first-name basis now.” Christen shakes her head with a goofy smile, Jeff and Cindy joining in and laughing. 

“Yep, that sounds like Tobin.” Jeff says with a proud smile.

Tobin shrugs, “I am still here you know,” she emphasises, waving.

Jeff turns his attention towards Christen after teasing his daughter further, “What about you, Christen?” 

Christen nods, agreeing with Tobin’s earlier statement. “It’s pretty much the same for me. We’ve got a lot of meetings coming up,” Christen is interrupted when Tobin groans at the reminder, hating the meeting aspect of her job. “And it looks like I won’t be able to make a lot of them so I think I should schedule them for Tobin instead!” she teases, making Tobin pout with a frown. 

“When do you have to go back? Surely jetlag will still be a nightmare on Monday,” Cindy questions, “Our school is on spring break next week so not for another week.” 

Conversation unsurprisingly flows easy, making Christen feel like she fits right in once again. 

“I can’t thank you enough for this trip, baby. You’re amazing!” Tobin smiles looking up at Christen later that night, still trying to steady her breathing again with naked and tangled limbs lying under the sheets. She props herself up enough to flip them over. “I. Love. You.” She repeats in between peppering Christen’s face in kisses, making the younger girl laugh. Christen moves her hands out from under the sheets, grabbing Tobin’s face gently, pulling her into a deep kiss. “I love you too, so much!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just gonna request that you go with the flow of my random tournaments (I really don't have a clue about men's soccer anyway) and the dates for spring break lol. You'll just have to use your imagination for those :) 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you're all well and staying safe!


	14. Everyday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyday of our lives.  
> Wanna find you there,  
> Wanna hold on tight.

There was one thing that Christen never understood as a child, and that was people saying time doesn’t matter, it’s about who you spend it with. 

For the longest time, she believe that this was just some stupid saying. She always thought that time was valuable and limited, so every second of it mattered. 

Of course her life got flipped upside down when she met Tobin, and when she comes to think of it now - when lying in Tobin’s arms while the older girl is still asleep - she agrees with the statement. 

  
  
She knew that as long as she has Tobin by her side, everything else will fall into place and work itself out. 

She tilts her head down to look at a sleeping Tobin, smiling at the way her soft puffs tickled against Christen’s skin. 

They’d flipped positions in their sleep like they usually do, Tobin now clinging onto Christen from the side, one leg slotted in between Christen’s. 

Christen moves her hand that isn’t wrapped around Tobin, lightly brushing the small baby hairs out of her face, making sure she wouldn’t wake her girlfriend up. 

This was one of Christen’s favorite things about naturally waking up early. Getting to spend some time in silence, reflecting on all her feelings and having this girl, who’s been her rock for the past nine months, wrapped in her arms. 

  
  
She loves seeing Tobin so peaceful - like all in the world was right and nothing was stressing or bothering her. Christen feels her stir slightly, thinking she is about to wake up, until she feels Tobin tighten her grip and nuzzle in a bit closer before drifting back into the silence.

This has become a routine over the past few months. They’d found themselves spending more and more nights together, until eventually they’d just fallen into a pattern of staying together every night. Their schedules had become a lot busier in the past months, making it more difficult to spend quality time with each other throughout the day instead of planning lessons, being called into meetings or filling out documents. This is how eventually, their days drifted into days spent together. 

They would drive to and from work together, always arriving earlier or staying later if their schedules didn’t match up with the others that day. At night, they would drive to one of their houses - usually Christen’s because Tobin loved waking up to the view of the sun coming up above the beach in the mornings - and make dinner together. 

On weekends, they would sit together in the living room to watch movies, crappy television shows or do their individual work - offering advice when the other needed it or just staying close to each other if one of them didn’t have anything to do. Afterwards, they’d go grocery shopping, go to the mall, walk along the beach or just stay inside and avoid the outside world. They secretly loved the domesticity of it all, even if they had yet to acknowledge that to each other out loud. 

They still went out with their friends regularly, either together or individually, but certainly didn’t mind skipping happy hours for an occasional lazy night in. Christen was still as close as ever with Kelley, meeting up for a coffee every fortnight and the trio occasionally going surfing on Sunday morning. 

Christen smiles to herself, thinking about Kelley and Tobin getting along so well. Kelley’s friend from high school, Ali and her wife Ashlyn, sometimes join them too. Tobin had clicked with Ashlyn right away, now regularly staying in contact and meeting up when Ashlyn’s shifts align with Tobin’s schedules throughout the week. 

Christen is pulled out of her thoughts when she feels a light kiss being placed on her jaw. She turns her gaze from the sunlight shining through the big windows in her bedroom, towards Tobin’s sleepy face. 

“Morning, Sleepyhead.” Christen speaks quietly, not wanting to startle the girl out of her sleep. 

“Morning,” Tobin places another kiss on Christen’s jaw, “I’ll never get sick of this view in the mornings!” 

Christen nods into her pillow, “I love it too.” She agrees, looking back out of the window. 

“I guess the sunrise is pretty decent as well.” Tobin chuckles, making Christen smile as she’s pulled into a kiss.

Christen pulls a face before Tobin has the chance to connect their lips, “Morning breath!” Christen states with a frown on her face. 

Tobin pouts, looking up at Christen. “Please, just one?” 

Christen attempts to ignore her, not looking down into Tobin’s eyes until she can’t resist anymore and reluctantly agrees. “Okay fine,” She rolls her eyes, holding up one finger. “But only one.” 

Tobin simply ignores her, pulling her in. She doesn’t give Christen a chance to pull away, melting into the feeling of the kiss and holding her tightly. 

The younger girl loses her strength for longer than she’d admit, getting lost in the feeling of Tobin’s lips on hers before she reaches her hands to Tobin’s hips and starts tickling her sides. 

“Stop!” Tobin screeches through a fit of laughter, rolling off Christen and onto her side. 

Once Tobin has calmed herself down enough to speak again, she rolls back onto Christen, missing the body heat already. “What time is it?” 

“Way too early,” Christen chuckles as she reaches for her phone on the nightstand, knowing it wouldn’t be very late as her alarm hadn’t gone off yet. “Quarter-past six,” Christen murmurs once her eyes adjusted to the phone screen. 

“I could have slept for another 15 minutes!” Tobin states, trying to keep a serious facial expression, acting as if she was genuinely upset by this revelation. 

Christen’s seen this trick one too many times to fall for it, “Well I didn’t wake you up, did I?” 

Tobin doesn’t give her a reply, simply letting her eyelids flutter closed again and acting asleep. 

“I’m going to get up, Tobs.” Christen tries to wriggle out from underneath Tobin, which proved to be harder than anticipated as Tobin only tightens her grip. 

“I need to get up, babe. I don’t want to be late!” 

“You won’t be...just five more minutes, please?” Tobin whines, knowing it was a lost cause anyway. 

Christen tries to get up again, getting closer this time. “I want to curl my hair and do my make up this morning, so unless I want to leave the house late, I have to get up now.”

  
  
“Fineee,” Tobin relents, letting Christen walk towards the bathroom. 

Christen walks towards her closet, picking out one of her nicer and formal outfits and getting dressed. She takes her time applying more makeup than she’d usually wear and curling her straightened hair into equal locks. 

“You look beautiful,” Tobin smiles from behind Christen, kissing her shoulder as she walks past. “I’ll miss you today.” Tobin frowns, gathering her car keys and bag. 

“I’m sure you’ll survive without me for one day,” Christen laughs, walking up to Tobin. “But I’ll miss you too.” 

Christen’s day was scheduled at another school, having a full day of meetings with other Physical Education leaders and making plans on how they can develop and improve their department. As a teacher in one of the leading PE departments in the state, Christen was asked in to help speak with some teachers on how they could improve their teaching methods and the participation of students. 

She’d been looking forward to today, always enjoying interacting with teachers from other schools and gathering new ideas. The preparation had been stressful and lengthy from her end, but she knew that these types of meetings would always be worth all of the stress in the end. 

“Bye. I love you, have a good day!” Christen kisses Tobin once they were both in the driveway. 

“I love you too. Good luck today.” Tobin returns the kiss, “Text me when you get a chance to.” 

Christen agrees and opens her car door, getting organized inside her car and letting Tobin pull out of the driveway first. 

Tobin’s drive was quiet without Christen there, despite having the radio turned up higher than she normally would. She’d grown so used to having Christen there most mornings, that she’s almost crabby when she thinks about her long day ahead. Kelley doesn’t miss the opportunity to tease Tobin for the frown on her face, which Julie gladly continues when she walks into the office with a cup of coffee in hand. 

Christen’s day turns out productive and informative. She gains new perspectives and teaching ideas that she hadn’t thought of before, as well as sharing hers and some of the methods they use to make the sports at their school so successful. She gathers lots of notes, preparing to type them up when she gets home and mention them in their weekly Monday morning department meeting. She only gets a couple of chances to check in with Tobin throughout the day, not wanting to seem disrespectful or rude by being on her phone for longer than a short string of text messages. Christen even has a chance to catch up with one of the teachers she used to work with at her old school. 

She knew ahead of time that her day was going to be long and she’d end up getting home later than usual, so Tobin and her had decided to spend the night apart. Christen was simply looking forward to crashing in bed once she got in, and Tobin had plans with Ashlyn for the afternoon anyway. 

As Christen’s walking out of the back door of the school and towards the parking lot, she turns her phone back on and sees she has a missed text from Tobin. 

**Tobs :** I’m on my way to meet with Ash. Text me when you get done, please. I love you.

Christen’s face lights up at the thought of the older girl, never failing to feel the butterflies in her stomach whenever Tobin told her that she loved her - no matter how many times she said it. Christen was more than certain that Tobin would never be able to wear that out. She types her a quick text, replying and then putting her phone down to start the engine. 

**Chris :** We just got finished and I’m heading home now. I’ve got some work to do tonight, but call me when you get in?

**Chris :** Btw I love you too <3

Just as promised, Tobin calls Christen on her drive home that night, catching up on Tobin’s day of teaching and Christen’s meetings. They hang up just after Tobin gets home, leaving Christen to finish up her notes and prepare for teaching again the next day. 

She also sends Kristie a quick text, letting her know that everything went smoothly and she’d inform her about any important information the next day. 

When Christen struggles to keep her eyes open a couple hours later, she notices how late it already is and heads towards her bedroom, quickly changing into a sleepshirt and crawling under the covers. 

Despite how tired she’d been only a few moments earlier, she struggles to let sleep find her. Christen turns over, trying to adjust her position. Everytime she closes her eyes, she thinks of the hazel-colored eyes she fell in love with and her favorite smile - the brightest one she’s ever seen. 

Christen eventually gives up trying to fall asleep and reaches for her phone, pressing call on Tobin’s contact. The phone only rings twice before she can hear Tobin’s soft voice on the other end. 

“Hey,” Tobin speaks quietly, instantly causing a smile to spread along Christen’s face. 

“Hey, baby.” 

  
  
Tobin’s voice fills with concern, wondering why Christen is calling her this late in the day when she’d usually be out like a light by now. “Is everything ok?” 

“Yeah,” Christen answers, making Tobin double check again. “Are you sure?”

Christen nods, until she realises that Tobin can’t see her. 

“Tobs…” Christen speaks up again after a short moment of silence. 

“Mhm” Tobin murmurs, showing Christen that she’s listening. 

“Would it be weird if I say that I can’t fall asleep and miss sleeping next to you?” She asks quietly. 

Tobin smiles, “No, I feel the same. I hate sleeping without you.” 

“Will you stay on the phone with me for tonight?” 

“Of course I will.” Tobin pulls the covers a little higher, adjusting her head on the pillow and closing her eyes.

“I love you” Christen whispers through the phone. 

“I love you too. Now get some sleep, babe.” 

  
  
Tobin stays awake until she can hear Christen’s breath steady, indicating that she fell asleep. She turns the small lamp on her bedside table off and does the same. 

When Christen wakes up in the morning, the call is still going through. She smiles to herself when she hears Tobin’s soft snores from the other end of the phone. 

She hangs up the call, knowing her alarm would go off any minute anyway and sends Tobin a quick text before turning the shower on. 

**Chris :** Good morning, baby. I’m getting up now, see you soon :) 

She shakes her head, realising she became one of those people in cheesy and cute relationships that would probably be gross to others, but doesn’t give it a second thought because she knows she wouldn’t change it for anything. 

As she’s eating breakfast she sees that she got her own good morning text from Tobin and smiles from ear to ear. She heads out to her car in good time, feeling relaxed and stress free. 

She sends Kristie a quick text asking when would be best to catch up today before she drives off, hoping for a response to come through before she arrives at the school. When she sees that she hasn’t got a text back yet, she assumes that Kristie must be driving so she shrugs it off and decides to find her later. 

Christen pulls her keys for the office door out, assuming she’d be the first one to arrive as usual. She’s surprised to find the door already unlocked, pushing it open to find Tobin inside. 

“Well, good morning to you Miss Heath.” Christen smirks, wrapping Tobin in a tight hug.

“Hey,” Tobin leans back giving Christen a kiss, “Coffee?” 

Tobin doesn’t even have to wait for Christen to answer that, already knowing what she’d say. She gives Christen a chance to drop her bags by her desk and moves to hold the door open for her so they could go. 

They make themselves a cup of coffee, sitting down next to Kelley. 

“Tobin Heath is alive again!” Kelley cheers in a sarcastic tone when she sits down opposite her. 

Christen gives her a confused look, brushing it off as one of Kelley’s jokes that no one understands. 

“Chris, you’re never allowed to have meetings for a full day again.” Kelley deadpans. 

“Uhm, why?” Christen asks with a raised eyebrow. 

Kelley chuckles, “Tobin was like a lost puppy without you here. I’ve never seen someone frown that much in one day.” Kelley starts laughing harder as Tobin hides her face in her hands when Christen nudges her. 

Christen leaves a kiss on Tobin’s temple, not wanting to embarrass her girlfriend further. She squeezes Tobin’s shoulder as she gets up to speak to Kristie on the other side of the room. 

Christen starts joining in on the teasing by the time they reach the office and Alex and Julie also leave a sarcastic comment about Tobin’s change in demeanor. She makes sure to do it subtly when the others aren’t around, wanting to spare her any more embarrassment in front of their friends but needing to get her own portion of teasing in privately. When Tobin is setting up the soccer pitch, laying out cones at the end of their day, Christen walks up to her elbowing her lightly. 

“Don’t look so lost, I’m still here!” Christen sniggers, laughing at Tobin rolling her eyes. “Sorry for always wanting you around, you can leave now.” 

Christen knows the comment is only meant light-hearted, “It’s a good job I always want you around too then, isn’t it.” 

“I’m heading out now, I still have a few notes I wanted to finish up from yesterday.” Christen explains, “What time do you think you’ll be back and I’ll start making some dinner?” 

“I can help you, you don’t have to cook by yourself babe.” 

  
  
Christen shakes her head, “It’s okay, I want to!” 

Tobin leaves Christen with a promise to text her once she’s finished with the soccer practice and that she’ll pick up a few groceries from the store on the way. 

The younger girl gets lost in her own thoughts on her way back. She’s been thinking a lot about Tobin and their relationship lately, particularly one aspect of it - living together. Even if it scares Christen, not having her own place to escape to - although she knows that they’re good at talking about any problems before they turn into arguments and never walking away from the other, rather giving each other a short amount of space until they’ve gathered all of their thoughts and emotions - she always finds herself getting stuck in the what ifs. 

  
  
Lately though, she’s noticed that every time she can think of an excuse as to why it would be a bad idea, she finds it being drowned out when she’s around Tobin. Christen knows she’s never felt this amount of safety, comfort and  _ love _ before. She’s never had someone be so patient with her, or have such large consideration towards her feelings and emotions. 

Her and Tobin just work. 

She can’t think of a time she’s ever felt out of sync with Tobin’s emotions, even when they were just friends. They accompany each other in the best way, both being strong individuals that don’t rely on the other to fix them, but rely on each other out of love.

\-------

Tobin returns home that night, softly shutting the front door behind her, dropping her bags in the kitchen on the way in. She sees Christen sitting on the couch, typing away and seemingly not aware of her presence.

“That smells delicious!” Tobin compliments softly, trying not to startle her girlfriend. 

Christen lets out a squeal, almost dropping her computer at the surprise of seeing that Tobin was already back. “I didn’t hear you come in.” Christen lets out as they’re both in fits of laughter. 

Tobin calms herself down, sitting next to Christen and leaning in for a kiss. She shuffles closer, resting her head on Christen’s shoulder to see what she’s doing. “Do you have much left to do?” 

Christen quickly types a short sentence, closing her computer and setting it aside with her notebook. “No,” She shakes her head, “I’m finished now anyway.” 

“What’s for dinner?” Tobin questions when Christen turns to pay attention to her. 

“Mac’n’cheese obviously.” Christen nudges Tobin, knowing very well that Tobin could happily live off the dish if she had to. 

Christen goes to check on their dinner, giving it another five minutes whilst they unpack the groceries and set the table. Tobin perks up, seemingly remembering something. “Oh! I got you something.” 

She looks at Tobin a little unsure, eyebrows raised as Tobin walks out of the room and gets what sounds like another bag from the small hallway at the front door. 

  
Tobin walks over to her, hands behind her back, as Christen stays rooted in her spot. Tobin gives her a beaming smile, which Christen can’t help but return. She unclasped her hands from behind her, pulling her right one to the front and holding up a bouquet of red roses. They had a little note stuck in them, clearly written in Tobin’s all-capitals handwriting that Christen loves to tease her about. She turns the note just enough to have a clear vision of what it says,  _ just because I love you.  _

Christen’s smile grows even wider, her arms throwing themselves around Tobin’s neck at the same time as her heart melts. “I love you so much, baby. You have no idea!” She sniffs, feeling tears of happiness threatening to spill out of her eyes. Tobin pulls her in tightly, inhaling Christen’s familiar scent and feeling so thankful to have Christen in her life. 

She pulls back, guiding Christen’s face towards hers and pulling her into a deep kiss. Once they’d pulled away again, Christen grabs a vase to place the flowers in, also finding a spare magnet and putting the note on her fridge when Tobin isn’t looking. 

Her earlier thoughts come back to her, running through her mind again.  _ Today.  _ Christen decides with herself, nodding silently and making a promise to herself. 

They sit around the small table having dinner, talking more than eating, something they often found themselves doing. Tobin begs Christen for a movie night once they’ve put their dishes away, claiming she didn’t get the ice cream for it to simply sit in the freezer. Christen agrees without hesitation, walking over to the freezer and having Tobin switch on the TV. 

She cuddles closely into Tobin, not leaving any space in between them. Christen finds herself distracted from the movie for most of it, biting her lip and having the same internal debate with herself over and over again. 

When the movie ends, she shuts the TV off, turning in Tobin’s arms so she can look in her eyes. “Tobs, can I ask you something?” 

  
  
“Of course you can.” Tobin agrees softly. 

“I’ve been thinking about this for a little while now and it’s totally fine if you’re not there yet or don’t want to, but I just wanted your thoughts on this…” Christen starts, earning a nod from Tobin. “What would you think about moving in together? I know that we haven’t even been together for a year yet, but I mean we practically live together already and spend so much time together, but I really love the idea of having somewhere that we can call  _ our  _ home.” Christen speaks a bit weary, not daring to look back up at Tobin yet. “And I really missed you last night and realised how much I hate sleeping without you.” She chuckles a little, slowly moving her eyes back up to look at Tobin. 

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot too,” Tobin nods calmly, “And I would absolutely love to move in together, but I just want to know if you’re sure! I know everything with your ex wasn’t so easy and that it took you some time to feel like yourself again, so I just want to make sure that you’re completely certain about it. I don’t want you to feel pressured either, I’ll be here and I’d wait for as long as you need.” 

“I promise I am.” Christen admits softly, “I love you so much and I see myself with you for a really long time, so I want to take this step with you.”

“Then I’d love nothing more than to move in together.” Tobin smiles, giving Christen a soft kiss. “I’m guessing we’ll move in here?”    


Christen shrugs, “That’s what I thought. I know you love this house too and since you’re just renting your place at the minute it would make sense to, but it’s up to you.”

“I want to stay here too.” Tobin agrees, “It might take us a little while, but my lease isn’t up for another few months so we’ll be able to take our time.” 

\-------

“Oh, I forgot to tell you that Channing called me today.” Christen remembers as they’re lying in bed later that night. 

“She did?” Tobin asks, knowing she heard Christen right but not wanting to force her to share anything. 

“About the wedding.” Christen nods.

Tobin props herself up on her elbow, wanting to show Christen that she’s paying attention.

“So, turns out they’re having it near Mikel’s hometown,” She continues, “And guess where that is?” 

Tobin shrugs, but a smile spreads across her face when Christen gives her a soft smile, biting her bottom lip. “It’s about fifteen to twenty minutes out from Panama City, so if you’re up for it, we could visit your parents too?” Christen asks hopefully, unsure why she’s nervous because she knows that Tobin would never turn down an opportunity to see her family. 

“No way, really?” Tobin asks shocked, “My mom would love that!” 

Christen reaches for her phone, showing Tobin the address that Channing had sent her earlier, finding out that it’s only a short twenty minute drive from Cindy and Jeff’s Grayton Beach house. 

“Are you excited for the wedding?” 

“Yeah, I am.” Christen nods, “Mikel is great for her, they’re great for each other and I’m happy that Channing is happy.” She smiles, “Uhm, I know we haven’t really discussed this yet but do you want to come to the wedding with me?” 

“Is me coming to the wedding something you want?” Tobin questions in an unaccusing tone, making it clear that she wouldn’t be upset if Christen said no.

“Do you want my honest thoughts?” 

“Mhm, always.” Tobin confirms, not wanting Christen to ever feel afraid to share all of her thoughts. She reaches forward to brush a hair out of Christen’s face.

Christen lets out a deep sigh, “It’s not that I don’t want you there. I’d love to have you there and I’m so proud of you and to be with you, so I want you to know that it has nothing to do with that.” Christen states seriously, to which Tobin nods, showing Christen that she understands that. “I just don’t want you or Channing to get hurt.”

“As stupid as this sounds, I worry so much now about what the rest of my family thinks about me. What if she loses some of her friends because they don’t agree with my sexuality or what if someone says something about me and ruins her wedding? I could handle someone saying something to me and I’d get over it, but I’d never forgive myself if it ruined Channing’s day or if something hurtful was said to you.” 

Christen runs a hand through her hair, “But at the same time, it’s who I am. I’m not ashamed to be me, yet I feel like I need to hide it to not ruin Channing’s day and that sucks. So my honest answer is that I don’t know. It doesn’t have anything to do with me being ashamed of being with you, which I am most definitely not, I just feel like I need to protect you both as stupid as that sounds.” 

Tobin shakes her head, “That doesn’t sound stupid. It sounds like the Christen I know, that has the biggest heart and prioritises everyone else's feelings over her own. I don’t want you to stress about this now.” Tobin pulls Christen into her, until she’s close enough to rest her head down on Tobin’s chest. 

She runs her hand through Christen’s curls, “Take me out of this decision and do what you think is going to be best for you and Channing. If you want me to come, I’ll be there in a heartbeat, but if you don’t then I can go visit mom and dad for the night and that’s fine too.” Christen nods and buries her face into Tobin’s neck. 

“We’ve still got some time for you to think about it. Just sleep now, babe, but I just want you to know that you can decide whatever you want without worrying about me. I won’t be upset if you don’t want me to go and I understand why.” 

  
  



	15. Now or Never

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make it count,  
> It's now or never.

“Are you all packed?” Tobin wonders. She’s sitting on the floor, closing her suitcase and standing it up against the wall by their bedroom door. 

Christen nods, “I just need to remember my charging cable and shampoo tomorrow.” 

Tobin falls onto her side of the bed with a tired sigh, rolling over to bury her face in the pillow. Christen laughs at her dramatics, putting her book down and rolling over so she’s pressed up against Tobin. 

“You still alive?” Christen asks as she pokes Tobin’s shoulder jokingly. 

Tobin lifts her head, turning it slightly to look at Christen before letting it fall again. “I hate packing. It always takes  _ so  _ long.” 

“Don’t we all,” Christen laughs, “I’d like some cuddles now if you’d be kind enough to scoot yourself closer.” 

“Let me go and brush my teeth first,” Tobin requests, rolling off the bed dramatically again. 

She walks towards the bathroom, hurriedly brushing her teeth and putting on Christen’s oversized Stanford shirt before pulling the covers back and settling in them. 

“Come here,” Tobin opens her arms for Christen to tuck herself into. Christen moves over, still staying far enough to see Tobin’s face. 

Christen puts her hand on the side of Tobin’s neck, pulling her face closer and leaning into a deep kiss. Their moment is interrupted when Tobin’s phone starts ringing. 

“Katie wants to FaceTime.” Tobin says, resting her head next to Christen’s on the pillow and accepting her call. 

Katie had been wanting to visit her parents this month, having planned a short visit without Ellie or James for a while now, and managed to line it up with Christen and Tobin’s so she’d be able to see the couple too.

“Hey,” Tobin calls from her end of the phone at the same time as Christen greets her, “Hi Katie.” 

“Hey, you two. Are you all packed for tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, I just finished and Chris packed earlier.” 

“Leaving it last minute again, Heath? Someone needs to teach the rules for packing.”

Christen laughed, “Our flight isn’t until midday, so I’m surprised she didn’t leave it until tomorrow morning.” 

She earned a light slap on the arm from Tobin, making Katie laugh even harder. 

“Well, I’m excited to see you both tomorrow! I can pick you up from the airport if you want?” 

“You don’t have to do that,” Christen shakes her head, “It’ll probably be quite late if we’re delayed and with baggage claim and everything.” 

“Nonsense, I’ll be there.” Katie shuts her down, “You can either get into the car or get an Uber but I’ll be there either way.” She states, knowing them declining the offer only meant good. 

“Thank you!” Tobin smiles at her.

“I’ll let you both get some sleep now,” Katie says, “Bye, I love you guys.” 

  
  
Tobin and Christen wave at the camera, “Bye Katie.” 

“Love you, see you tomorrow.” Tobin speaks from her end of the call. 

The call finishes and Tobin plugs in her phone, placing it on the bedside table and making sure she has her alarm set. She turns back towards Christen, ready to let sleep find her before their six hour flight the next day. 

\-------

“You’re going to love my parents house!” Tobin smiles gently as they’re waiting for their luggage by the baggage claim area. 

Their flight had gone smooth and was right on time. Tobin didn’t sleep on the plane this time, much to Christen’s surprise, instead choosing to annoy Christen the whole time - teasing her or rambling on about the most random stories or observations she made of people on the plane. 

Christen put effort into acting bothered by it for the first hour, but her cover blew when she started laughing about Tobin’s random comments and jokes. 

Tobin and Christen were staying in Florida for the full week, much to Cindy’s excitement. They planned on staying at Cindy and Jeff’s place for most of their stay, only booking a hotel room with the rest of the wedding crew for the night of the wedding. 

The evening sun was still shining brightly onto the airport when they walked through the doors, breathing in the Florida air. Tobin pulled her phone out, about to text Katie, when she heard someone shout their name from the drop-off area. Christen’s eyes searched through the short queue, finding Katie instantly and tugging Tobin into a walk. 

The cars behind them were starting to move towards them, so they placed their bags into the trunk and hopped into Cindy’s car that Katie had been driving too during her stay. 

“How are you?” Katie said excitedly, pulling out of her parking spot and towards the road. 

“We’re great. How are you, how’s the family?” Christen answers as Tobin nods along.

Katie laughs, “We’re good too. I think Ellie might be turning into a teenager already. I never knew four-year-olds can have such cheeky facial expressions!” 

Katie fills them in on Ellie’s latest antics during the drive, also informing the couple how excited Cindy was to have Tobin and Christen in Florida with them. 

“Christen, I swear mom is your biggest fan. She’s been telling her friends from yoga all about you. She didn’t even deny it when I told her that she loves you more than her actual children.” 

Tobin smiles widely, giving Christen’s thigh a loving squeeze, knowing how much this will mean to the younger girl. Having confirmation that her mom loves Christen almost as much as she does definitely didn’t hurt either. 

“She’s the sweetest!” Christen blinks, trying to keep her emotions at bay. She had instantly felt welcomed and loved by Tobin’s family and it meant the world to her that Cindy not only supported her and Tobin, but also supported her as an individual. 

Katie pulls into the driveway and Christen’s jaw drops. 

“This is better than any of the photos you sent me over Christmas, Tobs.” She nudges Tobin gently, “I might never leave again.” Christen jokes, causing Katie to give her teasing look. “You’re already Cindy’s favorite, no need to butter her up even more.”

Tobin cracks up at the joke, feeling high on love and at peace watching her girlfriend and sister tease each other like it was a natural and they’d known each other for years. 

The front door swings open as they’re making their way towards the front porch. “Christen! Tobin!” Cindy squeals with excitement. 

She walks down the steps to meet them and take some of their luggage off them. The group has barely taken a step inside before Cindy pulls them into her. 

“I’m so happy to have you guys here!” Cindy smiles widely, releasing Christen from her hug and switching places with Jeff to hug her youngest daughter. 

Jeff moves over to Christen, “It’s not too late to leave.” Christen gives him a soft smile, “There’s nowhere I’d rather be!” 

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He laughs as they both shake their heads with smiles at Cindy’s excitement. Christen chuckles at his statement, looking around and registering the house for the first time. 

“It looks gorgeous in here, Cindy!” Christen watches Cindy’s eyes light up, “You need a house tour.” 

Katie steps further into the room, “Mom, let them breathe for a minute. They literally just got here.” 

Cindy almost looks guilty for a moment, “Sorry, I’m just really excited to have you guys.” 

“I’m so excited to be here.” Christen quickly reassures her, not wanting to bring her mood down. Tobin agrees at the same time. “We’re excited to be here too.”

“Do you want the house tour now or later?” Cindy asks in a hopeful tone. Christen being the good sport she is, doesn’t miss a beat. “I’m up for it now.” 

Cindy shows Christen around the house, the younger girl instantly falling in love with the views and sound of the ocean right by the house. Jeff pours them all a glass of wine, which they happily accept as they settle around the firepit outside, preparing for the sun to set. 

“I never asked you guys how the moving went.” Jeff realizes, making sure to add some teasing to his realization. “Are you sick of each other yet?” 

Cindy had been constantly checking in with the couple, updating Jeff about their situation too. They occasionally spoke to Jeff when they called Cindy, but most of the time he was busy with work. He knew from what Cindy told him that they’d finished everything that they wanted to change in the house about a month ago, but he hadn't had a chance to directly ask the pair about it yet. 

“Definitely not sick of each other.” Tobin declares, reaching to put her hand on Christen’s thigh. “It all went really well though.” 

“Have you found that it feels different now?” Katie wonders, knowing how scary and new it felt when her and James first moved in together. 

Christen puts her hand on top of Tobin’s, still resting on her thigh, and gives it a loving squeeze. “For me it has and it hasn’t.” Christen shrugs, “It’s been a really nice change for both of us to have the same place to call home and all those little things, but we were at the point where I could have counted on one hand how many nights we spent apart so that part didn’t make much of a difference.”

Tobin chuckles to herself, thinking about the last time they spent the night apart and ended up falling asleep on the phone because they missed each other too much. She sees Cindy giving them both a soft smile, feeling at peace knowing that her daughter always has Christen and isn’t by herself. 

The sun starts going down slowly and they collect blankets from inside when the air starts to get cooler. Tobin, Christen and Katie all squish on one of the small patio sofas, laughing hysterically from a mixture of acting like fools and the buzz in their system from the light alcohol they’d consumed. 

“I feel like I wouldn’t be doing my job as a girlfriend if I don’t ask you this,” Christen looks over to Cindy and Jeff, “Have you got any good photos of Tobin from when she was younger?” 

Cindy jumps up from her seat, Tobin throwing her head back with a groan. 

“And guess who’s sleeping on the floor tonight.” Tobin exclaims, lifting her head up again. 

Katie slaps Tobin’s arm, “That’s not a way to treat your girlfriend.” 

Cindy returns with an album full of photographs. Christen takes her time gushing over them, getting in her fair share of teasing and laughs when Cindy and Jeff tell her some of the stories behind them. 

Tobin acted like they were torturing her, but knew deep down that she loved this interaction and how natural it felt for them all. 

“Oh my gosh Tobs, I have to show this one to Kelley and Ash. We were just talking about this the other day!” Christen pulls out her phone, sending the shot she just took of Tobin holding an award in middle school to their group chat. 

Tobin pretends to frown when she feels her phone vibrate next to her, seeing it light up with the message. She knows it’s all in good fun though and that she wouldn’t say no to Christen, especially if it made her smile. 

“Definitely sleeping on the floor tonight.” Tobin murmurs with a chuckle, only loud enough for Christen to hear. The younger girl just leans into Tobin slightly, turning the page to reveal Tobin’s yearbook photos. 

\--------

“Relax, baby. You’ll be fine. I love you.” Tobin leans across the centre control to kiss Christen and usher her out of the car. 

Christen was attending Channing’s bachelorette party today. She’d arranged for Tobin to drop her off at the hotel and then pick her up again later. Knowing Channing, her bachelorette party would be more relaxing and a fun time with friends rather than some of the crazy parties she’s been to in the past. She wasn’t sure what caused her nerves to spark tonight, despite knowing that it would only be the bridesmaids today.

“CHRIS!” Channing shouts when she opens the hotel room door, pulling Christen into a tight hug. 

“I can’t believe my baby sister is getting married in three days.” Christen speaks up, pulling Channing in tighter. 

Tyler opens the door wider, letting Christen in and hugging her close. 

Channing and Tyler had told Christen to come earlier than everyone else, wanting to spend some time with their sister and check in with her in person. They’d recently discussed that they both felt she still tensed up ever so slightly when she spoke to them - something they’d never intended to happen. 

“How are you?” Channing asks in a serious tone. 

“Hey, this is your wedding and about  _ you,  _ not me!” 

“Well we’ve got an hour before everyone else gets here so then it can be about me, but for the next hour it’s about you.” Channing hugs Christen again, shorter this time, and tugs her hand to join them on the made hotel bed. 

Christen rolls her eyes but sits down anyway, feeling warmth at how considerate her sisters were. 

“I’m good, I’ve been really happy.” Christen tells them truthfully. 

Tyler and Channing talk to her for a while, easing her nerves but not pushing too far. 

“Hold up, is Tobin in Florida too?” Tyler wonders with a quirked eyebrow when she realizes that Christen had been referring to yesterday's activities with a ‘we’ instead of an ‘I’. 

Christen nods, slightly taken aback by the sudden change of topic. 

“Why isn’t she here right now? I thought we were gonna have a chance to meet her today.” Channing says with a frown. 

Christen shrugs, “You did say it was bridesmaids only.” 

Tyler’s face lights up, “So we’ll meet her at the wedding?” 

“Oh, um, I’m not sure yet. We haven’t really decided if she’s coming or not.” Christen says truthfully. 

“Why not?” Channing’s eyebrows furrow. 

Christen looks down at her hands, starting her nervous habit of twisting the ring on her middle finger again. 

“Please just tell me, I promise we won’t judge your decision.” Channing speaks softly, reaching for Christen’s hand. 

“I don’t really know. It’s supposed to be your big day and I didn’t want to ruin that.” Christen speaks quietly. 

Tyler looks up at Channing, “How would you ruin that?”

“By bringing my girlfriend as my date and causing a scene. What if one of your friends doesn’t support that and changes their mind about being here or what about mom and dad?” She starts all of the sudden, sighing sadly. “I guess I was protecting Tobin too. I can deal with people lashing out at me, but I don’t want anything of that sort happening to Tobin. I just, I love her so much and I don’t want her getting hurt if it’s my fault.” 

“First of all,  _ anyone  _ that doesn’t accept one of my sisters as who they are, isn’t really my friend anyway. Secondly, I will personally make sure that mom and dad don’t say anything - I swear. I’m sure Tobin is an amazing person and if anyone doesn’t want her or you here, at  _ my  _ wedding might I point out, then they can scrap their invite.” Channing smiles at her softly, “The only way my day could be ruined was if you come alone and aren’t as happy as you would be with Tobin there.”

  
“What if we make it easier on you?” Tyler asks, “Why don’t us three and Tobin go out for coffee at some point tomorrow and get to know her a bit. You can make a decision about the wedding later, but I still stand on the fact that I have to meet Tobin this week.” 

Christen takes a moment to think on it, not yet looking up. 

“Please?” Channing requests, “It doesn’t even have to be long, maybe just for an hour or two.”

  
“I promise we won’t say anything bad, we would never want to get in the way of your happiness.”

  
Christen sighs, “Okay, I’ll ask Tobin about it tonight and if she’s up for it then sure.” 

Channing and Tyler seem satisfied enough with the answer, dropping the topic afterwards and moving on to talking about plans for Channing’s wedding. Christen knew she’d have to tell them more about her and Tobin eventually, but it could wait for now. She was here for Channing’s wedding and not to talk about her own relationship after all. 

It wasn’t long before the rest of the girls started to gather in the room too. There were nine of them in total and even though Christen hasn’t shared many conversations with a lot of them, she’s known them all for years, having seen most of them grow up with her little sister.

They stay in the hotel, having a spa day before dressing up and heading to a local bar. Christen doesn’t drink much, only a couple of glasses of vodka soda, not really being a big drinker or feelings like getting drunk tonight. She just wanted to enjoy the night and remember it for the years to come.

She calls Tobin not long after midnight, ready to call it a night. She says her goodbyes as everyone heads to their hotel rooms, only Channing and Tyler still waiting outside with her. 

“Are you not staying in the same hotel?” Channing wonders when Christen stalls outside. 

“We are, but just for the night of the wedding.” Christen reveals, “Tobin’s parents don’t live very far from here, so we’ve been spending some time with them whilst we’re here.”

Tyler nods, “Is her family nice?”

  
“They’re so sweet,” a smile makes its way onto Christen’s face, “Her siblings are lovely too.”

Channing moves over to the bench, suggesting they sit down whilst they wait for Tobin. 

“Do you spend a lot of time with each other outside of work?” Tyler can’t help but be a little nosy, feeling like she isn’t doing her part as a sister if she wasn’t.

“We actually moved in together a couple months ago, so yeah.” Christen bites her lip, having not told her sisters that part yet. They’d stayed in regular contact over the months, but they never pushed her on her relationship so Christen never mentioned it in detail. 

Channing squeals, “You moved in together? That’s so exciting!” 

Christen shakes her head through a chuckle at Channing’s antics. 

  
“You really love her don’t you?” Tyler squeezes Christen’s arm. 

“So much.” Christen nods. 

Before they have a chance to interrogate her any further, the familiar car pulls up by the hotel and Christen hugs her sisters goodbye. 

“Hey baby.” Christen greets as she climbs into the car.

“Hey,” Tobin leans in to peck Christen’s lips, “How was it?”

Christen dives into the story, telling Tobin about all of Channing’s friends and what they got up to that night. She leaves out the conversation with Channing and Tyler, not feeling like this was the right setting for it. She wanted to be able to look into Tobin’s eyes and gauge her reaction when she tells her. 

And Christen did just that. 

Christen shuffles under the covers later that night, Tobin still sitting up against the headboard and writing in her journal. She waits until Tobin finishes, putting the notebook aside and then craning her neck to look at Christen. 

“Come here,” Tobin lifts her arm for Christen to cuddle into her. 

“Channing and Tyler asked about you,” Christen starts once she’s settled, watching Tobin’s reaction carefully. 

“They did?” Tobin asks, a hint of surprise in her voice. 

“They invited us both for coffee tomorrow, or I guess today.” She smiles, trying to show Tobin that she wasn’t as tense or nervous as she’d usually be.

Tobin waits for her to continue, “I just told them that I’d ask you if you were up for it.” 

“Are  _ you  _ up for it?” Tobin asks, wanting Christen’s opinion before anything else. 

Christen nods. She’d spent all night thinking about it, and when it came down to it, she did want her sisters to meet Tobin. She wanted them to see the loving and caring person she’s been sharing her life with. She knew her sisters accepted and supported her, but meeting her girlfriend would be a whole different story. Christen knew though, that she would still have Tobin by her side at the end of the day and she saw the sincerity in her sister’s eyes when they told her that they’d never do anything to mess with her happiness. She knew they wouldn’t. 

Years ago she might have been afraid that they wouldn’t like the person she was with and didn’t support their relationship. It was different with Tobin. Apart from the fact that she thought it was impossible to not like Tobin, she also knew that she would prioritise her own happiness and pick Tobin over anyone else - not that she believed it would even come down to that. 

“I am. I love you and I’m in this for a long time, so I want them to meet the most important person in my life.”

“Then I’m up for it too,” Tobin agreed easily, “I love you and I’m in this for a long time too.” 

\-------

Tobin wakes up the next morning and has to stifle a laugh at how cute Christen looked. She was resting her head on Tobin’s chest, looking completely exhausted from her unusually late night sleep, mouth hanging wide open as she snored lightly. 

She lies there for a moment, just enjoying the closeness before pulling out from underneath Christen gently, throwing on some sweatpants and making her way downstairs. 

“Morning, sweetheart.” Her mom’s voice echoes through the room as she comes around the corner, entering the kitchen in search of some coffee.

“Hi, mom.” Tobin walks over to the older woman, pulling her into a short hug.

“Is Christen still asleep?”

“Yeah,” Tobin chuckles, “She’s not used to going to sleep after 7pm.” Tobin jokes, referring to Christen’s routine of usually sleeping before eleven pm. A year ago, Tobin would have stayed up until way later in the night, but she quickly found herself in a new routine when her nights were spent with Christen. She enjoyed going to bed with her and falling asleep in each other’s arms too much to stay awake longer, and the newfound energy she had when waking up early didn’t hurt either. 

Cindy passes Tobin a cup of coffee, “Did she have a good time last night?” 

“Everything went well, I think.” Tobin nods, “She was happy and said she had a great time.” 

Cindy hums in acknowledgement, glad to hear that Christen hadn’t been upset. She didn’t know every detail of what happened with her family or how close she was with them now, but she feels a sense of motherly protection over the girl - seeing how pure and loving her soul is. She could tell how much love Christen and Tobin shared, more than happy to watch their relationship grow from the sidelines, and not feeling the need to interfere or speak her mind. Cindy could tell how intune they were with each other's emotions and how well they compliment each other. 

If she really came to think about it, she never even considered giving Christen  _ the talk  _ or voicing her concerns about her youngest daughter being in a relationship with Christen - not to mention that they’re co-workers and it was risky if a break-up were to happen. 

Heck, when they told her that they were moving in together, she didn’t even think to be concerned about the fact that they’d been together for less than a year. She simply saw the adoration and love in their eyes and knew that they were made to be together. 

If someone would have told her a few years ago that Tobin could end up in a relationship with someone that doesn’t have a supportive family, Cindy thinks she would have been skeptical or cautious that they could be using Tobin’s caring nature as a safety net. 

As soon as she heard the way Tobin spoke about Christen and met her, she forgot what she could have been worried about in the first place. She could instantly tell that Christen was never begging for Tobin’s help, instead leaning on her support; but she could also tell that Christen would do just about anything for Tobin when the roles are reversed. 

“I’m meeting Christen’s sisters today.” Tobin’s voice cuts Cindy out of her thoughts.

“Oh, really?” Cindy asks a little surprised, not having expected that. 

“They asked if they could meet me yesterday, so we’re going out with them later on.” 

“That’ll be nice.” Cindy responds, unsure of how her daughter felt about it. 

She could see that there was something bothering her, but she didn’t want to push her on it. She didn’t get a chance to think about it any further, as Tobin spoke up again.

“Do you think they’ll like me?” Tobin asks Cindy, her voice fragile and weak. 

“What?” Cindy wonders with confusion.

“Christen’s sisters. Do you think they’ll like me or will they think that she could do better?” 

“Tobin, you two are perfect for each other.” Cindy says in slight disbelief, wondering what caused her daughter to think like this. 

“I just, I don’t know. I guess I’m just scared that they don’t think I’m good enough for Chris.” 

Cindy doesn’t get another chance to reply, a sleepy Christen walking into the kitchen, clearly having heard some of the conversation. 

“Babe, stop. You’re my favorite person in the world.” Christen shakes her head softly, padding over to Tobin and pulling her into a hug. Cindy gives Christen a light squeeze on the shoulder, seeing this as her cue to leave the room. 

Christen pulls back a little, “I love you, and they’re going to love you as well.” 

“I love you too.” Tobin closes her eyes as Christen kisses her temple, “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize, baby. I felt like a nervous wreck before I met your family and I thought they’d think that too, but you’re  _ my  _ person, Tobs. You’re the person that’s always there for me, my shoulder to cry on and the one I get to share all of my memories with. You make me so happy and they’ll see that, I promise.”

Tobin captures Christen’s lips with teary eyes, “Have I ever told you how much I love you?” 

“Not that I can recall…” Christen plays along.

“Well, I love you. A whole lot.” Tobin chokes out with a smile on her face and silent tears on her cheeks. “I’m so fucking lucky.” She whispers into Christen’s hair, just loud enough for Christen to make out her words. 

They stay in each other's arms for a long moment before getting ready to start the day, cooking some breakfast for Tobin’s parents and Katie. Christen texts Channing to ask if they wanted to just meet for lunch, knowing that they’d probably stayed up way later than Christen the previous night. Channing agrees right away, letting her know that she’d inform Tyler of their plans. 

Before they know it, they’re driving towards a cafe by the beach in Cindy’s car. Christen can sense Tobin’s nerves as they step out of the car, seeing her chill vibed layer being replaced with the vulnerable one that she reserves only for her family, but mainly Christen. Christen knows first hand that despite this version of Tobin being just as caring and loving as the other one, this one is more fragile and almost softer - if that were possible. She moves closer to Tobin, intertwining their fingers and squeezing Tobin’s hand for reassurance. 

Christen looks around the small cafe, easily spotting her sisters and tugging Tobin along, giving her hand one more squeeze before dropping it to wrap an arm around Tobin’s waist instead. 

“Hey!” She exclaims as they come to a stop in front of the table, “Tyler, Chan this is Tobin. Tobs, this is Channing and this is Tyler.” Christen points to her sisters, who give Tobin a bright smile and stand up to hug the pair. 

“It’s so nice to finally meet you in person!” Tyler gently pulls Tobin into a hug as Channing moves to hug Christen. 

“Hey, it’s so good to meet you.” Channing takes her turn hugging Tobin, Christen pulling Tyler in as she whispers in Christen’s ear. “Chris, what the heck. She’s so hot.” 

  
  
Channing signals for Christen and Tobin to sit down. The younger girl rests her hand on her girlfriend’s thigh for some comfort and to help calm her. 

Lunch goes even better than Christen could have hoped for. Within ten minutes of them being there, Tobin’s layer of nerves has faded and she’s back to her laid-back self, easily winning the two sisters over. Christen feels lighter than she has around her sisters in a long time, happy that they both seem to be enjoying Tobin’s company. 

“I’m gonna order another drink, do you want anything else babe?” Tobin pulls her chair out slightly, preparing to stand up. 

“I’m good, thanks.” She shakes her head and smiles.

  
Tobin directs her attention to Christen’s sisters, “Channing? Tyler?” 

“We’re alright for now, thank you.” 

As soon as Tobin walks away from the table and towards the counter, all of the attention is aimed at Christen again. 

“Oh, you’ve got it bad Chris. I’ve never seen you like this before.” Tyler clasps her hands together.

Channing was always the more calm and reserved one out of the two, “She’s so sweet!”

  
They end up staying at the cafe for longer than expected, not leaving until the early afternoon. The foursome take turns hugging each other goodbye before parting ways. 

“Thank you for letting us meet Tobin. She’s really great.” Tyler whispers into Christen’s hair as they pull apart. She moves over to Tobin, “It was so nice meeting you. I’ve never seen her this happy before and I have a pretty good feeling that it has nothing to do with Florida and everything to do with you.” 

Channing follows the opposite way, hugging Tobin first. “Thank you for always looking after Chris.” Tobin squeezes her a little tighter before pulling away. “It’s your decision and I won’t push you on this, but please consider bringing Tobin to the wedding. I’d love to have her there and I promise you that you don’t have to worry about anything. No one will say anything, but if they do they’ll be straight out of there.” 

Christen nods lightly, letting Channing continue. “I just want to see you happy and it’s clear how happy Tobin makes you.” 

Christen ponder's on those words for the rest of the night, keeping them at the forefront of her mind. 

Tobin and Christen are the last ones up that night, turning the television off and walking up the stairs to get ready. They brush their teeth side by side, pulling faces at each other and lightly bumping hips. Christen rinses her mouth out and washes her face before resting against the sink and looking at Tobin. 

“I know we haven’t spoken about this in a little while, but how would you feel about coming to the wedding with me?”   
  


Tobin looked into Christen’s eyes, searching for any hint of hesitation or uncertainty, but unable to find any. “I would love going to the wedding with you, especially after meeting Channing and Tyler today, but only if that’s what you want.”   
  


“I do want that. I shouldn’t act like someone different just because my parents are around. That won’t change anything apart from making me unhappy because I’d want you there all night.”

“Okay,” Tobin nods, “Then I’ll come.” 

She embraces Christen in her arms, “I have to make sure that no one thinks you’re single after all.” 

Christen giggles at Tobin’s joke, pulling her out of the bathroom. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been thinking of making a one-shot series alongside this for moments that I skipped or don't include in the main storyline (like the story behind the ring, the actual moving in process and some random ideas that I come up with about their relationship etc) so please lmk what you think about that.


	16. Can I Have This Dance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's like catching lightning,  
> The chances of finding someone like you.  
> It's one in a million,  
> The chances of feeling the way we do.

Tobin was trying to stay calm. Maybe she was doing a bad job at it and maybe she wasn’t good at hiding that either, but she was calm.

Okay,  _ maybe  _ she would have been freaking out by now if it wasn’t for Christen needing her to keep her usual reassuring and relaxed personality. She knew that the minute she’d show any sign of nerves, Christen would most likely freak out too and she wanted to avoid that at all costs. 

She takes one last deep breath and checks herself in the mirror. Tobin is wearing a tight black dress that reaches just above her knees and a pair of heels that would definitely be abandoned sooner rather than later. She nods at herself, satisfied with the look and turns to locate her phone. 

Christen’s walking out of the bathroom, having finished her makeup, just as Tobin was ready too. 

They take a short moment to admire each other - Tobin loving the way Christen’s bridesmaid dress hugs her body and Christen’s mouth going dry at the sight of Tobin. They both start laughing when their eyes lock, realizing they were both having the same thoughts and looking the other up and down. 

“You look beautiful.” Christen smiles brightly, kissing Tobin’s lips, trying not to ruin the clear lip gloss she’d just applied to her lips. 

“You don’t look too bad yourself.” Tobin comments, checking if her girlfriend was ready to go. 

They were meeting Channing and all the other bridesmaids at the venue, so they are supposed to get there whilst Channing gets ready. 

Tobin calls them a cab. Channing and Mikel didn’t want a traditional church wedding, instead having it at a local outdoor venue. The walk to it wasn’t far, but neither of them wanted to start walking in heels this early, knowing very well that they’d probably be barefoot before they even start the wedding reception. 

\-------

“Chan, you look amazing.” Stacy tells her youngest daughter with teary eyes, “When did you grow up so fast?” 

Channing smiles back at her mother, squeezing her hand. 

“Chris just texted and they’re nearly here, I’ll go meet them at the front so they know where to go.” Tyler calls across the small room, forgetting her mother’s presence for a moment. She’s out of the room before the realization hits her.

Stacy’s face twists, which Channing doesn’t miss whilst looking at the mirror hanging up on the grey wall. 

“I didn’t know Christen was coming today.” Stacy speaks bluntly. 

Cody enters the room again and Channing ignores his entrance, continuing the conversation with her mom, knowing she’d have to do this before the service anyway. 

Channing plays dumb, really not wanting her mother to get into this now. “She’s my sister, why wouldn’t she be here?” 

“Well, I just thought-”

  
  
“What’s this about?” Cody asks, tilting his head to the side. 

“Christen’s here.” Stacy repeats without hesitation. 

  
Channing rolls her eyes, “Yes, yes she is because whatever problem you guys still have with her doesn’t have anything to do with me. It’s not my business to get involved, even though I personally find it ridiculous, but I wanted her here as my bridesmaid so she came. She could have stayed home and not been around you guys after what you did, but she still chose to show up for me.” 

  
  
Cody and Stacy look taken aback by their youngest daughter’s outburst. Channing had always been the quiet one that never spoke her mind. She wasn’t done yet though, wanting to get to the point whilst the words were flowing out of her so she didn’t have to deal with any more of this later. 

“And I swear to God, if either of you are going to say something hurtful to her, you can just leave now and not come to my wedding. This is my day and I’m not going to have it ruined by you two not being able to keep your opinions to yourselves. So please, for everyone’s sake just stay out of her way and don’t approach her.” Channing shakes her head with frustration, “You’re my parents and I love you both so much, but I truly mean that you’ll just have to leave if you’re going to talk to Christen as much as I’d rather have you both here with me.” 

“Frankly, her life isn’t really your business anymore anyway, so please just pretend she’s not here or whatever you need to do but don’t cause unnecessary problems.” 

They stay silent for a minute as Channing looks between both her parents who share a slightly ashamed look. “Okay.” They both sigh loudly, not wanting to ruin Channing’s wedding day. Cody was more than aware that Channing would stick to her word and not hesitate to throw either of them out of the wedding if they caused any problems, something he definitely didn’t want. 

“Great.” Channing’s voice goes soft again, “I better finish getting ready.” 

“We’re just gonna go and check on Mikel, sweetheart. We’ll be right back.” Stacy gives her daughter a hug from the side, kissing her on the cheek and disappearing out of the door. 

The door opens again shortly after, Tyler walking through with the bridesmaids and Tobin trailing behind her.

“You’re the most beautiful bride ever!” Christen calls out right away, her eyes starting to well up slightly. 

“Hey now, you said the same to me on my wedding day.” Tyler slaps Christen’s arm with disbelief. 

“You look stunning.” Tobin greets Channing, “How are you feeling?”

  
  
“Ready, but so nervous.” She admits, “What if I trip over or completely mess up my vows?” 

“You won’t.” Christen shakes her head, “And if you do it’s fine, just extra entertainment for me.” 

“Not helping, Chris.” Channing laughs. 

“Seriously, you’ll be fine!” 

Channing murmurs quietly, knowing Christen was probably right. “I sure hope so.” 

“There were a few people already gathering outside, so I’ll leave you guys to it.” Tobin smiles kindly, wishing Channing some good luck trying not to fall over which gets her an eye roll, and leaving Christen with a short peck on the lips. Christen had tried to convince Tobin to stay with them when they were speaking about it earlier that day. She didn’t want Tobin to be by herself, not knowing anyone else in attendance, but Tobin insisted that she’d be perfectly fine and was too stubborn to convince otherwise.

She walks out of the large barn-style doors at the front of the building, wanting to get a better view of the venue from the outside. It had a stunning location, the ocean clearly being visible off the end of the cliffs. 

When she walks around the side of the building, wanting to take a picture of the view before it would be filled with people, she sees a man that couldn’t be much older than her, standing on the side doing the same. 

“It’s an amazing view, isn’t it?” Tobin asks with a smile, figuring she might as well make conversation with other guests whilst she was by herself. 

The man nods his head with a chuckle, “I loved my wedding venue, but I’m starting to think I should have got married by the beach too.” 

“I’m Tobin,” She sticks her hand out for him. 

He reaches out, shaking her hand. “I’m -, wait are you Christen’s Tobin?” 

Tobin nods her head, “That would be me.” 

“I’ve heard  _ a lot  _ about you.” He speaks easily, realizing how strange that sounds when Tobin quirks her eyebrows. 

“I should probably introduce myself,” He laughs, “I’m Will, Tyler’s husband.” 

“Right,” Tobin laughs too, “That makes more sense now.” 

“So normally I’d feel like I’d have to give you the whole  _ what are your intentions with Christen  _ talk since she’s like my little sister, but from how many good things Channing and Tyler said about you the other day, I really think we can skip that.” Will says teasingly. Well, only half teasing because he’d usually do that before Cody even gets a chance to. 

Tobin blushes lightly at hearing Christen’s sisters had been speaking so highly of her. “They’re really great, I’m so glad I got to meet them!” 

He smiles kindly, knowing first hand how happy they had been to meet Christen’s girlfriend. 

“I hope you realize that we have another hour before the wedding ceremony, so I still have some time to interrogate you.”    


They both laugh, knowing he’s only joking. Conversation flows easily between the two, Will making sure to tell Tobin some of Christen’s funniest and most embarrassing stories he can come up with. They discuss their shared love for surfing, Tobin also finds out how Tyler and Will met and he shares his wedding day. They both avoid the deeper topics between the siblings from the past few months, having only just met and wanting to keep the mood light. 

“It’s not my business but Christen might murder me if I don’t do this, so I better let you know before we go inside.” He switches to a more serious tone, “The woman over there in the pastel dress is Christen’s mom, Stacy, and next to her is Christen’s dad, Cody. Honestly, they won’t know who you are anyway and I doubt they’ll come up to Christen as Channing or Tyler probably gave them a talking to already, but just in case you accidentally find yourself in a conversation with either of them, you’ll know who they are.” 

Tobin nods, “I don’t want Christen to have any problems tonight so I best just stay out of their way.”

“I think Christen is more concerned about you than herself, but that seems like a good idea for now. I’m guessing Christen will probably do the same.” He sighs with defeat, “I just don’t get it.” 

“Don’t get what?” Tobin asks him. 

“Stacy and Cody.” Will looks back over to the direction of the two parents, “I know this is going to sound silly when I say it, but they’re hands down two of the nicest people I’ve ever met. They treat me like their own child, they have so much love for everyone and they’re so funny.”

“I just never expected something like this from them. Not in a million years did I think they’d even have it in them to be that rude, nevermind kick their own daughter out.”

  
  
“I wish it would have gone differently for her.” Tobin smiles sadly.

“Were you guys already together then?” Will asks with a hint of wonder in his tone. Since he hadn't gotten the chance to officially meet up with Tobin and Christen together yet, he didn’t know how long they’d been together now. 

“No. We were just close friends at the time,” Tobin shakes her head, hesitating to continue for a minute. “She came over to mine that night,” She looks down at her hands, “It was really hard to see her go through that.” 

“I can imagine,” Will nods with a sad smile, “She’s a lot better now, Tobin. She seems lighter and happier than I’ve seen her in a long time, and I’m not just saying that.” 

He looks over at Tobin with a more genuine smile this time, “A lot of that is down to you. You supported her when she needed it the most and you’re still here by her side.” He nudges her shoulder, “And I don’t think that the only reason you’re still around is because she thinks you’re hot or whatever.” 

They both laugh as Tobin rolls her eyes at him. It wasn’t hard for her to see why Christen sees Will as a brother, and she was looking forward to getting to know him better. 

“Let’s go inside, I think the ceremony will start soon.” Will suggests, leading the way. 

If Tobin would say she paid attention to most of the things said during the ceremony, she’d be lying. Sure she paid attention to the vows and when the pastor announced them husband and wife, but her attention was constantly pulled away to Christen standing at the front. 

She should probably be ashamed to admit that, had it not been for Christen and Tobin’s eyes locking more than a handful of times. Christen held her gaze for a moment, smiling softly before turning back to where Channing was standing. 

Tobin couldn’t help but think how beautiful Christen looked when she was up there, even with tears of happiness running down the face. 

Channing had put Tobin and Christen on a separate table with Tyler and Will for the wedding reception, having their parents on a table with Mikel and herself - it was probably best that way. 

“So, Christen…” Will leaned forward on his elbows with a serious expression in his face. 

“Yes?” Christen said cautiously, dragging the word out. 

“We need to talk,” Christen raised her eyebrow, silently asking him to continue. “About Tobin.” 

Christen looks at Tobin next to her who kept a serious expression too. Confused, she turns back to her brother-in-law.

“I had some time to ask her a few questions before the wedding.” He says bluntly.

“You better not have done your stupid “brother-in-law interrogation” that you did with Mikel when you met him!” 

“Oh no, I didn’t.” Will shakes his head, leaning back in his chair. “I just can’t believe you’d date someone like that.” 

Christen turns to Tyler with wide eyes, who’s about to argue with her husband. Will turns to Tobin when they both aren’t looking, winking in her direction and trying to keep a straight face. 

“Excuse me?” Christen fails in showing her surprise at his words. 

“I mean come on, Chris.” Will bites his lip to stop himself from laughing. When he sees the fear in her eyes, he knows the joke has run its course. “Chris, she eats pineapple on pizza. That should be against the law.” 

Tobin and Will both start laughing and high-five as relief fills Christen and she realizes it was only a joke. She crumples up her napkin, throwing it at him with a pout. 

“Was that really necessary?” Tyler asks, smiling lightly too when she sees Christen laugh. 

Will nods, “Sorry, Chris. I couldn’t help myself.” 

“I don’t like you, you’re both mean.” She crosses her arms with a huff, laughing again when she looks over at Tobin. 

Tobin wraps an arm around Christen and pulls her in, “Sorry, but that was really funny.” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Christen says with a smile. 

“I love you.” Tobin whispers as she leaves a soft kiss on Christen’s temple. 

Christen doesn’t move, not saying anything but not pulling away either. 

“I love you,” Tobin tries again, nudging her girlfriend, who stays silent. 

“You have to say it back!” Tobin frowns at her. 

“Nope,” Christen says, making the ‘p’ pop.

Tobin pretends to be unfazed, turning away but looking back at Christen less than a second later. “Please?” 

Christen rolls her eyes with a bright smile, “Fine, if I have to.” She says in an annoyed tone, before switching to a soft one. “I love you.” 

  
  
She leans in to peck Tobin on the lips, “I love you too.” Tobin says with a smile as she pulls away again. 

After their meals were served and everyone finished their desserts, Christen and Tyler both prepared a speech for Channing. Tyler’s was filled with jokes and meaningful words. It took Christen ages to write hers, something Tobin knew firsthand. She’d written a million and one speeches, getting Tobin to read over them just to bin them and rewrite it again despite it being just as great as the previous one. Eventually, she felt she’d expressed what she wanted to say perfectly and just decided to go along with it. Christen’s speech left most of the room in tears, even Tobin after she’d heard it for the third time. 

Stacy hadn’t been expecting Christen to make a speech. Her middle child was never one to show emotions about something personal in front of bigger crowds. That’s just one of the many things that have changed about her, she can’t help but notice. Stacy can see the happiness and lightness in Christen’s facial expressions, a layer of calm that she’d never seen before. 

Christen was always the one to be on time, organized and she always had something to be busy with or to rush around for. Yet, looking at her standing there with a microphone in her hand and speaking to all of the wedding guests, she looked like she’d never had a stressful day in her life. 

It brings up a feeling she hadn’t experienced before. Feelings of regret and sadness. Stacy realized that she misses her daughter a lot and not having her in their lives is painful, but then she remembers the reasons why she isn't and quickly shakes it off, knowing it’s for the best. After all, what would her friends think when they find out she has a bisexual daughter? It makes her cringe just thinking about it. 

Her eyes trail Christen’s path as she makes her way back over to the table with Tyler, Will and a stranger she hasn’t seen before. Stacy leans over to Channing, “Who’s that?” 

“Who’s who, mom?” 

“The person on Tyler’s table. I’ve never seen her before.”   
  


“Oh,” Channing freezes, unsure how to proceed. 

“Is she a friend of yours?” Stacy asks kindly, simply surprised that she didn’t recognize one of her youngest daughter’s friends. 

Channing bites her lip, pondering on it for a short moment before deciding to just get it over with.  _ She’ll probably find out at some point anyway.  _

“Ehm, no. That’s Christen’s girlfriend.” 

“Christen has a girlfriend?” Stacy looks surprised. There was a small part of her always wondering if it was just a phase, but hearing that Christen had a girlfriend makes it more official. Stacy knows that Christen wouldn’t date someone as an ‘experiment’ - her daughter wouldn’t mess with someone’s feelings like that.

“Yeah,” Channing nods, “She’s called Tobin.” 

If Stacy finds herself wanting to ask questions about this girlfriend, she doesn’t mention it to Channing. She doesn’t need to know that Stacy finds herself a little intrigued. 

She can’t help herself though, “Is she nice?” 

“Yeah,” Channing looks at her fully and nods with a smile, before turning in the direction of Christen’s table. “Yeah, she is.” She repeats, thoughtfully. “She’s great for Christen, they’re cute together.”

Stacy’s layer almost uncovers and she has a short moment of softness in her, before she’s all the way back to her hard feelings. 

“It’s not all about looking cute together.” Stacy scoffs. 

“You’re right, it’s not.” Channing shakes her head, trying not to get frustrated. “It’s about being in love and happy, and that they most definitely are.”

Stacy stays silent, so Channing turns back to her  _ husband  _ and has a conversation with his parents instead. 

It’s not long before the guests find themselves on the dance floor, Christen and Tobin preferring to stay to the back and keep the attention away from them so they could have a private moment to themselves. 

"Can I have this dance?" Tobin questions with a teasing raised eyebrow.

"Sorry," Christen shrugs, "I kinda have a girlfriend."  


"Oh. do you now?" Tobin laughs. 

"Yeah, she's pretty good looking." 

Tobin moves closer to Christen, "My girlfriend is pretty good looking too." 

“Thank you for bringing me. I know it wasn’t an easy decision and it could make things worse with your parents, but I’m happy to be here with you.” 

“Things can’t get much worse with them anyway.” Christen shakes her head, wrapping her arms around Tobin’s neck as Tobin’s hands find Christen’s hips. “Besides, you’re worth it. You’re worth everything.”

Tobin leans in, meeting Christen’s lips half way. They get lost in the feeling of each other for a short moment, not pushing any public affection boundaries but not exactly sharing an unaffectionate kiss either. 

“Don’t you think it’s crazy when we look back at it now?” Tobin asks as she pulls away, “Never in a million years did I think that you’d feel the same way as I did. Yet here we are, nearly a year later and I fall more in love with you every day.”

“I never thought I’d find someone like you.” Christen admits, “Someone I could spend all my time with, share my life with and trust. I’d trust you with my life Tobin, and I fall more in love with you every day too. All these years I thought I knew what it was like to be in love, but I didn’t. At least not until I met you.” 

Christen sighs deeply, staring into Tobin’s eyes. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Tobs. When I think about getting married one day, you’re the person I want by my side. I don’t ever want to live another day without you.” 

“You won’t have to.” Tobin pulls Christen in closer, “It’ll be you and me, forever. I want to marry you one day too.” 

When Tobin sees the smile that spreads across Christen’s face with those words, she vows to herself to make Christen smile like that every single day, for the rest of their lives. 

“God, I’m so lucky.” Christen bites her lip with a smile, leaning back in for another kiss. 

“I’m the luckiest!” Tobin points out.

Channing and Tyler walk over to the couple, dragging them towards the middle of the dance floor to let loose and dance with them. 

By the time all of the guests are making their way outside of the wedding reception and towards their cars and cabs, there’s only a few family members remaining. 

“Chrissy!” Christen hears a voice just as Tobin leaves to go to the restroom. 

She turns around to the familiar voice, seeing her grandma. “Gran, hey.”

“Come and sit down,” She pats the empty space next to her. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in a very long time, is everything alright?” 

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that.” Christen says guiltily, knowing she was always the one that called and visited her grandmother the most out of the siblings. 

“How’s work?” 

  
  
“Just the same old but still loving it. I’m glad it’s summer break now, I need some time off.” 

“You need some time to relax.” Granfran agrees, “Can I visit you when we’re all back in California? I clearly don’t get out of the house enough, since I’ve only seen your house twice since you moved in.”   


“Of course you can, Gran. You know you’re always welcome at mine.” She probably shouldn’t have said that since her grandmother really would turn up at any time. “Uh, I actually don’t live alone anymore though. Just so you know…”

Christen bites her lip, waiting for her grandmother to start catching up. 

“Has my granddaughter finally got herself a new boyfriend? Here I was thinking I’d never see the day you get married or the day you have children, but maybe I’ll live to see it after all.”   


“Ehm, no, not a boyfriend actually.” 

Her grandmother turns to her with the best confused look she can master, waiting for a better explanation. 

“I live with my girlfriend.” Christen says nervously. 

“Oh,” Grandfran nods, “So like best friends?” 

Christen internally rolls her eyes, squirming in the awkwardness of the conversation. 

  
  
“No,” Christen shakes her head, making sure she’s clear. “We’re dating.” 

Grandfran lets out a smile, “Well that took you long enough to say.” 

“You knew?” Christen asks.

“It wasn’t that hard to figure out considering you don’t usually bring your friends as a date and then kiss them or hold hands.” 

“But you aren’t mad…” Christen almost questions. 

“Why would I be?” Her grandmother hugs her, “I don’t know what the hell my dear son and daughter-in-law are thinking, but I’m certainly not wasting time fighting with you. The only thing that matters to me is your happiness!” 

“Thank you,” Christen whispers and hugs her grandmother even tighter. 

“You don’t have to thank me, sweetheart.” Granfran pulls back, “I do expect to meet this girlfriend of yours though. I have to make sure I approve.” 

Christen laughs and shakes her head, knowing that Tobin would flatter her grandmother within seconds of meeting her. 

“Gran, our cab is here.” Tyler calls across the room, “Are you coming with us?”

“I’m on my way.” She nods, standing up. 

“Let me know when I can come over and meet her, please.” 

“I will, I promise.” 

As soon as the doors to the room close, Christen buries her face in her hands and lets out a sob. She felt so happy that her grandmother was still willing to talk to her, she couldn’t help but cry in the moment. 

“Hey,” Tobin soothes as she approaches Christen, “What happened?” 

Christen pulls Tobin into a tight hug, “Can we walk back?” 

“Of course we can.” Tobin nods. 

Christen explains the conversation with her grandmother as they walk through the streets, holding hands with one hand and carrying their heels with the other. 

“So she really said she wants to meet me?” Tobin smiles.

“She really did.” Christen says. 

Tobin lets the comfortable silence linger whilst she makes the decision to ask the question that had been on her mind the whole time. “Can I ask you something?”

“You just did.” Christen teases, elbowing Tobin lightly.

“Seriously, can I? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable by asking you this.”

“You don’t have to ask.” Christen states, “You can always ask me anything, no matter what it is.” 

“You said your parents are close with Kelley and her mom too, right?” 

Christen nods, “Yeah. Kelley became family over the years and so did Karen. My mom and Karen were really close friends, they still are now.” 

“How come they never had a problem with Kelley being gay?” Tobin wonders, explaining herself further. “I mean it’s not exactly a secret, plus she has a girlfriend so they must have known.” 

“Believe it or not, my mom is an amazing person. She never gets involved in people’s business as long as they don’t reflect on her.” Christen explains, “Kelley being gay was never up to her. That’s Karen’s choice of how she deals with that, not my mom. When it’s her own child then it’s different. It’s her reputation that’s on line, so she pushes me away to keep it from people.”

Tobin squeezes Christen’s hand, unsure on how to respond. “I’m sorry, that things can’t be different.” 

“It’s not your fault.” Christen tugs on Tobin’s hand so she looks her in the eyes. “As long as I have you by my side, I’ve got everything I’ll ever need.” 

Tobin stops Christen in her tracks to pull her into a deep kiss. 

“We really need to get back to the hotel before I end up having my way with you in the middle of this street.” Tobin says once they pull back. 

“You’re such a horny teenager.” Christen laughs, pulling Tobin towards their hotel. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a whole lot of fluff lol. I'm tired so there's probably a lot of mistakes in this. I'm planning to do those one-shots but haven't had a chance to start yet as work has been kinda crazy so they might not be up for a little while, sorry. 
> 
> Also, come chat on Tumblr if you want @PressPack


	17. Scream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do I do now, without you?  
> I don't know where to go.

“Nope, I’m not getting up!” Tobin whines from the bed, wrapped in the covers. 

“Yes you are!” Christen insists, “I’m hungry and I want some food. I’m not about to turn up for the hotel breakfast by myself. 

Tobin gives Christen a teasing look, “It looks like you are.” 

Christen walks over to Tobin, holding onto her arm and trying to pull her off the bed. “Nuh huh,” Tobin says like a small child, making them both laugh. 

“I still have to shower,” Christen starts, “But I guess I’ll just go and shower in the  _ cold  _ by  _ myself. _ ” She hints towards Tobin. 

Christen doesn’t even finish the last word before she’s dragged into the bathroom by Tobin. 

“I knew that would get you up.” Christen smirks. 

“Do you blame me?” Tobin asks, admiring Christen’s body as Christen turns on the shower. 

In the end, Christen can’t find herself caring that they leave the hotel room ten minutes later than she’d anticipated to. She had set their alarm half an hour earlier anyway, facing the challenge of getting Tobin to wake up early before it even happened. 

They eat breakfast at the large buffet prepared for the guests at the hotel. It’s already busy when they walk in, but it was still early so they didn’t expect many more people to turn up for another hour. 

Christen and Tobin follow the queue of people, stacking food up on their plates before finding a table. Tyler passes the pair on her way back from getting another coffee, greeting them both with a hug and walking over to her parents’ table. Will was still asleep and rarely ate breakfast, so Tyler left him in their hotel room and texted her parent’s to have breakfast with them instead. 

Stacy watches from afar as Tyler greets the couple and stalls to talk to them. 

“Where did Tyler go?” Cody questions from his seat on the table. 

“She went for some more coffee,” Stacy informs him, “She’s stood over there talking to Christen.” 

Cody turns into the direction his wife nods in, seeing Tyler, Christen and another brunette in conversation. “Who’s that?” 

“Christen’s girlfriend apparently.” Stacy shrugs, “I asked Channing the same thing last night.”

“Christen has a girlfriend?” He asks in a surprised tone, earning a nod from Stacy. 

Stacy’s eyes stay fixed on Christen and Tobin after Tyler walks away from them, watching as her daughter leans in to kiss the unfamiliar girl. Stacy surprises herself when she finds herself lost in that longing feeling of wanting to spend time with her daughter again and by the look on her husband’s face, she’d almost think that they had the same opinion. 

Tyler sits back down again, diverting Cody’s attention to continue their earlier conversation. Stacy’s eyes remain with Tobin and Christen though, seeing how brightly Christen is smiling as the pair find a table to sit on, opting for the only empty one in that area of the restaurant. 

“Really, mom?” Tyler’s voice is filled with annoyance as she pulls her mother out of her gaze. 

“What?” Stacy wonders, not having listened to the conversation and being unsure what Tyler was referring to. 

“You can’t at least leave her alone and not glare at them?” 

“I wasn’t.” Stacy lifts her hands up, looking innocent. 

Tyler rolls her eyes with clear annoyance. She’d had enough of her parent’s making Christen’s life a living hell for the past year, and anything she could do to protect her younger sister, she would do. She didn’t want Christen to get hurt again, especially now that she’s found so much happiness with Tobin.

“Look, I get that you and dad have a problem with who Christen is…” She shout whispers, rethinking her sentence before deciding to just speak her mind. “Actually, no. Scrap that, because I don’t get it. I don’t get it at all, but you can at least look away. She’s not bothering you, she’s not talking to you, she’s not even looking at you and you still feel the need to stare at her. Are you hoping to get some sort of reaction out of her or for her to get upset or what are you trying to do?” 

Tyler shakes her head, “I thought you were better than this, both of you. Christen has finally found the happiness that she deserves, so you guys better not ruin that for her.” 

She takes a deep breath, trying not to raise her voice too loud. “Trying to upset her is only going to make you look bad. Christen would be fine, and Tobin would still be by her side no matter what you do. Heck, Tobin would still be there for her if the world was ending. The girl flew in from Florida when she was supposed to be with her family, just to pick up the mess you guys left behind after Christmas. Most guys certainly wouldn’t have done that for her and it shouldn’t even matter who Christen is dating. She’s the one in the relationship, it’s her happiness and if the person that makes her happy is Tobin, then why should she ever feel ashamed of that.” 

She’d had months of these emotions building up, never wanting to go against her parents’ word and raise her voice at them, but all of them came rushing out of her before she could stop it. 

“I need to cool off before I say something that I’ll regret. I’m going to sit with Christen.” Tyler gets up, grabbing her cup and plate, walking over to Christen and Tobin’s table with a guilty look on her face. 

She slides down into the seat, biting her lip, silently praying that Christen wouldn’t be mad at her. 

“Why have you got that look on your face?” Christen asks right away, turning her head to look at her sister who is now sitting next to Tobin. 

“I may have just shouted at mom and dad…” 

“You did what now?” Christen asks at the same time as Tobin’s eyes go wide, “In here?”

“Well it wasn’t exactly shouting. It was more of a whisper shout, but with the tone I used I might as well have been screaming at them.” 

Tyler sinks further into her seat and looks between a shocker Christen and Tobin. “What was it about?” 

She scoffs slightly through a small laugh, “Uhm about how stupid they are and how amazing Tobin is.”

“Me?” Tobin asks with surprise, as her head whips into Christen’s direction.

“Yes, you.” Tyler laughs, “I don’t happen to know any other people called Tobin.” 

“She is pretty amazing, huh?” Christen smiles, tapping Tobin’s foot lightly with her own. 

“Oh, she’s a keeper.” Tyler nods, bumping Tobin’s shoulder. 

Tobin blushes as she looks between them, a smile plastered on her face. 

“Back to whatever that was,” Christen says pointing over to her parent’s table when they aren’t looking, “Why?” She tilts her head. 

“I don’t even know.” Tyler laughs, “They didn’t really do anything apart from look over at you when you were sitting here. I’ve stayed out of it on their end so far, but I just kind of lost it and then got up from their table and left.” 

Tyler stays more serious, exchanging looks with Christen and Tobin before they all burst out in laughter at the same time. 

“So mom and dad know about Tobs now?” Christen wanted to confirm. 

“Yeah, I think mom asked Channing about it yesterday. I don’t think you have to worry after my little outburst though, I made myself pretty clear.” 

Christen simply shrugs, no longer finding herself bothered. If her parents wanted to know that Tobin was her girlfriend then she would have told them that too, and if they didn’t they could simply stay out of her way and not bother about it. 

Either way, she wasn’t going to let them impact her happiness anymore. She had Tobin, her sisters, her grandmother, an amazing group of friends, and Tobin’s family - that’s all that really mattered to her.

Channing came to join them at breakfast, questioning Tyler how she ended up on this table when she had planned to grab breakfast with their parents. 

Tyler recalled the story once again, causing the group to erupt in laughter a second time. 

Tobin and Christen had another two days in Florida, so they were getting a cab back to Cindy and Jeff’s house later today. They said their goodbyes with promises to invite the sisters for dinner once Channing is back in California after her honeymoon. They’re strolling through the lobby, not in a rush to collect their bags and begin checking out, when they hear someone call Christen’s name from behind them. 

They both turn around to see an older woman walk towards them. She leans in to give Christen a hug, which she returns casually, and then opens her arms out and pulls an unexpected Tobin into a short hug too.

“You must be Tobin,” Granfran smiles brightly, sticking her hand out after giving the girl a hug, “I’m Christen’s grandmother.” 

“It’s lovely to meet you, Mrs Press.” Tobin says politely. 

“Nope, none of that.” She shakes her head, “Just call me Granfran like everyone else. Mrs Press makes me feel even older.” 

Tobin laughs at her humour, being able to tell right away that she’s someone that she’ll grow to really like. 

“Did you two just have breakfast?” 

“Yeah, we’re just about to grab our bags and check-out of the hotel.” Christen nods.

“You’re flying home today?” She asks with wide eyes, assuming everyone was staying for another night. 

Christen shakes her head, “Not for another two days. Tobin’s parents live in Florida so we only stayed here last night.” 

Granfran nods, “That’s nice. Well, I’ll let you head out then. Enjoy the rest of your time and promise you’ll call once you’re back in California? I have to learn more about the one and only Tobin.” 

Christen laughs with a blush, “I will, I promise.” 

“I hope I can get to know you properly soon, Tobin. It was a pleasure meeting you.” 

“You too.” Tobin agrees with a smile. 

“I hope you realise we’ll have to invite her over for dinner soon. She’ll be calling me everyday asking when she can meet you properly.” Christen whispers to Tobin as they walk away. 

Tobin laughs at her, “That’s what we’ll do then. She seems great and I can’t wait to learn more about her.” 

Christen shakes her head with a smile when they’re waiting for the elevator. She bites her lip and leans in for a short kiss. “You’re pretty amazing, I hope you know that.” 

\-------

“I’m sorry.” Stacy sighs as she sits down on Tyler and Channing’s table, which was now occupied by Will too. 

Tyler turns around with surprise, not expecting to see her mother here, nevermind hear her apologize. 

“It’s fine. All I mean is you have to make up your mind. Look, if you want to be in her life, be the same person you are to me and Channing. But if you don’t want to be in her life, then stay away from hers and don’t judge her as soon as she as much as breathes.” 

Stacy nods, understanding where her daughter was coming from. “Ok.” She says simply, not wanting to get into another argument. 

“Where did dad go?” Channing wonders.

“He went back to the room. He’s not feeling too well today, I think he had a few too many drinks yesterday.” She chuckles. 

Granfran joins them in that moment, placing her plate down with a simple statement, not caring that her daughter-in-law was also at the table. If she and her son were going to act this way, then they could put up with other people’s opinions too. “I think I made a mistake being straight.” 

Will chokes on his food, trying to contain his laugh. 

“That’s not really something people choose.” Channing laughs.

“I know,” Grandfran says with a sigh, “But still.” 

“Where did this come from?” Will asks once he contains his laughter. 

“I might be old, but I have eyes and Tobin is hot. Not only that, but she’s really sweet and charming too. People like her are hard to find, and I can tell you that from years of experience.” 

“Tobin’s so nice.” Channing agrees, “And good looking.”   
  
Will starts laughing again, “Hey, you just got married yesterday. Watch it.” 

“I’m just pointing out the obvious,” Channing throws her hands up in defense, “Besides, that girl is so in love with Christen that I don’t think she’d ever even notice someone else.” 

“You’re not wrong.” Tyler agrees.

“I want to hear everything you two know about her.” Granfran says, using her finger to point back and forth between Channing and Tyler. 

Tyler laughs and points at Will, “It’s Will that you have to ask. He went from strangers to besties with Tobin at the wedding.” 

Granfran looks at will expectantly, “Okay, uhm well. She was born in New Jersey and is a few months older than Christen. She lived in Portland before she moved to California eighteen months ago. She went to UNC and actually played D1 soccer in her freshman year, so if she would have played for another year then they would have met in college.” He thinks for a short moment before continuing, “She works at Christen’s school and in the same department, so they met when Christen and her boss were holding interviews for the role. Her parents moved to Florida after they retired and don’t live far from here, so that’s where they’ve been staying all week.” 

“She mentioned that one.” Granfran confirms, urging him to continue. 

“Oh and she also has three siblings. She’s got two older sisters and a younger brother. Both her sisters are married with kids. I can’t remember their names but the oldest one has two little boys and the younger one has a little girl. And her brother is a pro soccer player for Seattle and the national team. He just had his 100th cap at that tournament at the start of the year, so they flew out to London with Tobin’s parents and her brother’s girlfriend for that.” 

“Christen actually surprised her with that trip.” Tyler adds with a smile. 

“How much did you interrogate the poor girl to get all of that out of her?” Channing asks with a laugh.

“I actually didn’t interrogate her at all. We just had a long conversation and it came up.” 

“Do you know when they started dating?” Granfran asks, taking in all of the information. She hadn’t failed to notice that Stacy stayed quiet the whole time, looking uncomfortable but listening and not saying anything to make them stop either.  _ We’re making progress.  _

Tyler thinks, “It must be nearly a year now.”

Granfran nods, “So when did they move in together?” 

“They live together?” Stacy suddenly joins the conversation. 

“Yeah,” Granfran simply confirms. 

Stacy turns quiet again after, deep in thought. She slowly finds herself realizing that maybe her daughter’s relationship was more serious than she imagined.

“I’m not sure,” Channing shrugs, “It must be a few months now though.” 

\-------

In their first week back home, they ended up scheduling a dinner with Christen’s grandmother. 

Christen and Tobin were free for the next three weeks now, since they’d decided to book a weekend away instead of a proper vacation during summer break. They’d already been to Florida for the wedding, so they wanted to save some money. 

They spent their sixth day back home preparing for their early dinner and cooking Granfran’s favorite meal. It was her birthday next week and usually the whole family would get together to have a summer barbeque in Granfran’s backyard, but since that was unlikely to be an option this year, Christen still wanted to celebrate her birthday in some capacity. 

Christen heard a knock on the door just before four o’clock, jumping up from her seat on the counter to open the door. Tobin shook her head with a smile, happy that Christen seemed to be in a good mood. 

“Hi Gran,” Christen greeted her, pulling her into a tight hug. 

Her grandmother, seemingly just as excited as Christen, had a bounce in her step as she walked into the house and was quick to demand a house tour after greeting Tobin. It had been a long few months since she’d seen the house, after all. 

Christen showed her around as Tobin finished off dinner and dished it out on their plates. 

“It’s just as gorgeous as I remembered.” She exclaimed as they sat down, “This smells delicious.”

They started eating their meals as Granfran decided she’d had enough small talk and needed to know more about Tobin. 

“So Tobin, Will already told me some things about you but I’d really like to get to know you better.” She smiles politely. 

“Oh, did he now?” Christen challenges, raising her eyebrows. 

“I might have hounded him.” Granfran waves her off. “Back to where I was going to start, I heard you went to UNC?” 

“Yes, I did.” Tobin nods politely. 

Tobin answers all of Granfran’s questions, making sure to include some funny stories of her childhood. When she said that she’d wanted to get to know Tobin better, she truly did. Half an hour into dinner with two and a half glasses of red wine behind them all, she decides she knows Tobin well enough to cross new boundaries. 

“Alright, I’m not doing my job as the nosy grandmother if I don’t ask about your relationship. How did you two meet?” Granfran leans forward, resting her elbows on the table, investing into this conversation even further now. 

Tobin and Christen exchange a look that questioned the other on who was wanting to tell the story and who would add their input alongside it. 

“You go, I want to hear your version.” Christen smiles softly.

“Ok, so…” Tobin begins with a deep breath, not even sure how to explain it herself. “As you know I applied for the job at Mira Costa just before I left Portland, with the hopes of getting an interview here. So when I did, it was Christen and the principal, Kristie, holding the interview. I remember how I thought that Christen was beautiful from the moment I met her and that her eyes were the prettiest ones I’d ever seen in my life. Her smile just lit up the whole room and she just had a sense of comfort and kindness to her despite staying completely professional. I wasn’t even sure if I’d ever see her again after that, but I couldn’t stop thinking about her all night.” 

“I had my first week, the week before the fall semester and Christen was showing me around so I had a chance to get to know her in that time. Something just clicked and we worked really well together, at least I thought we did, and I knew that I wanted to spend more time with her.” 

“We became really good friends in my first few weeks of working there, probably because Christen was the person I worked with the most throughout the day, but we just got along really well and never got into each other’s ways or anything like that. We have this ‘Happy Hour’ every Friday where we all go to the local bar so Christen invited me to come one day and I guess we got even closer after that. We’d spend a lot of time together and we’d come over to the other’s house throughout the week.” 

Christen nods when Tobin stopped to collect her thoughts, continuing on from her side of the story. “Yeah, so then everything kind of got into a bit of a rollercoaster but we worked it all out in the end and that’s what matters, right?”

“What happened?” Granfran asks, now fully invested in the story. 

“Well, I finally admitted my feelings for Tobin to myself and then it all sort of fell in place, and I knew right away that I’d have to tell mom and dad about this before I could even think about telling Tobin how I felt. So I told them which obviously didn’t go as I’d hoped, but there’s nothing I can do about it now and I’m so incredibly grateful for the amazing family I have in my lives right now.” 

She smiles, tearing up at thinking about her sisters, her grandmother, and Tobin. Tobin’s family had been so welcoming and treated her in the best way she could have ever hoped for. She truly is happy. 

“I cried a lot that night and I didn’t want to be alone so I ended up at Tobin’s house, sobbing into her arms and she was there for me before she even knew what happened. It was really hard and I truly believe that I couldn’t have done it without Tobin.” 

“We had a whole dilemma after that,” Christen chuckles. “Long story short, we both ended up admitting our feelings for each other and have been together ever since.” 

Granfran looked between the two, instantly seeing through to how free they felt together. 

“That’s lovely.” She smiles politely, “I think I owe Tobin a lot for taking such good care of you and always supporting you when we weren’t there for you.” 

“You don’t owe me anything.” Tobin shakes her head, “I’ll always be here to look after Christen, just like she’s constantly looking out for me. I love Chris, more than I’ve ever loved anyone and I love her more every single day. My life changed in the best possible way when I met Christen and I want to stay by her side for a really long time, so I’m going to be here for as long as she wants me to be. I’d do anything to make her happy, so I promise, you don’t owe me anything.” 

Granfran wipes the tears from her eyes, “Sorry, the allergies are playing up again.” 

Christen leans over to kiss Tobin, still questioning what she’s ever done to deserve this amazing girl. 

“That was really beautiful.” Granfran admits. She reaches her hand out, placing it on top of Tobin’s and squeezing it tightly. “I’m so glad you have each other. You’re both really special and deserve to be with someone truly special. It takes people years to find the person that they’re truly  _ meant  _ to be with and sometimes they still never find them. I can’t speak for someone else's feelings, but just looking at you two, I’m pretty sure you’ve both found that person in each other.” 

They turn their heads to the other, giving bright and teary eyed smiles. 

“I love you,” Christen whispers with a smile. Tobin easily returns those words, stealing a quick peck from her girlfriend, not wanting to make the situation uncomfortable. 

Granfran leans back in her chair with a soft smile, feeling emotional at seeing the love they shared. 

\------

The next few weeks fly by and before they know it, it’s the end of summer break and they’re back at work. Their weekend away was everything they could have hoped for, spending those three days wrapped up in each other with not a care in the world. 

They’d been back home for four weeks now and Tobin was planning to meet up with Ashlyn to go surfing today. Christen and Ali had both been invited, but chose to go shopping together instead. Kelley had meetings for the next week, so she was still out of state. 

“We haven’t been surfing in way too long.” Ashlyn comments as they sit down on Redondo Beach.

Tobin places the surfboard next to her, lying down on the towel to dry off in the sun. “I know, we’ll have to go on Sunday morning’s again once Kel is back in town.”

Ashlyn hums, agreeing with Tobin. 

“Who do we think will have more shopping bags when we get home?” 

“Chris,” Tobin states right away, “I love that girl, but she can shop like no one I’ve ever met.” 

Ashlyn laughs with her, “She sure can.”

“I can’t even get annoyed about it though, that’s the problem. I’ll try but I just can’t.” 

“Whipped,” Ashlyn coughs the word out, looking at Tobin with a smile. 

“Yeah, yeah...whatever.” Tobin rolls her eyes.

\-------

“I had a really great time today, Chris. We definitely need more trips in the future.” Ali hugs Christen across the centre control of her car. 

She reaches for the door handle, climbing out the car and waving as Christen leaves Ali’s driveway again with a big smile on her face. 

Christen was on an even bigger high than usually, smiling brightly at anything and anyone driving past her. As much as she enjoyed her day with Ali, she couldn’t wait to get home to her girlfriend now. 

She’s driving through the roads back towards Manhattan Beach, humming along to her favorite song when a black Porsche drives past her at a speed way too high above the speed limit. He’s clearly unable to control his driving, swerving slightly as Christen has to move further towards the other lane to avoid a collision. 

“Idiot,” She murmurs to herself once he’s out of her sight. 

Reaching the next junction, she goes into the right lane, turning her indicator on. As she starts up again and turns, she spots the black Porsche along with another car in the middle of the road. Before she’s even processed the crash that she’s looking at and can try to divert her car, another car hits her from behind, clearly not having kept a great enough distance to be able to break in time. 

The last thing she remembers is the agonizing pain in her leg.

\-------

When Tobin arrives at home, she thinks nothing of Christen having not returned yet. 

_ She’s probably still out with Ali.  _

Tobin drops her bag at the entrance, thinking she’ll quickly shower and then clean all her stuff before Christen ends up being mad at her for bringing sand into the house. 

She showers quickly after checking the time and realizing that it was starting to get late.

When Christen still hadn’t returned home by the time she’s finished, she grabs her phone to text the younger girl. 

**Tobs :** Hey babe, I just got home. I’ll start making some dinner now, do you want any or have you already eaten?

She moves to sit on the sofa, scrolling through social media for a short while. She figures she can wait a few minutes for Christen to reply. When she still hadn’t even read the text after Tobin’s stomach rumbled for the fourth time, she sent Christen a second text.

**Tobs :** I’ll just make some extras and we can save it for tomorrow if you’ve already had something. 

**Tobs :** Come home to me soon. I’ve spent the whole day without you, I need some girlfriend cuddles now ;)

Tobin laughs at herself as she sends off her third text, thinking back to Ash’s words from earlier.  _ I really am whipped.  _

She shakes her head, thinking she might just be alright with that as long as she gets to have Christen by her side. 

Walking into the kitchen, she makes herself spaghetti bolognese, leaving some out for Christen. When it was clear that Christen wasn’t going to be home for dinner, Tobin puts the leftovers in the fridge for the following day. 

She starts to get antsy by the time it reaches 6:00pm and she still hasn't had a reply from her girlfriend. Tobin reaches for her phone, calling Christen but getting no response.

_ She always picks up her phone. Maybe it just died? _

She can’t help but feel that something was off, so she decides to call Ali instead.  _ Am I acting like a crazy girlfriend right now?  _

Tobin’s about to hang up and just wait for Christen to return, when Ali picks up before she has a chance to. 

“Tobin! Hey, I was actually just about to call Christen. I accidentally took one of her bags.” Ali’s cheery voice called through her phone.

“You’re not with Christen anymore?” Tobin’s eyebrows furrow. 

“Uhm, no. Is everything alright?” 

“When did you leave the mall?” Tobin asks, feeling the panic build up inside her.

“Chris dropped me off at home a while ago, why?”

Tobin sighs in frustration, “How long is a while?" 

“It must have been two or three hours ago now.” Ali states, “Tobin, what’s going on?”

“She’s not answering any of my calls and hasn’t come home either.” Tobin says in a shaky voice, “I thought she was still with you.” 

“No,” Ali says quietly, “She said that she was going home when she dropped me off. You guys only live -” 

Ali’s eyes grow wide as she realizes that her next words wouldn’t help calm Tobin. 

She takes a deep breath, trying again. “Right, don’t panic yet. Her phone might have died or she might have gone grocery shopping on her way home or something like that.”

“Ali,” Tobin says sternly, “We went shopping yesterday and you guys live ten minutes away. If her phone would have died, she should have still been back hours ago.” 

Ali sighs, unsure what to say. 

“I’m going to try calling her again.” Tobin says quietly.

“Let me know if she answers or if you need me to come over, ok?” Ali says calmly, feeling useless. 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods, “Okay.”

She takes a moment to calm her breathing before picking her phone up again.  _ There’s no need to panic yet.  _

\-------

“Her phone keeps lighting up with messages,” The taller paramedic, John, says.

The younger one shrugs, not taking his eyes off the heart rate monitor connected to the unconscious woman. “Keep an eye on her BP,” He says, reaching his hand out for her phone. 

“It just says three messages and a missed call, nothing we can do with that. There’s no number displayed and her phone has a password.” He states. 

He holds to turn her phone off, waiting for the list of emergency contacts to come up. 

“I need you to call her emergency contacts, John. Tell them a brief description of what happened and which hospital we’re taking her to. They’ll find out more once they get there.” 

\-------

Stacy’s phone starts ringing from the kitchen counter. She picks the phone up, answering it before looking at the caller ID. 

“Hello?” Stacy answers, all of the sudden remembering that she forgot to check who called. 

“Is this Stacy Press?” 

“Yes, this is she.” Stacy nods, giving her husband a confused look. 

“This is paramedic John Robins. Your daughter, Christen Press, has been involved in a car accident and you’re listed as one of her emergency contacts. We’re -”

Stacy cuts him off, “Which hospital are you taking her to?” 

He informs her of the hospital, telling her that she’ll be informed about her condition once she gets there. 

“We have to go!” Stacy ushers her husband, picking up her bag and car keys before finding the closest pair of shoes. 

Just because Stacy doesn’t agree with her daughter’s sexuality and relationship, doesn’t mean she wants to see her daughter die. She doesn’t love Christen any less, she just can’t see what Christen would want out of a relationship with a woman if she could be with a guy instead. 

Less than an hour later, they arrive at the hospital.

They’re both sitting in the waiting room well into the night, waiting patiently for an update of her daughter’s surgeon. 

“Quite the girlfriend that is,” Cody mutters, “Can’t even show up when she’s been in a car crash.” 

Stacy stays silent, picking at her nails. 

“Are you here for Christen Press?” A young woman asks.

Stacy and Cody nod as she sticks her hand out.

“I’m Doctor Smith, Christen’s surgeon.” She smiles, “I’m happy to inform you that her surgery was successful. Her leg was crushed during the accident, but we managed to repair the bone. It’s going to take a while until she can fully walk on it again without any support, but she got lucky. It could have easily led to an amputation or paralysis. She still has a minor concussion that we need to monitor, but if everything goes to plan then she’ll make a full recovery.” 

“She’s in room 1723 if you want to sit next to her. She was found unconscious at the scene and might still be for a while from the anaesthesia, but she should wake up in the next few hours.” She turns away again, getting ready to leave.

“Actually, one more thing.” Stacy and Cody stall, looking at her expectantly. “Sorry, the paramedics mentioned that someone was trying to get a hold of your daughter. Is there anyone else that needs to be notified?” 

“What do you mean?” Stacy asks. 

“Is she currently married or in a relationship?” The doctor asks, knowing from experience that people don’t usually call over and over again unless there’s a close relationship behind it. 

“No, she’s not.” Cody says sternly, so the doctors drops the topic and walks away. 

“Cody Press.” Stacy hisses at him once they’re out of her earshot. 

He just shrugs, “What?” 

Stacy stays silent, taking a deep breath.  _ What if Tobin’s worried about her? Fran said they live together. She must be so worried that Christen hasn’t come home.  _

\-------

Tobin’s pacing her living room, trying to call Christen for what feels like the twentieth time now. She opens their string of text messages up, reading through the long thread of them she’d sent in the past hour - switching between calling her and texting her.

**Tobs :** Chris, please tell me where you are. I’m starting to get really worried now.

**Tobs :** I love you. 

**Tobs :** Where are you?

**Tobs :** Please come home to me.

**Tobs :** Please call me back. 

**Tobs :** Babe, just text me back so I know that you’re ok. Please.

She presses call, trying once again. 

“Hello?” An unfamiliar voice calls through the phone.

“Who is this?” Tobin says with confusion. 

“This is Nurse Robinson, can I ask who you’re trying to get a hold of?” 

“Um, Christen. Christen Press." 

The nurse nods with the confirmation, “Miss Press has been involved in an accident, may I ask what your relation is to her?”

Tobin’s breath catches in her throat, “I’m her girlfriend. What happened? Is she ok?”

“Ma’am we’ve been informed by her family members that Miss Press currently isn’t in a relationship.” The nurse begins, “I’m currently only allowed to give confidential information out to family members.” 

“What hospital is she at?” Tobin asks with teary eyes.

“I’m sorry ma’am. I’m not allowed to give out any further information to non-family members.” 

Tobin sighs in frustration, “This is my girlfriend we’re talking about. Now please just tell me where she is so I can come and see her.” 

“Miss Heath, her family members are in attendance and have informed us of her relationship status. We’ll have to wait for Miss Press to be in a state where she’s conscious enough to make her own decisions before we’ll be able to give you any further information. I’m sorry, thank you for your time.” 

“What do you mean conscious enough? Is she not-”  _ Fuck.  _ Tobin can’t finish her sentence before the nurse hangs up. 

Tobin picks the phone back up angrily, calling again. “Miss Heath, you can continue calling but my role is to protect my patients. I won’t be allowed to give any more details to you.”

“Ma’am, I appreciate that but this is my girlfriend. The one I’m supposed to be taking care of, but you won’t let me see right now. Please, just tell me where she is.” Tobin says as her voice breaks. 

“I have other patients to get to. If you want any more information, you must reach out to one of her family members.” 

She buries her face in her hands, allowing herself to break for a moment.

_ Who do I contact? Kelley isn’t even in town, I don’t have Fran’s number, or Channing’s or Tyler’s for that matter.  _

She pulls her text messages up again, figuring she might as well send one more text to the many other’s she sent earlier. 

**Tobs :** I’m going to find out where you are and visit as soon as I can, I promise. 

Tobin knows that Christen won’t read the messages right now, but it gives her a small peace of mind to send them. 

**Tobs :** You’re the love of my life, babe. I know you already know that, but I would tell you that over and over again. God, I love you so much. Please stay strong for me. I need you. It’s you and me forever, remember? 

_ Fuck, what are you going to do Tobin.  _

She reads the time, 02:30am. Tobin lets her head drop into her hands. It’s way past visiting hours now, meaning she wouldn’t get to see Christen until morning either way. She needs to find  _ someone  _ to contact about Christen’s whereabouts, but she knows her brain is way too tired from all of the emotions to function right now.

Not knowing what to do, she does the thing she’s done since her teenage days. It’s only 4:30am in Florida right now, but she has some hope that her mother might just pick up.

The call almost goes through to voicemail until a tired voice can be heard on the other side of the phone.

“Tobs?” Cindy asks, trying to keep herself awake. 

“Mom,” Tobin breathes out with relief. 

“It’s so early, Tobin.” She rubs her eyes, trying to become more aware of her whereabouts, “What’s the matter?” 

“Chris-” Tobin says as her voice breaks, “Chris was in a car accident.”

“She was what?” Her mom yells in shock, sitting up quickly and waking Jeff next to her. She puts the call on speaker, suddenly wide awake. “How is she? Where is she?”

“She’s in hospital.” Tobin continues, not revealing enough for her mother’s liking.

“Are you with her now?” Cindy asks.

Tobin shakes her head, even though it can’t be seen through the phone. “They won’t let me see her.”

“Who won’t let you see her?”

“Her parents, the doctors, nurses...I don’t know. Everyone.” Tobin almost yells out of frustration, her fragile voice giving her away.

“What do you mean they won’t let you see her?” Cindy asks, trying not to grow frustrated with how little her daughter is letting out. “Tell me what happened, all of it.”

“Chris and Ali went shopping today and I thought they just stayed out later than usual as Chris still wasn’t home by the time I got back, so I thought nothing of it. I texted her before making dinner, but she never got back to me. I called Ali later because it had been over an hour and she still wasn’t responding. They only live ten minutes away from ours and Ali said that she left their house hours ago.” 

Tobin swallows the lump in her throat, continuing her explanation. “I called and texted her again a few times and a nurse picked up. She said that Christen was involved in a car accident but couldn’t give out any more information - not even which hospital she’s at.”

“Okay, did you tell them who you are to her?” Cindy says in a calmer voice, hearing how fragile Tobin already was.

“Yeah,” Tobin sniffs quietly. “Apparently her family said that she wasn’t in a relationship so they couldn’t give out any further information. They probably thought I was lying.”

“Was this her parents?”

“I’m guessing so. They know we’re together, but Tyler and Channing would have called me before they’d even finished the call with the paramedics so it must be them.” 

Cindy sighs, “Can they not just ask Christen?”

Tobin closes her eyes, trying to ground herself. “The nurse said she was unconscious.” 

She takes a deep breath, a tear making its way down her cheek. “Mom, I’m so scared. I don’t know what to do.” 

“Just breathe Tobs,” Cindy soothes. “Christen’s at the hospital, so first of all you know that she’s safe and in good hands.” 

“Yeah.” Tobin whispers. 

“Keep your phone on incase they try to call you and sleep for a few hours. If you’d find her right now, they wouldn’t let you in to see her at this time anyway.” Cindy continues, “Rest until the morning, you sound exhausted. Go to sleep and set yourself an alarm so you can call whoever you need to tomorrow to find out when you can see her.” 

Tobin agrees, talking to her mother for another short moment and then hanging up again with the promise of keeping her updated the next day.

_ I need to get some sleep, even if it’s just a few hours. Christen is safe and that’s all that matters. I’ll rest now and make sure that I see her first thing tomorrow.  _

Tobin lies in bed, staring at the ceiling. She turns and twists, unable to find a comfortable position. Tobin looks to the side, only finding an empty space where her girlfriend would usually be. 

She sighs, reaching out for her phone again. 

_ 03:50am.  _

Tobin accepts the fact that she won’t be getting any sleep tonight. She moves over to the other side of the bed, burying her head in Christen’s pillow - hoping the familiar smell will offer her some comfort. 

**Tobs :** I miss you, a whole lot. I can’t sleep without knowing you’re okay. I’m sorry that I can’t be there right now. 

She opens up her camera roll, choosing to look at happier memories instead. Tobin scrolls through the pictures of her and Christen, watching the many videos she’s taken of the younger girl. 

Tobin smiles with tears running down her face at Christen’s green eyes, her bright smile and her contagious laugh. 

_ I miss you. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr : PressPack


	18. Right Here, Right Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where you are, is where I should be too.  
> Right here, right now.  
> I'm looking at you and my heart loves the view,  
> Cause you mean everything.

The first thing Christen feels when she wakes up is the pain in her leg. She feels light-headed, turning her head slightly to see her parents sitting on the chairs next to the bed.

In her partially conscious state, she doesn’t register that it should be a surprise to see them both here. She doesn’t think anything of it, doesn’t remember at that moment. 

She turns her head the other way, seeing nothing but an empty chair on the other side of the bed. 

“Where’s Tobin?” She rasps out quietly, instantly feeling the pain of talking.

Stacy sits up when she sees that her daughter is awake, “What’s that sweetheart?” 

“Where’s Tobin?” She tries to mutter a little louder this time, her voice still coming out as nothing more than a whisper. 

Stacy feels that sudden rush of guilt fill her once again. 

There her daughter was - lying in a hospital bed, bruises in her face, a wound on her forehead that was clearly going to leave a scar, her leg wrapped up and her body attached to monitors through wires - yet her first thought wasn’t about what happened or where she was, but where her girlfriend was.

The girlfriend that her husband had told the doctors doesn’t exist. 

The girlfriend that had tried calling multiple times.

The girlfriend that was probably worried out of her mind by now. 

“The nurses called her,” Cody starts, “She’s busy darling, I’m sorry.” 

Stacy’s eyes grow wide and she looks at her husband in disbelief. 

Christen shakes her head lightly, but winces from the pain. 

“No,” She croaks out, “Tobin would never leave me like that. She loves me. She promised me she’d never leave me.” 

Before Stacy is able to think of a way to soothe her daughter, she drifts back into unconsciousness. 

Stacy leans back in her chair, tears welling up in her eyes as she bites her lips. 

She gets her thoughts together, about to turn to her husband when the door opens. 

“What happened?” Tyler says with wide eyes as she walks up to Christen’s side, “I got a call from the paramedics but I was on night shift so I didn’t see it until now.”

It was still dark outside and only shortly after six am. Tyler would usually go home and sleep for the rest of the day, but rushed to the hospital as soon as she heard the voicemail that was left for her.

“Car accident,” Stacy mutters. 

Tyler freezes, coming to her senses. “Wait, what are you guys doing here?” 

“The paramedics called us.” Stacy says. 

“Where’s Tobin?” Tyler says, looking around and noticing that there were no traces of anyone else previously being in the room. It’s been hours since the paramedics had called her, so she’d assumed that Tobin would have long been here by now. 

“The nurses called her but she wasn’t picking up,” Cody hums, avoiding eye contact. 

Stacy groans internally, feeling more guilty by the moment. 

“Well have they tried calling her again?” Tyler urges.

\-------

Before Tobin knows it, the sun is coming up again and shining through her window. 

Tobin’s still lying frozen in bed, staring at the ceiling. She hasn't moved an inch in hours, still not being able to find any sleep.

All of the sudden, the girl sits up, rushing out of the bedroom.

_ Christen’s laptop. _

“It has to be here somewhere!” She mutters, looking around in their living room. 

When she finally finds it, she opens up Christen’s laptop, hurriedly typing in the password that's long been memorized by her, and opening the ‘contacts’ app. 

She looks for Tyler’s contact, typing the number into her phone and calling it. 

When she doesn’t get an answer the first time, she tries again. 

\-------

“Someone’s trying to call me. I’ll be right back.” She tells her parent’s, leaving the room when she sees an unknown number trying to call her for the third time in a row.

She picks up the phone, not having a chance to question who it is before a voice rings through the speaker. 

“Tyler!” 

“Tobin?” Tyler says confused. 

“Tyler, Christen’s been in an accident and I don’t know where she is or how she is.” Tobin rushes out, her voice cracking as the tears well up again. 

“Slow down, Tobin.” Tyler calms her, “I’m at the hospital, are you on your way?” 

“I don’t know where she is, Ty.” Tobin insists. 

“What do you mean?” Her eyebrows furrow.

“I called Chris about a million times yesterday when she didn’t come home. Eventually this nurse picked up and she said she wasn’t allowed to tell me anything because I wasn’t family. I told her who I am and asked her which hospital Christen is at, but she insisted that you guys told her that Christen wasn’t in a relationship so they must have thought I was lying and said they couldn’t give out any information for patient confidentiality.” Tobin takes a deep breath, “I didn’t have your number so I couldn’t call you, but I just realized that Chris’ laptop was still at home so I found your number on there. I’m so worried, Tyler.” 

“Son of a bitch,” Tyler mutters under her breath, realizing what must have happened. She tells Tobin the name of the hospital and Christen’s room number, asking her to meet her at the hospital. 

Tyler takes a breath to calm herself, knowing if she walks in that hospital room now, she’ll no doubt wake Christen up. 

“So, I just got an interesting phone call.” Tyler says with a stern voice once she’s back in the room, crossing her arms.

“You know, it blows my mind to think why Tobin would be crying on the phone to me and worried sick if she knew where Christen was.” Tyler whisper shouts, making sure not to raise her voice loud enough to wake Christen. “Don’t you think it’s weird that someone would be extremely worried if their girlfriend fails to come home, fails to pick up the phone and fails to answer texts?”

“Don’t you think it would be even more worrying when a nurse picks up the phone, telling her that she was in an accident and is unconscious? How do you think it made her feel when she found this out, yet she had no way of seeing Christen?” Tyler asks. “Did you even ask the nurses to call Tobin like you said you did?” 

“Imagine what they would think when I ask them to call my daughter’s girlfriend!” Cody scoffs. 

“Those nurses would care about the fact that they just called their patient’s girlfriend - someone who’s just been in a car crash, through surgery and unconscious - and told that person that they weren’t allowed to give out any information about her whereabouts or condition because the family claimed that she was single, clearly making them believe that whoever was on the phone was lying.” Tyler says, raising her voice slightly. “Those nurses would care that Christen’s phone probably has about eighty missed calls and text messages of Tobin wondering where Christen is, yet they answered none of them because they had no clue who that was. They would care that the person who loves Christen was at  _ their  _ home and terrified, because she didn’t come back from the mall last night.” 

Cody opens his mouth to defend himself, but Tyler is quick to cut him off again. “You already kicked her out of your lives, so what more do you want from her. What do you get from ruining her life too?” 

She puts her fingers at the bridge of her nose, trying to calm herself down again. 

“You know what, just get out.” 

“Excuse me?” Cody says, his voice stern. 

“No, I’m serious. Get out. I’m done, I’m done with both of you. You can stay out of Christen’s life and you can sure as hell stay out of mine too.” Tyler says with a disgusted look on her face, “I’ve had enough. You break Christen into about a million pieces, from which she picks herself up from, just to come in and ruin her life once again. Just let her be happy for once in her life, please.” 

“Tyler-” Cody starts. 

“How would you feel if one of you got into a car accident and you had no clue where the other person was, how they are or who to contact. How would  _ you  _ feel if you didn’t know whether the love of your life is dead or alive?” Tyler questions, “ _ That  _ is exactly how Tobin feels.” 

She stays silent for a moment, letting them think about it. “Just go, Tobin’s on her way and I’ll look after Christen until then.” 

Cody simply scoffs, walking out of the room without looking back. 

Stacy looks up at Tyler with teary eyes, flicking them back down to Christen. She squeezes Christen’s hand lightly as she walks past, thinking it’s best to leave the room too. Afterall, she didn’t do anything to stop Cody or inform them about Tobin. 

Christen opens her eyes, finding Tyler sitting at the edge of her bed. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Tyler smiles softly, reaching for Christen’s hand. 

“Tobin didn’t leave me?” Christen swallows, her throat still feeling dry. Tyler reaches over to the cup on the side, giving her a sip of water. 

“No, Chris. She’d never do that.” Tyler reassures her. 

Christen nods, “I know, but Dad…” She stops, only just realizing where she was about to go with this. She quickly shakes the sentence of, registering what had happened. “Why were they even here?”

Tyler explains what happened to Christen, telling her why Tobin wasn’t here and that she was on her way. When Tyler gets a text from Tobin, saying that she just arrived at the hospital, she offers to get some coffee and give them a moment once Tobin arrives. 

The door opens less than five minutes later, an unrecognisable Tobin walking through the door. Her eyes are puffy and red, she looks like she hasn’t slept in too long and she’s wrapped up in a jumper as if it would offer her more comfort. 

Her face shows relief as soon as she sees that Christen is awake. 

Tobin walks over to her bed right away, sitting down on the chair next to it and grabbing Christen’s hand. 

Looking at Tobin, Christen can tell right away that she’s at a breaking point. She shuffles over as much as she can in her bed, patting the space next to her. “Come here.” 

Tobin lies herself down on her side, careful not to hurt Christen. She wraps an arm around Christen’s waist once she knows that she has no injuries there, and starts sobbing. 

Christen wraps her arm around Tobin, pulling her into her side and letting her head rest in Christen’s neck. “It’s okay. I’m okay, baby.” 

Tobin just keeps sobbing, and Christen lets her, making sure to comfort her the best she can. She knows the past twelve hours can’t have been easy on her and she needs Tobin to know that she’s alright. 

It takes a long while before Tobin catches her breath again, finally able to stop crying. Christen passes her one of the tissues lying next to her bed. 

“I’m sorry,” Tobin sniffles as she tucks herself further into Christen. 

Christen runs a hand through Tobin’s hair, “What are you sorry for?” 

“For crying when it’s you that’s hurt, for not being here sooner, for…” 

“Hey, none of that. It’s okay.” Christen soothes, “You had no way of knowing where I am because of my stupid parents. You came as soon as you could, and that means the world to me.” 

“I was so worried.” Tobin starts, another small sob leaving her lips. “I couldn’t sleep without you. I missed you so much and I just needed to know you’re fine.” 

“I’ll be just fine.” Christen confirms.

“Chris, you’re the love of my life. I can’t lose you.” Tobin whispers.

“You won’t lose me. I’m right here.” Christen lifts Tobin’s head for a kiss, “I love you.” 

“Go to sleep, baby. Get some rest and we can talk more later.” Christen says, clearly seeing that Tobin’s emotions are building up even more from her lack of sleep. 

Half an hour later, Tyler walks back in the room, seeing Tobin clinging onto Christen - both of them asleep. She sighs with a soft smile, sitting down on the chair next to the bed and waiting for both of them to wake up. 

They’re awake by the time the doctor walks in an hour later. Tyler had told Tobin what had happened to Christen and that she had surgery. “We have to run some more tests tomorrow, but you’re awake and alert which is good. Looking back at the scans we took yesterday, we noticed that your concussion is lighter than we expected and shouldn’t impact you. We’ll still be keeping it monitored whilst we have you in here, but it shouldn’t be anything to worry about.” 

Christen nods along to what the doctor says. “You got very lucky. Your car seemed to have collided at an angle, causing your leg injury, but if it would have hit straight on we could have easily been looking at an amputation or lower body paralysis.” She gives Christen a closed-mouth smile, “Don’t be concerned if any of the recovery takes longer than you’d like, it’s common with this type of impact on the body but I’m positive that you’ll make a full recovery.”

“What about the unconsciousness?” Tyler questions the doctor.

She shakes her head, “That was just from the impact and shock of the crash - that's nothing to worry about. Call for one of the nurses if you need anything, but if you don’t then I’ll be back at midday to check up on you.”

“Well, this isn’t how I expected to spend my Sunday.” Christen chuckles, glad that everything seems to have gone well.

She reaches out, intertwining her hands with both of them. “Thank you for being here, both of you.” She smiles at them softly, “And Channing, for whenever she gets here.” 

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” Tyler rubs Christen’s shoulder gently. 

“Me too,” Tobin states, standing up to kiss Christen on the forehead. 

Tyler looks over at Tobin, “I’m so so sorry, Tobin. I was on night shift and honestly had no idea they would do that. You would have been the first one here if I knew that they didn’t call you.” 

“It’s okay,” Tobin nods, “As long as Christen’s still here with me, I’m fine.” 

“Speaking of that,” Christen said, looking over to locate her phone. “Someone please pass me my phone so I can change my emergency contacts.” 

\-------

Kristie hurriedly walks into the sports department, looking around to locate Julie and Alex. She’d just received a call from Christen’s sisters, recalling the events of the past weekend and requesting to sort something out for both Christen and Tobin. 

She finds them both in the sports hall, a large group of students gathered around clearly waiting for the remainder of their group. 

Alex spots Kristie, raising her hand to wave at her and get her attention. 

“Mewis,” Alex yells across the hall, “You’re not the Kris I was looking for, but any clue where Heath and Press are?”

Kristie nods, “Yes, I just came to talk to you both about that.” She says as she approaches them. “I just got off the phone with Christen’s sister and Chris was in a car accident Saturday night.” 

She sees eyes from the students go wide in the back, realizing she said it louder than she intended to. 

“Is she ok?” Julie and Alex both ask hurriedly. 

“Not really, but she will be.” Kristie explains, internally debating to herself what to mention to the students. When she sees that the majority of the soccer girls are currently there too, she decides to make a decision now so the message could be passed on. 

She gets everyone’s attention, seeing a confused Julie and Alex behind her. 

“We’re going to be short on PE staff for a while. I’ll get whoever I can to come and help out, but I need you all to do your best to work responsibly and independently for the next few weeks. Soccer girls, your practices will be cancelled this week so I can find someone to replace Miss Heath and you can continue your season. I’ll send out a letter, but please notify the rest of the team.” 

“Where’s Tobin?” Ellie asks, confused as to why she wouldn’t be the one coaching them.

“Miss Heath and Miss Press won’t be here until further notice. We’re not expecting Miss Press back until at least after Christmas. Saying that, I’m hoping Miss Heath will make it back within the next month, but that might change.” Kristie finishes with a sad smile.

“Was Tobin in the car too?” Julie asks with furrowed eyebrows, not caring that everyone was currently listening. Her main priority was on making sure both her friends were alive and healthy. 

“Luckily not,” Kristie says, shaking her head. “Christen’s parents pulled enough of a number on her though.” 

“Her parents? So what, they’re actually speaking to her now?” Alex scoffs. 

“Tyler didn’t explain in much detail, but I can tell you that they probably just ruined their relationship with their other two daughters too.” 

Julie looks between them both with wide eyes, “So Tobin isn’t injured?” 

“No, but Christen got very lucky from what Tyler mentioned. She had an emergency surgery and was already unconscious at the scene. I think Tobin will want to stay with her, at least until she can start walking again.” 

Alex and Julie nod.

“Apparently they’re both in a bad state and Tobin doesn’t exactly look her best, so trying to bring her back to work would have been useless anyway. I think she needs Christen just as much as Christen needs her right now.” Kristie whispers to both of them, leaning in closer to avoid being overheard.

“I’m meeting Rach at the hospital after work to visit Christen. I thought you guys might want to join?” Kristie asks with a slightly happier smile. The other two women agree right away. 

She thanks them, walking away again when Alex calls after her. 

“You should call Kelley. She’s out of town at those meetings all week and will want to know.” Alex calls out, “Or at least text her to call Tyler or Channing, she’s close with the whole family.” 

Kristie nods, “Yeah, I’ll make sure she does.” 

They go throughout their day as normal, trying not to worry too much about their friend - now that they know she’ll recover. At the end of their shift, they all drive towards the hospital in Kristie’s car, letting Zach and Servando drive home and meeting Rachel at the front. 

Knocking on the door once they get up to the correct floor, they enter slowly. Tyler and Channing are sitting at the side of the bed and talking to Christen, whilst Tobin is sitting next to her on the bed, letting Christen lean into her and content to just listen to the conversation. 

“Are you up for some visitors?” Rachel smiles, knowing that Tyler hadn’t told Christen that they would all be coming today. 

She turns her head to the door, her face instantly lighting up with a smile. 

“Guys,” She says softly, “You didn’t have to come.” 

Alex shakes her head, “You’re joking right? There’s no way we wouldn’t come to visit you.” 

Julie nods, walking over to give Christen a hug. Tobin moves off the bed, sitting down on the chair next to the two sisters - giving everyone else a chance to greet Christen.

“What the hell happened?” Julie asks Christen, once she’s found another chair to pull out and sit down on. 

“Just some guys speeding. He’d crashed into someone, which I couldn’t see until I’d turned the corner, and the woman in the car behind me didn’t break so I ended up in the middle of the two cars.” She explains, “I tried breaking and moving into the other lane but she mustn’t have kept enough distance between mine and her car.” 

“What was your surgery for?” Rachel wonders. 

“My leg,” Christen says, pointing down at it. “It got crushed in the accident, so they had to repair it. It could have been a lot worse though.” 

Alex remembers what she mentioned to Kristie earlier, “Have you spoken to Kelley yet?” 

Christen nods, “Yeah, we called her earlier.” 

Channing and Tyler get up from their chairs when they notice the time, giving Christen and Tobin a hug before saying they’ll visit again the following day. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come in today Kristie, I can work extra tomorrow or whatever you-” Tobin starts, remembering she still has a job to do. 

Kristie just looks at her, recalling what Tyler told her earlier. She can see how exhausted and worried Tobin looks, her facial expressions covered in concern with a pale face. She knows Tobin well enough to understand how good her heart is and how much she loves Christen. With that, she also knows that if she sends Tobin to work now, she’ll spend the whole day in her own shell and worrying about Christen being left alone. 

Besides, she wanted Christen to be alright too and have a successful recovery. 

“Tob, stop!” Kristie cuts her off, “I’m here as your friend, not boss. Besides, I’ve got that situation handled. I want you both to have some paid leave. Obviously for Christen until she recovers or is well enough to come back with minimal jobs and for you until Chris is home and able to at least walk a little again.” 

“Really?” Tobin says with wide eyes. 

“Yes,” Kristie nods, “Take the next three or four weeks off and then we can see if we should extend that time or not. I'll have to give you some stuff to do remotely, but you won’t have to come in. Your priorities are somewhere else, so you shouldn’t have to worry about work right now.” 

Tobin smiles gratefully, hugging Kristie. 

“Now please tell me what happened with your parents.” Kristie requests, leaning back in her chair again.

\--------

Channing walks through the double doors of the cafe, looking around to see if her parents were already there. When she spots them sitting in the corner, she walks over without even considering that she might want a drink. 

She arranged to meet with them after Tyler had told her what happened earlier in the week whilst she was visiting Christen.

“Hey, Chan!” Her dad greets with a happy tone. 

She doesn’t reply, sitting down and looking at them both - wondering how to go about this. 

“I don’t want to argue - I really don’t - but I think you both know why I’m here.” Channing says, sitting down slightly uncomfortably. “I’m just-, I’m so-, I-, I don’t even know where to start.” 

“What were you guys thinking?” She says, looking them both in the eye. 

“I don’t know,” Stacy admits, shrugging her shoulders. 

“I think we know exactly what we were thinking,” Cody continues, “What do you think those nurses would have said if we told them that our  _ daughter  _ has a girlfriend.” 

“I think they would have said, ‘Okay, what’s her number. I think we should call her so she can be here.’” 

“Do you not think that they would judge her or think it’s weird?” 

“I don’t think Christen would care if they judge her and no, I don’t think they would. I think what Christen would care about is feeling safe by having the person she loves by her side.” 

“Do you know how messed up all of this is?” Channing continues, “You were there when Michael broke her heart, you know how much that hurt her and how afraid she was to open up again. You saw all that, so why would you think it’s a good idea to try and push the person that makes her happy away?” 

Cody and Stacy stay silent, listening to Channing. 

“She’s not fifteen anymore. She’s not some teenager in high school where you don’t approve of her boyfriend, so you stop her from seeing him. She’s an adult, with her own house, her own life, her own job and in a serious relationship. Whether that’s with a woman or man really shouldn’t matter - as long as it’s what she wants.” 

“What she wants,” Stacy scoffs under her breath. 

“It’s been nearly a year now and they live together, so I think that tells us all that it’s exactly what she wants.” Channing rolls her eyes, “You didn’t even give Tobin a chance. You cut Christen off before they were even together, yet you still try and cause whatever damage you can.” 

“Look, whatever strange intentions you had by doing this - it’s clearly not working. I don’t know what you’re wanting to achieve, but the only people looking bad in all of this is you two. They’re adults for goodness sake, they can take care of themselves and have the freedom to do whatever they like.” 

“That doesn’t change the fact that Christen is our daughter and we should be looking out for her!” Cody chips in.

“Looking out for her would mean making sure she’s happy, healthy, safe, loved, and wanting to be involved in her life. The last time I checked, she was all of those things.” Channing scoffs, “She doesn’t need you guys. She has me, she has gran, she has Tyler - she has the whole of Tobin’s family. Christen can survive happily without you two in her life, but I thought as  _ her parents _ you might at least take some interest in being in your daughter’s life.”

“We do,” Stacy explains, “Just-” 

“Just when she’s straight, right.” Channing nods, “Because her being herself is such a terrible thing.”

“But this isn’t who she is!” Stacy continues. 

“No, it isn’t?” Channing challenges, “If you’d actually look Christen in the eyes and watch the way she acts around Tobin, you’d be able to see how happy she is.” 

“Really, Chan?” Cody says, unimpressed.

“You ruined your relationship with Christen a long time ago now. I thought that might have taught you a lesson, but instead you ruined the one with Tyler and me too.” Channing continues, “If you ever want a chance of fixing this with any of us in the future, I suggest you start with Christen.” 

She stands up from the table, putting her coat back on and giving them both a sad smile. “You brought us up to be supportive, caring and loving people - why can’t you do the same this time? I thought you’d both be better than this.”

Channing walks out without looking back, finding her car keys in her bag and leaving out of the doors. Cody simply sighs, excusing himself and walking towards the restroom. 

Stacy looks down, letting a tear fall, but quickly wiping it away again when she sees someone sitting down opposite her. 

“I’m sorry, this is none of my business but I was sitting on the table next to you and couldn’t help listening in.” An older woman smiles kindly at her, “I made the same mistake almost twenty years ago now. My daughter introduced her girlfriend to me and I lost it. I pushed her away, I ignored her and I said some horrible things to her. I didn’t see what I was doing wrong, because I was too busy convincing myself that she was in the wrong.”

“By the time I finally saw how happy she really was and that my actions didn’t change her mind, it was too late. I’d lost all four of my children because of the way I was treating her, and I missed her wedding too. I missed out on so much - anniversaries, meeting her in-laws, birthdays, christmases, the birth of my grandchildren...all of it.”

“I tried fixing it, I truly did, but the damage was already done. They don’t just forget something like that, especially if they have other people who they’re now able to call family. It’s been over ten years since I last spoke to any of them, and they don’t want anything to do with me anymore. Don’t make that mistake, don’t make the mistake that I’ve done just because you think it’s wrong. You’ll regret it someday.” 

Stacy sniffs, looking the woman in the eyes. “Thank you, really, but you don’t know my daughter. It might have been different for you, but this isn’t who she is.” 

The woman nods, standing back up again. “You’re right, I don’t know her. From what your other daughter just said though, I think you’ll find that one day you realize you were wrong all along. I just hope that they’re more forgiving than they should be and give you another chance.” 

\-------

After ten days, Christen was finally released from hospital. 

The doctors were happy with her progress and her concussion was cleared for no longer being a concern. 

She had a cast on, which she would have for eight weeks with no to minimal weight bearing. After that, the plan was for her to have a boot so she could start weight bearing and rehab with a physical therapist. 

Christen ended up requesting Kristie to send some work to go through for Tobin, to distract her from watching Christen ever waking second - as if she was about to break or disappear the minute she took her eyes off of her. 

“I’m so glad you’re home.” Tobin whispers, tucking Christen’s hair behind her ear. 

Christen gives her a soft smile from where she’s lying in the bed, eyes locked on Tobin’s. 

“Thank you for being my rock.” She leans in, giving her a soft kiss. “I love you. I know I say that all of the time now, but I really do.” 

“I love you too.” Tobin repeats, moving closer to Christen so she could curl into her side without hurting her. 

Christen’s wound on her head was now nothing more than a scar from the few stitches she had, barely visible unless you were looking directly at it. Her leg recovery was going frustratingly slow, but it wouldn’t be long until she was able to put at least a small amount of weight on it again. 

In the first week of Christen having a boot on, she was already more active and walking around the house with her crutches more than she probably should be. Tobin had spoken to Kristie and would be returning to coach the soccer team again, since that had become one of her main priorities there. 

She’d still been in constant contact with all of the other team coaches whilst she’s been at home - doing her part of her job without being there in person. She’d return back to teaching soon, but wanted to wait until Christen was able to walk on her own again before leaving her alone all day - especially if she had the opportunity to stay home and look after her instead. 

After not much work from Christen’s part, she managed to convince Tobin to take her for her first coaching session back. 

“Pleaseeee, Tobs?” Christen begs, “I’ll be fine, I promise. I can catch up with Alex and Julie, and then I’ll just sit on the bleachers until you’re finished.” 

“Alright, I guess so.” Tobin laughs at Christen’s pout, watching as her face lights up when she agrees. 

They drive to the high school early, knowing Alex and Julie like to leave when they’re done for the day and not wait too late. 

“Would you look who it is!” Julie calls across the sports hall when she spots Christen, causing Alex to turn around. 

“Hey, stranger.” Alex greets her, meeting them halfway to hug her. 

“What are you two doing here?” Alex asks as she hugs Tobin. 

Christen nods into Tobin’s direction, “It’s Tobin’s first day back with the team, so I thought I’d tag along.”

“Are you back to teaching too?” Julie says with a surprised voice, not expecting Tobin back for another couple of weeks.

“No,” Tobin shakes her head, “Not until Chris is off her crutches.” 

“What did the doctor say yesterday?” Julie asks, not having spoken to Christen since they all had takeaway at her house on the weekend.

“It seems to be healing well.” Christen looks down at her foot, “I should be able to start putting more weight on it again after my appointment with the physio next week and then hopefully without the crutches soon.” 

After Cindy and Jeff had been FaceTiming Christen and Tobin every week, checking in with them again and seeing how Christen was progressing, they’d invited both of them to join the family for thanksgiving since Christen was well enough to fly again. 

Tobin eagerly agreed after checking that Christen would be happy with the arrangement, excited for the opportunity to introduce Christen to the extended family. 

Whilst Christen was more than nervous about meeting Tobin’s cousins, aunt and grandparents, she was happy for the distraction from flying with crutches - that she’s growing to hate more every time she struggles with them. 

They didn’t land in New Jersey until the morning before Thanksgiving, having caught a red eye flight. Perry had offered them both the guest room at her house, thinking it would be easier for them to stay with her than at a hotel. 

“It’s so good to see you both.” Perry beams as their uber drops them off at her house. “I’ve missed you guys.”

“We missed you too,” Christen smiles, propping her crutch up against her hip so she can hug Perry. 

“How are you? They pulled quite the number on you.” 

“Who?” Christen asks with a chuckle, “The driver or my parents?”

Tobin laughs at her comment, glad that Christen can shrug it off by now. “Both!”

“Both of them.” Perry agrees, “I think I had a heart attack when mom called me and said you were in hospital.” 

Christen gives her a grateful smile, “I’m just sick of these crutches at this point. If Tobin would be back at work all day, I’d probably have tried to walk without them way too many times.”

“And that is why I’m not at work.” Tobin points out, stating the obvious reason. 

“I’m surprised you’re not sick of me yet.” Christen thinks back to how needy she’d probably been over the past month and a half. 

Tobin shrugs, “You’re actually pretty decent to be around.” 

“Thank you?” Christen says with a quirked brow.

“You’re both dorks,” Perry says, rolling her eyes and offering them both a drink. 

_ Of course  _ Christen leaves an amazing impression with everyone. 

Cindy would have accidentally strangled her - hugging the girl so tightly - if it wasn’t for Tobin laughing at her mom and asking her to let Christen breathe. 

Whilst she felt terrible having to turn down Cole’s request of playing a round of soccer, she had a chance to get to know Tobin’s grandparents - who turned out to be just as good-hearted as the brunette. 

Tobin’s cousins were both teenagers, simply offering a shy wave and kind greeting before disappearing again. She was quick to introduce Christen to her aunt, someone she used to tell everything to when growing up. 

Her father’s sister, Marie, eventually shooed Tobin away to play with her nephew whilst she stayed with Christen and offered her some company. 

“It’s lovely to meet you, Christen. I’ve heard  _ a lot  _ about you.” She smiles kindly. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you too.” 

“I don’t know if Perry or Katie ever told you this and I know they were only young, but I have to be the annoying sister-in-law so I’m telling you this story anyway.” Marie chuckles, taking a seat next to Christen. 

“I’m sure Tobin mentioned before that the only other ‘serious’ relationship Tobin has ever been in was in College,” She starts, waiting for Christen’s reaction. Christen nods, remembering Tobin telling her a story of a girl that she’d dated for just over a year before mutually calling it quits. “We never got to meet her, but Cindy and Jeff did once or twice when they went to visit Tobin. 

“After meeting her, neither of them ever said a word about her. I asked Cindy about her on the phone the day they came back and she didn’t even register who I was asking about until I mentioned the name.” Marie continued, “Same as when they broke up. I think Cindy just shrugged it off and forgot about it - after making sure Tobin wasn’t upset about it obviously.”

Christen nods, unsure where she was going with this. “Soooo when Perry was over at mine after Christmas and told me that Tobin was dating someone I didn’t react much. The day they all first met you, Cindy was on the phone with me until way past midnight because she was too busy gushing about how amazing you are and how happy Tobin seems.” 

“Knowing she’s never reacted like that before I thought to myself right away that you would be special, but it’s even nicer to see how much you two care about each other in person.” Marie squeezes her hand, “And it’s completely obvious that those three little rascals adore you too, and that’s always a big plus.” 

Christen laughs, smiling brightly at her. “They’re adorable!” 

“By the way,” She nudges Christen’s shoulder, “Cindy still brags about you every time. She spent all of last night telling me how much I’d like you.” 

“No pressure,” Christen pulls a face, quickly relaxing again. “Cindy’s the best - so is Jeff. They’ve both supported me through a lot and I couldn’t be more thankful for them.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a day late, oops.  
> -  
> Tumblr : PressPack


	19. We're All In This Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When we stand,  
> Hand in Hand,  
> Make our dreams come true.  
> Together.

Christen was curled into herself, asleep on the sofa by the time Tobin came home. 

She’d just finished her first week back working full time - teaching the odd lesson throughout the day and then coaching the team twice a week, which she’d been doing for the past few weeks already anyway. 

Now that she didn’t have to drive Christen to the physical therapist twice a week, instead only going once every two weeks, she was able to simply take that day off. 

Christen had also been doing a lot better recently, both mentally and physically - starting to easily walk by herself again. 

Tobin shakes her head with a smile when she sees Christen, looking at her watch to see that it’s still only early in the evening. 

Her co-workers had all invited her back to their weekly happy hour today, she’d assumed mostly to be polite, but they all knew the chances of her coming until Christen was back were close to zero. 

She drops her bag by the front door, quietly walking up the stairs to get changed into some sweats for the rest of the night. Tobin comes back down to see Christen in the same position, not having moved an inch. 

Looking at her, she debates on waking her up to let her know she’s home, but can’t bring herself to startle the girl out of her sleep. Instead, she pours herself a glass of wine and makes her way to the upstairs balcony.

Tobin covers herself with a blanket, feeling the cold chill in the winter breeze, and stretches her legs out on the loveseat to watch as the sun makes it all the way down. She moves the glass onto the floor once it’s fully dark outside, shimmying herself to a lying position so she can gaze at the stars instead. 

Everything seems crazy when she stops for a moment and  _ really  _ thinks about it. Three years ago she was sitting on the balcony of her Portland apartment, looking down at the cars driving through the streets and the city lit up from all of the buildings. She remembers it as if it was yesterday, but at the same time it feels like decades ago. 

_ “That’s where you went!” Lucie startles Tobin slightly, despite speaking in a soft voice. She was lost in the moment, deep in her thoughts. She hadn’t even heard the glass door open.  _

_ Tobin turns her head, looking over at the slightly younger girl. Her eyes lock with beautiful ocean blue ones, yet they do nothing for Tobin. No matter how many times she looks at pictures of them together - smiling, joking around and laughing brightly - she still can’t find that spark in her own eyes.  _

_ Sure her laugh was more than genuine and she loves Lucie, but not as more than one of her closest friends - and that is a line they crossed less than a week after they met. _

_ Conversation had always flown easily between the pair, rarely having a moment of silence. Tobin often struggled to open up to people and connect with them like that, but at the same time she wanted someone where the silence wasn’t awkward - where they didn’t constantly need to fill it.  _

_ Silences like the uncomfortable one in the air right now, the one where Lucie has to clear her throat to bring Tobin out of her own head. She moves to sit down on the floor next to Tobin, looking through the glass railing.  _

_ “What’s on your mind?” Lucie questions her, almost having a challenging smirk on her face. She leans in closer, raising her hand to tilt Tobin’s head so their lips can meet. Tobin moves back slightly, gently taking her hand and moving it down to her lap, intertwining their fingers together. “Come on, just stop thinking and we can go back to your bedroom.” _

_ Tobin knows she has to do this now - feels it inside her that she should do this in the current moment.  _

_ She takes a deep breath, turning to face the blonde girl sitting next to her. “I don’t think we should do this anymore.” Tobin says, gesturing between the two. _

_ Lucie scrunches up her eyebrows, tilting her head as if she wasn’t understanding what Tobin meant. It finally seemed to click for her, as she sat up a little taller. “Us?” She asks, as if she needs confirmation.  _

_ Tobin nods, speaking out quietly. “Yeah.” _

_ “Come on, Tobin. Don’t be like that.” She says a little harsher than she’d intended to. “Stay with me,” Lucie whispers as she tries to kiss Tobin again. _

_ She stops Lucie, moving over to the left - taking her hand out of Lucie’s and creating some space between them. “I’m trying to be serious here!” Tobin’s tone has a hint of annoyance in it.  _

_ “I don’t understand what you’re on about, Tobin. We just had a great night today, and the night before.”  _

_ “It’s not about that!” Tobin clarifies, making Lucie even more confused. _

_ “We both know this isn’t love and probably won’t ever be.” Lucie begins, “But that’s okay, it doesn’t have to be.” _

_ “I know, and you’re right.” Tobin shakes her head, “But that’s what I want, Luce. I want that big love in my life - the kind that takes your breath away, the kind where you come home to someone everyday and get to fall asleep next to them. I want to feel butterflies every time I think about the love of my life. Luce, I want to get married one day; I want to have kids and be a mother; I want to see my kids grow up and have kids of their own, whilst I’m still married to the person who makes me the happiest and who I committed the rest of my life to.”  _

_ “You’re still young Tob, you still have time.” Lucie points out, clearly acting stubborn. _

_ “I know, I know I do, but I just don’t think I can do this anymore - I’m sorry.” Tobin continues, “I need to work on myself. I need to spend some time respecting myself, making myself better and truly discovering who I am as an individual.”  _

_ Lucie’s head whips over in her direction as if she’d just spoken those words for the first time in this conversation, “So what you’re saying is you’re breaking up with me?” _

_ “Luce, we were never together - even you just said that.” Tobin speaks surely, a layer of confidence in her voice. “This isn’t fair to either of us. I want you to go out there and find that person too; I want you to find the person for you. The one that you love just as much as they love you.” _

_ “But I don’t see why we can’t just keep doing this until then, until we meet someone.” Lucie continues, “Being friends with benefits or whatever we’re doing never hurt anyone.” _

_ “I don’t want to.” Tobin explains, trying not to get frustrated. “I just want time to myself.” _

_ “Right, I’m sorry.” Lucie nods, “I should probably go.” _

_ Tobin nods, not even trying to extend the conversation a little longer.  _

_ “Can I kiss you goodbye?” Lucie asks with a chuckle, recognizing it’s a strange request but still giving it a shot anyway. _

_ Tobin bites her lip, thinking about it for a short moment before deciding that it wouldn’t harm anyone. She leans in, giving Lucie a short but lasting kiss before pulling back again to make her earlier point clear. _

_ “Goodbye, Tobin.” Lucie whispers, walking inside and closing the apartment door only a short moment later. _

_ When Tobin hears the familiar ‘click’ of the door, she leans back - letting tears fall onto her cheeks. She wasn’t sure why she was crying. Maybe it was because she hates hurting people; maybe it’s because she knows that she just lost one of her best friends in this city; or maybe it’s because of the relief and freedom she feels right now.  _

_ She almost feels guilty for the happiness she feels within herself - finally acknowledging that she can’t continue simply going through the motions of her life. She’s giving herself a chance to be so much more than she currently is - a chance to take new risks and an opportunity to truly work on herself and her own happiness.  _

_ And she did just that. Tobin learned more about herself than she ever knew there was to offer.  _

_ Turns out that she has a talent in art. That she’s a lot more reserved and shy than she ever thought she was. That she actually isn’t one to go to bars every weekend - something she used to do with Lucie and Lucie’s friends - instead rarely drinking and just letting the emotions hit her. She also finds a new love for relaxing and simply spending the night by herself, doing nothing but watching a movie or eating a full tub of ice cream.  _

_ Tobin found her old love for soccer again, now assisting one of her co-workers in coaching their varsity team. She’d also found more time to visit her brother, occasionally driving up to Seattle for his home games over the weekend or having him stay in Portland in between travels. When he was away at camp, she got to know his long-term girlfriend better.  _ _  
  
_

_ It wasn’t that Tobin had never taken an interest in her, in fact she knew her quite well, but with jobs and travels keeping them apart, she only got to see her once or twice a year.  _

_ It turned out that Tobin and Sarah had more in common than she could have ever imagined - going on to train and do a marathon together, becoming a lot closer than they had in the past and even introducing the other to close friends when they spent time together without Jeffrey. _

_ “So what, you just called it off with her just like that?” Sarah asks Tobin as they’re sitting on the kitchen table in her Seattle apartment, eating Thai take-out and waiting for Jeffrey to return from his training.  _

_ “Pretty much.” Tobin nods, having just told Sarah about her past with Lucie. She hadn’t told anyone in her family, despite all of them knowing they were close friends. _

_ Sarah raises her eyebrows, “That can’t have been easy.” _

_ Tobin shakes her head, “It wasn’t and I’d thought about it for ages before finally saying anything, but I needed it more than I thought I would.”  _

_ “You do seem a lot different,” Sarah agrees, “Not in a bad way, by the way. I’ve always really liked you and thought you were such a kind and genuine person, but you just seem different. I don’t know what I’m trying to get at, you just seem more relaxed and laid back - if that is even possible.”  _

_ Tobin nods, understanding the meaning behind her comment. “Yeah, I feel that way too. I just think that I neglected myself for so long, but didn’t notice until I stopped one day and thought ‘what am I even doing?’. I realized all of the things I wanted for myself for the future. I didn’t want to be getting drunk at that horrible bar almost every week or spending my time sleeping with someone that I don’t have feelings for. I wanted to find what hobbies I truly like and completely take relationships off the table for a while unless someone comes along that I think will be worth that time.” _

_ “And that’s fine - there’s nothing wrong with that.” Sarah offers her, showing that she supports Tobin. “You need to do what’s best for you. You’ll find someone when it’s the right time and right person. Once you truly find yourself and who you are, you’ll find that loving someone who loves you for exactly who you are will be the most amazing thing in the world.”  _

_ Tobin gives her a grateful smile. “I actually did something completely spontaneous the other day, but I think I might give it a serious shot.” _

_ “What’s that?” Sarah wonders, waiting for Tobin to elaborate and explain further.  _

_ “I applied for a new job.”  _

_ “You did?” Sarah’s eyes go wide, “I thought you love teaching? Are you thinking of changing careers?” _

_ “Nothing like that.” Tobin shakes her head, “It would be for a slightly different role, but I’d still be teaching on a weekly basis. It would just be in a different location. _

_ “Oh,” Sarah nods, “Still in Portland or somewhere completely different?” _

_ “California, actually.” Tobin says, biting her lip. “I think I need to get away - out of Portland - at least for a little while. There’s another couple schools in the area that have teaching roles open for me to apply for if I don’t get this job, but I’m going to sign a lease for a house in LA for a year and then see where I go from there. Maybe I get the job and stay, maybe I end up at a different school there or maybe in a year's time I’ll be half way across the states. Who knows?”  _

_ Sarah smiles at her, giving her a confident look. “They’d be stupid not to take you on, Tobin. You’re kinda the perfect person to move to Cali though. They don’t call you ‘the Cali girl who’s from the wrong state’ for no reason.”  _

_ They both laugh, and for some reason Tobin thinks that she might just stand a chance at getting herself a new job.  _

Nineteen months. It had been nineteen months since she moved into her now old house. 

_ “I still can’t believe you’re going through with this, Tobs.” Cindy shakes her head, looking around the empty room.  _

_ “It’s kind of crazy, isn’t it?” Tobin asks, genuinely wanting to know her mother’s opinion. _

_ “Maybe,” Cindy shrugs, “But not for you!” _

_ Tobin stops what she’s doing - putting the measuring tape on the floor and taking a sip out of the to-go coffee she’d bought earlier, which was surely cold by now.  _

_ “What do you mean?” _

_ “You’ve always been one for new adventures, new places, new people - it’s just who you are. You’re a bit like Jeffrey in that sense, just that he doesn’t usually get the option because of this job. If Perry or Katie had told me they were doing this, I would have asked them if they were sure more than a few times and probably tried to rope them out by now. But this is you, and it just makes sense.”  _

_ Tobin gives her a small smile, understanding where she’s coming from. She’s always been a bit here and there and all over the place - not having a fixed home but not feeling lonely or lost either.  _

_ “I have a good feeling about this!” Cindy continues, pulling Tobin into a side hug, “Maybe Cali will turn out to be the place where you find everything you’ve ever wanted and you stay here for a long time.” _

_ Tobin nods into her mother’s shoulder, agreeing with her statement.  _

_ “Or...” She continues, “...you’ll end up hating it and move as far away as you can before your lease is even up.”  _

_ Cindy looks down at her daughter, seeing her laugh at the simple, but potentially true, statement.  _

_ “I’m really glad you could come.” Tobin sighs, looking into her eyes gratefully.  _

_ “There’s nowhere else I would rather be.” Cindy clarifies, pulling Tobin in even tighter.  _

_ “I love you, mom.”  _

_ Cindy smiles at her, returning those words. “I love you too, Tob.” _

Nineteen months. 

Here she was, in a fully committed and healthy relationship, living with the woman she’s so deeply in love with. 

Butterflies filled her stomach just thinking about Christen’s green eyes that sometimes looked grey; the freckles that spread all over her face in the summer; her long, dark curls that looked flawless no matter how they were styled or perfected that day; her effortless way of looking like the most beautiful person on earth, even in sweats without wearing make-up; the way she slowly drifts out of her sleep in the morning, always pulling Tobin in tighter and looking into her eyes with a smile. 

Everytime Tobin falls asleep and wakes up next to Christen, it’s as special as the first time Christen fell asleep in her arms.

_ It had only been about two hours since Christen and Tobin finally talked about their feelings for each other - even though the majority of that time was spent making out in Tobin’s car.  _

_ Christen had asked her to stay the night and who was Tobin to ever turn down an opportunity like that.  _

_ “Tobs,” Christen starts with a small sigh. Her head is propped up on her fist, facing Tobin from where she’s lying in bed. “I really, really, really like you. I have for a while now, and I really want to do this with you. But you know about my past and that I haven’t really dated since, so I need to know. I have to know if I’m in this more than you are, because it scares me. It scares me to open up again, but it also scares me because the way I feel about you is more than I ever felt about anyone else. I can’t lose you, Tobs. Not once I have you, but especially not as a friend.” _

_ Tobin reaches her hand out towards Christen, slowly brushing her hair out of her face before intertwining their fingers softly.  _

_ “I really, really, really like you too.” Tobin speaks clearly, wanting to make sure that Christen would hold onto her words and take the truth in them. “I think I felt something for you since we first met, even if I couldn’t have put it into words back then. I know it’s hard on you, but I promise you that you’ll never lose me. I really want this too and we can give it a shot, right? And if it doesn’t work out, we’ll go back to being friends. No hard feelings. But I know that I would rather have us going back to being friends, than never knowing what it’s like to actually be with you.” _

_ “But what if I screw it all up, Tobin? What if I’m just not made to be loved?” Christen sounds so small that Tobin starts stroking Christen’s knuckles with her thumb, her heart breaking a little at how vulnerable Christen is right now.  _

_ “I don’t believe that you’ll screw anything up. You’re amazing and if there’s anyone that deserves to be loved, it’s you. We’re going to make this work Chris. As long as you keep telling me how you feel, no matter how big or small your thought is, and I keep telling you how I feel. Do you think you can do that?” _

_ Tobin has this kind of effect on her. She instantly makes her feel calmer and more relaxed, as if Tobin’s reassurance is the only thing that matters - and maybe it is. _

_ “Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.” She nods, feeling slightly more confident than before.  _

_ “Let’s just take things one day at a time. Don’t stress about something that’s in the future, when everything could be different then anyway. We don’t know what’s going to happen in a year from now, but what we can do is live in the moment. Because all I want to do in this moment is be here, with you.” Tobin lies down, hugging Christen close to her. She leaves a sweet kiss on her hair, running her fingertips lightly up and down Christen’s arm. “And I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. I promise.”  _

_ Christen turns, so she is lying half on top of Tobin. Her right arm is around Tobin’s middle section, her head on Tobin’s chest whilst she breathes in Tobin’s scent and her right leg is resting in between Tobin’s. Almost all of Christen’s full weight is on the brunette, but instead of trying to give herself some space, Tobin just hugs her even closer.  _

_ “I’ll always be here for you too. Let’s do this, one day at a time.” Christen lifts up her head and pecks Tobin’s lips before snuggling her face into Tobin’s neck. “Thank you Tobs. You’re the best.”  _

_ Christen tightens her grip around Tobin slightly. “Night, Tobin”  _

_ “Night, Chris.” _

A small smile makes its way onto Tobin’s face, lips curling upwards.  _ Yeah _ , she thinks to herself.  _ Yeah, this is what unconditional love is supposed to look like.  _

The type of love that society says you can only find in family and not in romantic partners. The type that never fades away, instead only growing stronger every day. The type that never judges, accepting the other for everything they are. The type that’s strong and supportive, providing safety and comfort. It’s also the one that can rip someone apart in arguments or fights, but still never shows a single sign of fading. The type of love that you put everything into and simultaneously would give everything away for, just to keep feeling it until your very last breath. 

Her mind rewinds through all of the times she’d felt that love for Christen, realizing that she couldn’t even name specific moments because they all drifted together into one. It was the first thing she felt in the morning, thinking about green eyes before she could even look into them - and the last thing she felt at night, feeling Christen’s eyelashes lightly brush against the skin on her neck as they both drift off to sleep. No moment sticks out to her more than the other, yet she still thinks the first time she  _ really  _ noticed that she was in love with Christen might be the most special one. 

_ “Chris, stop!” Tobin yells after her girlfriend, who comes to a stop a few feet ahead of her. She doesn’t look up, almost convinced that she’d see the hint of teasing annoyance in them - along with an eyeroll. “You can’t just drag me out on a run and then sprint to the other side of the state and back.” _

_ “I told you, you’re just too slow, baby.” Christen teases, crossing her arms to exaggerate her point. She knows that Tobin will only take the comment light-hearted, but she loves to tease her all the same. _

_ “I physically can’t run any faster.” Tobin states with a pleading tone, “You’ll just have to run slower or walk or something!” _

_ Christen shakes her head, watching Tobin be more dramatic than necessary.  _

_ “Let’s just stroll by the water for a bit.” She suggests, sticking her hand out for Tobin.  _

_ Tobin agrees a little too eagerly, intertwining her fingers with Christen’s and walking towards the path leading down towards the sand.  _

_ Christen turns around with a confused look when Tobin stops walking, pulling them back. “You’re not seriously going in the sand with shoes.”  _

_ “Well I wasn’t planning on it, no.” Christen shakes her head, letting go of Tobin’s hand and taking her shoes off. She carries them both in her hand, walking ahead onto the sand. _

_ Tobin does the same - jogging a few steps to catch up with Christen and linking their fingers together again.  _

_ The beach was busier than usual for a typical November weekend, the sun shining just a little more today - making the temperatures seem way too high for late fall.  _

_ They walk up to the edge of the water - the water covering their feet with every wave making it to the shore.  _

_ “It’s so warm today,” Christen acknowledges, tilting her head up towards the sky and taking in the sunlight. “I definitely shouldn’t have worn a sweatshirt.”  _

_ “Is Christen Press, the ultimate SoCal girl, saying she’s too warm?” Tobin laughs, watching as Christen looks down at the warm sweatshirt she’d paired with her running shorts.  _

_ “No!” Christen defends herself, “I’m just saying that your outfit choice was a lot smarter.”  _

_ She looks over at Tobin’s running shorts that she’d smartly paired with a tank top instead. _

_ “Do you want to repeat that?” Tobin teases, “I think I should just record you saying that the UNC alum is smarter than the Stanford one...just for future reference.”  _

_ “That is definitely not what I meant, Heath!” Christen’s head snaps in Tobin’s direction.  _

_ “No?” Tobin bites her lip, raising an eyebrow. She’s debating her next move, knowing Christen might make her pay for it later on but deciding it wouldn’t hurt anyone.  _

_ She reaches over to Christen’s shoes, “Here let me carry them, babe.” _

_ “Oh, being charming will get you anything.” Christen recognizises, thinking Tobin was trying to butter her up so she’d admit to her earlier statement. She shrugs, giving Tobin the shoes anyway, thinking it was less to carry for her.  _

_ “I was just saying that it’s really hot and I should have worn a tank top too.” Christen repeats, still feeling the need to defend herself.  _

_ “Well we’ll have to do something about that then, won’t we?” Tobin challenged, subtly putting their shoes down in the sand.  _

_ Before Christen is able to question what Tobin meant, the older girl picks her up and walks deeper into the water. She’s underwater before she’s able to register what Tobin’s plan was.  _

_ “You’re dead.” Christen says sternly, coming up from the water and rubbing her eyes so she can see again.  _

_ Tobin’s stood a few meters away from her, doubling over with laughter. She walks towards Tobin, planning to get her own revenge when she sees that her clothes are still fully dry.  _

_ Just as she’s about to reach Tobin, the older girl reacts first and practically wrestles her, dropping Christen back into the water. She almost anticipated it this time, managing to cling onto Tobin and pull her down too.  _

_ They both come up from under the water, looking at their current state and can’t help but laugh.  _

_ “What were you saying about being too warm?” Tobin questions, looking Christen up and down.  _

_ It’s not until they get out of the water that they both realize they have no towels or spare clothes to get home in. Luckily, Christen’s house isn’t too far away - but they still had three more blocks left to run.  _

_ As they’re making their way back to Christen’s, walking through the streets with drenched clothing and wet hair, Tobin looks over in Christen’s direction when she feels the younger girl squeeze her hand. She meets green eyes looking at her lovingly, holding her gaze for a long moment.  _

_ When she turns her head back onto their path, she bites her lip. It’s in that moment she realizes just how in love she is with Christen. _

_ Feeling fuller and happier than she ever has, she drags Christen into the shower as soon as they make it through the front door.  _

It had been such a journey since then - like a wild roller coaster that regularly stopped at its peak, where it’s the most peaceful. 

The first time Tobin heard Christen speak those words out loud, she thought her heart was going to burst from the amount of love she felt. 

_ Tobin was tucked into the duvet, almost asleep by the time they finished their conversation.  _

_ Christen had gone to visit her sisters for the first time since Christmas, having excitedly spent the last hour or two telling Tobin about how well it went. _

_ Tobin smiled the whole time, feeling proud of Christen for being brave and putting herself first.  _

_ Christen turns the bedside lamp off, rolling over to be met with hazel-colored eyes.  _

_ They stay there for a long moment, just admiring the beauty in each other’s eyes through the streak of moonlight shining in through the uncovered gap of the window.  _

_ “Tobs,” Christen speaks out in a quiet whisper, something she probably wouldn’t have heard if it wasn’t for the pure silence filling the room.  _

_ Tobin simply lets out a tired hum, wanting Christen to know that she was listening but feeling the need to let sleep find her all the same. _

_ Christen opens her mouth to speak quietly, looking at Tobin to wait for her reaction. “I’m in love with you.”  _

_ “I’m in love with you too.”  _

_ Tobin picks her head up, leaning forward and capturing Christen’s lips with her own. She kisses her softly, not rushing the kiss and not deepening it any further.  _

_ She pulls Christen in close after their lips separate, ready to drift off into sleep with a smile on her face.  _

_ Tobin has known that they both felt that way. She’d recognized it a while ago, but was happy to keep those feelings for herself a little longer and wait until Christen was ready to say it out loud. _

_ She knew that now both sister’s knew about the ordeal with Christen’s parents, Christen felt ready to let go of her own demons and simply let herself be.  _

Tobin’s eyes continue to search the sky. She’s not looking for anything in particular, just enjoying the peacefulness and view.

It’s a lot darker now she notices, realizing it must be a lot later by now. 

The sliding glass doors that link their bedroom to the balcony slide open, revealing a tired looking Christen. Tobin assumes that she must have seen the bags she left at the door, noticing her presence in the house and coming to look for her.

“Hey, stranger.” Christen smiles, closing the door again and carefully walking over towards Tobin. 

She’s about to move and make some space for Christen, when she’s stopped by her simply slotting herself between Tobin and the backrest. Christen adjusts her leg so her boot is resting on the cushion at the other end of the seat. She’s lying mostly on top of Tobin now, but neither girl minds. Tobin just drops her arms down to Christen’s back, pulling her in tightly whilst the other hand plays with the ends of Christen’s curls. 

Christen makes quiet conversation with her, asking how Tobin’s day went and when she came home. They lie there in silence after a while, both content to just lie in each other’s arms. Without even realizing, they find themselves in the silence Tobin had been recalling earlier. The silence that doesn’t have a reason to be filled, because it’s never awkward in the first place. 

“Do you believe in soulmates?” Tobin asks suddenly, even surprising herself with the question. She hadn’t planned it - didn’t know where it came from. Maybe it was encouraged by her earlier thoughts, or maybe it just came out of thin air. 

Christen nods into Tobin’s neck, “Yeah, I do.” 

Of course Christen believes in soulmates. Tobin doesn’t even know why she asked that question, considering the fact she could have easily answered it by herself. She hadn’t expected a different answer from her. 

“Do you?” Tobin hears Christen whisper, her voice filled with curiosity. 

Tobin internally debates on what to tell Christen, but quickly makes up her mind to tell her the truth. She tells Christen everything, so it wasn’t much of a debate anyway. 

“I didn’t. I always believed that I’d find someone that I would love more than anyone else, but I never believed in soulmates.” Tobin begins, letting the silence linger for a moment. “But then you came along and changed everything. So if you’re asking about now, then yes I believe in soulmates too.” 

“Yeah?” Christen asks almost shyly.

Tobin nods, angling her face down so she can look at Christen. “Yeah,” Tobin whispers, “You’re everything.”

They stay there for a little longer, until they’re interrupted by Tobin’s stomach rumbling causing them both to laugh.

“What would you say to going for a drive to In-N-Out right now?” Christen asks hopefully, giving Tobin the cutest smile she could muster. 

Tobin smiles, giving in easily. “I’d say that sounds like a great idea.” 

Late that night, when they’re back home and in bed, Tobin lets her mind zone out again. 

Christen looks at her lovingly, leaning in and kissing her goodnight before snuggling as close as she can to sleep. Tobin closes her eyes and tightens her grip. 

_ Yeah, I want it all with this girl.  _ Tobin thinks to herself when she feels Christen nuzzle even further into her neck.  _ I want to marry her.  _

She’d thought of it before, even mentioned it to Christen at Channing’s wedding because she just couldn’t keep it in any longer, but it’s different this time. Suddenly, she’s never been more sure of anything in her life. Suddenly, it doesn’t seem all that scary anymore. 

_ She  _ wants to be the reason that Christen smiles everyday - wants to make sure Christen feels loved everyday and has someone to open up to. 

_ When you know you know  _ is what everyone has always told her - her siblings, her parents, her friends, everyone. Usually she just rolled her eyes in response, but  _ now  _ she doesn’t think there’s ever been a better way to describe it. 

She tilts her head to kiss Christen’s forehead and keep her lips resting against them gently, “I love you so much.” 

Tobin surely thought Christen was already asleep, judging by the way her breath steadied a while ago. But when she hears Christen whisper the words back to her in a sleepy state, “I love you even more, baby.”, she doesn’t think she’s ever had a more magical moment in her life.

It was so simple, and yet it meant the world to Tobin. 

\-------

“Good morning,” Christen speaks softly when she sees Tobin’s eyes flutter slightly. 

She’s met with soft lips on hers, so she doesn’t even bother trying to open her eyes any further. Tobin turns her body sideways, deepening the kiss at the new angle. 

Christen’s about to attempt pushing her luck, starting to let her hands wander a little, when Tobin’s phone rings. 

They both groan in response, separating so Tobin can see who’s calling. 

“It’s my mom.” Tobin exclaims, turning her phone towards Christen. 

Christen sits up, straightening her shirt and tying her hair into a messy bun so she doesn’t look like they’d spent the last ten minutes making out in bed.

Tobin does the same, accepting the call. 

“Hi mom.” Tobin greets with slight annoyance, smiling all the same. 

“Oh my gosh, were you guys still asleep?” Cindy quickly asks, seeing that they’re both still lying in bed. “I’m so sorry, I completely forgot about timezones.”

Christen laughs at her and Tobin’s annoyed tone quickly fades, “No, we just woke up.” She shakes her head, “You’re fine, don’t worry.” 

“Good!” Cindy says happily, now that she has them both on her screen. “How’s the leg, Chris?”

“Really good,” She explains, “I should be getting my boot off next week!” 

Cindy nods, satisfied with the answer. 

“Everything alright, mom?” Tobin wonders, trying to figure out why her mother had just called them. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to speak to her, she just hadn’t expected her to FaceTime them so early in the day for seemingly no reason.

“Everything’s great,” Cindy nods, “I actually just called to see if you’re both spending Christmas with us? I know Jeffrey’s with Sarah’s family, but I was hoping you two would maybe have the chance to fly out?” 

Tobin looks over to Christen, silently communicating with her. They both loved spending time with Tobin’s family and it’s not like they had anywhere else to be. The only other people they could be spending Christmas with were Tyler and Channing, but they were both travelling to spend the holidays with their in-laws.

“Of course!” Tobin nods with a bright smile, “We’d love to come!” 

“As long as you promise that I can help you with something, Cindy.” Christen grins, knowing that Cindy hated it when one of them offered to help her and refused to accept it.

Cindy quickly shakes her head, “Nope. Not necessary at all, Christen.” 

“We’ll see about that.” Christen mumbles quietly, still loud enough for Cindy to catch onto it and shake her head with a laugh. 

“I’ll let you two go then, seeing as I didn’t even check the time before I called. I’ll speak to you both later?” Cindy asks hopefully, beginning to feel the Christmas spirit - now that it was December. She was also desperate to see Christen and Tobin again, feeling as if it’s been longer than it has since they last saw each other. 

“Okay, mom.” Tobin laughs, “Please tell dad we say hi.” 

“I will, Sweetheart. Bye Tobs, Bye Chris.” Cindy announces as she waves at them. Christen and Tobin return the goodbye before hanging up. 

“I love her, but that is not how I planned for this morning to go.” Tobin whines, making Christen laugh at how childish she was being.

Christen pulls Tobin back into her, “Well, the last time I checked we didn’t have anywhere to be today.”   
  
\------- **  
** **  
** The next few weeks go by in the blink of an eye. Time starts moving way too fast and way too slow at the same time. It feels like just yesterday that Tobin was leaving the house to visit the hospital the last time before Christen comes home. 

Christen’s had her last official physical therapy session and her leg is fully healed. She has one final check-up left, scheduled for two months later, but she doesn’t have to worry about that for now. She’s able to walk, run and drive again, which she was way too happy about for Tobin’s liking - currently dragging her out for a short run on an almost daily basis.

Tobin argues every time that she might as well stay home, seeing as Christen’s idea of a jog might as well be a sprint, but Christen explains every time that it’s more fun to go with Tobin and promises to run slower in return.

After Christen’s car was written off due to the damage, they took a day out of a free weekend to buy her a new car. Christen insisted that she’d just get a cheaper car and save some money, but Tobin knows her too well and wasn’t about to be fooled. She had no doubt that Christen would go for the cheaper car and never complain - she would never complain about a privilege like that - but Tobin also knew that Christen had spent months saving up for her Audi. It was her dream car - anyone that knows Christen was aware of this. 

With a bit of stubbornness and insistence from Tobin’s part, Christen eventually agreed to getting the same car again. Through combining the money from her insurance, some of her paid leave and a small part of it coming from Tobin’s, she was able to pay for the brand new car. 

Despite Christen putting up more than a few discussions saying that Tobin shouldn’t be paying for  _ her  _ car, Tobin wouldn’t back down. She used the arguments that she would probably drive it too every now and then, that it would be parked in  _ their  _ driveway and that she didn’t care for spending the money on it as she was just thankful that Christen was healthy again.

Deep down, Tobin knew that she’d also do anything to make Christen happy everyday so she wanted to help her with this. Besides, it wasn’t like they split their money into strict categories - sharing most of their income and combining their savings for future vacations and to turn shared dreams into plans.

The beaming smile on Christen’s face when they picked her car up made it more than worth it. 

Christen had since insisted that Tobin won’t be allowed to get her a present for her birthday or christmas, but what she doesn’t know  _ yet  _ can’t hurt her. 

It’s already Christmas time now - decorations hanging up in windows and children running around in Christmas sweaters. 

Somehow the days seem to be flying by and it’s already Christmas break for Tobin and she’s busy packing her suitcase, whilst Christen watches her with an amused smile after packing hers a day prior.

Next thing both of them know, is that they’re walking out of the airport in New Jersey and ordering an uber to Perry’s house. 

Perry jumps with excitement when she sees them both, always being one to love this time of the year and being able to see her family. Before she even has the chance to invite them both in and offer to take their bags, an excited Cole and Kayden come crashing into them and hug them both tightly. 

They both don't miss a beat, Christen picking Kayden up right away and hugging him tightly. She beams at him when he mumbles, “Hi, Aunnie Chrissy!” into her shoulder, still not being able to fully pronounce the ‘t’ yet. Christen returns the words right away, leaving a kiss on his head and then passing him into Tobin’s arms so she could hug Cole too.

When they finally make it inside, Jeff greets them in the hallway. 

“I didn’t think you’d ever make it inside.” He teases, walking over and giving them both a short hug. Right away, he offers to take the bags to their room for them, which they accept gratefully. 

Cindy and Jeff were staying at Perry’s house too, since Katie had decided it would be easiest for her, James and Ellie to book a hotel room close by now that Ellie was getting older. The last time they’d been in New Jersey for Christmas was before Ellie’s second birthday, so it hadn’t been a problem to share a bed for their stay. 

Taylor comes out of the kitchen, not hesitating to hug them both too. 

“Mom just took my car to get Katie, Ellie and James.” Perry explains as they get some drinks and settle in, “She’s going to be so upset that we got to see you guys first!” 

They all laugh, knowing that it would be proven to be true. 

The next morning, Perry and Christen have their usual yoga session together - one that became a routine whenever they’re in the same place at the same time. 

“How’s Tobin doing?” Perry asks seriously once they’re both finished and sitting on their mats. No one else was awake yet, so they wouldn’t be overheard. Besides, Perry’s house was relatively big so they’d hear someone approaching before that person could understand their conversation. 

Christen sighs, trying to think back on the past few months. “She’s...getting there.” She begins, wanting to be honest with Perry. “She took the crash hard -  _ really  _ hard, which given the circumstances is understandable. It’s Tobin though, so she definitely tried being a lot stronger than she was. I’ve never seen her cry as much as when she first turned up at the hospital.”

It was hard for Christen to think back to that day, not necessarily because of what happened to her, but everything with Tobin and her parents really affected all of them. 

“I was scared that she’d close off after that, like she sometimes does without even realizing when she’s upset. She actually didn’t though, she spoke to me about all of it and her feelings which was good, and didn’t have too many sleepless nights.”

Perry nods, knowing that was one of her biggest concerns. Tobin would often get lost in her own head and avoid talking to others in favor of sleepless nights when there’s something upsetting her. 

“She’s a lot better now. I definitely think that coming here for Thanksgiving and being here now helps. I think having that break off work helped her a lot too, even though I know that going back to coaching and teaching is helping her just as much.” Christen continues, thinking back on how much better Tobin was by the time she was ready to go back to work. “I mean Tobin has the biggest heart ever, so it’s so easy for her to put other people first. That’s why I think the time off was so important for her; we spoke so openly about it all during that time, that she’s started bringing random thoughts up right away now. We’ve always been very open in that sense, always discussing whatever is on our minds, but you know first hand how she gets when it’s something big - she’ll be afraid to bring it up because she feels like she doesn’t have the right to be upset or that it shouldn’t impact her.” 

“Definitely!” Perry agrees, “That’s something she’s always struggled with, but I’m glad that she’s speaking to you about things and learning how to be more open with the heavy things too.”

She gives Christen a grateful smile, “Thank you for everything you do for Tobin and us all. We love spending time with you and having you in the family.”

“I think I’m the one that should be thanking you guys!” Christen shakes her head, “I appreciate you, all of you, so much and I can’t even start telling you how much this means to me. You guys were so welcoming from the start and I couldn’t ask for a better family!”

Perry gives her the softest smile, standing up to hug Christen. “The little ones adore you, by the way. I think you already knew that but all three of them truly love you. Cole even told his teacher about his  _ awesome aunties  _ that always play soccer with him, which is funny considering the fact his uncle is the one that went pro.” 

“They’re amazing kids.” Christen gives her a bright smile, “You and Katie - and obviously Taylor and James too - are doing such an awesome job raising them!”

“Can I expect some more nieces and nephews at some point down the line?” Perry challenges, “I have to prepare myself a few years in advance.”

“I hope so.” Christen looks at her almost shyly, “I just have to convince her to put up with me long enough.”

Perry winks at her, “Weirdly enough, I really don’t think that’s going to be an issue. That girl is head-over-heels for you!”

“That feeling is mutual.” Christen admits as she puts the yoga mat away again.    
  
\-------   
  
Tobin and Christen are still asleep when Cole enters the room that they’re staying in, in the earlier hours of christmas day. Christen’s in her usual position, lying half on top of Tobin with her head nuzzled into Tobin’s neck, with Tobin’s arm wrapped securely around her and resting on her bareback from where Christen’s shirt has ridden up in the night.

“Toto! Chrissy!” Cole yells with laughter as he bounces up and down on the bed, falling over at the same time and landing on top of them both. He makes a quick recovery, getting back up to his feet within the blink of an eye.

Perry walks past the doorway of their room, seeing that they both still seem to be asleep. “Cole, come here.” She whispers loudly, “Let them sleep, buddy.” 

Cole, being as excited as he is to open his presents, continues jumping on the bed whilst Perry tries to get him out of the room. Before she’s able to enter the room and carry him out to put an end to his excited yelling, he’s giggling again. 

Christen, always being the lighter sleeper, wakes up from the commotion and doesn’t miss a beat. She pulls Cole down next to her, tickling him and then hugging him tightly. 

Perry steps back from the door frame, watching with a smile on her face from the hallway. Tobin is awake now too, not hesitating to join in and tickle her nephew once Christen rolled off of her so she was able to move. 

Just as Cole calms down again and cuddles into both of them, smaller feet come running and Kayden also climbs up on the bed. Tobin and Christen give each other a look, laughing as they both reach forward and start tickling Kayden at the same time. 

“Chrissy! Toto! You have to get up!” Cole squeals, jumping off the bed. “Santa came!”

He runs out of the room again before they’re able to respond, Kayden desperately trying to copy his older brother and running after him. 

Tobin shakes her head at their antics, turning to Christen with a smile. “Merry Christmas, by the way.” Tobin greets her, leaning in to peck her lips. 

“Merry Christmas, baby!” Christen smiles, sitting up and getting out of bed. “Come on, let’s go downstairs!” She says whilst throwing a hoodie at Tobin and sticking a hand out.

They spend Christmas day opening presents, playing games and eating a heap of chocolate that Cindy bought, before they even get to Christmas dinner. 

Cole was over the moon when he realized that Christen was able to play soccer with him again, running outside and making her play a round despite the freezing temperatures.    
  
\-------   
  
“I have a surprise for you!” Tobin’s practically bouncing on her feet out of excitement as she approaches Christen.

It’s boxing day now and luckily Jeff and Taylor seem to be the only ones suffering from a hangover. They’d all spent the morning being lazy, Christen and Tobin watching cartoons with Ellie, Kayden and Cole in the living room so they could give Perry and Katie a rest from being dragged around the house by their kids. 

Christen got roped into a conversation with Taylor and James half-an-hour ago, when Tobin disappeared saying she’d be back shortly but never returned. She’d just assumed that Tobin got distracted and ended up helping with dinner preparations or doing something else. 

She quirks an eyebrow at Tobin, silently questioning what it was. 

“Come with me!” Tobin smiles, reaching a hand out and dragging a clueless Christen up the stairs. 

“We should probably get changed.” She suggests as they enter the room, going over to their suitcases and pulling a warmer option than her current outfit out. When she sees that Christen is still rooted in the same spot, she moves over to the other suitcase and gives Christen some too. 

“Why do we need to change?” Christen wonders. It hadn’t snowed so far, but the temperatures were still lower than both of them were used to in California. Perry’s house had a comforting warmth to it though and Christen knew that she’d be way too warm if she put on the clothes that Tobin just layed out. 

Tobin shuts the door, getting undressed and changed before answering Christen’s question. “We’re going out! I want to show you something.” 

Christen simply shrugs, deciding not to question it further. Besides, she quite enjoys the refreshing temperatures that New Jersey offers them for the winter. 

Tobin waves to Cindy, Katie and Perry, informing them that they’re heading out. She grabs Perry’s car keys before walking through the front door, a slightly confused Christen following her. 

They don’t drive for more than ten minutes, pulling into a small and abandoned parking lot. Tobin puts the car in park and hops out, walking over to the other side to open Christen’s door too. 

“What are we-” Christen begins, quickly being interrupted. 

Tobin silences her with a kiss, “Just wait, I’ll explain in a moment.”

She walks around the back of the car, pulling two bags out of the trunk - taking them both in one hand so she could drag Christen along with the other. When they reach the top of a hill, Tobin points ahead of them to the breathtaking view of the neighborhood and city in the background. 

“Wow!” Christen says with wide eyes, looking at the view in front of them - the street, car and house lights all looking like a dream in contrast to the pitch black night sky. She looks over to Tobin, who’s laying a blanket out in front of them. “This view is incredible!”

“Here,” Tobin smiles, passing Christen a pair of gloves to go with the warm coats they’d both put on. It hadn’t been too cold today, but the night chill was slowly starting to creep in.

“Thanks.” Christen mumbles, trying to warm her already-cold fingers up. 

Tobin pats the spot next to her, requesting for Christen to sit down. She pulls another blanket out of the bag, wrapping it around their shoulders to help them stay warm and reaching for the second bag. 

“So, since everything was kinda crazy for our actual anniversary and we could only celebrate from a hospital bed and then inside the house, I wanted to take you here and try this again!” Tobin explains, wanting Christen to understand why they’re here. Christen was still in hospital for their actual anniversary, so they postponed their celebrations until she was home. Despite having a great evening together inside the house, Tobin wanted to make their night more special and memorable and figured that this was the perfect opportunity to do so. “I used to love coming here when I was growing up because of the view, so I thought that we might be able to brave the cold for a few hours.” 

Christen looks at her lovingly, leaning in to kiss her forehead and then rest her head on Tobin’s shoulder. “Thank you.” She says simply, not being able to find the words to express her feelings in this moment. But she knows that Tobin knows her - can read right through her - and will be able to understand how much this means to her. 

Tobin pulls out the food she’s packed for them, figuring they might as well have a small  _ picnic date  _ here. She spoke to her mother about this a few weeks prior, Cindy pointing out what a good idea that was and that she could help her make some food or distract Christen whilst Tobin prepared for the picnic. 

They eat through lengthy conversations, sharing new stories about their childhood and teen years that hadn’t come up in the past. 

“Did you know that I actually had my first kiss right here?” Tobin asks, knowing that there was no way for Christen to be aware of this but still wanting to tell her the story anyway. They were huddled closely together, trying to gain some more warmth. Luckily there was only a small breeze tonight, making the air more humid and bearable.

Christen's head snaps over to her, a teasing glint in her eyes. “Oh yeah? Should I be jealous?”

“Hmm, I don’t know.” Tobin shrugs easily, “It was probably the best kiss I’ve ever had.”

She says it so thoughtfully, that it’s almost believable. Tobin turns her head to see Christen frown slightly, clearly trying to come up with a good response and being unsure if she should take Tobin seriously or not.

Deciding to put Christen out of her own misery, she nudges her lightly. “I’m joking, babe.” She tells her through a chuckle, “It was the worst, like ever, and if that isn’t bad enough - it was with a guy!” 

“With a guy?” Christen asks with a laugh, not being able to picture a teenage Tobin having a crush on a guy. “Did you have any other kisses up here that I should know about?”

“Nope,” Tobin says as she pops the letter ‘p’, “Only that one.” 

Christen gives her a smirk, tilting her head slightly. “Well, what do you say about having a better kiss here?” 

Tobin looks at her with a shocked face, almost making Christen question if she had just said the wrong thing. “Just a better one?” Tobin asks, “I think we could probably top that with  _ the  _ best one.”

“Really, Tobs?” Christen chuckles, thinking about the current temperatures and layers of clothing they both have on. “If a kiss right now would be our best one, then I’d be kinda offended.” 

Tobin shakes her head, whispering to Christen with a small smile. “Every kiss with you is the best one!” She leans in, closing the gap between them and pulling Christen into a long kiss - not being patient enough to wait before deepening it. 

Christen smiles to herself as they pull away once they’re both out of breath, thinking about the fact that it’s now a year later and she still gets butterflies everytime she kisses Tobin.

“I think that was definitely one of the best!” Tobin grins, winking to her girlfriend. “I might have to try again and confirm it though.” They both laugh as they lean back in, getting lost in each other and completely forgetting about their surroundings and the fact that the air is definitely starting to get colder.

When they pull apart for the second time, Christen lets the silence linger for a moment before speaking what’s on her mind. “Where’s your head been recently about everything? How is it in here?” Christen asks, gently poking Tobin’s forehead with her finger.

“It’s good, really good!” Tobin speaks without even hesitating, “I’m just relieved that you’re fine and now that you’ve fully recovered I feel like I can push it out of my mind more. It terrified me and was a lot to take in, but I feel like everything is finally starting to get back to normal now.” 

“What about you? I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you, babe.” Tobin wonders, knowing that Christen was very emotional and mentally unstable after the crash and everything with her parents. One of the nurses at the hospital suggested that she could get a therapist in, so she could speak to a professional about everything that’s been on her mind, but Christen just took the contact details and politely turned the offer down for now. She knew that many people had it worse and she’d turn to that if it felt necessary - but it didn’t for now.

She had Tobin and in moments like that she’d never been more thankful for how open their relationship is and how good they are in communicating. Christen never once doubted that she could talk to Tobin about any of this - so she did. They sat at home together for hours, discussing Christen’s feelings about the whole situation and Tobin listened to her, offering input when it was right but staying silent when it wasn’t needed. 

In return, Tobin also told Christen how she felt and what had happened the night of the crash. It was a lot to take in, but they worked through it together. And that made them even stronger as a couple.

“I’m good, I promise.” Christen speaks up, “It’s refreshing to just get away for a while and travel to see your family. Cole, Kayden and Ellie help a lot too - just being around kids and seeing how carefree they are makes me relax a lot.” 

“You help too, more than you’ll ever know.” She tilts her head towards Tobin, squeezing her hand from where their fingers are intertwined. “Thank you for everything, baby. You’re my rock, you’ve held me up so many times and you’re constantly there supporting me. I couldn’t have got through  _ all  _ of it without you.”

Tobin shakes her head, “You really don’t give yourself enough credit, Chris! You’re the strongest person I know.” She adjusts the way they’re sitting so she can hold Christen. “You’ve helped me so much through all of this too. I couldn’t stand the thought of you being hurt or alone and me not being able to help you. Please don’t ever scare me like that again.”

“I’ll try my best not to!” Christen chuckles, knowing that she couldn’t promise that but she’d try all the same. 

Tobin leaves a kiss on Christen’s temple, “Isn’t it crazy how far we’ve come. Just over a year ago we were still friends and terrified to admit our feelings to each other.” 

“It really is.” Christen agrees, “I’m so glad that you helped me push my fears aside and give us a try. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like if I never had the chance to love you like this.” 

“Me too. I wouldn’t change any of this for the world!” Tobin says easily, knowing she’d give up just about anything to keep Christen by her side. 

“Me neither.” Christen whispers, smiling at the sweet confessions they constantly make to each other. 

They stay a little longer, just enjoying some time alone - for the first time since they arrived here - and the peacefulness of the night. Tobin suggests that they head back after they both acknowledge how cold they’re getting, noticing that the time has gone by faster than they realized. 

As they pack up and stand again, Christen pulls Tobin into a tight hug. “Happy one year, baby. I love you!” 

“I love you too.” Tobin whispers in her ear, “Happy one year!” 

“Thank you for all of this,” Christen smiles as they make their way to the car, “It was really sweet of you.”

They don’t notice how cold they’ve gone until they walk back into Perry’s house fifteen minutes later. Tobin puts the bags into the kitchen, deciding she’d leave them there and sort them out in the morning. 

It was late by now, so Katie and her family had returned to the hotel, just like Cole and Kayden were already asleep. 

“Oh hello you two!” Jeff teases as he sees them walk out of the kitchen and towards the living room - where Jeff, Cindy, Perry and Taylor were spread across the two sofas. 

Perry turns her head towards them, “It’s like Tobin’s a teenager again and sneaking in after parties.”

Tobin rolls her eyes at her sister, looking over and seeing Christen shiver slightly. “Go have a warm shower and get changed, babe.” She suggests, sending her off with a kiss on the forehead.

“How was it?” Cindy asks once Christen disappears into the hallway, heading upstairs to shower in the en-suite bathroom attached to the guest room.

“Really nice.” Tobin smiles at her, clearly not giving away any more information. “I’m freezing though, so I’m getting changed too and then I’ll come back down.” 

Perry - never being one to miss an opportunity to tease one of her younger siblings - sees her opportunity and takes it. “You’re keeping my water bills down, I like it.” 

“Shut up, Perry!” She rolls her eyes, not being able to hide the blush creeping onto her face. Everyone else just starts laughing, not helping Tobin in trying not to turn red.

“I quite enjoy your embarrassment actually.” Perry points out, making it known that she wasn’t going to stop.

“You’re so not funny!” Tobin exclaims as she makes her way out of the room.

“Might be so,” Perry calls after her, “My water bills appreciate you though!”

She walks up the stairs, putting her clothes to the side and deciding she might as well join Christen - her family would tease her either way and it’s not like they’d  _ actually  _ know if she went to join Christen or not. 

Tobin ties her hair up first, not wanting to get it wet, and then makes her way into the bathroom. 

Christen laughs at her as she steps into the shower, “We’re not having sex right now!”

Tobin throws her hands up in defense at the fast statement, “Okay, okay! It would have been worth a try.” 

“Absolutely not whilst your family is downstairs.”

Christen, always being one for physical touch, still pulls Tobin into her for a tight hug. “Thank you for showing me that!” She speaks softly, “I had an amazing night.” 

They both stay under the warm stream of water for a little longer, waiting until their bodies finally feel warm again before stepping out and getting dressed into sweatpants and a hoodie. They walk into the kitchen on their way back downstairs, making hot chocolates to help them warm up and then joining everyone else again. 

Perry is still clearly on her high from getting Tobin to be embarrassed, figuring she’d just continue. “Nice hoodie, Tobs. I see you were Stanford’s number 23. That’s very interesting.” 

“You didn’t know that I went to Stanford?” Tobin asks with shock, figuring she’d just go along with it. Christen giggles at them as she sits down next to Tobin. 

“No way, really?” Perry’s jaw drops, clearly trying to prove to her sister that she was going to win whatever teasing battle they had going on. 

“Mhm,” Tobin nods with a serious facial expression, “I even played as a forward instead of midfield.” 

“Impressive!” Perry raises her eyebrows, sitting back and taking another sip of wine. 

“Hey, at least I have double the amount of clothes.” Tobin argues, not thinking that Perry would find a comeback for that.

“Well, at least I know which clothes are mine and which aren’t.” Perry states, making Tobin and Christen look at each other and chuckle. 

“We spent a good twenty minutes bickering about who a hoodie belongs to the other day, because we both wanted to wear it.” Christen explains with a laugh when everyone gives them a puzzled look. “I had to find a picture of me wearing it three years ago for Tobin to believe me.”

“That’s my point!” Perry says matter-of-factly.

“To be fair, we hadn’t had coffee yet.” Tobin points out, “Staying up too late to watch bad TV and still having to wake up early always leads to the most petty and stupid bickers.” 

“We just started laughing when we realized what we were arguing about.” Christen tells them with a chuckle.

She nods along to Tobin’s words, thinking they definitely had a few moments where this happened in the past. Although, most of the time their mornings go smoothly as they’re both too tired to be anything but soft with the other. They’ve had a number of random and pointless bickers since moving in together, but still haven’t had an argument that stood out. Usually, they are good at communicating before things become an issue or making sure to speak to the other when they have a problem with something. Since very early on in their relationship they’d always made it their goal to make communication key, something that they both went by on a daily basis. The fact that they weren’t just in a relationship, but also best friends, definitely made that easier for both of them. They were both very reserved people, but they’d never found a struggle in getting the courage to speak to the other about something. Instead, they just made it a silent agreement to always be patient and understanding with each other - not getting angry when either one of them were speaking their thoughts, and always making sure they communicated and explained fully to avoid misunderstandings along the way.

Hoping that Tobin finally got Perry to leave her alone, she sits further into the backrest and happily joins into the new conversation.

It doesn’t take Perry long to find another gap in the conversation though, quickly finding something new to tease Tobin about when Taylor brings up how frustrating and annoying it must have been for Christen to not be able to walk properly for the past few months.

“Must have been annoying for both of your sex lifes too.” Perry mumbles, making Christen choke on her drink and burst out laughing. 

Jeff looks at her slightly horrified, not particularly wanting to go into this topic with his children. “Alright, too much information!”

He obviously didn’t believe that his youngest daughter doesn’t have sex, but it’s a thought he’d rather not actively think or hear about in detail. 

“I think she’s forgetting that she’s straight and we’re not.” Tobin says as she leans over to Christen, whispering quietly in her ear. “Pretty sure your fingers and tongue weren’t broken.”

Christen’s eyes go wide as she lighty slaps Tobin on the arm. “Tobin!” She knows that Tobin spoke quiet enough for no one to overhear what she said, but she’d rather not have a conversation like that in front of her girlfriend’s family. She was silently hoping that they all missed her reaction to Tobin’s words, but judging by the look Perry and Taylor were currently giving her - they didn’t.

“What?” Tobin says innocently, shrugging with a smirk. 

Christen shakes her head, “You know exactly  _ what. _ ” When she looks over to her again, she just knows that Tobin will slowly be getting tempted to join in on the teasing and god forbid she takes it  _ that  _ far. Christen doesn’t think she’d ever recover from embarrassment if she would. 

“Don’t.” She warns, giving her a stern look. “We’ve already had that topic come up one too many times at work.” 

“Ooo, is that the look Tobin gets when she’s in trouble?” Perry laughs, loving this situation too much.

Tobin facepalms herself, silently praying for the ground to swallow her up and make her disappear. “How many glasses of wine has she had?” She looks between her parents and Taylor, “Because I might kill her soon.” 

She decides to ignore Perry, getting back to Christen’s statement instead. “And that’s your fault because you were the one telling Alex and Julie to tell you if they were planning on getting pregnant over summer break.”

Cindy and Taylor, who’d been silently listening to the conversation, both start chuckling even harder at this. 

“I was only joking.” Christen laughs, thinking about it again. “I need to know who to expect for planning the teaching schedule though, so you know, they can tell me in a  _ friend  _ way so I can be happy for them but also use it in a  _ boss _ way?!”

“Well if it’s a  _ work _ thing, then clearly I should be included in this survey. What if I happen to be pregnant?” Tobin points out, trying to keep a straight face.

Cindy starts choking on her sip of wine, not being able to contain her laughter anymore. 

“You’re so funny, Tobs. It’s unbelievable.” Christen says, patting Tobin’s shoulder playfully. “At least you made an effort to think of a new joke and didn’t use your go-to line this time.” 

“Thank you!” Tobin says genuinely.

Perry shrugs, with a laugh. “That’s a good point though, dad.” She looks over at her father, remembering him trying to put a stop to this which clearly didn’t work in his favor. “At least you don’t have to worry about them having any unplanned pregnancies.” 

Christen just laughs at Tobin’s face, clearly seeing how uncomfortable she now feels. Cindy sees this too, deciding it won’t hurt to add her own input to the conversation too. 

“We still have you and Katie though  _ and  _ you’re both married to men, so…” Cindy points out, earning a  _ what's that supposed to mean  _ from Taylor at the tone she used.

“Wait, what’s Tobin’s go-to joke? I have to hear this now that you mentioned it!” Perry demands, clearly trying to take the focus away from her again.

Christen chuckles, “Let’s not even go there. It’s  _ terrible  _ and you’ll regret ever hearing it _. _ ” 

\-------

“Good morning, beautiful.” Tobin whispers as she leaves a kiss on Christen’s shoulder. 

Christen turns herself in Tobin’s arms so they’re facing each other, giving her a soft kiss. “Morning, baby.” 

“I feel like it’s a special day today.” Tobin hums quietly, rolling onto her back so Christen’s lying on top of her and hugging her tightly. 

Christen rests her head in Tobin’s neck, leaving a few pecks there before replying to Tobin. “Oh yeah?”

“Mhm,” She smiles when she feels Christen’s lips on her neck again - leaving a trail of innocent kisses that she definitely appreciates waking up to.

Tobin lets herself enjoy the feeling a little longer, before gently lifting Christen’s chin so they were eye-to-eye again. “Happy birthday! I love you.”

“Thanks, baby.” Christen smiles at her, “I love you too.” 

She lets Tobin brush a few curls out of her face, just getting lost in each other’s eyes for a long moment. Christen grins when she realizes that she’s still looking into Tobin’s eyes - something she could do for hours on end, getting lost in them every time.

“Anything special that you want to do today?” Tobin asks, breaking their staring contest. 

Christen shakes her head. “It’s just a birthday, Tobs.” 

Tobin pretends to be offended, playfully acting as if Christen had just upset her. “Nope, it’s not.” Tobin states, sternly shaking her head. “It’s  _ your  _ birthday, so that makes it a very special birthday!” 

Christen rolls her eyes with a smile, always hating attention on her birthday. “Spending time with you and the family sounds like the perfect day.” 

“Okay,” Tobin shrugs, knowing that Christen had a birthday surprise later anyway. “ _ But  _ we’re all going out for dinner tonight.”

Christen goes to argue, but is quickly cut off again by Tobin. “We’ve already made reservations at our favorite restaurant in the area so you can’t say no now!” 

She grins at Tobin, “Have I ever told you how amazing you are?”

They stay in bed for a little longer when they notice how early it is, alternating between deep and meaningful kisses which neither of them took any further, and just hugging the other close. Christen makes Tobin get up when she decides that she’s now desperate for coffee and can’t wait much longer.

Cindy is the only other person awake so far, greeting them in the kitchen as Christen settles on waiting for Perry to wake up for their morning yoga together. 

“Morning!” She chips happily, always being brightly awake in the early hours.

They both say their mornings and smile at her as Tobin offers to make them coffee. 

“Happy birthday, dear.” Cindy smiles, reaching out to hug Christen when she remembers what date it is.

“Thank you.” Christen blushes a little, already embarrassed at the attention. She leans back, resting against the counter and getting lost in thought. 

“I’m getting old.” She says suddenly, making both Cindy and Tobin laugh at her as she pulls a face. 

“You’ll be thirty before you know it!” Cindy remarks.

Christen looks up at her and grins, “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, I still have a few years until then.” 

Tobin kisses her cheek at the same time as placing the cup of coffee in Christen’s hands. “It’s okay, you’ll still be beautiful.” 

“Charming,” Cindy says as she raises her eyebrows, “That’s the way to go, Tobs.” 

Tobin laughs at her mother, reaching for her own steaming cup of coffee and taking a sip. 

Perry joins them a short while later - her and Christen going off to do their yoga together so they can both get dressed afterwards. 

When Christen steps out of the shower and goes to check her phone for the first time that day, she can’t help but chuckle at the messages she received. There was one from Tyler from the night before, and another from her grandmother, Kelley and Channing. 

**Tyler :** Happy birthday, sis! I had to be the first to say it, so I’m sending this before it’s midnight for you. You’re the best and I love you so much. Pls come see Will and I when you’re back home.

**Channing :** HAPPY BIRTHDAY. You’re getting so old, Chris! I wish I could see you today, but have the best birthday and I’ll see again soon. I hope Tobin spoils you lots today :)

**Grandfran :** Happy birthday, dear. Have a wonderful day and don’t forget how amazing you are. I love you, Chrissy!

**KO :** Happy birthday from your favorite friend! I can’t believe how old we’re both getting. I have a good feeling that this is going to be your best year yet (obviously since you’re friends with me). Don’t celebrate too hard without me and make sure Tobito spoils you rotten. Love you, C! 

She sends them all a sweet message back, getting dressed into some cozy clothes for now. They still had hours until they were going for their meal, so she didn’t want to be stuck in jeans all day. 

Christen makes her way back downstairs, wanting to see if she could help Perry with making lunch. All of the sudden, she’s startled by confetti being thrown at her. 

An echo of “Happy Birthday” rings through the room, surprising an unsuspecting Christen. She smiles brightly when she sees the whole family standing there with confetti poppers in their hands. 

“ _ You guys!”  _ Christen says with a shy smile as she hears Cole singing happy birthday. She picks him up, spinning him around and making him laugh before letting him down again. 

Katie and her family must have arrived at the house whilst Christen took her shower, noticing that they were now also here. She’d told Tobin many times that they wouldn’t even have to acknowledge the fact that it was her birthday, but as stubborn as ever, Tobin insisted that she’d never do such a thing no matter how many times Christen tells her to. 

She walks around, hugging all of them and gushing about how sweet they were and that none of this was necessary. Christen should have known that Tobin would tell them all it’s her birthday, seeing that they all have small presents for her. 

She’s surprised once again at how well they all already know her when she sees how meaningful each present was - perfectly matching Christen’s personality. They all proudly brag about the fact that they refused to have Tobin help them, happy to know that she loved all of the presents. 

If she hadn’t felt overwhelmed with love prior to this - she definitely was now. 

Tobin hands Christen her presents last, making Christen give her a questioning look. “I’m pretty sure we had a deal.” 

“I don’t know what you’re on about!” Tobin says, acting clueless. 

“I think you do!” Christen chuckles, “...When we went to pick up my car.” 

“Oh,  _ that. _ ” Tobin says, failing to hide her terrible attempt at staying clueless. “As if I was ever going to stick to it.” 

Christen shakes her head, knowing very well that she should have expected his all along. 

She opens the small gift bag, seeing a light blue polaroid that she’s wanted to get herself for years and another small box. Inside the box is a silver necklace with an infinity charm at the end of it. 

It was subtle - not too big but not too small either. It was decorated with a row of three little crystal stones that added a small touch to it, but didn’t make it too sparkly. Right away, it reminds her of the words that Tobin and Christen constantly use to reassure each other, and she knows that Tobin was thinking of them too when she picked this.  _ You and me, forever.  _ On the back of it, it has their anniversary date engraved in small numbers - something that could only be seen if someone had the necklace in their hand and was looking carefully enough.

Along with the presents, there was a custom-made card. The front of it had a small picture collage of Tobin and Christen. Inside, the card read :

_ To Christen, _

_ Happy birthday, babe! _

_ You make the world a better place, and me and everyone else around you a better person - every single day, just through your presence. You’re incredible, so selfless, the strongest woman I know and the most beautiful person inside and out.  _

_ Your smile could light up the whole world and your eyes still knock me out every time. You inspire me in every way from the way you always live in the moment and love the people closest to you, to the way you always give everything your all and aren’t afraid to stand up for what’s right.  _

_ Thank you for always being down to dance in the kitchen, walk along the beach, shove each other into the water, cuddle up on the couch, go surfing, sing at the top of our lungs in the car, play a round of (way too competitive) soccer, watch sunsets together and just spend time with me. You taught me how to love in ways I never thought were possible. _

_ I knew from the day I met you that you were special, but how compassionate, caring and kind you are still amazes me every day. Since that day, you’ve not only shown me what true love looks like but also taught me how to live life to the fullest and treasure every moment. You’re just an amazing human being and I can’t believe I’m the one that gets to call you mine. _

_ Everyday I fall more in love with you (even when you’re annoying me) and I love doing life with you. It’s pretty great when you get to share it with your favorite person. _

_ You make me so proud - in your job, in life, and with all of the struggles you’ve faced along the way. I feel so blessed to have you by my side through everything life throws at us and I hope that never changes. _

_ So, my best friend, girlfriend, the light of my life, and my person - here’s to you and the many more birthdays to come. One day a year will never be enough to celebrate how special you are, but we can try.  _

_ Never change!  _ _  
_ _ I love you more than you’ll ever know. _

_ Tobin x _

By the time Christen finished reading through the card, she had tears in her eyes that were threatening to spill. She blinks, trying to push them back but they run down her cheek instead. 

Tobin is quick to catch them with her thumb and wipes them away. 

“I love you!” Christen chokes out, kissing Tobin’s lips and wiping her eyes again. 

“I feel like we should have got you to read that out loud.” Katie smiles as she watches Christen trying to keep her emotions at bay. 

Christen shakes her head with a laugh, “No can do, sorry.” 

They all wish her a happy birthday again, Cindy demanding that they all take a group picture before leaving them all to do their own thing again. When everyone else is distracted, Christen shuffles closer to Tobin pulling her in tightly. 

“Thank you!” She whispers and Tobin knows that she isn’t just talking about the card or presents. “Will you put this on me, please?” Christen requests, giving the necklace to Tobin and turning around. 

“Come here.” Tobin says after putting the necklace on and moving to sit on the couch. She pats the space next to her, pulling Christen in after stretching her legs out on the couch. 

When Ellie and Katie join them on the other end of the couch, they all find themselves watching a Christmas movie. It took ten minutes and a group debate to decide whether it was still appropriate to watch Christmas movies, but Perry, Tobin, James and Christen all insisted that you could watch them all year round. 

Tobin can’t help but laugh when Christen falls asleep within the first twenty minutes of the movie, happily curling into Tobin and taking a nap. They still had a few hours before they were leaving and Tobin figured they’d end up having a late night, so she might as well let Christen sleep. 

When Tobin adjusts the way she’s sitting slightly, just to make it more comfortable for Christen, the younger girl moves even closer into Tobin. 

Christen had never really been one for physical touch, always showing love in a different way. That was until she met Tobin. Now, she’s constantly craving Tobin’s touch and the comfort it provides. For her, there’s no safer feeling in the world than lying in Tobin’s arms.

She gently stirs her awake again once the credits start rolling on the screen, knowing Christen will want to get ready soon if she’s planning on straightening her hair. 

Christen starts getting ready, wearing black skinny jeans and one of the nice tops she brought with her. They were going to an Italian restaurant that wasn’t overly fancy, but she still wanted to make an effort and look nice. 

As she’s straightening her hair, she can’t help but smile at the reflection of the necklace - looking down at it and running her fingers over it again. 

Tobin, always being one to get ready in ten minutes and still look great, walks into the room when Christen’s on the final touches of her makeup. She wraps her arms around her shoulders from behind, “You’re beautiful.” 

Christen smiles, leaning into Tobin. “Your sweats are hot!” She jokes, seeing that Tobin is still in the same outfit as earlier. 

“Aren’t they just?” Tobin laughs, looking down at the sweatpants she’s been living in for the past two days. 

“I’m joking,” Christen continues, “You always look good.”

Tobin raises an eyebrow, challenging Christen’s statement. “Even in sweats?” 

Christen stands up and links her hands together behind Tobin’s neck, “Even in sweats!” 

“You know, seeing as it’s your birthday, I think we might have to review your  _ no sex at Perry’s  _ rule.” Tobin whispers in Christen’s ear.

“I think that can be arranged.” Christen replied easily, knowing very well she was never going to be strong enough to keep her rule up anyway. 

Tobin gives her a surprised look, not having expected Christen to agree so easily. “Alright, you need to get ready.” Christen urges, giving her a peck whilst trying not to ruin the lip gloss she’d just applied. 

“What’s the plan?” She asks, sitting down on the bed and scrolling through her phone whilst she waits for Tobin. 

“Um, we’re going to get an uber to Katie’s hotel and then we’ll probably just walk from there.” Tobin explains, having arranged these plans with the rest of the family when Christen conveniently went upstairs. 

Christen hums, acknowledging Tobin’s plan as she continues to look through Instagram.

**Incoming FaceTime Call :** KO

“Kelley is trying to call me!” Christen says before answering the call. 

“Hey, Kel.” She waves. 

Kelley immediately starts singing ‘Happy Birthday’, pulling someone else into the screen half way through. Christen sees Kelley’s mother’s head squish onto the screen too, Karen joining in. She shakes her head at both of them, laughing when Tobin gives her a funny look from the bathroom at the extremely off-pitch singing. 

“Hi, Christen!” Karen smiles happily, waving at her. 

“Karen, how are you?” 

She stays on the call with Kelley for a little longer, introducing Tobin to Karen over the phone and explaining to both of them what their plans have been throughout their stay. In return, Christen asks Kelley about her time in Georgia and when she’s flying back to LA again. 

By the time they hung up and said their goodbyes, Tobin was ready to go and putting on her shoes. 

“See,” Christen starts as she moves towards the bedroom door, “I told you you always look good!” 

Tobin grins, pulling Christen out of the door so they could wait for everyone else downstairs. Within ten minutes, they were in the uber and on the way to Katie’s hotel, which was a short five minute walk from the restaurant. 

They walk into the hotel lobby, seeing James stand by the entrance already. “Katie forgot something, she’ll be down in a moment.” He explains as they approach, standing to the side so they’re out of the way.    
  
When Katie comes down a moment later with Ellie in her arms, she’s accompanied by two other people. Christen looks over in confusion as her head whips over to Tobin who simply smirks at her. 

“Happy birthday, you!” Sarah laughs at Christen’s face when she’s close enough, opening her arms to give her a hug. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be in Seattle?” Christen asks as she hugs Jeffrey too. 

Jeffrey laughs at her shocked face, still trying to register that they were there. “Come on now, as if we could miss your birthday!”

Christen shakes her head, trying to figure out what was going as they went around and hugged everyone else too. Whilst she was too busy following their path with her eyes, she missed Tobin pulling out her phone and typing a quick text out. 

“We obviously wanted to be here for your birthday." Sarah explains.

“Actually, someone else did too.” Tobin says, turning her head to look around the lobby. Christen looks at her with scrunched eyebrows, not knowing who else could possibly turn up for her birthday. 

She follows Tobin’s eyes, looking in the same direction as her. Her jaw drops when she registers the small group walking towards them. “No way!” 

“Hello to you too.” Grandfran laughs as she pulls Christen into a hug. 

“What are you doing here?” Christen asks with tears in her eyes, pulling her grandmother in again. 

They pull apart and Christen moves to give Channing a hug. “What the heck! I’m so confused.” 

Channing chuckles, “I’m pretty sure it’s someone’s birthday today, so…” 

“Hey!” Christen greets as she hugs Mikel and then Will. 

She gets to Tyler last, pulling her in tightly. “When did you guys plan this?” 

Tyler pulls her in just as tight, “I wish I could take credit for this, but it was all Tobin’s idea.” 

“I’m so-, I-, What-?” Christen murmurs, feeling completely overwhelmed. 

Tyler laughs at her slurred words, “We’re here for new year’s too, so I hope you’re ready to put up with us all.” 

Christen shakes her head, coming to her senses and moving to introduce everyone. 

“Well,” She laughs, realizing the amount of people there are too introduce, “This is my sister, Tyler, and her husband, Will; my other sister, Channing, and her husband, Mikel; and this my grandma, Fran.” 

She points over to Tobin’s family, all of them laughing as she tries to figure out where to start. “This is Tobin’s parents, Cindy and Jeff; her brother, Jeffrey, and his girlfriend, Sarah; Tobin’s sister, Perry, her husband, Taylor, and their sons, Kayden and Cole; and this is Tobin’s other sister, Katie, her husband, James, and their daughter, Ellie.” 

They all greet each other with hugs, acting familiar right away. Will and Perry recognize each other from Jeffrey’s game the previous year, and Tobin hugs them all warmly, thanking them for coming. 

Cindy suggests that they start walking towards the restaurant when she checks the time, seeing they didn’t have long left. Christen stalls for a moment so she can find Tobin again, jogging a few steps to catch up with her and intertwine their fingers. She squeezes her hand tightly, trying to innocently show Tobin how grateful she was for her. 

“I don’t deserve you!” Christen says as she kisses Tobin’s cheek. 

Tobin looks over at her, “You deserve the world.”

The meal is anything but awkward, all of them getting into conversations right away as if they’d known each other for years instead of minutes. Christen was overwhelmed the whole time, seeing how easily Tobin’s family welcomed hers into their own - just like they’d done with her for the past year. 

Tobin must have sensed this, placing a hand on Christen’s thigh and keeping it there for the remainder of the meal. The long table made it difficult for everyone to get to know all of Christen’s family and vice versa, leading to Perry inviting everyone over to hers for drinks. 

“I think we’ll have to head back to the hotel right away, Ellie’s been tired today.” Katie groans, wanting to do what’s best for her daughter but wanting to go with everyone else all the same. 

“You can let her sleep in mine and Tobin’s room until you guys go if you want?” Christen offers, being able to read right through Katie’s internal debate. 

Katie happily agrees, ensuring again that it would be alright with them. Before they leave the restaurant, they all get the waiter to take a group photo, which makes its way onto Christen’s instagram later that night with the caption :

_ I have the best family ❤️ _

They make it back home to Perry’s and all scatter across the living room, opening the bottles of wine Christen received earlier. They all share random stories, taking the chance to get to know each other better. 

Perry makes sure to share some of Tobin’s most embarrassing College stories, which quickly backfires when Tobin gets payback and does the same. 

“Christen’s highlight of junior year was mom trying to set her up with her neighbor's son for the millionth time.” Channing laughs, watching Christen roll her eyes and groan. 

“I wish I could say that was a junior thing, but that was still a thing the last time I had a full conversation with her.” 

“It was so funny!” Mikel laughs, remembering Christen’s face every time he was brought up.

“Maybe for you.” She exclaims, “It definitely wasn’t for me. She brought him up in  _ every single conversation _ ! I’ve never even met him. _ ” _

“Exactly,” Mikel continues, “You were so uninterested in even finding out his name that it was hilarious for everyone else.” 

“Christen was massively against dating anyway, so I don’t know why Stacy bothered trying.” Will laughs, thinking back to the multiple discussions they had about the neighbors. 

“That’s so true, oh my gosh!” Channing remembers, seemingly having forgotten it after being so used to having Tobin around now. “How did you manage to crack that shell, Tobin?” 

Tobin shrugs with a laugh, knowing that Christen’s past relationship had left some wounds and vulnerabilities behind that stopped her from dating anyone. “That was all Christen, she made the first move.” 

“Well, it was more Kelley than either of us to be fair.” Christen chuckles, recalling that she’d probably made a move a lot later if it wasn’t for Kelley trying to reassure her that Tobin likes her back.

“Oh speaking of Stacy, did we ever tell you what Fran did at Chan’s wedding?” Will questions suddenly, recalling the story in his head with a chuckle. 

“Ehm, no?” Christen tilts her head. 

“What did I do?” Fran questions at the mention of her name, not knowing what Will was about to bring up.

“Tyler tells this story so much better!” He says, requesting for Tyler to take over. 

Tyler starts laughing, thinking about what happened. She contains herself, starting to recall the events. “So you know the morning after the wedding when I came to sit with you guys at breakfast and then Channing joined too.”

Tobin and Christen both nod, with everyone listening into the story as Fran catches onto where she’s going with this.

“Will came down too right after you both left and dad must have gone upstairs because he had a bit of a hangover, so mom actually came and sat with us.” 

“She apologized to Ty when she sat down!” Channing points out, still shocked at that. 

“Really?” Christen says with wide eyes. 

“Anyway,” Tyler continues, “Gran must have seen you both in the lobby because it was right after she met Tobin - although she told me about the conversation you had with her the night before.” 

Christen nods, waiting for her to continue.

“Gran just comes over, puts her food down and goes ‘I think I made a mistake being straight!’ with mom literally sitting right there.” Tyler continues as everyone starts laughing.

“That’s amazing!” Katie laughs.

“It gets even better,” Will says, nudging Tyler.

“Right, so once Will stopped choking on his food and managed to stop laughing he questions her on it and Gran sits there fully serious saying something about her being old but having eyes so she starts telling us that - in her words - Tobin’s  _ charming  _ and  _ hot.”  _ Tyler laughs. 

“Then she starts asking me a million questions about you, so I just told her everything I knew and Stacy sat there in silence the whole time.” 

They all start laughing again. “Did she seriously not say a word but still stay?” Christen questions.

“She asked about you two living together when I asked when Tobin moved in with you, but that’s it.” Fran explains.

“She knows we live together?” Christen’s eyes go wide, “So she knew that already and still didn’t tell them about Tobin after the crash?”

Tobin squeezes Christen’s thigh, trying to comfort her when she sees her get frustrated and angry. It boils Christen’s blood to think that her own mother knew that someone was waiting for her to get home, but still didn’t think to call Tobin. She moves her own hand to lace her fingers with Tobin, making sure that she’s staying calm and not letting someone who wasn’t even here impact her mood today.

“I remember like all of the crash - before I went unconscious - and then waking up with them both there, but I obviously didn’t register why they were there or anything. I think I briefly asked about Tobin but then fell asleep again and next thing I knew was Tyler was yelling at them both before telling them to get out _. _ ” Christen recalls.

Tyler winces at how disrespectful that sounded, “Not one of my finest moments, but they deserved it.” 

“It’s fine!” Channing waves her off, “I put them both into their place a few days later anyway, so you can either expect them to apologize or probably never speak to any of us again.”

Fran mumbles something about her making sure that they’ll apologize one day, but only Cindy and Christen seem to catch it. 

By the time everyone leaves to go back to the hotel, they’re all tired and had one too many drinks. Tobin offers to get them both a glass of water so Christen can already head upstairs and take her makeup off. 

As soon as Tobin shuts the door behind her and walks into the bathroom to find Christen, she’s pinned against the sink with soft lips meeting hers. 

Tobin’s mind quickly catches on to her actions, nudging Christen’s thighs so she’d let Tobin carry her. As she gently places her down on the bed, Christen pulls away for a second. 

“You better be quiet.” She warns, because she doesn’t think she’d ever recover from embarrassment if anyone heard them. 

“We’re fine, we’re on the other side of the house.” Tobin moves her focus to Christen’s neck, “But I will, and you better be quiet too.” 

Three orgasms later, they’re both lying in bed wrapped up in each other’s arms. 

“Thank you for making today so special!” Christen hums quietly, “I can’t believe you had Jeffrey, Sarah and my family fly out - that’s crazy, Tobs.” 

“It didn’t take any convincing, trust me.” Tobin kisses Christen’s lips, “Turns out I’m not the only person that loves you. I feel like that should upset me, but I know how amazing you are so I guess I’ll put up with it.” 

“Well, I love you the most.” Christen grins, “I loved my presents and card too. I would have definitely started ugly crying at the card if we would have been by ourselves.”

“You’re such a sap.” Tobin teases. 

“I’m really glad you liked it though.” She runs her fingers over the necklace that’s resting on Christen’s collarbone. 

“It’s beautiful.” Christen confirms, looking at it for the nth time with a smile. “This is going to be just like the ring, I’m never going to take it off!” 

Tobin kisses her cheek and pulls Christen into her, “I love you, babe.” 

“I love you too!” 

And if Tobin is picturing another ring on Christen’s hand as they fall asleep, the younger girl doesn’t have to know - at least not  _ yet _ .   
  
\-------   
  
Over the next few days, Christen’s family would meet the rest of the family at Perry’s house every morning - spending the day together before going their separate ways again for the night. 

Perry had invited Channing to join her and Christen for their yoga sessions, seeing it as a chance to get to know Christen’s younger sister better and learn something about meditation too. 

The new year was approaching quickly, and they’d all been stocking up on the champagne in preparation. 

“I can’t believe how much happened this year.” Tobin sighs as she sits on the couch with Katie. “Where did the time go? I feel like it was January and I was introducing you guys to Chris one minute, and the next it’s like I introduced you guys years ago and it’s Christmas again.”

“Time does go pretty fast, huh?” Her older sister asks, thinking about how much had happened for all of them. “Jeffrey got his 100th cap, I got the promotion, we met Christen, you guys moved in together, the little ones are growing up so fast, Taylor got a new job - I think the only people where everything’s stayed the same with is mom and dad. They’re both still living their best lives in Florida with nowhere to be than the beach.” 

Tobin chuckles, knowing how true that was. “I aspire to have their level of chill in my retired life.”

“Oh, yeah?” Katie asks, to which Tobin nods. “Totally. The beach, warm weather, having lived life to the fullest and still doing that, spending time with family.” 

“Anyone else you want to have there?” Katie smirks, raising her eyebrows as if she even had to question that. 

“I guess a dog wouldn’t sound too bad.” Tobin jokes, making Katie laugh. “No, I’m joking! Having a certain person there might be in my plans too.”

Katie smiles softly at her. She expected this sort of response, but seeing Tobin’s grin with it definitely made it better. 

“What can I expect on that end then?” Katie questions, genuinely wanting to know. “Have you guys ever discussed this kind of stuff before?” 

“That’s a surprise - you’ll just have to wait.” Tobin jokes, watching the disappointment in her sister’s face. 

“Tobs,” Katie whines, “I actually want to know. This is me being a good sister and taking interest in your relationship.”

“Oh, so it’s just sister duties?” Tobin teases her, “Well that changes everything!”

“So?” Katie asks hopefully, not having a clue what Tobin’s recent statement meant. 

“Yeah, it’s definitely just a fling. I’ll probably just take all her money and buy this amazing house in some expensive neighborhood, and then I might just hook myself up with a few dating apps to find a rich man that I can marry.” Tobin explains, keeping a serious facial expression the whole time.

“You’re an idiot.” Katie shoves her to the side, “I’ve seen the way you look at Chris so you couldn’t even convince me if you tried. Plus a rich man - really, Tobs? Out of all the people on this earth, gay Tobin would go looking for a rich man.” She shakes her head with disappointment, “You could have made it way more convincing.” 

“I clearly didn’t think that part through enough.” Tobin laughs, dropping her head to rest in on the backrest. 

“I do want all of the exclusive sister content though!” Katie tries again, speaking in a lighter tone this time. “I feel like I know Christen so well now and I absolutely love her, but I want to know some stuff from you too.” 

She nudges Tobin’s shoulder with her own, “Tell me the kind of stuff that you wouldn’t tell mom or dad.” 

“Okay!” Tobin grins, rolling her eyes to act annoyed. “We’ve obviously spoken about the future quite a few times, we wouldn’t live together if we hadn’t, but it’s becoming so much clearer for me at the moment. I just-, I can see it all with her. I want to marry her and that’s something that I’m so sure of now. I can’t imagine my life without anyone else by my side.”

Katie squeals when she finally gets the response she’d been after the whole time. “I don’t think there’s anyone out there that’s more perfect for you. You guys just work and it’s so nice to see how much you love each other.” 

Tobin smiles at Katie’s answer, always feeling content when she gets her family’s approval even if she never expected anything else. 

“We’ve spoken about marriage a few times and the prospect of getting married to each other. That was a while ago now, but I definitely want to propose to her at some point. She’s the love of my life and she knows that, so one day when everything is a bit clearer and we’re both ready, she might agree to marry me.” 

Katie reaches out and squeezes Tobin’s hand, “I’ll be cheering the loudest when that day comes.”

“You totally would!” Tobin laughs, knowing first hand how excited and loud Katie can get when she’s partying or just loving life.

“Do you think you’ll have kids one day?” Katie pushes, trying to test the waters and see how far Tobin would let her go. “She’s great with mine and Per’s little ones and they all adore her!”

“Yeah, I think so.” Tobin nods, “I know that she definitely wants kids, and so do I. I’d obviously want to be married and everything first, but I would love to have kids with her.”

Katie laughs, “You’d have little mini Tobin’s or mini Christen’s running around the house.” 

She shuffles closer to Tobin, smirking as she leans in closer, acting as if someone else was around to hear their conversation. 

“How’s she in bed?” Katie whispers in a loud voice, giggling when she sees Tobin’s unexpecting face. 

Tobin smacks her arm, “I’m not sharing anything like that with you!”

“Oh, so not good?” Katie teases, knowing exactly how to get Tobin to answer her.

Tobin’s eyes go wide, “I never said that!” 

“So not bad?” Katie questions.

“Nope, definitely not bad.” Tobin looks at her with a grin that’s telling enough. 

Katie nods with a smile, “Gotcha!” 

Seeing Ellie, Kayden and Cole warm up to her sisters and brother-in-laws was something Christen loved watching. Throughout the day she’d seen them slowly start to naturally interact with Christen’s family and not shy away anymore unless Christen or Tobin were with them. 

She wasn’t used to seeing the side of them, as they’d all been confident and themselves with her from the beginning. It warmed her heart to think that they felt safe enough to do this freely without having to be forced by anyone else. 

Meeting strangers was always terrifying as a child, especially when there’s a group of them suddenly in your home all day, but by the end of the second day they’d started to ask them to play and allowed them to interact. 

Ellie, always being the shier one out of the three, still had moments where she seeked for her parents, Tobin or Christen when she was around them. 

Christen wanted them to feel comfortable though, so she made it her goal to constantly bring out the bubbly and always-cheery little girl she’d grown to love. 

She could tell from the day she met them that Tobin’s bond with her niece and nephews was the strongest out of all the family members. She didn’t know if it was just because of Tobin’s personality or also because Jeffrey was constantly travelling and Katie and Perry had to care about their own kids when they were together, but it made her so happy when she was let into that bond. It wasn’t just Auntie Toto anymore, even though Cole had now started calling Tobin _ Auntie Toby _ , which was just another sign of how much he was growing up. Now, it was always Auntie Toto and Auntie Chrissy - something that makes Christen’s heart melt every time. 

Seeing Tobin interact with them and loving them, just made her so much more excited for the future too. 

“I’m tired.” Cole mumbles into Christen’s chest, wrapping his little arms around her. She’d been sitting in the living room and talking to Will when Cole climbed onto her lap and settled there. 

Since he was getting older, Perry figured she’d let him stay up tonight and see how close he lasts until midnight. Taylor offered to take him earlier, but Christen insisted that he was fine where he was. 

“That’s okay. Just fall asleep if you’re too tired, or we can ask Mommy if she can take you to bed and tuck you in?” She asked kindly, knowing that he wasn’t going to stay awake much longer. 

“Hey, you.” Tobin smiles, sitting down next to Christen and rubbing Cole’s back. 

She stays there for a while, just talking to Tobin and occasionally Cole when his eyes stay open enough. 

“Chrissy?” He lifts his head, looking into her eyes. 

“Yeah?” Christen nods, wondering what was on his mind. 

“Can we find Mommy?” He requests, “I want to go to bed.” 

“Of course we can.” Christen turns him in her lap, so she can carry him easier. “Do you want another drink when I come back?” She asks Tobin, who stands up and says that she’ll just come with them. 

They find Perry, who says that she’ll take him to get changed and brush his teeth in a moment. 

“I can help him if you want and just get you once he’s ready?” Christen suggests when she sees that Perry is in the middle of a conversation with Tyler, not wanting to overstep but giving Perry the option. 

“Is that okay with you, buddy?” Perry asks her son, who nods into Christen’s shoulder. He picks his head up when he spots Tobin on the other side of Christen, “Can Toby come too?” 

“I’m sure she can.” Christen nods, looking over at Tobin for confirmation. 

They help him get ready for bed together, watching him get more tired with every minute. 

“Please will you tuck me in too?” He requests, looking between both of them. Tobin gets him into bed as he asks if one of them could read him a story. They look at each other and chuckle, knowing that he’s unlikely to stay awake for more than a page, but giving in anyway. 

Christen and Tobin both squish into his twin bed, Tobin reading out of the book he picked out. 

Just like they suspected, he falls asleep within the first few pages. 

“He’s already asleep.” Christen chuckles to Perry when they come back down, “We told him you’d say good night to him though.” 

Perry nods, squeezing her arm gently. “Thank you. I’ll check on him and turn his nightlight on now.” 

She thanks Tobin too when they pass each other in the hallway. 

“It’s nearly midnight,” Tobin exclaims, wrapping her arm around Christen’s waist. “I think we should get some drinks ready.” 

Christen follows Tobin into the kitchen, both getting a glass of champagne and walking back into the living room to join everyone else. 

“How many kids do you think you want one day?” Christen asks Tobin when they both rest against the wall in the corner of the room. 

Tobin wants to laugh when she realizes that her and Christen must have been having the same thoughts. 

“I’ve never really had a set number, I’ve just always known that I want kids.” Tobin starts, “But I think maybe three?” 

Christen nods, “Three’s a good number.” 

“What about you?” Tobin asks curiously, now wanting to know Christen’s thoughts too. 

“I’m the same, but I definitely want at least two.” Christen explains, “Maybe three or four.”  Tobin smiles and leans into Christen. 

“Do you think you’d want kids with me?” Tobin asks almost shyly, wanting to confirm that they’re on the same page. She’s never doubted Christen’s feelings for her, but they hadn’t discussed this topic in  _ this  _ much detail before. 

The look Christen gives her would be covered in disbelief if it wasn’t for the softness mixed into it, “ _ Of course  _ I want kids with you, baby. I can’t imagine my life with anyone else.” 

Tobin smiles contently, kissing Christen and checking the time. 

They all start counting down at ten seconds, Tobin pulling Christen a little further into the room so they could see the countdown too. 

_ Five _

_ Four _

_ Three _

_ Two _

_ One _

Tobin pulls Christen in, giving her a lasting kiss. 

“I’m so lucky to spend another year with you!” Christen says as she pulls Tobin closer. 

“Here’s to many more.” Tobin says, raising her glass.

Christen does the same, “To many more.”

Tobin pecks her lips, “I’m so in love with you!”

“I’m so in love with you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no clue where the 18k+ words in this chapter came from either lol.  
> -  
> With everything going on atm, I've already said and posted quite a bit on my Tumblr and personal Instagram (I've also donated and signed petitions too). However, I just wanted to say a few things on here too :
> 
> Please, please, please education yourselves!
> 
> This isn't just a problem in the USA. It's a worldwide problem, so next time someone says 'this isn't my problem' or 'I'm glad I don't live in America' - It does not matter where you live. 
> 
> Racism is everywhere. It shouldn't be, but it is. So educate yourself. 
> 
> Make research, find out about ways to help in your country or others, sign petitions, donate, protest (safely), SPEAK UP. 
> 
> Black lives matter. 
> 
> So use your power and voice, do anything you can. to help win the war of getting rid of racism. Protests aren't people trying to star conflict or wars, it's people trying to put an end to it and create equality. 
> 
> One term I've been very against during all of this is 'All lives matter'. It can be viewed in so many different ways, but for me personally, ALL lives will matter once black lives matter. This would have never happened to a white person. 
> 
> Black people and people of color deserve to be treated the same as white people. They deserve the same opportunities, treatment and respect. No one should ever have to feel ashamed, scared or suffer because of their skin color.
> 
> Help create a change!
> 
> There's so many cases all over the world where black people are murdered or have life-changing injuries for no reason. This can happen to them for committing a crime that white people probably joke about at parties, or not even committing a crime in first place. 
> 
> What about those two college students that were recently pepper sprayed after being dragged out the car whilst they were simply driving home? They did nothing wrong and shouldn't be treated like this. 
> 
> If black people are murdered for these kinds of things, then shouldn't white people get the same treatment?
> 
> Your skin color doesn't make you any less or more valid. It shouldn't change the way people view you.
> 
> So white people, please use your privileges and voice and do what's right. You have these sort of opportunities, people of color do not. 
> 
> I'm white, so I'll never know what poc go through but I will do anything I can to support them and make things right by encouraging equality. 
> 
> Don't stay silent. Saying nothing says so much about your opinion on this. 
> 
> It shouldn't be this way. Poc shouldn't have to fear for their lives whilst driving, walking the streets, reading in a car, waiting to pick someone up, sitting in their own garden or any other reason. 
> 
> We must encourage equality! Could you imagine any of this ever happening to a white person? No - because it never would. But it shouldn't be happening to black people either. THAT is racism. 
> 
> Black lives matter! They matter to me and they should matter to everyone else too, so please just do what you can.  
> -  
> If you read all of that, thank you. Thank you for all of the continuous support with this storyline too, I love seeing all of the comments and opinions on the chapters!!! Stay safe :)  
> -  
> Tumblr : PressPack


	20. I Want It All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imagine having everything,  
> We ever dreamed.

Christmas and New Year's Eve had come and gone, just like their time with the family.

Despite feeling slightly upset when leaving New Jersey and the family behind, they’re happy to be going home and preparing to fall back into normality. 

Christen didn’t have any work to do or go over, since she’d done all of that from home already over the previous months, but she was excited to be going back into school soon. 

They were still happy to have another ten days off though, which would give them a chance to relax a little more.

After New Year’s, they’d all left New Jersey on the same day, the Press family hopping on the same flight as Christen and Tobin. Cindy and Jeff were coming along for a week too, staying with the couple until they could watch Jeffrey play his first game of the year. 

It was slowly becoming a bit of a tradition for Cindy and Jeff to fly out and stay with them whenever Jeffrey was playing in Los Angeles. It gave them a chance to spend some quality time together and have the rare opportunity to see their son play live. The rest of the family would come too and book a room at a local hotel if they could, but more often than not it would only be Jeff and Cindy. They were all busy with childcare and their jobs, so they usually saved their personal holidays at work for bigger tournaments, family occasions or vacations throughout the year. 

Tobin and Christen love being around family and having them stay at their place. Whilst they appreciated the time they got to spend all together, they definitely didn’t complain when it was back to just the two of them again. They always loved going back to their peaceful house that was constantly filled with teasing, love and laughter - especially when their friends came around for drinks or to just hang out for a few hours after work. 

Now that they were back under the Californian sun, Christen was back to dragging Tobin out for runs. She knew it would die down once they went back to work, so she was aiming to make the most of it whilst they still could. 

“You know you want to!” Christen insists with a pleading look. 

“I’m pretty sure that I  _ don’t  _ want to.” Tobin replies, watching Jeff double over with laughter at Christen trying to get Tobin out for a run instead of her girlfriend’s original plan of making pancakes for everyone. 

“You do!” Christen continues, nodding vigorously. “What if I trip over a rock and break my foot and my phone at the same time. Then I’ll have to crawl back and I don’t think you’d be very pleased about it.”

Jeff almost spits out his coffee, laughing even harder at Christen’s efforts. 

“You’re so dramatic.” Tobin chuckles, before rolling her eyes and giving in. “Fine, I’ll come as long as we’re only running the short route.” 

Christen jumps up at her achievement, acting as if it hadn’t taken her over ten minutes. She reaches out for Tobin’s hand, dragging her to get changed. 

They’re back home again within thirty minutes, Tobin finally being able to make the pancakes she’d been craving since she woke up. Christen is in the middle of a conversation with Jeff and Cindy when her phone rings. 

“Sorry,” She gives them both an apologetic look, answering the call when she sees the name displayed on the front. 

“Hey, Kris!” Christen greets through the phone as she walks towards the living room. 

“Hey, Chris!” Kristie chuckles at the name, “How are you?”

“I’m good, how are you?” Christen confirms, which isn’t anything new since she’d just texted Kristie less than two days ago. 

Kristie replies, then getting onto the reason why she called right away. “Do you remember that conference you went to a few months back?” Christen hums, waiting for Kristie to continue. “Would you be willing to give your input at one of those again?”

Kristie knows that Christen is great at her job - she’s organized, prepared, has different methods of teaching to offer, is always clear on her aims and knows how to make the students participate, as well as getting along with all of them. There was a reason why Kristie offered her the job without opening up applications, knowing what a good reputation Christen had and that their facilities could allow her to grow further. This led her to being invited to a number of conferences already, the numbers slowly increasing, to help other schools build a better system and often present new ideas. It gave smaller schools an opportunity to still have quality teaching, despite having less facilities, due to Christen having experience in teaching at schools with a high and very low quality of accessible facilities. 

One thing Kristie loves about Christen is that she knows she is good at her job, but always stays grounded and humble. She is the best department leader the school had ever seen by a long stretch, and Kristie has made that clear in the past, but Christen would never mention it or use it against someone. Christen always looks for new opportunities to learn, constantly seeking Alex and Julie’s input, as well as learning from Tobin’s experiences at her previous school. She holds regular meetings with them all, keeping them involved and in the loop. She constantly makes clear how important their roles are in their department and that she doesn’t want to be seen as their boss, much preferring to be equal and seeing them as friends. Sure Christen always has the final say, but she values everyone's input and more often than not she’ll make the decision with them. 

Apart from the two being very close friends, she really enjoys working alongside Christen. She is prepared for meetings, coming up with a million and one ideas, but constantly presenting them to Kristie before making major changes or decisions. It built up a trust in their professional relationship - something that Kristie greatly appreciated and led to her often coming to Christen for opinions about other departments or general decisions too, knowing she’d get a well thought out answer that was truthful. 

“When is it?” Christen asks, walking back into the kitchen to look at the calendar hanging on their wall - somewhere they kept all of the important meetings, appointments or any vacations in. 

“Middle of February.” Kristie reads from her computer screen in front of her.

Christen’s eyebrows furrow, not remembering receiving an email about this, but checking the dates anyway. “I didn’t think any of the Southern Cal ones were until Summer?” 

Tobin shoots her a confused look. Christen just shrugs, silently telling Tobin that she doesn’t know anything yet. 

“You’re right.” Kristie confirms, “It’s an out-of-state one!”

“Why would they want us at an out-of-state one?” Christen asks, confused. Usually they’d just keep the conferences with a small number of schools within a single state as it was easier to control and organize.

“They were very impressed with your suggestions at the last one and think that your input could be used in some schools in other states too.” Kristie explains, “This way you could bring something into their schools, but maybe collect some other ideas for our local ones too.” 

“Uhm, okay.” Christen’s eyes widen with surprise, not having expected her presentations to make much of a difference. “I know that Utah has one coming up, and I think there’s another one in the Austin area, but I haven’t heard anything about others.” She speaks, remembering seeing those on a spreadsheet she received. 

“Yes, it’s the Utah one!” Kristie confirms, “Obviously it’s fine if you don’t want to go. You’re only just coming back and we could always get you involved with a later one if you change your mind.” 

“No, no.” Christen insists, “I’m fine and I’m up for it.”

“Okay, it would be a five day conference as they’re aiming to bring in some people from other states too - something about wanting to make these conferences a chance to improve schools across all states.” 

“I want to speak to Tobin about it first, but it should be fine.” Christen explains, hoping that Kristie won’t mind a slightly delayed response. 

“Yeah, of course.” She replies right away, “I’ll email you the details and then if you could get back to me within the next few days?” 

“Sounds good!” Christen confirms, “Thanks Kris, bye.” 

Christen hangs up the phone, going back to her previous conversation with her girlfriend’s parents. She’ll just mention it to Tobin later, not wanting to make the decision without her, but knowing that she’ll end up going. 

\-------

When Tobin told Katie that she would wait until everything was a little clearer, she hadn't expected that to happen so soon. 

Somewhere in between jokes, laughters, soft eyes, care, and love; the prospect of marrying Christen became the clearest thing in Tobin’s life and she knew that she wanted to start working towards that, even if it wouldn’t happen for a few months or even a year. 

Proposing to Christen is something she’ll only have the chance to do once in her life, so she wants to make sure that it’s as special as it can be. 

Christen’s first day back at school had long passed - where she was welcomed back warmly by all of the students and teachers - and they were already approaching Christen’s week away. 

Tobin had been pouting for the full day, trying to make Christen feel bad about leaving her alone. Christen just laughed at her, kissing her pout away and repeatedly reminding her that it was only a short trip. 

Still, Tobin insisted that she’d miss Christen too much. 

It wasn’t until she was working in the office a few days before Christen would leave that she had the perfect opportunity to do what she’s been so nervous about. 

She checked the time, seeing that Christen still had twenty minutes left to teach and got out of her chair to walk across the small room. She opened Christen’s bag, looking for her phone and unlocking it. 

“Snooping through your girlfriend’s phone isn't very nice, Tobin!” Julie smirks from across the room when she looks up and sees where Tobin was.

“Shut up, I’m not snooping.” Tobin mutters, “And don’t tell her!” 

“I won’t…” Julie starts, throwing her hands up in defence. “As long as you tell me what’s going on.” 

“I will, I promise. Just not now.”

“Nope,” Julie shakes her head, “The deal is right now.”

“I can't tell you right now .” Tobin sighs, "You'll find out when you find out!"

“Okay, fine.” Julie sinks back in her chair.

She knows Julie will forget about it by tomorrow anyway, so she was in the clear.

Tobin puts Christen’s phone back, already feeling paranoid that Christen might realize she went on her phone and question her on it. It was stupid really, because they went on each other’s phones all the time just to take a picture or write something important down so they don’t forget, or even just to kill time by scrolling through Instagram. 

They never did it to look through the others text messages or phone calls out of insecurities, not feeling a single reason to not trust the other person completely. It didn’t even cross their minds, so Tobin wasn’t sure why she was getting nervous about Christen possibly finding out. 

She most likely wouldn’t even question it or bring it up, simply thinking that Tobin was looking for something in her camera roll or anything as pointless as that. 

Christen never thought twice about it, both of them knowing that they never had anything to hide in their relationship. 

That afternoon, whilst Christen is busy working in the office and Tobin is coaching the soccer team, she steps away from the team whilst they’re taking a water break. She pulls her phone out, dialing Tyler’s number first - which had been saved in her phone ever since the accident. 

“Hey, Tobin! Is everything okay?” Tyler questions when she picks up, not being used to Tobin calling her throughout the day. The only time Tobin would normally contact her is through text, so she wasn't used to getting a random phone call in the afternoon. 

“Yeah, um, everything’s fine.” Tobin starts, shaking her head and forcing her nerves away. “I just wanted to ask if you and Channing would be up for grabbing dinner sometime next week? Christen’s out of town, so I thought I’d see if you guys were free.” 

Tyler smirks, “So what you’re saying is your girlfriend is ditching you and you’ll be lonely?”

“No, I, um…” Tobin rambles nervously, “I wanted to see you guys anyway...to talk about something.”

“Tobin, I’m only joking!” Tyler laughs at how nervous Tobin sounds, deciding not to tease her anymore. “I’ll ask Chan, but I’m in. I’ll text you after I call her?” 

“Yeah, that’d be great. Thank you!” 

She looks around, knowing she won’t have time to call the other person she was planning to today.  _ I guess it’ll have to wait until tomorrow. _

Despite Tyler telling her that she was up for their dinner, Tobin couldn’t help but feel nervous. She was twiddling her thumbs and tapping her foot throughout the full coaching session, way too many worries coming up in her mind. 

Those thoughts didn’t settle down until she checked her phone again at the end of it, to see that Tyler had confirmed their plans and Channing was more than happy to join too.  _ Only one more person left to call.  _

She pushes that away for another day though, when Christen won't be right by her side. Maybe she’ll do it the day Christen leaves, still giving her enough time to plan something but not having a chance of Christen catching her making the phone call. 

Christen’s flight is booked for Sunday afternoon, but she won't be getting back until the Saturday after that. Tobin almost wants to laugh at the change in Christen, remembering how clingy she gets before she goes away, but knowing that she’ll miss her all the same. 

“You know, we can be really glad we don’t have jobs where we constantly travel!” Tobin chuckles, looking down at Christen who was cuddled into her and watching the sunset from their balcony. 

“I know,” Christen tilts her head so her chin is resting on Tobin’s chest and she’s looking up. “I couldn’t imagine being away from you all of the time - I’d hate it.” 

Tobin hums, “We’re lucky that we don’t have to.” 

Christen nods, moving up to kiss Tobin softly and then rest her head down again. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Tobin smiles. She still loves hearing those words every time, truly believing that Christen could never wear them out. 

“You better keep your phone on you so we can text throughout the day.” Christen pouts, knowing that she’s being slightly childish but serious at the same time. “And I expect at least one phone call every day once you’re home!”

“Okay, MOM!” Tobin laughs at Christen’s motherly tone, acting as if her teenage child was going on vacation with friends for the first time. 

“I’m serious!” Christen slaps her arm lightly, laughing now too. “Who else am I going to vent to at the end of the day?” 

“You better up your game because I’m expecting a FaceTime call every night.” Tobin declares, much preferring to see Christen too instead of simply holding the phone to her ear. 

“I wonder how Kristie and Rach do it.” Christen questions, “Rach goes away for two or three weeks when she’s with the national team and it’s the World Cup this year, so she has a full month plus the qualifiers, friendlies and training camps.” 

“She’ll be travelling earlier because of the time zones too, won’t she?” Tobin asks, “I think Jeffrey mostly travels on the day since the times aren’t that big of a difference, but I’m guessing Rach would travel a few days before camp starts.”

Christen nods, “I think she does.”

“By the way, I’m proud of you!” Tobin speaks up again after a moment of silence. She’d already mentioned this to Christen at least three times a day, but it wouldn’t hurt to tell her again. “You deserve people being able to see how amazing you are and what an impact you make on our school.” 

“Thanks, baby.” Christen smiles, “But I’m really not that special.”   
  


Tobin pretends to act shocked, gasping and pulling Christen in tighter. “You’re the specialestest!” 

“Tobs, that is definitely not a real word.” Christen laughs at her goofiness, watching Tobin frown. 

“It is!” Tobin insists, “Babe, google it or something. I swear it is - or at least it should be if it isn’t.” 

“Whatever.” Christen chuckles, knowing that it would probably land her at urban dictionary if she were to look it up now. 

\-------

Tobin drops Christen off at the airport at midday on Sunday, leaving her with a tight hug and kiss. Throughout Christen’s stay, FaceTime became their best friend. They’d text as often as they can throughout their day, which was proven to be relatively difficult, so they would spend hours on FaceTime together every night. 

Christen had a long day for the first night, so they weren’t able to call until later. Tobin knew it was the perfect opportunity to see Channing and Tyler without having to tell Christen where she was, so that’s what she did. 

They meet up at a coastal restaurant near Channing’s house, ordering their food and creating random conversations whilst they eat their meals. Both sisters had always been welcoming to Tobin and treated her just like any other family member, so it was never awkward even if Christen wasn’t there. 

“Where’s Chris, you said she was out of town?” Channing wonders, realizing she’d never texted Christen to ask her where she was going. 

“Yeah, she’s in Utah for a conference.” Tobin nods, smiling brightly. “She was invited to an out-of-state one after they liked all of her ideas at the California one. It’s quite rare for them to invite one of the full-time teachers to present and voice their opinions at something like this, especially if they’re from a different state!” 

“That’s amazing!” Channing raises her eyebrows.

“Yeah it is, she really deserves it.” Tobin agrees, “Chris works so hard and I’m glad the education leaders are able to see that too.” 

Tyler grins, looking softly at Tobin who was currently smiling as proud as ever. “You don’t happen to be proud of her or anything, do you?” 

Tobin laughs when she catches on to Tyler watching her, “Me? Never.” 

“It’s cute!” Tyler explains before Tobin has a chance to be embarrassed, “I’m really glad she has you.” 

“So am I.” Channing quickly agrees, as Tobin decides now would be as good of a time as ever to bring up the reason why they’re here in the first place. 

“I’m pretty lucky.” Tobin smiles, “I actually wanted to talk to you both about that.” 

She’s nervous all of the sudden, her facial expressions clearly showing that she’s uncomfortable. Channing and Tyler just look at her expectantly, waiting for Tobin to continue.

“Ehm, so I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and decided that I wanted to ask you guys before anything else.” Tobin rambles quietly, shaking her head and making herself get straight to the point. “I wanted to ask for your blessing to marry Christen...well, to propose to her!”

“You wanted to ask us?” Tyler asks with wide eyes, tilting her head and not even trying to hide her surprise. 

Tobin nods nervously, “Um, yeah. With everything that happened I obviously can’t ask your parents, but you guys are so close and I don’t know - I guess I just thought it would make sense. This probably sounds really stupid.” 

“No, it doesn’t!” Tyler quickly corrects herself, reaching out to Tobin’s arm and squeezing her wrist reassuringly. “I just didn’t expect that because I didn’t think someone would be thoughtful enough to do something like this.” 

“You must have forgotten that this is Tobin Heath we’re talking about.” Channing chuckles, trying to ease Tobin’s nerves too. 

Tobin smiles, looking between them and waiting for them to answer - her leg bouncing up and down under the table. 

“Obviously you have our blessing to propose to Chris!” Channing continues, “That was never even a question.” 

Tyler agrees, squealing and sitting up like a young child. “I can’t believe my other baby sister is going to get married too!” 

“Alright, hold your horses.” Tobin chuckles, “There’s always a chance that she’ll say no.” 

“Yeah, right.” Channing scoffs, “As if she’d say that.” 

“You need to tell us everything.” Tyler demands, leaning forward on the table. “Have you got a ring yet or an idea of when you’d want to do it?” 

Tobin shakes her head, “I’m going to Fran’s house on Wednesday afternoon, because I want to ask her too! If she says the same as you guys then I want to start looking for rings whilst Chris is still away. It’ll be easier that way, at least so I can get a general idea already.” 

Channing gives Tobin a telling smile, staying silent but telling Tobin what she needed to anyway. 

“Can we come with you?” She asks suddenly, loving the idea of getting to spend more time with Tobin and help her with someone meaningful. 

Tobin agrees right away, “If you’re up for it, yes please! I could use your help.” 

“Tell us when and where, and we’ll be there.” Tyler nods eagerly, already knowing she’ll have to bite her tongue to keep this a secret. 

They stay a little while longer, staying on the topic of Christen and discussing funny stories and potential plans. When Tobin gets in that night, it’s not long before Christen calls her, timing it perfectly with Tobin’s schedule. 

“Hey, baby!” Christen’s face shows up on the phone. 

Tobin smiles brightly at her, feeling the butterflies rushing through her at the thought of proposing to Christen. “Hey, gorgeous. I miss you!”

Christen chuckles, “It’s only been a day, Tobs.” 

“Excuse me! I’m allowed to miss my girlfriend if I want to.” Tobin defends herself, “My day’s just too boring without my favorite person here.” 

“I miss you too.” Christen shakes her head with a grin, “Your favorite person sounds pretty great by the way.” 

“She’s alright.” Tobin shrugs, asking Christen about her day. 

\-------

Tobin finishes work early on Wednesday, giving her a chance to leave perfectly on time and arrive at Fran’s house in the late afternoon. 

She’d told Christen that Kelley was dragging her to the beach on their nightly FaceTime call, figuring it was believable and due to the small time difference, they could just call each other a little later that night.

Tobin feels the nerves from earlier in the week return to her when she arrives outside of Fran’s house, giving herself a short pep-talk before leaving her car.  _ You can do this Tobin. This is important so you have to do it tonight.  _

She walks up to the porch, knocking on the front door and waiting for Fran to open the door. 

“Tobin!” She greets warmly, “It’s so good to see you, dear.” 

“It’s good to see you too.” Tobin agrees, holding a bunch of flowers out in front of her. “These are for you.” 

Fran thanks Tobin and gives her a warm welcome, hugging her tightly and then opening the door further to let her inside. Unlike Tyler and Channing, Fran was always quick to pick up when someone had a specific reason for being in her presence. 

She seemed to let it go for a short while, getting through a full conversation without bringing her suspicions up. Eventually though, she caves and decides that she couldn’t wait any longer. 

“Are you going to tell me what brings you here today?” Fran asks with a polite smile, before continuing in an unaccusing tone. “I’m always up for having you visit me, but I can tell by the way your leg has been bouncing all night that you’ve got something to say!” 

“Yeah, yeah I do.” Tobin starts, biting her bottom lip nervously. “I wanted to talk to you about Christen.” 

“Is everything okay with her?” Fran asks concerned, tilting her head and suddenly a little worried. 

“Sorry,” Tobin quickly apologizes when she realizes that the way she phrased her sentence may have made Fran worry. “Everything is fine with her!”

“I just, well, I love Christen...so much. The past year and a half have been the best months of my life and I want that every day, for the rest of it.” Tobin nervously explains, “I want to be there for her on the good days and the bad days, I want her by my side through it all.”

“What I’m trying to say is that I want to marry Christen!” Tobin continues, trying to make herself clearer. “So I wanted to ask if I have your blessing to propose to Christen.”

“You wanted to ask for  _ my  _ blessing?” Fran asks with surprise, looking just as shocked as Tyler did, with tears welling up in her eyes. 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods, shyly. “I know that she has my family too now, but you’re still her family by blood. I obviously can’t ask her parents, but it wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t ask you, Channing and Tyler.”

“You asked Channing and Tyler too?” Fran questions, being surprised once again. 

“I invited them out for dinner earlier this week, but I wanted to ask you separately.” Tobin explains, hoping that this goes as well as the previous conversation. 

“Oh, Tobin!” Fran says softly, letting a tear roll down her cheek and moving to sit next to Tobin. She wraps the young girl into a tight hug. “You don’t know how much this means to me!”

“Of course you have my blessing Tobin. You and Christen are so good for each other and you’re truly one of a kind.” She rubs Tobin’s back, releasing her again and looking her in the eyes. “There’s not many people that would still ask the parent’s for permission, nevermind other family members.” 

“I really have your blessing?” Tobin double checks, feeling overwhelmed at Fran’s words. 

Fran nods with a smile, “You had it from the moment I met you!” 

“Have you got a ring yet?” She wonders, not trying to hide her excitement at the prospect of Tobin and her granddaughter getting married. 

“Not yet,” Tobin shakes her head, “I wanted to wait until I asked you, but I’ve been putting money aside for a while now so I can buy her a nice one!” 

Fran gives her an amused look, having expected Tobin to go above and beyond for Christen. “I’m sure she’d agree to marry you with a paper ring, as long as it’s coming from you.”

She shrugs, “I only get the chance to propose to her once in my life, so I want to make sure it’s everything she’d want it to be.” 

“Have I ever told you how great you are?” Fran smiles, reaching out to squeeze Tobin’s shoulder. 

“Oh, whilst we’re speaking of engagement rings…” She suddenly continues, standing up and walking out of the room, leaving a confused Tobin behind. Fran returns a few minutes later, walking in with a box in her hand and sitting down next to Tobin. 

“Before my sister got divorced, Christen would gush about her ring all of the time.” Fran starts, “She used to happily sit there for hours and just twist it on my sister’s finger, it was just always one of those things a little girl would stare at for ages.”

“Right up until they eventually got divorced, she loved that ring - even as a teenager and in college.” She pulls a ring out of the small memory box, “My sister was going to give it back, but I ended up keeping it here instead as a memory.”

“You don’t have to take it with you if you don’t want to, but maybe it’ll help you pick out a ring?” Fran asks, “I’m sure you already have a general idea in mind, but if you still think this is somewhat Christen’s style, it might help for some inspiration?”

Tobin looks at the silver band of the ring. It has a row of diamonds leading up to a relatively big and square stone. Whilst she knew that the stone wasn’t as much Christen’s style as others would be, she could tell right away that the band was. 

“For sure!” Tobin smiles kindly, “I know she’ll probably want something a little more subtle than that, but it’ll definitely help looking for the right one.” 

“Hey, you never told me what Channing and Tyler said!” Fran realizes, placing the ring to the side for Tobin to take later. 

“They said yes too.” She can’t help the big smile spreading onto her face at the mention of the conversation she had a few days earlier. “They both offered to go ring shopping with me as well.” 

By the time Tobin gets home that night, it’s already a lot later than she’d anticipated. She sends Christen a quick text anyway. 

**Tobs :** Hey babe, I just got home! Are you still up for FaceTime tonight or should I just call you earlier tomorrow? 

**Chris :** I’m always up for talking to you, I want to hear about your day. Can I call you for ten minutes before I sleep? 

Tobin looks down at her watch, seeing that it’s just after ten there and shaking her head with a smile. She sits down in the living room, plugging in her phone and opening the app. 

“I see someone is stretching their bedtime tonight.” Tobin chuckles as she accepts Christen’s call, “It’s 10pm, Chris! Why are you still awake?” 

“Shush, I’m not that bad.” Christen rolls her eyes with an amused smile. “Hello to you too, by the way!” 

“Hey, babe.” Tobin changes her tone, “How’s my amazing and beautiful girlfriend doing?” 

“Nice try, but being charming doesn’t make me forget the fact that you made fun of me less than a minute ago.” Christen declares, raising her eyebrows at Tobin. 

“If only you’d be here in person,” Tobin starts, giving Christen a challenging look. “I’m sure I could name a few ways I’d get you to forget about it.”

“No, nope! You’re stopping that, right now.” Christen laughs, “I’m exhausted and want to sleep soon, so please tell me how your day’s been.” 

“Alright, if I must.” Tobin groans with annoyance, acting like a young child that’s trying to put up a fight. 

\-------

The next day is about as eventful as her previous work days have been. They’re all following a similar pattern, only her afternoons changing and keeping her occupied. Thinking about how bored she is without Christen at home makes her laugh, remembering the time before they lived together. 

Tobin has been living alone all from college until her and Christen moved in together, yet she’s suddenly never felt more bored in her life. 

They regularly spend time apart, even though they have the same friendship group. Whilst the group mainly spend time together when they go out into town or have various game or movie nights, they’re all busy adults who don’t always have the time to align their schedules. Sometimes Chris may just go out with one of them, and Tobin would either stay at home or spend time with someone else, and vice versa. They spend a lot of time with Ashlyn and Ali too, even without Kelley, and still aim to keep their ‘Sunday Surfing’ up throughout the summer break or any other free weekends when the water is warm enough.

“Hey, you!” Tobin smiles through her phone when she sees Christen’s face appear on the screen that night. 

“Hey!” Christen says softly, her face dropping to a slight frown. “You look tired, baby.” 

“Yeah, I am a little.” Tobin agrees, beginning to tell Christen about the main events of her day.

“You’ll never guess what happened earlier!” She chuckles after Tobin finishes talking. 

“We were all waiting in the conference room and just making conversation before the meeting, so I was speaking to this guy next to me that I’d seen around a few times, who turns out to be from a school in Vegas.” Christen starts when Tobin nods, urging her to continue telling the story, “Some of them were going out for a meal tonight, but I said that I’d just go straight back to the hotel.”

“Babe, you could have gone with them. You don’t have to leave by yourself just to speak to me, you could have always called me first thing in the morning or after dinner.” Tobin comments when there’s a short pause in the conversation, wanting to make clear that Christen could do what she wanted to and Tobin would never hold her back from having a nice night out. 

“No, that wasn’t the problem.” Christen quickly shakes her head, “It’s been a long day, so I’m tired too and I just wanted to speak to you for the rest of the night anyway.”   
  


“Okay, if you’re sure.” Tobin reluctantly lets it go, “Please go out with them one night during your stay though - if you want to. I want you to have a good time too and not just sit around in the hotel all day to wait for me when you’re not working.” 

“I will, I promise.” Christen nods, continuing on with her story from earlier. “Anyway, after I told him that I wasn’t coming with them, he kept trying to convince me to tag along which I found quite strange for someone who didn’t know me. He eventually dropped the topic after I turned the offer down for the third time, but just before we left he actually asked me out for drinks. I was so confused and oblivious until he made it clear that he was asking me out - like out, out - just me and him.” 

Tobin laughs, picturing Christen being totally clueless to someone trying to ask her out. She wasn’t even surprised that someone wanted to ask Christen out. She’s seen her girlfriend with her own eyes and is more than aware of how lucky she is - with both her looks and her personality. “Mhm, nice try buddy.” 

“Don’t worry, I spent a good five minutes bragging about my very beautiful girlfriend to him afterwards.” Christen clarifies with a grin, recalling herself rambling on to him for way too long about how lucky she is and that she has the best possible girlfriend she could ever ask for. 

“You have a girlfriend?” Tobin questions, pretending to be shocked and holding a hand on her heart. “Damn, I was going to shoot my shot too.” 

Christen shrugs, “You might have some luck. I guess you’ll never know unless you try.” 

They both laugh, Tobin turning more serious again after. “Are you sure I don’t need to pay him a visit and make sure that he knows that he doesn’t stand a chance?” 

“Oh, I think he got the message loud and clear.” Christen explains with a smirk when she sees how serious Tobin looks. “His face when I told him that I have a girlfriend said it all.” 

Tobin laughs at Christen, recalling the number of times when Christen was asked out by random guys at happy hour and one time when they were at the beach together. Whilst Christen always turned them down politely right away, Tobin would spend the rest of the night staying closer to her than necessary.

“I might have to rethink you going out with them.” Tobin jokes, winking so Christen knows she wasn’t being serious. 

“Tobin!” Christen whines, “You know that I wouldn’t even look at someone else that way, nevermind be interested in them. I love you and there’s no one else that I’d rather want to live my life with.” 

“I know, I love you too.” Tobin nods, taking Christen’s words to heart but making sure the younger girl knows that she never questioned it in first place. “Why don’t you go when I’m at happy hour on Friday?” 

Tobin knows very well that she won’t be attending happy hour, due to other arrangements, but those wouldn’t be mentioned to Christen right now.

“That was my plan!” Christen snaps her fingers, finger-gunning them towards the screen. “Great minds think alike.” 

Tobin bursts out laughing at her girlfriend, “That was such a Kelley move.” 

\------

Christen caught her Saturday midday flight out of Salt Lake City, arriving at LAX in the early hours of the afternoon. She’s exhausted from her week, having worked an unusual length of hours compared to her normal schedule for the past five days, as well as sleeping on an uncomfortable hotel mattress. She couldn’t wait to have Tobin back and sleep in her own bed again.

Christen just collected her luggage from baggage claim, when she spots a familiar woman with dark blonde hair standing a few feet away. Christen moves towards her with a smile, wrapping her arms around her shoulders from behind once she gets close enough. 

“You don’t happen to see my girlfriend anywhere, do you?” Christen whispers in her ear. 

Tobin's face lights up when she gets over the shock of the unexpected contact, turning around and hugging the green-eyed woman tightly. 

“I missed you!” Tobin smiles, leaning back slightly to give Christen a sweet kiss. 

Christen kisses her back, letting go of Tobin and reaching for her luggage again before intertwining their fingers. 

“I missed you too.” She returns as they start walking, “I’m always happy to be home with you.”

They make their way through the LA traffic, Christen smiling when the scent of home hits her as she walks into the house. Despite only being away for a week, she’s always been a bit of a homebody and loves the comfort of sleeping in her own four walls. 

Tobin offers to carry her suitcase upstairs whilst Christen showers, always wanting to feel clean after travelling. 

She orders them both a pizza from the local takeaway, getting Christen a pepperoni pizza and herself a hawaiian once - which she knows she’ll be teased about later. 

"I ordered us some food.” Tobin tells her as Christen joins her in the kitchen. She looks at the time on her phone, calculation in her head. “It should be here in about an hour, so we still have some time.”

“You know, I never got an actual kiss.” Christen complains after thanking her.

“Oh, did you not?” Tobin wonders with a smirk, realizing that Christen was in fact correct. “I guess we’ll have to do something about that.” 

Christen gives her a confused look when Tobin takes a step away from her. She moves around the kitchen island, keeping her hands clasped behind her back, not bringing them to the front until she reaches her girlfriend again. 

“I love you!” Tobin tells the dark haired woman as she moves the bouquet of flowers within Christen’s eyeshot. 

Christen melts at the gesture, a huge smile spreading on the face that reaches her eyes. “ _ You  _ are the sweetest. I don’t know what I’ve ever done to deserve you, but I love you too, so much.” She returns, holding Tobin close. 

Christen has always loved small and meaningful gestures like these. The ones that say  _ I think of you  _ and  _ you’re important to me  _ without having to say the words. She’s always been one to count the thought and emotions over any price tag, and it makes her smile widely knowing that Tobin’s the same. It’s something she’d never been used to in her previous relationship - getting flowers, giving presents with a meaning behind them, investing time into writing out something thoughtful in her birthday card. There were all these little things that she couldn’t have ever imagined happening in her last relationship. 

For years Christen thought that all the little cheesy ways to tell someone you love them only happened in movies. That was true, for over twenty years of her life, until she met Tobin. 

It’s all the little things between them - the ones that stay just between them and aren’t told to anyone else - that make her fall deeper for Tobin every second of every day. The small confessions, the jokes that no one else would find funny, the little notes that they’d leave in random places with something they love about the other on, the love letter Christen wrote for Tobin’s birthday and so much more. 

In her last relationship she was lucky if she’d even hear those three words once in a day, unlike Tobin who can’t seem to say them enough and still never wears them out; she’d get told that talking was boring or that she has to be quiet when they were watching television, unlike Tobin who listens no matter how small the conversation is; she’d have to cook for two people by herself every night, unlike now when they prepare them together unless one of them isn’t home at the time; she’d get told that she was too clingy if she tried to cuddle in bed, but now Tobin can never hold her close enough, always pulling her in and holding Christen in her arms. 

One of the main things she originally had to learn was that she deserves to be valued in her relationship. She never used to play an equal role in it, always being pushed out of decisions, whilst Tobin never makes one without her; she learned that it was okay to be upset sometimes and cry, and that it doesn’t make her weak; and she learned that she was allowed to have a good time with friends by herself, without someone demanding to tag along or wanting to know who was there and what happened every second of the day. The only reason Tobin would ever ask those things is to show her genuine interest and see whether Christen had a good time. Turns out that it’s crazy how much more worthy of things you view yourself, when you have someone that lets you be whoever you want to be. 

She’s grown so much in the past year and a half, and just continues growing every day. But most of all, she just loves Tobin. She truly is insanely in love with everything about Tobin.

Christen leans back again, placing the flowers to the side and deciding that they could wait another moment before she has to put them in a vase. Christen moves closer to Tobin, resting their foreheads together and just smiling at each other for a long moment. She grabs Tobin’s face, gently pulling her into a kiss. 

What starts off as a soft and slow kiss, is quickly deepened by Christen at the same time as Tobin backs her up against the counter. When that doesn’t feel like enough anymore, Tobin moves her hands from where they’d been resting on her ass to under Christen’s shirt, grabbing her by the waist and lifting her onto the countertop. 

Their lips stay connected the whole time, moving in a perfect rhythm together. Tobin’s move down to Christen’s neck when she tries to catch her breath, resulting in a quiet moan filling the kitchen. 

Tobin sucks on the skin on her neck, knowing very well that she’s leaving marks but not hearing the younger woman complain. Christen pulls her in even closer, wrapping her legs around Tobin’s waist to keep her in place. She runs her hands from Tobin’s neck down her back, sneaking them under her sweatshirt and moving them up to tug it off and reveal her braless chest. 

Once she’s discarded it, she pulls Tobin’s head back up to meet her lips again, her hands gripping onto Tobin’s bare skin. Tobin lets her hands move from Christen’s waist, running to the front of her sweatpants and undoing the strings. She tugs on Christen’s shirt after, taking it off and letting it drop onto the floor. Their lips separate for a short moment, both locking eyes with a small smile. 

“You’re so hot.” Christen whispers breathlessly, biting her lip as she takes her girlfriend’s swollen lips and longing eyes in. 

Tobin takes a step back, pulling her off the countertop. She’s resting against it now, with Tobin pulling down her sweatpants whilst leaving a trail of soft kisses on every inch of her skin. She helps Christen step out of them, slowly making her way back up.

Christen pulls her in closer, desperate hands holding onto Tobin’s waist as she spins them around, pinning Tobin up against the counter instead. 

“I want you first!” Christen hums against the skin on Tobin’s neck, making her groan. 

She unbuttons Tobin’s jeans, quickly discarding them and pulling her boxers down too. Christen holds her hips in place, darting her tongue out and making a slow path through Tobin’s folds. Tobin lets her head fall back, closing her eyes as she bites her lip. 

Christen leans forward again, following the same pattern and sucking on Tobin’s clit. Christen lets her tongue stroke through Tobin’s folds one more time, circling her clit and flicking it with her tongue. 

She moves back up Tobin again, using her tongue to pay attention to Tobin’s breasts on the way. 

“You taste so good.” Christen tells her before kissing Tobin’s lips. “I’ve missed that - getting to kiss you. Getting to taste your skin and feeling your hands all over me.” 

Tobin groans again, rocking her hips into Christen. 

“I need you.” Tobin begs, shutting her eyes at the feeling of Christen’s lips on her skin. “I need you to touch me.” 

Christen runs her fingers down Tobin’s stomach, letting them brush along her skin lightly and making Tobin shiver. She can feel how wet Tobin is - _ how much she wants her  _ \- and knows not to waste anymore time by teasing her. 

She finds Tobin’s entrance, pushing one finger in slowly. Tobin moans at the feeling, her hands gripping onto the edge of the counter. Christen pulls her finger out slightly, pumping it in again and picking up the pace with every thrust. 

“I need more.” Tobin stutters out, her words turning into moans. 

“Be patient.” Christen replies, diverting her lips back from Tobin’s neck and up to her lips. 

Christen curls her finger and pulls it back out before adding a second one. Tobin’s hips rock into her hand, her palm making contact with Tobin’s clit. 

“Fuck, don’t stop.” Tobin begs, getting lost in the feeling of pleasure. Her breathing gets heavier with every thrust, Tobin crying out undetectable words. 

Christen can feel Tobin getting closer, can feel her clenching around Christen’s fingers. 

She lowers herself, kneeling on the cold wooden floor and spreading Tobin’s legs a little further apart. Christen darts her tongue out, flicking Tobin’s clit again and then sucking on it. 

That’s all Tobin needs - all she can take - coming undone and tangling her fingers into Christen’s curls as she slows down her motions. 

Christen pulls her fingers out once Tobin’s breathing starts to steady again, collecting the wetness that was running down Tobin’s inner thighs with her tongue. She lets it run through Tobin’s folds one more time before standing up and pulling her into a deep kiss. 

Tobin moans at the taste of herself on Christen’s tongue, taking a step forward so she could turn them around. 

“I can’t wait to taste you again!” Tobin mumbles against her lips as she hooks her fingers through Christen’s thong. 

\-------

After their food arrives, they move over to the couch, sitting down close to the other. Christen puts her legs across Tobin’s legs, already sitting as close as she possibly can at the angle. 

“I think we should go with the ‘teenage year throwback’ style today.” Christen suggests, skimming through the different movies on Netflix after they settled on cuddling on the couch for the rest of the night. 

“Oh, yeah?” Tobin looks over at her, “What were you thinking?”

Christen continues looking, until she stumbles across a movie she watched one too many times when she was younger. “Can we watch Legally Blonde?” She requests, not knowing if Tobin would be up for it or not. 

“Perry and Katie made me watch that once,” Tobin recalls, “I think I fell asleep halfway through it.” 

Christen chuckles, “Okay, but that was like what...over ten years ago?” 

“True,” Tobin admits, “I can’t promise that I’ll enjoy it more this time round though.”

“Please?” She gives her the cutest smile she can master, “If you  _ really  _ don’t like it after a while then we can watch something else.” 

“Go for it!” Tobin nods with a small grin, knowing she can just fall asleep in Christen’s arms if she does happen to get bored.

Christen presses play, excitedly digging into her pizza and watching the screen. Her eyes don’t divert again until they reach the restaurant scene. 

“Elle expecting her boyfriend to propose and him breaking up with her instead might be one of the only scenes that I actually remember.” Tobin states, thinking back to how shocked Katie was when she found out that Tobin had never seen the movie before. 

“Stop ruining it.” Christen elbows her lightly. 

Tobin laughs at her girlfriend, “It’s hardly a spoiler if you’ve seen it before.” 

“Still!” Christen states seriously, “I’m pretending that I don’t know the storyline. It makes watching it for the nth time more fun.” 

“Alright, whatever you say.” Tobin shrugs, placing the empty pizza box on the floor and shuffling closer so she can wrap her arm around Christen’s shoulder. 

“You know,” Christen starts as she finishes off her own pizza too, “One thing I’ve never understood is public proposals.” 

Tobin raises her eyebrow with curiosity, signaling for her to continue. 

“I know it’s a personal choice and preference, and it also depends on the relationship, but for me personally, I’ve never been the biggest fan of them.” She continues, wanting to get her words out right so the meaning of them wouldn’t come across in the wrong way. “My parents, Chan and Ty all had their proposals in like a  _ public  _ place, but I think the ones that are more private are so cute. I don’t know, maybe I’m making no sense and just being silly.” 

“You’re not being silly,” Tobin shakes her head, “It’s like you said, everyone has different ideas of what they’d want their proposal to be like - just like some people never want to get married or have kids. Everyone should do whatever they want in their lives, as long as it makes them happy.” 

“Exactly! That’s why I don’t want to sound rude or judgemental when I’m saying this, because it’s personal and comes down to the individual.” Christen agrees, “I’ve just always thought of it in a way that’s for me and my life. Proposing to someone or being proposed to is one of the most special moments in life, so I’d want it to be a memory between just me and that person.”

“Whilst I think those in the middle of cities, busy places that hold special memories or ones at say family events are more than meaningful for  _ that  _ couple, I like the idea of it being in a more private place. I guess that I’d just want it to be something that is my story to tell, rather than others witnessing it and telling it too.” Christen shrugs, “I feel like I’m making no sense here.” 

“I get what you mean.” Tobin assures her, “But do you not think that’s just because you’re a very private person when it comes to relationships? When it comes to us two, we’re both very  _ it’s our relationship and none of your business  _ type of people unless it’s close friends and family.” 

“Maybe.” Christen nods with a shrug, “But I guess as long as it’s with the right person, it doesn’t really matter how or where it happens - one day.” She looks over to Tobin, locking eyes with her and giving her a small smile to silently indicate who she was thinking of when saying that. 

It doesn’t take more than another ten minutes before Tobin decides she’s getting a little bored. Christen is clearly enjoying the movie though, so she moves her arm from Christen’s shoulder and lowers herself instead. She wraps her arms around Christen’s waist, laying her head on her chest and nudging Christen’s legs so she can slot hers in between them. 

“Oh, so your plan was just to get cuddles, was it?” Christen chuckles, moving her arms to wrap one around Tobin and soothingly run the other through her hair. 

Tobin nods, tilting her head to look up at her. “Maybe…”

Christen laughs, leaning forward and pecking Tobin’s lips before leaning back again. 

She ends up falling asleep in record time, Christen only waking her once the credits start rolling and then dragging her upstairs. Surprisingly, Tobin wakes up first the next morning. Usually she’d just close her eyes again, but due to her nap the previous day, she feels restless. 

Tobin slowly pulls her arm out from under Christen, getting out of bed and walking towards the kitchen to make some coffee for both of them. The younger woman must have woken up when Tobin left the room, padding into the kitchen a short moment later. 

“Tobin Powell Heath!” Christen startles Tobin slightly, speaking before she’s even in view. “I love you, but I might have to kill you.” 

“What did I do?” Tobin chuckles, pouring the coffee into their mugs. 

When Christen still hasn’t answered her question, she turns around to face her. Right away, she knows what Christen is talking about, having to bite her lip to stifle her laugh. 

“Oops?” Tobin says, trying to give Christen an apologetic look. She turns around again, no longer being able to hold in her laughter. 

“Tobin,” Christen whines, “It’s not funny.” 

“It is a little.” Tobin admits, holding her thumb and index finger up with a small gap in between them.

Christen gives her an unamused look, pointing at the long trail of purple bruises on her neck. 

“It could have been a lot worse.” Tobin shrugs, trying her best not to laugh again. “There’s not  _ that  _ many.”

Christen moves closer to her, making a point by pointing at every single one on her neck. 

“It’s really not  _ that  _ bad.” Tobin still insists, knowing it probably couldn’t look much worse but putting an innocent act on anyway. 

She knows she regrets saying that when Christen pulls the collar of her shirt down. 

“Is it not?” Christen asks, revealing another trail of them on her collarbone and chest. 

“I’m sorry?” Tobin laughs, wrapping her arms around Christen and kissing her cheek. 

Christen wraps her arms around Tobin’s waist, nestling her face into her neck. “Someone clearly forgot that I was a PE teacher and can’t even wear any clothes that would cover them up.” She mumbles quietly. 

“I was just making sure that people know I’m the one that gets to touch you, and no one else.” 

“I’m pretty sure I already knew that.” Christen points out, not bothering to lift her head up. 

Tobin shrugs, “Some people might not, so I have to make sure no one thinks they could hit on you.” She chuckles lightly, “Like Mr I’m a teacher from Vegas and think I can ask out the hottest person in this room.” 

  
“You’ve seriously not let that go yet?” Christen laughs, tightening her grip around Tobin. “I don’t even know his name!” 

“Oh no, I know I don’t have anything to worry about.” Tobin is quick to clarify, “I’m just saying that he wouldn’t have dared ask you out like this.”

“Well, I mean I wouldn’t have turned up to a meeting like this anyway, but when you put it like that...” Christen smirks, lifting her head up and looking at Tobin. “I guess I’ll just have to return the favor.” 

She moves her lips to Tobin’s neck, leaving a few light kisses and backing her up against the counter so she can’t move. Christen trails her lips back up, moving them to the skin by Tobin’s ear and sucking on it lightly. 

Tobin can’t even bring herself to make Christen stop, loving the feeling of her girlfriend’s lips on her skin way too much. She knows she should have expected this anyway. 

Christen moves further down Tobin’s neck, leaving a few more marks of her own and then leaning back with a smirk on her face. She kisses Tobin’s lips softly, holding her face in her hands. 

“I think we should take a shower.” Tobin suggests, kissing Christen’s cheek. 

Christen grins, moving back and stepping out of her embrace. 

“Nope, I’m going to shower  _ alone. _ ” She states, pointing at the bruises on her neck and chest once again when she sees Tobin pout. “That’s what happens when you decide to give me hickeys as if we hooked up at some teenage house party.” 

“I didn’t hear you complaining last night.” Tobin deadpans, making Christen walk away with an eye roll. 

If Christen thought she wanted to kill Tobin on Sunday morning, then she got even closer to following through with that plan on Monday morning. 

“Babe, have you seen my concealer anywhere?” Christen wonders as she rummages through her unpacked suitcase. 

Tobin shakes her head, looking in Christen’s makeup drawer. Since Tobin rarely wore any makeup at all, she only had an old concealer which would take her hours to find - having no clue where she last left it. She wasn’t teaching today or tomorrow though, only having a meeting and paperwork to go through before a simple strength session with the soccer team, so she just left her hair down. It conveniently covered her skin up in all the right places, not leaving any marks on display. 

Christen hadn’t been so lucky though, also having the meeting and a free lesson, but then teaching for the rest of the day, meaning she’d wear her hair up all day long. 

She walks to the bathroom, looking in her makeup bag that she’d travelled with and checking there too - finding it empty. 

“I think I might have forgotten my concealer…” Christen starts, biting her lip as she approaches Tobin. “...At the hotel in Utah.” 

Tobin’s eyes go wide, flickering from Christen’s eyes down to her neck. She chuckles slightly, quickly telling herself to stop it. Tobin opens her mouth to say something, but shuts it again, struggling to find an appropriate response. 

“I’m not joking, I can’t go to work like this.” Christen looks at herself in the mirror, “There’s no way to make the state of my neck any less obvious or find some silly excuse for it.” 

“Yeah, there really isn't.” Tobin agrees, not being able to hold her laugh in anymore. 

“Stop it!” Christen hits Tobin’s arm with the back of her hand, also laughing now. “I don’t know why I put up with you.” 

Tobin pouts at her, “Because you love me?” 

“There is that,” Christen points out, tilting her head. “Although I’m currently questioning my decision on it.” 

“You still have your old concealer though, don’t you?” She asks, remembering that Christen bought a new one for her trip but not recalling her chucking the old one out. 

Christen checks her makeup drawer, indeed finding an almost empty one. “You’re gonna want to hope that there’s enough in this.” She says with a teasing grin, feeling herself relax a little. 

She changes from her previous top into one of Tobin’s plain black hoodies, hoping it at least covers her collarbone. 

Fortunately, she gets just enough out of the old concealer to cover up the ones at the top of her neck, still leaving some on her lower neck exposed. She simply pulls the hoodie up higher, making a mental note to drag Tobin makeup shopping after work, and hoping that she’ll remember to keep pulling it up a little throughout the day. 

She almost thinks that she’s able to get away with it, that’s until Kelley O’Hara comes into the scene. 

They’re all sitting in the Physical Education office, opting for the more peaceful option instead of eating their lunch in the staff room today. Kristie and Kelley had joined Tobin, Christen, Alex and Julie, just like they usually would. 

Christen was sitting at her desk chair, with Kelley deciding to sit on Christen’s desk due to Kristie having the spare chair. 

“Christen Annemarie Press!” Kelley suddenly gasps, her eyebrows shooting up and her eyes going wide. 

Christen jumps, slightly startled at her yelling out of nowhere. 

“Is there any need to yell like that?” She questions, giving her friend a look. 

When Kelley gives her a teasing smirk but keeps the same facial expression, Christen furrows her eyebrows. “What?” 

“What the hell is this?” Kelley points out, tugging slightly on the collar of Christen’s hoodie. Christen had always been used to Kelley having no boundaries, so she isn’t fazed by it until she remembers why she was wearing the hoodie in the first place. 

“I don’t know what you’re on about.” Christen tries, the blush appearing on her cheeks starting to give her away. 

Kelley was the only one sitting close enough to actually see anything, the height of where she was sitting ruining her poor attempt at covering up.

“Holy shit,” Kelley laughs, leaning down and tugging on the hoodie. “Nice hickey.” 

She’s about to sit back up again, when she spots another purple mark on Christen’s skin, moving the collar slightly off her skin to see the parts of her chest that weren’t covered by the t-shirt Christen was wearing underneath. 

“Someone clearly missed Christen.” Kristie chuckles, looking over at Tobin.

“I’d like to correct myself,” Kelley says with wide eyes, “More like nice  _ hickeys _ , because there’s definitely more than one here.” 

Christen slaps Kelley’s hand away, “Stop it.” 

Alex wolf whistles, laughing at Kelley’s facial expression. “Get it, Tobito.” 

Tobin’s sitting at her desk, laughing along with Alex, whilst eating a sandwich. Christen reaches for the clean napkin on the side, scrunching it up and throwing it at her. 

“It’s not funny, Tobs.” Christen says, trying not to laugh too when Tobin looks at her. 

“Babe, I’m sorry but it really is.” Tobin forms a sentence in between laughter, making Julie and Kristie laugh too. 

Kelley pouts slightly, looking at Christen and wrapping her into a hug from the side. “My sweet and innocent little CP is growing up!” 

“We’re almost the same age.” Christen argues.

Julie shakes her head at Kelley, “You sound like you’re talking about your child.” 

“It took me nearly two years to get her to come to a party in College... _ two years! _ ” Kelley reminds them.

“Kel, I hate to break it to you but this definitely isn’t the first time they’ve had sex.” Kristie joins in the conversation, still laughing at Kelley.

“Don’t tell me that,” Kelley shakes her head, “It was totally the first time, right?” 

“Definitely.” Tobin nods, going along with it. 

“Christen’s smug look agrees with you too, Kelley.” Julie chips in, winking at Christen. 

\-------

Christen wakes up from stirring slightly - way before her alarm would usually go off. She’s felt unsettled all night, barely managing to get any sleep. The fact that she remembered that Mother’s Day was coming up within the next few weeks didn’t help rest her mind either. 

She hadn’t had any problems with this the previous year, not even thinking about it, but for some reason it was hitting her harder this time round. 

She feels on edge and restless in an unusual way - one which she couldn’t describe. 

Christen had been twisting and turning all night, trying to get comfortable in Tobin’s arms until she got too warm and slid out of her embrace, moving further onto her own side. In her sleep, she’d found herself curled back into Tobin, now knowing that there was no way she would be able to sleep again. 

She slowly moves Tobin’s arm from around her waist, padding out of the room. 

Normally Tobin has an unconscious habit of naturally waking up whenever Christen’s body heat leaves the bed, but this time she found herself surprised to see that Tobin didn’t move a muscle. 

Christen pads downstairs into the living room, managing to start her morning yoga. When she finds that her mind can’t stay in the zone long enough to complete her usual routine, she groans in frustration and heads into the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee instead. 

When Christen takes her last sip of coffee, she hears Tobin enter the kitchen. 

“The bed is too cold without you.” Tobin pouts, crossing her arms as if she’s hugging herself for some warmth. 

“Maybe you should have worn a sweatshirt then.” Christen states, causing Tobin to throw her hands up in defense at the cold tone Christen used. She let’s it go, deciding to try again. 

“Good morning, babe.” Tobin says with a gentle voice as she reaches Christen, leaning in to kiss her. 

“Morning.” Christen says shortly, making Tobin’s eyebrows furrow but she shrugs it off, instead leaning in to give the dark haired woman another soft kiss. 

Christen lightly pushes Tobin away after a short second, “I haven’t got time to kiss you right now, Tobin. I need to get ready.” 

She walks past her, skipping breakfast and heading up the stairs, leaving Tobin to make her own coffee despite having another hour before she would normally get ready. 

_ Snap out of it, Christen.  _ She tells herself as she makes her way into their bedroom,  _ What’s wrong with you today?' _

Tobin stays rooted in her spot in the kitchen, unsure of what just happened but feeling slightly confused at Christen’s unusual mood. She shrugs it off, deciding to ignore it and see if it changes throughout the day, knowing that Christen has dealt with Tobin’s bad moods more times than she can count. 

She makes them both pancakes, knowing it’s Christen’s favorite breakfast food, and puts them on two separate plates to bring upstairs. 

“Here, I made you some pancakes.” Tobin offers, kissing Christen’s cheek and placing the plate in front of her so she can wrap her arms around her shoulders from behind. 

She waits until Christen finishes applying her mascara, then pulling her in a little tighter and looking at her in the mirror in front of them. Christen melts into the embrace for a short moment, leaning her head into Tobins. 

“Thank you.” She replies in a surprisingly soft voice, but not lasting much longer before she feels uncomfortable again - something she also isn’t that used to. 

Tobin can feel Christen tense up, trying to restrain herself from moving out of Tobin’s arms. She lets go, running her fingers through Christen’s straightened hair and kissing her temple. 

“You’re gorgeous.” Tobin compliments her, still admiring Christen in the mirror. 

Christen scoffs quietly in return, something Tobin doesn’t fail to hear. 

“Are you crabby?” She wonders, tilting her head and hoping Christen wouldn’t get annoyed at her for asking. 

“Nope.” Christen replies, popping the ‘p’ and clearly speaking with an annoyed tone. 

Tobin gives her a questioning look, “Sure?” 

“Yes, Tobin. I’m sure.” Christen rolls her eyes, “I will get crabby if you keep asking me that though.” 

“Okay, okay.” Tobin defends, moving back and getting ready for work too. 

She isn’t oblivious enough to believe Christen when she said that nothing was wrong, but she can’t put her finger on what it could be either. Tobin thinks back to last night, not being able to point out a moment where Christen might have been upset. They have an unspoken rule of never going to bed when they’re fighting anyway, so she would have mentioned something and requested to talk about it before sleeping. 

Considering her first interaction with Christen this morning was her being snapped at for saying she missed Christen’s presence when waking up, Tobin’s clueless as to what she might have done wrong to upset her. 

The rest of her morning doesn’t go much different. 

First Christen snaps at her for driving too slow for her liking, then she’s standing too close and then she was taking too long to drink her coffee. She almost felt relieved when Christen gets annoyed at Kelley for talking too much, but she’d much rather have her smiling and happy girlfriend back. 

By the time Christen seems to have some sort of reaction for almost every move she makes, Tobin decides to just ignore it and question her on it when they get home - if she’s still alive by then and Christen hasn’t ripped her head off for something. 

Tobin can tell that Christen seems to be having an internal battle with herself. Everytime she looks over at the younger woman, she can see Christen scolding herself for her harsh reactions, but that doesn’t stop them from repeating again a few hours later. 

She decides that her safest move for once they get home is to follow Christen’s lead, which seems to be reading on the couch. Christen decided that her book might help calm her again and finally get out of whatever messy mental state she’s in right now, so she can apologize to Tobin sooner rather than later. 

Sweet and caring Tobin, that had still been showing her love all day despite Christen scolding her for everything she did. She internally rolls her eyes, getting frustrated with herself all over again.  _ Why is it that I always hurt the people closest to me, even if it isn’t their fault that I’m upset? _

_ That  _ Tobin, the sweet and caring one, was now making her way over to Christen. She sits down, hoping to cuddle into Christen and write her journal or text her mother and Perry, just like she’d promised them both earlier. 

Whilst Christen wants nothing more than to hide herself in Tobin’s arms right now, she knows that she doesn’t deserve any of Tobin with the way she’s been treating her all day. Instead of finally speaking up and somehow forming sentences on what she is feeling, she shuffles away and creates a small distance between them before Tobin can lean into her. 

“Alright, what’s wrong?” Tobin finally asks, now feeling fed up with Christen both ignoring her and being upset with her. 

“Nothing!” Christen cringes at the tone she uses, missing yet another opportunity to apologize. 

  
When she looks back at Tobin who stays silent, the hurt is evident in her eyes and it breaks Christen’s heart a little. 

“Please stop snapping at me every two seconds.” Tobin pleads in a soft, but weak, voice. “Just tell me what I did and I’ll fix it, I promise.”

Christen’s body starts shaking as she lets out a small sob, curling her knees up and using her arms to rest her head down on them. 

“Babe,” Tobin whispers, moving closer to her. She reaches for the book that's still holding a page open in Christen’s hands, placing the bookmark in it and putting it on the coffee table. 

She moves back towards Christen again, pulling her girlfriend into her. Christen moves her arms, gripping onto Tobin’s waist tightly and not showing any signs of releasing her grip. She clings onto her, closing her eyes and crying into her chest. 

Tobin holds Christen just as tightly, moving one of her hands to cup Christen’s cheek - gently stroking her thumb along it to calm her and wipe the tears. 

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” Tobin whispers softly, trying her best to reassure her. 

After Christen catches her breath again and lightens her grip on Tobin slightly, she keeps her head resting on Tobin’s chest to avoid eye contact. 

“Look at me.” Tobin requests, waiting until Christen lifts her head. 

“What is really going on in here?” Tobin wonders, kissing Christen’s forehead. “I hate seeing you upset and I can tell that there’s something bothering you.”

“I’m so sorry,” Christen starts, “I’ve been horrible to you all day and you didn’t deserve that.” 

“What upset you?” Tobin asks, trying to encourage Christen to continue. 

“Sometimes, I just get so mad at the world because of my parents.” Christen lets out a deep sigh, “I’ll just have random moments sometimes where I wonder why I can’t be the  _ perfect child  _ that they picture. Even thinking that always makes me feel so guilty, because it’s as if I’m wishing that I was straight.”

“The only way I’d ever be their  _ perfect child  _ would be by being straight, but then I get even more upset with myself because I realize how sick those thoughts are.” Christen continues, “If I was that, I wouldn’t have you. I wouldn’t know what it’s like to love you or to have you love me.” 

“Why haven’t you mentioned this before?” Tobin wonders, referring to Christen suggesting that this wasn’t the first time she’s felt this way. 

“Because I don’t want to hurt or upset you.” Christen explains, “How do I tell you and explain to you that I have these thoughts of wanting to be straight, without making it sound like me saying that I sometimes wish I wasn’t with you?” 

“Have you ever thought that?” Tobin asks in a genuine and unaccusing tone. 

Christen tilts her head, “Thought what?” 

“That you don’t want to be with me?” Tobin explains, “You can be honest, I won’t be upset or anything like that.” 

Tobin has barely finished getting her words out before Christen firmly shakes her head, “No, never. I love you and that’s been the clearest thing in my life for months now. I’ve never once questioned being with you.” She states right away, “The reason I feel guilty about it is because whilst it has nothing to do with our relationship, since it’s about my sexuality it also makes it everything to do with our relationship.” 

“So sometimes the difference between those two will just blur and then nothing makes sense. It’s just the way my brain works sometimes because of the thoughts my parents put in there. I’d stop those thoughts if I could, but they still come back every now and then.” She continues, “And then in moments like that I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin and can’t stand myself.” 

Tobin takes her face into her hands, sitting up a little more. “ _ You  _ are incredible, beautiful, kind, amazing, funny, caring and so many other things. Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise, because you’re perfect just the way you are. Being normal and the ideal child is boring, but being yourself and sticking up for what’s right is so brave.” 

“Tobs, I ruined my family - quite literally.” Christen chokes out, getting upset again. “It’s my fault that my sisters don’t speak to my parents anymore, and that my parents lost contact with all three of their daughters.” 

“No, babe! None of that is your fault.” Tobin shakes her head sternly, never breaking eye contact. 

“How? How isn’t it? Every reason behind it leads back to me.” 

“They do, but you shouldn’t look at it that way.” Tobin tells her, “First of all, It was your sisters’ choice to no longer speak to your parents. You never, at any point, told them that they have to pick sides or stop contacting your parents. They chose to do that for you! Channing and Tyler both stood up for you without you knowing or being there at the time. They did that because they love you, and not because you forced them to.” 

“Tobin, they would have never had to do that in first place if I’d just have kept my mouth shut!” Christen argues, taking in Tobin’s statement but still finding flaws in it. 

“You need to start thinking about yourself first - make  _ you  _ your priority!” Tobin begins again, speaking with a gentle and calming voice. “If you hadn’t told them, then you would have been so unhappy and you know that too. You’d have to lie to them about us, we wouldn’t be able to live together, we wouldn’t be able to go to weddings or parties as a couple and we wouldn’t be able to spend holidays or birthdays together. You probably still wouldn’t have met Ellie and the boys, just because they wouldn’t have all come out to Cali at the same time. Plus, you wouldn’t be  _ Auntie Chrissy  _ because they’d not get to spend enough time with you to even consider that.” 

“My family adores you, your sisters love you endlessly, Fran supports you no matter what and all of our friends are right behind you too. Your sexuality doesn’t make you any less loveable and shouldn’t give people a reason to judge you.” Tobin continues, “The way your parents reacted, it happens. It shouldn’t, but sadly it does. I would never wish that upon anyone, especially the person that I love, but I need you to see that it isn’t because of who you are. Not everyone is going to have that opinion, so it’s important to focus on the people that don’t act that way, rather than the ones that did.” 

“I love you so much and no one can ever take that off me, because it’s  _ my  _ love and the only person I’m willing to share that with is you. It took me a long time to learn these things too. When I first realized that I liked girls, it was in the middle of college and I had no clue what to do or who I could trust with that before fully accepting myself. Other people shouldn’t be telling you who you can and can’t love. How would they know what you’re feeling?” 

Christen clings onto every word that Tobin says, moving from where she is and sitting down sideways on her lap, just wanting to feel closer to her again. She leans into Tobin’s, resting her head on her chest and just closing her eyes. 

“I really love you.” Christen sighs after a long moment, still running over Tobin’s words in her head. “I hope you know that you’re crazy for constantly being willing to put up with me.”

“I hate to break it to you, but there’ll never be a time where I don’t want this.” Tobin makes clear, rubbing Christen’s back.

Christen chuckles, “You might want to wait a few more years before deciding on that.” 

“Nah,” Tobin shakes her head, kissing Christen. “I’ve already made up by mind.” 

“You could have told me about this, babe. I would have been willing to listen.” She continues, wanting Christen to know that she’s there for her.

“I wanted to talk to you about it, but then I didn’t know how to without feeling this extra layer of guilt.” Christen nods, “So instead I got even more upset with myself for not being able to talk to you about it, which is why I let all of that anger out on you. I shouldn’t be doing that and I know that, but I just couldn't help it.” 

“It’s okay,” Tobin assures her, “I know now and that’s all that matters.” 

“Will you please promise me that from now on you’ll always come to me about this, even if you think it could upset me?” She requests, “I want to know how to support you and help you grow out of these thoughts, instead of letting them upset you over and over again.” 

Christen nods at her and agrees, before frowning slightly. “I’m an adult, I shouldn’t be feeling upset about something like this.” 

“Sometimes we can’t help our thoughts, and that’s okay.” Tobin continues softly, “You can feel whatever you feel and you should never be ashamed of that. Everyone works in different ways and everyone gets upset about different things, but they will drown out all of the good ones if you just ignore them instead of talking about it.” 

“I want you to know that you can come to me any day about anything and will be there to listen. You and your happiness are my priority in life.” She tightens her arms around Christen, leaving a kiss in her hair. 

\------- 

She feels better and much lighter the days following her conversation with Tobin. There’s that small layer of underlying stress that has now been taken away and acts like a weight lifted off her shoulders. 

Will had texted Christen a couple of days ago, asking if they were free for dinner on Friday. They’d both agreed right away, always up for spending time with them. 

Growing up, Christen and Tobin had both been close with their families. This never changed, even as teenagers and once they started college. They’d both always been in regular contact with their siblings and parents, trusting them with everything. Whilst Christen’s family might have changed in the past two years and then again after her car accident, her relationship with her sisters and their husbands is now as strong as ever. Similarly, she’s just as close with her grandmother, almost speaking to her more than she ever did in previous years. Tobin’s never changed, instead her side of the family just taking Christen in too. They both love having this closeness with their own and each other's families, something that’s important to them, and gaining such a strong support system from it.

Christen’s own family had become very familiar with Mikel and Will’s families right away, something Christen appreciated but never thought much of. Now that she’s experiencing that same feeling with Tobin’s family, she knows just what a difference it makes. Sarah, James and Taylor are as close to her as Jeffrey, Perry and Katie are, with her also having met some of their families. 

After Christen’s birthday and the New Year’s celebrations, the already existing Heath family group chat gained another chat with even more members. Jeff and Cindy decided that they had the best idea ever, after texting them all about their idea in January. Somehow they’d convinced all eight of them that it would be possible to hold a massive Thanksgiving celebration this year, planning to send out invites to a crazy amount of people. Jeff’s argument was that it’s Cindy’s idea but that he was up for it because  _ you only live once _ . Jeffrey called him out on it right away, knowing just as well as the rest of the family that this could have easily been Jeff’s suggestion too. 

Currently, they’d been planning to invite all of the parents and siblings with their families from Taylor, James and Sarah families. Of course Fran, Tyler and Channing were invited too, even asking Will and Mikel’s families who they’d never met, after finding out that they always spend Thanksgiving with them. Tobin would have most likely shook her head with a questioning look at anyone who’d come up with a plan like this, but it was her parents so she didn’t even get as far as looking surprised. She already knew that they would end up with more people than she could count, since her usual family that spends thanksgiving with them was coming too, but her mother was organized so she wasn’t worried.

Sarah’s family had stepped in to help right away too. After both working in real estate for years on end before retiring, they still own a lakehouse in Texas. Due to having the right contacts and knowing how much this property could be worth in the future, they put an offer on the barn that was conveniently located next to a lake with large acres of land surrounding it. They’d spent five years working on it, both with help and by themselves, to end up with the modern interior they have now. Being well educated in their field of work, instead of selling it for a much higher price than it was originally up for, the now twelve bedroom house was available to book for a holiday at any point throughout the year. Over the years, the popularity of it has only grown and they were still making more than a fair share of money from it, as well as knowing that they’d eventually put it up for sale, unless Sarah or her older sister would want to take it over. When hearing about Cindy and Jeff’s plans, they offered it up right away, knowing that it would be the perfect accommodation for so many of them, with another rentable lake house a five minute drive away that is owned by one of her close friends if they needed it, meaning they wouldn’t have to pay to stay in either of them. 

Christen didn’t have much work to do this weekend, meaning she went to help Tobin in coaching the soccer team again. They were all sat on the turf, just making random conversation with the players after finishing five minutes earlier, when someone put their hand on Christen and Tobin’s shoulder. 

“Heyyyy,” Kelley smirks, flopping down in between them. 

“What have you done?” Christen asks right away, recognizing the look on Kelley’s face. 

Tobin pauses her conversation with Bailey and Faith, turning her attention towards the pair on the other side of her. 

“Soooo…” Kelley starts again, “I may or may not be coming to dinner with you guys tonight.” 

Tobin starts laughing at her, knowing that it’s such a typical Kelley move to come and announce it instead of asking them. 

“I hate to break it to you, but we have plans with the fam today.” Christen tells her, being more than used to Kelley randomly turning up at their house sometimes. She’s still respectful and also a lot better since Tobin moved in, but still makes her appearance every now and then. 

“I know,” Kelley continues, giving Christen a skeptical look. “I was texting Tyler earlier and I bribed her into letting me come too.” 

Tobin rolls her eyes with a laugh, “Of course you did.” 

“Anything to see my favorite Press sibling.” Kelley jokes, earning a disapproving look from Tobin. “Channing would be offended.” 

“I love Channing as well!” She quickly clarifies, “I just haven’t seen her in a  _ long  _ time.” 

“I was kidding.” Tobin laughs, finding it funny how fast Kelley felt the need to step in and ensure that she made herself clear. 

“I’m joining whatever little gathering this is.” They hear Kristie announce from behind them, turning their heads to see her sit down too. Tobin waves to the team as they all leave, turning around to face the group as well then. 

“I have a suggestion.” Kristie starts, “Well, it’s more of an idea but I don’t know if you’ll be up for it.”

“Which is?” Christen wonders, waiting for her to continue. 

“Since it’s a World Cup year, I was wondering if you guys, Alex and Julie would want to fly out to France with me to support Rach.” Kristie’s eyes flick between the group, trying to gauge their reaction. “The tickets for the games would all be dealt with for free as we’d have access to the friends and family section, so it would only be the hotel and flights. I’m booking mine next week, so I thought I’d at least ask you guys.” 

“I’ll have to look into flights and check price wise, but I love the idea.” Kelley nods, thinking over it in her head. “Would you send me the dates please and then I’ll look if I’m free for those weeks?” 

Kristie nods, not expecting them to make a decision right then anyway.

“Us too, as we have my Mom’s massive Thanksgiving party that we just booked our flights for too, so we’ll have to look into the money.” Tobin explains, knowing she won’t go into a discussion with Christen about it here. 

She happily agrees, sending them the dates that she would be flying out and telling them more about the plans for that time. Kristie was planning on leaving on the first day of summer break, which would give her three full days before the first game. 

\-------

“What do you think about going to the World Cup?” Christen asks Tobin the following night, as she takes another bite of her chicken fajita, looking up at the woman sitting opposite her. 

“I think it would be so much fun!” Tobin smiles right away, “You never know how many opportunities we’ll get to go to one, especially without paying for the tickets, so I’m down if you are.” 

Christen nods, feeling excited about the idea too but trying to work their plans for the rest of the year out. “So we’d be able to go to the World Cup this year, we already have our Thanksgiving flights booked, and then we’d just need to sort our Christmas ones out.” She pulls a face, making Tobin laugh. “That’s a lot of money.” 

“If we don’t go on any other trips for the year then it’s not much more than we’d usually spend.” Tobin tries to calculate in her head, chuckling when she can't help but think of her parents. “You know what my dad would say, you only live once. Plus there’s only a World Cup every four years and who’s to say that we’ll ever have a friend playing in one again.” 

“We have Jeffrey.” Christen laughs, knowing that it’s different to when they’re going with their friends. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s do it.” 

Tobin holds up her hand, waiting for Christen to high five it as if she'd just achieved something. It's just another moment to add to the list of Tobin having an impact on the way Christen lives her life. Three years ago, she would have never gone from spending the summer at home to booking a flight to France within two days. She would have also never agreed to it this easily, but seeing Tobin as sure and relax as ever, made Christen want to go right away. She could tell that Tobin had a good feeling about this, and even if it turns out to be a complete waste of time, she knows that she will still have the best time with Tobin.

“You know,” Christen starts again, looking up at Tobin. “Travelling the world with you is pretty fun.” 

“It’s pretty fun with you too.” Tobin grins, holding Christen’s gaze. 

\------- 

The next two weeks fly by, and before they know it it’s Tobin’s birthday. Tobin’s birthday fell on a Friday this year, making it exactly three weeks before they’re due to fly out to Paris. 

Perry had been selected to go to a work meeting in Los Angeles in just over a week's time, so she would be coming to stay with them for four nights before making her way back to New Jersey.

Christen got up earlier on Tobin’s birthday, making them both a cup of coffee and bagels before crawling back into bed. She rests the tray on the nightstand, rolling over towards Tobin. 

“Tobs.” Christen whispers, running her fingers down Tobin’s arm and back up again. 

“Baby, wake up.” She tries again when she gets no response, knowing very well what a challenge it can be to get Tobin to open her eyes in the morning. After repeating herself again, she decides to try a different approach and gently stir her awake instead. 

Christen chuckles at how cute Tobin looks when she sees Tobin’s eyebrows furrow and her lips part slightly. She brushes Tobin’s hair out of her face, leaving light kisses on her face. 

When Tobin finally opens her eyes, Christen gives her a wide smile before sitting up and singing for her. Tobin chuckles lightly, looking up at her with a loving look in her eyes. 

“You should audition for America’s Got Talent!” Tobin jokes when Christen is done. 

“That’s what I’ve been saying all this time.” Christen replies, leaning down to kiss her. 

Tobin pulls Christen down before she can move away again. “Thank you!” She says, hugging Christen into her. 

Christen holds her just as tightly, attempting to pull away again after a few minutes had passed. “Baby, you’re gonna have to let me go.” 

“Nuh-uh,” Tobin refuses, hiding her face in Christen’s neck. “It’s early and I want birthday cuddles.” 

“I have coffee and bagels with cream cheese.” She offers, watching as Tobin excitedly lifts her head up. 

Christen moves back, reaching for the tray and passing Tobin’s cup of coffee over to her. Tobin, still not fully awake, leans into Christen as she takes a bite of her food. 

“I’m still not happy about the fact that work ruined my plans for today.” Tobin pouts, making Christen give her a confused look. “What do you mean?” 

“I would have much rather had you naked in my bed all morning than having to get up at half-past six just to be stuck around teenagers all day.” Tobin frowns, “They’re all great kids, but there’s many things that I’d rather be doing on my birthday.” 

“You got plenty of sex last night, I’m sure you’ll survive for the day” Christen chuckles, “We can always talk about that wish again tomorrow morning.” 

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that.” 

They finish eating their breakfast, Christen moving the tray to the ground and giving Tobin her presents. She’d gotten Tobin a sweatshirt that she knew Tobin would love but probably never spend her own money on, a picture frame with Tobin’s favorite photograph of them for her nightstand, and a bouquet of flowers because she can’t be fooled into thinking that Tobin doesn’t love getting flowers too. 

The only reason why Christen was willing to push their original plan of a date night back by one day, is because their friends all roped them into going out to dinner together. 

After Tobin manages to convince Christen to shower together, they get ready and head to work. They walk into the office thirty-five minutes before their first lesson, opening the door to find Julie and Alex with a  _ Happy Birthday  _ banner on the wall. 

Just like Christen had done earlier this morning, they both start singing off-pitch. Christen looks over to see Tobin blush with a smile, knowing how much she hates getting attention on her birthday. She kisses Tobin on the cheek, walking over to drop her bags off at her desk. 

“This is so sweet.” Christen chuckles once they stop singing, watching as Tobin walks over to hug them both. 

They finish their work days at normal time, driving home first and getting changed before they’re meeting up downtown in two hours time. Christen simply touches up her makeup and gets changed before heading back downstairs. She walks out onto the back patio, sitting down in one of the chairs and pulling out her MacBook to finish some work so she’s free for the weekend. 

Tobin’s phone expectantly starts ringing whilst she’s getting ready. Her parents had been waiting to call her all day, so she knew they would as soon as she got home. 

“Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.” Tobin greets through the phone at her parents, waving back at them when she accepts the FaceTime. 

They both give her a bright smile, saying happy birthday. “Have you got any plans for tonight?” Jeff asks as Tobin takes her phone into the bathroom to finish applying her natural makeup. 

“Uhm, yeah.” Tobin looks at the phone, “We’re going out for dinner with the usual friends from work.” 

“That’ll be nice.” Cindy smiles at her, disappointed that she hasn’t seen her daughter on her birthday in years but relieved that she’s happy. Her motherly protection kicks in sometimes and she has to remind herself that her youngest daughter is also an adult, who’s more than capable of looking after herself. “I bet you loved having to wake up early on your birthday.”

“Don’t remind me.” Tobin groans with a laugh, “Christen actually made me coffee and breakfast to have in bed this morning, so I can’t complain.”

“Well, lucky you.” Jeff laughs, “I never get breakfast in bed on my birthdays.” 

“Mom, step up your game!” Tobin jokes, “I even got bagels with cream cheese. It doesn’t get much better than that.” 

“Sorry!” Cindy laughs, giving them a mixture of an apologetic and teasing look. 

“Speaking of Christen, is she there?” Jeff asks when he realizes that they’d been speaking to Tobin this whole time. Tobin finishes off her makeup, turning the light in the bathroom off and grabbing her leather jacket, remembering that she left her wallet downstairs when they came in. 

“She should be.” Tobin laughs as she looks around and checks that she has everything, “I’m not sure where she disappeared to.” 

She walks down the stairs, leaving her jacket on the kitchen counter on the way. Tobin spots Christen sitting outside, opening the patio door and walking towards her. Christen gives her a small smile when she sees her coming, making some space for Tobin to sit on the armrest of her chair. 

Cindy and Jeff stay on the call with them until they realize that they have to head out soon, not wanting to be late when it was Tobin’s birthday that they were celebrating. 

Christen drives them to the restaurant, insisting that it was only fair for Tobin to have some drinks on her birthday. Instead of taking an Uber, she insisted that she would drive since she wasn’t in the mood to drink tonight. 

They made reservations for one of the tables outside, not wanting to disturb any guests inside since there was a group of them. 

Tobin finds herself sitting in between Rachel and Christen, seeing Rachel for the last time before they would fly out to France for the World Cup. Julie, Alex and Kelley had all booked the same flight to join them, whilst Servando wasn’t able to come due to him having already organized a part-time job he tends to take on in their local community during the summer break. Since Servando wasn’t joining them, but had still convinced Alex to go, Zach decided that he’d be staying at home too. He didn’t know Rachel as well as the rest of the group, and he decided he’d fly out to visit his family instead. 

When Kelley and Christen head inside to find a waitress and order some more drinks for their table, a slightly-tipsy Rachel turns to Tobin. 

“So now that you’re another year older, is it time to propose to Christen yet?” 

Tobin has to stop herself from choking on her food, her eyes going wide. When she doesn’t answer Rachel, something seems to click and she leans in closer to whisper to Tobin. 

“I was only joking, but what Tobin! Oh my gosh.” She checks to see that everyone else is still distracted in other conversations, whispering for only Tobin to hear. “When, what, how? Oh my gosh.” 

Tobin laughs at Rachel’s shocked face, watching as she pulls herself together and forms a sentence that makes sense. “When are you planning on doing it?” 

“I’m not 100% sure yet, but I was thinking about maybe doing it on our last full day in France. I want it to be somewhere special and not just here at home.” Tobin explains, watching as Rachel shakes her head.

“No, no, no!” Rachel quickly argues, making Tobin give her a confused look. “You can’t wait until the end, no way. You should do it somewhere in between because then you have time to celebrate in France too, rather than just propose. I can help you find a place if you want me to, but you should definitely propose throughout the trip.” 

Tobin shakes her head, understanding where Rachel is coming from but remembering why she went against that idea in first place. “It’ll take away from the fact that we’re there for  _ your  _ World Cup and I’d feel terrible about that.” 

“Tobin!” Rachel deadpans, “I’ve already played and won at the last World Cup - if everything goes to plan, then I’ll be playing in at least one or two more after this one.” She gives Tobin a serious look, “You’re only going to propose to Christen once, so don’t let my life impact that. I just want it to be somewhere that’s perfect for the two of you, so I want you to decide on the right moment no matter where it is or when, and then afterwards we can all celebrate you guys.” 

“Trust me, having two of my closest friends getting married means more to me than any World Cup ever could.” She finishes off, looking around again and seeing Christen approach in the distance. 

“Okay!” Tobin nods with a smile.

Rachel turns her head towards Tobin again, “Promise?” 

“Promise!” Tobin agrees, changing the topic before Christen reaches them. 

In the end, Christen is glad that she decided to drive, because a tipsy Tobin was almost as challenging as a drunk Tobin. 

Once they’re home, it takes her more than enough time to convince a clingy Tobin to get ready for bed, whilst Christen was more than ready to crash and just fall asleep. She climbs under the covers, curling into herself and trying to warm up as she waits for Tobin. 

Tobin joins her a minute later, wrapping her arms around Christen from behind and kissing her shoulder. She moves her lips to Christen’s neck, and when her hands start to wander, Christen knows exactly what she’s trying to do. 

She moves her own hand to find Tobin’s that was now resting on her hip, intertwining their fingers instead and turning around so they’re face-to-face. “Please?” Tobin pouts when Christen raises their hands and kisses the back of Tobin’s. 

Christen shakes her head, “No, not tonight, Tobs.” 

“But it’s my birthday!” Tobin frowns, making Christen laugh. She would usually do anything to get out of people mentioning that it was her birthday, but as soon as it came to Christen refusing to do something, Tobin saw it as her perfect opportunity to pull the birthday card. 

“You’ve had plenty to drink tonight, so I think it’s best if we don’t.” Christen insists, not being one to ever take advantage of someone like that, especially if alcohol has been involved.

Tobin, still not giving in, decides to try one more time. “Chris, we have sex all of the time. I’m pretty sure you’d know by now if I wouldn’t want to.” 

Christen kisses Tobin’s forehead, “That might be so, but still. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with the fact that I’m sober and you’re not. Besides, I know very well that you’d do the same if the roles were reversed, baby.” 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Tobin sighs with defeat. 

“That doesn’t mean that I’ll let you sleep on the other side of the bed though.” Christen complains, pulling Tobin closer and waiting for her to move her head onto Christen’s chest. 

\-------

Less than four days later, they get a phone call from Perry whilst they’re driving home from work. 

“I’m so sorry, but I think I might have to cancel my flight for this weekend.” Rings through the speakers of the car, making Tobin and Christen give each other a confused look. 

“Why?” Tobin wonders, “Is everything alright?” 

Perry lets out a deep sigh, “Kayden’s been sick for the past few days, so I can’t leave Taylor with one sick child and one healthy one. It’ll either end in two sick kids, or Cole doing whatever he wants and wrecking the house.” 

“For one, Cole is great and would never do that!” Tobin starts with a slight chuckle, giving Christen a look and nodding before continuing. “And two, you can bring Cole if that’s possible for you. We’ll look after him whilst you’re in the meeting, it’s not a problem.” 

“I can’t mix up my kids and work, that’s having my priorities in the wrong place.” Perry stresses, leaning her head back in her office chair. 

Christen stops at the junction, waiting for the red light to turn green. “Per, you’re a mom - there’s no way of keeping that out of your job or your job away from your kids. That doesn’t make you a bad parent, it just makes you a hard working one that has a full-time job and still does an amazing job at raising her sons. I’m sure that Kayden would be more than fine staying at home with Taylor, and Cole would probably love getting to fly out with you.” 

“Of course Taylor would be able to look after him, I have no doubt about that, but would that make me a bad mother? Cole’s summer break starts this Friday anyway, but I can’t leave my sick child, can I?” Perry wonders a little skeptically.

“Do you have the option of not going to this meeting?” Christen questions, not knowing what the meeting was for in first place. 

Perry thinks on it for a long moment, but decides to just be truthful. “Not if I want to be in on this new project.” 

“It’s only for four days and you still have a few days until then. Why don’t you book Cole in for the flight too, and if Kayden gets any worse you’ve got the option of just cancelling it last minute. You don’t have to make a decision right this second.” 

“Why do you guys always know the right things to say?” Perry asks them with a laugh, hearing Tobin chuckle in response. “Because we’re the best!” 

“Alright, Tobs, don’t get ahead of yourself.” Perry laughs, earning a  _ hey  _ from her. 

Just as planned, Perry arrives in California with Cole later that week. She has two days where she can prepare, plan and present her part of the meeting. Her boss had given her three extra travel days, so she would be able to stay in California for another two days before flying back. 

“Turns out you were right and Cole has been bouncing around the house for days. I’m not sure if he’s more excited to see you guys or to go somewhere with just me, though!” Perry tells them as soon as they arrive, watching Cole run up and hug both of them. 

“We’ll happily keep him here.” Tobin offers, picking him up and carrying him on his hip. 

“In your dreams, Tobin!” Perry sternly shakes her head whilst Christen goes to carry one of the bags. 

Perry is able to relax Sunday night, but had been trying to go over her notes all of Monday. Whilst Cole was a great child, he wasn’t able to keep himself distracted for longer than two hours, wanting his mother’s attention after that. By the time Christen and Tobin get home from work, they can see that Perry looks past the point of exhaustion. 

Christen goes upstairs to get changed and take her makeup off, just like she usually would. “Do you think we should give Perry a couple hours to go over everything? I’m not convinced that she got much peace whilst we were out.” 

Tobin agrees easily, telling Christen she’ll be downstairs in a moment. 

“Cole?” Christen calls out, trying to find where her nephew had disappeared to. She starts laughing when he comes running towards her, launching himself into her arms. “What do you say to building some sandcastles on the beach?” 

“Can we get some ice cream too?” He looks at her with excitement in his eyes, as if this was going to be the highlight of his day. 

“I’m sure we can!” Christen nods, letting him down when he starts wiggling his legs. He runs back to Perry, tapping her on the leg. “Mommy, Auntie Chrissy said I can go to the beach with her.” 

“Oh, did she now?” Perry laughs at his excitement. 

Cole nods his head eagerly, “Please can I go?” 

“Of course you can.” She agrees right away, “As long as you promise to be good and listen to Christen.” 

“Alright, come on then.” She holds her hand out for Cole to hold, “We can play some soccer in the back yard until Tobin is ready.” Christen walks into the garage, picking up the soccer ball that they kept in there and walking outside through the patio doors where Cole was already waiting for her. Their back yard may not be the biggest, but it had more than enough space for them to pass the soccer ball. 

Perry mouths a  _ thank you  _ to Christen, which she just shrugs off like it’s no big deal. 

Five minutes later they walk down the road towards the seafront, which is only a block away. They spend an hour switching between building things in the sand and running into the water, something Cole doesn’t get to do all that often, living in the middle of the city with a just over two hour drive to the nearest beach. 

Once he gets more tired, they walk further towards the shops, finding their favorite ice cream shop and eating it back in the sand. By the time they’re back home, it’s been almost three hours. 

“I think we all need a shower before we make dinner.” Christen chuckles when she walks in, thinking about how much sand is in her hair. 

When Tobin sees that Perry is still working, she volunteers to help Cole shower whilst Christen showers too. After Christen finally managed to brush and wash most of the sand out of her curls, something she is more than used to, she finds Tobin getting ready to shower too. 

“What do you want for dinner?” Christen wonders, tying her hair up in a bun. 

“Maybe something easy since we’re all tired?” Tobin shrugs, “We’ve still got some ready-made pizza’s or lasagne, I think.” 

“I’ll have a look.” Christen nods, leaving Tobin with a kiss. 

Cole comes up to her with a big smile that looks just like Perry and Tobin’s, asking for Christen to carry him. “Are you all tired now?” She chuckles, not being used to him constantly wanting to be carried around. 

He nods into her shoulder, resting his head there. “Are you hungry? Do you want anything to eat?” Christen wonders, rubbing his back and walking into the kitchen. 

Cole nods, lifting his head up again and giving her a cheeky grin. “Can I have some chicken nuggets?” 

“Lucky for you, we just bought some for you! Tobin had a feeling that you might want some.” 

  
“Yes!” He fist pumps, making Christen laugh. She ends up putting the lasagne in the oven for herself, Tobin and Perry to share. 

By the time Perry finally finishes everything she had to prepare, Tobin and Cole are busy watching cartoons. She walks into the kitchen to find Christen there.

“Did you manage to get everything done?” Christen wonders as she looks up from her phone, where she had been texting Channing. 

“Yeah,” Perry nods with a deep sigh, leaning against the kitchen island. “This whole meeting was just predicted to go terrible from the start - I just got an email saying they moved it forward by an hour.” 

Christen looks at her with surprise, noticing it’s already late afternoon for such a change. “Can they do that?” 

“Apparently so.” Perry shrugs, running her hands over her face. “What am I supposed to do now, because you’ll both still be working?” 

“First of all, you need to just breathe. You’re going to give yourself a heart attack if you don’t stop stressing.” Christen moves to put her hands on Perry’s shoulders.

“I can’t take my seven-year-old into a business meeting.” 

“You’re right, you can’t.” Christen starts, standing next to her and pulling her into a hug from the side. “That doesn’t mean stressing about it is going to help, though.” 

“You’ve been working all day. Let’s just eat dinner now and then we can think of something with Tobin once Cole’s in bed.” Christen suggests, “We’ll figure something out!” 

“Okay,” Perry takes a deep breath, “And thank you - for playing with him and taking him to the beach. I’m sure he had a blast.” 

“You don’t have to thank me.” Christen shakes her head, grinning at her before going to check on the food in the oven. “And if there’s anyone that had a blast, it was me.” 

After they ate dinner and Cole was asleep in bed, out like a light within seconds, Perry joins them both on the seats out on the patio. 

“So, they moved it forward by an hour?” Christen asks her when she’s settled into her chair. 

Perry nods in response, “Yeah, which means I’d have to get an Uber before you guys are done with work.” 

“Well, I’d actually be finished by then but Tobin is coaching during that time. I’ll still be at the school, but I could always look after Cole if that’s okay with you?” Christen calculated the hours in her head, realizing that Perry would have to leave just as Tobin starts practice with the soccer team. 

Perry chuckles, “You say that as if I don’t trust you with my kids.” 

“No, I just want to make sure that I’m not overstepping or anything like that!” Christen assures her.

“Chris,” Perry interrupts her. “I trust you with them just as much as I trust Tobin or my parents with them.” Christen gives her a small smile as Perry continues. “Are you sure that wouldn’t be a problem?” 

“It’s the last week of the school year anyway, so I don’t have much extra work to do and I can do my best to get that finished beforehand.” Christen nods, getting up and grabbing something before sitting back down. “Just take my car tomorrow, and that way you can drop him off at our school before going to your meeting, without having to pay for an Uber. If you text me once you’re there, I can meet you in the car park and then we’ll drive home after Tobin’s done.”

“You guys have my own life more together than I do.” Perry laughs, thanking Christen and reminding herself to put the car keys somewhere where she’ll remember. 

They sit outside in the humid late-spring air and talk as the sun starts to set. When the long day starts to catch up with Christen, she decides that she’ll head upstairs, wanting to give Tobin and Perry the chance to catch up privately. 

“I’m exhausted, so I’m gonna go to bed.” She announces as she stands up from her chair, picking up her empty glass of wine from the table. 

Christen walks over to Tobin’s chair, leaning down to peck her lips. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, babe!” Tobin smiles, “I’ll come to bed soon too.” 

“Night, Chris.” Perry calls as Christen walks back inside, leaving her glass in the sink and locking the front door before going upstairs. 

It was strange for Christen and Tobin to be going to bed at different times, something that didn’t occur a whole lot. They could count on hand the number of times they went to bed separately, normally always going together. If one of them was less tired, they’d usually just be content to still lie there or read a book before also going to sleep. 

Tobin waits until she can see that Christen’s disappeared upstairs through the glass doors. Seeing her with Cole all afternoon and then coming home to be so willing to help her sister out, made Tobin’s heart burst and love Christen even more - if that were possible. Suddenly, she can’t keep it a secret anymore, pulling Perry out of her chair and towards the garage. 

“I have to show you something!” Tobin whispers, as they reach the door leading to the garage from inside the house. 

“What?” Perry wonders, confused as to why Tobin was whispering and acting strange. 

“You can’t tell anyone this, because you’ll be the only person that knows. Mom, Dad, Katie and Jeff all don’t, so you better not say a word to any of them!” Tobin speaks in a clear tone, making Perry throw her hands up. “I won’t, I won’t.”

She walks over to the small cupboard in the corner of the garage - the one where she stores all of her art stuff. It’s just big enough to still leave space to fit two cars into the garage, also being the least likely place in the house that Christen would go on. Normally, she would have settled on something like her work stuff, but since they work together, it isn’t uncommon for them to look through each other's work stuff or accidentally get something mixed up. 

Tobin reaches down into the bottom drawer, moving the clean and brand new brushes she has at the front of it, and pulling out a small box. She opens it, revealing a ring to Perry. In the end, she’d found the perfect one. It had a golden band, with the small diamonds just like Fran’s sister’s old engagement ring. Apart from being gold, unlike the silver one Fran showed her to help spark some ideas, it also had three crystals in the centre of it instead of a large squared one. She’d fallen in love with the gold and crystals right away, getting the band personalized afterwards to make it more unique. 

“I’m going to propose to Christen.” Tobin reveals to her, biting her lip as she waits for Perry’s reaction. 

“You’re-” Perry squeals loudly, but is cut off when Tobin covers her mouth with her free hand. “Ew, gross.” She says as she pulls Tobin’s hand away.

“Sorry!” Perry apologizes to her for practically yelling, “You’re going to propose to Christen?” 

“That’s the plan!” Tobin nods with a nervous smile, “Hopefully everything will go right and she’ll say yes.” 

Perry takes the box into her hands, looking at the ring from a closer angle. “This is a beautiful ring, Tobs! She’s going to love it.” 

She hands it back over, watching as Tobin carefully puts it back into its original spot, covering it up so it wouldn’t be obvious to anyone going on the cupboard. Perry pulls Tobin into a tight hug once she turns around again, “This is so exciting, I’m so happy for you!” 

“Thank you.” Tobin smiles her bright smile as she pulls away, squeezing Perry’s hand and then turning all of the lights in the garage off again. They left their cars out in the driveway on most work days anyway, so Christen wouldn’t be in there all that much.

“Alright, I’m heading to bed too.” Perry announces once they’re back in the kitchen, knowing she has a long day ahead of her tomorrow. “I love you, Tobs and I’m really really happy for you.” 

Tobin closes the glass doors again, turning the light off in the living room and making her way upstairs too. She heads to her bedroom, finding a sleeping Christen. 

Not wanting to accidentally wake her up, she quietly takes her clothes off, putting on a shirt to sleep in and tiptoeing into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. Tobin checks that Christen set the alarm on her phone, knowing she always does but figuring she’d rather be sure, and then plugs her own phone in on the other side of the bed. She crawls under the covers, shuffling closer to Christen and leaving a light kiss on her forehead. Tobin wraps an arm around her, resting it on Christen’s hip. 

Christen, who must have drifted into slight consciousness when Tobin climbed into bed, moves closer to Tobin. She nuzzles her head into Tobin’s chest, wrapping an arm around her too. “Love you, baby.” Christen hums quietly, mumbling the words in her half-asleep state. 

“I love you too.” Tobin smiles, closing her eyes and feeling Christen pull her in closer. 

\-------

They manage to run everything smoothly the next morning, being fully prepared with a plan. Christen and Tobin head out first thing in the morning, teaching the full day. Tuesday’s were always their busiest day, both of them having a full day of lessons and then Tobin having to coach for an hour and a half. It was also the day that Christen was least likely to help her, simply because she’s busy doing her own preparations. 

Today, she made sure to finish everything in her break, so she’d just be able to spend time with Cole. The couple only get to see him two or three times a year, so they always ensure to spend as much time as possible with him when they can 

She was sitting in the office, waiting for Perry to text her so she could meet them in the car park. Christen finishes the sentence she was typing, heading out to try and recognize her car. She spots them on the other side, walking over and watching as Cole hops out of the car. Christen makes quick conversation with Perry, simply wishing her good luck whilst Perry thanks her again. 

Cole starts jumping excitedly as soon as he spots Tobin. “There’s auntie Toby!” 

“Should we go and say hi?” Christen asks him, just planning to go with whatever he wants to do. 

Cole nods eagerly, “I’m going to scare her.” 

“Oh, are you?” Christen chuckles, watching as he runs a few steps ahead. She’s curious to see whether he’s willing to get that close or not, considering the fact that all of the girls were gathered around and listening to Tobin. 

  
Surprisingly, he doesn’t stop, running straight into Tobin and making her jump. Christen, only a few feet behind him, starts laughing at the same time as all of the girls. 

“I got you!” Cole says through fits of laughter. 

“You did, bud.” Tobin laughs too, as Christen catches up and joins them. 

“I present to you, your new coach : Cole Brown.” Christen jokes, watching as Cole starts laughing again and turns around to her. 

“No, auntie Chrissy!” Cole shakes his head through a giggle, “I’m the boss, remember?” 

“Right, yes, sorry! Obviously you’re the boss.” 

He turns shy when he realizes that there are more eyes on him, taking a small step back. Tobin continues talking, giving out the instructions, when Cole tugs on Christen’s shirt. 

She crouches down so she’s at the same height as him, waiting for him to talk to her. Cole leans over, whispering in her ear. “Are we allowed to play some soccer?” 

Christen realizes that he must have seen the bag of soccer balls lying on the side, nodding her head at him. “Of course we are. Why don’t you grab a soccer ball and then we can find somewhere?” It makes her so happy to see her nephew have the same passion that she used to have when she was his age, constantly in search of a soccer ball and someone to play the sport with. It lets her see the fun aspect of the sport again, the one before it turned into a youth national team and collegiate career - before all of the pressure started. 

He sneaks behind Tobin, collecting one of the soccer balls and carrying it over to Christen. “Race you!” He yells, running away from Christen. Christen just shakes her head with a laugh, running after him. 

They go to the goal that Tobin isn’t using, Christen pretending to be a goalkeeper and letting Cole score on her over and over again. Since it was their last training session before summer break, Tobin was only doing smaller drills. When Christen sees them training one of the simpler ones that involves shooting at the goal at the end, she takes Cole over to where they are training on the other side of the field. 

She sneaks them both in between, doing the drill together - a lot slower than the other players - and letting Cole score at the end. When the ball reaches the net and he throws his hands up into a mini celebration, as if it’s the greatest thing he’s ever done, Christen runs over to him, picking him up and spinning him around. 

“I need a break!” She laughs, sitting down on the ground next to where Tobin was standing. “You’re too good, Cole. I can’t keep up.” 

“You’re just getting old.” He remarks, making Christen and Tobin burst out laughing. 

Christen pulls him down onto her lap, tickling him. “You’re so cheeky!” 

Insisting he still has energy left, Cole runs around a few more times, then deciding he’s had enough and drinking some water before sitting back down on Christen’s lap. 

“You’re like a little koala.” Christen chuckles as she wraps her arms around him, pulling Cole into her. She’s noticed how clingy he’s being during this stay, compared to how he usually was. He’s always asking to be carried or leaving no space between them, something that makes her heart melt. Christen knows this stage won’t last forever and that he’s growing up, meaning in a year's time he won’t be seeking out for this all of the time, so she’s told herself to cherish it whilst she still can. 

They both contently sit that way for the last fifteen minutes, waiting for Tobin to be ready. 

“Are any of you watching the World Cup this summer?” Tobin wonders as they’re all taking their cleats off. There’s an echo of responses, most of them being a  _ yes _ .

“Do you watch the World Cup?” Maddie asks Tobin, unsure if her coach is interested in watching the National Team play. 

“We’re actually flying out to France next week and seeing it live!” Tobin tells them, excited for her upcoming trip. 

“You are? That’s so cool!” Faith exclaims with excitement. 

“We’re betraying the States and supporting England though.” Christen chips in, earning a gasp from one of the girls. “You can’t do that!”

“It’s worse for you, Chris.” Tobin laughs, “You’re the one that played on the youth National Team!” 

“You played for the youth National Team?” Maddie asks, surprised, never hearing much of Christen talk about her background with soccer. 

Christen nods, “Yeah, I played all through College too but ended up retiring in my senior year after a bad injury.” 

“Wait, why England?” Bailey wonders, confused as to why they wouldn’t support their own team. 

“One of our friends plays for them, so we’re going to support her with a group of friends!” 

“That’s if Kelley makes it to the airport on time.” Christen chuckles. 

“So is it true that teachers have like ‘ _ cliques’ _ ?” Bailey asks, “Everyone says that, but I’ve always wondered if that’s actually true.” 

“Kind of, I guess. For the most part, everyone gets along with each other anyway, but some are definitely closer than others.” Christen shrugs, “We have some very close friends here and are going to the World Cup with four of them, because two decided they didn’t want to go, but yeah I guess you could say it that way. It’s just like normal friendships really, you’re always going to be closer to some people than to others.” 

“Who are you going with?” Faith chips in again. 

“Is this a Q and A?” Christen laughs, “Us two, O’Hara, Morgan, Mewis and one of the Ertz’s. The other Ertz and Carrasco were supposed to come too, but one of them is busy and the other didn’t want to be stuck with all of us for a month.” 

“Any more questions whilst we’re here?” Christen jokes, making them laugh. 

They all head out soon after, Cole falling asleep in the car during the short drive back. Tobin carries him into the house and lies him down on the bed in the room he’s been staying in, figuring that a short nap won’t harm him. 

She finds Christen downstairs, Tobin pulling her in by resting their foreheads together. “You’re the sweetest aunt Ellie and the boys could ever ask for!” 

“I think that’s been you since the day they were born, but I try my best to be a close second.” Christen grins, kissing Tobin. 

“I love you.” Tobin says simply, wrapping Christen into a tight hug after kissing her again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's big things cominggggg...  
> -  
> Sorry it's taken me so long to update, there's been a lot going on. Hopefully the next chapter will be up sooner, but here's a 20k one to make up for the long wait. Also in case you're wondering, yes the dates are off compared to the ones in real life (but that's okay because it's only a fic) and yes teachers actually get paid what they deserve in this (which is why they can afford these trips).  
> -  
> Little note : It's super late, so I'll read through this again tomorrow and correct any mistakes. You'll just have to ignore them for now, sorry.


	21. A Night To Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's gonna be the night, to last forever.  
> And to never, ever, ever, forget.  
> -  
> Before going into this chapter, I just wanted to say thank you so much for all of the sweet comments and support on this story, but especially on the last chapter, I appreciate it so much and love reading them! :)

“Let’s go, Rach!” Christen cheers loudly as she sees Rachel lining up to take a penalty kick in the eighty-seventh minute of the game. 

It feels like the whole stadium is silent as they wait for her to take the shot. The current score in their first group stage game is 1-1, leaving neither England nor Scotland at an advantage. 

It hasn’t been long since they arrived in Paris, only two days ago, and Christen was already loving the city. The day before the game they’d visited the Louvre Museum and went for lunch at a small local coffee shop. 

Rachel strides towards the ball, chipping the ball into the top right corner of the net. Within seconds she’s huddled in between her teammates. They’d won the first game - there was no catching up for Scotland now. They only had three more minutes and an additional two minutes of extra time - they weren’t able to come back from that. 

Rachel’s parents, Martyn and Louise, and her older brother, Andy, were sitting with them, cheering just as loudly. She’s been busy with training and preparations for their first game for the past few days, so they hadn’t had a chance to see her for more than five minutes yet. Kristie had introduced the group to Rachel’s family, assuming that they’d be spending a lot of time together throughout the trip. 

They didn’t get to see Rachel until they all got back to the hotel, walking down to the team hotel that was a couple blocks away from theirs. Letting Kristie greet her first, everyone else waits until they congratulate her. 

“For someone that hates taking penalty kicks, you’re annoyingly good at them.” Christen chuckles as she hugs her, “You killed it out there!” 

“Thanks, Chris!” Rachel gives her a bright smile, “And thank you for being here, it means so much to me.” 

Christen quickly waves her off, “I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.” 

“Game one down!” Tobin cheers as she moves to hug Rachel too. 

They all grab dinner together in one of the classic local restaurants, going together with Rachel’s family and strolling through the streets of the city on their way back. Rachel only has one team meeting scheduled for the morning, so they plan ahead on what they want to do, arranging everything in time so they would just be able to relax and be tourists the following day. 

“It’s too early!” Tobin groans the next morning, rolling over and further into Christen - her body now fully draped across her girlfriend. 

“I hope this is comfortable for you, because it really isn’t for me.” Christen chuckles sleepily after turning the alarm on her phone off, hoping that Tobin might get off of her at any moment. 

“Mhm, very comfy.” Tobin mumbles into Christen’s shirt, not moving an inch. “I could fall asleep again here.” 

“Which you’re not going to do!” Christen quickly corrects her. She makes an attempt to shuffle out from under Tobin, but she doesn’t get far when she feels Tobin holding onto the hem of her shirt. 

Tobin’s head shoots up when Christen finishes her sentence, the rest of her body staying put. “Is that you saying that you don’t like cuddling with me?” 

“I’m not too convinced that I’d call this cuddling, Tobs.” Christen can’t help but chuckle when she looks down at her, “It’s more clinging onto me and squashing me at the same time.” 

“Hmm, we’ll have to agree to disagree on that one.” Tobin continues with a straight face, closing her eyes again. 

“Baby,” Christen whines with an eye roll, “You have to get off me, please.” 

Tobin just shakes her head from where it’s lying, not even making a sound anymore and trying desperately to drift back to sleep.

Christen moves her hands down to Tobin’s sides, about to poke or tickle them in just another attempt to get her to move, but Tobin catches on before she can go ahead with her plan. She holds onto both of Christen’s hands, keeping them where they are and not letting them get far enough to make contact with her skin. 

“I know you too well.” Tobin mumbles with a chuckle, not even bothering to lift her head up.

“Ugh, fine.” Christen sighs dramatically, “If it has to be this way.” 

She can feel Tobin’s facial expression turn into a smirk, “I knew you’d give in eventually.” 

“Oh, so you think I’m giving in?” Christen raises her eyebrows, rolling over towards the edge of the bed. 

“No! Chris!” Tobin yelps, opening her eyes and gripping onto Christen’s shirt. She moves her right leg fast enough for it to reach the floor just in time, keeping the rest of her body on the bed. “That was so mean.” 

She folds her arms, pretending to be upset whilst Christen is laughing way too hard for Tobin’s liking. Tobin stomps back over to the other side of the bed, lying down right at the edge and turning so her back is facing Christen. 

Christen starts laughing even harder at this, not stopping until she realizes that Tobin isn’t going to budge. “I never said we couldn’t cuddle - just preferably not with you lying right on top of me so I can’t breathe.” 

She shuffles closer when Tobin still doesn’t give her a reaction. Christen wraps her arm around Tobin, leaving a kiss on the back of her neck. “You know, there’s only ten more minutes until we have to get up and I’d much rather spend them cuddling with my girlfriend.” 

“Oh, so now you don’t want to be left alone?” Tobin smirks, rolling her eyes and deciding it was too early to continue teasing Christen. She rolls onto her back, about to pull Christen into her when the dark-haired girl moves and drapes her body across Tobin’s. 

“Really?” Tobin complains when she realizes what Christen is doing. 

“What?” Christen questions, lifting her head up and giving Tobin an innocent look. “It’s comfy.” 

They lock eyes, both starting to laugh at the same time. Christen shuffles off Tobin, lying on her side instead and pulling her into a short kiss. 

“It’s okay, I still love you - even if you annoy me sometimes.” 

“Well, thank god for that!” Tobin shakes her head, looking at Christen with a smile on her face. “I think I should be the one shoving you out of bed.” 

\-------

The group booked tickets for the Eiffel Tower in advance, planning ahead so they could visit it today and go up to the top. Tobin takes her camera with her, which Christen had reminded her to bring to France in first place, shooting multiple pictures of the view. Once she decides she’s got more than enough to not only look back on but also show her parents next time they see each other, she turns around to find the rest of the group on the other side. 

Tobin walks over, wrapping her arms around Christen’s shoulders from behind and looking out at the view too. 

“Did you get some nice shots?” Christen wonders, leaning into Tobin and placing her hand on top of Tobin’s arm. 

Tobin nods, “Yeah! It looks so pretty up here.” 

“Can I see them later?” She requests, always wanting to see Tobin’s photography skills. 

“Of course you can.” Tobin agrees easily, “I can’t promise that they turned out good though.” 

“Stop being so humble.” Christen rolls her eyes, turning her head to give Tobin a stern look. She leans in even closer, kissing Tobin’s cheek before looking at the view again. “You’re great at photography and they always turn out amazing.” 

Tobin shrugs with a shy smile, taking the complement and not commenting on it further. 

“You should take a picture from underneath the Eiffel Tower too.” Christen suggests as she stares at the buildings that look like a whole different world from the top of the tower. Tobin hums, nodding and asking Christen to remind her when they’re on the ground again.

“You guys are cute.” Kelley smiles genuinely, coming up to them and not teasing for once. “Can I have your camera, Tobito? I’ll take a photo of you two.” 

Tobin moves back, handing her the camera and turning around so they’re both facing Kelley. She wraps one arm around Christen, the younger woman doing the same, and both of them smiling brightly. 

After taking two or three, Kelley asks one of the other tourists to take one of all seven of them, which she’ll get Tobin to put onto her MacBook later so she can send it to their group chat. When it’s starting to get late, they slowly make their way back down so they can head towards the river.

They had tickets booked for a Seine evening boat tour, which would take them along the river just after sunset. Tobin loved getting to use her camera more again, the last time she properly used it being in London and when they went on a hike a couple of months back. She’d continuously been telling Christen that she wanted to get it back out in California, but never got around to doing so. 

Julie popped them a bottle of champagne on the boat, deciding that apart from Rachel they could all have a couple of glasses to celebrate being there. 

“To being in France for the next month and not knowing a word of french.” Alex chuckles, raising her glass. 

Christen raises her glass too, wrapping her other arm around Rachel’s shoulders. “And to Rach starting off this tournament with an amazing PK and winning the first game.” 

“I love you guys.” Rachel smiles when they all raise their glasses, leaning into Christen. “Thank you for being here and just being the sweetest friends.” 

By the time they all make it back to the hotel that night, they pack up the last of their stuff, preparing to get a cab to Le Havre in the morning. 

Their second game goes just as well as their first, winning 1-0 over Argentina and moving them up in the table of their group. After staying in Le Havre for a short four days, they fly to Nice for the next game. 

The days leading up to the game, they explore the old town - eating the local foods there and looking at the local shops. Christen and Tobin find a small gift shop on one of the roads, picking out some postcards to send back to the States to their families. 

Looking at the current standings of the table, England is almost guaranteed to make it to the knockout stages, unless they leave with a big loss.

On the day prior to the game, they visit the castle. The top of it gave them a view of the airport and mountains, Tobin using just another opportunity to get her camera out. It always made Tobin laugh how proudly Christen would look through them in their hotel room, skimming through the different images and deciding they should get a few of them printed once they’re home, so they could hang them up. 

Before they know it, it’s the final game of the group stage and England is getting ready to face Japan. 

Japan has some quick, sharp and technically talented players, but in the end they weren’t able to prevent Ellen White’s two shots hitting the back of the end. Not only do they go clean and win their group stage, they also advance to the knockout stages, feeling the hopeful aim of a potential medal getting closer. 

\-------

The first knockout game provides them with all of the confidence they need for the quarter-finals. Their 3-0 win in Valenciennes against Cameroon was an easy game for them, despite the high intensity of playing level. Despite the lack of shots on target against their own team, they still had to work past their skilled defense to get close enough to the goal. 

They travel back to Le Havre by train the next day, preparing for the second game of the knockout stage. England will be playing Norway in the quarter-finals in three days' time, so they were heading back to one of the first hotels they stayed in. 

“I loved Le Havre!” Christen smiles as she looks out of the train window, seeing the trees go past with the city in the background. “The downtown area is so cute.”

“I did too.” Tobin nods, placing her hand on Christen’s thigh. “It’ll be nice to be here again for a few days and explore it a bit more.” 

“We already have a shopping trip planned!” Christen grins proudly, watching Tobin’s head whip in her direction. 

“When were these plans made?” She wonders, trying to think back to when any of them discussed this. She didn’t mind going shopping, usually enjoying it for a few hours before eventually getting bored, but she couldn’t think of a time they’d ever planned this in. 

Christen laughs at her baffled expression, shrugging as she responds. “Last night! We’re going the day after tomorrow.” 

Tobin shrugs too, not being overly bothered about when they’re doing what. She turns to look back out of the window, just looking forward to staying in one place a little longer, especially when she enjoyed the local area so much previously. They hadn’t been able to stay there long during the group stage game, so they were all excited to see some more tourist attractions in the area. 

\-------

Christen wakes up to Tobin already being awake, burning a hole into the ceiling with her eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” Christen wonders softly, being able to see the discomfort in Tobin’s facial expressions. She turns onto her side, sitting up a little and using her closest hand to run her fingers through Tobin’s hair. 

Tobin, only just noticing that Christen’s awake, shrugs and snuggles herself further into the covers. “I’m just not feeling great and couldn’t sleep much last night.” 

Christen frowns, shuffling closer and pulling Tobin into her chest. She places the back of her hand on her forehead and then moves it to her cheek before dropping it again. “It doesn’t feel like you have a high temperature, which is good. Do you think you might be getting sick?” 

“I hope not.” Tobin mumbles, not wanting to be stuck in bed on vacation. 

“We have some paracetamol somewhere in the bathroom if you want some?” Christen asks her, remembering that they just bought a new pack last week. Tobin nods, mumbling a  _ yes, please  _ and trying to keep her tired eyes open. 

Christen gets up, rummaging through the small bag where she keeps all of her toiletries when travelling. She grabs a bottle of water out of the mini bar in the hotel room, opening the lid and sitting down on the side of the bed. 

Tobin gives her an appreciative smile, drinking some of the water afterwards and then placing the bottle on the nightstand. Christen moves back up the bed, getting her legs under the covers again and pulling Tobin in close. 

She frowns again when she hears Tobin’s small sigh as she hides her face in Christen’s neck, trying to turn away from the daylight and any other discomfort. They stay there for what could have been just fifteen minutes or over an hour, lingering in the silence as Christen presses light kisses to Tobin’s hair and just holds her. 

“You should try to get some more sleep, baby.” Christen suggests, “It might make you feel better.” 

“Yeah, I will.” Tobin agrees, opening her eyes a little to look up and find Christen’s. “You should get up though, it’s nearly eight.” 

“I’m not gonna leave you when you’re not well, Tobs.” Christen quickly shakes her head, pulling the covers higher as a protest. 

“I’m okay,” Tobin kisses her jaw, “I want you to have a nice time today. We were supposed to be going shopping with everyone, which I know you’ve been looking forward to for days now.” 

Christen doesn’t make an effort to move, staying frozen in her spot on the bed. “But I want to take care of you and make sure that you’re looked after.” 

“You can do that later. We can have a night in, just the two of us, and watch a movie.” Tobin tries to reason with her, “Babe, all I’m going to do is sleep and then sleep some more so I’m fine again for watching the game tomorrow.”

“But-” 

“No, buts.” Tobin cuts her off. “Please go...for me. I want you to have a nice time.” 

“I’m only going if I can stay at least a little longer.” Christen insists, still not moving. 

“Fine,” Tobin agrees, wanting to spend a little more time with Christen too. “But only for ten more minutes.” 

She finally agrees, holding Tobin close and closing her eyes again. Just as she’s about to fall asleep again, slowly coming out of her conscious state and into an unconscious one, Tobin moves a little further out of Christen’s arms. “Come on, you’re going to be late if you don’t get up now!” 

Christen rolls her eyes and scrunches up her nose, “You’re so annoying sometimes.” 

“Thank me later.” Tobin chuckles as Christen wonders towards the bathroom. Fifteen minutes later, she’s changed into her denim shorts and white top, with a hint of makeup on. Her hair is down in its natural curls, the way Tobin likes it best. 

Christen gets her purse, checking that her wallet is inside and unplugging her phone from across the room. She sends a quick text to the group chat, telling them that she’s on her way downstairs. They’d planned to get breakfast somewhere further towards the beach today, wanting to go shopping in the mall near the hotel. 

She sits down on Tobin’s side of the bed again, cupping her cheek and looking down at her. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” 

“Yes, I’ll be fine.” Tobin insists, internally debating on whether she should start pushing Christen out of the room soon. 

“Okay.” Christen nods reluctantly, “Just promise me that you’ll text or call me if you need anything?” 

“Promise.” Tobin easily agrees, “Now go, because you look gorgeous and you’re going to be late.” 

“Alright, alright.” Christen laughs, leaning down to kiss Tobin’s lips. “I love you, beautiful.” 

“I love you too.” Tobin smiles, watching as Christen walks over to the door, checking she has the keycard for the hotel room and her purse. 

“Hey babe?” Tobin stops her just as she reaches the door. Christen stalls, turning around and looking at her. “Yeah?” 

“Just remember the size of our suitcases, please.” 

Christen rolls her eyes with a chuckle, reminding Tobin once again that she should text her throughout the day, and making her way down to the lobby of the hotel to meet Kelley, Alex, Julie and Kristie. 

Tobin checks the time, not bothering to set herself an alarm, and rolling over to drift back into sleep. She’s out within seconds, not waking up again until midday. 

Once she’s awake again, Tobin rubs the sleep out of her eyes, forcing them open and having another sip of water. Whilst she feels a lot better than she did earlier, she’s still not quite feeling like herself again. Tobin stares at the ceiling for a long moment, deciding that she’s going to take a shower and get ready. Maybe she’ll find somewhere to grab something to eat, since she still hasn’t eaten since last night. 

By the time she’s dressed and already feels a little better, she grabs her wallet and phone, finally checking the time. 

**Chris :** Hey, baby. I hope you’re feeling better by the time you see this. Do you need me to bring any food back to the hotel tonight? I love you.

**Tobs :** I’m planning on heading out now and finding something light to eat so I should be good, but thank you. I love you too. 

She double checks that she’s got her hotel key, putting it in her wallet and planning to simply stroll through the streets to see what she can find. 

After eventually spotting a local take-out food chain, she orders herself the first thing she could recognize on the menu and starts walking towards the beach. She passes the docks on the way, easily finding the beach after that and sitting down in the sand to finish her food. 

The air was making her feel more refreshed already, so she ends up deciding to continue her walk a little further down the shore. Tobin’s five minutes further down the beach when she remembers Sarah sending her some recommendations of places to go - knowing some of the best spots after travelling here for multiple of Jeffrey’s National Team games over the years. 

She scrolls up on their thread of text messages, finding the list with short descriptions. One place that Sarah had mentioned right away was La Falaise d’Amont, knowing Tobin’s love for anything that involves the seaside. Looking it up on google maps to see when they could visit it, she realizes that it’s only a short drive away from her current location. 

Tobin figures she doesn’t have anything better to do for the rest of her day and doesn’t want to walk back to the hotel just yet, so she calls a cab to Étretat. Upon her arrival, she spots why Sarah had recommended it. 

There are tall cliffs surrounding the beach, with small boats in the sand. She spots the trails on the cliffs, deciding that she’ll find the start of one of them and join the other tourists at the top. 

After over an hour of taking multiple pictures of the view from the top of the cliffs, Tobin’s original lack of energy is starting to catch up with her again and she calls a cab back to the hotel. She makes sure to send Christen a text once she’s back inside their hotel room, quickly rinsing the sand off her body and changing into a new hoodie and pair of shorts. 

Not long after, she hears the door open, lifting her head from where she was writing in her journal at the small desk. A smile makes its way onto her face when Christen walks in, dropping her bags by the door and then making her way towards Tobin. 

“Hey, you!” Tobin greets as Christen reaches her, moving in between the desk and chair so she can sit down sideways on Tobin’s lap. 

“Hey, baby.” Christen returns, wrapping her arms around Tobin’s neck and pulling her in for a kiss. She leans back again, her eyes filled with concern and love. “How are you?” 

“So much better!” Tobin responds truthfully, “I think it was just a lack of sleep and maybe something I ate.”

“That’s good, I’m glad.” Christen kisses her temple, resting her head against Tobin’s after. “I missed you today.”

“I missed you too.” Tobin agrees with her, “Did you have a nice time?” 

“Yeah, I did.” Christen nods, looking at Tobin again. “I’ll show you what I bought later, but first - what do you say to ordering room service?” 

“Obviously!” Tobin grins, reaching for the room service menu on the side of the desk and opening it so both of them could read it. 

They call down to the reception five minutes later to order their food. In the end, Christen ended up getting a burger with a side salad, whilst Tobin chose a burger with fries instead. They sit side by side on the bed, preparing to eat their food which had just arrived. 

“Wanna watch that movie we planned on watching today?” Christen wonders when she sits up against the headboard. 

Tobin nods, looking around for the remote and reaching to turn the television on. When nothing on their TV looked interesting and the only other shows they were able to find were french, they resort to the next best option and watch Netflix on Christen’s MacBook instead. 

“Did you go out earlier?” Christen turns her head from where it’s lying next to Tobin’s on one of the pillows. She knew Tobin had been planning on heading out, but she never found out where she went. 

“Yeah, I just walked through the town to find something to eat, and then along the docks and to the beach.” 

Christen hums, moving closer to Tobin. “You didn’t have to go by yourself you know. We could have met you there!” 

“I know,” Tobin nods without hesitation, “But you guys were out already and I didn’t want you to rush or anything like that.” 

“Besides…me, myself and I had a lovely time.” Tobin teases, turning to look for her phone. “I took some pictures whilst I was at the beach.” 

Christen chuckles at Tobin’s goofiness, waiting for Tobin to open her phone. She conveniently misses out the pictures that she took of the cliffs, even though she knows Christen would love those ones the most if she saw them. Instead, she starts with the ones that were simply facing out towards the water and includes the others that she took in the small streets. 

“We’ll have to go there before we leave Le Havre.” Christen suggests as she looks at the pictures that Tobin is scrolling through. “I can’t remember our plans, but we could ask when Rach is free after the game and go off that?” 

“I’ll do you one better.” Tobin bites her lip as she rolls over so she’s looking down at Christen, silently praying that Christen will agree. “What would you say about me taking you out on a date the day after tomorrow? I may or may not know a nice place that I think you’d love.” 

Christen's face lights up, her lips curling up into a smile. “I think that sounds like a great idea.” She lifts her head up high enough to connect her lips with Tobin’s, holding onto her as she gives her a sweet kiss. 

  
“I never showed you what I bought!” She suddenly remembers, getting up and walking towards the bags that are still standing up against the wall right next to the hotel room door. 

Christen excitedly sits down on the end of the bed, reaching for the first bag which she had moved next to the bed. She gets her purchases out one by one, showing Tobin what she bought. She had also bought a number of things for Tobin, seeing them in the shops and instantly knowing that Tobin would be interested in them if she were there. Christen only leaves one bag out from all of the stuff she shows Tobin, hiding it in her suitcase until a later day. 

“I didn’t even buy that much this time!” Christen claims with pride as she walks into the bathroom. The size of the bathroom is that small that it’s barely made to fit one person in, nevermind two, but they make it work just for the laughs.

Technically, it would be more logical to brush their teeth at separate times so they both have the space by the sink, but what would be the fun in that? 

Instead, they just kill the time by bumping hips, shuffling from side to side and pulling faces in the mirror to make each other laugh. 

“Did you read through the family group chat earlier, by the way?” Christen questions after rinsing her mouth out, leaning against the side by the sink. 

Tobin can feel the butterflies in her stomach at the mention of Christen calling her parents and siblings  _ family. _ In her mind it makes complete sense and it certainly isn’t the first time she’s said that, but she still feels a rush of happiness everytime she hears it. 

Tobin chuckles, also rinsing her mouth out and putting her toothbrush to the side. “You mean the exactly two hundred and thirty-seven unread texts I have on my phone?” 

Christen giggles, a sound that has become music to Tobin’s ears, shrugging at the same time. “Something like that!” 

“Then nope, I have not.” Tobin replies, remembering that she turned her ringtone down after the first ten so she could go back to sleep. “Why?” 

“Your mom wanted to FaceTime with everyone at some point next week, but asked what time we're free since we’re over seven hours ahead of all of them.” 

“What did you say?” Tobin wonders, having a plan in mind but not voicing it out loud. 

“I just said that I’d get back to her since I was out and you weren’t with us, so I didn’t know of the top of my head.” 

Tobin nods, biting her bottom lip and appearing to calculate the hours in her head. “Well, why don’t we call them Tuesday night?” 

“Yeah, sounds good.” Christen agrees easily, not being overly fussed about when they would call. “We could always call them on Monday too, since we’re still here for at least two days, even if they lose the game on Sunday.” 

“Ehm, excuse me!” Tobin raises her eyebrows, putting her contacts away in the case and stepping to the side to place her hands on Christen’s waist. “First of all, I recall someone agreeing to go on a date with me on Monday! And second of all, they’re not going to lose.” 

“Oh, oops.” Christen chuckles, pecking Tobin’s lips and then moving away to grab her own contacts box too. “So Tuesday it is?” 

Tobin nods, informing her girlfriend that she’ll text them all now and climbs into bed. She pulls out her phone, clicking on her text messages and scrolling through all of the unread ones she has waiting for her. 

Christen joins her a couple of minutes later, switching the bathroom light off again and laying her book down on the bed. 

Tobin is pulled out of her state of reading through the messages, when she can no longer ignore Christen scrambling through the room. She looks between Christen’s side of the bed and her girlfriend, trying to figure out what is going on. Christen seems to catch onto this, pausing and looking at Tobin with her hands on her hips. 

Tobin raises her eyebrow as if to question her behaviour, to which Christen shrugs and continues. “Babe, what are you doing?” She wonders after a long moment of following her movements. 

“Chris?” Tobin asks again, going unanswered by Christen who seems to be too busy looking for something. She can’t help but have to stifle a laugh at her, pulling up the camera app on her phone and recording her. “Chris! What are you doing?” 

She finally manages to get Christen’s attention, her girlfriend turning around for a split second before rummaging through the stuff in their room again. “I’m looking for my glasses!” Christen states as if it should be obvious, “I can’t find them anywhere!” 

Tobin’s eyes divert to the room for a short second before she notices something, deciding to continue recording and trying even harder not to laugh. 

“Oh my god! Where could they be?” Christen stresses with frustration, checking her purse for the fifth time. “I could have sworn that I saw them not long ago.” 

Tobin only lets the commotion go on for another minute before she gets Christen’s attention again. 

“Babe.” Tobin gets nothing, deciding to try again. “Babe!” 

“Huh? Yeah?” Christen spins around to face Tobin, realizing that she’s being addressed. 

“Babe, they’re on your head.” Tobin tells her, not failing to hide her laugh anymore. Christen looks at her with plain confusion, reaching up to pat the top of her head and realizing that Tobin was in fact right, and they’d been sitting in her hair this whole time. 

Tobin starts laughing even harder at Christen’s facial expression when she notices that Tobin was telling her the truth.

“Thanks.” Christen mumbles quietly as she gets into her side of the bed, lying down flat on her back and pulling the covers over her head. Once Tobin finally contains her laughter, she pauses the video, placing her phone on the side and reaching to pull the covers back. She only manages to get them down to Christen’s nose, the rest of her staying hidden. 

Tobin starts laughing all over again, Christen now joining in and finding it just as hilarious. 

“Babe, you’re so cute.” Tobin chuckles as she wipes her tears from under her eyes, leaning down to leave a light kiss on Christen’s forehead. “You looked so confused!”   
  
  


“I was!” Christen states, “I didn’t even see them on my head when I checked by the mirror.” 

“You should go to the opticians!” Tobin points out, laughing at her own joke. 

“Have I ever told you that you should be a comedian?” Christen asks with a straight face, hearing Tobin’s ridiculous jokes on a daily basis. The only thing that still makes them funny are Tobin’s reactions to them - her either laughing or trying her best to keep a straight face until both of them start. 

Tobin looks down at her as if she was thinking it over in her head, waiting until Christen is sitting up again. “Strangely enough, you have not!” 

“Huh, what a coincidence.” Christen teases, making Tobin nudge her lightly. 

“That was mean!” Tobin frowns at her, “You’re the one that always laughs at them!” 

“Yeah, I guess you have a point.” Christen agrees with a shrug, moving over so she can lean into Tobin whilst she reads her book. Tobin moves her arm, wrapping it around Christen’s shoulder and kissing her cheek. 

“I love you and your dorkiness!” Tobin tells her with a beaming smile. 

\-------

After having a late brunch with Rachel’s family, they started walking towards the stadium for the four o’clock kick off. Settling down in their seats, which are higher than they have previously been, and sporting their  _ Daly 17  _ jerseys. 

Christen places her hand on Tobin’s thigh, squeezing it to get her attention. Christen gives her a bright smile when Tobin turns to her after finishing her conversation with Alex. 

“How are you feeling?” Christen asks her, leaning closer so Tobin would be able to hear her in the loud stadium. 

Tobin gives her a million-dollar smile, grinning widely. “Super!”

“Super duper?” Christen questioning goofily, giggling when Tobin nods, “Super duper!”

“I knew it!” Christen states with a smile, “I had a feeling that’s how you were feeling.” 

“Are you ready for them to win this game?” Tobin winks at her as Christen lifts her hand to lightly swat her arm. “Don’t jinx it!” 

“I’m not,” Tobin shakes her head with a confident look, “I just have a good feeling about this.”

And that feeling was correct, seeing as they end up winning 3-0 against Norway, meaning they’re moving on to the semi-finals. 

Since they’re too high up to make their way down to congratulate Rachel, they wave for her to meet them around the back of the stadium. Rachel had arranged for her to not get on the team bus back to the hotel, instead walking to a restaurant nearby together and then stay at their hotel since she had a rest day tomorrow. 

Rachel sees them at the side of the Stadium outside, walking over and hugging her parents and Kristie right away. 

“I’m so proud of you!” Kristie whispers, beaming at her when they pull away from a tight hug, not feeling comfortable to be any more affectionate around the photographers that are stood a few feet away by the buses. 

After they all got their turn of congratulating Rachel, they decide to move away from the Stadium and walk towards their restaurant. Rachel’s family walks the opposite way to them, since they’d been exploring the local area since sunrise and were ready for simply having a drink in the bar. They hadn’t thought the location of their restaurant through as well as they thought, after seeing a number of fans that were heading out of the Stadium on the way there, not that any of them minded much. 

“I can’t tell if that’s just someone randomly running or someone trying to reach Rach!” Tobin tugs on Christen’s hand, whispering in her ear. 

  
Christen turns her head, spotting a teenager jog across the road and towards them. Her parents seem to be waiting on the opposite side of the road and her reasoning reveals itself when her hair moves out of the way to show the seventeen at the front of the jersey. 

Tobin spots the number at the same time, unclasping her hand from Christen’s and tapping Rachel’s shoulder in front of her. 

“I think there's a fan coming over for you.” Tobin suggests to her, seeing that Rachel hadn’t spotted the girl yet and not wanting her to have to run after them. 

  
Rachel turns her head just as the girl reaches them. 

“Hey!” She speaks nervously, suddenly intimidated by the group when they all stop. “Uhm, I just wanted to ask for your autograph if that’s okay?” 

“Yes, of course!” Rachel nods right away, not even hesitating to think about it. 

Kelley and Alex start chuckling from behind her, making Rachel turn around. “You may or may not understand her accent. In case you didn’t, she said  _ yes, of course _ .” 

Rachel rolls her eyes, turning back around to face the fan. “Have you got a sharpie?” 

The girl nods, laughing at Kelley and Alex still finding themselves funny. 

“What’s your name?” Rachel asks as she goes to sign the shirt, wanting to write the fans name on it too. 

“My name’s Poppy.” She replies a little more confident this time.

“My parents have a dog called Poppy.” Rachel laughs, asking the girl how old she is. “I’m sixteen.”

“You sound English.” Rachel speaks after confirming the suspicion in her head, “Where are you from?” 

“Yeah, I’m actually from Harrogate too.” Poppy confirms, knowing that Rachel is from her hometown. 

“No way! That’s so cool.” Rachel smiles widely. 

Alex raises an eyebrow at Kelley and then looking back at Rachel, “Isn’t that where you're from?” 

Rachel nods, looking over at Alex. “Yeah, the exact same town.” 

“Sorry, what was that?” Alex teases, “I couldn’t understand you.”

Kelley starts laughing again then too, “Neither could I.” 

“Shut up.” Christen speaking in a light tone with an eye roll, making it clear that she wasn’t being rude but that they needed to stop. She was used to them acting like a duo of seven year olds by now, but also knew how to get them to be quiet. 

“Okay, boss!” Alex throws her hands up. 

“Hah!” Kelley chuckles, “Firstly, we aren’t at work and secondly, you aren’t  _ my  _ boss.” 

Kristie smiles, looking over at Christen. “Hey Kel? Shut up.” 

They all start laughing, Kelley facepalming herself. “I walked right into that one.”   
  


“Back to before they interrupted me.” Rachel teases, “Have you always lived in Harrogate?”

“Yeah, I don’t live that far from your parents.” Poppy nods, “I see them around sometimes and they always get really proud when I tell them how great you’re playing.”

“That’s so cute.” Tobin mumbles quietly with a smile. 

“I’ll have to tell them that I met you! Did you want to get a picture too?” Rachel questions, not remembering how the conversation started. 

“Yes, please.” Poppy nods eagerly, “That’s if you don’t mind!”

She waves to the girl after taking the picture, hugging her before parting ways and continuing their path to the restaurant. 

\-------

“I saw this nice restaurant yesterday.” Kelley mentions as they walk into the lobby of the hotel. “Maybe we could go there for dinner tomorrow night?” 

“Tobin and I can't join you tomorrow night, sorry.” Christen shrugs a little guiltily, unsure as to why since they’ve all been attached by the hip throughout their trip. 

Alex looks them both up and down suspiciously, raising one eyebrow. 

“What?” Christen laughs at her antics, “Tobin asked me on a date and how can I say no to that?” 

“I didn’t say anything.” Alex throws her hands up, “I was just hoping you have a valid reason for ditching us.”

Too busy in her conversation with Alex, Christen misses Tobin nodding at Rachel when their eyes meet. They all get in the elevator, stepping off at their different floors and heading to their rooms. 

“Baby?” Christen asks slowly, dragging the word out from where she’s lying in bed.

Tobin redirects her eyes from her book to Christen, “Yes?” 

“Please would you get me my glasses?” Christen questions with an innocent and playful smile. 

“Really?” Tobin chuckles, “You just got into bed.” 

“That’s the point!” Christen nods eagerly, “I just got cozy and now I’d have to get up again.” 

“What about me, who’s been here the whole time?” Tobin questions with a laugh.

“I’m too lazy and don’t want to move, though.” Christen pouts, trying to make Tobin feel sympathetic. 

Tobin chuckles at her, kissing her pout away with a short peck. “Yesterday you lost them even though they were on your head the whole time; today you forget them across the room and beg me to get them for you; so what’s tomorrow?” 

Christen shrugs as if it was a serious question, “I haven’t decided yet.” 

“Hmm, I think you can get them yourself because I’m lazy too.” Tobin decides, wanting to see if Christen continues her little battle. 

“I might have to go over this whole agreement thing.” Christen says seriously, eyeing the glasses that are sitting on the desk. 

“So what? Dating you is like a contract now?” Tobin starts laughing, “I’m not allowed to be with you just because I love you and want to spend time with you and all of the other thousand reasons I’m with you?”

“That’s about twenty percent of it.” Christen replies thoughtfully.

“You really are an absolute dork.” Tobin shakes her head, a smile creeping onto her face. “And you’re lucky that I love you!”

She gets up, taking the short steps to the desk and grabbing the glasses. Instead of simply walking around the bed again, Tobin jumps onto it and lands on her stomach right by Christen’s side, making her squeal. 

Tobin opens the glasses up, moving them onto Christen’s face and just lying there, admiring her for a long moment. 

Christen, who appears to be doing the same thing, brushes Tobin’s hair out of her face, tucking the dirty blonde strands behind her ear. She cups Tobin’s face with both of her hands, gently brushing her thumb across Tobin’s cheeks. 

Her face lights up when she meets Tobin’s eyes, biting her lip and staring at the hazel-colored eyes with a look of love in her own. 

“You make me so happy!” Christen whispers quietly, her smile growing bigger and reaching her eyes. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it today.” 

“I mean, you always make me happy and I always know that, but it was just constantly on my mind today.” Christen clarifies without Tobin even asking.

It hits Tobin once again - how perfect Christen is for her. 

Tobin’s nerves started growing a few hours ago, steadily increasing since then. Tomorrow is  _ the  _ day, she knows it is, but that doesn’t help steady her nerves even the slightest. 

Without having any knowledge of what was about to occur the following day or even knowing what Tobin could be nervous about, Christen is there to reassure her just like any other time. She reassures Tobin without even knowing it.

“I love you.” Tobin whispers in return, mumbling it against Christen’s lips as she leans in for a kiss. “I love you too.” 

\-------

Tobin stirs awake the next morning and suddenly she feels sick with nerves. It’s crazy and she knows it is, but there’s a small and irrational part living in her brain. 

That same part is telling her that if today doesn’t go perfect, Christen will say no. It’s telling her that if she messes up even the slightest, then Christen won’t want to marry her.

It’s telling her that if it doesn’t go exactly as she’s been planning in her head for months now, then it’ll all be over and she could lose Christen forever. And even the thought of  _ that  _ destroys her and makes her feel like someone is ripping her heart out of her chest. 

So today has to be perfect. Every second of it has to be perfect.

No matter what, Tobin can’t risk losing the person that’s her whole world. Especially because she’s only had the chance to spend just under two years with her and definitely isn’t ready to let Christen go yet. She won’t ever be ready to let Christen go. 

All she can do is hope that those nerves fade throughout the day or at least become less noticeable once she’s distracted.

This only seems to work for two hours. It works right up until Alex decides to bring the date up again. 

“So, date night tonight?” Alex asks as if she doesn’t already know the answer. 

Tobin nods, trying to ignore the way her leg is trying its best not to start bouncing up and down. Christen’s hand on her thigh was making it an almost impossible challenge, Tobin knowing that if she moves or tenses it even the slightest, her girlfriend would be able to tell right away that something’s wrong. 

“Yes, Al. That hasn’t changed over night.” Tobin chuckles, trying to keep it light. 

“I’m just being nosy.” Alex defends, “My husband decided to leave me to go on this trip by myself and just FaceTime him once a day instead, so I’m spending my time investing into other people’s love lives instead.” 

“High five to that.” Julie raises her hand, waiting for Alex’s to meet hers. 

“Feel free to spill everything though.” Alex casually mentions, “Where are you taking Christen?” 

“I’m not telling you.” Tobin gives her a smile, shaking her head sternly. “Christen doesn’t know where I’m taking Christen, so Alex won’t know where I’m taking Christen either.” 

“Well that was disappointing.” Alex frowns as she folds her arms and leans back in her chair, deciding to act annoyed as she waddles her finger around and points at them. “Do you guys always do this or?” 

“Not always.” Christen chuckles, “But sometimes we just like to surprise each other on date nights.” 

“My date nights are more than a two way effort.” Julie laughs as Alex agrees with her, “If it wouldn’t be for me constantly reminding Zach, he’d probably forget that dates exist all together.”

“Well, it better be somewhere nice, Tobin.” Alex says light-heartedly, so Tobin knows she’s joking. “I have to make sure you’re treating Christen right.” 

“Stop it.” Christen rolls her eyes with a chuckle, “Tobin could tell me we’re just eating in the hotel restaurant and I’d be happy with it. As long as it’s with Tobin it doesn’t matter where it is.” 

“That was disgustingly adorable.” Rachel chips in, earning a laugh from the rest of them. 

Her nerves do get a little better throughout the day. She stops thinking about it so much after a while, simply going on with her day as normal and pushing those thoughts away. She’d have time to be nervous about it later. 

“We haven’t had a date night in way too long!” Christen realizes as she searches for her mascara. She comes to a stop in front of Tobin, kissing her girlfriend and continuing her path back to the bathroom. 

Once she turns away from Tobin and has her back towards her again, the older woman quickly opens the inside pocket of her leather jacket, stuffing a small box inside of it. 

Tobin looks around for her phone, unplugging it from the wall and tucking it in the outside pocket, figuring it would cover up the shape of the box and fact the anything was inside of her jacket.

Once she’s all set and checks the mirror to see if her plan seems to be working, she sits down on the chair to wait for Christen. 

“Alright, I’m ready.” Christen announces, putting her shoes on and switching the bathroom light off. 

Tobin checks the time on her phone again, seeing that their cab was already outside. She stands up, walking towards the door and checking she has their hotel room key. 

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” Tobin mentions as she walks past Christen, leaving a kiss on her temple. “And that outfit makes your ass look even better, if that’s possible.” 

Christen rolls her eyes with a laugh, tugging Tobin back for a proper kiss. “Of course that would be your first thought.” 

“It’s not my fault you have an amazing ass.” Tobin chuckles, letting her hands move down to their target. 

“Okay, okay. Whatever.” Christen blushes, using a weak attempt to try and get out of Tobin’s embrace. 

“It’s true...and it’s all mine!” Tobin gives her a lasting kiss, then lets her go again and follows her. 

“ _ That  _ it is.” Christen turns around with a wink, making Tobin laugh. 

They get the cab to Étretat, driving just under half-an-hour and landing them at a fancy seafood restaurant. Christen loves seafood - has always loved seafood ever since she was little - so when Tobin saw it for the first time a couple of days ago, she instantly knew that this was where she wanted to take Christen. 

They both make their way through their meals, ordering both a starter and a main as recommended by the waitress. 

“I’m so full! I feel like I’m going to explode.” Christen laughs when they get the dessert menus, letting her eyes run over the writing on it. 

“We have to get a dessert!” Tobin insists, shakes her head sternly as her eyes grow wide. “We can’t not get dessert, babe!” 

“Only if we share something, because I can guarantee you that I won’t be able to finish it by myself.” 

Tobin shrugs, only half serious with her next statement. “If I get to pick then sure.” 

They end up ordering a Crème Caramel to share, Tobin finishing the rest off when Christen can’t eat any more. Tobin insists on paying, even though Christen actually put a fight up for once. 

It wasn’t as if it would make a huge difference since they aren’t the  _ my money, your money  _ type of couple, more having their own income but being laid back about what belongs to who. Since they’ve turned their savings accounts into a shared one anyway and pay their bills equally, it doesn’t change anything. Christen is never one to be bothered if Tobin spends her money and vice versa, knowing they’d spend it responsibly.

That’s why it surprised Christen to see how stern Tobin was about paying for their date, but she just let it go and agreed to let her pay. 

“I want to take you somewhere else too.” Tobin mentions as she holds the door open for Christen, catching up with her to link their fingers together. “If you’re okay with not heading back to the hotel for another half-an-hour or so?” 

Christen nods easily, wanting to look more around more anyway - now that they were already there.

Tobin leads them down a small side road. They walk hand-in-hand through the small streets, just breathing in the fresh air and appreciating how blessed they are to be able to travel and have opportunities like these. 

“I love our friends, but it’s nice to spend a few hours just exploring with you by ourselves.” Christen mentions to Tobin as they make their way down the last road before their destination. “I know we get to sleep in the same bed every night and share a hotel room, but I feel like I’ve been lacking my Tobin-time recently.” 

“I know, I feel the same.” Tobin agrees easily after chuckling at her girlfriend’s wording, understanding where Christen’s coming from. “It’s all been so busy that we haven’t had any time to properly relax and spend some quality time together with no one else around.” 

“I love our nights though,” Christen continues, “I always feel so much closer to you then - obviously physically but I mean emotionally. It’s the only time where it’s just us and the only place we have to be is in each other’s arms.”

Christen shrugs again, “I don’t know, I just love it. It makes me feel so safe and the fact that we are the only people that get to experience that with each other makes it so special to me.”

Tobin squeezes Christen’s hand a little tighter, not replying but simply letting her action speak for her. She knows that Christen will understand what she feels and is trying to say without having to speak. 

They continue their way down the same path until they reach the seafront, Christen only noticing where they are because of the sound of the waves ringing in her ears.

When Christen lifts her head to let her eyes roam over their new location, she’s met with one of the most breathtaking views she’s ever seen. The waves are gently crashing into the shore, barely making a noise, as the moon is reflecting on them. Tobin pulls her towards the steps and down to the sand, having them walk by the edge of the water. 

Ahead of them, are tall chalk cliffs that are lit up by the lights that are at the bottom of them. Christen can’t help but raise their hands up, kissing the back of Tobin’s and thinking about how romantic the view looks. 

She’s grown up on a beach, living near one all her life, but the cliffs in Palos Verdes had little to no chance of even comparing with the white ones ahead of her. 

There were only a handful of other people on the beach, another couple sitting down a few feet away from where they’d just been and another group sitting in the distance. Tobin leads her away from them though, not stopping until they’re further along. 

She sits down first, tugging on Christen’s hand to pull her down too - so they’re sat right in front of the cliffs, facing out towards the water. Christen feels herself relax even more than she already was, moving her head to rest it on Tobin’s shoulder. 

There’s a long moment of silence, just spent listening to the waves until Christen interrupts it by quietly speaking up. “I’m so lucky to be here with you! Thank you for bringing me here tonight.” 

Tobin squeezes her thigh, deciding that there’d be no better moment than now. 

“Chris?” She whispers, trying to calm her heart rate and not give away her nerves. “Mhm?” 

“You know what you said last night...about me making you happy?” Tobin wonders, figuring that this is a good way to casually ease into the conversation.

Christen nods, signaling for Tobin to continue. “You make me really happy too.”

“Yeah?” Christen whispers with a smile, biting her bottom lip. 

“Yeah!” Tobin starts speaking in a gentle voice, not wanting to ruin the sense of calmness in the air. “You-, you just amaze me so much, every day. Your love and kindness towards me and others is so special, and you’re the most selfless person I know with the biggest heart. From the day I met you, I saw something in you that I’d never seen in anyone I’ve met. I remember so well that all I could think about the night after my interview was that I could stare into your eyes forever but never in a million years did I expect us to get here. Not once did I think that we would end up falling in love, but being with you has taught me so many things and continues to teach me even more.” 

Christen lifts her head up, wanting to look into Tobin’s eyes to show that she was listening. The words seem to be flowing out of her girlfriend and she’s taking in every word that’s being said. Tobin continues in a calm voice, trying her best to remember all of the things she’d been rehearsing in her mind for months now. 

“You know, it’s funny because growing up everyone teaches you so many different things about life, relationships, marriage, parenthood and everything that comes with those. But ultimately, marriage is about the fact that it’s for life. You don’t leave, ever. You don’t leave when it gets tough or when life throws obstacles in the way. You don’t leave, not because you aren’t allowed to, but because you don’t want to. You always work everything out because you love each other more than anyone else and want to commit your life to the other.” Tobin says thoughtfully, making Christen silently question where this was coming from all of the sudden. 

They hadn’t spoken about marriage in months, not since before the New Year where they somewhat discussed the idea of having children together one day, so she wasn’t sure why Tobin would randomly bring the topic up now. 

Not that she minds, she has no problem openly talking about these topics with Tobin and imagines  _ their _ future in her head all of the time, but she just hadn’t expected that to come up in the moment.

“Those things used to terrify me - sharing all of me with someone, making the choice to stay with them forever and never being able to be fully alone again. My first thought used to always be  _ what if it’s the wrong person and I’m missing out on all the other people that I could have been with,  _ but then I met you.”

“It didn’t take me long to realize that you were exactly who I wanted to spend my life with, because I just knew that no matter where life takes me and who I spend time that time with, it will never be as good as when I’m with you. Everything’s better when you’re there.” Tobin takes a deep breath, her heart almost pounding out of her chest. 

“Just like that, I know that I choose you every single day, not just because you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and getting to spend my days by your side makes everything ten times better, but also because I couldn’t ever love someone more than I love you.” 

“I don’t know what the future holds and I don’t know where it’s going to take me, but I do know that I want you there for as long as you’ll stay. I want to have you there throughout my best days and my worst ones; I want to wake up with you every morning; I want to fall asleep with you in my arms every night; and I want to build a family together one day. Babe, I love you with everything I have and I know that I won’t ever stop.” 

Tobin reaches into the inside pocket of her leather jacket, taking the small box into her hand - which has been covered by her phone in the outside pocket, all night. She stands up, watching as a confused Christen looks up at her, seemingly still not having caught onto what is happening. 

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I’m really hoping that you want that too.” Tobin explains, pulling the box out at the same time as she gets down on one knee. “So...Christen Annemarie Press, will you marry me?”

She can see the wheels turning inside Christen’s head, her soaking in every word that Tobin said and slowly catching onto the situation. Seeing Tobin kneeling right in front of her, seems to make it clear to her. 

Christen’s jaw drops and her hand comes up to her mouth, as she moves so she’s sitting on her knees. Christen feels her heart skip a beat when she goes over Tobin’s words in her head -  _ will you marry me? _ She finds herself speechless as she studies Tobin’s eyes, searching for any sign of doubt or hesitation, finding nothing but sincerity and hopefulness. 

She hadn’t expected it, not at all. Sure she was wondering where Tobin’s long speech had come from and where she was going with it, but she was more than content to just listen to her talk about the things Christen dreams of for their future. It wasn’t that she didn’t expect Tobin to never propose to her or even Tobin to be the one that proposes, but knowing that Christen was Tobin’s first long-term relationship - and actual relationship - in years, she definitely thought that Tobin would need a lot more time to be ready for marriage. In fact, she’d secretly been predicting that she’d need to start dropping some subtle hints in a few years' time with a hope of trying to speed up the process a little. 

To say she is shocked and surprised is a massive understatement, but simultaneously she couldn’t be happier.

“Yes!” Christen chokes out with a nod, biting her lip as she smiles widely. “Yes, of course I’ll marry you. A thousand times, yes!” 

She doesn't even pause to breathe, before she’s launching herself into Tobin’s arms. She shuts her eyes, tears streaming out of them and running down her face. Tobin holds her close, a tear of relief and happiness also rolling down hers. 

Tobin’s smile matches Christen’s as she takes the younger woman’s shaking hand into her own, taking the ring out of the box and sliding it onto her left ring finger. Christen stands up, pulling Tobin onto her feet and into a deep kiss. Before Tobin even has the chance to brush the tears off her own cheeks, Christen’s arms are around her shoulders again, holding her tighter than she ever has. 

“You’re the love of my life and make me so happy!” Christen whispers in her ear, still in complete shock. “I knew from the day I fell in love with you that I never want to let you go. You turned my whole world upside down when you came into my life, and I haven’t looked back since.” 

Christen leans back after a long moment, taking Tobin’s face into her hands and kissing her. 

“I love you so so much.” Christen whispers when they pull away again, speaking quietly as if it’s a secret and someone could overhear them. 

“I love you too.” Tobin smiles widely, letting a deep breath out and just holding Christen again.

Christen, still in complete shock, shakes her head to try and bring herself back into the moment once they sit down again. She lifts her left hand, admiring the ring from where she can see it clearly through the lights on the cliffs. 

“Baby, it’s beautiful.” Christen gushes, not keeping any space between them and linking her right hand with Tobin’s that is resting on her thigh. “This feels like a dream.” 

“You like it?” Tobin questions to confirm, receiving an eager nod. “I love it so much. It’s perfect, you’re perfect!” 

Tobin pulls Christen close, holding her in her arms and feeling overwhelmed with all of the emotion’s she’s feeling. Christen doesn’t move an inch, twisting the ring on her finger with the biggest smile. 

“You know, this band reminds me of my great aunt’s old wedding ring.” She casually mentions after a long moment of just staring at it, moving on from it again after leaving the passing comment. “It's so pretty!” 

Tobin grins when Christen notices the similarity between the two rings, more than happy that she seems to like it. She kisses Christen’s cheek, just feeling so thankful to have Christen by her side  _ forever. _

They sit there, looking out at the ocean, for a long while - changing between sitting in silence and quietly speaking short conversations to the other. 

“Baby, we’re getting married.” Christen whispers as she rests their foreheads together, another tear running down her cheek as she tries to get herself back into reality, still feeling speechless from shock. 

Tobin catches it with her thumb, cupping her face and giving Christen a million-dollar smile. “Yeah! Yeah, we are.” 

Christen gives Tobin a lasting kiss, pulling her into the tightest hug after. “I’m so happy!” She closes her eyes, taking in the moment and never wanting to forget the way she’s feeling right now. “I love you so much.” 

It’s a phrase she’s been repeating over and over again in the past - however much time has passed since Tobin got down on one knee - but she’s unable to find any other words that express her feelings better than the three that mean the most.

“I love you too, so so much.” Tobin tightens her embrace too, squeezing Christen before relaxing her arms again. 

Christen shuffles from where she’s sitting next to Tobin, moving behind her so Tobin can sit in between her legs and lean into her. 

“Hold on, I think I still have my polaroid in my purse!” Christen remembers as she reaches one hand out to rummage through it, wanting to capture the moment. She passes it to Tobin, who holds it out in front of her and takes a picture of them grinning with Christen’s ring on clear display. 

After Tobin takes various ones - from them being goofy to acting cheesy and cute. Christen opens the small side pocket in her purse, placing them inside so they would be safe there until she can store them somewhere else once they’re back at the hotel. 

She has a feeling Tobin already knows that some of them will end up on their fridge door, along with the note she still keeps there from the day she asked Tobin to move in with her. 

It never fails to make her smile, when she walks downstairs in the morning and the first thing that she sees is  _ just because I love you  _ in Tobin’s handwriting. It reminds her of just how simple everything can be on days where everything seems difficult and small obstacles feel like a huge challenge, whether it’s in their relationship or as an individual. But it also keeps her grounded, and reminds her that she is worthy of love on days where she has no motivation to get out of bed, let alone make it to work and act enthusiastic all day. 

After a while of just sitting there and diverting their attention between the view and each other, Christen suggests that they go on a walk around the local streets before calling a cab again. 

Tobin agrees right away, brushing the sand off her jeans and standing up again, not wanting the night to end yet either. Once the air starts getting cooler and the streets are empty due to the late hour, they decide that it’s time to go back to the hotel. 

They barely make it inside before Christen has Tobin’s shirt over her head, discarding it right away. Her lips stay on Tobin’s the whole time, pushing her up against the back of the door and locking it before dragging her over to the bed. 

She moves to unbutton Tobin’s jeans, getting rid of them in record time whilst taking in the taste of Tobin’s skin, kissing it softly and paying attention to every inch of her body. 

Tobin can feel herself getting wetter with every delicate kiss that Christen leaves on her skin, biting her tongue to stop herself from begging Christen for more. 

She regains some of her senses when Christen’s mouth detaches from her skin for a short moment, realizing that Christen is still fully dressed. 

Christen runs her fingers over the boxers, letting them brush over her clit and making Tobin moan. She throws her head back, desperately needing more when she feels Christen drop her hand inside of her boxers instead. 

Christen reaches down, running her fingers through Tobin’s folds. 

“You’re so wet.” She whispers as Tobin moans again, sliding her hand out and licking her fingers to tease Tobin. 

Tobin tries to move them onto the bed, just wanting to undress Christen too. “I need you, babe. I need to feel you, please.” She whimpers as Christen sucks on her pulse on her neck. 

Christen stops Tobin from lowering her onto the bed, staying on her feet and reaching down to Tobin’s ass. She can hear Tobin’s breathing starting to increase, sensing as she’s getting more turned on by the minute. 

Tobin reaches her hands around to Christen’s back, about to unzip Christen’s dress when a hand stops her. 

“You have to wait!” Christen smirks, pecking her lips and then creating a distance between them. “I have a surprise for you, but you have to be fully naked by the time I come back.” 

Tobin groans with frustration, watching as Christen moves away. She grabs a shopping bag out of her suitcase and goes into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. 

“And you better not get yourself off.” Christen calls out, knowing all too well that she purposely left Tobin wanting more. “Otherwise you’ll be the only one giving you an orgasm tonight.”

She comes back out again two minutes later, Tobin waiting for her on the bed. When she sees Christen in her black, lacy two-piece lingerie - that’s barely covering any part of her body - her mouth goes dry.

“Fuck, Chris. You’re so sexy!” Tobin breathes out as Christen moves over to her, straddling Tobin’s naked body.

Tobin’s hands instantly move down to Christen’s ass, letting out a whimper at the feel of Chrisen’s lacy thong on top of her body. 

“You’re beautiful.” Tobin's gaze makes Christen feel drunk on want, seeing her take in every inch of Christen’s body. The way Tobin is looking at her is making her crazy.

Christen’s lips find Tobin’s neck, moving her so she’s lying down on the bed. She kisses her way down Tobin’s body, missing out where Tobin needs her the most in favor of making her way back up. 

“Babe, I need you so bad.” Tobin whines, letting her head drop back at the feeling of Christen kissing her neck. “I don’t know how much longer I’m going to last.” 

“Be patient.” Christen mumbles against her skin, moving her body so it’s applying pressure to Tobin’s clit. 

Tobin’s hip buck up into hers, searching for more. She feels like she’s going to cum on the spot if she continues looking at Christen’s body, seeing her in the lingerie that might as well be see-through. 

Christen can hear Tobin whimpering and knows that she won’t last much longer, deciding to give in. She turns them over, now lying flat on her back as Tobin is hovering above her. 

“Come up here.” Christen nudges Tobin’s legs, asking her to move higher until she’s settled with her knees on either side of Christen’s head. 

Tobin looks down, seeing Christen look up at her through her long eyelashes. She lowers herself slowly, moaning as soon as she feels Christen’s tongue run through her folds. 

She grips onto the headboard, desperate to make herself last longer. 

“Oh, god.” Tobin bucks her hips as Christen’s tongue finds her entrance, “You feel so good, babe.” 

Christen moves her hands to Tobin’s hips, guiding them to create a steady rhythm with her movements. She pulls her tongue back out again, licking through Tobin’s folds and moving to suck on her clit. 

Christen was going painfully slow, making Tobin scream out every time she got some form of pleasure. She lets Tobin’s hips buck into her again, moaning as she tastes Tobin on her tongue - sending a vibration through the older woman’s body. 

Christen moves her tongue back into Tobin’s entrance, feeling her starting to clench around it and getting closer to her orgasm. 

Tobin tangles one hand into Christen’s hair, gripping harder onto the headboard with the other. 

“I need more, Chris.” Tobin begs her, still suffering under her slow movements. Christen moves her hands to grope Tobin’s ass, speeding up her movements as she licks through Tobin’s folds before finding her entrance again and repeating her actions. 

Tobin closes her eyes, stopping them from rolling to the back of her head. “That’s it, babe, right there.” She moans out, panting as she’s getting closer. 

All it takes is for Christen licking through her and sucking hard on her clit one more time, before Tobin cums. Christen lets Tobin come down from her high, continuing her motions and starting to slow them down when she hears Tobin’s breathing steady again. 

Tobin moves off Christen, giving her some space to breathe and lying down next to her. She closes her eyes, trying to regain her senses. 

“You feel so good.” Tobin mentions as she rolls onto her side, meeting Christen’s lips with her own. “I don’t think I’ve ever came that hard before, in my life.” 

“I hope you know that I’m nowhere near done with you for tonight.” Christen smirks, turning her head to look at Tobin. 

“I haven’t even got started with you.” Tobin argues when she sees that Christen still isn’t fully naked. As much as she would like to keep staring at the way Christen’s looks in nothing but lingerie, she also can’t wait any longer to take it off her and taste her. 

They’d gotten so used to each other’s bodies over the months, knowing exactly how the other likes to be pleasured and touched, yet every orgasm is still as toe curling as the previous one and they constantly find new ways to pleasure the other. 

Tobin pulls Christen into a kiss again, not wasting any time before unclasping her bra. 

\-------

Christen’s eyes open first in the morning, slowly adjusting to the sunlight streaming in through the hotel windows. She looks down, noticing the heavy load draped across her body. 

Tobin was lying mostly on top of her, clinging onto her in deep sleep and resting her head on Christen’s chest. The corners of her mouth turn upwards ever so slightly, loving the feeling of Tobin’s bare skin on her own. Usually they’d be sleeping the other way round, Christen nuzzling into Tobin’s neck. But there were other nights where it was clear that Tobin just wanted to be held and Christen would never object to that, or when they just found themselves in this position.

She remembers Tobin once telling her that she loves resting her head on Christen’s chest because the sound of her heartbeat calms her, making her feel safe and grounded. 

Christen’s thoughts drift back to the previous evening, recalling all of the events. Her eyes move down to the hand that’s wrapped around Tobin’s back, moving it further up her shoulder so it was in her view. 

Christen admires the ring from where she’s lying, already loving everything about it. It was more than she could have ever wished or hoped for, but it was Tobin so of course she got it perfect. 

She got everything perfect - every second of it.

From the ring to the location, speech and the timing. All of it was everything Christen ever dreamed of. How lucky she feels to have someone like that to share her life with. 

Tobin could have proposed to her without a ring, inside a hotel room, and Christen would have still said  _ yes.  _ It didn’t matter, none of it did, as long as it was the one person she wanted it to be. She didn’t though - of course she didn’t - because Tobin would have never allowed any of that to happen and wanted to make sure it’s just right.

Thinking back on the whole speech, Christen remembers every word of it, even if she was incredibly overwhelmed in the moment. Every word had embedded and engraved itself into Christen’s mind, being tucked away and stored there for as long as she’ll breathe. 

It was such a perfect moment for Christen in her life, that it makes her even more excited about what’s to come for the future. 

Christen’s eyes start prickling with tears, sparkling in the sunlight, and making her feel overwhelmed all over again. She wouldn’t even be able to begin to describe how she feels. 

There’s all this love that she has for Tobin, but it’s so strong that she would never be able to put it into words. She doesn’t even think that there are the correct phrases existing to even describe what she feels. 

One thing that she does know, is that she’s never been more sure of anything than their love for each other. 

Every morning when she wakes up next to Tobin, it’s just as special to her as the last. Christen loves and appreciates every single moment she spends with Tobin, living it to the fullest, no matter how big or small the events of the day are. 

If anyone would have suggested that she could grow this much two years ago, she would have told them that they were crazy. But it wasn’t crazy, because she’s grown so much every day for the past two years and she can’t wait to see how much she’ll continue growing with Tobin over the years.

Christen takes in all of Tobin’s features - from her mostly straight hair with a few natural waves and her eyelids with long eyelashes that are currently covering her favorite hazel-colored eyes, to the soft lips that she loves the feeling of and the faint freckles on the bridge of her nose. 

She runs her hand through the dirty blonde hair, careful not to get her fingers tangled in it. Tobin’s eyes flutter slightly a few minutes later, opening without her making a move. 

She simply lies there, listening to the steady rhythm of Christen’s heart beating against her chest and feeling her soft skin under hers. When Christen runs her hand through Tobin’s hair again, Tobin notices that she’s also awake and tilts her head. 

“Good morning,  _ fiancée _ .” Tobin grins, moving up so she can reach her lips and kiss her. 

Christen’s face mirrors Tobin’s look of pure happiness, cupping her cheek and kissing her back. “That has a nice ring to it.” 

“It does, doesn’t it?” Tobin nuzzles her face into Christen’s neck, “I think I’m sleep deprived.” 

“I think I love you.” 

Tobin runs her fingers down Christen’s side, drawing mindless patterns on her hip bone. “I think I love you too.” Tobin chuckles the words in return, suddenly lifting her head up. “You know what else I think?”

Christen shakes her head, trying to shrug her shoulders from where she’s lying. “I’m sure you’re about to tell me.”

“I think that we should skip breakfast.” Tobin states clearly, running her hands back down Christen’s body to indicate what she means. 

“Oh, really?” Christen raises an eyebrow, challenging her suggestion. “I think that I can get on board with that idea.” 

“There’s a lot of thinking going on this morning.” Tobin laughs as she leans down to Christen, cupping her cheek and pulling her into a deep kiss. 

\-------

“Look who has returned from their  _ extremely _ long date and decided to join us again!” Alex calls out as they meet up in Kristie’s room to make plans for a late lunch, Tobin and Christen finally deciding to leave the four walls of their hotel room after exploring each other’s bodies again all over this morning. 

“We were about to send a search party out for you guys.” Kelley eagerly nods along to Alex’s statement. “You didn’t respond to any texts at breakfast and we almost called you, but Rach wouldn’t let me.” 

Tobin throws Rachel a grateful smile, knowing the call would have gone unanswered anyway but still appreciating the thought behind it. 

Alex sits down next to Julie and Kelley on Kristie’s bed, still waiting on Kristie to be fully ready to head out. Christen and Tobin lean on the desk opposite her, Christen placing her left hand on the edge of the table so the ring is in view of the rest of them. 

“So, are you finally going to spill where you went last night?” Alex wonders, falling backwards so she’s looking up at the ceiling. 

“What about last night?” Tobin questions, acting clueless. 

“Really?” Julie asks her, teasingly rolling her eyes. “We’re just excited to hear about your night.” 

“Okay, fine.” Tobin groans, acting annoyed. “If you have to know then I guess we can tell you.” 

Kelley shuffles excitedly, sitting up a little taller and looking at them expectantly. Tobin taps Christen's hand with her finger, asking her to take over. 

“Hmm, let’s think.” Christen moves her left hand up to her face, tapping her nose with her finger to act like she was trying to remember. 

“Well, Tobin took me to this lovely restaurant in Étretat. Then we went down to the beach by the chalk cliffs for a while, before calling a cab back to the hotel later.” Christen explains casually, already knowing what Kelley’s next sentence is going to be.

“Alright, rate the date.” Kelley announces, confirming Christen’s predictions. 

“Solid hundred out of ten.” 

“Damn, Tobito. You smashed it.” Kelley gives Tobin an impressed look, holding her hand up for a high five. “Least favorite thing about it?” 

“Nothing, it was perfect.” Christen smiles as Tobin wraps an arm around her waist, pulling Christen into her side. 

“I think we need Tobin to start planning everyone's dates.” Kelley raises her eyebrows, clearly being impressed. “What was your favorite part about it?” 

Christen holds out her left hand, pointing it towards them and waiting for them to catch up. She can’t help but be grateful for how predictable Kelley is, already knowing she was going to ask those questions before they even walked into the room. “Apart from it being with Tobin, probably this.” 

Alex lifts her head up and off the bed again, letting her eyes flicker between Christen and the ring. She drops her head back down again, seemingly unfazed, until she realizes what she had just been looking at. 

“No way!” Alex’s eyes grow wide and her jaw drops, her body shooting up into a sitting position. 

“Oh my god!” Julie screeches, jumping up from the bed and wrapping her arms around both of them. 

Rachel stays back for a moment, letting Alex and Julie hound the couple before hugging Tobin first whilst they’re busy gushing over the ring. Kristie joins in with Alex and Julie, admiring the ring from all angles and expressing her happiness for them. 

It isn’t until they all move away to give them some space, that they notice Kelley still hasn’t started bouncing around the room with excitement. As Julie takes a step back, Kelley comes into Christen’s vision, seeing the woman watch the interaction from afar. She has her mouth covered by both of her hands, with a clear path of tears all down her cheeks. 

Christen steps forwards, reaching her arms out to hug her. Kelley moves her arms under Christen’s, holding on tightly just under her shoulders. 

This was a side of Kelley that only Christen knew out of all of their friends - the emotional and soft side that she rarely shows in public. Christen had seen this side many times over the years, being the first person that Kelley would go to if she’s upset. 

“I’m so happy for you!” Kelley whispers in Christen’s ear, only speaking loud enough for her to hear. “You deserve this love and happiness so much. I’m so glad that you two found each other.” 

“You’re going to make me cry again, Kel.” Christen chuckles, trying to push the tears in her eyes down again. 

“I love you so much, Chris.” Kelley continues, still speaking quietly and ignoring Christen’s remark. “I’m so proud of you and forever grateful that you’re my friend.” 

Christen tightens her grip around Kelley’s shoulders, pulling her closer. “I love you too.” 

She pulls back, wiping the tears from her eyes and perking back up to her usual energy. “You’re getting married!” Kelley moves to the side, opening her arms to hug Tobin too. 

“I want to see your ring too.” Kelley sticks her hand out, reaching for Christen’s. “That’s the most Christen ring I’ve ever seen in my life.” She chuckles, winking in Tobin’s direction to show her how happy she is for them. 

\-------

They make it out of the hotel and to lunch fifteen minutes later, not returning again until later on. Somehow they’d ended up at the beach before it started raining, making them walk back earlier than planned. 

Tobin and Christen had to wait until their families were awake, which wasn’t easy for either of them since they were both massively impatient when it comes to big news. Tobin couldn’t wait to tell her parents and siblings, knowing that only Perry would expect it. Christen, still clueless to the fact that her family already knew it was coming, is just as excited. 

They arrange to text the group once they’ve had the opportunity to talk to both of their families, knowing that it might take longer than they can expect so it’s pointless to set a time for dinner now. 

Since Tobin had very wisely used the chance of Cindy asking when they were free on FaceTime by suggesting the day after she was planning to propose, they’d never suspect anything and they were able to tell them all at the same time. 

Christen’s family was a bit more difficult, since Tyler was working her night shifts for the week, but they could just call them separately. 

Tobin props Christen’s computer up on the bed, moving so they’re both leaning against the headboard. They join the call that way, deciding to wait until a gap in conversation comes up. 

“Where are you guys at the moment?” Taylor wonders about half way through the call, unsure as to which city they were currently staying in. 

“Le Havre!” Christen answers easily, having already been there twice throughout their stay. 

“Did you have a chance to go to any of those places I texted you, Tob?” Sarah questions, knowing that Tobin was eager about visiting some of them in the time she had. 

Tobin nods, “Yeah. I didn’t know if we’d have time to at first since we already had a lot of stuff planned, but we’ve been going out to explore the local areas for most of the time.” 

“Which ones have been your favorites?” Jeffrey asks when he thinks back to the number of tourist attractions he went to during his travels. 

“My favorite has definitely been the chalk cliffs in Étretat.” Christen answers easily, “I think they’re called La Falaise d’Amont?”

“I’ve been there!” Sarah exclaims excitedly, “They’re beautiful and the view is amazing!” 

“We went there last night.” Tobin grins, thinking back on how well everything went. “But we actually have some news.”

“You better not be moving to France or anything stupid like that.” Jeff cuts her off right away, “I love you both, but I’d rather not have my child thousands of miles away.” 

“In other words, he’d be happy for both of you if you were.” Cindy laughs at her husband, “...But please don’t do anything like that.” 

Tobin chuckles at them both, “No, Dad. We can barely speak a word of french, so that’s not going to happen, don’t worry.” 

“Alright, what’s your news then!” Jeff sits up a little taller, waiting to hear what his daughter has to say.

“So...” Tobin starts when she sees Christen nod in her direction, asking her to share their news. “Last night, I proposed to Christen...and she said yes!”

Christen nods along to Tobin’s words, beaming as she holds up her left hand. “We’re engaged!”

“Agh, no way!” Katie yells, throwing her hands up with excitement at the same time as Sarah and Jeffrey cheer loudly. Much like she’d promised Tobin months ago, she was the one cheering the loudest. 

Christen reaches out for Tobin’s hand with her right, linking their fingers together and squeezing it tightly. 

Cindy and Jeff both jump in their seats with excitement too, looking as if they wanted nothing more but to magically jump through the screen, as they let out an excited squeal before smiling at the pair. 

When everyone stops talking over each other, Perry is first to speak up. 

“Congrats, you two.” Perry tells them, “I’m so happy for both of you!” 

“I’m surprised how calm Perry is about this!” Taylors looks over at his wife, having expected her to react even more than Katie. 

Perry shrugs in his directions, winking with a small smile on her face. 

“No way, you knew?” Taylor’s jaw drops, Perry laughing as he looks her over as if to check for any sign of a head injury. 

“Maybe.” She shrugs again, looking into the distance. 

They all look at Tobin, waiting for her to react. Tobin raises her eyebrows at her older sister, “I’m just surprised that you actually managed to keep it a secret for this long. I thought you’d definitely tell at least Taylor and maybe Katie.” 

“You sounded like you were giving me a death threat, T.” Perry states seriously, making everyone laugh. “It was a very terrifying moment for me. Besides, I wanted to save the surprise for everyone else.” 

“I did not sound like I was death thre-” Tobin pauses, thinking the conversation over in their head. “Okay, maybe a little.”

“Can I lecture Tobin now for being nervous about the fact that Christen might say no?” Perry wonders, grinning at Tobin to show she’s only joking. Well, she’s half joking. 

“Hmm, I considered it.” Christen goes along with it, “I had to list my pros and cons before answering.” Tobin shoves her to the side, making her disappear out of the screen for a short moment before popping back up again. 

“You have to tell us everything!” Cindy demands, wanting to hear the story of how Tobin proposed. 

Christen recalls the story of how the previous night happened, letting Tobin fill in any gaps of things that she had planned for ahead of time, which Christen hadn’t been aware of. They’re half way through the story when their hotel door opens, interrupting them as they both look around the corner to see who it is. 

When they notice it’s only Kelley, they sit back again and continue the conversation. Kelley gives them an apologetic look when she realizes that she’s just interrupted their call, about to leave again when Christen makes room for her on the bed and pats the space next to her. Kelley squishes onto the bed with them, sitting out of frame to let Tobin continue telling the story. 

“How did you get into our room?” Christen asks her friend, knowing for a fact that they didn’t leave the door open by accident. 

Kelley pulls a keycard out of her hoodie pocket, passing it to Christen. “Tobin left this at lunch, I thought you might want it back.” 

Christen just shakes her head, knowing she should have expected something like this. She wouldn’t have even been surprised if Kelley had stolen and hid the keycard as a joke, to try and see if Tobin would notice that it’s missing - which Tobin would definitely not.

“Kel, you can be in the screen too you know.” Tobin laughs at her friend trying to stay on the bed without falling off the edge, “You don’t have to sit right on the end.” She moves along a little, making more room for Kelley and moving the laptop in front of Christen’s crossed legs, so they’d be able to see everyone. 

“This is Kelley!” Christen introduces as she wraps an arm around her friend’s shoulders, resting it there. 

They all greet her, already having heard many stories about Kelley from Christen and Tobin and being familiar with who she is. 

When Kelley jokes that she should be Christen’s maid of honor due to their long friendship and her being part of the family, Christen frowns for a brief moment, having to think back to both of them being bridesmaids at Tyler’s wedding. She knows that Kelley was supposed to be a bridesmaid at Channing’s wedding too, had it not been for her having to attend a family event instead and therefore not being able to fly out to Florida.

Christen thinks about the fact that she’ll never have had the opportunity to have her parents’ blessing on the person she’s marrying, unlike her siblings. Heck, she knows that it would be an easy  _ no  _ for both of them right now, but she would have loved to see their reaction if they’d accepted her and taken the chance to get to know Tobin, being so aware that they would love Tobin almost as much as she does. It’s moments like these where Christen wishes they were still in her life, and that she’d get the excitement of telling them that she’s engaged and getting married to the love of her life. 

She’s not going to think about that now though, pushing those thoughts away again. Christen isn’t going to let people that aren’t in her life anymore ruin one of the happiest moments she’ll ever have. She won’t let them control her life and emotions like that anymore. They had their chance - more than once - but now it’s her own life and freedom to live and she can make it whatever she wants to. It just makes Christen feel even more grateful to have such supportive people in her life, who will now officially turn into her in-laws in the foreseeable future. 

“We still have to call the Press trio and get ready to go out tonight, so I think we better hang up soon.” Tobin announces when she checks the time. 

“I’m definitely getting you both drunk tonight!” Kelley grins mischievously, having only ever seen Christen drink that much twice in her life. 

“Hah, no you’re not.” Christen quickly shuts her down, “We have a six o’clock flight tomorrow morning, so dream on.” 

“Shoot, I haven’t even packed yet.” Kelley remembers, making a mental note to do that later on. 

Christen nudges Tobin, “It’s okay, Tobin hasn’t either.” 

“Tobin never packs.” Katie chips in, being all too familiar with Tobin’s habit of packing hours before the flight and then complaining about it. 

Eventually they hang up the call, FaceTiming Tyler, Fran and Channing next. Despite Tyler’s night shift, they were able to catch her just before she’s about to go to sleep. 

Half an hour later, after having a fair share of tears from Cindy, Fran and Christen’s sisters, Kelley heads back to her room to pack and get ready. Tobin’s in the bathroom and still getting ready when Christen’s phone vibrates.

**Tyler :** Tobin asked us for our blessing, you know. I have a feeling that she hasn’t told you that yet, but she did. 

**Christen :** She did?

**Tyler :** Yeah, when you were working away. Tobin took me and Channing out one night, and then went around to Gran’s house for dinner a few days later. 

**Tyler :** She even took up mine and Channing’s offer to help her pick a ring. And in case you haven’t recognized the style of the band on your ring yet, think back to who has been keeping a similar ring at their house. 

Christen’s heart contracts at the messages from her sister, being reminded just how special Tobin is. 

Of course Tobin didn’t tell her, because she’s way too humble for that and wouldn’t use that as a way to prove herself to Christen. Not that she needed to prove herself in any way, since she does that every second of every day, but Tobin’s a person for more subtle, long-term love rather than it coming and going in waves. 

She looks down at the ring on her finger again, remembering what she’d noticed almost in an instant the previous day. It wasn’t a conscience that it looked similar to her great aunt's ring - it was the same as the ring. When she thinks back to all of the times she used to admire that ring as a young girl, the thing she’d always loved most about it was the band. Her grandmother, who she knows keeps the ring, most likely wouldn’t have known that, but she knows for a fact that Tobin knows her well enough to guess that right off the bat. 

Christen bites her lip, standing up and walking towards the bathroom. She finds Tobin brushing her freshly blow-dried hair, turning towards Christen as soon as she hears her approaching. 

“Hey, you ready?” Tobin asks Christen when she walks into the bathroom. 

Christen nods, not giving a verbal answer, walking up to Tobin and wrapping her arms around her. She closes her eyes, taking a deep breath and just inhaling Tobin’s familiar scent. 

“I love you.” She speaks in a hushed tone, just taking a moment to pause in between all of the events in the previous twenty-four hours. 

Tobin makes no move to pull away, hiding her face in Christen’s curls. “I love you too.” 

Christen moves out of the embrace, beaming when she looks at Tobin. 

“Look at you glowing!” Tobin chuckles, loving seeing Christen this happy and smiling as if every aspect of her life is at its most peaceful and positive. 

“I’m engaged to my favorite person in the world, do you blame me?” Christen leaves a number of kisses on Tobin’s lips, stopping when her smile grows too wide. “I need you to finish getting ready though!”

“You were the one that distracted me.” Tobin claims, raising her hands but leaving Christen with one last kiss before getting back to her original task. 

Christen leans against the doorframe, looking at her phone and letting out a grin. “Rach is so sweet!” She turns her phone towards Tobin, displaying an instagram post. There was a picture of Rachel, Tobin and Christen at Manhattan Beach a few months back. 

**_Massive congratulations to my best friends on their engagement. You’ve just made my World Cup so many times more special. I love you both and can’t wait to celebrate your love tonight._ **

Rachel hadn’t tagged either of them, knowing that they’d prefer to have the choice of commenting or just bringing it up in person, rather than having their already private instagram accounts out in public. 

She goes onto the comment section, leaving her own comment before any of their other friends will beat her to it. 

_ I love you, Rach! We’re so lucky to have you in our lives. Thank you for always being the most supportive friend.  _

Christen scrolls further down her timeline, only going back onto the post when she receives a notification. She goes back through the comments, skipping through the irrelevant ones from any fans and laughing at the ones from their friends. Christen moves over to Tobin, showing her the comment section. 

**_kelleyohara :_ ** _ @christenpress I’d like to argue that point and state that I’m the most supportive friend. _

**_kmewis19 :_ ** _ @kelleyohara way to ruin the moment KO ;-) _

**_zachertz :_ ** _ I can just hear you say this in an english accent… _

**_racheldaly3 :_ ** _ @zachertz whatever _

**_alexmorgan13 :_ ** _ What was that? I couldn’t understand you, sorry. _

**_racheldaly3 :_ ** _ @alexmorgan13 That’s getting so old now, wow.  _

**_kelleyohara :_ ** _ @alexmorgan13 Me too, how strange! _

**_alexmorgan13 :_ ** _ @kelleyohara Must be the hotel wifi... _

**_racheldaly3 :_ ** _ @kelleyohara @alexmorgan13  _ 🙄🙄🙄

**_julieertz :_ ** _ @christenpress Where do I put in my application for being the supportive friend? P.s I love you both the most.  _

**_racheldaly3 :_ ** _ @julieertz you love me more though, right? _

**_servacarrasco :_ ** _ so you’re telling me they got engaged...and I wasn’t there...and no one has told me yet? _

**_racheldaly3 :_ ** _ @servacarrasco you tell me _

**_alexmorgan13 :_ ** _ @servacarrasco if you’d pick up any of my FaceTime calls then you’d already know!!! _

“They’re crazy...all of them!” Tobin laughs as she reads through the comments again, reminding herself to also comment on the post when she gets a chance to. 

The group of them weren’t able to go to a bar, since they wanted to take Rachel too, but she was on a strict diet throughout the tournament which included no alcohol. Instead, they explored the city further and found one of the most recommended restaurants. 

They all knew that Kelley is more than likely to consume more alcohol than she should tonight, Alex also joining in, so the rest of them decided to be more careful with how much they drink. They didn’t want to be getting lost in a foreign country whilst being drunk - at least not in the middle of the night with an early flight the next day. 

Christen already said she wouldn’t have more than a glass. They’d have time to drink all of the alcohol in the world once they’re home, but she didn’t need it to celebrate. Just being there with her friends is enough of a celebration. 

Somehow, she ends up sitting in between Tobin and Kelley, which was likely down to the fact that she’s the only one that can deal with a drunk Kelley. Christen’s been looking after this Kelley for years, holding her hair back and picking her up in the middle of the night from College parties. She was more than used to it, so the others had a habit of subtly pushing Kelley in Christen’s direction whenever the number of drinks she’s having are getting out of control. 

“To Christen and Tobin.” Julie toasts with a huge grin, winking in their direction from where she’s sat opposite them. They all raise their glasses, looking over at the couple. 

Kelley leans in to leave a wet kiss on Christen’s cheek, which Christen wipes off at the same time as she pulls a face. “Thank you for that, Kelley!” 

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just react that way...” Kelley acts offended, huffing as she folds her arms and turns her head towards the empty table next to them. 

Tobin, oblivious to what was going on around her as she was busy talking to Alex, turns towards Christen once she finishes her own conversation. She leans in closer, speaking in a low voice to keep the conversation to themselves. 

“You okay, babe?” Tobin checks in with her, kissing her temple a few times whilst Christen leans into the touch. 

“Yeah, I’m so happy!” She turns to look at the hazel-eyed woman next to her. 

Tobin gives her a small smile, leaving one last kiss on her temple. “Me too.” 

“Oh, so you don’t pull a face when Tobin does it?” Kelley narrows her eyes at Christen, furrowing her eyebrows. 

“Why would I pull a face?” Christen chuckles, not being certain on how that would make sense. 

“I’m just saying…” Kelley announces, “You pulled a face when I kissed you on the cheek, but when Tobin does it you don’t react.” 

Christen starts laughing at her, counting in her head how many beers Kelley has had by now. “I’m in a relationship with Tobin, so I think she’d be a bit concerned if I would pull away every time she tries to kiss me.” 

“Fine,” Kelley folds her arms, sitting back in her chair and pouting. “If that’s how it’s going to be then no more kisses on the cheek from me.” 

“I’m going to miss them so much!” Christen comments sarcastically, knowing Kelley was only trying to make her feel guilty now. 

“I would too if I were you.” Kelley replies, moving to kiss Christen’s cheek again. Christen moves her head towards Tobin just in time, preventing Kelley from reaching her. She sinks back in her chair, pretending to be more upset by the minute. “That was very uncalled for.” 

\-------

“Today was a good day!” Tobin mumbles with a smile, laying down on her side and facing Christen. 

“It was.” Christen laces their fingers together, kissing Tobin’s knuckles. “It didn’t beat yesterday, though.” 

“That’s a tough one to beat,” She whispers through the darkness of the room, her eyes slowly adapting to the lighting and displaying the shadows. “I’m not sure if it’s even beatable.” 

“I think our wedding day can probably top it.” Christen suggests, thinking about it for a long moment. “Okay, maybe it’ll just have to be equal and join it at the top spot.”

“It still hasn’t sunk in.” Tobin continues, “You’re my fiancée, that’s crazy!” 

“I’m so lucky.” Christen moves her head forwards on the pillow, kissing Tobin’s lips and then only leaving an inch between them afterwards. “You and I need to talk, by the way!” 

“Uh oh.” Tobin bites her lip, unsure of what Christen could possibly be wanting to talk to her about.

“Tyler mentioned something interesting to me today.” Christen looks up at Tobin, waiting to see if she’s going to deny it.

She’s surprised when Tobin bites her lip and responds, “Oh, did she now?” 

“Mhm.” Christen nods, trying to get a read on Tobin’s expression. “So care to confirm that you asked Channing, Tyler and Grandfran for their blessing whilst I was in Utah?” 

“I may or may not have.” Tobin’s gaze moves around the room, suddenly avoiding eye contact. 

Christen uses her free hand to brush Tobin’s hair out of her face, diverting the path of Tobin’s eyes back to her own. “You did?” She questions to confirm, watching as Tobin nods with a shy smile.

“Baby, I love you! You have no idea how much that means to me, especially because it was never necessary in the first place.” She whispers in disbelief, watching Tobin’s face light up. “The fact that you even thought to include them in this just makes me love you even more, if that’s possible. I know it will have meant the world to them too and it’s something they’ll never forget. You’re my dream girl, always.” 

“I love you.” Tobin kisses Christen’s lips with a smile, “They deserved to be in on this too and it wouldn’t have felt right if I’d just have proposed to you without anyone's blessing. I couldn’t ask your parents, as much as I would have loved to, so I knew right away that I wanted to ask them.” 

She pulls Tobin into her, smiling as Tobin nuzzles her face into Christen’s neck and pulls the covers higher. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, baby.” 

“Me too.” Tobin smiles as she leaves a kiss on Christen’s neck, closing her eyes and resting her hand on Christen’s bare stomach underneath her shirt. 

\-------

Tobin would swear that they hadn’t even slept yet by the time the alarm goes off, but she’d be wrong. 

She reluctantly moves away from Christen’s warm body, reaching for her phone and shutting the alarm off before it can go on any longer. They don’t have long until they have to be at the airport - only just under an hour - so they have to get up soon. 

Luckily, the airport is only a short ten minute drive away from the hotel, with the flight being just over an hour, so they’d be in Lyon before they know it. 

Tobin tilts her head the other way, seeing that Christen still has her eyes shut and is pretending to be asleep. She moves onto her side so she’s hovering above her, peppering her face with kisses until Christen starts laughing. 

“I’m going to sleep for three days straight when we get back from France.” Christen announces as she sits up, remembering that they have to get up early. She tries to rub the sleep out of her eyes, stretching her body with a yawn. “I swear we barely sleep and get up at crazy times every morning.” 

“We can just nap all day, it’ll be fine.” Tobin agrees, also feeling the lack of sleep. 

“Sounds like a plan.” Christen giggles, knowing that it won’t be far off from how they’ll spend their first days back. 

Seventy-five minutes later, and they’ve all made it to the airport and checked their luggage in. 

“Should we go and find some coffee?” Julie asks Christen, looking around to find somewhere near their terminal that might sell coffee. 

Christen nods, getting her wallet out and placing her bag next to Tobin. 

“I’m getting some coffee, do you want anything?” Christen questions when Tobin turns to look at her. “Ehm, no thanks. I have some water, so I should be fine.” 

“Anyone else want a coffee?” Christen wonders, before seeing that Kelley, Alex and Kristie all bought some already before Tobin, Julie and her cab made it to the airport. 

She tries to memorise where the group is sitting, following Julie on the way to find some hot drinks. Less than two minutes after they left, Tobin leans back in her seat, letting out a yawn. Kristie laughs at her right away, “You should have asked for a coffee!” 

“I know, I’m going to regret that.” Tobin nods, “I’ll steal some of Christen’s or get one on the plane.” 

“Good luck with that first one.” Kelley chuckles, knowing very well that Christen won’t share her coffee. “I doubt they’ll have found anything yet, so why don’t you just text her?”

Tobin pulls out her phone, going onto her recent messages and being surprised to see that her and Christen’s thread is gone. She scrolls up, refreshing the page and opening all of the chats but not seeing it. 

_ Strange, Christen must have deleted it. _

She shrugs it off, going to type a new message but not finding Christen’s name in her contacts. By the time she’s turned her phone on and off and tried another time, she decides to just type her number in and send a message that way. 

She starts typing out Christen’s phone number in the top bar, laughing when she sees what comes up as soon as she presses the enter bar. 

**_To : hot fiancée_ ** 😘

**Tobs :** Babeeeee...please could you get me a coffee too? 

**Tobs :** Nice name by the way, hot fiancée! Only took me a good five minutes to find your contact on my phone.

**Hot fiancée** 😘 : I’m glad you like it ;-)

**Tobs :** So, coffee? 

**Hot fiancée** 😘 : Only if you promise to keep my name that way, at least until the wedding. 

**Tobs :** Really? 😂

**Tobs :** Ugh, fine. I guess so. 

**Tobs :** I mean I do have a fiancée and she’s hot, so it’s not a lie.

**Hot fiancée** 😘 : I promise I’ll let you change it to sexy wife once we’re married.

**Tobs :** Of course you will…

**Tobs :** Since I love you, I might just consider it.

**Hot fiancée** 😘 : You know what they say! Happy wife, happy life 😉

**Tobs :** Well we’re not married yet, so you have to save that until later. 

Their flight was called up to board shortly after, only being a small commercial plane due to the short distance. 

“I hate turbulence.” Tobin cringes, reaching over and threading her fingers through Christen’s, which were resting on her lap. They hadn’t experienced that much turbulence in their previous flights, since they’d always flown longer distances and therefore have bigger planes where it couldn’t be felt as much. 

She loves this side about Christen, where there’s no judgement towards the other. Even though Christen is always this way and would never make fun of her for any fears or opinions, it reassures her over and over again every time she’s met with these situations.

“I know.” Christen gives her a sympathetic smile, giving her a short kiss. “”It’s okay though, I promise. Turbulence happens on almost every flight and it’s nothing to worry about.”

She can see Tobin’s unsure look, deciding to distract her instead. “Hmm, what’s your favorite childhood memory?” Christen wonders, squeezing her hand. “Tell me one that I don’t know yet.”

Christen watches as Tobin thinks for a moment before perking up and turning towards her. “When we were little, we used to go on trips to Rhode Island. Those were always my favorite, I loved it so much there.” Tobin begins, beaming at the memories. “I used to be so disappointed every time we had to leave at the end of summer break. We used to rent this small holiday house there for a few weeks each year and just spend the full days playing outside or swimming at the beach.” 

“That sounds amazing!” Christen smiles, having not expected such a response. 

“Yeah, it’s beautiful there.” Tobin nods eagerly, “Everytime I think about when I was happiest during my childhood, it was there. It makes me wish that we’d still visit there every now and them - I’m not sure when we stopped to be honest.”

“Maybe we could go there one day?” Christen wonders, trying to gauge Tobin’s reaction. “We could go once we have kids and take them. You could show us around and relive some of your memories, but with your own kids...Only if you’re up for it obviously.” 

“I would love that!” Tobin smiles widely, leaning in to kiss Christen’s lips. “I can’t wait to have kids with you one day.” 

“Me too.” Christen agrees, mirroring Tobin’s look of happiness. “I already know you’re going to be the best mom.” 

“What about yours? I want to hear your favorite childhood memory.” Tobin sits up a little taller, lifting their hands up and kissing the back of Christen’s. 

“Mine would have to be when I used to go to the beach with my mom, but you already know that so my second favorite would probably be Youth National camps, believe it or not.” Christen says thoughtfully, “I used to have this friend there, Lana, and we were like best friends at the time. We used to be roommates for every camp! We used to mess around in the ice baths the whole time, have whole movie marathons and we just had fun playing soccer together.” 

“Have you spoken to her since you quit?” Tobin asks, seeing how happy Christen looks and wondering why they aren’t friends anymore, since Christen has never brought her up before. 

“We did for a few months, but then it was hard to catch up or talk much when we didn’t see each other regularly, so we eventually lost contact.” Christen shrugs, “I guess sometimes it’d be nice to reconnect with childhood friends, but we’d be such different people now and at different stages in our lives. I always believe that everything happens for a reason, so maybe we were only ever meant to be friends when we were young.” 

“Yeah, maybe.” Tobin agrees, “There’s a few friends from Portland and New Jersey that I wish I would still talk to, but I know that they wouldn’t fit in my life anymore. I’ve grown and changed massively since moving to Cali, and some of my friends there were so different to the ones I have now.” 

Before they know it, they’re touching down in Lyon and on their way to the hotel. It’s not game day for another two days, so they have plenty of time to explore the city.

The semi finals went better than they could have ever hoped for. 

Despite the United States Women’s National Team being one of the best teams in the world, with a better depth of players than most other teams, they weren’t able to win against England. 

In the end, England ended up winning 2-1 after a penalty kick in the seventieth minute, which they weren’t able to come back from. This dropped them down to the play-offs for third place, whereas England advanced on to the finals where they’ll be facing the Netherlands. 

By the time that game comes around, five days after the semi finals game, everyone is feeling the nerves. 

England has already won two world cups in the past, the most recent one being four years ago, but that wasn’t to say that they’re going to win another one. All it takes is one bad day for the team, and they’d be going home with a silver medal instead of the trophy. 

The Groupama Stadium is packed and almost fully sold out for the final game, making the pressure and anticipation even higher. 

The game starts off slow, the starting XI not doing too much work and just trying to get some touches on the ball in. By the twenty-seventh minute, an opportunity presents itself and Rachel takes it, assisting Ellen White to the first goal of the game.

The Netherlands didn't take long to catch up though, quickly evening the score out before half time and managing to take another few shots on target with the hopes of finishing this game on a win. 

Carly Telford reads each shot perfectly, getting possession of the ball before it can reach the goal. They go into half time on a 1-1 draw, everyone in the stadium nervously waiting for the second half to start. 

The second half starts off at a faster pace and a higher intensity, with England managing to score another two goals in the first fifteen minutes. By the time they’re up 3-1, the Netherlands are slowly just trying to keep possession, having a good feeling that they won’t be catching up anymore. 

Another opportunity presents itself when a mistake is made by the defense, allowing Beth Mead to score the fourth and final goal of the game. Everyone is cheering loudly when the final whistle blows, the families, friends and fans in the stands jumping up in celebration. 

Rachel runs over to them after celebrating with the team, climbing up on the chairs so she’s able to reach the stands, taking it in turns to receive hugs from all of them. 

The team departs after the celebration ceremony, heading towards the changing rooms to start their own celebration. In the time that they spend in the changing rooms, then eventually showering and dressed for the second round of celebrations, the friends and families of the players made their way back to the hotel to also get changed.

  
  


They arrive at the outdoor venue first, all grabbing a round of drinks already and preparing for the players to arrive. The crowd lets out massive cheers when they arrive, letting them through the group of people until they reach the middle. 

They celebrate for what feels like hours, all of them eventually losing all sense of what is going on through the alcohol in their system. If you’d ask Christen, the last thing she remembers is singing along to  _ On Top Of The World  _ by  _ Imagine Dragons,  _ her voice slowly fading as she nudged Tobin. 

\-------

Christen wakes up with a throbbing head, opening her eyes for a split second before shutting them tightly to guard them from the daylight. 

She lies on her back, massaging her forehead and shielding her eyes, opening them slower this time. Christen turns her head to see Tobin still passed out on the pillow next to her, snoring lightly. 

_ How much did I drink last night?  _

Christen tries to recall any part of the previous night, but notices the mistake when she thinks about any form of alcohol. Within a split second she’s running over to the bathroom, reaching the toilet just in time. 

“This is why you don’t drink, Christen!” She murmurs to herself, sliding down the wall and kneeling on the cold floor. 

It can’t have been more than five minutes of her hanging over the toilet, before Tobin bursts into the bathroom too, Christen moving out of the way just in time. 

Christen pulls the spare hair bobble off her wrist, taking the hair that Tobin is holding back behind her head, throwing it up into a bun, just like she’d done with her own. 

She thinks she might be in the clear by now, but is quickly proven wrong when she feels herself about to vomit again. Christen taps Tobin’s side, her seemingly getting the hint and moving back. 

By the time Christen feels her system return more towards normal, both of their heads are pounding with pain. 

“I’m never drinking again.” Christen groans, trying to predict if she’s going to vomit again. 

“I can’t believe we thought this was a good idea!” Tobin exclaims, hiding her face in her hands. “How much did we even have?”

“I have no clue.” Christen shrugs, thinking back to the previous night once again. “And how did we make it back to the hotel?” 

Deciding she’s fine again, Christen stands up and grabs two of the plastic cups that the hotel provides. She fills them with cold water, passing one to Tobin so they could both rinse their mouths. Afterwards, she grabs the mouthwash, passing Tobin hers too.

Tobin flops down after washing her mouth out, lying on the cold tiles and covering her eyes with her arm. “Have we got any ibuprofen?” 

Christen finds the package, taking the ibuprofen and drinking a small glass of water before passing two to Tobin. 

“Thanks, babe.” She murmurs, sitting up to take them. 

“Aren’t we a pretty sight?” Christen chuckles, looking into the mirror, as Tobin rests her head down on Christen’s shoulder. 

Tobin goes to respond, opening her mouth before pulling a face. “I really need to brush my teeth!” 

Five minutes later, and they’ve pulled the curtains shut and are crawling back into bed, predicting that none of their friends would be leaving their rooms today either. 

Christen grabs Tobin’s arm, moving it so it’s wrapped around herself and hiding her face in Tobin’s body as much as she can, determined to sleep for a few more hours. Tobin simply follows, moving her other arm around Christen too and shutting her eyes too. 

After another three hours of sleep, they order some light room service, knowing they’d need to eat something before they’d be able to take any more ibuprofen or get all of the alcohol out of their systems. 

They stay in bed the whole time, finishing their food and then curling up in the duvet again. Tobin scrolls through instagram, coming across a new post from Rachel, which was a group picture of Rachel’s family, their group of friends, and Rachel herself. 

**_Thank you for travelling France with me for the past month. Your support means the world to me and I couldn’t have done it without any of you. (And thanks for the constant hype texts Serv and Zach!)_ **

She turns the phone in Christen’s direction, watching as she takes a long minute to take the post in. Christen turns her head towards Tobin, furrowing her eyebrows. 

“We took that?” Christen genuinely questions, still not being able to recall any of it. They both burst out laughing when Tobin shrugs, also being unable to remember much.

Tobin shuts her eyes again, “I can’t laugh, it hurts my head too much.” 

She lifts up her head, pulling the pillow out from under it and dumping it on her face instead. Christen lifts up the corner of it, peeking through and sneaking her head under too. 

She shuffles closer to Tobin and rests her head there. “We can just stay under here all day, I don’t mind.” Christen suggests with a smile, trying not to laugh again. 

“That sounds good!” Tobin nods seriously, moving her head until there’s no space between them anymore. 

“Can we at least move the pillow?” Christen chuckles, trying to tug on it. “This is a little close for comfort.” 

“If you have to.” Tobin groans, apparently deciding that now was the perfect time for a nap. “Have I told you that I hate alcohol?” 

Christen just pats her back lightly and sits up much to Tobin’s annoyance. “Why don’t we go on a walk and get some fresh air?” 

“No, Chris!” Tobin insists, putting up a fight. Christen tugs on her arm, trying to get her to sit up. 

Eventually, Tobin gets out of bed and drags herself into the shower, scrambling for her sunglasses right after getting dressed. 

They stroll down towards Plage de L’atol, stopping for some donuts on the way. Once they reach the small beach, they find an empty corner towards the end of it, laying out the towels that they brought and lying down in the sand. 

Tobin looks up at the sky through her sunglasses, just embracing the silence and having a moment to relax and take it all in. Hearing the young children laughing and screeching a few feet away makes her miss Cole, her energetic little nephew that loves the beach just as much as Tobin does. 

There’s been many times in the past where she wishes she could live closer to them and see all of her family more regularly. They are so spread out across the states that it makes it difficult to see them all at the same time, apart from in the holiday season when they all spend it together - which was relatively rare too as there often happened to be at least one of them spending it with their in-laws. 

It’s moments like those where she truly realizes how hard it must be for Christen, who doesn’t get to see most of her family anymore at all, nevermind just for the holidays. 

Tobin looks down, moving her hand and linking it with Christen’s. She stays there for what feels like hours, not moving an inch and just letting the sunlight hit her skin. Eventually, Christen moves her hand, sitting up and pulling her book out of her purse to read for a while. 

“I wonder how Kelley is doing today.” Tobin turns her head to look at Christen. “If this is the state we’re in, then I can’t imagine how bad she must be. She pretty much blacked out before I even finished my second drink.” 

“I’m honestly surprised she’s never ended up in the hospital before!” Christen admits, thinking back to all of the times she had to pick Kelley up from College parties or drag her home after nights out. 

“I might be the biggest lightweight in the world compared to her.” Tobin chuckles, knowing that she’s not used to much alcohol in her system since she usually just has one or two glasses with Christen at home and only occasionally drinks when they’re out for dinner or at Happy Hour. 

“High five to being sensible drinkers.” Christen laughs, looking down at Tobin and lifting her hand into the air. Tobin lifts her hand to meet Christen’s half way. 

“Can we go surfing with Ali and Ash when we get back?” Tobin asks to find out what Christen’s plans or ideas were. They still have a month left of summer break, but haven’t made any set plans. 

“Of course we can.” Christen agrees, “You don’t have to ask, baby.” 

“I know,” Tobin explains, “But I want to go all together, so I have to make sure you’re up for it.” 

“Well, I am.” Christen grins, leaning down and pecking Tobin’s lips. “I also think we should have dinner with Tyler, Chan and Gran, because I don’t know how patient they’ll be to celebrate with us in person. 

“I think that can be arranged.” Tobin winks, the smile on her face reaching her eyes. “...As long as there’s no alcohol involved.” 

Christen pulls a face, “Nope, no alcohol. Never having any of that ever again!” 

\------- 

The next weeks fly by and they’re back at work before they know it. The remainder of their summer break was filled with spending time with Christen’s family, spending as much time as possible on the beach and just relaxing. Whilst they were both wishing they’d be able to see Tobin’s family again during that time, they knew that their thanksgiving trip was coming up and booking another flight now would just add onto the travel money they’d already spent this year. 

Happy Hour was busy today, busier than usual.

With the new year starting, there’d been a number of new teachers and teaching assistants joining the staff recently, so they were all still trying to get to know everyone and introduce themselves. Usually, they’d all come for a couple of weeks and then it slowly dies back down to the usual group with a handful of new people. 

Christen is standing at the side, leaning against the wall next to Kelley, with a new teaching assistant standing in between them. Kelley is probably on her second or third drink by now, whilst a sober Christen is trying to keep an eye on the amount her friend is planning on drinking tonight. She thinks that the new teaching assistant may be called Emma, but Christen hasn’t paid enough attention to remember. Instead, she is just looking around and letting Kelley chat to the teaching assistant instead. 

Christen wasn’t even sure about the reasoning behind Emma standing with them. Maybe it’s because she’s currently working in the Maths department, so she has been working with Kelley all day, or maybe it’s just because she felt awkward standing in the middle of everyone else. 

Tobin wandered off to the restroom a while ago and ended up in a conversation with Alex and Servando on her way back, but Christen isn’t in much of a mood to make a full conversation with other people anyway - hence the reason she’s just listening into Emma and Kelley’s. 

It’s been a long day - week even - so she’s not planning on staying much longer, unless Tobin doesn’t want to go home yet. She seems to be enjoying herself, being a social butterfly today and making conversation with pretty much anyone that had came up to Christen and Tobin earlier. 

She just wants Tobin to have a nice time, so she doesn’t mind staying. 

Emma on the other hand, is asking Kelley all sorts of questions, from her personal life to questions about their school and it’s staff. Christen realizes that she might be coming across as rude, so why not casually join the conversation if the moment presents itself. 

Their dialogue comes to a stop, lingering in the silence for a moment. Christen just stands there awkwardly, about the speak up, when Emma beats her to it. 

“What does she do?” Emma asks with a hint of curiosity in her voice, unmistakably pointing over to the dirty-blonde that is sitting on one of the high chairs. Tobin is still facing Alex, so only her side profile is visible to them. 

Kelley takes a sip of her drink, assuming that Emma was just asking for the sake of getting to know everyone. “She’s our extra curricular manager, but she works part-time in the PE department too.” 

Emma hums with a nod, continuing the conversation as she speaks bluntly. “There’s no way she’s straight!” 

Kelley looks over to her with confusion, slightly taken aback by the quick and random statement about something that has nothing to do with the girl who has slightly curly, black hair and is standing next to her. Frankly, it’s also none of her concern. “Uhm...yeah, she isn’t.” 

“She’s hot…” Emma almost drools as she speaks up again all of the sudden, almost making Christen choke on her glass of soda. 

“Don’t you think she’s a little old for you?” Kelley asks, raising her eyebrow at the girl who looks like she’s freshly out of College. 

“She’s probably not  _ that  _ much older.” Emma continues, “Besides, I might be into that, how would you know?” 

Christen and Kelley lock eyes briefly, both looking at each other with a mixture of surprise and disbelief. Considering the fact that this girl had only just met Kelley this week and Christen today, she is being rather open and forward with her chosen topic of conversation. 

Christen would usually be the first person to defend her relationship and cut them off, but she has Kelley next to her and knows that she’ll just shoot them down until they realize that they’re setting themselves up for disappointment. 

Why not let a tipsy Kelley have a little fun and use it for her own entertainment?

Besides, she trusts Tobin completely and knows that she wouldn’t even blink an eye into another direction, so she doesn’t have anything to worry about. Her and Tobin are both fully committed and would never betray the other in any way, instead always telling each other if someone approached them and getting a good laugh out of it, as they both know that it’s hopeless for people to even try. 

Kelley sighs, leaning against the wall again and settling for a simple response. “She’s in a relationship too.” 

Christen expected the young girl to drop the conversation after this, most likely backing off, but instead she kept pushing. “Well, I can’t see them with her right now so technically, I don’t know that.” 

Christen looks over into Tobin’s direction, the same place as where Emma is looking too, locking eyes at the same time when Tobin searches the room to locate Christen. 

Tobin finishes her drink, giving her a soft smile and starts walking towards them before Kelley gets the chance to answer the teaching assistant again. 

“Oh, she’s coming over to me!” Emma speaks excitedly, “Maybe I can offer to buy her a drink or get her number.” 

Kelley’s eyes go wide and her jaw almost drops, not quite believing the comments that are coming from the person next to her. “You did get the part where she’s in a relationship, right?” 

Emma shrugs, “Maybe she’s into that - she seems like the type of person who would be. It’s not like anyone would ever know if something happens.” She continues, “You never know until you give it a shot!” 

Tobin reaches them before Emma is able to continue. 

She stickers her hand out, maybe a little too eagerly, clearly thinking that Tobin’s attention was on her this whole time. 

Kelley can’t help but chuckle when an oblivious Tobin moves towards Christen instead, leaving a sweet peck on her lips and placing a hand on her lower back. 

“Hey, babe!” Tobin greets, kissing Christen’s forehead before turning towards the other duo, only just noticing that someone she doesn’t know is also present. 

The teaching assistant’s jaw drops and a look of shock fills her facial features, but Christen speaks before she’s able to say anything. 

“Tobs this is Emma, she’s the new Math’s TA who’s been working with Kelley. Emma this is Tobin, my  _ fiancée.”  _

Emma’s eyes go wide whilst she tries to puzzle all of the pieces together in her head, blushing at the realization. “You two? I’m- What? I-” 

“Oh, it’s fine.” Christen speaks a little harshly, returning the blunt tone. “You wouldn’t have got anywhere even if you tried, trust me.” 

She stands there awkwardly, quickly downing the rest of her drink and then clearly trying to get away from the situation. “By the way - she’s definitely not the type that you were thinking of!” Christen calls out just before she has the chance to walk away. 

Kelley bursts out laughing the minute she’s out of their ear shot, “I can’t believe she just-, what the fuck?” 

Tobin looks at them with a puzzled look on her face, trying to get a read on either of them. “Do we not like her?”

“Nope,” Christen replies in an instant, shaking her head as she throws a look of disgust towards the young woman that turns around for a split second once she’s a few feet away. “We do not, baby!” 

“Why? What happened?” Tobin asks when Kelley wipes the tears from under her eyes, clearly finding the situation much funnier from the alcohol in her system. 

“She just-” Kelley starts before falling into another fit of laughter, “She came here and thought you were coming over for her. I told her that you’re dating someone but she insisted that she could ask you out because no one would have to find out.” 

Kelley just continues laughing as Tobin’s eyebrows furrow, “You should have seen her face when you kissed Christen - she looked so embarrassed. She was just rambling on about you seeming like the type who would cheat or hook up with random girls or whatever.” 

Christen chuckles too, feeling less tense now that Tobin is next to her. 

“She said that?” Tobin asks with shock, raising her eyebrows and looking at Christen who nods. 

“Well I hate to disappoint her, but I’ve only got eyes for one person!” Tobin smiles softly, leaning in to kiss Christen again. 

Christen leans her head into Tobin's shoulder once Kelley disappears a moment later, going to get herself a refill and find Julie. 

“Tell me the full story of what happened, please?” Tobin requests as she wraps her arms around Christen, showing her that she isn’t paying attention to anyone else in the room. 

\-------

Tobin can’t help but laugh as she sits up against the headboard. “So that’s what happens when someone annoys you, jealous Christen comes out?” 

“I wasn’t jealous!” Christen pouts, swinging her leg over and straddling Tobin. Tobin’s hands make their way down to Christen’s ass right away, making the younger woman chuckle at how predictable the action was. 

“Okay, maybe I was a little jealous.” Christen admits, placing her arms on Tobin’s shoulders. “I just don’t like the thought of you being with anyone else.” 

Christen’s eyes drop, looking at the mattress with a hint of sadness. They follow the path up her naked body a few seconds later, looking Tobin in the eyes again. “I couldn’t imagine not seeing your beautiful eyes every day, not having your arms wrapped around me throughout the day and not telling you every little thing that I experience, just to share the memories with you.” 

“You’re so important to me and such a huge part of my life, that I want to make sure that I do everything I can on a daily basis to show that I love you and want you to stay.” Christen explains, as Tobin’s hands move up to her bare back, rubbing them up and down. 

“You already do.” Tobin easily answers as she hugs Christen tightly, “You already do so much for me, even by just constantly supporting me and being the person that I can trust with anything. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

“Hey,” Tobin nudges Christen slightly, reaching for Christen’s hand and taking it into her own. She lifts it up between them, so it’s in Christen’s view, kissing her ring finger. “See, I’m here for the rest of your life.” 

Christen hugs her tightly, “I wish you’d know just how much I love you.” 

“I think I have a pretty good idea from the way I feel about you.” Tobin exclaims, letting a smile creep onto her face. 

She lies down, Christen moving off of her and lying next to her. Christen props herself up on her elbow, locking eyes with Tobin. 

“I quite liked jealous Christen though!” Tobin winks, “She’s very...controlling in bed?” 

“Oh, so you’re into that?” Christen gives her a curious facial expression as she tilts her head, “Interesting...very interesting.” 

“Okay, okay!” Tobin laughs as she drops her head back down before looking up at Christen again. “Don’t even pretend to act as if you didn’t know that.” 

Christen yawns, finding her usual position lying partly on Tobin and resting her head down on her chest. Tobin massages her head with one hand, drawing patterns with her fingertips on Christen’s back with her other. 

“You wear me out, woman!” Christen laughs as she lifts her head up with another yawn, making Tobin giggle too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out a little boring in my opinion, but I hope the specific scene wasn't disappointing. I tried lol. 
> 
> I didn't want to spend too much time focusing on the actual games of the World Cup and skipped quite a few weeks towards the end, but hopefully it still made sense. 
> 
> Thanks for reading if you made it this far!! And as always, any mistakes are mine so I'm sorry about that.


	22. I Think I Kinda, You Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We've been together, hand-in-hand through it all.  
> From the minute we kissed and my heart skipped a beat,  
> To the night that we danced and I was swept off my feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning number one : This chapter ended up SO long oops. I didn't mean for it to be this long, so I'm sorry if you get bored and stop reading it. If you make it to the end, I hope you enjoyed this massive chapter of fluff, because we all need a bit of that atm :)  
> -  
> Warning number two : I have no energy to proof read 37k works right now, so just mind the million and one mistakes that you're likely to find in this. I'll get back to those another day.

“Tobs?” Christen speaks into the fresh air as they sit down on a small bench by the pier. 

They’d just had a date night at a brand new restaurant - having only opened less than two weeks ago - deciding to go for a walk along the beach at Santa Monica Pier afterwards and just spending some time in the humid air before walking back to their car. 

“Mhm,” Tobin hums, encouraging Christen to continue and speak her thoughts. She turns her body more towards her, showing Christen that she has her full attention. 

Christen shrugs shyly, “So I was thinking the other day, and I realized that we’ve never discussed the whole name situation.” 

She looks up at Tobin, who nods and signals for her to continue. 

Christen was right, they still haven't spoken about the name situation. Tobin didn’t want to press on the potential outcome of it, instead letting Christen come to her once she is ready to talk about it and discuss it. 

Sharing a surname is so important for Tobin and something she’s always wanted for when she gets married. She’s always planned for it in her head and hoped that whoever she marries would have the same opinion as her. 

Of course she’d love for Christen to be a Heath, but she’s also more than willing to be a Press if that’s what Christen wants. The only thing she’d put up a fight for is them sharing a name, the details of which name doesn’t matter as much as that. 

Besides, if she would end up as a Press, she’d not only be taking Christen’s name but also Grandfran’s name, so she couldn’t possibly complain about that.

However, if this is something Christen really wouldn't want and it came down to keeping their names or not getting married, then Tobin would pick marrying Christen without changing their names in a heartbeat.

“I-” Christen begins, before closing her mouth again and thinking her approach over in her head. She isn’t sure what Tobin wants, so she wants to propose her wish slowly and gauge her reaction as she goes. “I know we don’t even need a label to stay together forever, nevermind sharing a name, but it’s something I really want...if that’s okay with you.”

“I really want that too.” Tobin voices, trying to keep her words simple. “I love how permanent it feels to share one.” 

Christen nods, knowing exactly what she means. 

“Well, it’s obviously more your choice than mine, but…” Christen begins, biting her lip and taking Tobin’s hand into her own. “I’ve always loved the idea of a family name, where me, my kids and my partner all share a name. Apart from wanting to honor the fact that you were the one who proposed, I’d also really love for our kids to have your name in the future. So I guess what I’m asking is if you’d let me take your name?” 

Tobin’s eyes light up, as she squeezes Christen’s hand. “Really?” 

Christen nods, giving her a hopeful look. Tobin leans in to leave a kiss on Christen’s lips, pulling back again with a beaming smile. “I’d love for you to be a Heath! You’d really want that?” 

“So much!” Christen grins, “Aside from me wanting your name because of how much I love you - and also for our future - it would also link to your family. They’ve all been so generous and loving towards me since the day I met them, and made me feel like part of the family since day one, but this would just make it more official to me.” 

“I know I’m not in the position I’d want to be with my parents, but even if I was, I want you to know that it wouldn’t change my decision on this.” Christen clarifies, just wanting to reassure Tobin that it wasn’t because of her current family situation - even though Tobin hadn’t even thought of that. 

Christen just knows how much it would mean to her to be in the Heath family on paper and not just in her heart. 

“I would love that so much, babe.” A smile lights up Tobin’s face, leaning in and kissing her again. 

“I guess it’s settled them.” Christen’s smile matches Tobin’s as she cups her cheek and admires Tobin for a long moment. “I can’t believe I’m the one that gets to marry you.” 

Tobin squeezes Christen’s thigh, “I hope you know that my Mom is going to be so excited when she finds out you’re going to be a Heath.” 

“She’s the sweetest.” Christen chuckles, already feeling excited to see Cindy again in a few months. 

Tobin stands up first, sticking her hand out for Christen to take. “Come on, let’s go home.” 

“I think a glass of champagne on the balcony to celebrate sounds like it would be a good idea.” Christen suggests as she follows Tobin’s lead. 

Tobin winks in her direction, “And I think getting to undress you afterwards sounds like an even better idea.” 

“Oh, so you think you’re going to get  _ that  _ lucky?” Christen raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t know, am I?” Tobin stops them in their tracks, pulling Christen in for a deep kiss. Christen melts into the feeling of it, her knees going weak and feeling like they’re going to give out.

When Tobin pulls away with a soft kiss, she opens her eyes and holds eye contact. Christen's lips turn up into a smile. “It’s looking pretty positive.” 

Tobin happily takes Christen’s hand into her own, kissing her cheek and trying to find their way back to the car. 

\-----

Their Sunday morning was spent making plans - together.

They’d slowly been starting some wedding plans now that the school year was in full swing again. They both didn’t want it to feel like a chore at any point though. 

They want it to be something fun for them to plan and look forward to - something for them. To avoid that feeling of it being forced, despite knowing it will appear when they look into the less exciting details and aspects of it, they just sit down together whenever they feel like it and find a place to start. 

Which tends to be most days because they both couldn’t be more excited to marry each other.

It’s moments like those where Tobin’s never been more thankful for Christen’s skill of always being organized and having everything planned out, knowing she won’t forget anything and will approach it in the best way. 

They weren’t particularly in any rush though, happy to simply enjoy the time of them being engaged. Right from the start, they both agreed that they weren’t the type of people to wait years before having their wedding, but they figured out that if they continue planning at the pace they currently are, then they would be able to get married within just over a year of being engaged.

“Why is picking a wedding venue so hard?” Christen groans, throwing her head onto the backrest of the sofa. “There’s so many locations to pick from!”

“You know what sucks even more?” Tobin asks her, propping her head up by resting her elbow on the back of the sofa. 

Christen turns slightly towards Tobin, “What?” 

“The fact that not every venue would take us because we’re both women.” She sighs deeply, “It fucking sucks. I don’t understand the issues people have with it, there’s so many bad people out there that they don’t have any problems with and all we’re trying to do is be happy.”

They’d already faced issues with this, despite not having a set mind yet. There’d been a few venues that they liked more than others, so they’d contacted them just to start gathering some general ideas of availability and finance. Two out of the five had turned them down right away when finding out about the specifics of their relationship, something that upset and frustrated them both to no end. 

“I know, baby.” Christen frowns, resting her head on top of Tobins. “It’s not fair, but sadly there’s nothing we can do about it.” 

“My Dad would be so upset if he found out that they turned our interest in them down just because of our sexuality.” Tobin comments, remembering how angry her father would get every time Tobin experienced any form of homophobia during her College years. 

“I hope it changes one day and that everyone views it as normal, because that’s what it is. It’s normal and why should strangers be concerned about my relationship?” Christen sighs with frustration, “At least I have a love life, unlike their homophobic asses.” 

Tobin chuckles dryly at the response, “And we’re even offering them money, what else do they want? I doubt that was the last time it’s going to happen in this process. We might just have to get used to it, more so than usual.” 

“We shouldn’t have to though! It shouldn’t matter. Why are people so bothered about lesbian relationships?” Christen takes a deep breath, trying to stop herself from growing any more frustrated. “Isn’t it crazy how we wouldn’t have even been allowed to get married less than a decade ago? How does that work? How can loving someone be illegal? It blows my mind, because it’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard in my life. I simply just do not understand how someone can tell me who I can and can’t love. They don’t know how I feel and what I want!”

“My parents are religious and they’ve never once had a problem with my sexuality or us being together. They’ve never thought twice about it.” Tobin agrees, “I’d never tell a straight couple that they shouldn’t be allowed to get married, and that’s not because it’s defined as normal or whatever bullshit some people go on about, but because their relationship isn’t any of my business. They can love and marry whoever they want, it doesn’t impact my life so why should I be upset about it?”

“Exactly, so why can’t people just leave us alone and let us live our lives.” Christen shakes her head, “Coming out and being homophobic and all of that shouldn’t even be a thing. People should just be! They should be able to love whoever they love and be whoever they want to be, without receiving insults from others or being told that what they're doing is wrong and they'll end up in hell.” 

“You don’t look gay or you’re too pretty to be gay are good ones too.” Tobin scoffs, “Like define  _ looking gay _ . It’s not a style or trend!” She rolls her eyes, “I didn’t just wake up and decide to dress one way so now I’m apparently gay. I dress how I like and who I spend my time with is really no one’s concern apart from my own. The way I dress isn’t because I’m with you, it’s because I want to wear those clothes.” 

Christen sighs again, shutting the laptop on her knees and moving it onto the coffee table. She turns towards Tobin, moving her legs so they’re sideways across Tobin’s lap and leaning into her. 

“Life’s hard.” Christen complains as she tucks her head into Tobin’s neck, feeling a hand wrap around her back and another rest on her thighs. 

After processing all of her feelings in the previous conversation, she brings her hands up to Tobin’s cheeks, leaning in to kiss her. “I love you.” She smiles, “We’re going to figure this out and it’s going to be perfect. Whatever’s going to happen, is going to happen. If someone declines us as customers, then it’s okay and it wasn’t meant to be. At the end of the day we'll still have each other though, so it doesn’t matter.”

Tobin nods, letting Christen’s words sink in and taking some time to think about it from her perspective. She starts drawing patterns on Christen’s thigh when she feels a head rest down by her collarbone again. 

Her mind drifts back to the wedding planning.

Christen and Tobin had started writing a guestlist of who they want to include in the wedding. Obviously they would review it over the coming weeks and ensure that they haven’t missed anyone out, but it was a start. 

Right from the beginning, they both agreed on having a smaller or medium sized wedding. They were focusing on not having too many people there, keeping it at family and mainly close friends. Tobin and Christen had agreed on the fact that besides them being private about their relationship, they’d much rather spend more money on their honeymoon with having a cute and small wedding, than invite half of California to it and not even be able to afford a full tank of gas anymore - nevermind a flight for their honeymoon. 

They weren’t looking to have large numbers of people there, just wanting to celebrate their love with the people that are closest to them and know them the best. It’s those people that have been supporting them over the past months and stay in contact with them - from their close circle contacting each other on mostly a daily basis, to the more distant family that still send occasional text messages to check in and post annual Christmas cards. 

Aside from their closest friends from work, they also had Ali and Ashlyn, as well as three or four more other teachers that they’re both friendly with. Christen was planning to invite Kelley’s family too, having known them over the years and attending a number of weddings on their side too. Their list was a slow progress, but it was getting there and they were in no rush. 

\-------

Tobin’s next two weeks were busy. A lot busier than usual. 

Between teaching lessons, coaching the soccer team, fixtures with the soccer team as well as some friendlies with other local schools, doing some additional paperwork for Kristie, helping students fill out College applications, having three of her varsity girls aiming for a College soccer scholarship which she’s supporting them with through extra training and helping them contact coaches, she barely has a minute of free time. 

The whole time at work she’s got her head down, much like at home where she’ll be doing work until the moment she closes her eyes at night. 

Christen had been supportive this whole time, offering to help even when Tobin simply turned it down every time. 

Tonight was going to be different though. Tonight was going to be Tobin’s first night off in over two weeks, since she decided to give herself a little break. 

After learning about this a week ago, Christen asked Tobin on a date night right away - already having the perfect plan in mind. 

“I’ll be ready in ten minutes.” Christen calls out to Tobin in the kitchen, walking towards the stairs when she sees that Tobin is ready. It wasn’t a very fancy restaurant, just being a nice and low-key place they like to go to. It’s popularity made it difficult to get a table, but Christen eventually managed to reserve one for them. 

“Ready for what?” Tobin’s eyebrows scrunch up as she looks up from her phone. 

Christen looks at her questionly, “Umm...going out?” 

“I’m hanging out with Ash today, babe. Remember?” Tobin calmly reminds her, temporarily forgetting that she hadn’t told Christen about the plans she made the previous day yet. “Ehm, no I don’t remember.” 

“I definitely told you!” Tobin argues, not speaking aggressively. 

“No, you didn’t.” She furrows her eyebrows with confusion. 

“I did.” Tobin shrugs as she picks her stuff up and heads towards the door. She walks up to where Christen had stalled by the stairs, pecking her lips and heading out. “Love you.” She calls out behind her.

“Yeah, love you too.” Christen replies, trying to figure out what had just happened. She drops her head back against the wall, willing herself not to get upset. 

She’s been having such a hard time lately, for no particular reason, that not having any alone time with Tobin has been even tougher on her. They haven’t had a single evening to themselves in fifteen days and Christen just wants to spend some time together outside of going to bed and sleeping. 

Christen sighs, walking over to find her phone on the kitchen counter. She calls up the restaurant. “Hello, I’d like to cancel a reservation for tonight. It’s under the name Press.”

Once she’s able to sort that out, she walks to the small stack of her paperwork lying on the cupboard, lifting it up to find the hidden tickets underneath. 

“What am I supposed to do with these now?” She scoffs, looking at the entry tickets for a local art museum. They were holding an event tonight, which Tobin had been rambling on about for weeks. That part was supposed to be a surprise, but clearly didn’t work out in her favor. “Whatever.” She shrugs, tearing them up and chucking them in the trash. It wasn’t like they’d be able to use them and it was too late to sell them to someone now. 

She walks upstairs, getting changed into something cosy, wrapping into herself with a blanket on the balcony and reading a book. “Just another night alone, Christen. No different than the past two weeks.” 

When Tobin still hasn’t returned home after Christen made herself dinner and ate it, it’s getting late and she’s exhausted. Christen goes to bed, keeping half an eye open just to make sure Tobin comes home safely. Just because she’s upset, doesn’t mean that she doesn’t care or won’t worry about the person she loves. 

Tobin eventually walks in, seeing Christen in bed already. 

They never go to bed separately, making Tobin tilt her head with confusion. “What’s the matter with you?” She whispers when she sees that Christen isn’t asleep yet. “Am I not allowed to go to sleep?” Christen wonders with confusion, not being aware of having done anything wrong. 

“We never go to sleep alone.” Tobin points out, making Christen’s next sentence colder than she intended for it to be. “Well, you weren’t home and I was tired so I’m sleeping.” 

“Alright, what’s going on?” Tobin asks seriously when she hears Christen’s tone. 

“Why would anything be going on?” Christen drags the conversation out, being tired and fed up more than anything else. 

“Because of that attitude you’re giving me.” Tobin scoffs, being able to recognize an upset Christen as easily as her left arm. 

“I’m not giving you an attitude.” Christen defends, “I’m just upset.” 

“Why are you upset?” Tobin genuinely wonders, unsure as to what caused this. 

“Really Tobin?” Christen snaps, “You’re really asking me why I’m upset right now?” 

“Yes, I wouldn’t be asking if I knew the reason.” Tobin tells her as if it should be obvious, turning on the lamp on her nightstand. 

“Hm, let me think.” Christen sits up, “Maybe it’s because we haven’t spent a single night together, just the two of us, for two weeks.” 

“We have!” Tobin defends before thinking about her answer. 

“No we haven’t, Tobin. You were working the whole time and not actually talking to me, so I don’t class that as spending time together. I’m not trying to say that your work isn’t important or anything like that, but maybe we could just work on making sure we can still make time for each other when one of us is busier?”

“We were still together.”

“I could have gotten a quicker reply from our living room wall.” Christen rolls her eyes, “Not to mention the fact that the first time you finally have a free night, one where I asked you out on a date for last week - which you agreed to - you don’t even want to spend time with me and just leave instead.” 

Christen takes a breath before continuing, “Apart from the fact that these past two weeks have been really hard for me too, I needed you tonight. I just needed a few hours away from all the stress, to just forget about it and be with you.” She tries to calm herself, “Aside from that and you bailing out of the date, which I then had to cancel reservations for, I also wasted my money surprising you with tickets for that special museum night you’ve been talking about nonstop, which now ended up in the trash since you conveniently forgot about our date. And you know what, I couldn’t care less about the money. All I wanted was for both of us to have a good night and to spend some time with you, and that’s something money can’t buy.” 

“I didn’t mean to forget.” Tobin says just above a whisper, clearly remembering their plans now that Christen had mentioned them. 

“I know you didn’t.” Christen tells her honestly, “But it would be nice if on your first actual evening off, you would have thought of spending time with the person you’re in a relationship with before running off and just leaving the house. You didn’t even apologize. I know that it’s just a date or whatever, but it still hurts when the person you love just goes instead of even listening to what you had to say.” 

“I’m sorry, Chris.” Tobin breathes out, continuing to get changed into her sleep clothes. “I’ve been so stressed and all over the place, that I completely forgot about it and I don’t know…”

“I know you have. I know that, Tobin.” Christen continues to assure her of it, “But I only know that because I’ve been sitting there and paying attention to you. You wouldn’t even be able to tell me what color shirt I was wearing yesterday.”

“Really?” Tobin scoffs, “I don’t pay that little attention, you know.”

“I’m not saying you do.” Christen tries to calm her, “I’m just saying you have been lately.” 

“See, that’s exactly what you were saying.” Tobin scoffs again, leaving the room and shutting the door behind her.

Christen drops her head back against the pillow and pushes her tears down. She hates fighting with Tobin, more than anything else. It shatters her into a million pieces every time and it feels like the worst feeling in the world.

Tobin lies down on the sofa with one of their blankets, sighing and going over the past few weeks in her head. The only reason she’s downstairs is because she needs some space to think before saying something that she doesn’t mean or will regret later. She loves Christen with all of her heart and would never want to hurt the woman, whether it’s on purpose or an accident. 

When she pauses to think about it, she agrees with Christen’s point. She also remembers Christen asking her on the date and instantly feeling all excited about it at the time. It’s making her feel terrible, realizing she’s let the person she loves down, when all Christen was trying to do was make her feel happy. 

They’ve never had an argument right before going to sleep, so Tobin doesn’t know what the rules are. Does she sleep downstairs and try to fix everything in the morning? Does she sneak in and just go to sleep in bed? They’ve never had an issue unresolved before going upstairs and getting ready for bed before. 

Her own questions are answered when Christen comes down the stairs a short while later, Tobin guessing that it’s been about half-an-hour since she left the younger woman upstairs in their bedroom. Christen walks around the sofa, Tobin making some room for her as Christen puts another small cushion next to Tobin’s, pulling the blanket back a little and moving onto the sofa too. 

She lies down on her side - with one hand under the cushion - and facing Tobin, in an attempt to both fit on there without having to lie on top of each other. 

They lock eyes for a long moment, saying nothing until Christen speaks up in a whisper. “I’m sorry.” 

Tobin shakes her head, “I should be the one apologizing, you were right! I’ve been a terrible fiancée lately.” 

“No, baby, you haven’t. I don’t want you to think that.” Christen rushes out, moving her other hand to reach for Tobin’s. “You’ve been busy, I know that! It’s just- do you know how long it’s been since I told you how my day was or got to ask you about yours?” She continues in a calm voice, “As someone who loves you more than anything in this world and wants to be around you every second of the day, it hurts not to get to spend any quality time with you.”   
  
Christen gives her a sad smile, “Even when I was just asking you what you’re working on, I would have more than happily sat there right next to you and watched you get on with it or explain to me what you were thinking. When I offered to help you, it wasn’t because I didn’t think you were capable of doing it, but more because we’re a team. You and me are a  _ we  _ now and I genuinely just wanted to help you feel less stressed or do something together.” 

“I get that we’re both going to have work keep us from having nights out or other things sometimes,” Christen clarifies, “But it shouldn’t keep us from spending time with each other, even if on our busiest days it just ends up just being over dinner or talking in bed. I don't want you to work until the point where you make yourself ill either. You have to take some breaks, baby, or you’ll wear yourself out and become unwell. I just love you and worry about you.” 

“I love you too.” Tobin sighs, “I didn’t even think as far as you just wanting to take an interest or helping out, and I’m sorry for that. I know we’ve done that with smaller things in the past, but with everything going on it didn’t even occur to me.” 

“It’s okay, I know you didn’t.” Christen nods, truly wanting Tobin to know that she isn’t bringing this up to point fingers and fight, but rather wanting to resolve the issue. “I’m not saying that this is all about me in any way, because it’s just as much about you and something where I think that we could both do better with. I’ve probably had days like that too and just didn’t notice.” 

“I shouldn’t have gone out with Ash today either. That was on me because even if I forgot about the date, I still knew that we hadn’t spent any real time together in way too long.” Tobin admits guiltily, it being one of the first things she thought about after their argument. 

“You know that I’d never hold you back from spending time with friends. I’d be the first person to say yes and tell you to go and have a good time.” She tries to explain, “I was just sad since I was looking forward to surprising you tonight. I was obviously disappointed that we didn’t go, but I probably overreacted too. I wouldn’t have gotten as upset as I did, if it hadn’t been for us having set plans.”

“You have no idea how sorry I am.” Tobin gives her a sad smile, making Christen squeeze her hand. “You don’t have to keep apologizing, baby.” 

“But I am-” Tobin insists, “About the concert, dinner, you...everything.” 

“It’s okay.” Christen shakes her head, “It truly is okay.” 

Tobin takes a deep breath, “I’ll try to be more conscious of it in the future, but please promise me that if it happens again and I don’t notice, you’ll tell me right away so I’m aware of it.” 

“Okay.” Christen nods, “Will you promise me that you’ll do the same in return?”   
  


Tobin nods too. They lie there for another minute, just processing everything in their own minds. Christen leans forward, softly kissing Tobin. “I hate fighting with you.” She frowns as she pulls back, just being appreciative of the fact that they’re both mature in any fights and situations, meaning they’ll do anything to fix it and not hurt each other even more. 

“Me too.” Tobin agrees, showing her that she means it. They stay there for a long moment, just kissing each other and getting lost in the feeling.

Christen eventually stands up, putting the cushion back and reaching her hand out. 

“Come to bed, baby.” She requests, “We’ve never had someone sleep on the sofa during or after an argument before, so we’re not starting now.” 

  
Tobin takes her hand, heading upstairs together and falling into their warm bed. Christen lies facing Tobin, giving her a soft smile as she tucks a strand of Tobin’s hair behind her ear. “Good night, Tobs. I love you.”

“I love you too, babe.” Tobin replies as she pulls Christen in. 

\-------

The next day is already completely different for both of them. After getting home from work, Tobin sits down to have dinner with Christen and leaves her computer in a different room throughout the duration of it. 

During conversation, Tobin admits to Christen that she’s feeling stressed today and doesn’t know where to start. 

Christen gets up, grabbing Tobin’s planner out of her handbag, since Tobin rarely bothers to take her own bag to work. “Let’s make a list of three things you have to do today and then start there.” She suggests, sitting down on the other side to her original seat, now sitting next to Tobin. 

Tobin does so. Christen helps her by suggesting which ones might have to be completed sooner than others and which could wait a few more days or weeks. 

“Would you help me with these please?” Tobin asks, biting her lip and waiting for a response. She’s sitting on the sofa now, having moved when Christen volunteered to clear away their dishes. Christen hasn’t had much to do lately, so she was more than willing to help Tobin. 

“Yeah, of course.” Christen nods, closing the dishwasher and walking over to Tobin. She shuffles close until her knees are tucked up, resting against Tobin’s thigh, and she’s sitting slightly sideways with one arm wrapped around Tobin’s shoulder. She leans into her happily, just glad to be close to the older woman. 

Tobin pulls up a draft email she’s written for one of her three students, wanting to help them in contacting College coaches as she knows that they’re all more than capable of making a division one team. 

They read through the first one together, since finishing those three are at the top of her list. Christen suggests any changes that could be made, them discussing it together and settling on the best versions. 

Once they’re done with the last one that Tobin wanted to edit, she sends a copy of all three to Christen so she could proof read them whilst Tobin starts her next task. 

Tobin gets finished surprisingly quick, noticing how much easier and less stressful it was this way. She shuts her laptop, Christen sending something she just proof read back to Tobin before doing the same. 

“Done?” Christen asks, turning to her as she puts her own laptop away too. 

“Done!” Tobin nods, high fiving Christen. She gets up, grabbing a blanket and draping it over their bodies at the same time as moving close to Christen again. 

“Tell me about your day?” Tobin requests, feeling Christen smile widely as she moves to rest her head down on Tobin’s chest. 

This won’t be the last time something like this is going to happen, but she has a good feeling that it won’t last two weeks again or lead to another argument in the future. They’re both constantly learning in their relationship and about each other, so this is like a speed bump on a road. It’s simply trying to remind them to slow down and enjoy the little things, whilst not taking life too seriously. 

They’re never going to be perfect, but learning how to work through it and communicate in all situations is important for both of them. Sure, Tobin made some mistakes, but Christen is also pushing part of the responsibility on herself for not speaking up about it sooner or approaching it in a more patient way. 

\-------

Tobin wakes up to Christen already being awake. She’s got her pillows propped up a little higher, resting against them as she reads a book. 

Her fingers are soothingly stroking through Tobin’s hair, from where her head is lying next to Christen’s body. Tobin could almost drift back to sleep from how good it feels. 

She reaches her hand over to rest on Christen’s stomach, not yet having enough energy to speak or move her whole body. 

Christen turns her head, smiling as she looks down at a sleepy Tobin. She puts her book on the nightstand, moving down the bed a little further until she’s at the same height as Tobin. 

“Good morning, baby.” Christen pulls Tobin in until her head is resting against Christen’s chest. Tobin leaves a kiss there, letting her lips linger for a moment. 

“How long have you been awake?” Tobin asks her, a sudden light bulb going off in her head as to what day it is. “Not long.”

“It’s a pretty good day today, babe.” Tobin announces. 

Christen moves slightly so Tobin’s back is on the mattress, with the younger woman hovering above her. “It sure is.” Christen smiles, pecking Tobin’s lips. She brushes her hair out of her face, just taking in her features for a long moment. “Two whole years with the love of my life by my side. What more could I ask for?” 

“Coffee?” Tobin jokes, making Christen laugh too. “I love coffee, but nothing is as good as calling you mine.” 

“I am pretty amazing.” She chuckles, trying to keep a serious facial expression but failing to. 

“I love you, dork.” Christen scrunches her nose up, before leaning down for another kiss. 

“I’m  _ your  _ dork.” Tobin shrugs. 

Christen’s smile is a beaming one when she looks down at Tobin again, “ _ That  _ you are!!” 

“Besides, there’s nothing better than loving you.” Tobin argues, pulling her down so she’s lying down on top of her. Christen sighs contently, just wanting to stay there and not move an inch for the next few hours. 

“Can you make your pancakes for breakfast?” Christen requests, lifting her head up. “Pleaseeeee?” 

Tobin winks, “If you’re making the coffee, then sure.” 

“Yes!” Christen lets out with excitement, suddenly feeling more awake. She gets up from the bed and throws her hair up in a messy bun. Stretching her body and letting out a yawn, she walks over to the drawer and gets out some underwear and one of Tobin’s slightly oversized shirts.

“I was enjoying the view.” Tobin pouts, her eyes having followed Christen the whole way. She gets up too, walking over to her at the foot of the bed. “You were more than welcome to stay like that.” 

Christen gives her a smug look, “I quite enjoy my view too.” 

Tobin rolls her eyes at Christen’s look, pulling out a shirt and boxer briefs for herself. They head down the stairs, Tobin preparing to make pancakes so Christen could make them both a cup of coffee. 

She places their coffees next to the stove, coming to wrap her arms around Tobin’s waist from behind. Christen nuzzles her face into Tobin’s shoulder, more than happy to just stand this close to the woman. 

Tobin smiles to herself, flipping another pancake. Once they’re ready, she stacks them up on a plate and takes them upstairs onto the balcony. 

They lie outside for another hour afterwards, just enjoying the sunshine and each other’s company. 

For lunch, they make some light sandwiches, taking them to eat at the beach just like they’d planned. They’d thought about doing something different for their anniversary, but at the end of the day all that mattered to both of them was spending the day together. Since it was coming to the end of more than a stressful month, they wanted a full day away from any work thoughts and just relaxing together instead. 

They’re half way through their food when Christen looks up at the sky after feeling a raindrop on her. 

“Really?” Christen rolls her eyes, “Out of all of the days it could have been raining in California, it’s today?” 

Tobin chuckles, “By the look of those clouds over there it’s about to get a lot worse.”

“Nope, it’s not. It’s going to stay sunny.” Christen tries to predict, digging back into her food. 

It’s not even two minutes when the rain starts pouring down on her. She stands up with a huff, “If that’s how it’s going to be, then fine.” 

Tobin just laughs at her, packing up their stuff and taking her hand to walk home. When they get in, Tobin sees the slight frown on Christen’s face and knows the perfect way to turn it upside down. 

“Come with me!” She tells her, sticking her hand out. 

“What are you doing?” Christen wonders when Tobin opens the patio door. “Tobs, it’s pouring down outside.” 

“Stop being such a Cali girl.” Tobin jokes, “Come on.” 

Christen raises an eyebrow at her but lets herself be dragged along. Tobin pulls them down the steps and onto the grass of their backyard, the rain falling harder with every minute.

“Dance with me.” Tobin challenges her, making Christen spin into her arms. 

She achieves just what she wanted to, Christen laughing and smiling brightly, just dancing with her girl in the pouring rain. Tobin’s never been more thankful for the warm temperatures, knowing they would be freezing by now if it was any colder. 

In the moment, time seems to stand still. They’re just letting go and messing around together, feeling free and having fun. It’s something they always find themselves doing around each other, constantly having a good time together. 

When Christen decides that she’s now a professional dancer, she ends up slipping on the mud and dragging Tobin down with her. They both land on their backs next to each other, bursting out laughing. 

Christen turns her head towards Tobin. She rolls onto her side, Tobin reaching out to wipe some of the mud from Christen’s forehead. 

“I love you.” Christen breathes out, looking into her favorite pair of eyes. 

“I love you too.” Tobin holds onto her neck and pulls her into a short kiss. She sits up first, standing up and then reaching for Christen’s hand. 

Before Christen is able to walk back towards the house, Tobin pulls her in for another kiss. They pull away again when their smiles get too big, the kiss turning into teeth more than anything. 

They look down at each other, laughing when they notice how full of mud their clothes and bodies now are. 

“I think we should probably take a shower.” Tobin suggests, “And maybe put our clothes in the washing.” 

“That sounds like a decent idea.” Christen laughs, walking onto the patio so she’s sheltered by the balcony above them. They take their shoes and socks off, leaving them outside and stepping into the house. 

“Babe, we’re gonna have to walk on our toes unless we want to get the house muddy and spend the rest of the night cleaning.” Tobin mentions as she looks at both of them, their hair dripping wet and already starting to get onto the floor. 

Christen walks over to the beach bag they dumped by the front door earlier. She chucks one at Tobin, “We can just take our clothes off on here and then throw the towels in the washing later too.” 

They get into the shower, washing the mud out of their hair and off their bodies. 

“Can we take a bath?” Christen requests with a cute smile, wrapping her arms around Tobin’s neck. She kisses her cheek, trying to convince her even if she knows that Tobin probably didn’t need any convincing in the first place. 

“Do you want to run a bath and I’ll get us both a glass of wine?” Tobin asks, turning the shower off and wrapping a towel around her as she steps out of it. 

“It’s one in the afternoon, baby.” She laughs, not being overly bothered. 

“So?” Tobin chuckles, “It’s our anniversary and five o’clock somewhere, so who cares?” 

Christen shrugs, pecking Tobin’s lips and turning towards the bathtub. 

Their bathroom is by far the nicest and biggest one in the house, having a separate shower and bathtub, whereas the other one has a bathtub with a showerhead and the downstairs one just has a toilet and sink. They have another one in the basement too, which hasn’t been used since the previous owner, as they never go down there and only use it as a storage space. 

Maybe they’ll turn the basement into something else one day, but for now it’s untouched and filled with random items that they don’t have any space for or christmas decoration. They love how spacious their house feels, since all of the downstairs area is an open space, with only one door leading to the bathroom, one to the basement and one to the garage. For that reason, they don’t want to overfill the space and make it seem crammed, just liking how organized it looks. 

Tobin pours them both a small glass of red wine, walking back up the stairs and spotting Christen waiting for her.

“Can I hold you?” She requests, preferring to let Christen rest against her. Christen nods, grabbing the two glasses out of her hand and letting Tobin climb in first. 

She passes her glass to Tobin, tying her freshly-washed curls into a bun and moving into the bathtub after. She gets herself comfortable, leaning back into Tobin as she feels Tobin’s arms wrap around her shoulders. Soft lips leave a number of delicate kisses on her cheek. 

“You know, this was great practice for our first dance.” Tobin suddenly comments with a hint of thoughtfulness behind it.

Christen starts laughing, “Sure, baby. Whatever you say.” 

“Chris, what if I stand on your toes or something silly like that when we have our first dance.” Tobin’s eyes suddenly go wide, “Oh my gosh, that would be so embarrassing.” 

“You won’t.” Christen chuckles, “It’s me you have to worry about. I’ll probably stumble over air.” 

“Yeah, you totally would.” Tobin laughs at the imagine in her head. She feels a light slap on her arm. “Not helping, Tobin. That’s really not helping!” 

“Sorry.” Tobin apologizes, continuing to laugh. “I love you, you’re amazing, you’re going to be great and perfect.” 

“I’m not sure how much sarcasm was behind that, but I’ll still take it.” Christen drops her head onto Tobin’s chest. “I mean, no matter how much I embarrass myself, I still get to marry the best girl in the world, so I’m the real winner anyway.” 

Tobin squeezes Christen a little harder for a split second. “Yeah, I think we’re gonna need some practice before our wedding.”

“That’s probably a good idea.” Christen agrees, “Are we going with the traditional food, then speeches, cutting cake, first dance, father-daughter dance and then just the rest of the night?” 

“We’re not having a father-daughter dance.” Tobin mentions it so casually that Christen can tell she thought about this before. She moves in Tobin’s arms, turning around to face her more. “Uhm, yes we are.” 

“Babe, we don’t have to.” Tobin explains in a softer voice,”I understand if it’s hard for you and you’d rather not have us have one.”

“No chance!” Christen sternly shakes her head. 

“This is your wedding day,” Tobin continues to argue her point, “I want it to be a good day for you.”

“Nope, it’s  _ our  _ wedding day and it’s going to be the best day of my life.” Christen tells her, “I want you to have an amazing time. This day is only going to happen once in our lives.” 

Tobin gives her a sceptical look. 

“Baby, I’m not taking this away from you and your dad.” Christen explains, “He loves you so much and as he likes to say, you’re his little girl, so I know for a fact how disappointed he’d be if he doesn’t get the chance to dance with his daughter on her wedding day.” 

Tobin groans at the nickname, his dad having always called her that since she’s the youngest out of her sisters. 

“I won’t be upset and I won’t be sad, I promise.” She tries to convince Tobin, genuinely not having any bad emotions towards this and having expected them to have a father-daughter dance from the start. 

Tobin sighs, nodding slowly. “Okay, as long as you’ll tell me if at any point you want us to take it out of our plan.” 

“That won’t happen, but if it does then I will.” 

“Oh, okay, miss Stubborn.” Tobin laughs, holding Christen close and peppering her cheek in kisses. 

Christen looks at her with a glow in her eyes, “Wanna finish this glass of wine and then do some wedding planning...since the rain ruined our original plans?” 

\------- 

Christen puts the car in park, sighing as she sits back and mentally preparing herself. 

They have a full day teacher training day today, the students all having the day off and not starting the school week until tomorrow - Tuesday. 

It’s one just like the previous ones Christen has attended, a west coast one, which includes a number of teachers from most of the western states. They’re having one at their own school this time, the still new and advanced facilities making it the perfect opportunity for a training day location. 

Christen turns to Tobin, “You ready?” 

“Yep. You?” Tobin asks, knowing that Christen will be the one of the people that’s in charge of running the whole thing, something she was originally nervous about. 

Christen nods after a deep breath, turning the engine off. “Alright, let’s do this, baby.” 

Tobin jumps out of the car, grabbing her bag as Christen throws her handbag over her shoulder, closing the trunk and locking the car. 

The day gets started relatively quickly, Christen falling into her role in the blink of an eye. It makes Tobin laugh to not only see how well some of the teachers already know each other, but also how many of them know Christen without ever having been introduced before, especially the southern California ones.

It feels strange to her, knowing how much respect those people have towards the person she gets to go home with every night. There’s a proud feeling inside of her too though, which isn’t difficult considering anything Christen does makes her so unbelievably proud. 

She doesn’t miss her opportunity to mention this to Christen when she sees her by herself for a moment, walking over and getting close enough to whisper in her ear. “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a celeb.” 

“You’re dating one too.” Christen winks, turning to look at Tobin. 

“Well, I’m honored.” Tobin jokes, moving a little further away. She hears Alex call her name from behind in that moment, “I better go. See you later,  _ celeb Press _ .” 

Christen swats her arm with a laugh, “Don’t say that any louder. Someone might hear that and actually believe that I think that way.” 

“We’ll see, I have plenty of other nicknames that might work out.” Tobin teases as she starts walking away. Christen just rolls her eyes, making Tobin laugh.

\-------

Tobin is standing off to the side, lost in her own mind, when someone interrupts her thoughts. 

“Tobin?” She hears a voice from behind her cautiously question, flicking through the memory in her brain in an attempt to find out why it sounds familiar. She turns around, being met with ocean blue eyes that she used to know so well.

“Lucie, hey!” Tobin replies a little surprised, not wanting to be rude by not greeting her. 

It was unexpected seeing Lucie here, not really thinking she’d ever see her again, but she didn’t mind. 

When Tobin and Lucie first met, Lucie was in her senior year of College. She’d taken a gap year to travel Europe after graduating high school and then went on to study in Portland. Whilst Tobin had already been out of College for two years by then and teaching full-time, Lucie went on to become a general teaching assistant at first after she finished her degree. That’s what she was still doing the last time Tobin saw her. 

Now, over three years later, it seems that she did go on to teach full-time too. 

“Well, I’m a teacher now.” Lucie announces with a shrug, deciding this was a good way to introduce some conversation between the two. She notices right away that Tobin looks different - more relaxed, refreshed and happier. It’s like there’s a whole different person in front of her. “I got my first full teaching job a couple of months after we last spoke.” 

Tobin opens her arms, inviting her in for a hug. “That’s amazing! Congratulations.” 

“Thank you!” Lucie grins happily, before moving on. “So I didn’t know you’d be here?” She states seriously, “I didn’t see your school on the list.” 

“Oh, I actually work here now - at Mira Costa.” Tobin explains, “I moved out here about two and a half years ago.” 

“You moved to California?” Lucie questions with surprise, not having expected this sort of response. 

“Yeah!” Tobin laughs, “It was quite spontaneous, but it’s definitely been the best decision I’ve ever made.” 

“That’s really great.” Lucie offers politely, “Are you enjoying it here in LA?”

“I love it and the life I have here now.” Tobin nods sincerely, “I came out here not knowing a soul, and not even knowing if I’d get the job, but somehow it all worked out in the end.”

“Sometimes change is good.” Lucie shrugs, broaching her next question when there’s a moment of silence. “Maybe we could go out for drinks tonight and you can tell me all about it? Just to catch up?”

“I don’t think that’s the best idea, Luce.” Tobin admits honestly, “I know we were friends before anything else, but we’re at completely different stages in our lives now and probably have nothing in common anymore. I’d rather remember the memories we made as friends than ruin all of that by trying to be friends again now.” 

It was the truth. She knew that them trying to restore a friendship now would fail completely. Not just because they’ve spent multiple nights together, which don’t even begin to compare to anything she has now, but also because they haven’t had a just friends dynamic  _ ever.  _

It’s so different with Christen. Apart from it being a serious and committed relationship, her nights with Christen feel so different than the ones with Lucie. 

With Christen it’s like a declaration of love every time they touch each other - always making love instead of just getting the other off. With Christen she never dreads it, treasuring and valuing every moment she gets to look at Christen in ways that no one else can. With Christen it doesn’t matter how slow or fast it can be, because it’s always meaningful, whereas with Lucie it could even get boring sometimes. 

“Okay, that’s fair.” Lucie easily agrees, seeing Tobin’s point of view to the situation. “Tell me what you’ve been up to anyway?” She places as a request, “We have five minutes, right?” 

“Yeah, we do.” Tobin chuckles, thinking on where to get started, “I want to hear about you too, though.” 

“Honestly, not much has changed in my life.” She tells her honestly, deciding she may as well go first. “So I got the teaching job about ten minutes out from where you used to live, and I don’t live far from your old apartment complex now. I’ve had a couple of relationships but neither of them worked out for longer than a few months, and that’s about it. Still the same old friends and weekly stuff.” 

“Have you been happy though? Are you happy now?” Tobin wonders, wanting to make sure that Lucie is doing well. 

“Yeah,” Lucie nods, “I’ve been working on it.”

“Good!” Tobin nods too with a smile. 

Before Tobin gets a chance to get started on everything that’s changed for her, they have to head back outside. They walk side by side, Lucie leaning over to her and whispering to make quiet conversation.

“She’s so intimidating!” Lucie comments as she sees Christen across the room, “She really knows her stuff and some of these teachers already knew who she was before even being introduced. That’s crazy in a teaching world.”

Tobin laughs at her genuineness, “She’s anything but intimidating or scary, I promise!”

“She doesn’t look scary as in terrifying.” Lucie clarifies, “She’s just scary because she’s so respected.”

She wonders if her beaming smile is about to give her away, feeling so proud of Christen.

Tobin debates on mentioning something, because this is a work environment and she wants to stay professional. Before her mind can make that decision, Alex does it for her by calling her name and waving her over. Tobin says goodbye to Lucie, telling her that she might catch her one more time before she leaves but it was nice to see her again. 

They get a short break at lunch, just relaxing as Christen and Tobin vacate into the office for a short moment - hoping for some quietness and peace. 

“I’m exhausted!” Christen announces as soon as the door slams shut, resting against her desk. 

Tobin walks up to her, embracing her in a hug. Christen just drops her heavy head onto Tobin’s chest, wrapping her arms around Tobin’s waist in return. 

“You’re doing great.” Tobin tells her, tilting her head down to leave a kiss in Christen’s hair. 

Christen closes her eyes, mumbling into the fabric of Tobin’s shirt. “I couldn’t do it without you.” 

“You totally could.” She deadpans, not believing it for even a second. 

“That doesn’t mean I’d want to do it without you.” Christen shrugs, shutting Tobin down. 

“I love you.” Tobin squeezes her shoulders a little tighter. 

“I love you more!” Christen replies, knowing Tobin’s about to defend that statement. “Don’t back answer that, just let me have my glory for a moment.” 

Tobin laughs, “Whatever, babe.” 

Christen lets out a deep sigh, “I should get going again.”

She lifts up her head, kissing Tobin and making her way towards the door to find Kristie again. 

The remainder of the day goes just as smoothly as every other part of it did - it being exhausting, tiring and so much more, but worth it. 

Tobin is clearing the last of the stuff left in the hall, making her way back to the office when she hears a voice behind her. 

“Hey, so I’m heading back to the hotel now. I just came to say it was good to see you again and I’m glad you’re doing well.” Lucie kindly greets her. 

“Thank you.” Tobin smiles politely, “I’m happy you’re doing well too.” 

Christen opens the office door and walks out in that moment, rummaging through her hand bag. “Tobs, have you got the car keys?” 

She cringes when she looks up and sees that Tobin was speaking to someone, not wanting to come across as rude. “Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt.” 

“You weren’t.” Lucie brushes it off right away, much to Christen’s relief. “You don’t have to apologize.” 

Tobin squints her eyes at Lucie, not being able to hold in her laughter. “I’m sorry, but I’ve never seen you this intimidated before and it’s so funny.” 

Christen takes the short steps towards them, standing next to Tobin and finally leaving her bag alone. Tobin pulls the car keys out of the front pocket of her hoodie, passing them to Christen. 

“Chris, this is Lucie.” Tobin introduces them, deciding it wasn’t the right time or environment to explain their past further. “Lucie, this is Christen - my fiancée.” 

“You guys are together?” Lucie asks with surprise, “...And engaged?” 

“Yeah!” Tobin smiles, “We just got engaged in June.”    
  


“Congrats, that’s huge!” Lucie gives them both a genuine smile, not bothered about it whatsoever and just being happy for Tobin. 

“Thanks.” Christen smiles proudly, “So what’s intimidating?” 

“You apparently.” Tobin shrugs.

“Me?” Christen reacts with surprise, not ever thinking someone would see her as an intimidating person. 

“Tobin, you’re making it sound as if I said she’s a bad person or something like that.” Lucie quickly cuts in, turning to Christen after. “You just know what you’re doing and make me feel clueless. Plus you’re a younger teacher and not one of the ones that have been teaching for years on end.” 

Christen laughs kindly, “I’m clueless and mess up all the time, I promise. And I’m probably one of the least scary and intimidating people in all of California.” 

“Hmm, I don’t know, babe. You’re pretty terrifying.” Tobin jokes, speaking as if she’s genuinely thinking about it. 

“Totally.” She rolls her eyes with a small smile. 

“I should get going.” Lucie announces when she checks the time, “Congrats again.” She moves to give Tobin a hug, “Good luck in the future!” 

Lucie steps back, shaking Christen's hand, “It was nice meeting you.” 

“She seems nice!” Christen casually tells Tobin once Lucie is out of their earshot. 

“That’s  _ the _ Lucie.” Tobin mentions when she realizes Christen hadn’t caught onto that. “As in Portland Lucie.”

“Really?” Christen asks, suddenly clicking as to why Tobin and the woman seemed so familiar. She’d just assumed that they’d gotten to know each other throughout the day or met once or twice in the past. Sure she was a little surprised when the woman went in to hug Tobin at the end, but she thought nothing of it and wasn’t bothered by it. It’s only a hug after all, and the hugs she gets from Tobin are  _ a lot  _ different than the ones anyone else does. 

Usually hers would either be them holding each other tightly, hiding their faces in the other’s hair or skin, for such a long moment that she’d forget about everything around her; or it would be accompanied with soft kisses and a feeling of comfort and safety. Christen will always be convinced that the only reason Tobin hugs her as much as she does is because she gets the opportunity to touch Christen’s butt, but Tobin denies it every time. 

“Yeah.” Tobin laughs, “I didn’t know she became a full teacher, nevermind the fact that she was going to be here. She just came up to me earlier.” 

Christen looks back at Lucie who’s just about to round a corner, chuckling as she speaks and starts to walk over to where she’d left their bags. “You could have done worse, I guess.”

“And  _ now  _ I couldn’t possibly do any better!” Tobin comes up behind her, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and kissing her cheek. 

Christen pecks her lips, threading her fingers through Tobin’s as they start walking towards the exit by the car park. “Did you guys get a chance to catch up?” 

“We spoke a little earlier, but not that much.” Tobin shrugs, “She asked me out for drinks tonight, but I want to keep my past in the past, even if she just wanted to go out as friends.” She admits with honesty, “Besides, who’d pick going to a bar over spending time with their girl?” 

Christen grins happily, “Can we walk downtown and get some ice cream tonight?” 

“Anything for you.” Tobin laughs, which is how they find themselves sitting in the sand with a cone of ice cream in hand an hour later. 

“Does it bother you that Lucie was there today?” Christen asks suddenly as she finishes her ice cream, turning to Tobin and wanting an answer to a question she’s been thinking about for the last few minutes. 

“No, not really.” Tobin shakes her head thoughtfully, “She’s living her life and I’m living mine, you know. Would I prefer not to have her there? Maybe, but it doesn’t affect me. It was only for seven or eight hours and not like I spent the whole time attached to her by the hip. I only saw her twice.” She simply shrugs it off, returning the question. “Does it bother you?”

“No.” Christen shakes her head right away, resting it down on Tobin’s shoulder afterwards. “I mean I’d much prefer if you wouldn’t have been someone else’s before being mine, for selfish reasons, but I trust you one-hundred-and-ten percent, so I’m not bothered if you have a conversation with her or anything like that.”   
  


“She was your best friend at one point and you guys spent a lot of time together.” Christen continues, “I know that I have nothing to worry about, because of how much we trust each other.”

“I don’t think I would have been the biggest fan of you and her going out for drinks tonight, just because even if you never had any feelings towards each other, there’s still a past and there was obviously something between you guys otherwise what happened wouldn’t have happened.” She admits, wanting to be completely honest with Tobin. “But I wouldn’t have tried to stop you if you would have wanted to go since I know you’d always tell me the truth. I know that you wouldn’t have initiated anything too and would have turned her down if she’d tried to, but I’m still glad that you didn’t.”

“I wouldn’t have gone!” Tobin shakes her head, “Not if there was ever something more than friends there. It wouldn’t be fair to you and I know that you would do the same.”

“It’s not because I worry about what would happen if you did.” Tobin continues to back Christen’s opinion, “It’s just something no one in a relationship is a big fan of, are they? I think there’s a line between being an ex and being friends with an ex. It might work out that way for some people, but I know that I wouldn’t want that for me.”

“You know, it’s really healthy for both of us to know that we have nothing to worry about.” Tobin finishes on a last thought, “It prevents any toxic behavior, like tracking locations, reading texts or snooping through phones and all of that stuff.” 

“I know, I’m so glad that we do.” Christen nods, completely agreeing with Tobin. “I’d never snoop through your phone, no matter what. We go on each other’s phones all of the time, but I think that proves that trust even more because it shows that you don’t care if I’m on yours and I don’t care if you’re on mine. I have nothing to hide from you, since I tell you everything.” 

“Yeah, me too.” Tobin easily agrees, “If you’re going to snoop through your partner’s phone then what’s the point of even being together. I’m not going to be with someone that has no trust in me or who I have no trust in.” She chuckles lightly, “If I’d want to hide something from you, then I would have changed my password five times over, trust me.” 

“Well, don’t think that I didn’t notice you adding your fingerprint onto mine.” Christen smirks, “You’re not  _ that  _ sneaky.” 

“You realized?” Tobin laughs, seeming genuinely surprised. 

“Baby, it’s been like that for what...at least six months now?” Christen laughs too. 

“I have a Tobin Heath cut-out face to get into your phone.” Christen jokes, “It’s for my weekly investigation on how many girls you have on the go.” 

“Oh yeah?” Tobin raises an eyebrow, “How many did you find? I’ve gotta check that your numbers are accurate!”

“Too many to count at the minute, and that was just on normal messages! Don’t think I didn’t notice how many people you’ve been swiping right for on Tinder.” 

“And all this time I’ve been trying to cover up my tracks.” 

“Maybe someone should teach you how to do a better job at it...” Christen suggests.

She lifts her head from Tobin’s shoulder, locking eyes and both bursting out laughing. Tobin wraps her arms around Christen’s shoulders, pulling her sideways into a hug. 

She leans forwards to kiss Christen’s temple, “I love you, babe.”

Christen turns her head when Tobin lets her go again, “I love you too.” 

\-------

Christen, Alex and Tobin are standing outside together, teaching a class with Christen just being there to gossip, when Kristie walks past them with Lucie and another male teacher. They pass the trio on the field, Kristie telling them both to go inside since Julie will meet them there. 

“Morning!” Lucie greets as she walks past them both.

“Morning, Lucie.” Tobin replies with a friendly smile as Christen does the same. “Hey!” 

The moment Lucie turns the corner, Tobin looks back at Christen with wide eyes, making the younger woman laugh and pat her back. 

“What’s she still doing here?” Tobin whisper-yells at Christen, before looking over at Kristie on the other side of Christen. “What’s she still doing here?” She repeats. 

“Their flight to Portland got cancelled last night and they weren’t able to get another one booked until this afternoon, so I thought I’d ask them if they wanted to come in again today.” Kristie explains, “There’s five of them in total and Julie isn’t teaching this period, so she’s going to let them in on the plan for the next one so they can work with her for that.” 

“Oh god.” Tobin rolls her eyes, dropping her forehead onto Christen’s shoulder. 

“That’s a way to be nice, Tobin.” Alex chuckles at her friend, receiving a similar reply from Kristie. “Alright, Tobin. I think we’ve got your opinion on that.” 

“That’s my ex!” Tobin explains as she looks over at Kristie again, watching her jaw drop as she starts laughing. 

“Oh, this is great.” Alex announces as she claps her hands together. 

“How recent are we talking?” Kristie wonders, now fully interested in the conversation. 

Tobin pulls a face, “Like the just-under-a-year-before-I-moved-to-Cali kind of recent.” 

“Well in that case, I might just ask her to stay for another day.” She nods thoughtfully, loving to tease Tobin and get her annoyed. 

“Kristie Anne Mewis, I’m going to kill you if you do that!” Tobin warns her, making Kristie throw her hands up in defense. 

“How did you go from her to this?” Alex looks at Tobin as she points between where Lucie disappeared to and Christen, placing her hand on her chin to make her look as if she’s thinking. Her face showing a slightly judgemental look, making it seem as if she was being offensive towards the blue-eyed woman. 

“Alex, that’s so rude!” Kristie’s eyes go wide at the statement. 

“Oh my god! No, I didn’t mean it like that.” Alex quickly clarifies, “I meant look at them. They’re complete opposites! Not just looks wise, but also personality wise since there’s no way you can convince me that your ex isn’t the party type. I can tell that she is from a mile away.”

Christen stands there a little uncomfortably, not knowing what to do with herself. She doesn't want Lucie to be dragged down by others or have them being compared, knowing first hand how different they are from Tobin’s stories. She wouldn’t want anyone talking bad about her if the roles were reversed and Christen’s the last person to wish something bad upon others. 

“Lucie and I are a complicated story.” Tobin decides it’s the simplest way to explain it, “We weren’t dating properly and she definitely wasn’t my type, but she’s obviously pretty so there’s that. Technically, it was more of a friends with benefits situation.” 

Considering they were such close friends and spent so much time together, it was a little more complex than a simple ‘friends with benefits’ type of friendship, but they didn’t need to know that. 

She continues when Alex nods, “Christen’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever met and the love of my life, but I definitely love her for way more than just her looks. Happy with that answer or do you need me to list all of the reasons why I fell in love with Chris?” Tobin offers with a chuckle.

“I think we’d be here until tomorrow.” Alex jokes, Kristie chipping in with a response. “More like next year.” 

Christen reaches for Tobin’s hand that’s hanging down between them, quickly squeezing it for a split second and then dropping it again.

Christen is the only person that knows the full history between Lucie and Tobin, every piece of it, so she never needed an explanation. The story was more than enough to make sense of it, besides what Tobin did before she was dating her doesn’t concern Christen.

If she was being honest, she’s never thought all too much about how different she was compared to the people in Tobin’s past. People change as they’re getting older and different environments change people too. Christen has Tobin now and that’s all that matters to her. She prefers to live in the present and look forward to the future, rather than getting hung up on the past.

Of course, she’s happy that Tobin is willing to tell her about all of it, but it was never necessary. Just like she’s done the same with Tobin and told her everything about her past relationship, it being the first time she truly opened up about some of the harder topics and situations that she’d been too afraid to speak about in the past.

\-------

On Saturday, their flight out to Texas was booked in as an early morning one. They were flying out together with Fran, since Will, Tyler, Channing and Mikel were all waiting to fly out later that day, so they could meet their families at the airport before getting an Uber together. 

They get ready to border shortly before six o’clock, all having already had a cup of coffee with the hopes of it keeping them going for the day. 

Christen sits in between both of them, talking for the first twenty minutes before Tobin continues to yawn. 

“Baby, just take a nap if you’re tired.” Christen leans over to her, “I’m guessing it’s going to be a long day anyway.” 

Tobin pulls out her airpods, connecting them to her phone and putting on a playlist. Pulling up the arm rest in between them, she leans into Christen who wraps an arm around her shoulder, letting Tobin fall asleep. 

Christen chuckles when she feels Tobin’s breath even out, “How quickly that woman can fall asleep will never not impress me!” 

“Is she already out?” Fran laughs, leaning forward to see Tobin asleep with her head tucked close to her granddaughter’s. When she sees that Tobin is definitely out of consciousness and has her earphones in, she leans back and speaks quietly to Christen so only she can hear her. 

“So, Chris…” Fran starts as she stretches her legs out a little. 

Christen hums, waiting for her grandmother to continue. 

“Tobin’s taking good care of you, right? And she’s keeping you safe? She shows you that she loves you and you guys never call each other names or anything like that when arguing?” Fran checks, especially knowing how much damage someone can cause to Christen by calling her names. 

Christen looks down at Tobin with a smile, diverting her eyes to look up at her grandmother. When she sees that she wants a genuine answer, she responds. “You know that she is.” 

“I do.” Fran nods, “But I’m still checking. If I let you marry someone and end up regretting my decision to give my blessing, then I’ll never forgive myself.” 

“You have nothing to worry about and you won’t regret it, I promise.” Christen assures her, “I couldn’t be marrying anyone better. I love her so much and she looks out for me every second of the day. I’ve never been happier and I know that she’ll always stay.” 

She runs her hands through Tobin’s hair, kissing her head and looking down at her as she mutters a sentence in a quiet voice, Fran only just hearing it. “Falling in love with her is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Fran smiles softly at her, relaxing her shoulders a little, even if she already knew all of this. 

“I did want to ask you something about the wedding, though.” Christen approaches, figuring she might as well do this whilst they’re on the topic. “We’ve been getting into more small details with our wedding planning lately, and I wanted to know if you’d walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. Please?” 

“Chris! I would be  _ honored  _ to walk you down the aisle.” Fran squeezes her arm, “That would mean the world to me.”

“There’s probably better places to ask you that then on a plane,” Christen chuckles, “But it would mean a lot to me.” 

“Time flies!” She comments as she looks at Christen after giving her a soft smile. “I can’t believe my little girl is getting married. I’m going to have three married grandchildren, that’s crazy.” 

“I’m sure it won’t be long until you’ll be a great grandmother too.” Christen winks, thinking about how long Tyler has been married now and knowing that she’s always had plans to have children. If not, there’s always her and Tobin, who she’s sure will be mothers within the next five years. That makes her wonder about Channing's plans, being unsure as to whether she wants a family or not. 

“That makes me sound  _ so  _ old!” She laughs, “I wasn’t exactly pleased when I first found out your Mom was pregnant, just because of how young your Dad was at the time, but now I’m glad Cody had you girls so early and that I’ll still live to see your kids too.”

“You’re one of the fittest people I know for your age and you’re only in your sixties.” Christen points out, “You’ve got years to go!” 

“Oh, so was the  _ for your age  _ your way of calling me old?” Fran teases her. 

Christen starts laughing, “You know what I mean! I don’t want to think about anything like that for now though.” She changes the topic in their conversation, “I’m just grateful to have you in my life.” 

“You’ve grown up to be such a sweet young woman, Chris!” Her grandmother tells her, “You can be really proud of how kind you are.” 

“A lot of that is down to Mom and Dad for raising us right, I just wish they could be doing the right thing now.” She smiles sadly, looking down at her engagement ring. Christen’s so grateful for the people she has in her life, but her parents will always be her parents, a spot that no one can replace. 

Fran sighs, “Me too. I hope they come around one day and realize what a mistake they’ve made.” 

Christen isn’t too sure that’ll ever happen though, considering it’s been over a year since they last spoke to any of their children and they seem to be doing just fine without them. 

They dive into happier conversations after, Tobin waking up again when they land. After grabbing their luggage, they get the keys to their rental car and head towards the lake house. They type the address into the GPS, seeing that it’s still a little while away. Tobin offers to drive them, seeing as she was the one that got some sleep on the plane. 

The private driveway up to the house is a long one, the house not coming into view until they pull up into the courtyard outside of it. 

“This is a mansion, nevermind a lake house.” Christen’s jaw drops as she looks out of the window, Fran’s facial expression not being much different from the backseat. 

Tobin seems surprised too, her eyes widening as she puts the car in park behind one of the other ones standing in front of the house. “This must be worth millions!” She lets out with surprise, “You could fit at least twenty cars in front of this house.” 

Fran chuckles, “They probably have a garage hidden somewhere for another ten.” 

“Sooo…” Christen starts as she turns to Tobin, “Are Sarah’s parents millions kind of rich or?” 

Tobin laughs, “I know they’re very well off, but I didn’t know that they were  _ this  _ well off.” 

“I don’t feel like I belong here with my yoga pants and hoodie.” Christen admits as she looks down at her clothes, Tobin also just being dressed in sweatpants and a sweatshirt. 

“They’re really down to earth people. You wouldn’t be able to tell that they have money.” Tobin promises, “I mean clearly since I didn’t even know that they had this much money.” 

“Alright, let’s get out of this car.” Fran announces with excitement, “If I’m going to be staying in a mansion for a week then I have to see the inside of it too!” 

Tobin and Christen both laugh at her, climbing out too and walking to the back of the car. Cole opens the front door of the house, running and launching himself into Tobin’s arms. They hug tightly, Tobin closing her eyes, having missed her nephew every day. 

Christen lifts their luggage out of the trunk, closing it again and locking the car. Before she gets a chance to move, Cole’s legs are moving towards her from where he’d been with Tobin. 

She picks him up to give him a hug. “When did you get so tall?” 

“I’m a big kid now!” Cole tells her proudly.

Christen chuckles at his excitement. “Did you have a fun birthday party?” She already knew this, having received hundreds of pictures from Perry, which she’d looked through with a massive smile plastered on her face. 

Cole nods eagerly, “We had all my friends at my house. My best friend, Lucas, came too!” 

“I bet you got loads of awesome presents, bud.” 

“Can I show you my favorite one?” He perks up, as if suddenly having remembered about him bringing some of his presents along for their trip. 

“Of course you can.” Christen nods, “Just let me say hi to everyone else first, okay?” 

“Awh!” Cole pouts as Christen let’s him down again from her arms. 

“I’ll be super quick, I promise.” She assures him when she sees him deflate slightly. 

“Pinky promise?” He asks as he holds up his little finger. Christen lifts hers up too, linking it with his. “Pinky promise!” 

Christen stands up from where she’d been crouching down next to him, trying to be at eye level. He runs over to Tobin again, bouncing with happiness. “Toby, you have to come and see my birthday presents!” Christen shakes her head with a laugh, having already loved the video Taylor sent them of Cole opening his presents from Tobin and Christen on his birthday. 

Cindy must have realized that they arrived too, hugging Tobin as she’s walking towards the house with Christen and her luggages in hand. Jeff comes up to Christen and greets her before carrying Fran’s luggage for her. 

Cindy spots Christen after, making her way over to the younger woman. 

She pulls her into a tight hug right away, “Congrats, Chris! I’m so happy for you.” 

Christen’s smile grows wide as Cindy continues. “Let me see that ring in person!” 

“She did so well.” Cindy comments, looking back at her daughter who’s well out of their earshot by now. 

Christen nods, “She really did.” 

“...With the ring and the person.” Cindy finishes her sentence, winking in her direction. 

“She makes me so happy.” Christen smiles brightly, before feeling an arm being thrown around her shoulder. “Who makes you so happy?” 

“Katie…” Christen smirks, before turning serious. “I just think she’s a very good sibling of yours and clearly the best Heath!” 

“Oh really?” Tobin chuckles, playfully grabbing Christen’s neck at the same time as she ducks away. She makes sure not to hurt her, Christen laughing as Tobin embraces her in her arms and leans forwards to kiss her cheek. 

Cindy stands at the side with a big smile, loving seeing her daughter this free and happy. 

“I mean I love Katie,” Tobin shrugs, “But I’m gonna have to argue on the best Heath part. I think that in my eyes you’ll be the best Heath soon.” 

Cindy’s jaw drops at the unexpected news, “You’re taking Tobin’s name?” 

Christen smiles with a nod, seeing Cindy’s big smile. “This day just keeps getting better and it’s only midday!” She looks so happy about the news that Tobin can’t help but have to push her emotions down. “You guys aren’t pregnant too, are you?” Cindy jokes, wondering if there’s anything else she needs to know about. 

“Give us a few years, Mom.” Tobin laughs, shaking her head. 

“I’m just checking!”

Cole comes running back outside, stomping over to Christen and taking her hand. “You’re taking soooo long, Auntie Chrissy. You pinky promised you’d be quick and you can’t break a pinky promise.” 

Tobin moves closer to her mom with a smile, watching as Christen races Cole to the front door, letting him win by a mile. She drops her head onto her mother’s shoulder, Cindy wrapping an arm around her. “Mom, I’m so in love with her!” 

“I’m so proud of you, Tob.” Cindy tells her honestly, “You’ve always gone after what you wanted, ever since you were a little kid, but seeing you now just makes me so happy. I love seeing you smile so widely and just being yourself around the person you love. The way you both treat each other is so special and I’m just really happy that you found someone like that.” 

Tobin squeezes her mother’s hip. “Thank you for welcoming Chris into the family so well too.” Tobin offers, “It’s not like I expected anything else, but compared to other people in the past, you let Christen in right away and always made her feel a part of our family.” 

Cindy smiles, “She  _ is  _ part of it. I had a good feeling about her from the start, and you couldn’t have picked anyone better.” 

“I know.” Tobin pulls back and looks at her, “I’m so lucky.” 

“You are.” Cindy nods, “She’s super lucky too though...but I think you both already know that.” 

They walk in to find Christen talking to Sarah’s parents, Paula and Cory, waiting on Tobin so they could show them around the house. 

“Baby, do you think they’d let me have this house for free, so I can make my millions by selling it?” Christen wonders thoughtfully as they stand on the dock at the end of the long backyard. 

“Feel free to try, but no promises that they’ll say yes.” Tobin chuckles, looking around. 

“We could retire, build our dream house somewhere and live happily ever after with our future kids.” Christen suggests, just thinking about how much the house must be worth if it was to be sold. 

“Guess what? We can still do that...minus the retiring right now part.” Tobin smirks, “We have a beautiful home, right by the beach, together. We’re getting married in eight months  _ and _ get to spend forever together. That sounds like the dream life to me, especially since it’s with you.” 

Christen turns Tobin’s chin so her head is facing Christen, leaning in for a kiss. “That sounds like my dream life too.” She shrugs as she gives Tobin a loving look, “Money can do a lot, but it can’t buy love and happiness.” 

They look up at the house again as they start walking back up towards it. 

“Still would be nice to be millionaires though.” Christen casually comments, making Tobin nod with a shrug. “Yeah, I guess you have a point.” 

The remainder of the day feels like chaos. It’s simply filled with people arriving, introducing everyone to each other and trying to get to know people that they’ve never met before. It comes to a stage where Christen feels so exhausted, that she tries to hide out and take a moment for herself. 

Tobin ends up running into her, them having lost each other half-an-hour ago when it got too busy. 

“You look tired.” Tobin gives her a soft look, tucking Christen’s hair behind her ear. 

“I’m  _ so  _ tired.” Christen nods, trying to make her eyes stay open a little wider. 

“Let’s just go to bed.” She suggests, “The kids are all in bed already and we’ve had a long day anyway.”

Christen nods gratefully, going upstairs to get ready while Tobin finds her Mom and Katie to finish off their conversation. She comes upstairs a short while later, Christen already having returned from the bathroom down the hall. 

She tells Tobin about her asking Fran to walk her down the aisle whilst Tobin gets ready, getting under the covers and finding her book once the older woman leaves to brush her teeth. 

Tobin’s scrolling on her phone and talking to Christen about something she saw on Instagram, distracting her from reading her book for the hundredth time, when the door squeaks slightly. They both pause, looking up to see a small face looking around the corner. 

“What are you doing here, munchkin?” Tobin wonders when she sees who it is. 

Ellie pads towards their bed, placing the things she’s holding on the bed and raising her arms up at Tobin to show that she wants to be lifted up. 

Tobin puts her phone on the nightstand, reaching to lift her and place her sideways on her lap. 

“Who’s this?” Christen wonders with a smile, also putting her book to the side. She takes the small bear out of Ellie’s arms, facing it towards her. 

Ellie smiles, “That’s Cuddles, my bear!” She turns the other stuffed animal in her arm towards Christen. “And this is Beau, my giraffe.” 

Christen and Tobin smile when they recognise it as the one they bought her back in London. “Who did you get that from?” 

“You and Toto.” Ellie replies before yawning, wiggling her legs to get them a little further under the covers. 

She wraps her arms around Tobin, dropping her head on her chest. “I missed you.” Ellie mumbles, Tobin looking over at Christen as they give each other an adoring look at the words.

“I missed you too, El.” Tobin holds her close, “Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?” 

“Mommy said I hafta sleep, but I’m not tired.” Ellie announces as she reaches forward for the book she came in with. “Can you read me a story, please?” 

Tobin nods, lying down once Ellie shuffles off her and into the space between both of them. She props her head up a little, moving so she’s facing Ellie. 

“It’s story time, auntie Chrissy.” Ellie announces as she pats the space next to her, trying to get Christen to move closer. Christen props her pillows up, Ellie moving herself so she’s lying in Christen’s arms. 

She eventually ends up falling asleep right in between them, still snuggling into Christen. When Tobin finishes that page and sees Ellie in deep sleep, exhausted from travelling, she leaves a light kiss on her head. 

Tobin turns her head to locate her glass, seeing that she must have forgotten it downstairs. “Shoot, I forgot my water downstairs.” 

“It’s fine, I’ll get it.” Christen slowly moves her arm out from under Ellie, resting her head down on the pillows so she’s comfortable. “I’ll tell Katie where Ellie is too, before she has a panic attack when she gets to bed and her child isn’t there.” 

Tobin chuckles, “That’s probably a good idea.” 

Christen walks over to her, leaving a kiss on her lips. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Tobin smiles as Christen walks over to her suitcase. She puts a sweatshirt on over her sleepshirt, also throwing Tobin’s joggers on over her cotton shorts. 

They’d been laughing about it earlier, talking about the fact they’ve never slept in this many clothes before when they’re together. Normally, they’ll either sleep in just an oversized shirt or without any clothes on, but it wasn’t very often that they slept in a full set of pyjamas. So far the only time they’d done this was at Christmas time when Cole and Kayden loved to come and wake them up in the mornings. 

She gets two glasses of water, leaving them on the small cupboard by the stairs so she could find Katie. 

Christen spots her outside with everyone else that was sleeping here overnight. Everyone that was staying in Paula and Cory’s friend’s house had already left by the time Tobin came up to go to bed. 

She approaches Katie from behind, putting a hand on her shoulder and leaning in to talk to her. “Just to let you know, El ended up in our bed.” 

“Shit, I’m so sorry.” Katie says as she’s about to scramble and drag her daughter back to bed, “She’s always up for mischief. I swear I need to get a baby monitor again.” 

“I only told you, so you wouldn’t have a heart attack when you come back and realize that she isn’t there.” Christen stops her, “You don’t have to apologize, she’s fine. She’s adorable and just came into our room and ended up falling asleep there.” 

“I’ll come and get her now.” Katie tells her as she takes the final sip of her drink. 

Christen shakes her head, “You can just leave her there for the night. We don’t mind, Katie! If you’d rather move her and have her with you guys, then that’s fine, but she’s more than welcome to just sleep in our bed.” 

“Are you sure?” She double checks, not wanting them to have to deal with her daughter. 

“I wouldn’t be offering if I wasn’t.” Christen nods, just getting an unsure look from Katie in return. “Trust me, you’d know if I didn't want her there, because I’d be asking you to move her.” 

“Okay.” Katie agrees, nodding. “But just wake me up if you want me to get at any point throughout the night.” 

“She’s an angel, so I’m sure she’ll be perfectly fine, but I will do.” Christen agrees, walking towards the door again. “Thanks, Chris!” Katie calls out to her. 

\-------

The next morning, Tobin and Christen are already dressed by the time Ellie wakes up. Her tired and sleepy face lifting up from the pillow as Christen finishes straightening her hair. She’s one of those children that can sleep through anything, which Tobin had been laughing at for the past ten minutes, when Ellie didn’t as much as twitch a muscle throughout Tobin and Christen’s full conversation. 

She stretches her small body, Tobin and Christen both watching with a smile from across the room. Ellie seems to have woken up a lot more energetic than she was last night, getting up and bouncing on the bed. 

Tobin cringes slightly, giving Christen a skeptical look. “You can only do that with auntie Toto and auntie Chrissy’s bed, okay? I don’t think Mommy and Daddy would be happy if you did that on theirs.” 

“Okay!” Ellie giggles, Tobin moving over to the bed and catching her. She tickles her, Christen smiling at Ellie’s laughter, before Tobin picks her up and carries her sideways when she sees that Christen is ready. 

Ellie squirms a little, trying to get down, but realizing Tobin’s hold on her is too strong. “Toto, I’m too old for this!” 

Christen and Tobin burst out laughing at the phrase James always uses with Ellie as a joke when she asks him to do anything that involves more energy, the little girl seemingly having caught onto it. 

“I found a lost child in my bed.” Tobin announces as they walk into the kitchen, Ellie still being carried by her waist. 

“A lost child that stole all of my duvet last night.” Christen chuckles as Tobin let’s Ellie down. 

“I had a sleepover!” Ellie lets out with excitement as she runs over to Katie.

“Did she sleep with you guys last night?” Cindy wonders with a smile, watching as her granddaughter walks with a bounce in her step. 

“Yeah.” Tobin laughs with a nod, “She just came in after Katie put her to bed and ended up falling asleep.” 

“She’s so cute.” Christen smiles as she looks over at her. 

“Should we get you ready for the day?” Katie asks her daughter, to which Ellie shakes her head. “I think we should!” Katie nods, but Ellie’s cheeky grin just grows. Instead, Katie lifts her up playfully, carrying her away. 

“Auntie Chrissy, help!” Ellie calls out, acting way older than her age and making all of them laugh. 

\-------

Christen spends most of the morning catching up with Will’s parents since she hasn’t seen them in a while. She was also planning to invite them to the wedding, so she was more than proud to finally introduce Tobin to them. 

She’s just moved on, now on a hunt to find a snack in the kitchen when Cole comes to a stop right in front of her. 

“I learned a new trick, you wanna see, Chrissy?” Cole tells her proudly, carrying his soccer ball. 

“Of course I want to see your new trick!” She nods right away, “Should we do it outside so we don’t break anything?” 

“I think that’s a good idea.” Cole agrees as they walk onto the decking and down the steps to get to the backyard. He shows her how he can now juggle the ball, something Christen and Tobin were trying to teach him when him and Perry flew out to LA before they left for France. 

Christen cheers him on, watching as he laughs at her comments and has a beaming smile on his face from how proud Christen is. 

“You know who is awesome at juggling the ball?” Christen asks him, watching as Cole thinks for a moment before shaking his head. “Auntie Toby!” 

“She is?” His eyes light up, loving anything that involves Tobin. He has so much admiration for his aunt that it makes Christen's heart melt every time. She truly is his biggest role model and inspiration in life. 

Christen nods, “Yeah, she’s super good at it.” 

“Do you think she’ll help me if I ask her?” Cole wonders, as if he’s momentarily forgot that Christen and Tobin never miss a chance to play soccer with him. 

It’s been Tobin and his thing for a long time, despite Jeff being the professional. It might change when he’s older, but for now he wasn’t bothered about the level of playing she has, even if any soccer person knows that Tobin still plays at a very high and skilled level and could make a professional team if she seriously starts to train again with that mindset for months on end.

Tobin was the first person to introduce him to a soccer ball and since then it’s something they do together whenever they see each other. 

Christen having such a history with the sport too, led to her easily joining into that little bond. Her calm, patient and encouraging personality is just some of the many reasons why Cole has grown so close to Christen. That’s how over time soccer became a way for them to bond, and Christen truly believes that it’s brought her and Cole ten times closer than if he wouldn’t be coming to her every time he wants to kick the ball around. 

“Definitely.” Christen assures him, making it clear to him that he shouldn’t question that. 

“Okay, imma go find her. Don’t go, alright?” He checks to make sure that Christen wasn’t about to leave. “I’ll wait here.”

She watches him sprint over to Tobin, who’s standing with two people that Christen doesn’t recognize. He comes back a moment later, Tobin walking behind him. 

“Baby, you have to see Cole’s new trick!” Christen tells her as Tobin comes closer. She moves to sit down on the grass next to Christen, both of them watching Cole juggle the ball. 

“That’s awesome, dude!” Tobin cheers proudly for him. 

“Auntie Chrissy said you’re the best at them. Can you show me yours?” Tobin turns to look at Christen, raising an eyebrow at her. Christen shrugs at her with a smirk, as if to tell her not to even try to deny it. 

Tobin stands up, Cole passing the ball to her as she starts juggling the ball. Christen stands up after a while too, the trio just passing the ball around and doing whatever Cole requests next. 

Ellie finds herself next to them after a while, Kayden having gone to take a nap, so she got bored of not having anyone to play with. Tobin and Christen take her by a hand each, trying to teach her how to play too. Cole, being the big brother he is, starts passing more gently, just letting Ellie kick the ball in any direction so he can run after it. 

Cindy and Perry are standing at the top of the deck, leaning over the railing as they’re looking down towards them. They’d seen the whole thing play out, from Cole taking Christen outside to Tobin and Ellie joining in the end. They look over as Tobin, Christen and Cole start laughing at something with Ellie, seeing how patient they are with both of them. 

“They’re going to make the best parents, aren’t they?” Perry sighs as she watches them with a smile. Cindy looks back at them again as Christen grabs the soccer ball, running away from Cole and letting him catch her. 

“Yeah, they are.” A smile creeps onto her face. Perry spots this, continuing to speak her thoughts out loud. “You can tell how much they both love kids.” 

Cindy nods in response to her, a content sigh leaving her body. “I’m just so happy that Tobin is happy. She’s truly found her person.” 

“It’s clear how much they love and understand each other.” Perry agrees right away, “Christen fits in so well with our family too.” 

“She just grew into it and it’s strange for me to think back to a time where she wasn’t in it.” Cindy admits, not being able to imagine it back to the times where it was  _ single Tobin  _ and they used to tease her about it. That all seems so distant and far away. It’s weird for her now, trying to picture Tobin turning up to family events alone and not being as smiley as she is now, constantly laughing and joking about something with Christen. 

“I need a catch up with Christen later!” Perry tells her with a laugh. “Keeping that ring a secret is the hardest thing I’ve done in my life.” 

“I would not have trusted you with it.” Cindy starts laughing, her daughter just not being one that’s good at keeping secrets. She usually doesn’t mean to tell them, they just slip out and by the time she realizes it was supposed to be a secret, it’s usually too late. 

\-------

“Tob, where’s your girl?” Perry asks as she comes up behind her sister, who’s sitting on one of the outdoor sofas. 

“How am I supposed to know?” Tobin shrugs, about to return back to her conversation. 

Perry groans, “I don’t know, because you’re together and stuff.” 

“Just because we’re  _ together and stuff  _ doesn’t mean we’re attached by the hip twenty-four seven, you know.” Tobin speaks back at her in the same attitude Perry is giving her. 

“Okay jeesh, I only asked.” She raises her eyebrows. “And I only answered.” 

Perry shoves her shoulder lightly, “You’re annoying.” 

Tobin laughs at her older sister, turning more serious and giving her a real answer. “She was talking to Mikel inside.”

“Chris!” She calls out when she spots her standing around. “Come with me! But we’ve gotta grab some drinks first.” 

“Okay?” Christen simply agrees, following her into the kitchen before they head outside again. They walk past Tobin’s seats, Christen squeezing her shoulder as she continues to follow Perry. 

She leads them down the steps of the deck and towards the porch swing that is hidden away at the bottom of the backyard, covered from behind by some trees, but having a view out onto the lake. Perry sits down first, Christen following her lead and sitting down on the other side as they both put their feet up. 

“Tell me everything! I want to know all about the proposal.” Perry demands, looking at her as if she means business. They’d told most of the story on their FaceTime call, but they were still in the rush of it all and it still hadn’t settled in yet. Now though, she wants to ask Christen about it in person and just speak to her about it privately, with no one else around to hear them, including Tobin. 

“Per, it was perfect!” Christen bites her lip, the butterflies rushing through her at the thought of that day. It was truly the most special day of her life and a moment she’ll never forget. She’s still got every second of it engraved into her brain, from the way she felt, to her reaction and Tobin’s words. “It was everything I could have asked for and more.” 

She pulls out her phone, showing Perry one of the pictures she took of the beach they were on at the time. “That looks amazing! And Tobin claims she isn’t a romantic.” 

“Oh, she’s the biggest romantic.” Christen rolls her eyes at Tobin always telling everyone how bad she is at thinking of romantic gestures, when Christen knows first hand that Tobin is more than romantic and constantly showing her love towards the younger woman. 

“Was it busy there?” Perry wonders, “It doesn’t exactly look like a place that would be unpopular, especially for tourists.” 

“No, there was no one near us and only a handful of people further down at the beach.” Christen shakes her head, chuckling as she continues. “So I made Tobin watch Legally Blonde with me a few weeks before you came to visit.” 

“I used to love that movie!” Perry recalls, “Me and Katie once made Tobin watch it when we were teenagers, but she fell asleep.” 

“Yeah, she told me.” Christen laughs, “Don’t worry, she fell asleep with me too.” Perry smiles as Christen continues, “But we were talking about the breakup scene and got onto the topic of public proposals and I just kind of mentioned that ones in busy places just aren’t me and that I love the little, more private ones. It was just a casual conversation and something that started off more as a passing comment than anything else, but then next thing I know was that Tobin is proposing to me.”

“ _ Oh!  _ So the girl takes notes.” Perry makes both of them laugh. “So you really had no idea? Not even a little?”

“Nope.” Christen shakes her head, “I actually made a deal with myself, as a bit of a joke, a while back. Basically I told myself that I’d give her four years and if she still hasn’t proposed by then, then I’d start trying to drop little hints until she eventually catches on.” 

“We’d spoken about marrying each other probably a handful of times.” Christen explains a little further, “It was something we both knew that we wanted for the future, same with having kids together, but we spoke about it and then that was kind of that. It was for the future and in our minds we both knew what we wanted, so there wasn’t much of a need to discuss it regularly.”

“Obviously I’m her second  _ serious  _ relationship. I mean she was seeing people over the years and I don’t know how much you know about that, but it never even got to the point of feelings being involved or an official relationship.” She takes a breath before continuing, “So naturally I just thought that Tobin might need some more time to be in a fully committed relationship before she’s ready for such a huge step like that, but I guess when you know you know.” 

“I actually just met her most recent ex this week.” Christen mentions it so casually that Perry almost checks if she heard her correctly. 

“What?” Perry asks for confirmation, “Really?”

“Yeah!” Christen chuckles, “She was really sweet though and just a nice person. I’ll say that I don’t think I could see Tobin be friends with her anymore now, because she’s a completely different person compared to her, but I might just not know her well enough from the few conversations I had with her.” 

“At least she was nice to you. It could have been worse.” Perry shrugs, “I didn’t think Tobin was seeing anyone in California before you two started dating.” 

“Oh no.” Christen shakes her head, “She lives in Portland, so it was quite a while before Tobin and I even became friends. She just had a teacher training day at our school, so that’s how we met.” 

There’s a moment of silence, Perry thinking back to the proposal. “I’m just so happy for you both. I keep saying that, but I truly am.” 

Christen moves on to the fact that Tobin even asked her family for their blessing, going above and beyond any expectations Christen ever had. 

Perry puts her hand on her head, “Does Mom know that? She’ll cry if she finds out.” 

“I doubt it.” Christen shrugs, “Tobin didn’t even tell me until I asked about it after Tyler told me. It gets even sweeter though.” She continues, “So my Great Aunt had this amazing wedding ring that Gran keeps at her house, which I’ve loved all my life.”

“Gran showed her it and you know, Tobin being Tobin once again, brought it with her when she went ring shopping with Tyler and Channing, and got the band on my ring personalized so it’s the same pattern as that one.” She sticks her hand out, showing Perry the band of the ring. 

Perry gives her a teary smile, “Why is this making me so emotional?” 

Tobin comes around the trees in that moment, interrupting their conversation. “I was wondering where you guys went.” 

Christen turns around to look at Tobin standing behind her. She moves to the front of the seat, nudging Christen’s legs and making her put them down so she can make space for Tobin and rest them on her lap instead. 

“What were you talking about?” Tobin questions when she realizes she stopped their conversation. 

“You!” Christen smiles, reaching out for her hand and lightly threading her fingers through it. 

“Have you started wedding planning yet?” Perry asks them, getting somewhat back to what they were talking about. 

“Oh yeah!” They both nod right away. 

“How much of it? Because I’m not a very patient person and it already feels like I’ll have to wait forever.” 

“It’s only been half a year since we got engaged, Per.” Tobin shakes her head, “Also try being two women and wanting to get married. You’ll find that you get turned down at a lot of places, trust me.” 

“That must be hard.” Perry gives them both a sad smile, “I’m sorry you have to deal with that, it’s not fair and you shouldn’t have to. You two getting married should be seen in the same way as a woman and a man getting married.” 

“It should, but it doesn’t.” Tobin nods with a frown, poking Christen’s side in an attempt to lighten the conversation. “It’s okay though, because at the end of the day I’ll still be able to call this one my wife.” 

A smile makes its way onto Christen’s face as she leaves a kiss on Tobin’s cheek. 

“You never answered my question of how much you got done!” Perry relaizes, urging them to continue.

Christen’s face lights up at the thought of it, “We’ve got a venue, date, guestlist and sent out save the dates. The rest is a secret for now!” 

“Wait, you’ve sent out save the dates?” Perry sits up a little taller, “Why haven’t I got mine yet?” 

“Because we posted them on our way to the airport, so no one would know until we get back.” Tobin smirks at her, knowing that Perry is about to start trying to get the date out of them. 

“That’s so cruel!” She frowns, “You have to tell me.” 

“Nope, you can wait a week.” Tobin shakes her head sternly. “No, I can’t!”

“Yes, you can.” Tobin starts laughing at the frown on Perry’s face. “I’ll give you a hint...it’s sometime next year in summer.” 

“That really narrows it down.” Perry gives them both a disapproving look. “Whatever! How many people did you invite?” 

Christen racks her brain, “Ehm, I think it was just over a hundred. Maybe about hundred and ten, hundred and twenty in total - including plus ones.” 

Tobin nods in agreement, as Perry claps her hands together in front of her. “I’m so excited, you have no idea!” 

“Can I be sneaky and find out who the bridesmaids and maid of honors are?” Perry raises a hopeful eyebrow at them. They both start laughing, “No chance, Per.” 

“I’m as excited as I was for my own wedding day.” She laughs.

Christen squeezes Tobin’s hand, “Trust me, I’m so excited. It’s all I think about, all of the time!” 

\-------

Ellie had just gotten changed into her pyjamas when Katie asked her to, coming back downstairs with a hopeful look on her face. “Mommy, can I have another sleepover?” 

“I’m not sure, sweety.” Katie says cautiously, not wanting to promise anything. She wouldn’t have any problems with it, but she doesn’t want Ellie to get in Tobin and Christen’s way. 

“Please?” Ellie looks up at her with a hopeful and pleading look in her eyes. “I want to sleep with Chrissy and Toto.” 

Katie gives her mother a skeptical look, as if asking for advice. “I’m sure they won’t mind.” Cindy tells her, not imagining either of them being opposed to it. 

Before she’s able to make a decision on whether to ask her sister or not, Christen comes up behind Ellie. She blows raspberries on her cheek and just by her neck, making the ticklish girl in her arms laugh. 

“Chris, stop hyping her up before her bedtime!” Katie shakes her head at the woman, not being able to hide the smile on her face. Cindy just chuckles at them, watching Katie’s terrible attempt at being serious and not encouraging Ellie to wake up even more.

“Oh, I’m in trouble with your Mommy.” She gives Ellie a guilty look, making the little girl laugh again. 

“Naughty Chrissy!” Ellie grins as she leans back in Christen’s arms, squishing her cheeks together with her hands and making Christen pull funny faces.

“Chrissy, can we have another sleepover?” She asks suddenly, momentarily having forgotten about her mission to get Katie to agree. 

“Hmm, let me think about it.” Christen jokes, making Ellie give her a cute grin in an attempt to convince her. “Are you going to steal my bed covers again?” 

Ellie giggles as she shakes her head.

Christen smiles, acting as if she’s giving in, even though she never had a problem with it in first place. “Alright then...I don’t mind, but you have to ask Toto too, okay?” 

Ellie nods, so Christen lets her down. She runs over to Tobin on the other side of the room, the woman kneeling on the floor so she could speak to her niece. 

They both come back over again together. Tobin locks eyes with Christen, trying to gauge her reaction but she just received a soft look, giving her all the confirmation she needed. 

Katie goes with Ellie to brush her teeth so Tobin and Christen head upstairs too. 

They read Ellie a story again, just like the previous night. Christen volunteers to read this time, making Tobin realize just how soothing it is. She could listen to Christen’s voice all day long, but lying there has her struggling not to fall asleep to the calmness of her voice. She doesn’t stop reading until Ellie is asleep, hearing quiet little snores come out of her after another long day. 

“Do you want to go back downstairs?” Tobin whispers to Christen when she sees that Ellie is asleep, giving her the option of throwing some sweatpants and a different shirt on so they could sit with the rest of the adults. 

Christen gets up from the bed, shaking her head. She could tell that Tobin didn’t particularly want to, so she walks over to her, getting under the covers and lying down in her arms instead. 

“Let’s just cuddle instead.” She suggests, feeling Tobin’s face turn into a smile. They lie there, talking quietly and just holding each other in comfortable silence until Christen lets out her fourth yawn. 

“I think I’m gonna go to sleep.” Christen suggests, moving off Tobin and towards the end of the bed. 

“Can you not just sleep right here?” Tobin suggests with a pout. She loves having her niece with them, but one thing she’s missing the most is falling asleep with Christen in her arms, even if it’s only been two nights. 

“I don’t want her to fall out of bed.” Christen shakes her head. She gives Tobin a sleepy smile, leaning down to kiss her softly. “I love you, my beautiful girl.” 

Tobin smiles, kissing her back. “I love you too.” 

Christen walks over to her side of the bed, settling in and turning to face Ellie. She reaches a hand over the little body in the middle, opening it up for Tobin to link her fingers through her own. 

\-------

The next morning at breakfast was the first time everyone who was coming had arrived and was in the same place. They’d sort of organized it in a way that just meant everyone was paying for their own food, so they could save money and were already staying in the two lake houses for free. 

Since the weather was treating them well, they’d mainly been eating meals scattered around outside. They were usually all sitting on chairs on the outside deck, on the stairs or on cushions on the floor. Cindy decided it was the perfect time to do a little speech and thank everyone for coming.

The weather was warmer today, much warmer than it had been the previous days, if that was even possible considering their temperatures had already been pretty high the past two days. 

Cole and Kayden had both been eager to go swimming in the lake today, having brought their things to go swimming. Perry, never being a big fan of swimming and rather sunbathing on the side, lays a towel out on the dock and lies down. 

Tobin and Christen had both brought their bikinis, being used to constantly being in the water or going surfing. They go to join her on the dock, becoming too warm within ten minutes and deciding to go into the water instead. 

“Can I go too, Mommy?” Cole taps Perry so she opens her eyes, looking at her with a hopeful look. She sits up, seeing that Christen, Tobin, Katie, Channing, Jeff and Sarah are all in the water. 

She nods, seeing that there’s more than enough people to help him if he were to struggle at any point. Perry moves to sit up a little, so she has a better view over the water and can read her book instead. 

Cole jumps up happily, walking towards the steps and going into the water too. Her small worries vanish right away when Tobin spots him, swimming over to him and staying by his side. Christen must have spotted them too, looking around for Kayden. 

“Kayden, come here!” Christen calls when she spots him sitting on the dock next to Perry. 

He looks at her a little skeptically, unsure how deep the water is. 

“It’s not cold or deep, I promise.” She tells him, “I can stand if I swim over there.” 

Christen walks around to where she was pointing, standing in the water and holding her arms out to the little boy standing at the edge of the dock. “Jump on three, I’ll catch you.” 

They both count to three, Kayden jumping in and landing right in front of Christen in the water. She brushes the water off his face a little so it wouldn’t go in his eyes, helping him swim further into the water. Sarah joins her, both of them playing with Kayden in the water until he gets too cold. 

“Let’s get you wrapped in a towel.” Christen suggests, rubbing his shoulder as they walk over to the heap of towels lying on the side. 

She picks a small one up, wrapping it around his shoulders to keep him warm. He’ll dry off in no time with the sun anyway. “We better put some more sunscreen on you before you end up getting a sunburn!” Christen tells him as he lets her cream his face, arms and legs after putting his t-shirt back on. 

Since it was so busy there, she’d made it a point to continuously look out for Kayden, Cole and Ellie too. There were a lot of people that they didn’t know there, and while they had their grandparents and great grandparents there too, Christen knows how easy it is to lose a kid that loves to run around and explore. She didn’t want them to feel overwhelmed from all of the new faces either, so having a familiar face around was going to help them feel safer. 

She wraps a towel around her own body too, sitting down on the wooden chair at the edge of the dock. Kayden sits down on her lap, both of them watching Tobin and Sarah mess around with Cole in the water. 

They all take it in turns to shower in the six bathrooms once everyone is out of the water, getting dressed into dry clothes. 

Tobin and Christen drive out into the nearby town with Channing, Perry and Sarah afterwards, having a look around the local area and exploring the different shops it has to offer. They end up having dinner at a restaurant here too, not returning to the lake house until after everyone else has already eaten. 

Perry and Katie leave to bring their kids to bed, so Tobin and Christen end up sitting outside with Cindy and Tobin’s grandparents. They get into a conversation about their trip to France in the Summer, so Christen grabs their camera from where the battery is charging upstairs. 

They go through the different photographs on it, showing them all of them, from the ones of their first few days in Paris, to the ones of the night of their engagement. 

Tobin sits back as she lets them look through the pictures at their own pace, having already discussed most of the things they saw in France. 

She leans closer to Christen, “Can I have some of your wine?” 

Christen glares at her, making Tobin laugh and gives her a cute smile. “Please?” 

“Baby, get your own.” Christen instructs, “The bottle is right there and the glasses are inside.” 

“But that’s so far away.” She complains, making Christen roll her eyes. “It’s probably about twenty steps.” 

“That’s a long way!” Tobin insists, Christen shaking her head with a smile. “Please, just a little bit? Because I’m the best person ever.” 

“Don’t let your head grow too big.” Christen chuckles, moving her glass away. When she sees Tobin giving her an irresistible smile once again, she gives in. “If you finish this glass, then you have to get me some more though.”   
  


Tobin pretends to make an annoyed facial expression, taking a sip of Christen’s wine. “There’s a reason you’re in love with me.” 

“And it’s most definitely not because you steal my wine.” 

Tobin just winks at her, leaning forwards to speak to her grandmother again. 

\-------

On their way inside to head up to bed, they pass Cindy, Jeff, Channing and Jeffrey, all gathered around the telescope in the living room, facing towards the window. 

“Tob, come and look at this.” Jeff calls her over, making both of them turn around and join the group. 

She looks through it, talking to them until she realizes that Christen hadn’t, laughing to herself when she realizes why.

“Babe, do you want to have a look?” Tobin wonders, pulling a face to show her she’s teasing. “Oh wait, I forgot you might struggle with that.” 

Channing bursts out laughing, knowing what Tobin is on about right away. Christen just gives her arm a light shove, shaking her head at the same time. “You’re not funny.” 

“It’s not that hard.” Jeffrey looks between the trio, Tobin and Channing both having calmed down again. “All you do is look through it.” 

The pair start laughing again at that, Christen also joining in this time. 

“It is for Christen.” Tobin tells him through a fit of laughter, Jeff and Jeffrey both giving them confused looks. 

“I can’t wink or close one eye...like at all.” Christen explains when she sees their puzzled expressions. 

“Do it.” Tobin encourages, making Christen shake her head. “Please!” 

“Fine.” Christen gives in, attempting to wink. It just ends up feeding to everyone’s entertainment, Jeff, Jeffrey and Cindy now laughing too. “I just can’t do it. My eyes don’t work that way.”

Tobin tells Christen to close her eyes, reaching her finger to put it on one of Christen’s eyelids. “Now open your other eye.” She tells her, finding this way too funny everytime. 

Christen attempts to, struggling and not even being able to open in half the way. They all start laughing again.

They eventually make their way back to their original route, going to get some drinks before heading upstairs.

When Tobin gets into their room after washing her face in the bathroom, she locks the door behind her, just to make sure that no one accidentally walks in at any point throughout the night. Christen raises an eyebrow at the action, but doesn’t comment on it. 

She climbs onto the bed, turning to face Christen once she’s settled under the covers. 

“I haven’t had a chance to kiss you properly since we left home.” Tobin explains with a slight frown, clearly not being pleased with this discovery. 

“You’ve kissed me.” Christen answers with confusion for a short moment, not having processed Tobin’s sentence fully. 

“Not properly though.” Tobin pouts before chuckling. “I’m not gonna stick my tongue down your throat in front of others.” 

Christen gives her a nod, “It’s probably a good idea not to.”

“...Especially when it’s family. I’m not sure my parents would want to see that.” Tobin pulls a face at the thought, Christen simultaneously giving her a slightly disgusted look.

She lets out a chuckle when she sees Tobin’s similar facial expression. “Well, there’s no better time for it than now.” 

“That was my thought too.” Tobin smirks, moving to straddle Christen’s hips. She sucks and kisses her way up Christen’s neck, making sure not to leave any marks since Christen would most definitely kill her for giving her hickeys when they’re around their family. 

Christen bites her lip, closing her eyes at the feeling of Tobin’s lips on her neck. She opens them for a brief moment, nudging Tobin’s head up slightly and making the woman move on and kiss her lips instead. 

\-------

Tobin gently lifts Christen’s arm off her collarbone, trying to untangle her legs from Christen’s and move the green-eyed woman’s head from her shoulder onto the pillow. 

Despite her best efforts in trying to not wake Christen up, she wasn’t successful. 

“Nuh-uh.” Christen sleepily mumbles into the pillow, reaching her hand out so it lands on Tobin’s thigh. 

“Babe, I’m just going to pee.” Tobin chuckles, leaving a kiss in Christen’s hair. “I’ll be back in a second.” 

“I need cuddles.” Christen whines, mumbling along as she still keeps her sleepy eyes closed. “I just want to be close to you.”

Tobin smiles at Christen’s last sentence, getting out of bed. “I’ll be quick, I promise.” 

She grabs some cotton shorts and a shirt, not even looking to see if they’re her’s or Christen’s. She unlocks their door, just wanting to be quick and not fancying a run-in with someone after just getting out of bed. 

She goes back to bed after, closing the door behind her. Tobin crawls back in on her side, Christen moving so she’s lying right on top of Tobin. She keeps her eyes closed, slotting her legs between Tobin’s and just nuzzling her head into her neck. 

Christen takes a deep breath after leaving a light kiss there, just inhaling Tobin’s scent and letting it ground her.

Tobin just lets her lie there, wrapping her arms around her. She lifts her hand to stroke through Christen’s hair, knowing how much the younger woman loves when she does that, and rubbing her thumb on Christen’s shoulder with the other one. 

Tobin loves these soft morning cuddles, smiling to herself as she moves her neck slightly and kisses Christen’s head. 

There’s a light knock on the door, making Tobin pull the covers a little higher. She moves them from where they were almost down to Christen’s hips, to the top of the woman’s shoulders. 

The door opens a little and a head peeks into the room, making Tobin realize that she forgot to lock the door again after coming back from the bathroom. 

Not that it really matters anyway, having only kept the door locked overnight since Christen wanted to sleep naked with Tobin instead of having to put clothes on again, just in case one of the little ones decides to pay them a visit in the morning. 

Tyler opens the door a little wider when she sees that Tobin is awake, closing it behind her again. Christen slowly opens her eyes, letting them adjust to the sunlight and looking for who it is, before closing them again. 

“Ty, I’m literally naked.” Christen states, hoping it would make her sister go away so she can just stay right where she is for another hour or so. 

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” Tyler shrugs, sitting down on top of the duvet on the side of the bed that Christen was supposed to be lying on.

Christen groans, attempting to nuzzle further into Tobin, until she realizes that she’s being unsuccessful at hiding in it. “Fine.” She whines, “Can I at least put some clothes on first?” 

Tyler shrugs, “There’s nothing stopping you.” 

“I’m so comfortable though.” Christen sighs, running her hand up and down Tobin’s side from under the shirt she put on. 

“You can lie on top of your girl again after if you really need to.” She chuckles, rolling her eyes.

“Okay, but look away.” Christen tells her, watching as Tyler doesn’t move and just answers her instead. “The amount of times that I’ve seen you naked when we were growing up, Chris…”

“Just look away.” Christen fakes annoyance, just being tired and wanting to go back to her original state of falling asleep again. 

“I’m as uninterested in seeing you naked as you are in me seeing you naked, trust me.” Tyler comments as she turns to look the other way. 

Tobin shrugs, joining the conversation. “Your own fault that you’re missing out.” 

Tyler pulls a face. “Now I just feel uncomfortable. That’s my sister, Tob.” 

“I’m just saying...she’s hot!” Tobin defends, as Tyler pulls a face again. “This conversation has my mind going to all the wrong places.” 

Christen pulls the sleep shirt over her head after putting on some underwear and shorts, climbing onto the bed and moving over tobin to drop down between the pair. “Alright, what’s so important that I had to move from my very, very comfortable spot.”

“I have some news!” Tyler bites her lip, deciding not to beat around it and just get straight to the point instead. Christen gives her a look that asks her to continue. “I’m pregnant.” 

Christen’s jaw drops at the same time as Tobin’s face lights up. Christen moves to hug Tyler within a split second, hugging her so tightly that she stops breathing for a moment. 

“Oh my God. No way. Really?” She gives her a look as if she doesn’t quite believe her. 

Tyler nods, making Christen beam with a smile. “I’m so happy for you.” 

She eventually releases Tyler from her second hug, Tobin reaching over Christen to hug her too. “Congrats Ty! That’s amazing news, I’m so excited for you both.” 

“Thank you!” Tyler squeezes her before moving back. 

“When are you due?” Tobin asks, wondering how far along she is. It’s all adding up when she thinks about it now. Tyler had refused to go swimming yesterday, clearly not wanting anyone to be able to tell before she announced it herself. “The first of June.”

“Oh, so we’ll have a little one at our wedding.” Christen nudges Tobin with a smile. 

Tyler’s eyes go wide, “You guys have a date for your wedding? When is it?” 

“You’ll have to see that for yourself when you get home.” Tobin winks. “Ooo, we get save the dates? I love those!” 

“I wasn’t finished with my news, you distracted me!” Tyler laughs, making Christen chuckle. “Sorry.” 

“Also, don’t tell anyone about this because you’re the first two people to know that I’m pregnant, apart from obviously Will.” 

“We won’t mention a thing.” They both shake their heads right away. 

“So the real reason why I wanted to tell you guys first is because I actually wanted to ask something.” Tyler starts, “I was wondering if you two would want to be the godparents?” 

  
Christen’s eyes go wide and she almost jumps up with excitement. She’s so happy for her sister that her eyes are tearing up and there’s nothing she can do to stop it. 

“Us two?” Christen asks as she waves her finger between her and Tobin. “As in Tobin and me? You want  _ us  _ to be the godparents to your child?” 

“Of course I want you two to be the godparents.” Tyler rolls her eyes at Christen’s shock, “I adore Tobin and she’s about to be my sister-in-law, and apart from you being my sister, I love you so much and always planned on it being you.” 

She’d known this right from the start, instantly agreeing on it with Will when they found out she was pregnant. Just seeing both of them interact with their niece and nephews over the past few days confirms it even more. She’s seen the way they love them before, but just spending the whole day around them and knowing everyone better makes it so much clearer. 

Anyone can see how much the kids adore their aunts, and it’s even clearer the other way round. Those kids trust them both so much and almost treat them like another set of parents when their own aren’t around. 

“We’d love to be the godparents!” Tobin tells her right away, feeling so happy for Tyler and Will. 

Tyler eventually leaves again, after Christen and Tobin excitedly discuss her pregnancy with her. 

Christen jumps into Tobin’s arms once Tyler is out of the room and the couple are out of bed and about to get changed. She wraps her legs around Tobin’s waist, hugging her tightly. 

“We’re going to be aunts again and we’ll be godparents, together.” Christen kisses Tobin, a massive smile spreading across her face. 

She’s just so happy about how well they get along with each other’s families. It’s not even each other’s families anymore, it’s just  _ their  _ family. Both sides get along seamlessly too, just making it so much more special for Christen. 

She’s so in love with Tobin and the life that they have together, and it feels so special to her when they’re seen as package deals at events, parties or other special things such as being godparents and aunts. It’s always her and Tobin now, not just the one that’s blood related and then their partner. They’re both there as individuals, but it’s the fact that they get classed together now. 

Everyone always knows that if one is going to be there, then the other will be too. 

“And this is the first time we both get to meet our niece or nephew together after birth.” Christen continues, trying to contain her excitement. 

“I love you.” Tobin smiles, kissing Christen and showing her excitement back. She feels so lucky that Tyler wants her so involved with the future addition to her and Will’s family, never having expected to even meet them when Christen and her started dating. 

\-------

They sit by the dock at sunset that night, rolling up the bottom of their sweatpants and letting their feet dangle in the water. Christen saw it as an opportunity for some alone time, having dragged her outside and to the bottom of the yard when everyone else was occupied with something different. 

Christen rests her hand on top of Tobin’s, trying to get her attention to break the comfortable silence. 

“I’m glad that Perry and Channing get on so well.” Christen admits to Tobin, “Not that I didn’t expect them to, but Channing is for sure the most shy out of Tyler, me and her, so I didn’t know if she’d be interacting the way she is now.” 

“Perry’s the best.” Tobin smiles, thinking about her sister. “She was always the one to protect me when I was growing up. Katie did too, but Perry was just the one that could tell how I was feeling without even asking me sometimes.” 

“She really likes your family.” Tobin finishes, “I find it so funny how excited Perry gets every time she sees them. I never thought she’d get that excited about the person I’m dating, nevermind their family.” 

“I love you.” Christen sighs as she looks out onto the water, watching as the sun slowly disappears. “I love you too.” 

“Do you think it’s weird that with some people those three words just become a routine, while with others they can never wear them out?” Christen asks her honestly, having thought about this in the past few minutes of silence. 

“No, I don’t.” Tobin replies without as much as hesitating or taking a second to think about it.

Christen looks at her slightly surprised at the quick reply, “You don’t?”

Tobin shakes her head, giving all the answers she needs. 

“But in past relationships I didn’t even realize when I was saying it anymore because I just kinda said it. With you I’m always conscious of when I’m saying it and why I’m saying it, and I know that it’s the exact way I feel.” Christen continues to argue her point, “It’s like everytime you say it, I just know that I’ll never get sick of hearing it.” 

“Nope, I still don’t think it’s weird.” Tobin tells her truthfully, “I just think that’s true love.” 

Christen shrugs after a short moment, “Maybe you’re right.” 

“When I tell you that I love you, it’s so simple and complex at the same time. It has so many different meanings, but at the same time, I love you just means that I love you.” She explains further, “I believe that it can only be worn out when that love fades, but I also think that people know when it’s going to fade, or could fade, or whether it’ll never be worn out.” 

Christen turns her head to look at her, kissing her cheek. They both turn around when they hear footsteps on the dock, watching Katie walk down with Ellie. The young girl runs ahead of her mother, Katie thinking she’s about to walk off the edge of the dock, but Christen stops her from walking any further just in time. 

Christen keeps her hand out by the water to act as a barrier. The water isn’t all that deep at this part of the dock compared to the other end of it, but she still wouldn’t want anything to happen. 

Ellie drops herself down on Christen’s lap, grinning up at her. 

“Hey, princess.” Christen runs her hand through Ellie’s brown hair. She takes Ellie’s shoes off too, sitting the girl in between her legs so Christen can wrap an arm around her and make sure she doesn’t fall in. She makes sure Ellie’s dress won’t touch the water, letting her copy Christen and Tobin by dangling her feet in the water too. 

As Tobin watches Christen with her arms around her niece, leaning down a little to talk to her, she thinks of it once again. Her love for Christen won’t ever fade.

\-------

When Tobin walks towards their room to go to bed that night, she stalls in the doorway. She just stands there for a moment, watching Christen sitting in bed and twisting her engagement ring. Tobin watches as Christen’s smile grows wider and she bites her lip.

It instantly makes Tobin smile too. 

She takes a step into the room when she notices that Christen hasn’t seen her yet. The younger woman looks up in that moment, realizing that Tobin was watching her. 

“Oh, so you’re spying on me now?” Christen teases as Tobin closes the door behind her. 

“Just thinking about how beautiful you are, that’s all.” She winks, kissing Christen and moving to turn all of the lights off after getting under the covers. 

Tobin cuddles into Christen, resting her head on Christen’s chest. Christen sneaks one hand under Tobin’s shirt to rest it on her bare back, the other one wrapping around her shoulders. 

They’re both silent, but Christen knows that Tobin is still awake as she speaks up again. “Baby?”

“Yeah?” Tobin replies, not moving an inch.

“Thank you for giving me my dream proposal.” Christen moves her hand to draw a random pattern on Tobin’s back, “It couldn’t have been any more perfect.” 

Tobin smiles, lifting her head to kiss Christen’s lips and then resting it down again. “I’m so excited to have you by my side for the rest of my life.” 

“Thank you for choosing me.” Christen whispers as a slight mumble, “You didn’t have to stay, you know.” 

Tobin picks her head up, furrowing her eyebrows as she looks at her. “Babe-” 

Christen shakes her head, wanting a chance to explain before Tobin cuts in to defend herself. “I just mean with everything. Us being friends at the start and risking our friendship, me having dated a crazy ex that made me not just scared to date but more vulnerable at times too, my parents, not speaking to my sisters, the car crash...Just all of it, you never had to say, but you still did.”

“I did.” Tobin nods as if to confirm her point, “Because I love you.” 

“I don’t want to date your parents or your ex, so they don’t affect me. Sure, I wish things would have been different.” She admits, “I wish people would have always treated you the way you deserve to be treated and I wish your parents would still be in your life, so you could feel that you aren’t missing that part in your life, but I’d never leave because of that.” 

“I just want you. No one else, and nothing else, just  _ you. _ The truest, realest and most vulnerable version of you, because that’s the one I want to know everything about, and protect, and love.” Tobin looks her in the eyes, “Every day I learn something new about that version, and I probably always will, but I want to. I want to know you like no one else and I want to know everything about you, from everything on the forefront to the feelings you’d normally not tell anyone.” 

“I want to know everything about you too.” Christen smiles. 

“Babe, I know that if the roles were reversed, you would have stayed too. You would have made the exact same decisions as me, and probably even better ones at times. I just want to be by your side and as long as I get to do that, we’ll get through anything that comes our way.” 

“Me too...I want to be by your side forever.” She holds Tobin a little closer, “I trust you with everything, Tobs.” 

“So do I.” Tobin nods, “Thinking about that still scares me sometimes, because I’ve never really opened up to anyone - especially the amount I’ve opened up to you - but I just want to tell you everything, all of the time.” 

“You don’t have to be scared.” Christen promises her, “I’ll never judge you for your opinions or actions or anything like that. I’m here to support you, and help you, and encourage you, and help you find your footing sometimes, not drag you down.” 

“I know.” Tobin whispers, pecking Christen’s lips and nuzzling back into her. “Thank you.” 

\-------

One thing Christen discovers the following days is that a glass of alcohol, combined with it being Thanksgiving and being surrounded by love, easily leads to her posting a rather coupley photo of her and Tobin on Instagram. 

Somehow, the picture that Tyler took - of Christen having one arm around Tobin’s neck, Tobin’s hands on her waist, and both of them having big smiles on their faces with eyes for no one but each other - made its way onto her grid. 

**_Beyond thankful for you, every single day._ **

**_kelleyohara :_ ** _ You’re obviously more thankful for me, right? _

**_alexmorgan13 :_ ** _ Hate to admit it, but this is pretty cute! _

**_julieertz :_ ** _ I love your love. So thankful for our friendship.  _

**_kmewis19 :_ ** _ Happy thanksgiving you two. I love you both! _

**_tsparkle00 :_ ** _ So you post it on Instagram and I don’t even get credit for taking this? Wow, I feel betrayed. _

**_sarahh45 :_ ** _ My favorites!!! _

**_perryabrown :_ ** _ I love you guys big time. _

**_katieheath98 :_ ** _ We’re so thankful to have you in our family! _

**_channingpress :_ ** _ ❤️❤️❤️ _

It can’t have been more than three hours of her posting the picture before she receives a text. 

**Charles Williams :** Excuse me

**Christen Press :** You’re excused? 

**Charles Williams :** Why didn’t I know that you’re dating someone?

**Christen Press :** Whoops?

**Charles Williams :** I was expecting all of the details, not ‘whoops’

**Christen Press :** I’m sorry?

**Charles Williams :** Can I ask Stace or is she still not in contact with you guys?

**Christen Press :** Nope, she’s definitely not speaking to us. She wouldn’t know anything anyway, apart from the fact that I’m in a relationship. 

**Charles Williams :** Well I’d like to know it all! Is this new news or old news?

Christen realizes that he must be referring to her Instagram post for earlier. 

It wasn’t that she never posts pictures of her and Tobin, but so far the only grid posts she’s put up have either been group pictures or ones where the picture is no different than one she’d post with a friend, unlike the closeness of this one. 

Aside from Christen rarely tagging anyone in her pictures anyway, Tobin’s account is private too and only has one or two pictures posted where it’s clear that they’re a couple, saving the more cheesy and affectionate ones for themselves. She has one with the Eiffel Tower in the background, Christen kissing her cheek; and the other one is of both of them dressed up and in front of the Christmas tree at Perry’s house - arms wrapped around each other with the caption :  **_Merry Christmas from me and mine to you and yours._ **

They don’t tend to comment on each other’s posts either, usually just liking them and bringing them up in person if they would have commented something. They want to keep their relationship private, not feeling the need to post private pictures, when they’re happy together and can just keep them to themselves. 

In Christen’s mind, the whole of her Instagram doesn’t need to know about her relationship. It’s hers and Tobin’s and no one else's. She doesn’t want people’s opinions, comments and likes on her love life - even if the amount of posts of the two of them are slowly starting to increase, now that she’s officially reached the point of accepting her parents’ reaction and just deciding to let people talk if they want to talk. 

It’s provided her with a completely different mindset, so now when she does post something, then she’s always clear in her mind if anyone decides to be rude.

Someone doesn’t think they’ll last? Great, she can’t wait to prove them wrong. Someone thinks one of them would cheat or be unfaithful to the other? Great, they can watch them shut the other people down on rare occasions of someone coming up to them. That doesn’t change - it stays the same when they’re out together and when they’re out separately. They wouldn’t be in a serious relationship together if they are interested in other people. Someone doesn’t like her or Tobin? Great, she’ll show them where the unfollow button is. 

She doesn’t need these types of opinions which are always going to exist, whether they’re said out loud or someone just thinks them. She doesn’t waste time on people that don’t like her, she has too many good people around her to pay attention to them. 

Christen just wants to embrace her happy and healthy relationship, and posting heaps about it would feel like trying to fix something that isn’t broken, since they’re both not massive fans of social media anyway. 

Neither of them have ever had an issue with someone not knowing that they’re dating or trying to make a move, not even blinking an eyes in another direction. It doesn’t even come to their mind, which leads to both of them being completely oblivious about it sometimes. They’re only human, so of course that same obliviousness can sometimes lead to small occurrences of jealousy, but it’s so rare that they don’t even count it. 

When they take a moment to think about it in those situations, they both know that there’s no need to be jealous. No one is ever going to take their place, no matter how hard they’d try - although so far people have just left them alone as soon as they found out they were in a relationship with each other. 

For them, the million posts and tagging the other feels unnecessary. They’re not bothered when their friends do it, letting them live their own lives and have their own relationships, but as a couple they don’t find that it’s something they do much. This might change over time, when it starts getting more difficult to see their family so often throughout the year so they want to keep them updated too, or when they’re together for longer and longer, but for now they like it the way it is. 

There’s been quite a few pictures of them on their Instagram stories, some of just the other person and others of both of them together, but she knows how easy it is to miss someone’s stories - especially since Charlie, just like the rest of her family, doesn’t go on social media that much. 

**Christen Press :** We’ve been together for two years now.

**Charles Williams :** Nice, very nice. Tell me more…

**Christen Press :** I can’t deal with you!!!

**Charles Williams :** Oh, come on! What’s she called? You’re really giving me close to nothing here.

Christen doesn’t fail to notice how casually Charlie just added  _ she  _ into the conversation, smiling at herself when she reads the sentence again. 

**Christen Press :** Tobin.

**Charles Williams :** CHRISTEN, GIVE ME MORE THAN ONE WORD ANSWERS.

**Christen Press :** Okay, okay! Jeez.

**Christen Press :** She’s called Tobin and we work together. She’s from New Jersey, we’re the same age and we just got engaged this summer. 

**Charles Williams :** YOU’RE ENGAGED? CHRISTEN WTF, HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?

**Incoming call :** Charles Williams 

Christen shakes her head with a laugh when she sees the name appear on the screen from where her phone is lying on the table. Tyler, who’s sitting opposite her, must have spotted it too. 

“Say hi to Charlie for me!” Tyler calls to her as she stands up, wanting to take the call away from everyone else. 

“Tyler says hi.” She chuckles down the line before tucking her chair in and walking outside. 

“Christen, I can’t believe this.” Charles laughs with shock after Christen leaves the room. “Please explain why the heck I haven’t heard about this.” 

“Are you by yourself?” Christen wonders, knowing that they’ll be spending thanksgiving with her parents. 

“Yeah, I just went outside.” Charles hums. 

She lets out a deep sigh, telling him everything - from coming out to her parents, to her and Tobin meeting and starting to date, to coming out to her sisters and their engagement. 

If she sheds a stream of silent tears when recalling the last few times she spoke to her parents, then no one needs to know about it. 

“They fucking did what?” His eyes go wide, almost wanting to ask Christen to repeat the full story. 

“It’s messed up, I know.” She admits, him clearly hearing that she’s upset and deciding to move away from talking about Stacy and Cody. “What’s Tobin like?” 

An instant smile makes its way onto Christen’s face, “She’s amazing! She treats me so well and I love her so much.” 

“I’m really happy for you.” He tells her with honesty. “Thanks!” 

“When do I get to meet her?” Charles asks right away, Christen being a bit taken aback by the question. 

“Uhm, whenever you’re in LA.” She offers, unsure what else to say.

“I’m staying for a couple weeks after Thanksgiving to spend some time with Gran, could I come over then?” 

“You can come at any time.” Christen doesn’t hesitate to agree, “I’ll speak to Tobin about when we’re free, but you’re more than welcome to spend a couple of nights at ours if you want.” 

“I’m all for it if that’s no bother.” He eagerly agrees too. “You’re never any bother, Char!” 

“How’s your mom?” Christen asks now that they’d settled on that. 

“She’s good, she was asking about you earlier so I can’t wait to tell her all of this.” 

Christen laughs, looking back inside through the glass doors and realizing she’s been outside for quite a while. She spots Tobin walking towards the doors, presumably looking for her after having disappeared a while ago now. “I better go back inside, but we can arrange something once I’m back home?” 

“Okay. Bye, Chris.” 

“Bye!” She returns as she hangs up the phone. 

Christen takes a deep breath, another path of tears making their way down before she can stop them. It all gets a little overwhelming sometimes and she still doesn’t know how she feels about the situation with her parents. 

There are so many emotions - anger, sadness, emptiness - but at the same time, she’s just confused. 

She’s confused about how people can feel that way, about how  _ her  _ parents can turn from loving people to not wanting to speak to her, and about how someone could have so much hatred stocked inside of them. 

“Hey, babe. Everything okay?” Tobin wonders as she walks through the doors, hearing that Christen isn’t on the phone anymore. 

“Yeah.” Christen replies, a little choked up. 

Tobin moves closer, now being able to see the tears in the darkness of the late evening, pulling Christen into a hug. She clings onto Tobin’s shoulders, hugging her tightly and a small sob escaping her lips now that she is in Tobin’s arms. 

“You’re okay. I’ve got you.” She runs her hand up and down Christen’s back, trying to soothe her. Tobin turns her head, leaving light kisses on Christen’s temple. 

“Sorry.” Christen announces when she eventually pulls back, looking at Tobin. She feels Tobin wipe her tears, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. 

“Don’t apologize, babe.” She shakes her head right away, “What happened?” 

“Nothing. I just explained what happened with my parents and I guess it got me more emotional than I expected.” Christen admits, usually dealing with the situation well and rarely even thinking about it. 

Tobin lifts Christen’s chin, leaving a soft kiss on her lips. “You’re allowed to be upset about it. I could probably count the amount of times you’ve cried about this on less than both hands. You don’t ever have to feel ashamed or embarrassed for feeling emotional about this.” 

“I know, but some people don’t even have a family, so why should I have the right to be upset about this when there’s people that have it so much worse.” 

“Okay, but you’re not people. You’re Christen Press.” Tobin smirks as she adds  _ soon to be Heath _ , making Christen chuckle too. “Babe, you care so much about everyone, including the people that aren’t as fortunate as us. You help the students at school whose families don’t have the money for tutoring or training at a club or even finding scholarships for ones that are nowhere near being able to pay for College, by just finding different ways of supporting them. You’re amazing and have always been grateful for the life you have and the opportunities it brings you, so trust me when I say that it’s okay. You’re the last person that should feel guilty about something like this.” 

“You can be as upset as you want and you can be as angry as you want. Just feel whatever you feel. You don’t ever have to cover up your emotions in front of me.” Tobin finishes, pulling Christen into another hug. 

The younger woman wraps her arms around Tobin’s waist, hiding her face in Tobin’s neck. Tobin lifts her head, kissing Christen’s temple and resting her lips there as she mumbles into her skin. “You’re the strongest person I know.” 

They stay there for a moment, just taking in the closeness, until Christen’s phone vibrates. She pulls it out of her jeans pocket, reading the text.

**Charles Williams :** Btw can I request an invite to the wedding? 

Christen smiles as she shows Tobin the message, telling her about the plans they’d made over the phone. 

**Christen Press :** I think that might be doable. 

\-------

Charles walks back inside the house, joining them in the living room again. “I just found out Christen’s in a relationship…” 

“Did you not know?” Lillian wonders, tilting her head. 

“Um, no. No one told me.” He’s never been one to take negativity from other people. He’s like Fran in this sense, not giving Cody and Stacy the chance to avoid this topic. 

“You weren’t missing out on much.” Stacy scoffs, rolling her eyes at the sudden fuss that’s being made over Christen. 

Lillian and Arlie ignore the comment Stacy makes. 

“I’ve heard some sweet stories about her from Fran.” Arlie mentions, “She even asked Fran, Ty and Chan for their blessing on marriage.” 

Stacy’s eyes go wide, “Oh god, she’s not wanting to propose to Christen, is she?” 

“She already did. I think their wedding is next year.” Lillian mentions with slight confusion. She knows that they don’t talk to their children anymore, but she thought they’d at least have enough of an interest to ask Fran for regular updates. 

“How brainwashed did Christen get? One second they start dating, the next they move in together and now they’re engaged.” She scoffs, “I’m telling you, five months of marriage and they’ll be done. It’ll be some sort of messy divorce, which they'll have to waste money on just to then sell the house too. They don’t love each other.” 

“Fran seems to really like her, do you not?” Arlie mentions it in a casual tone, knowing that this is the only way to get answers out of the pair. 

“We don’t really know her.” Cody admits, “We met her once, but never spoke to her or got introduced.” 

“Why not? What’s wrong with her?” Lillian questions, having assumed that they at least know Tobin. 

“First of all, she’s a woman!” Stacy starts, “We had so many hopes and plans for Christen, and she had so much potential, just for her to date a woman.” 

“Oh, so is that what this is all about?” Lillian realizes what’s going on, like it’s all suddenly making sense. “That’s why you’re not in contact with them anymore?” 

“It’s not my fault that Christen is so desperate for a relationship, that she just takes the first person that shows some sort of interest.” 

“Woah!” Charles cuts in, “I don’t see it that way at all.”

“It’s not my place to comment on your parenting, but you’re making a big mistake.” Arlie looks between both of them. 

Charles nods in agreement. “She seemed really happy and relaxed on the phone. She wasn’t stressed or anything, she was just her typical old self like she was when she was younger.” And it was true, because apart from her being upset in certain parts of the conversation, which was expected, she just sounded so proud and happy to be talking about Tobin and to be telling someone about their relationship. 

“Who’s she spending Thanksgiving with this year?” Arlie wonders, not being able to remember if she already knows this. 

“Tobin’s parents are holding a big thanksgiving this year by a lake in Texas, but last year they just celebrated at Tobin’s sister’s house.” Lillian explains, “They’ve invited close to everyone this year though - Fran, Will and Mikel’s parents and grandparents, Tobin’s siblings with their families, their cousins...you get the idea.” 

“Tobin’s siblings have kids?” Charles asks her to confirm, clearly not having collected enough of this type of information from Christen on the phone. 

Lillian nods, pulling up her and Fran’s thread of text message on her phone. “I got a heap of photos from the other day.” 

She loads up some of the ones Fran sent her, showing them the most recent ones. The first one is a group picture of everyone in attendance, which they took on Tobin’s camera thanks to the self timer. The second one is of Christen on the outdoor sofa, Kayden and Ellie both leaning into her with Christen’s arms around them. The third one is of Christen and Tobin with Fran, Cindy and Jeff. 

She has the phone turned so Stacy and Cody see the pictures too, neither of them leaving any comments so far though. 

Lillian continues scrolling, there’s some of Tyler and Channing, with the next picture of Christen being one of her and Cindy having an arm wrapped around each other and smiling widely. 

“Who’s that?” Stacy wonders, feeling slightly lost at how many unfamiliar faces are in the pictures. It’s strange to see strangers clearly having a close relationship with her daughters and mother-in-law. 

“Tobin’s mom.” Lillian answers, having received a full description of who’s who in every picture Fran sent her. 

Stacy bites the inside of her cheek, unsure how to feel. It almost makes her frown to think about not knowing Tobin’s mother, someone who looks so friendly and bubbly in the pictures. All of these make her forget for a split second and wish she was there too. Stacy’s always loved family time and she can’t help but smile at how much fun they all seem to be having in the photographs. She forgets about it quickly though. Tobin and Christen will probably be divorced before she’d have a chance to  _ really  _ get to know Tobin’s mother and she wouldn’t want to have anything to do with Tobin anyway. 

“That’s Tobin’s sisters. They’re the ones that have the kids.” Lillian recalls, showing the picture of Christen, Perry and Katie all sharing a blanket once it got cooler outside, the trio laughing at how huddled together they are on the outdoor seat. 

Lillian knows exactly what she’s doing. She knows she could have shown one picture and the job would have been done by showing a photo that was linked to their conversation, but what would be the fun in that? Now that she knows the actual reason behind the loss of contact, she’ll rub it in as much as she needs to. 

The last picture she shows them is one where they’re playing a game whilst sitting on the dock. Tobin and Sarah are on the same team and Christen and Jeffrey are on the other team. Christen’s laughing at something Jeffrey said, both of them waiting for Tobin and Sarah to take their turn. 

“Hey, he’s a pro soccer player.” Cody mentions when he sees the picture, having recognized him from when he gets a chance to watch the games. 

“Is he?” Charles asks for his confirmation.

“Yeah, he plays for Seattle and the National Team.” Cody nods, “He’s great.” 

“He’s Tobin’s brother.” Lillian casually adds into the conversation, watching as Cody gives her a surprised look. 

“I think Will might have mentioned that at Channing’s wedding actually.” Stacy chips in, having heard every word of what they said about Tobin, even if she’d pretended not to pay attention. 

Cody simply raises his eyebrows, unsure how to respond.

\-------

By the time they’re back home in California, Christen and Tobin had already arranged a time to see Charles - having him stay at theirs four a couple of nights the following week. 

That’s how Christen somehow finds herself stuck at school, in some afternoon meetings with Kristie and Julie, instead of spending time introducing Charles and Tobin. 

He’s still arrived at their house, and he’s still staying at theirs, but Christen isn’t there to break the ice. She’s chewing her lip nervously whilst waiting for Julie to come back into the meeting room, just hoping that everything goes well.

“What’s the matter with you?” Kristie raises an eyebrow, gently tapping Christen’s foot under the table. 

“My cousin is meeting Tobin for the first time today - he’s staying with us for the next few days - and I’m not there to introduce them, so I just hope everything goes well and that they get along.” She picks her nail, making Kristie continue. “How old is he?” 

“Nineteen. He’s taking a gap year before starting College so he’s staying in LA for a few weeks with my Gran.” 

“Chris.” Kristie tries her best not to laugh, seeing Christen’s genuine concern. “Tobin is Tobin. I don’t think I know a single person that doesn’t get along with her. She’s going to be just fine and they’ll have a great time and then you’ll be wondering why you worried in the first place.” 

“I know.” Christen sighs as she leans back in her chair. “Tobin’s amazing, I’m just worried after everything that’s happened. I just feel the need to protect her from all of that.” 

“I think we should all be the ones protecting  _ you  _ from it.” Kristie points out as if it should have been obvious. “She has such a caring personality that I don’t have a single doubt about this situation, but even if it doesn’t work out, Tobin can handle herself. She can protect herself and stand up for herself when she has to.” 

Julie walks back into the room at that moment, ending Kristie and Christen’s conversation. 

“She’s fine, I promise.” Kristie finishes off, internally hoping that Tobin really is fine and she hasn’t just made that up. 

By the time Christen gets out of the meeting, two hours later, she has over fifteen unread text messages from Charles. She unlocks her phone, selecting their text message thread. 

**Charles Williams :** OMG, CHRIS!

**Charles Williams :** I love her! She’s awesome.

Underneath are a heap of photographs from what they’d been doing since Tobin came home. 

There were ones of them longboarding by the path next to the beach, ones of them surfing and of course, ones of them in the surf shop - a place Tobin could live in if she’d have the option to. 

**Charles Williams :** You didn’t tell me she has a longboard? And loves taking pictures with her camera? And that she could teach me how to surf? Girl, where have you been hiding this information. 

Christen rolls her eyes with a laugh, relieved that everything seems to be going well. 

**Christen Press :** Sending me those whilst I’m in a meeting is just cruel. I’m so happy you guys get on though!

**Charles Williams :** Get on? Dude, she’s my new best friend.

**Christen Press :** I have to admit, she’s the best.

**Chris :** We just got done, so I’ll be home soon, baby. I hope everything’s okay with you two. 

**Tobs :** Babe, stop worrying. We’re fine and get on great. See you soon, I love you.

Christen arrives at home twenty minutes later, after gathering all of her stuff and locking up the office. She pulls into their driveway next to Tobin’s car, putting it in park and getting her bags out. 

She unlocks the front door, dropping her bags next to it and throwing her sneakers off her feet. 

“Here she is.” Charles calls out with a hint of teasing in his voice, Christen walking out from behind the short wall that separates the entry by the front door from the rest of the open space downstairs.

Christen grins, opening her arms and giving him a tight hug when they reach each other. “When did you get so tall?” She chuckles, noticing that Charles is now taller than her, unlike the last time she saw him in person.

She moves around the island after, leaning in to peck Tobin’s lips. “Hey, you.” Tobin smiles squeezing her hip, “Hey.”

She drops her head onto Tobin’s shoulder. “I’m  _ so  _ tired.” Christen announces through a yawn, looking around and noticing the food in the oven. “You guys could have stayed out longer, you know. I could have helped you cook dinner.” 

“You just came from two meetings, we’re fine.” Charles announces with a shrug. 

Tobin looks over to the front door, suddenly moving away from Christen. “Excuse me, Miss Press...what is this?” She points at the shoes in the middle of the floor, moving on to point at the bag that was simply dumped by the door. “Babe...if I would have done that, I wouldn’t be alive right now.” 

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Christen rolls her eyes with a groan. 

“She’s not wrong!” Charles laughs, “We all know you’d freak out.” 

Christen narrows her eyes at the pair siding against her. “I wouldn’t  _ freak  _ out.” She dramatically emphasizes.

“Okay, you’d just tell the person off for it.” Charles starts, murmuring the next sentence under his breath. “Like, a lot.”

Christen shoots him a threatening look, making Charles burst out laughing. 

“You know, since I’m  _ such  _ a nice person, I’ll put them away for you.” Tobin tells her in a smug tone, moving to place Christen’s shoes on the shoe rack. She leans Christen’s bag on the side of the wall next to the door, knowing she’ll need it tomorrow anyway. 

“Wow, that’s really  _ such  _ a nice gesture!” Charles nods sarcastically. 

Christen sighs deeply as she drops her face into her hands. “Why do I even bother putting up with you two?” 

“Because you love us?” He gives her a convincing grin. 

“I’m reconsidering that.” Christen jokes as she walks upstairs to change her clothes. 

She laughs when she gets a text from Kristie just as she opens her bedroom door, pulling the phone out of her pocket. 

**Kristie Mewis :** How’s it going? Everything okay with them? 

**Christen Press :** I’m being ganged up on…

**Kristie Mewis :** Lol. You’re by yourself for that one.

**Christen Press :** I might have to come and sleep at your place tonight.

**Kristie Mewis :** At least they’re getting on well, just like I told you they would.

**Christen Press :** I’m so relieved that they are!! I’m not sure what I would have done if they didn’t.

**Kristie Mewis :** Go on...you can say it. It won’t hurt anyone.

**Christen Press :** You were right??

**Kristie Mewis :** I did tell you that I’m always right.

**Christen Press :** Don’t let that head grow too big.

\-------

“Hey.” Kelley announces as she mirrors Christen’s position by leaning against the desk too. Charlie’s left their house again this morning, going to stay at Fran’s with the promise of meeting up with them again next week. Him and Tobin have already made plans to go on a hike together with their cameras, sharing their love for photography. 

“How’s your day been?” Christen asks as she lifts her eyes off the floor and looks at her, not having had a chance to speak to her friend yet today. 

“Good, but I came here to tell you about my plans.” She quickly changes the topic of the conversation. 

Tobin looks up at her from her desk, “Plans for what?” 

“You see, I checked my diary last night after receiving some interesting post last week, and it appears that I’m extremely busy on the twenty-seventh of July!” Kelley explains, continuing before they can interrupt. “I had down that I’m taking a shower that day, having a bottle of beer, probably sleeping since that’s always useful, walking up the stairs at least once, eating some food, drinking some water too since I sadly can’t live off of beer, and maybe brushing my hair too.” 

“Wow, that does sound very busy.” Christen nods with a sarcastic look, “You’re not going to have much time for anything else.” 

“That’s what I’m getting at.” Kelley eagerly responds, “How am I supposed to fit all of that into twenty-four hours?” 

“With great difficulty.” Tobin chips in with a sarcastic tone.

“Yeah, but then this crazy thing happened.” She continues, being impressed with her own acting skills of staying serious. “I got an invite for some wedding, so I’ll need your advice on whether to cancel all of my plans for the wedding.” 

Christen tilts her head, “That’s a big responsibility. Tell me about the wedding.” 

“It’s from these two people I barely know. I mean I don’t know where it is yet and all of that, but they sent out save the dates which was pretty considerate with my busy schedule.” 

“Yeah, certainly seems like you needed that save the date.” Christen nods, casually shrugging her shoulders. “Well, it sounds like it’s gonna be a pretty great wedding to me.” 

“But didn’t you hear?” Kelley wonders, leaning in closer and whispering. 

Christen raises her eyebrows at her, “What didn’t I hear?”

“They’re both women.” Kelley jokes, “Did you know that stuff happens? Crazy right!” 

“Wow, that is pretty crazy.” Christen rolls her eyes, “So are you going to take  _ your girlfriend  _ as a plus one or are you too busy to go?” 

“I guess I can make some time for them.” Kelley shrugs, “I’d feel bad if their wedding would be boring because I wasn’t there.” 

Christen nods with understanding, only starting to laugh when Tobin gives them both a dumb look and laughs.

“You know, I heard that this person called Christen Press wants you as her bridesmaid, so you might want to rethink your busy day anyway.” Christen changes her face to a more serious one again, “I’m not sure who she is, but I heard she’s the person getting married.” 

“Well in that case, it’s starting to lean more towards a definite yes” Kelley smiles, looking at her and deciding the joke was over and done with. She leans in closer, whispering to her. “Wait, seriously?” 

“Obviously!” Christen nods with a smile, “You technically weren’t supposed to find out for another two days, but you don’t know how hard it’s been to keep that a secret.” 

“Pressi is getting married, what the heck.” Kelley pulls Christen into a tight hug, “Just remember, that if Tobin’s ever annoying you or you need to file for a divorce, I’ve got your back. I’ve always got my boxing gloves ready if they’re needed.”

“Hey!” Tobin swats her arm, not even bothering turning towards her.

“I’m kidding, Tobito...sorta.” She mumbles quietly. 

“You won’t have to get your boxing gloves out for me, I promise.” 

Kelley raises her eyebrows with wide eyes, “Oh, is that you saying you’re scared? Because I can get them now if I need to.” She turns her head towards Christen, “Pressi...do I need to get them?” 

“No, Kel.” Christen rolls her eyes at the duo. “No one’s going to be filing for a divorce or needing to face tiny Kelley with boxing gloves.”

“I’m going to take offence from that, since I could beat The Rock, but I’ll let it go for today. Just don’t let it happen again.” 

“You talk so much gibberish.” Tobin laughs at her friend, making Kelley narrow her eyes. 

“Wait, can I say a speech at your wedding?” Kelley requests, Christen instantly smiling at her genuine excitement. “I promise it’ll be an actual one and not a stupid Kelley version. Pleaseeee?” 

She looks over at Tobin who just shrugs with a smile to indicate she’s up for it. 

“If you want to, then of course you can.” Christen approves, watching Kelley jump up. 

“Yes!” Kelley squeals, “I’m going to start writing it today. I’ve gotta get it perfect.” 

Christen shakes her head with a smile as Kelley walks away with a bounce in her step. She’s  _ so  _ lucky to have a friend like that - someone who’s been with her through everything and is still willing to be by her side. 

\-------

“We’re taking separate cars today, right?” Tobin double checks as she bites into the bagel in front of her. 

“I think it’s easiest that way.” Christen nods to confirm her question, moving on to remind her of today's events. “I have a meeting with Kristie right after I finish, and then the department leader one, which could take quite a while.”

“You have one with Kristie? I thought it was only one today.” Tobin raises her eyebrow, simply not being able to recall it. 

“I was supposed to, but she wants to go over some stuff with me before so we can prepare what she has to go over in the actual meeting.” Christen explains as Tobin nods slowly. 

Christen takes a sip of her orange juice before speaking up again. “Tyler’s got another scan today.”

“I was the text earlier. She should be finding out the gender today, shouldn’t she?” 

Christen nods, “She’s supposed to, yeah.” She confirms. “Ty was so nervous when I spoke to her last night though. She just seems really scared that something is wrong.” 

Tobin smiles sadly, “Will is away too, so going by herself can’t be calming those nerves.” 

“I know.” Christen agrees, “She’ll be okay - I know she will.” 

Tobin is standing next to Christen later that day when Tyler calls her, watching as Christen hesitates for a short moment, but has to decline the call when she sees the time. 

The whole reason why Tyler called was because she thought speaking to Christen might calm her nerves a little. She’s not sure why she feels this way - she didn’t for her previous scan. Maybe it was just the thought of having to handle bad news by herself, without her husband being there. 

Will had tried to be there, he really did, but there was no way he could get out of this week of work unless he wanted to lose his job. With an unborn child on the way and them trying to sort the house out, losing his job certainly wasn’t a risk they could take. 

Christen opts to send Tyler a quick message, wanting to check how urgent the call is. She knows that Tyler isn’t set to leave for her appointment for a few hours, so it can’t be about that.

**Christen :** I’m just about to go into a meeting, so I can’t call right now, Ty. Everything okay or do you need me to call you back?

**Tyler :** It’s nothing urgent. Don’t worry about it, I’ll call you when I get home tonight.

It makes Tobin realize just how nervous Tyler really is. She laughs at the fact that she’s gotten to know the Press family so well, that she can recognise that through a simple text message. 

When Tobin gets home, she starts preparing some dinner. She places it into the fridge once it’s ready, leaving it there so they could reheat it later. 

**Tobs :** Babe, I’m going out for a few hours but in case I’m not home by the time you get back, there’s some dinner in the fridge for later. You can wait for me or eat it alone depending on how hungry you’re feeling, I don’t mind. I love you.

Tobin checks that the oven in the kitchen is off, switching off the lights and getting her car out of the garage after locking the doors. 

Twenty minutes later, and she’s knowing on a black front door. It pulls open a short moment later, the woman looking at her with surprise. 

“Tobin? What are you doing here?” She tilts her head, trying to think of an explanation. 

“We’re going to your appointment!” Tobin announces, pointing towards her Jeep. 

Tyler furrows her eyebrows, having not expected this at all today. 

“I’m not letting you go by yourself if you’re nervous!” Tobin states as if it should be obvious, “This is going to be huge news, so you deserve to have someone there with you.” 

“Tobin-” Tyler starts before being cut off. “I meant everything that I said at Thanksgiving! Chris and I are here with you both. No matter what you need, we’ll be there.” 

She opens her arms, pulling Tobin into a tight hug. She squeezes her eyes shut, a few tears rolling down her cheeks. 

“Sorry...my hormones and emotions don’t mix well.” Tyler sniffs, making Tobin laugh. She runs her hand up and down her upper back, trying to comfort her a little. “I always have a shoulder free to cry on, so feel free to cry all you want.” 

“Thank you!” Tyler sighs, pulling away. 

“You don’t have to thank me.” Tobin shakes her head sternly, “I’ve gotta be here to find out if I’m going to be spoiling a little girl or boy too.” 

Tyler laughs, shaking her head when she thinks about what she’s getting herself into. She already knows that they’ll all spoil her child beyond her liking, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

“By the way, I don’t want you to think that Will is a bad person for being away today.” Tyler mentions as Tobin pulls out of the driveway, wanting to explain the situation. “No way, I never thought that! It didn’t even cross my mind, Ty.” 

She nods, starting to explain. “He’s been working more hours recently as I’m leaving my job. I’m going to be a stay-at-home Mom for at least the first year, and then I’m looking to work remotely until we have a second child and they’re both at school.” 

“Look at you! Planning a second child before your first one is even born.” Tobin teases, smirking in her direction. 

“Oh, so you don’t have a plan of how many kids you want to have in the future?” She raises an eyebrow at her, indicating she won’t believe her if she answers anything but yes. 

“Kids? What are kids?” Tobin jokes, “Never heard of them.”   
  


Tyler starts laughing, turning more serious before she continues. “Do you actually want kids in the future? I don’t think I’ve ever asked you that, I just kind of assumed based on how good you are with your niece and nephews.” 

“Definitely!” Tobin nods eagerly, “I  _ adore  _ kids. I can’t wait to be a Mom one day and have a family.”

“I didn’t think Christen would be marrying someone that doesn’t, since she’s wanted a family since the day she was born, but I still had to check.” Tyler shrugs with a smile, “You’ll be an awesome Mom someday, Tob.” 

“Thanks.” Tobin gives her a sincere smile, “Just wait and see how lucky your little one is going to be to have you as their mother.” She tells Tyler as she puts the car in park, opening her car door. 

When they get inside, Tyler lies down on the table, Tobin sitting down on the chair next to it. She places a comforting hand on Tyler’s arm as the OBGYN performs the ultrasound. 

“Who have we got with us today?” She asks as she helps Tyler get a little more comfortable. 

“This is Tobin, she’s my sister’s fiancée!” Tyler introduces her as Tobin sticks her hand out to shake it.

“Could the hubby not make it today?” She questions, remembering her coming with a slightly taller male last time.

Tyler shakes her head, “He had to go away for the week because of work, so this one turned up on my doorstep and didn’t give me much of a chance of going by myself.” 

The OBGYN laughs, “That’s the kind of future sister-in-law I love to hear about.” 

“Oh, I got  _ very  _ lucky with Tobin. Trust me.” Tyler tells her, making Tobin blush lightly. 

“ _ Anyway… _ ” Tobin jokes, wanting to move the conversation away from herself. “I have to make sure I’m the favorite aunt and godmother, so I’m just making sure I’m a step ahead of everyone else.” She jokes.

The OBGYN and Tyler laugh at this too as she preps Tyler for the ultrasound.

Tobin can’t help the smile that makes its way onto her face when she sees the baby through the screen, feeling fascinated every time at the miracle of life. 

“Everything is looking great and healthy!” She announces, causing Tyler to let out a relieved sigh. 

“So are we finding out the gender today or is it going to be a surprise?” 

“I’m too impatient for that.” Tyler laughs, “I want to find out, please.” 

She points at the various features that are starting to become more visible on the scan, explaining everything to Tyler. 

“Well, it looks like you have a perfectly healthy baby boy on the way.” Her eyes flick over to Tyler and Tobin, wanting to see their reaction. 

A wide smile screeps onto Tobin’s face as she waits for Tyler’s reaction, it being nothing but a tear and smile. 

“Hormones…” She laughs once again, Tobin squeezing her arm. 

Tobin leans down to hug Tyler, who pulls her in tightly out of excitement. “You have no idea how happy I am for you.” 

After eventually getting the print outs so she could show them to Will, the OBGYN leaves so Tyler can put her shoes back on and they can be on their way. 

She stands up, pulling Tobin into an unexpected hug. 

“I’m going to have a son, Tobin!” Tyler almost bounces on her feet. “Me and Will are going to be parents!” 

“Yeah! Yeah, you are!” Tobin beams at how happy Tyler is, laughing at the bounce she has in her step. 

She spends the whole car ride telling Tobin about exciting plans she has and mentioning the fact that she’s having a son so many times, that Tobin loses count. She wouldn’t change it for anything though - more than happy to sit there and listen to Tyler ramble on about this for hours. She chips in a few words every now and then, but lets Tyler talk for most of it. 

\-------

Christen is sitting at the kitchen table when Tobin comes home, focusing on the screen of her laptop. The minute she hears the keys turn and the door open, she looks towards the door with a smile. 

“Hey, baby.” She calls out to inform Tobin of her whereabouts. Christen smiles when Tobin walks towards her after taking her shoes off. “Where have you been?” 

Tobin walks over to her, placing her hands on the back of Christen’s chair. Christen goofily tilts her head back, looking up at Tobin as she leans down to kiss her. 

“I had some things to take care of.” Tobin explains, making Christen raise an eyebrow at her. “I’ve got something for you though.”

She walks over to the jacket she’d just hung up, pulling something out of the pocket. She returns a moment later, placing one of the sonogram print-outs in front of her. Tyler had gotten a spare one, which Tobin asked if she could give it to Christen as a memory. 

It clicks for Christen right away, her seeing Tyler’s name written across the top of it. 

“Baby! You did not-” Christen’s jaw drops, turning her body around to look at Tobin. Tobin shrugs with a small smile, as Christen stands up from her chair and flings her arms around Tobin’s shoulders.

She holds on tightly, closing her eyes with a smile. Christen’s head pulls back slightly, her hold on Tobin not getting any less. 

“Gosh, I love you!” Christen emphasises as she kisses Tobin, “How did I get  _ this  _ lucky?” 

“I love you too.” Tobin smiles, not having expected this type of reaction to such a small gesture. 

“If this is how much I love you now, then I can’t imagine how much I’m going to love you in twenty years time.” Christen thinks out loud as she holds Tobin even closer. 

“You better still love me then.” Tobin squeezes her hip. 

“I’ll always love you, no matter how long it’s been.” She looks Tobin right in the eyes, “Everyday I think that it’s impossible to have more love for you, and every day you prove me wrong by making me fall even further in love.” 

Tobin cups her face, pulling her in for a long and soft kiss. 

“Did you already eat?” Tobin wonders when they eventually pull apart, starting to feel hungry. 

Christen shakes her head. “No, I wanted to wait for you.” 

  
Tobin hums, walking over to the fridge and pulling the dish out so she could reheat it. Christen sets the table, getting them both something to drink. 

“How was it at the scan?” Christen digs into her food, looking at Tobin who’s sitting opposite her. 

“Good.” Tobin nods, “The OBGYN seemed nice and she said that the baby is looking healthy.” 

“That’s good.” Her mouth turns into a smile, “Will you tell me if it’s a girl or a boy?”

“Nope!” Tobin insists right away.

“Please?” Christen looks at her with soft eyes, trying to convince Tobin to drop any sort of hint.

“I’m not telling you anything.” Tobin laughs, “No matter how cute you look.” 

“Please...baby?” 

Tobin rolls her eyes, “The baby card isn’t gonna work, babe. You can try all you want.” 

“But-” 

“No buts!” Tobin cuts her off, “It’s not my place to tell you.” 

Christen still won’t give in, instead giving the cute eyes another try. “The last time I checked, we're engaged, so you’re supposed to tell me  _ everything.  _ That’s what people do, you know.” 

“Well, thank God for that! I almost thought you forgot that we’re engaged.” Tobin jokes, making Christen throw her head back with an annoyed groan. “That still doesn’t change the fact that I won’t tell you.” 

“Not even for an  _ early night _ ?” Christen bites her lip, looking Tobin dead in the eyes. “Just think about how much you love making love to me. Think about how it feels to touch me and taste me, just like I get to do the same in return.”

Tobin swallows hard, forcing herself not to get turned on at the words coming out of Christen’s mouth - the rasp in her voice making it even more difficult. 

“And you know, I remember you telling me something you’ve been wanting to try. Maybe tonight would be a good night for that.” Christen continues as it’s getting more and more difficult for Tobin to not give in. She grounds herself, trying to get back to reality and not allows her mind to wander any further. 

“Maybe tonight  _ is _ a good night for that!” Tobin shoots a wink in Christen’s direction. “But I still can’t tell you.” 

“Ugh, fine!” Christen gives her a defeated look, “If sex won’t make you give in, then I don’t know what will.” 

Tobin rolls her eyes with a laugh, knowing Christen will find out soon enough from Tyler anyway. Especially because Tyler is just as bad as Christen in keeping secrets. 

Christen forks up some more of her food, which has been long forgotten about. She moves on from conversation when she knows her attempt has played its course, and she’ll just end up annoying Tobin if she keeps going. 

She puts her dishes in the dishwasher once she finishes eating, hopping up on the kitchen counter whilst Tobin puts her own dishes away too and gets herself a drink. 

“I think those plans for tonight might not be the worst idea.” Christen announces. Tobin looks up at her with a smirk, just knowing that it’s been on Christen’s mind ever since she mentioned it. 

She walks over to the woman, standing in front of her and resting her hands on Christen’s thighs. Christen leans forwards, pecking Tobin’s lips. 

“Oh, really? That’s interesting.” Tobin chuckles at the fact that the look on Christen’s face suggests she’s never had an orgasm in her life, being all too aware that Christen knows exactly what she’s doing right now. “Don’t give me that look. You get  _ plenty  _ of sex and we both know that.” 

“For the record, I like that idea too.” Tobin finishes her sentence as Christen grins. 

\-------

Christen gets her own little idea of teasing Tobin when she goes shopping later that week. Since it’s now a week into December, they both agreed on battling the basement together over the weekend and digging out some Christmas decorations. 

When Tobin comes home on Friday night, after having coached the soccer team without Christen for the day due to her being busy with other work, she is met with something she hadn’t quite expected. 

“Don’t move!” Christen yells from upstairs the minute Tobin opens the door, her looking around with confusion as she stalls in the middle of walking into the house. 

Not even a second later and Christen is jumping into her arms, legs wrapped around Tobin’s waist. Before Tobin can even register what she’s doing, she’s being pulled into a deep kiss. 

Christen kisses her until Tobin’s knees go weak and they’re out of breath, slowly slotting her tongue into Tobin’s mouth throughout.

“That was a nice way to be welcomed home.” Tobin hums against Christen’s lips, letting her back down onto the floor. 

“I love you.” Christen runs her hands down Tobin’s arms, threading her fingers through Tobin’s. “Baby, look up.” 

Tobin does so, spotting the mistletoe hanging above them. She smiles, squeezing Christen’s hands and leaving a short kiss on her lips. 

She walks further into the room, suddenly spotting the mistletoe hanging by the garage door. Looking around, she spots another one by the patio door, in the kitchen, by the staircase and most likely upstairs too. They’re half hanging down, Tobin knowing she just put them up to tease her and that they’ll be down before Channing and Mikel come over tomorrow anyway.

Tobin starts laughing, something Christen catches onto immediately. 

“Maybe I just want kisses?” Christen attempts, waiting to see Tobin’s reaction. 

“I think you get enough kisses as it is.” Tobin raises her eyebrows at the younger woman. 

Christen gives her a slightly offended look in response, “Are you saying that you don’t want to kiss me?” 

“I  _ always  _ want to kiss you.” Tobin winks, making Christen smirk in her direction. 

“Good!” Christen chimes, “Because I always want to kiss you too.” 

“You’re weird.” Tobin softly chuckles as she leans into Christen, feeling the younger woman kiss her temple. 

“Hey!” She shoves Tobin away from her. “That’s rude.” 

\-------

Their Christmas is spent in New Jersey once again, Christen being like a young child all over again when she wakes up to a white Christmas. New Year’s Eve doesn’t look much different for them either, simply enjoying time with family. 

Tyler was showing more and more by the weeks, which Channing and Christen found hilarious when comparing her to pictures of their mom being pregnant. Stacy only showed in her pregnancy with Channing, her other two being close to unrecognisable right up to the end. At first she’d been worried about this during her pregnancy with Tyler, but the doctor reassured her many times that it’s normal to have different sized bumps and that not everyone’s pregnancies stand out a lot. 

Christen, Tobin, Channing and Mikel made it a point to spend as much time as possible with Tyler and Will, wanting Tyler to know that she’s not alone, even if she sometimes feels lost when not having her mother to rely on. 

\-------

“Camping!” Tobin states as she flops down next to Christen on the sofa. Christen turns her head towards her, away from her book and raises an eyebrow. 

“I think we should go camping for Valentine’s Day.” Tobin explains her idea, “We could go the weekend after.” 

Christen pauses for a split second, thinking it over in her head. She’s only ever been camping twice in her life, and both times she was counting down the days until they go home. This time, thinking about going for two nights with Tobin, it doesn’t sound all that bad. 

She won’t have to worry about being cold, she won’t have to worry about getting bored, she certainly won’t have to worry about not having a good time. She always has a good time with Tobin, no matter what it is. It blows her mind every single time, just seeing how Tobin can change her mood like a light switch. She knows her so well that she never struggles to make Christen see the joy and good things on a day-to-day basis. There’s always something that Tobin does to make Christen happy, no matter what it is or what she has to do, she brings out the best side of Christen everyday without fail. 

Christen likes to think that she does the same with Tobin, even if it’s a lot more difficult to find something that Tobin isn’t up for trying or doing. It’s more the little things when the roles are reversed. It might be Tobin’s emotions and feelings towards something, her having a hard day, or her being unsure to take risks and try something new. That’s something where Christen can read Tobin faster than she can blink, instantly knowing how she can help her or just comfort her by making it known that she isn’t alone. 

“Okay...yeah, sure!” Christen shrugs after not even thinking about it for half a minute. 

Tobin gives her a surprised look, her eyes so wide that her forehead wrinkles. 

“What?” Christen starts laughing at the older woman gawking at her. 

Tobin shakes her head to snap back into the moment. “That was way easier than I expected.” 

That’s how they find themselves in the middle of nowhere, in Arizona, four-and-a-half hours away from home. You could ask Christen where she is, but she has no idea. All she sees is nature, one of her favorite things. She’s simply relying on Tobin to somehow know where they are, despite having no service, and get them back to their car on Sunday. 

“I have to admit, I thought you’d be a lot worse to go camping with.” Tobin tells her as they sit down on one of the cliffs half way through their hike. 

“Gee, thanks.” Christen scoffs with a hint of teasing in it, totally knowing what Tobin is referring to. 

“I didn’t mean it like tha-” Tobin starts before Christen cuts her off. “I thought I’d be worse too.” 

Tobin laughs, shaking her head at the younger woman. 

“Water?” Tobin holds the bottle in Christen’s direction after taking a drink from it, who gratefully takes it. 

“It’s so warm today.” Christen comments, lying down onto her back. “I can’t wait for summer.” 

“You’re someone that would be more than willing to live in Dubai-type temperatures.” 

“Uhm, obviously.” Christen closes her eyes, taking in the sun. 

“I have an idea.” Tobin jumps up, standing on her feet again and holding a hand out to help Christen up too. 

“Which is?”

“You’ll see. We just have to head back first.” She taps Christen’s shoe with her own, trying to get the woman to move. 

“Tobin, we just got this far.” Christen groans with annoyance, shaking her head.

“Come on, it’ll be fun. I promise.” Tobin tries to convince her, looking down on the younger woman. 

Christen sighs, “Tobs...no.”

Tobin reaches down, grabbing Christen’s hands and lifting them up. She chuckles, rolling her eyes and sitting up so Tobin can help her onto her feet. 

“How do you have so much energy?” Christen looks at the view again, taking a few pictures with her phone and trying not to think about how long it’s going to take them to walk back. The only thing they’d bothered taking on their little hike was Tobin’s camera and some water. 

When they get back to their tent, they both get changed into some clean clothes and walk the long way down to the river. Towards their tent, there’s a smaller stream, surrounded by nothing but trees. 

Tobin goes straight into the shallow edge of the water, it only reaching up to her knees. She pulls her shorts up a little higher, taking a few more steps into the water. 

“You know what we should do?” Tobin approaches the question when Christen takes her shoes off too and walks towards her. 

Christen gives her a questioning look, “What?” 

Tobin lets her eyes scan over Christen’s body, slowly making their way down before locking eyes again whilst biting her lip with a smirk. 

“ _ Tobin! _ ” Christen’s eyes grow wide as the older woman takes a step closer, hooking her fingers through the hem of Christen’s shirt. 

“What? It could be fun.” She shrugs, looking Christen right in the eyes. 

When she sees Christen’s unsure look she drops her hands again, not wanting her to feel pressured into something she isn’t up for. She clasps her hands together loosely behind Christen’s neck instead, looking at her with soft eyes. 

“It’s only me.” Tobin reassures her, “We don’t have to if you don’t want to, it was just an idea. I’ve never gone skinny dipping before, in my life, and I would have never felt comfortable enough to, but it’s you so it was just supposed to be a bit of fun.” 

Christen leaves a kiss on her lips, “I know it’s only you and I’d totally be up for it, but what if someone sees us?” 

“No one is going to see us, Chris.” Tobin chuckles, looking around to be surrounded by nothing but nature. “There’s no one here.”

“There’s those people camping a little further along from us.” Christen reminds her, giving her a stern look.

“Babe, that’s a good ten minutes away from our tent and they’re not gonna come down here.” 

She tilts her head, narrowing her eyes at the same time. “How are you so sure about that, huh?” 

Tobin laughs with a light-hearted eye roll, “Trust me, they won’t!” 

And Christen does trust her, she trusts her with everything, so she shouldn’t be surprised at her next actions. She shouldn’t be surprised when she reaches out for Tobin’s shirt, pulling it over her head and chucking it next to the bag with their towels. 

“It’s  _ freezing.” _ Christen shivers as she walks into the deeper water, it only just going up towards her shoulders. 

“We’ll get used to it in a minute.” Tobin claims through a shiver, unsure whether she’s speaking the truth or just hoping for that to happen. 

She can see Christen’s tense shoulders from where she’s standing, a few meters away. She’s looking around slightly nervous, as if waiting for someone to randomly show up and spot them. 

“There’s no one here.” Tobin assures her as she rests her hands on Christen’s waist, pulling her in. “Just let go and don’t worry so much.” 

Christen nods, taking a deep breath and relaxing her shoulders. She pulls Tobin closer and kisses her, letting the feeling ground her and bring her back to the present. 

She dips her hand into the water after a long moment, flicking it up at Tobin. The older woman pulls away from Christen’s lips, eyes opening and giving her a disapproving look. “Hey!” 

Christen laughs as Tobin brushes the water off her face, trying to dry her eyes a little. 

“Thank you for always being there for me.” She gives Tobin a gentle smile, just thinking about how Tobin  _ once again  _ managed to get her out of her comfort zone but still make her feel safe and bring across the fact that she doesn’t have to do something she isn’t comfortable with. 

Tobin just gives her a million dollar smile, diving under the water before coming back up again a few steps away. “Come on, let’s swim a little.” 

“Swim?” Christen looks at her as if she’s seen a ghost, “I’ll turn into an iceberg!” 

“No you won’t, it’s not for long.” Tobin laughs at her, since now that they’re in the water and under the sun, the temperature of the water isn’t all that cold. “This is warmer than the ocean in winter, and you’ll happily go surfing in those temperatures.” 

“The Californian sun just hits differently, okay?” Christen tells her, trying not to laugh at her own dramatics. She simply shrugs, diving in too. 

Once they eventually get back to their tent, they change into warm sweatpants and a hoodie, sitting outside in the sunset, using their towels as a place to sit on the floor. 

Tobin shivers lightly from where she’s sitting. Christen doesn’t fail to spot this, mumbling her earlier point right away. “See! I told you we’d be cold.” 

“Okay! Whatever,  _ miss I-know-it-all. _ ” Tobin teases, wrapping her arms around herself.

“Rude!” Christen reaches over to swat her shoulder. Tobin grabs her arm, turning away from Christen. “Ouch.”

“There’s no way that hurt.” Christen gives her a look that tells Tobin right away that she doesn’t buy her reaction, making Tobin turn her upper body back around and return to her earlier position. 

“Yeah, I didn’t.” Tobin laughs, making the younger woman laugh too. 

“Come here!” Christen pats the space next to her when she sees Tobin shiver again, asking Tobin to come a little closer to her. 

She kisses Tobin’s cheek when she reaches her, wrapping her arms around her to move her down, letting Tobin rest her head on Christen’s lap. She lies down on her back, looking up at Christen as she runs her fingers through her hair. 

Tobin reaches out for Christen’s other hand, twisting the promise ring on it whilst staying in deep thought. 

“Thank you for bringing me camping!” Christen gives her a soft smile, “I loved it, but I can’t wait to sleep in our own bed again after tonight.” 

“Me too. I can’t wait to shower again.” Tobin chuckles, feeling slightly gross after now showering for a full weekend. “But thank you for being up for it and coming with me. I wouldn’t be able to live in nature for two nights without any service with anyone else.” 

“You’re not sick of me yet?” Christen jokes, pulling a face at her.

“Nah, I still love you.” Tobin grins when Christen replies, “That’s good, because I still love you too.” 

They fall back into the comfortable silence, Tobin only breaking it when she can’t stop herself from speaking out her thoughts to Christen. “Five more months, babe. That’s crazy.” 

“It really is!” Christen agrees, smiling just at the thought of it. “I’m so ready to keep doing life with you.”

“Luckily for you, you’ll be stuck with me for the rest of it now.” Tobin tilts her head slightly, resting the side of it against Christen’s stomach. 

“I think I can come to terms with that.” 

\-------

Mother’s Day is something Christen used to celebrate with her own mother every year. Channing, Tyler and her used to love taking her out to lunch and spoiling her all day, just like she’s done everything in her power for them, for all of their life. 

It’s easy to forget all of the bad and simply miss the good on days like these, which is probably what makes Christen call both of her parents every Mother’s and Father’s Day. She’s never disappointed when no one picks up the call, already expecting it before she even makes it. 

Sure it sits a little heavy in her heart for a few minutes, but there’s so much she has to be grateful for, so it’s as easily forgotten as it appears. 

This year she’d made the decision to do her own special thing for the occasion. No one has to know about it, not even Tobin - at least not until the day. 

Since Tobin is never able to spend time with Cindy on Mother’s Day, she usually sends her a meaningful card with some flowers. 

This year, Christen had sent her own too. 

Tobin had asked her to post hers when she was heading downtown one afternoon, which just made posting her own card so much easier for Christen. 

She’d checked it over and over again before posting it off to Florida, making sure that every word is as she wants it to be. 

_ Dear Cindy, _

_ I have no other words than thank YOU.  _

_ Since we met, you’ve been there as a motherly figure for me right away - supporting me and offering advice, and everything else that comes with it. Since I came into Tobin’s life, you’ve become such a permanent person in mine and it makes me so happy to think about.  _

_ I’m so lucky to be in the Heath family and I appreciate every single one of you, but especially Jeff and you, more than you’ll ever know.  _

_ Thank you for bringing the motherly characteristics that I lost back into my life. I’m so grateful to have you in it! _

_ Just like day one, I’m still speechless about the fact that you’ve never once disagreed with Tobin and I being together, simply letting us find out own direction in our own time and just allowing me to love her freely. You’ve never once voiced a negative opinion about our relationship or about us showing any sort of love and affection towards the other, and that is something I never thought I’d find.  _

_ I promise to always do my best in making Tobin as happy as she can be in life, and I’ll always be right there to support her. She’s the love of my life and I’ll look after her when you guys can’t, I promise. You’ve made me the happiest person alive by letting Tobin marry me in a few months' time. _

_ Cindy, I have so much love towards you and I can’t thank you enough for letting me be part of your family. You’re incredible and you’ve both raised four incredible children together! _

_ I miss you guys, _

_ Christen x _

She hears the family group chat go off after eating her lunch, walking over to the kitchen table to locate her phone.

**Heath Family** ❤️

**Cindy Heath :** Thank you so much. I feel like I’ve been spoiled rotten, even if none of you can be here right now. I’m so lucky to have the most incredible daughters and son, and I love you more than anything. You’ve brought so much joy into my life since the day each of you were born, even if you’re all the reason I have grey hair now. Happy Mother’s Day to you too, Katie and Pez. You’re both amazing mothers and I have the best grandkids (with more to come hopefully😉). 

**Cindy Heath :** ...And Chris, thanks for making me ugly cry to no end. You’re such a sweet and caring soul, who fits into our family so well. Jeff and I love you too!

“What’s my mom going on about?” Tobin wonders as she comes down the stairs, spotting Christen sitting on her laptop at the kitchen table. 

Christen hums, asking Tobin to repeat the question. She walks up to her, holding her phone out and pointing to the text about Christen. 

“Oh, I might have sent your mom a card too.” Christen mentions cautiously once recognizing that she’s already read the text, “I hope that’s okay?” 

Tobin wraps her arms around Christen from where she’s standing behind her, squeezing her a little tighter for a brief moment. “You truly are one of a kind, babe.” 

Tobin doesn’t talk about it more than that simple sentence, and Christen doesn’t need her to, knowing exactly which words she’d be using right now. 

“What are you doing?” Tobin peeks down so she can see the laptop screen better.

“I’m just getting some work done tonight, since Ty will be over tomorrow.” Christen explains as Tobin nods.

“Don’t work yourself too hard.” Tobin requests, massaging her shoulders. She sits down next to Christen, just watching her work for a little. 

When she starts getting bored, she leans closer, leaving a light kiss on Christen’s neck. After getting no reaction, Tobin moves her lips, starting to kiss and suck lightly on the soft skin, making sure not to leave any marks. 

“You’re distracting me.” Christen taps her fingers on the table, waiting for Tobin to stop, even if she’s in the mood for her to continue. 

Tobin shrugs, “Sometimes you have to take a little break and let yourself get distracted.” 

“But I haven’t got much done yet!” Christen claims, even if Tobin knows that Christen’s definition of  _ not much  _ is a lot different to everyone else's.

“You can get it done later.” Tobin whispers against her skin, not backing down.

“Tobin.” Christen lets out breathlessly, “I’m trying to concentrate.” 

“I’m concentrating too.” She claims as Christen feels her smirk against her jaw. 

“Baby-” Christen whispers, the words dying on her tongue. 

Tobin’s hands continue to wander, slipping her fingers into the waistband of Christen’s sweatpants. “Do you want me to stop?”

“Fuck-, no.” Christen closes her eyes, trying to urge Tobin’s head a little higher. 

“I thought you said that you need to work!” Tobin teases, making Christen want to roll her eyes.

“I think I can take a break.” Christen admits, not being able to concentrate on much right now. 

“Good!” Tobin smirks against her skin. She closes Christen’s laptop, moving to straddle her. 

“You’re beautiful.” Christen comments as she admires Tobin, pulling her into a deep kiss. 

She slips her hands under the hem of her shirt this time, letting them run up and down Christen’s sides. 

“I want you, Tobin.” Christen urges, desperately trying to get something more out of the situation.

Tobin stands up, pulling Christen off her chair too and dragging her up the stairs. 

\-------

Christen gets up extra early the next morning, wanting to finish the work that Tobin made her abandon the previous night. Since she won’t be free in the afternoon, she needed some way of finishing it before the next day. 

Tobin must have woken up without Christen and wondered where she’d gone, since she’s now making her way down the stairs at snail's speed.

“Hey, baby.” Christen smiles when she spots Tobin, the woman looking like she’s sleepwalking. She has her arms wrapped around herself, eyes not even half way open and trying their best to help her see the path in front of her. 

Tobin doesn’t even reply, just patting over to the sofa. She grabs a blanket, coming to move next to Christen. Tobin lifts up Christen’s Macbook, moving it next to the woman instead. She rests her head down on where it had previously been on Christen’s lap, stretching her arm out a little to have her hand on Christen’s knee, just wanting as much contact as possible. 

Christen smiles, rubbing her arms. She leans forward as best she can, kissing Tobin’s head. “Good morning to you too.”

“Mhm.” Tobin hums, just trying to keep her eyes closed so she can get the last hour of sleep that she was supposed to have before her alarm goes off. “Missed you.” 

Christen chuckles at the fact it had only been half-an-hour since she got out of bed. “Trust me, I’d much rather be asleep in your arms right now.” 

She feels Tobin smile, Christen naturally having to smile too. 

She moves her laptop, resting it on the low arm rest of the sofa and getting back to work. She scrolls to the top of the document, reading through it from the beginning. 

Christen can’t help but smile again when she feels Tobin’s fingers thread through the hand she currently has resting on the sofa. Before she’s even able to look down again, Tobin’s already asleep. 

Christen admires her for a short moment, not being able to help her smile from growing even wider at the fact that Tobin simply wanted to be close to Christen. She reaches down, moving Tobin’s blanket up a little higher since it’s a cold morning today.

She closes her laptop once she’s done, twenty minutes later, and shuffles down on the sofa until she can gently move Tobin so she’s lying in Christen’s arms instead. At first she’d thought about going back upstairs and getting ready now, but she was still supposed to be asleep for another forty-minutes so she can spare some time. Tobin nuzzles into her, letting out a content sigh and shuffling towards the backrest so Christen has more space. 

It’s now exactly three weeks until Tyler’s due date, so Will had called Tobin a few days ago to ask if she’d accompany him in going car shopping. He wasn’t in the mood to go by himself and he didn’t want to make his very pregnant wife stand on her feet for longer than necessary. 

He also figured that it’s probably best to get a woman’s opinion too, just because he’s never been a big car fan and would just go for the first one that he likes. Will’s heard from Tobin’s childhood stories that she used to have a love for working on cars with her brother and father, so he assumed that she’d be the right person to take. 

Christen had then invited Tyler over too, suggesting they have a  _ girls night _ filled with movies, face masks, ice cream and popcorn. 

That’s what they end up doing, even if Christen didn’t have enough time to turn her head before Tyler ate the full bowl of popcorn. She argued that she was having popcorn for her and Christen’s godson, so she couldn’t be mad.

Christen just laughs it off anyway, making Tyler promise to provide the popcorn next time so she knows she’s bought enough. 

\-------

Fast forward two weeks and Christen’s phone rings in the middle of her and Tobin waiting for the soccer team to start their warm up. 

**Incoming call :** Tyler Press

“Hey, everything ok?” Christen asks right away, unsure why Tyler is calling her when she knows that Christen could still be at work. 

“Chris, my water broke, and I thought I’d be fine for a while, but I’m not and I need to go to the hospital, but Will is still at work and I tried calling him but he didn’t pick up, so he must be in a meeting or something.” Tyler rushes out within seconds.

“Slow down.” Christen gently calms her, trying to get her to take a breath. “Do you need me to come and get you?”

“I think I might!” Tyler nods even though Christen can’t see her. 

“I’m at work, so I’m about half an hour away, is that too long?” Christen explains, unsure how close Tyler’s contractions are. 

“No, I should be fine.” Tyler forces out, “Just would you call Will on the way please and then stay on the phone with me after, so I know how far away you are?”

“Of course.” Christen agrees right away, “I’ll call Will and I’m on my way now.”

Tobin looks at her when Christen hangs up the phone. “Tyler just went into labor and Will’s at work.” Christen explains, Tobin pretty much ushering her away and trying to get her towards the car right away. 

“How will you get home?” Christen realizes, needing to make sure Tobin can get somewhere safely before leaving. 

“I’ll get Al or Julie to drop me off at the hospital. Otherwise I can just get an Uber.” Tobin shrugs, knowing she’ll find a way to get there. “I’ll call Fran on the way too so I can meet her there.”

“Sure?” 

“Yes! Now go!” Tobin gives her a light shove, making Christen move further away. She jogs inside, quickly grabbing her belongings and heading out to Tobin’s car. 

She dials Will’s number as soon as she’s in the car, informing him of the situation and telling him to meet them at the hospital. 

Christen picks Tyler up, driving as steadily as she can to the hospital, trying not to delay the journey any further. She knows it’ll still take a few hours, but she’d rather have her sister in the hands of professionals than in Tobin’s car in the middle of contractions. 

Will is already at the hospital when they arrive, meeting them there and Christen letting him take over. She leaves them to it, going to find a cup of coffee and the waiting room, already knowing it’s going to be a long day. 

Eight hours later, and their nephew - Isaac - takes his first breath. Since he’s born in the middle of the night, getting closer to sunrise, the rest of them don’t end up not meeting him until the next morning. Will told them to go home and rest overnight, promising he’d text them right away once he’s born and that they could come to visit first thing in the morning. 

\-------

Christen is sitting in the hospital chair, holding Isaac for the first time with a massive smile on her face.

Channing and Mikel were both at the hospital the previous night too, having to work this morning and not being able to meet him until later in the day. To say they aren’t happy about it is an understatement. 

“Do you want to hold him?” Christen turns her head to look at Tobin next to her. Tobin doesn’t reply, lifting her head to look at Tyler. 

“Don’t you dare ask me if that’s okay!” Tyler deadpans, “You know it is and I never want to hear those words.”

Tobin throws her hands up in defense, “Jeez, Tyler the mom is aggressive!” 

They all start laughing, Christen handing the sleeping boy over to Tobin. 

She looks over at Tobin with a newborn in her arms with soft eyes, trying to remind herself that they’re only just getting married next month. She brings herself to slow down, before she ends up asking Tobin if they can have their own child now. 

It won’t be today, or tomorrow, or in a year’s time, but one day they’ll have a family too. A few years down the line and they’ll be parents too. 

Once again, as if she can read Christen’s mind, Tobin thinks the same as she comes out with her next sentence. “One day we’ll be holding our own!” She whispers to Christen so only she can hear her. The younger woman squeezes her thigh in response.

Tobin holds onto Isaac for a little longer, admiring him and just appreciating the fact that she  _ finally  _ got to be there for the birth of one of her nephews. Will lays him back in his bassinet after a while, heading downstairs to get some coffee with Fran. 

“Chris…” Tyler whispers quietly when Will and Fran leave the room, “I’m really scared to do this without Mom and Dad.” 

“I know.” Christen gives her a sad smile, climbing onto the bed and sitting down next to her. She pulls her in from the side, Tyler resting her head on Christen’s shoulder. 

Tobin reaches out, squeezing Tyler’s arm and letting Christen do the talking. 

“You can call them, you know. It’s okay, I wouldn’t be upset.” Christen sincerely tells her, “You never had to lose contact with them in the first place, and you wouldn’t lose me if you decide to call them.” 

“What they did to you wasn’t right, Chris.” Tyler doesn’t hesitate to respond, “Imagine if things would have gone differently that day. What if we would have lost you and Tobin wouldn’t have had the chance to say goodbye.”

The thought of it makes all of them tear up, trying not to let their thoughts get that far. 

“I didn’t though. I was okay!” Christen tries to bring them away from that idea, “Everything worked out the way it was supposed to.” 

Christen takes a deep breath when there’s a moment of silence. “Call them!” She requests, wanting Tyler to have a relationship with their parents if she has the chance to.

“I already did.” Tyler admits through a teary chuckle, “I called them when we found out that it’s a boy, I called them a few days before my baby shower to invite them and I called them three times before I called you yesterday. They don’t answer...they never do.” 

She sighs with disappointment, dropping her head back onto Christen’s shoulder again. “I thought they’d want to know that they’re going to be grandparents, but if they can’t even pick up my calls then they’re clearly not good enough for my child.” 

Tobin frowns, reaching out for Tyler’s hand again and holding onto it this time. “I know it’s not the same, but you’ve always got me and Chris. We’ll be there whenever you need anything and we’ll always pick up your calls.” 

“Thank you!” Tyler gives Tobin an appreciative smile, “You’re gonna make pretty awesome godparents, I hope you know that.” 

“Oh, we know!” Tobin laughs, “This little guy is going to get spoilt rotten by his favorite aunts.” 

Christen instantly smiles to herself when Tobin, once again, proves how perfect she is for Christen. Just like that she’s reassured her older sister, without even having to really  _ try _ . She knew exactly what to say, how to say it and when to say it. 

_ I can’t wait to marry her. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if that was too long. Well done if you made it to the end lol, I appreciate you!!!  
> -  
> Also I've been gone for a while, so sorry about that. Life just got busy and in the way so I hope this long chapter made up for it. I'll try my very best to get the next chapter written and posted soon, but I think you can probably already guess what it's going to be.  
> -  
> For anyone that requested a pregnant Tobin in the post I put up a couple weeks back - not to spoil anything, butttttt pregnant Tobin will definitely be making an appearance in this fic.  
> -  
> Tumblr : PressPack


	23. Just Wanna Be With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Through every up, through every down.  
> You know I'll always be around.  
> Through anything, you can count on me.  
> All I wanna do is be with you.  
> No matter where life takes us,  
> Nothing can break us apart.

Tobin is lying in bed, her body and mind wide awake, when the door opens - a head peeking through the tiny gap. She watches as the familiar figure enters the room, closing the door behind her and lying down next to Tobin on the bed. 

Christen moves in silence, both of them looking up at the ceiling as if they could see right through to the stars. 

They were staying in the small cottage on site of their venue - The Vintage Ranch in Paso Robles. It was only a three hour drive away from home, but the whole wedding party was staying there for two nights. Christen and Tobin are sleeping in the two-bedroom cottage together, whereas everyone else has booked a hotel that’s only a short walk away. 

Tobin had insisted that they sleep in separate rooms the night before the wedding, which is the reason behind them renting out the slightly larger cottage in the first place. Christen would have been more than happy to just sleep in the one-bedroom one, but Tobin had insisted on the rules and Christen was more than happy to agree with whatever Tobin wanted. 

Now though, after lying in bed and trying to sleep for the past hour, she creeps into Tobin’s room. 

Christen lets out a deep sigh. “It wasn’t supposed to be this way.” She whispers quietly, “They were supposed to be here tomorrow and my dad was supposed to give me away. I’m so thankful that Gran is walking me down the aisle, but it was supposed to be him.” 

“I know.” Tobin frowns, turning into Christen and wrapping an arm around her waist - moving her head onto Christen’s chest. She runs her fingertips along Christen’s forearm, just trying to soothe her and let her know that she’s not alone. 

Christen lets out a disappointed sigh, shaking her head into the pillow, as if trying to forget everything about it. 

“Tobs?” Christen whispers, continuing before Tobin can even nod. “Are you nervous for tomorrow?” 

She moves on from the topic so fast, that Tobin can tell it was more of a passing comment and truthful thought than anything that’s been upsetting here more so than usual. Tobin shakes her head in response to Christen’s question, “Not really, I’m excited more than anything else. Are you?”

“I’m way too sure about us to be nervous.” Christen agrees with her, the corners of her mouth moving into a smile. “I’m scared that I’ll end up embarrassing myself or something like that, but I’m not nervous about the fact that I’m marrying you.” 

“You’re gonna regret that when you realize that you’re stuck with me.” Tobin jokes, “You’ll be stuck with me forever.” 

“I better run whilst I still can.” Christen giggles, making Tobin laugh too. She makes no move to pull away, indicating that the joke was as light-hearted as any other time when she teases Tobin. 

Tobin lifts her head up, propping herself onto her elbow so she can see Christen’s face. 

“Will you stay with me tonight?” Tobin whispers into the silence, “Please?” 

“You were the one that decided we should stay in separate rooms.” Christen laughs as she rolls her eyes. “I never made those rules!” 

“I know, but I changed my mind. I just need to be with you tonight.” Tobin shrugs, making Christen nod. 

She turns towards Tobin, bending her arm and using it as a pillow. Tobin copies her, lying down and locking eyes with the younger woman. 

Christen just stays silent, reaching her hand out and tucking Tobin’s hair behind her ear. 

“You’re so beautiful!” Christen comments softly after a long moment, admiring every inch of Tobin’s face. From the faint freckles on her nose, her hazel eyes that are shining from the reflection of the outdoor lights and her soft lips, to her smooth skin, her smile lines and her jawline. 

“And you’re dreamy.” Tobin smirks when Christen’s eyes meet hers again. “My dream girl is dreamy!”

She rolls her eyes once again with a chuckle, lightly threading her fingers through the older woman’s. 

“I’ll never get sick of looking in your eyes.” She lets out thoughtfully.

“Oh no?” Christen challenges her.

“Never ever!” Tobin gives her a smirk, shaking her head sternly. 

“I could look into yours forever.” She makes clear, nudging Tobin’s foot with her own. 

Tobin gives her a questioning look, “I’d beat you!”

“Everything’s a competition with you.” Christen laughs, the older woman shrugging with a smirk as she responds. “I’m just saying…”

Tobin looks into her eyes, as if trying to challenge her for a staring contest. Christen gives her the same look, staying that way until they both start laughing. 

“I think we should make some promises to each other!” Tobin declares as she sits up on the bed, “I know that’s kind of the idea of vows, but just for ourselves? Something more than vows to keep private?” 

“I like that idea.” Christen nods, getting up and walking back over to her original room, grabbing her notebook. She flicks past her vows, opening the last page and grabbing a pen. 

“Okay, uhm, I don’t want us to ever go to bed angry. I think we should always talk any arguments out before going to sleep.” Tobin begins when Christen turns on a light and sits down next to her against the headboard. 

“I don’t want us to ever walk out on the other when we fight. Obviously we’ll need some space sometimes by going to a different room, just to calm down before one of us ends up saying something we’ll regret, but I don’t want us to actually leave the house and walk out in that sense. So I guess never leaving the house angry kinda links to that too.” Christen suggests as Tobin nods along. 

“I don’t want us to bring up a divorce when it’s about our relationship.” Tobin begins before explaining her thoughts. “Just in fights, arguments or days where it’s really difficult, I don’t want us to ever throw the word around, if deep down we don’t mean it. I know that I’ll never want to be married to someone else, but if one day you’d happen to be really unhappy and want us to go our separate ways, then I’d obviously want what’s best for you and makes you happy. Whilst I don’t think we’ll ever get to that point, if we would, I think we’d know, so unless it would truly come to that, I want to keep the word away from our relationship.” 

“I don’t ever want to marry anyone else either and it won’t ever get to that stage.” Christen shakes her head, kissing Tobin’s cheek. “Yeah, I definitely think we shouldn’t just throw it around in a hurtful way. I don’t think we would do that anyway, but still.”

Christen continues to write them down in bullet points as they go back and forth on their thoughts. 

“I want us to always mention when there’s something weighing on our minds - no matter how small it is. So I want us to keep being honest with each other and never get into a pattern of secrets or lies.” 

“I know this isn’t for now and more for  _ way _ into the future, but once we have kids, I don’t want us to ever fight about them.” Christen announces, “I want us to be a team and work everything out together, so we always back each other up instead of arguing over them or the way we’re raising them.” She considers her wording as she voices her opinion, “And I want them to grow up in a loving and caring home, where they feel safe and don’t constantly have to watch their parents fight. We’ll have fights and sometimes we won’t always be able to avoid arguing in front of them, but it should never be about them or the way one of us is raising them. If we disagree with something the other person does, then I’d much rather speak about it calmly and when we're alone.” 

“Maybe not  _ that  _ far in the future?” Tobin looks up at her, locking eyes. Christen’s mouth turns into a soft smile, “Maybe!” 

Tobin gets her train of thought back on track to what they are doing. “Always be patient with the other and try to understand their point of view, even if we disagree with what they’re saying.” 

“I know we already do this, but never letting other people’s opinions or comments impact our relationship. I think that’s so important and might get more difficult than other times sometimes, but our relationship is ours and no one else's.” Christen thinks back to her parents and people like Emma, where she knows that if it would have been with anyone other than Tobin, her relationship probably wouldn’t have survived all of that or at least not very well.

“Always choose family and each other over anything and anyone else in life!” Tobin lets out right away, it being something so important to her. “As long as we stick together, we’ll always be okay and find a way out, no matter what life throws at us.” 

They continue coming up with small promises of things that are important to them. They both know that they’d never cheat or be unfaithful to the other in any way, so those weren’t necessary. It’s the same with yelling at each other or calling the other names. Those things are a given to them - something they both know won’t be happening at any point. 

Christen voices the last one, looking up at Tobin as she tells it. “Stay forever.” 

Tobin smiles, softly kissing her before Christen has the chance to write the two words down at the bottom of the page. 

“Alright, we have to sign it!” Tobin tells her, taking the pen from Christen and signing her name at the side of the page. Christen chuckles, signing her name after Tobins. 

Christen drops the notebook onto the floor after, turning the light off again. 

“Come on, let’s go to sleep.” Tobin suggests when she sees how late it is. “We have a long day tomorrow and I want to enjoy every second of it.” 

Christen moves over, curling herself into Tobin. 

Just as she’s about to fall asleep, Christen mumbles into Tobin’s skin. “I need to practice my Heath signature! I never decided which one to go with.” 

Tobin lets out a tired laugh, “You do that, babe.” 

\-------

Tobin wakes up to an empty bed. 

She stretches her arm out, trying to reach for Christen, but being met with nothing but an empty space. She could see that some of Christen’s stuff is gone, assuming that she’s already up and ready to start the day. 

A smile involuntarily creeps onto Tobin’s face, taking over when she realizes what day it is. 

She opens her eyes fully, looking over to Christen’s side of the bed, just to be greeted with an envelope. 

It has  _ My Love  _ written on the front of it in Christen’s handwriting. 

Tobin sits up a little, rubbing her eyes. She opens the envelope and pulls out a letter from inside it. 

The first thing she spots on the still folded piece of paper is a sentence written in beautiful handwriting. 

_ If you’re reading this, it’s either our wedding day or you’re snooping. If it’s our wedding day, continue. If it’s not, stop it, Tobin! Put the envelope back where it was, stop being nosey and get your hands off my stuff. I’ll find out and you better run for your life when I do! Love you, baby :)  _

Tobin can’t help but burst out laughing, just imagining Christen saying this to her face in a serious tone. She shakes her head, opening the letter up.

_ Baby, _

_ This still feels so surreal to me, but it’s finally our wedding day. It feels like I’ve been waiting forever for this day to come, but at the same time, it feels like we only just met yesterday.  _

_ It’s been such a journey since we met, but I wouldn’t want to go through this crazy life with anyone else.  _

_ From the moment we locked eyes, I felt something for you. When my stomach flipped when I saw your hazel eyes, that was real, even if I brushed it off as nothing at the time. From the moment we became friends and started spending more and more time together, I knew that I’d want you in my life for a long time. We had such a great connection and spending time with you was something that I loved so much, that it makes me laugh at my own obliviousness. When I felt something real for you for the first time, whilst I was falling asleep in a UNC Heath hoodie right next to you, I had no idea what it was because I’d never felt that way before. I had never in my life felt butterflies that strong. It was almost like I started falling in love with you on the spot.  _

_ But then, from the moment we shared our first kiss, I hoped it would be you. I hoped I’d get to stay with you, because after getting to taste your lips and feel your touch, I knew that I never wanted to feel anything other than that again.  _

_ When we went out together on our first date, laughing and just being ourselves, I felt so free. It was a completely new sense of happiness that I felt, where I was me. I wasn’t trying to be anything for anyone, and I wasn’t trying to hide the damaged and imperfect parts of me. I didn’t even think about any of them. _

_ It was in the way you never call me clingy for wanting to cuddle. You never tell me to fix my hair or smile differently to look nice in photos ; you never care if I ramble on about a movie or tv show whilst it’s running, even if you want to watch it and listen to what they’re saying (well, apart from when we’re watching The Last Dance) ; you never get embarrassed by something I say or do when we’re out together ; you always take an interest in how my day was to try and cheer me up if I had a bad one ; and you never ever let me go through any struggles on my own.  _

_ You just accept me as who I am, and still call me beautiful, even on days where that’s the last word I would use to describe myself. You’ve never judged me for anything, even when something didn’t work out, and taught me that it’s okay to have imperfections and make mistakes. No one is perfect (even though you come as close as it gets). _

_ But if I thought that you were on my mind a lot when we were friends, then I was about to be proven wrong from that day on. Because from that moment when you kissed me, you have never left my mind. Not even for a single second. You’re on it all of the time, and I’ll bet you all the money in the world that I’m thinking about you as you’re reading this.  _

_ I still remember those same butterflies filling my stomach when I felt your lips touch mine for the first time. It was like a billion fireworks were going off inside of me and it made me feel like I was on such a high.  _

_ Sure, I still get butterflies now. I get them when you kiss me in certain ways, or when you give me that bright million dollar smile, but more than anything, I now get the feeling of home. Because that’s what you are, you’re my home! I know that as long as I’ve got you by my side, everything else will work out. And those feelings are stronger and more powerful than butterflies could ever be. Those feelings are ones that won’t ever go away, because they’re engraved into my heart, just like your name.  _

_ Tobin, I’ve fallen so deeply in love with you and I just keep falling further and further every day. I love that your smile brightens up my day by making me smile too. I love that your hugs remind me that everything is going to be okay at the end of the day, because I’ll be wrapped up safely in your arms where nothing can hurt me. I love that I laugh whenever you do, because your happiness is so contagious and important to me. I’ve learned so many ways to love you throughout our relationship, and I can’t wait to continue finding more in our marriage. It’s as if I find a new reason to love you every day. More than anything though, I love that you’re my person. I feel so safe talking to you and telling you how I feel or what I’m struggling with. You’re the safest place in the world for me, and every time our eyes lock, I forget that there’s even a world existing around us. I know that I’ll never be able to tell you just how much I love you, because that love is beyond how much I thought I was capable of loving, but I’m going to try my best to prove it to you every single day.  _

_ When I look into your eyes, baby, I see all of it. I see our future, our love, and the realest and most vulnerable version of you. The version that you only show to me and that I wish I could protect forever. Of course, I can’t promise that there won’t be bad days, because there will be. We both know that there’ll be some of the hardest and worst days of our lives ahead of us, but what I can promise you, is that I’ll stick by your side throughout all of them. No matter what happens, I’m not going anywhere. You’ve got me forever.  _

_ Moments like those are when it feels like I was waiting for you my whole life. You were the one missing piece to complete every part of me. Not only have you filled the spot of being my girlfriend, fiancée and soon to be wife, but you’ve also turned into my best friend (and that makes life a million times more fun).  _

_ I truly believe that we were made for each other. I’m so excited for what the future holds, but for now, I just want you to know that you’re the love of my life. Thank you for being my sunshine by always brightening my darkest days, and thank you for letting me see every version of you. I truly can’t get enough of you! _

_ My heart beats for you, Tobin Heath, and officially becoming yours forever is going to be the best thing that’s ever happened to me. _

_ This is only the beginning, baby.  _

_ From yours and yours only, _

_ Christen Annemarie Press (for one of the last times) _

Tobin wipes her eyes with a teary smile, clearing her vision again as she folds the piece of paper back up, tears of happiness running down her cheeks. She wishes so badly that the younger woman could be next to her right now. She’s not sure what she’d want to do first - kiss her so softly and slowly that they’d forget about the world around them, or just hold her tightly and never let go.

She pulls out the other note in the envelope, a smaller one this time. It’s a piece of paper with a list on it. 

_ One thing that you haven’t found out yet is that over the past two years and nine months of us being together, I’ve been making a playlist of songs that remind me of our love. I’m not sharing all of them with you (maybe one day, but not today), but I thought I’d write a few of them down in case you want to listen to them and see which lyrics remind me of you whenever I hear them. If I could sing, I would have totally written you a song or something like that, but this is the next best thing.  _

_ A little fun fact : I listened to this playlist on my flight to Utah, because it helps me feel closer to you and makes me miss you a little less when I can’t be with you.  _

  * _Falling Like the Stars - James Arthur_


  * All of Me - John Legend


  * Perfect - Ed Sheeran


  * Say You Won’t Let Go - James Arthur


  * Thinking Out Loud - Ed Sheeran 


  * Paper Rings - Taylor Swift



Tobin reaches for her phone, checking the time and noticing that it was still over an hour before she’d planned on waking up. It must have been a mixture of all of the excitement and nerves waking her up so early. 

She quickly texts Christen, not wanting to distract her but needing her to know she took her time to read through what was left for her. 

**Tobs :** I love you so much. 

**Tobs :** I can’t wait to see how beautiful you’re going to look.

Tobin decides that she won’t read through her vows again this morning, knowing it’ll make her overthink them and rewrite every word for the millionth time, just like she already did last night. 

Instead, she gets up and grabs her airpods out of her bag. She walks over to the small swing on the front patio of the cottage, looking out at the view and playing the first song on Christen’s list. She’s heard all of these songs before, of course she has, but she’d be lying if she said she’s ever paid any information to what the lyrics  _ actually  _ say before. 

Tobin has the widest smile on her face by the time the last song finishes, and she decides that it’s time to leave the small cottage and go to meet her mother. 

\-------

After a busy morning for getting ready, trying to make sure everything is organized and calming her nerves, she’s standing in front of Tobin - tears in her own eyes as she holds onto Tobin’s hands. 

Out of the corner of her eyes, she can see Cindy crying, the tears not having stopped since Tobin and Christen started reading their vows to each other. It wouldn’t take much for Christen to guess that Tobin’s view of Fran won’t be much different, having already seen her cry when she walked Christen down the aisle, being emotional before the ceremony had even gotten into its full swing. 

“By the power of your love and commitment, and the power vested in me, I now pronounce you wife and wife!” The officiant announces, “You may now kiss your bride!” 

Tobin lets go of Christen’s hands, pulling her in by the waist at the same time as Christen’s hands move up to Tobin’s neck to pull her closer. 

Their lips connect, Christen feeling like a thousand fireworks are going off inside her. The feeling of Tobin’s fingertips on her lace wedding dress, her soft lips on Christen’s, and her smooth skin under Christen’s fingers, it’s all so much to take in and process, but it makes her heart burst with happiness and pride. 

She almost doesn’t notice the cheers and whistles in the background. It’s like they’re millions of miles away, somewhere in the distance, and time is simply standing still. The only thing she can think about is Tobin and the fact that as of a second ago, she is officially Christen’s wife. 

Time and reality catch up with her again when they pull away from the kiss, only just having enough time to open their eyes and smile at the other before leaning back in again. 

“This is the best moment of my life.” Christen whispers against her lips before placing one last kiss on Tobin’s lips. When they pull back a second time, hazel eyes meet green ones right away, sparkling with joy. 

Christen links her fingers through Tobin’s hand, turning to face their guests as they make their grand exit down the aisle. As soon as they reach the back of the crowd, Christen wraps her arms around Tobin’s shoulders, closing her eyes as Tobin wraps her arms around Christen too. 

“Baby, you’re my wife!” Christen shakes her head with disbelief, squeezing Tobin a little tighter for a moment. 

“We’re married!” Tobin returns the excitement, still in disbelief that she’s officially a married woman. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you.” Christen pulls back, leaning in to give Tobin a soft kiss. 

Cindy and Jeff both make their way over to the pair in that moment, tears in their eyes whilst sporting two massive smiles. They embrace the couple in a hug right away, not being able to form any words yet. 

Christen looks over Jeff’s shoulder to see Kelley standing there. She lets go of Jeff, moving past him and pulling her best friend into a hug. 

“Nice to meet you, Christen Heath!” Kelley jokes, sticking her hand out for Christen to shake after they pull away. Christen just rolls her eyes with a massive smile, sticking her hand out too and shaking it. 

She grabs Christen’s shoulders, shaking her lightly. “You’re married!” Kelley squeals as she pulls Christen into another hug, even tighter this time. “You have no idea how happy I am for you. You couldn’t have married a better person!” 

Christen has to smile at that, thinking about how six years ago those words sounded a lot different. She takes a good guess in thinking that it’s probably down to the fact that years ago she wasn’t saying  _ you couldn’t have picked a better person,  _ but instead saying things like  _ you deserve better, you need to stop letting him control you, he isn’t good for you.  _ She’s never felt happier for not only the change in that, but also the change in herself. 

It’s her past, it’s what made her who she is today, and it’s always going to be there. But one thing that’s never going to be there again is that version of her, where she spends her life with someone that makes her nothing but miserable. Instead, she gets to spend the rest of her life with the woman that makes Christen find out a little more about herself everyday, and not the person that Christen let control her every move because she wasn’t strong enough to stand up for herself. Tobin knows Christen better than Christen knows Christen, which is how she subconsciously helps Christen grow on a daily basis. 

Not only that, but she also has the person who makes her laugh like no one else, the one that she trusts with her life, and the one that she loves more than anything by her side for the rest of her life. And Christen doesn’t think that it will ever get better than that. 

Tyler, Channing, Fran and Katie come over too, hugging both of them. When Fran reaches Tobin, she pulls her into a tight hug, squeezing her for a moment. 

“Take care of her for me, Tobs.” Fran whispers to her, knowing that it’s what Tobin’s been doing for the past years already.

“I will.” Tobin nods into her shoulder, “I’ll always take cake of her, no matter what.” 

“I know you will.” Fran nods, taking Tobin’s hands into her own as a tear falls down her cheek. She lets go again, wiping her own tears as Tobin gives her a soft look. 

“Thank you for letting me be such a big part of your day.” Fran says quietly, looking Tobin in the eyes. 

“Thank  _ you  _ for welcoming me into the family with open arms and constantly looking out for me.” Tobin squeezes Fran’s hands, smiling at her before moving on to hug Channing. Afterwards, they follow the rest of the guests that are filling out the seats. 

Christen’s matrons of honor had ended up as both Tyler and Channing. Tobin and Christen both decided to go with their eldest sister being their matron of honor, but since Tyler also had a one-month-old baby on her hands, they decided that Tyler and Channing should share the role. 

Once all the guests are gone, heading towards the direction of their reception at the same venue, Christen takes a moment to just be with Tobin. They’d both stayed behind, just wanting a moment alone. She pulls her engagement ring off her right hand after having it there for the ceremony, slipping it on top of her wedding band on her left ring finger. 

Christen simply chose a thin wedding ring, that is gold with small crystals all around it - complimenting her engagement ring perfectly. Tobin, on the other hand, went for a gold band with their wedding date engraved on the outside of it in roman numerals. 

“Christen Heath, I love you more than words.” Tobin whispers when Christen looks back up again, kissing her cheek. 

“You’re really my wife, huh?” Christen questions as she links her hands together behind Tobin’s head, her smile growing wider by the second. 

“It sure seems like it.” Tobin pecks Christen’s lips, taking her hand and walking towards where their wedding photographer is waiting in the distance. 

“This feels like a dream!” Christen whispers as she squeezes Tobin’s hand. 

\-------

“By the way, you can totally sing, babe.” Tobin leans in close to Christen’s ear, talking to her over the music as they sway to the rhythm of it. She has to smile every time she spots the look Fran and her parents are giving them, as if their first dance is the most magical thing they’ll ever witness in their lives. 

Christen knows right away that Tobin is referring to the note, laughing at her comment. “I didn’t want your eardrums to burst because of my terribly off-tune notes.” 

Tobin gives her a look of genuine shock, raising a single eyebrow to show that she’s teasing. “I don’t know what you mean. Adele wishes that she could sign as good as you!” 

“Obviously!” Christen laughs as her eyes divert towards Perry, receiving a wink from the older woman. 

“Babe, the letter meant so much to me.” Tobin tells her when Christen’s eyes lock with her own again, “I was speechless and so emotional when I read it this morning.” 

“I’m glad you woke up early enough to see it.” Christen smiles, not having seen Tobin’s text messages from earlier yet. “I could have still given it to you after, but I thought it would be nicer to do it before.” 

“I thought we weren’t doing wedding day letters since we wrote our own vows.” Tobin gives her an accusing look, having loved the letter but wanting to tease Christen. 

“It wasn’t a wedding day letter!” She quickly argues before Tobin can get another sentence out. 

“It’s our wedding day and it was a letter, so…” Tobin chuckles at Christen’s statement. 

“Okay, sure, but I didn’t intend for it to be that.” Christen shrugs, “I just got lost in my own head a couple weeks back and decided that I want to write down my feelings about it. It turns out that was pretty much impossible, so I thought I’d write something for you to read on our wedding day instead.” 

“Well, I loved it. So much.” Tobin shows her how appreciative she is of it, squeezing Christen’s hip. “But I can’t believe that I didn’t know about the playlist!” 

“You listened to it?” Christen wonders right away, not knowing if Tobin would have had enough time to. 

“Of course I did! Now I want to hear the rest of the songs.” 

“Good luck with that one.” Christen stops her right away, not even hesitating. 

“Please?”

She shakes her head, “Nope.” 

“Pretty please with cherries on top?” Tobin wonders, making Christen giggle. “No, Tobin!” 

“But I feel all those ways about you too, so I need some songs to listen to!” Tobin argues. 

“Maybe if you’re lucky, I’ll put the playlist on for the drive home tomorrow afternoon.” 

“Really?” Tobin’s eyes light up, making Christen confirm to herself that the playlist will be put on in the car tomorrow. 

“Only if you’re lucky though.” Christen claims, “Plus you haven’t even reached all the classic love songs yet, so just wait and see.” 

\-------

Christen sits back down in her chair when Jeff makes his way over to Tobin for their father-daughter dance, taking a sip of water and then directing her attention over to them. Just seeing the bright smile on not only Tobin, but also Jeff’s face, confirms the fact that she made the right decision. She’s so lost in the moment and watching them, that she doesn’t notice a figure moving to stand next to her chair. 

“I might not be your dad, but I know how to dance!” Cindy sticks her hand out, waiting for the younger woman to take it. Christen freezes for a moment, genuine shock in her body at the sudden approach.

“You-” She begins, cutting herself off when she realizes that the sentence wasn’t going anywhere. 

“Come on.” Cindy calmly encourages her, taking the smallest step back. Christen’s face forms a soft smile, as she slowly sticks her hand out too, taking it into her own and following Cindy until they’re next to Tobin and Jeff. 

“If you wanted to make my gran cry again, I think you just succeeded.” Christen tells Cindy when she spots Fran next to Mikel, watching as she wipes her tears after spotting Christen and Cindy.

“I love that woman.” Cindy chuckles, shaking her head. “I can totally see why you guys call her  _ Grand  _ Fran.” 

“She’s the best!” Christen agrees, “You are too, by the way. You’re the best and I’m so lucky that I get to call you my mother-in-law now. You do way too much for me and I’ll never be able to express how grateful I am for it.” 

“I’m the one that should be thanking you!” Cindy shakes her head, “You’re so supportive of all of us and do so much for the whole family, but especially Tobin. I’ve loved watching your relationship grow to this point and I’m so excited to watch it continue growing as a married couple. You’re perfect for each other and it makes me so happy to see you guys happy.” 

“Tobin makes me so happy. I’m so lucky to have her!” 

“Tobin says the exact same thing about you!” Cindy recalls, making Christen smile. “You’re both lucky to have each other! If there’s one thing that I learned over the years, it’s that life is way too short to spend time arguing over small things that don’t need to cause fights. I told Tobin this too, so please remember that over the years and just love each other.”

“We will!” Christen nods softly. “I know things haven’t exactly been easy on my part, but you’ve always treated me like your own and that’s something I’ll never be able to repay you for. I’m sorry that you don’t get to meet my family, I’d change that if I could.” 

“I don’t ever want to hear you apologize for that!” Cindy gives her a stern look, “Don’t ever let someone treat you that way, it’s not right. You should never have to hide who you are!” 

“Your family is whoever you want it to be, Christen. Sometimes that might be blood, sometimes it might not be, and sometimes it might be both, but it’s always family.” She continues, “And I promise you that one family you’ll  _ always  _ have is the Heath one. You’ve already had it all this time, but you’re Christen Heath now so that makes it more than official!” 

“You’re a Heath now! How crazy is that?” Cindy gently shakes her shoulders. 

“I wouldn’t want to be in any other family!” Christen smiles brightly. 

“And if you ever work things out with your family, just know that we’ll welcome them with open arms!” Cindy tells her, showing Christen that she’s sincere. “I wouldn’t let something like this go so easily, but I trust you and whatever decisions you’re going to make in the future. So don’t ever be afraid to admit something like this to us and if it ever comes to that, then Jeff and I will be right behind you to support you.” 

“Thank you!” Christen tells her honestly, even if she doesn’t have much hope for that ever happening. 

“But I’m just warning you now, that if they ever hurt you again, then they won’t live to see daylight anymore.” Cindy jokes, only half being serious about her statement, even if she knows that she’d definitely be reaching out to them if she hears any negative stories about them. 

“You need to be here to meet your future grandchildren instead of sitting in jail after wasting your time on closed-minded people.” Christen laughs, “They aren’t worth that, trust me.”

“Alright, but I’ll still be paying them a visit and teaching them a lesson if they do.” She gives Christen a pointed look. 

\-------

Kelley clears her throat as she stands in the middle of the floor, microphone and paper in hand, looking over in Christen and Tobin’s direction. 

Her eyes scan the room as she starts talking. “First of all, I’d like to thank everyone for being here today!” She announced proudly, before lowering her voice a little and mumbling into the microphone. “Even though that’s the matrons of honor’s jobs...which should have definitely been me.” 

“Me and Jeffrey were the only ones who deserve it!” Will calls out, making Kelley’s tilt her head in his direction. 

“Shut up, Will.” She comments casually, getting ready to move on with her speech and get started. 

“It’s true!” Jeffrey agrees, “We were robbed.” 

“Who’s idea was it to introduce those two?” Kelley groans, “I’ve already had to deal with Will for one too many years, but now it’s like two immature kids just being annoying.” 

“Blame Tobin.” Will shrugs, looking in the woman’s direction. 

“It was Fran’s idea!” Tobin jokes, trying to push the blame on someone else. 

All she can hear is a “Wow, hold up!” coming from the table next to her, before everyone starts laughing. 

“It’s okay, I’ve got your back, Fran!” Kelley winks at the older woman, before turning more serious again and getting back on track. “On a serious note, I can’t thank you all enough for being here today. It means the world for me to watch my best friends get married and to see everyone supporting them.” 

“Christen!” Kelley lets out a deep sigh, “Where do I even start?” 

“Maybe with when our friendship started!” Kelley suggests, getting into her speech. “Some people might argue that it started way later, but I definitely think it started from the moment you walked into our dorm room and said  _ you’re not supposed to be here. _ ” 

“Imagine your first impression of Christen being that she’s rude! Seems impossible, right? Well, I can confirm that it isn’t.” She chuckles as she reads out the next sentence, “I actually texted my best friend from high school that night and said that I was stuck with, and I quote, ‘ _ a bratty private school girl, whose parents are rich’. _ ” 

“When she apologized to me the next morning, I simply ignored her and walked away...so that’s how this friendship started!” 

“After Christen decided she’d just accept them mixing up the dorms and not rooming her with a teammate - her saying she’ll just stay with me and not make the fuss to change now - I was glad to hear her say that luckily it’s only for the year, so it can’t kill her.” Everyone starts laughing at that, Christen shrugging when Tobin gives her a look. “So to every person in this room that thinks Christen is this sweet human being that never hurt a fly...she’s actually a devil and I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s being paid to be my friend.” 

“Chris! She’s revealing all of our secrets!” Karen calls out to Christen, making Kelley flip them both off. 

“The first time she had a real conversation with me was almost a week later, where Christen apologized again and I decided to stop teasing her and just be nice. This was mostly likely because I felt bad for how desperately she wanted to be my friend!” 

“Our non-existing friendship almost fell apart again ten minutes later, when I told Christen that I can’t wait for my first party at College, just for her to tell me that she couldn’t think of anything worse. What kind of eighteen-year-old hates parties?” 

“Anyway, so she was strange, but I put up with it. And then somehow living with me can’t have been all that bad, considering we went on to live together for another three years, which was Christen’s idea, not mine!” 

“Although that was a pretty rough life too. I had to put up with living with a record breaking College athlete wanting to turn pro, who ate nothing but healthy food. She never trusted me to go grocery shopping, which was probably for the best as we’d end up with nothing but crap food.” 

“Fast forward to our Sophomore year, where I  _ finally  _ convinced Christen to come to a party with me. I was still more excited than Christen, considering she said she’s driving as she doesn’t want to drink, just to then announce that we're leaving fifteen minutes after we arrived.” 

“No fun that girl, I tell you!” Kelley jokes, “Tobin, you can be glad you didn’t know Christen in College. The girl would have made you yawn.” 

Tobin chuckles, kissing Christen’s cheek and squeezing the hand that’s holding Christen’s under the table. “Never.” She whispers to her, before kissing her cheek one more time.

“College flew by, way too fast for my liking. Christen beat records, got straight A’s and was everyone’s favorite, whilst I was out having the time of my life at random parties and making Christen tutor me, so I could actually pass my classes...sorry, mom!” 

“The next thing we know is that we’re both seniors and Christen only has four games left at Stanford. So there was Cody, Stacy and me in the stands, with our Stanford jerseys on, cheering louder than anyone else at the game. I’m actually convinced that I was always louder than BD, but he’d never agree with that.” 

“You could hear Cody all the way from Canada.” Charles jokes, making Kelley nod with a shrug. 

“Two weeks before that day, you  _ finally  _ got a call from Vlatko, telling you that you’d been invited to come to the National Team training camp in Ohio. Knowing you’d worked your way all the way up to the top, from playing for the Youth National Team to receiving the call-up, it was just incredible for you to have your dream come true.” 

“I think we both cried and jumped with happiness for hours. So here we were at this game and in the eighty-ninth minute you go down, and you don’t get back up. I could tell you were trying to, but your ankle gave up every time you as much as moved it.” 

“From there on, it was a rollercoaster. You were in the hospital for surgery, and then in and out for physio and scans, just for them to tell you that they don’t think you’ll ever be able to play again.” 

“The first thing you said was  _ I will.  _ You were supposed to enter the NWSL draft, you had pro contract offers from two teams in Sweden and, of course, the National Team call-up.” 

“When they told you that playing again would mean at least no training for six to seven months, or even more, and then an over fifty percent chance of needing another surgery within a year after that, due to your ankle no longer being strong enough to take the amount of training that goes into being a professional athlete, you knew that you had to make a choice and that your dream wasn’t that realistic anymore.” 

“That’s how eventually you ended up in your teaching job at Palos Verdes High School…see that major in Education did come in handy.” 

“After always having everyone’s workload on your back there, I begged Kristie to have a look into you when our PE teacher left and to consider you for the job. I knew you were going to be perfect for it after seeing how hard you work every single day. The begging wasn’t really necessary, since Kristie agreed right away, but whatever. I like to be dramatic.” 

“Finding out that you got the job in the end, was honestly very unsurprising, but I was  _ so  _ happy! And then finding out that you were going to move house and be even closer to me made it even better! You just kept giving me better and better opportunities to annoy you.” 

“So time goes on and you settle in at Mira Costa and then someone else ends up leaving at work. That’s how Tobin ended up with a job here - apart from the fact Tobito is insane and moved places before getting the job, instead of waiting until she’s done the interview first, like a normal person would.” 

“I think I frightened the life out of Tobin on the first day I met her, after launching myself at Christen when she walked in through the door with Tobin.” 

“Tobin didn’t talk to me  _ at all. _ She didn’t say a single word to me for ages.” Kelley laughs at the memory, “Christen would sit there for hours at my house, talking to me about Tobin this, Tobin that, Tobin mentioned this and Tobin did that, and all sorts of things. It got to the point where I asked if I was hallucinating, because Christen had so many stories to tell and I didn’t even know Tobin’s full name.” 

“Eventually, Tobin did start speaking to me more and more, and all of the sudden I was wishing I could go back to the more peaceful times. I’m joking...obviously.” 

“She started texting me, more about Christen than anything else, but it was progress. But that’s how I lost my best friend, because all of the sudden she was always spending time with Tobin instead now. I did consider being upset about that and telling Tobin that I’m Christen’s favorite person, but I’m not stupid, so it really didn’t take me very long to spot their heart eyes for each other.” 

“I remember the first time I saw the way Tobin looked at Christen, and my first thought was  _ good luck with that _ . Christen’s religion was being against dating. The woman hadn’t dated anyone in three years at that point, and if anyone thought they could even buy her a drink or ask her on a date, they stood no chance.”

“I thought my best shot at getting them to date was letting Tobin spend time with Christen, as much as it pained me to not randomly walk into Christen’s house for no reason every day. Christen and I used to have this joke - well, it was my joke and it just annoyed Christen, but I still find it funny. I’m not going to embarrass her by saying it now, but I can tell by the look on her face right this second, that she knows exactly what I’m talking about.” 

“When I used to say this to her, she gave me the same response every single time. It had been the same thing since we were eighteen, until that one day where she just avoided answering me and looked away. That’s how I knew for sure that Christen liked someone, and it wasn’t hard to guess that this someone would be Tobin.”

“Tobin made my life a lot easier. She woke me up at five in the morning, just to text me and ask what kind of stuff Christen likes and where she could take her. That ended up being a day that Christen still hadn’t finished gushing about a year later, so I’m going to guess that it went well.” 

“Somewhere along the way of Tobin becoming Christen’s personal body guard because of the way she protects her and Christen becoming Tobin’s shoulder to lean on, Tobin broke down Christen’s little shell and they started dating. Whilst it took them  _ way  _ too long to tell me that they were officially together, Christen calling me at two o’clock in the morning, a few days after I found out, might have been the highlight of it all. The little  _ I-will-never-date-anyone-again  _ Christen was on the phone to a very crabby me - as expected when someone wakes you up in the middle of the night - just to announce that she’s so in love with Tobin and couldn’t sleep because she just needed to tell someone about it, but she wasn’t ready to tell Tobin yet.” 

Christen shrugs as if to say  _ what else was I supposed to do. _

“You’ve had so many obstacles thrown at you throughout the years you’ve been together now and you’ve never once let it break you. Well, apart from that one time when you had your first argument, but I told Christen that she was being an idiot and I managed to knock some sense into her.” 

“Being there to celebrate you guys for your engagement and now being here to celebrate your marriage means more than anything to me. You both hold such a special place in my heart and the happiness you’ve found in each other can’t ever be compared to any other. I’ve always believed in everyone finding their person, the person that they love more than anything and that they want to spend the rest of their lives with, but one thing I never believed in was soulmates. I just never understood how something like that would be possible. That was until you two happened. Watching you both fall in love and seeing how you’re truly meant to be together is something I won’t ever be able to describe.” 

“You’re perfect for each other and I can’t wait to continue watching your journey together. I’m beyond thankful to call you both not only my best friends, but also my family. I’m so lucky to have a front row seat to your love and to have you both in my life forever. I love you guys so much and I wish you all of the happiness, health and love in the world. Thank you for letting me be part of your big day!” 

Kelley finishes her speech, walking over to the couple whilst everyone else cheers at her. She pulls them both into a hug, closing her eyes and feeling so lucky to make this memory with them. 

“I’m so happy for you both!” She whispers, both of them smiling. 

“Love you, Kel.” Christen squeezes her hip as she pulls back again, Tobin moving out of the hug too. 

_ \--- _

The guests leave eventually. After a night of dancing, speeches, tears, laughter and alcohol, it’s quiet again. They’d said a warm goodbye to everyone on their way out, knowing they won’t see any of their friends again until they arrive in California again after their honeymoon. 

They’re staying on-site of their venue one more night, before driving home tomorrow, and then leaving for their honeymoon. Their honeymoon was going to be nine days in Hawaii, something Christen eagerly agreed to, knowing that it had always been Tobin’s dream to go to Hawaii. Tobin had managed to find them the perfect place to stay, with the ideal mixture of the chance to relax, lie on the beach and spend some peaceful time together, as well as the chance to go hiking, exploring in nature and surfing. They’re both more than excited to go, knowing that this is likely going to be the only time they find themselves in Hawaii. But for now, they were more than content to have the night all to themselves and spend a final night in the cottage. 

Tobin is lying on top of the duvets, looking through the pictures from today that their friends had posted on Instagram, whilst she waits for Christen to return back to the room. Despite it being a little later, they both still have so much adrenaline and excitement inside of them that they’re nowhere near ready to even consider going to bed. Although they both know that won’t be an issue, since going to sleep is definitely not on the forefront of their minds tonight. 

She feels Christen jump onto the bed, landing half way on top of her. 

“Ouch!” Tobin whines, even though Christen’s landing on the duvet was so soft that it didn’t hurt in the slightest. She ignores her, continuing to look through Instagram in an attempt to tease Christen, but the younger woman tries her best to move the phone out of the way again. 

Christen groans with annoyance when Tobin still pretends to be busy, having to laugh since she was only planning to be on her phone until Christen was ready anyway, just being excited to spend some quality time with her tonight. She was planning on putting it away the moment Christen entered the room anyway, but somewhere along the line she decided that teasing her wouldn’t hurt. 

She continues to try and move Tobin’s phone, making it her turn to groan with annoyance. 

“ _ Stoppp. _ ” Tobin whines through a laugh.

“You’re my wife now, which means that I can annoy you even more, because you’re not going anywhere!” Christen grins at her, lightly tugging on the phone one more time.

Tobin shakes her head into the pillow, “I don’t think it works like that!” 

“I think that’s exactly how it works.” Christen defends. Tobin picks up the pillow next to her, dropping it on her face and mumbling into it. “I didn’t sign up for this.” 

Christen laughs, lying down on top of Tobin. She lifts the pillow up, replacing it so her face is hovering above Tobin instead. “I’m not sure the thirty-day return policy applies to marriage.” 

“Darn it!” Tobin hisses. 

“Is that you saying you’re already sick of me?” Christen raises her eyebrow, giving Tobin a daring look. 

“Never!” Tobin smiles, pulling Christen into a kiss. 

“Better not be.” Christen huffs, taking the phone that’s now lying on the bed and unlocking it. She smiles at the group picture of them with their friends, something that Julie had been quick to post. 

“You’re so beautiful.” She looks at Tobin in the picture, lifting her head up and looking at the real thing instead. “I know I’ve already told you this a million times now, but I love that dress on you so much.” 

“Babe, your wedding dress was perfect.” Tobin turns the phone slightly so she’s able to look at the screen too. “I had to pinch myself just to keep my emotions at least a little in check.” 

“Yeah, you did a terrible job at that part.” Christen admits, making Tobin laugh at the same time as Christen does. She thinks back to how Tobin started crying the minute she saw Christen in her dress, having to remind herself that Christen is real and standing in front of her. 

“You weren’t much better.” Tobin announces and Christen can only agree with that, knowing very well that she’s smiled the brightest she ever has today, and also had a flood of tears running down her cheeks when she first saw Tobin and during the ceremony. She’s never been more grateful for waterproof mascara than today. 

Christen leaves a kiss on Tobin’s jaw and then gets up from the bed, walking through to the small kitchen and pouring two glasses of champagne. She stops in the doorway of the bedroom, with both of the glasses in hand. 

“Should we go and sit by the fire pit outside?” Christen suggests, putting on her sliders as she waits for Tobin to get off the bed too. Tobin gets up and moves past her, grabbing one of the soft blankets and taking it with her. 

She grabs one of the chairs on the deck, moving it down onto the stones by the fire pit. Christen waits for Tobin to get settled into one of the seats whilst she holds their glasses, watching as Tobin sits down. 

“Come here.” Tobin opens her arms out, waiting for Christen to come closer. She places both glasses on the small table next to the chair, sitting down and curling up sideways on Tobin’s lap. She feels a blanket cover her body, Tobin throwing it over them so it keeps them a little warmer. 

Christen sneaks one of her arms out from under it, reaching forwards. She passes Tobin her glass before retrieving her own. 

“Here’s to us!” Christen raises her glass. 

“To forever!” Tobin grins as she raises her glass too. 

“To forever.” Christen repeats as she leaves a soft kiss on Tobin’s lips. She takes a few sips from her glass before moving it back to the table. 

Christen leans into Tobin, sitting in silence as Tobin runs her hand up and down her back. She looks around in the darkness, the small area outside of the cottage being lit up by the fire and the fairy lights that connect from tree to tree. It’s so quiet and peaceful, that all she could hear was the sound of the wood burning. 

“This looks so pretty.” Christen sighs contently, moving her head and looking up at the stars. 

“It does.” Tobin easily agrees, “It looks amazing.” 

“Today was perfect.” She comments as she kisses Tobin’s cheek. She takes Tobin’s free hand into her own, twisting the wedding band on it. “You’re my wife!” Christen repeats once again, as if she still doesn’t quite believe it. 

Christen feels the butterflies in her stomach as Tobin leans her head into Christen’s, speaking softly to her. “I’m so lucky to spend the rest of my life with you.” She smiles into Tobin’s neck. “I’m just going to keep telling you that every single day.” 

“I hope everyone gets to experience a love like this in their life!” Christen admits honestly after a few moments of silence. “Finding your soulmate and the love of your life is incredible, but getting to marry them is even better. I’d give anything up for this and I’d do anything to have you.”

Tobin hums with a nod, agreeing with Christen. “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been since I met you. You’re my whole world, babe.” 

“You know Kelley would be making fun of us right now.” Christen chuckles, lifting her head and looking up at Tobin. 

“She already makes fun of how soft we are with each other when we’re around her, so she doesn’t want to see us when we’re by ourselves.” Tobin laughs along with Christen, thinking about their crazy friend. 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Christen shrugs, “I’ll take this over us fighting with each other any day.” 

“We have over twenty years without each other to make up for, so we have an excuse.” Tobin pulls the blanket around Christen a little higher when she sees her shiver, rubbing her arms in an attempt to warm her up. “Do you think Kelley and Emily ever want to get married or have kids?” 

Christen knows that Tobin is just curious. She’s only met Emily three times now, including earlier that day, so she doesn’t know the woman all that well yet. She doesn’t know the dynamics of their relationship or how different and similar they are, so instead she’s asking the one person that met Emily before her and Kelley even officially started dating. 

“No.” Christen shakes her head without hesitation, “Married? Maybe. Kids? No.” 

“I think with them being long distance and just how their relationship is with each other, I can’t see them getting married before Emily moves to LA. Kelley mentioned something once about her planning to move out here once her contract is up, which is in a year I think, but I’m not sure if any of that has changed. They both want to settle down at some point though, so I can definitely see her moving in with Kelley at some point.” Christen tries to think back to her and Kelley’s conversation about it. “I don’t even know if they still want to get married, but if they do, they’ll probably just have a small celebration without an actual ceremony or wedding reception.” 

“Yeah, I can see that.” Tobin nods, easily being able to imagine that. “I don’t think they’d officially get engaged either.”

“Me too.” Christen agrees, “They love each other and they’ve both said that they wouldn’t want to be with other people, but they’re more than content to just live separate lives for now and see each other when they can. If we’d have a couple’s spectrum, then they’d be on the complete opposite side to us, but they’re happy and that’s all that matters. I guess it’s like at the World Cup last summer. Just because we couldn’t imagine spending over a month apart with a completely different time zone, like Emily, Serv and Zach did, doesn’t mean other couples are the same.”   
  


“Different relationship dynamics.” Tobin hums, “We balance being individuals and being a couple best when we’re in the same place but still free to spend time by ourselves or with the other, whilst others might have different opinions or need some time apart. It’s not as if we don’t spend any time alone, we just tend to do that whilst still being together at the end of the night and knowing that the other person is only a phone call or text away throughout the day.” 

“Yeah, that’s what I meant with Emily and Kel. They spend a lot of time together, just by flying back and forth most weekends, but it’s not bothering them or getting in the way of their relationship. They’re so used to it now that it’s just part of their routine and life.” She shrugs, “And then about the kids, they’ve both never wanted kids. Kelley just always says that she’s going to be the cool aunt.” 

Tobin laughs, “She’s already the cool aunt to Isaac.” 

Christen’s head snaps up again, raising her eyebrows at Tobin. “What? We’re the cool aunts!” 

“We’re obviously the favorites.” Tobin laughs at how offended Christen got from a joke about their one-month-old nephew. “I can’t wait to watch him grow up. I’m so happy to be around and get to see all the small moments that I missed with Cole, Kayden and Ellie.” 

She smiles whilst leaving the comment, not having had the opportunity to live close to either of her siblings since they had kids, meaning she missed so many little moments. Now though, she’s only living a drive away from her sister-in-law’s house, giving her the perfect chance to watch Isaac’s every move and give him all the love in the world. Tobin’s already signed herself up as Tyler’s babysitter for the future, something that happened faster than Christen was able to blink. 

Tobin loves being close with both families and constantly keeping up with them, and the one thing she never wants in the future is for any of Tyler, Channing or her children to feel like they’re missing something. She never wants them to feel like their family can’t be complete, just because they won’t have two sets of grandparents there. So if that means spending even more time together and spoiling her nieces or nephews whilst they’re growing up, then that’s what she’ll do. It also just gives her an excuse to be around more than necessary and to buy way more than necessary too. 

“I wish I could have met them when they were younger. I love them so much.” Christen admits, thinking about all the things she missed out on up until now. “Stealing my heart must run in the Heath family.” She jokes, making Tobin laugh. 

They finish their drinks, eventually getting up and walking back inside once the wood is almost fully burned. Tobin moves her hands down Christen’s back when they’re standing in the kitchen afterwards, slowly bringing them to their target. She was getting handsy now, just wanting to touch the younger woman. She keeps remembering how seeing Christen in her wedding dress took her breath away in an instant.

“You know, I think I’m feeling a little tired tonight.” Christen jokes, shrugging as if to say  _ oh well. _

“No chance.” Tobin chuckles, being able to see right through Christen. “I’m not planning on letting you get your long beauty sleep tonight.” 

“Oh no?” Christen replies in a slightly husky voice, making Tobin kiss her right away. 

A lot later that night, when they’re both past the point of exhaustion, Tobin blinks heavily whilst staying awake. 

She smiles softly at how they’ve somehow made sure to lie in a position that wouldn’t allow any space between them - Tobin holding Christen from behind, their hands intertwined on Christen’s stomach. 

She feels Christen’s breathing even out, indicating that she’s asleep now. Tobin just lies there, replaying the day in her mind. 

Feeling Christen’s body on hers, hearing the soft puffs of air she’s letting out and feeling how tightly Christen is holding Tobin’s hand in her own is making her feel  _ so  _ lucky. 

She lifts her head slightly to look down at Christen. It’s nothing new - this feeling - but she realizes how truly happy Christen makes her once again. She thinks about how she never has to live another second of her life without her, about all of the amazing adventures they’re going to experience together in life and the future that they’re going to share. She’s the one that gets to spend the rest of her life with Christen. She’s the one that gets to hold her, hug her close, kiss her, touch her and talk about everything with her. Not only that, but she’s also the  _ only  _ person that gets to do any of those things with Christen. These feelings are something she hoped for all her life, but now that she has them, they;re a million times better than she could have ever imagined. 

She nuzzles her head into the back of Christen’s neck, leaving a light kiss there and closing her eyes with a smile on her face. 

\------

Christen wakes up first the next morning, lying in bed for half-an-hour and just staying in Tobin’s arms.

After a while, she gets up to make them both a coffee, before heading back to bed and placing the cups on their bedside tables. 

Tobin appears to have moved when Christen got up - now lying on her stomach. She lies down next to Tobin, waking her up with a path of kisses on her back. 

Tobin slowly drifts into consciousness, lifting her head up. She keeps her eyes half closed, looking around with confusion before dropping her head back down again. 

“What?” Tobin mumbles when she hears Christen giggle at her sleepy look. 

Christen shakes her head, “Nothing, you’re just cute.” 

“I’m tired.” Tobin argues, “I swear we just went to sleep five minutes ago.” 

“Would some coffee help?” Christen offers, Tobin humming in response. “I made you some, it should still be warm.” 

Tobin sits up at that, slowly rubbing her eyes. She blinks a few times, trying to adjust to the morning sun shining into the room. 

“Thanks, babe.” Tobin responds, kissing her cheek before reaching over for the cup. 

They both sit up against the headboard, coffee in hand and quietly talking whilst Tobin tries to wake up, just keeping her head on Christen’s shoulder for most of the time and trying to gain the strength to lift it so she can drink her coffee. 

She turns her phone on afterwards, wanting to message their friends in the group chat. 

**The Crew**

**Christen Press :** Wow, we’re both still in complete shock. This feels so surreal and everything about yesterday was more perfect than we could have ever imagined or planned for. It meant the world to have you guys there and we’re both so overwhelmed with all of the support we got yesterday. Thank you for the constant love and support, and for the best friendship. You’re all such a big part of our lives and truly are our chosen family. We were so blessed to have you celebrate us yesterday and can’t wait for everything that’s to come for all of us in the future. You’ve been there every step of the way with us, from our friendship and the beginning of our relationship to our engagement and wedding. Thank you, thank you, thank you! And Kel, I think you already know how much your speech meant to us after the very emotional goodbye, but in case you’ve forgotten overnight, it was everything. We love you guys so much. 

\- Tobs & Chris 

**Alex Morgan :** Thank you for letting Serv and I be part of your big day. It meant just as much to us two as it did to both of you. Love you T&C...or should I say Mrs and Mrs Heath? 😉

**Zach Ertz :** We’re so happy for both of you! You’re the best people and deserve this happiness so much. Jules and I are beyond grateful to have had the chance to celebrate your love with you. I hope married life treats you guys well. Don’t forget to still love each other when you’re old, boring and grey. 

**Rachel Daly :** It was the most magical day, thank you so much for letting me be part of it. I’m still crying at the thought of you guys being married. I’m so lucky to call you both my friends. 

**Kristie Mewis :** Thank you for inviting me and letting me celebrate your love. Yesterday was such a beautiful day! Go and have the most amazing honeymoon together, take lots of pictures of Hawaii for us and we’ll see you when you get back. I love you both. 

**Kelley O’Hara :** Being there yesterday meant the world to me. I just keep looking back at the pictures and getting emotional all over again. You’re the most beautiful couple and you’re perfect for each other. Thank you for letting me be part of your lives everyday. I loved being able to write a speech for you guys and it’s something that I’ll never forget. I couldn’t be more thankful to have been such a big part of your day. See you all when I get back from DC in a few weeks. 

Christen and Tobin read through all of the messages, responding to each one and then deciding to move back under the covers and just cuddle together. 

“We need to check out soon.” Christen pouts when she eventually checks the time on her phone, not feeling ready to leave their little bubble yet. 

“Let’s shower first.” Tobin suggests, holding her hand out for Christen to take it after standing up. “We can pack afterwards.” 

An hour later and their baggage is in the car, with Tobin keeping her camera out so she can take some more pictures, just like she’d done the previous day. 

They go for a walk around the vineyards when they see that they still have twenty minutes until they’re planning to meet with their family, having planned a small picnic as brunch. 

They both stand there for a long moment, just taking in the view ahead of them. Christen takes a step away when she sees the time, slowly starting to move away in the direction of the path and waiting for Tobin to catch up. 

Tobin reaches out for Christen’s hand, pulling her back. 

“Baby, we’re gonna be late and I don’t want them to have to wait on us.” Christen calmly tells her, trying to get Tobin to start walking back back again too. 

“We’re fine, we’ll be there on time.” Tobin shakes her head, pulling her close and into a kiss. Christen melts when she feels Tobin wrap her arms around her neck, trying to pull her closer. 

It’s soft and short, but it’s everything Christen needs in that moment. Before Christen can even register that Tobin pulled away from the kiss, she’s moving past her and tugging on her hand. “Come on, slow coach!” 

She rolls her eyes, jogging the small step to catch up with her. 

“You know that I’m mad at you, right?” Tobin announces seriously, looking over at the younger woman. 

Christen’s gives her a confused look. Tobin’s heart contracts at Christen looking vulnerable, trying so hard to rack her brain for what she could have possibly done wrong - as if she’s made the biggest mistake of her life. It makes Tobin give in on her joke, not having wanted to upset Christen in any way. 

“You didn’t get me anything for our one day anniversary!” Tobin clarifies, giving her a telling smirk. 

Christen shoves her shoulder, forcing Tobin to move a few steps away from her. “Shut it, you’re not funny!” She crosses her arms, but the sparkle in her eyes tells Tobin that she’s only kidding too. 

Just as they walk around the corner, they spot their family standing in the car park. 

“It’s a little funny.” Tobin tells her, making Christen sternly shake her head. 

“Just a tiny bit?” She tries again, lifting her thumb and index finger up to gesture it, leaving a small gap between her fingers. 

Christen chuckles, but continues to shake her head. “It was annoying, that’s what it was.” 

“Fine.” Tobin scoffs, narrowing her eyes at her wife. 

She just nudges Tobin, stepping over the curb and onto the car park. 

Tyler embraces her into a tight hug as soon as she’s close enough. “Someone sure looks like they had a good night's sleep...if it even involved much sleep.” 

Christen blushes as they pull away, making Tyler laugh. They both make their way around, giving short hugs after seeing each other again after the wedding. Jeff pulls Christen into a tight hug, but Christen just hugs him back just as tightly. They didn’t say anything, but they didn’t need to, both knowing how much yesterday meant to them. 

The group head over to the picnic area next to one of the vineyards, surprised to see it being empty with no one e;se around. They lay the picnic blankets out, sitting down in a small circle with everyone. 

Christen starts talking to James for all of two seconds before Kayden sits down on her lap. He sits there happily, just watching the adults and listening to them talking as he plays with the strings on Christen’s hoodie. She loves watching what a smiley and happy kid he is, easily being able to make him laugh. 

After they’ve all ate some food and snacks from the food they’d brought with them, Kayden, Ellie and Cole go off to play on the grass, running around and Cole trying to teach them some games he’d picked up from school during recess. 

Tobin clears her throat loudly, making everyone give her a questioning look. She doesn’t look around though, simply glancing over at Fran, who gives her a grin. 

She gets up, walking over to Fran, leaning down next to her. Fran just rolls her eyes, passing Isaac to her. She’s already held him whilst everyone else ate something and she could see the sparkle in Tobin’s eyes. 

As soon as Tobin sits back down, Cindy leans over, looking at the young boy wrapped up in Tobin’s arms. This was one of the things Christen had loved watching the most over the past couple of days. Since the day before their wedding when Cindy first saw Isaac, she’d taken every opportunity to see the child or hold him. She’d constantly been around Tyler and Will, offering them any help when Will’s parents weren’t around at that moment. She was there to offer any advice to them, just to hold him whilst one of them was busy, and to feed him from his bottle when Tyler and Will were also trying to eat. 

It reminds Christen of Cindy telling her that she’ll always welcome her family with open arms. She’s so lucky to have such amazing in-laws and just seeing how Cindy is with a child that isn’t blood related to her, just makes her excited to see her in the future. 

Christen pulls out her phone, sneakily taking a picture of the trio and then leaning into Tobin’sother side. 

“He’s adorable!” Tobin comments, looking down at the boy’s small face. 

“Can he always stay this small?” Christen frowns, being excited for him to grow up but simultaneously never wanting the months of him being this small to end. 

“Sadly not.” Cindy laughs, “But just think of all the years you’ll have of him growing up and going through the stages Kayden and Cole are at now. I’ll guarantee you’ll love him just as much then as you do now.” 

“I adore all four of them.” Christen sighs contently, leaning a little closer. “They bring so much happiness and joy into my life. I don’t know how to explain it, but I love getting to be their aunt and having them trust me.” 

Cindy smiles at Christen’s words, whilst Tobin kisses Christen’s temple, whispering against her skin. “You’re the best aunt they could ever wish for.” 

“Do you wanna hold him?” She wonders when she leans back again, receiving a grin from Christen. Tobin carefully passes Isaac over, trying not to wake him up in the process. 

“I wanna have a look at Isaac!” Cole announces, coming up behind them. He makes his way over to Christen, kneeling in front of her. 

“He’s so small.” Cole whispers quietly, not wanting to wake the boy. 

“That’s how small you were too, bud.” Tobin tells him. Cole reaches his hand out, gently running his fingertips along Isaac’s hand. He chuckles when Isaac’s small fingers lightly grip onto his. 

Cole doesn’t complain, just sitting down and keeping his finger there. “Was Kayden this small too?” 

“Yeah, everyone is when they’re born.”

“So you and auntie Chrissy were tiny too?” 

Tobin nods with a hum. “Yep! When my mommy gave birth to me, I was super small and when Christen’s mommy gave birth to her, she was super small too.” 

“Who is your mommy?” He tilts his head at Christen, clearly trying to remember if he knows her. Tobin looks at Christen, trying to figure out her feelings about the question. 

“My mommy is called Stacy, but I don’t see her anymore.” She tries explaining it as simple as possible, not wanting to confuse him. 

“Why don’t you? She’s your mom!” 

“She is.” Christen nods, “But sometimes things happen and then we end up with other people in our lives. I still have family though and I have some amazing friends too.” 

“We’re your family.” He shuffles a little closer, as if it would comfort Christen.

“You are! You’re the best family I could ever ask for.” She tells him, watching as Cole gives her a massive grin at Christen’s response. 

He looks up again, suddenly remembering something else. “And you have auntie Toby. Toby always says that she loves you.” 

“I love her too.” She gives him a soft smile before looking down at Isaac again, moving her arm slightly so she’s supporting his neck better. 

\-------

They find themselves back in the car park two hours later, cabs and cars waiting as they say their goodbyes. 

“Do you hafta go?” Cole frowns, holding onto Christen a little tighter. 

“I do, but I’m gonna see you again very soon, okay? I promise it’s only a few months and then you get to see me and Toby again.” 

“But that’s so far away. I want to see you now.” 

“How about we FaceTime you when we’re home again in two weeks? You can ask your mommy to call us at any time and we’ll talk to you!” 

“Okay.” He sighs, not being satisfied with the answer but accepting it anyway. He hugs her again tightly, before going up to Tobin and hugging her too. 

Eventually they’ve made their way through everyone, Christen climbing in the driver’s seat of Tobin’s Jeep whilst she waits for Tobin to close the trunk and get into the car too. 

They pull out of their parking spot a short moment later, waving at their family as they drive away. Fran, Channing and Mikel had all came together in Mikel’s car and Tyler and Will came in their own, with everyone else having called a cab to take them to the airport. 

Tobin frowns when they make their way onto the main road, heading towards the highway. “I can’t believe it’s already over.” 

Christen reaches her hand out, intertwining their fingers. She squeezes Tobin’s hand, lifting it up to place a kiss on the back of it. “It’s not over. First we have our honeymoon in three days time and then we have a lifetime to go.” 

She looks over at Tobin for a short second. “This is only the beginning.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter, but I really hope it didn't disappoint. I kinda struggled writing this, which is one of the reasons it took me so long to update. I wanted to make the wedding quite detailed, but at the same time I wanted to leave it up to you to decide certain parts of it, so I hope I got the balance right. I did want to write Cindy's speech in this chapter too, but I thought one was enough so if anyone would be interested in reading it then I'll start writing that as part of Making Memories. (And for anything else that you would have maybe liked to read from the wedding)  
> -  
> I've also got some pictures of their wedding venue, the cottage, and their house on Tumblr so that's under the hashtag #hsmpreath in case anyone is interested in seeing those.  
> -  
> Thank you for making it this far and reading the chapter if you did! I appreciate all of the comments on the previous chapters so much!!! As always, any mistakes are mine so I apologise if you spot any.


	24. Just Getting Started

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're just getting started,  
> Let's celebrate.  
> Life is coming and I can't wait,  
> We're all gonna help each other find our way.

“Babe? ” Tobin calls out from the sofa, waiting for a response from Christen who is making their lunch by the stove. 

“Yeah?” She turns around, looking in the older woman’s direction. 

“Ash just texted me and asked if I want to go out with her and a bunch of her friends tonight.” Tobin announces as she walks over to where Christen is standing, hopping up on the counter. 

“That sounds nice!” Christen looks up at her, “Are you gonna go?” 

Tobin taps her phone, trying to think of a response to text Ashlyn. “Ehm, I’m not sure yet.” 

“It could be fun though, right?” She wonders, knowing that Tobin isn’t one for going out for drinks, but believing that Tobin will end up enjoying herself if she does go. 

Tobin thinks on it for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, you know what, I think I’ll go!” 

“Okay!” Christen gives her a soft smile, happy that Tobin gets a chance to spend some time with Ashlyn and meet some of Ashlyn’s friends for the first time. 

She hasn’t seen Ashlyn since the wedding, as Christen and Tobin only just arrived back home from their honeymoon a week ago and Ashlyn’s schedule has been busy. They’d had plans of grabbing coffee with their goalkeeper coach, Alyssa, last week as she wasn’t able to attend their wedding due to being on a family holiday, but her flight ended up being cancelled and she flew out to Chicago with her parents instead, where she’s now staying at their house for the last few weeks of summer break. 

“Do you want me to drive you there and pick you up?” Christen wonders, unsure if Ali had already agreed to taking Tobin if she’s willing to go. 

Tobin nods, “If you don’t mind.” 

Twelve hours after their conversation, Christen is waiting for Tobin in front of the bar. She’d texted Christen shortly after midnight and asked her if she could come and pick her up, not wanting to stay out any longer. 

She watches as Tobin and Ashlyn make their way out of the door, looking around with confusion before spotting Christen in the car. 

They both stumble their way into the car, Ashlyn more so than Tobin, it taking them a few tries before they make it fully inside the car. 

“Oh, we’re taking Ash home, by the way...if that’s okay.” Tobin mumbles out, trying to put her seatbelt on. 

“I figured.” Christen chuckles, looking at Ashlyn through the rear-view mirror and checking that she’s ready to go. She’d assumed that she was also going to be driving her home when she got into their car without any comment. 

She calls Ali on the way, informing her that she’s got both of them and is heading toward their house now. Ali meets them at the front door, laughing at Ashlyn's state before dragging her inside the house and thanking Christen. 

Tobin rambles on the whole way home, humming random songs and telling Christen broken stories that she has to make sense of. 

One thing that Christen’s learned over the years, is that a tipsy or drunk Tobin also means a clingy Tobin. The minute Tobin has any alcohol in her system, she’ll constantly be looking out for Christen and wanting to be near her. 

She puts the car in park before going over to the other side to help Tobin out of the car. 

Christen lets Tobin walk in front of her, which she soon realizes was a mistake, when the woman starts swaying slightly. She laughs, taking a step forward to hold her hip as they walk to the front door. 

“Hey, beautiful.” Tobin gives her a goofy smile, as if she’s just noticed that Christen is present.

Christen just smiles at her as she locks the front door again, listening to Tobin ramble on as she tries to get her shoes off. 

“You know what the best thing about being married is?” Tobin suddenly asks, completely changing the topic. 

“What?” Christen wonders, looking at Tobin. 

“The fact that everytime I see someone I realize how lucky I am all over again and that no one will ever begin to compare to you!” She proudly tells her wife. “If anyone would ever say something now, I can just flash my wedding ring in their face.”

Christen has to stifle another laugh at Tobin’s endless rambling, knowing that if she does start laughing, she’ll likely end with an upset Tobin. “Is that so? They don’t compare?” 

“Definitely not! Have you seen my wife?” Tobin scoffs. “She’s smoking hot, drop dead gorgeous and the most amazing person all at the same time...if I could marry her more than once, I totally would.” 

“Okay, baby.” Christen can’t stop the laugh escaping from her mouth, “I’d marry you more than once too, but I think it’s time to go to sleep.” 

“Awh, man!” She pouts, disappointedly dropping her shoulders but continuing on as normal. She walks up the stairs in front of Christen, who lets out a deep breath when Tobin eventually makes it up to the top without falling.

\------

Christen wakes up early the next morning, with a warm body in her arms. 

She looks down at Tobin, about to get up, when she sees how deeply asleep the woman is. It makes her soften a little and give in to her plan of getting up early. She rests her head back down onto the pillow, pulling Tobin in closer and staying in bed for a little longer. 

Despite being more than asleep, Tobin still nuzzles her face further into Christen. 

Christen stays there for a while, not moving an inch and simply staring into the room as she takes in Tobin’s familiar scent.

Eventually, she decides that she’d have to get up now if she wants to be as productive as she’d planned for. Christen hates dragging her work on all day, instead of simply getting it out of the way first thing in the morning, so she forces herself to try and leave their warm bed. 

She slowly untangles her legs from Tobin’s and moves her hand away from where the older woman has a hold on it. Christen tries not to stir her out of her sleep, climbing out of bed quietly and leaving Tobin with a light kiss on the cheek. 

Christen pats over to the bathroom, brushing her teeth and throwing her curls up in a messy bun. She digs Tobin’s cotton shorts out of the draw, grabbing the nearest hoodie she can find and changing them for her sleep shirt. 

Quietly, she makes her way downstairs, being met with the morning sun shining through the patio door windows. 

She walks over, unlocking the doors and sliding them open, before grabbing her yoga mat from the garage and making her way outside. 

It’s only half-an-hour later by the time she makes her way back upstairs, a glass of water and tylenol in hand in case Tobin needs it. When she opens the bedroom door, she has to stifle a laugh at seeing Tobin still asleep. Shaking her head, she leaves it on Tobin’s night stand and makes her way into the bathroom to shower. 

Once she’s dressed and ready for the day, Christen grabs her laptop from where it’s charging in the living room and goes to find something for breakfast.

She ends up making herself some waffles, remembering that they’d bought a waffle maker a while ago, but only used it once so far. It was one of those things that Tobin had insisted on them buying, just for her to never use it. Christen had expected it to end up this way from the start of their discussion on whether they  _ need  _ the waffle maker or not, but she didn’t have it in her to say no to the smile Tobin had on her face. 

Tobin wakes up an hour later, having a quick shower and throwing on some clothes before making their bed and heading towards the stairs. She can’t help but smile to herself as she hears the quiet clicks of the keyboard, Christen typing away at the kitchen island with her glasses on and a look of concentration on her face. 

Tobin comes up behind her, wrapping her arms around Christen and resting her chin down on her shoulder. Christen, who had heard Tobin approaching, leans into her arms. 

“You smell good.” Tobin hums as she inhales Christen’s shampoo, leaving a kiss on Christen’s neck before turning Christen’s head to kiss her lips. 

“I made some waffles for you, by the way.” Christen announces, pointing over to the plate of waffles near the sink. 

Tobin does a small jump with excitement, grabbing them and sitting down next to Christen. 

“I forgot that we have a waffle maker!” She comments as she settles down in her chair. 

Christen chuckles, “You mean the one that you insisted on buying?” 

“Anyway…” Tobin drags out the word, looking around as if trying to act innocent. 

Christen laughs at her, turning her body further to look at Tobin. “How are you feeling, drunky?” 

“I wasn’t drunk!” Tobin argues right away, making Christen pull a face. “I don't need to see the food inside your mouth!”

“Sorry.” She mumbles, clearly still having a mouth full of food. 

“Stop it!” Christen swats her arm, making Tobin throw her hands up before speaking up again. “I said I’m sorry.” 

“ _ Tobin!  _ You’re like a little child.” Christen remarks in an annoyed tone, quietly mumbling her next words. “Not even that, because our kids will never talk with that much food in their mouth...ew.” 

Tobin swallows another bite from her waffle, having to start laughing at Christen. 

“It’s not funny!” She tells her in a stern voice, “It’s really freaking annoying and disgusting.” 

“Okay, moody.” Tobin smirks, Christen shooting her a look within a split second. 

Tobin slowly looks away again, knowing she’d just been purposely teasing Christen for the past two minutes. “I’m gonna stop pushing my luck now.” 

“That sounds like a great idea.” 

She smiles before moving back to their original topic. “I wasn’t drunk though!” 

“Whatever you say…” Christen tells her in an unconvinced voice. 

“Maybe a little tipsy at most, but definitely not drunk. I’m feeling good today!” Tobin claims, “No hangover, no headache, nothing!” 

“Good.” Christen smiles, leaning over to kiss Tobin’s temple as the older woman goes back to happily eating her waffles. 

“They were so good, thanks babe.” Tobin walks over to the dishwasher, opening it and placing her glass and plate inside. 

Christen shuts her laptop when Tobin walks back over, turning towards her so she can take a break and talk to her instead. “How was it last night?” 

“Good, Ash’s friends were all really nice.” Tobin nods, “There was someone called Leyla, who I was talking to at one point, and I think you would have liked her. She kinda reminded me a little of you.” 

Christen looks over at her with an interest, glad to know that all of Ashlyn’s friends were welcoming and kind - not that she’d expected anything less. 

“I’ll point her out to you on Ash’s birthday.” Tobin continues. “...if I can ever remember what she looks like.” 

She chuckles through a nod. “Sounds good! As long as you had fun I’m happy.” 

“I did!” Tobin states with a smile, winking in Christen’s direction. “Never as much fun as with you though.”

“What do you want to do today? Anything in particular?” She hums after a long moment, not having anything planned today as of yet, but wanting to leave the house and do something today. 

“How much have you got left to do there?” Tobin wonders, pointing at Christen’s laptop. 

Christen opens it again, scrolling through the document. “Not much and I’ll not get it all finished today anyway, I’m just hoping to get a little more of it done.” 

“How about we go down to the soccer pitch later and play a round?” Tobin questions, seeing how sunny and warm it is today and knowing that it’s something they love doing together. 

“Oh my gosh, we haven’t played in  _ forever _ !” Christen's eyes go wide, excitement filling her at the idea.

Tobin nods at Christen’s reaction. “I bet our soccer ball is flat.” 

“Probably.” Christen chuckles, trying to think of where they left the pump to blow it up. 

“So yes? No?”

“Yes! Obviously!” She jumps up from her seat, grabbing the flat soccer ball out of the garage. 

\-------

They arrive at the public field close to the beach, which is fenced off and never that busy anyway. There’s another one in the other direction of their house, but it’s closer to the downtown area, so it tends to be full of families just coming to kick the ball around with their children. 

There’s a young girl on the other side of the field, who can’t be much older than in her early teens, working on drills by herself. Closest to them is a group of college-aged men, packing up their stuff just as Christen and Tobin walk through the small gate. 

“Let’s go on this side once they’re gone.” Christen suggests, waiting until they leave. They grab their cleats, Tobin’s which she prefers to wear when she’s coaching as she joins in on small scrimmages when they haven’t got enough players, and Christen has a pair because she constantly claimed that Tobin only won their 1v1s due to Christen being in running shoes. That’s how Tobin ended up going out and buying Christen a pair as a joke, just for Christen to find out that it doesn’t prevent Tobin from nutmegging her. 

“Alright, show me what you’ve got!” Tobin jokes, juggling the ball before passing it over to Christen. 

They love messing around and reminiscing their soccer days together. It’s their way of trying to keep up old skills and just take a break for a few hours. 

They take some shots, play 1v1s, have juggling competitions, practice some drills together, race each other in short sprints - with Tobin loving to rub in the fact that she constantly manages to successfully nutmeg Christen. 

They’re in the middle of a 1v1, Tobin heading towards the goal and aiming to get into a space so she can strike the ball, when Christen goes to defend her but instead collides with the older woman and accidentally gets wiped out. 

Christen lands on the floor in a fit of laughter, Tobin doubling over at the way Christen fell onto the ground. When she eventually catches her breath again, she makes sure to check on Christen. “I’m so sorry, are you okay, babe?” 

When Christen continues to laugh and assures her that she’s fine, Tobin reaches her hands out to help her up. They walk over to their water bottles, sitting down and catching a small break. 

Tobin watches as the girl from the other end of the field stops playing and looks at them before slowly walking over. 

“Hey.” She greets shyly, “I, uhm, just wanted to say that you guys are really good.” 

They both chuckle, Christen looking up at her and giving the girl a kind smile. “Thanks, but we’re really getting too old for this.” 

Tobin’s head shoots over to Christen’s direction. “Speak for yourself!” 

“Seriously, your nutmegs were so good.” She continues, looking at Tobin before turning to look at Christen. “And your shots were insane. I’ve never seen anyone chip the ball that well, especially from pretty much standing still.” 

“See, we’re not too old!” Tobin eagerly nods, “Maybe in a few years when we’re in our thirties, but not quite yet.” 

Christen laughs at her before turning to the girl again. She’d seen her training before and saw that she’s clearly played many times before. “Do you play soccer?”

“Yeah, I started playing when I was six.” The girl nods, “I’m actually hoping to make my high school’s varsity team this year. I know it’s a long stretch since I’m only going to be a freshman, but I want to play in college and then go pro.” 

They both know what it takes to make it onto a varsity and college team, having both experienced the process and are now going through the process every year, just on the other side of things. 

“Did you used to play?” The girl wonders, looking between both of them. 

“Both of us played in school and college.” Christen nods, speaking up first. “I played for all four years and on the youth national team.”

“And you got a full national team call up and pro contract offers in Sweden right when you ended up retiring because of your injury.” Tobin adds onto Christen’s sentence. 

Christen wouldn’t normally mention the fact that she even played for the youth national team and Tobin wouldn’t bring Christen’s success up for no reason, but they could both see that the young girl in front of them seems to want that for the future, so they wanted to give her a little hope and show her that maybe her dream isn’t as crazy or unrealistic as it seems right now. 

“I only played for my first year in college, but I did win the NCAA so…” Tobin begins with a smirk. 

Christen lightly shoves her shoulder, laughing. “Stop bragging about it.” 

“That’s my dream!” She beams, “What colleges did you play for?” 

“Stanford and UNC.” Tobin tells her, pointing to Christen first and then herself. 

“That’s awesome!” 

“I’m Christen!” She sticks her hand out, wanting to introduce herself to the girl. 

“I’m Tobin!” 

The girl politely shakes both of their hands. “I’m Sydney.” 

Christen stands up, grabbing their soccer ball again. “Want me to teach you how to aim your shots better?” She offers, knowing from experience that it takes lots of practice but always being happy to pass on the knowledge she gained over the years. It had taken her years of hundreds of shots per day to get to where she is, but she knows talent when she sees it. 

They spend the next hour playing soccer all together, going through drills that Christen and Tobin used to train when they were in college and Tobin even going on to spill her secrets on the accuracy of her nutmegs. 

“Are you good at headers?” Christen asks her, earning a shrug from Sydney. “Not that great.” 

Christen chuckles, “My college coach used to call me turtle because of the way I head the ball.” 

She goes to take a corner kick, Sydney heading the ball perfectly and it ending up in the net. 

“Dude, that was awesome!” Tobin high fives her, stepping out from the goal after volunteering to improvise as a goalkeeper. 

“You’re a forward right?” She wonders, “Because if not, I think you should ask your coach to try you out as one for a game once.” 

“Yeah, I play as a nine for my school team and club.” 

Christen walks over, coming to high five her too. 

“Since I scored, can I see your turtle header?” Sydney requests, earning a laugh from Christen. “Oh, gosh.” 

“I think we deserve to see this.” Tobin agrees, nodding with a grin. 

Christen rolls her eyes, passing the ball to Tobin so she can take the corner kick. Sydney and Tobin both end up in fits of laughter, with Christen having no choice but to laugh along. 

They sit down on the turf for a short break, giving them the opportunity to get to know Sydney a little better. 

“Thank you so much for helping me!” Sydney mentions as she takes a sip of water. “I really enjoyed playing with you both.” 

“You don’t have to thank us.” Christen and Tobin simultaneously shake their heads. 

“I just hope that I’ll be good enough next week.” She admits nervously. 

“I have this soccer camp thing at the high school I’m starting next month. I guess it’ll be used to help look for players to try out for the varsity team too, which I know is unrealistic, but I really really want to make it.” 

They both nod at the first sentence, being more than aware of the camps happening next week. It’s two full days worth of training for any freshmans that might be interested in playing for the junior varsity team, as well as any players that are starting eighth grade and will most likely go to that high school. 

It’s something most of the schools in their area have just started this year, including Mira Costa High School, as an opportunity for potential players to meet already and to give the coaches a chance to get an idea of the players before try-outs. 

“Wow, who said it’s unrealistic.” Tobin stops her right away, not wanting her to have a negative mindset. 

“Your moves are insane!” Christen speaks up too. “I was never that good at your age, trust me. Just believe in yourself and you’ll find that your playing will already start to improve even more.” 

“Yeah, you’ve got this.” Tobin agrees, “I totally believe that you can make varsity this year, but even if you don’t, that’s okay. You’ll still have three more years after this one and you’ll definitely make at least JV this time round.” 

She’s already cursing this next season in her mind, knowing that they’re going to have a hard time playing against whatever school Sydney will be attending. She’s assuming that she’ll go to one of the three high schools that are closest to their current location, all of them being in the opposite direction to Mira Costa from her and Christen’s house. 

Tobin would love to ask what school she’s starting this year, wanting to see if they’ve been much of a competition in the past, despite her team being one of the best in the league. She doesn’t want to scare her though or ask her any questions that are too private, so she leaves it at that. 

Sydney’s phone vibrates in that moment, her picking it up to check it. “Oh! My mom wants me to go home now since dinner is almost ready.” She smiles kindly at them when she stands up. “Thank you again. It was so nice meeting you both.” 

“It was great meeting you too!” They smile at her, waving as she walks away. “Good luck with next week and with the tryouts.” 

Christen turns to Tobin as soon as she’s out of their earshot. “She’s good, like good good, and not just good.” 

Tobin nods, “She sure is.” 

“I just hope she gets selected for the team.” Christen sighs, knowing that Sydney should be, but also being aware of how few freshman players can be seen in the varsity teams.

\-------

“I think we’re sorted.” Tobin announces as she walks over to Christen, both of them having organised the soccer field a little and made sure to get out any equipment they’ll need. 

“Alright, we’ve got about twenty minutes.” Christen checks the time on her watch as they stroll back towards the building. 

They walk into the office, being greeted by Alex, Kristie, Julie, Alyssa and Kelley, all of whom they haven’t seen since the wedding. They’d all been spending time with their families or on vacation throughout summer break, which didn’t leave much time for them to see each other afterwards. 

Kristie is the first one to go outside, double checking with Christen that they have all of the correct contact details. Everyone else makes their way over to the soccer field, waiting on anyone that was planning on coming to arrive. 

Christen leans over to Tobin once all the players in attendance are sitting on the turf, quietly speaking to her. “Isn’t that the girl we saw at the field last week?” 

Tobin’s eyes search the large group in front of her, spotting exactly who Christen means. “Sydney, right?” 

She nods, it all coming back to Christen at the reminder of the name. They turn to each other with a grin, recalling what Sydney had told them about wanting to trial for the varsity team at the high school she’s going to attend. 

“If she goes to Mira Costa next year, then we’re winning the league. I’m telling you now!” Tobin speaks with confidence, a slight teasing in her tone. She’s joking. Well, she’s half joking. 

Kristie clears her throat in that moment, moving slightly to the side so she could introduce them all. Alex and Julie only came along today to get some work done in the office whilst everyone else was there too. They were trying to get organized for next year, which is a lot easier in person than over FaceTime. Whilst they’re there, they all decide that both of them might as well be introduced to anyone that turns up, with the high possibility of them crossing paths at some point next year anyway. 

After Kristie introduces herself, she passes over to Christen. 

Christen stands there with a beaming smile, her stomach filling with butterflies. “I’m Mrs Heath.” She’s said the name a few times now, when she got a new passport, when she signs emails, when her school email address got changed and when she answers the phone to unknown numbers, but it seems to get more special every time. 

“Mrs Morgan.” Alex introduces. She’d changed her names a few years back, having made Morgan her middle name now, but at work she prefers to still go by Morgan. Alex had been so used to having that name as a married couple, after they both didn’t change their name when they got married, but she knew that she wanted their family to share a name one day, which was the main reason behind her changing it. 

Servando and Alex got married when Alex was only seventeen and a senior in high school, Servando having just turned eighteen and taking a gap year so he and Alex could start College together. After meeting in middle school and  _ dating  _ from the age of thirteen, they somehow managed to get their parents to consent their marriage at such a young age. 

Julie and Alyssa introduce themselves next, before reaching Tobin. “I’m Mrs Heath as well, but when I’m coaching everyone just calls me Tobin.” 

“Tobin is one of the most chill people you’ll probably ever meet.” Kristie chuckles, “So, Tobin’s our girls soccer coach, who also teaches a bit of PE and is the extra curriculum manager, but that part is all behind the scenes.” 

“Morgan and Ertz are our other two main PE teachers, who definitely don’t coach soccer, so they’ll be disappearing again in a minute.”

“Heath is the Leader of Physical Education, and she’s also our assistant coach for the soccer team. And then we have Alyssa, our goalkeeper coach.” 

Kristie finds the register, calling the names out to check if everyone is in attendance or if there’s anyone left to wait for. 

Tobin and Christen stand over her shoulder, trying to put some names to faces already. When it reaches Sydney, Tobin interrupts Kristie before she can even say her name out loud. 

“That’s Sydney.” Tobin points at the blonde-haired girl shyly sitting on the side. She notices the way she looks unsure with what to do in this foreign environment, remembering how she was the same when she first approached Christen and Tobin the previous week. 

Tobin also remembers how after they’d introduced themselves and started playing soccer with her, the girl instantly came out of her little shell and showed her funny and bubbly personality. She’s hoping that with a small amount of encouragement and teasing, she’ll be right back to that and have a ripple effect on some of the other girls.

“She’s probably too cool for you though.” Tobin jokes to Kristie. 

Kristie laughs as she ticks the name on the register. “How do you two know each other?” 

“Chris and I went down to the soccer pitch the other day and she was there so we ended up playing soccer together. We didn’t know she was going to be here today though.” Tobin explains. “Sydney’s a beast though!”

“I’m really not that good.” Sydney shrugs, looking up at them. She locks eyes with Christen, who gives her a soft smile with a quick wink, calming half of her nerves already. 

“She said that as well…” Tobin points out, “But she’s just being humble.” 

“No pressure.” She pulls a slightly unsure look. 

“Nope, there’s none.” Tobin shakes her head, “The game is supposed to be fun.”

They go out to get started, Tobin asking the girls to run a few laps to warm up. 

Throughout the first few minutes of the training, Tobin keeps half an eye on Sydney. 

There’s something that drew her to the girl when they were playing the other day. She likes her attitude and loved the way her feet work with the ball. It’s as if she was born to break the ankles of her opponents. 

It made Tobin interested to see what she’s like in a team environment and whether she has a good awareness of when to make more selfish decisions and when it’s best to not go solo. 

She can sense that the young girl is nervous. She’s playing well in everything they’ve done so far, of course she is, but there are moments where she takes a step back and lets the more confident girls in her group take over. 

Tobin walks past her when she makes her way to the other side of the pitch. She stops when she’s next to her, lightly squeezing her arm.

“No pressure remember, just have fun.” She speaks quietly, so only Sydney can hear her. “And get some nutmegs in there - the girl in the top is great, but she’s giving you the perfect opportunities to nutmeg her.” 

Sydney nods at her with a grateful, Tobin walking away after giving her a soft smile. 

She understands it, she really does. 

Tobin was always nervous for the first time too. It’s a new environment and such a big step up from playing in middle school. You feel like everything is over if you’re not going to make the team when you go for your tryouts. 

She already knows that she’s going to keep the varsity team the same, aside from filling the spots of last years’ seniors by trailing her junior varsity players or some of these freshmen, but she’s most excited to hold tryouts for the junior varsity team this year, especially looking at some of the players on the pitch right now. 

They train their way all the way through until lunch time, where they go to eat in the canteen. Kristie comes to sit down with them half way through, coming to ask about how it was going so far, before ending up lost in a completely different conversation. 

“Hey!” They hear a familiar voice from behind, watching as Rachel pulls out the free chair on their table and sits down with them. 

“What are you doing here?” Kristie chuckles, remembering leaving her girlfriend behind in their apartment this morning.

Rachel shrugs. “I got bored and it’s the offseason, so I needed some soccer in my life.” 

“Is this your way of saying  _ Kristie, please can I train on your soccer pitch for the millionth time this offseason  _ even though I tell you every time that you don’t have to ask?” She jokes, watching as Christen and Tobin start laughing. 

“I did originally think of that, but no.” She shakes her head, “I just came to watch Chris and Tobin’s soccer camp, if they let me.” 

“We all know you’ll stay, even if we say no.” Christen tells her, to which Rachel can’t do anything but agree. 

She ends up coming with them, introducing herself to all of the players, even though they all knew who she was already. 

Christen and Tobin both try to keep an eye on who they could see fitting into their current junior varsity team, knowing how well they played last season and aiming for a similar roster this year. 

“Tobs.” Christen approaches Tobin at the end of the day, just as the players were putting all the bibs aside. 

Tobin hums, waiting for Christen to speak. “Sydney…” She begins, Tobin knowing right away what she’s going to say.

“She needs to play for our varsity team!” Tobin tells her before Christen can even continue. The younger woman smiles when that was exactly what she was going to suggest. 

Christen nods, “She’ll make a huge impact and if she joins the team during her freshman year, then she’ll be the most experienced player there by her junior year and we can build the team on that.” 

Tobin agrees right away, watching as Rachel walks over to them. 

“Rach, what do you think about Sydney playing straight for the varsity team?” She asks her, “So far we’ve always made them play for junior varsity for at least a year, so we get to work with them before they play varsity, but she played better today than some of our varsity girls do.”

Christen nods once again. “Obviously we haven’t seen her play in a game before, but we know she works hard and she’s more than got it in her, so I’m sure she’ll adapt to the team in no time.” 

“Go for it!” Rachel encourages them, stating that she agrees and that it’ll definitely strengthen the depth of their team. 

Tobin lets all the girls grab their stuff from the locker rooms and change shoes before asking them to meet on the pitch one more time, so she can talk to them about what they need for tomorrow and make sure that someone is there to pick everyone up. 

She waves Sydney over before she has the chance to go to the locker room. 

“Will you definitely be coming to Mira Costa this fall?” Tobin wants to confirm with her before making any further decisions. 

Sydney nods right away. “It’s the closest school to my house and my parents went here when they were young, so definitely.” 

“Okay, will you ask whoever is picking you up to come and speak to me for a minute please?” Tobin requests.

She texts her mom, who comes out of the car and heads over to Tobin, before Sydney leaves to grab her belongings. 

“I’m guessing you’re Sydney’s mom?” She asks, wanting to confirm that she’s approaching the correct person. 

“Yes, that would be me.” The woman nods kindly, before sticking her hand out. “I’m Louise Stenson.” 

“I’m Tobin Heath, the soccer coach here.” She introduces herself before the woman moves to shake Christen’s hand too. “Christen Heath. I’m the leader of the PE department and the assistant coach.” 

“It’s lovely to meet you both. My daughter said you wanted to speak to me?” She wonders, beginning to think that Sydney may have taken a small knock during training that could require a doctor's visit. 

“Yes, we did!” Tobin confirms, “I wanted to discuss Sydney’s plans for this next school year with you. We were basically just looking for confirmation on whether she’ll be attending Mira Costa or potentially going to a different school.” 

“It’ll definitely be Mira Costa. It’s a close distance to us, easy transport and she never sits still, so when we first saw the sport facilities here, we knew she’d love it.” Louise comments as she looks around.

“Great.” Tobin nods with a smile, “So the purpose of today was mainly just to get an idea prior to try-outs. We work quite closely with all of our players, so we tend to be able to make decisions for their placement on teams prior to the year, but with freshmen it’ll take a little more time. Because try-outs are busy and we can’t focus on individual players as much, this idea was brought in to give us time to discuss where we’d want players and what we’re looking for in them.” 

“Of course it was also for the players to get to know each other and who they’ll potentially play with over the next few years, as well as just being able to walk through those doors in a couple weeks time and already have some familiar faces with both staff and students.” Tobin continues as Louise nods along, showing her she’s paying attention. 

“With that being said, Christen and I were both so impressed with the way Sydney played today. She was someone that really stood out to us and we’d love to have her part of our team. Normally, we go down the route of playing freshmen and some of our sophomores for the junior varsity team, just as the older players tend to be more experienced.” 

Christen nods, taking over when Tobin looks at her. “Instead of doing that though, we think she’d be an amazing addition to our varsity team and could help us a lot by growing as a player and helping the team grow too.” 

“So what you’re saying is you’d like her to trial for varsity instead of JV?” Louise furrows her eyebrows, trying to figure out what they were getting at. 

“Sorry, I could have made that a little clearer.” Christen chuckles, “What we were saying is that it’s not necessary for her to come along to the try-outs and instead we’d like to offer her a roster spot on our varsity team.” 

“You do?” Louise wonders with wide eyes. 

“Yeah.” Christen tells her, “We know she has the ambitions of wanting to play in College and we think this would be the perfect way to put her ahead a little in that. She’ll blend in perfectly with our varsity team, so it would be pointless to make her play the two years as part of the JV team when she’s more than capable of playing at the level of some of our seniors already.” 

“Tobin and I support the girls on our teams a lot with putting them in contact with College coaches from early on and helping them in finding the right club or academy team for them in the area if they feel they’re ready to move on from their current level.” She explains, “By having her play varsity now, not only will she get the experience from much earlier, but there’ll already be College coaches watching who are in contact with our junior and seniors, but they’ll also see that she was playing at the same level as some of the players they offered scholarships too years before she was their age.” 

“You’d really do that?” The woman wonders, slightly overwhelmed at the support they were willing to offer to her daughter. 

Tobin and Christen both nod. “We’d do this for any of our players, no matter which route they take or what their dreams are, but Sydney is extremely talented for her age and it would be a huge shame to waste that talent instead of seeing how far it can go.” 

Tobin nods before chipping back into the conversation. “By all means, if she decides she doesn’t want to play varsity right away, she’s more than welcome to play with the JV girls. We train them at the same time anyway, just with the varsity team having an additional training session and slightly more advanced ones, so it wouldn’t make a huge difference in that sense. It basically just means that she’ll get slightly more training, which is also slightly more advanced, and will be competing at a higher level.” 

“I’m sure she’ll absolutely be up for this! If I tell her now then she’ll be wanting to start training tomorrow.” 

Tobin and Christen both laugh. Louise’s gaze shifts from them, making its way over to Rachel who’s stood next to them. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to be rude, I promise.” Rachel smiles, sticking out her hand. “I’m Rachel Daly. I don’t have anything to do with this team, apart from coming to watch because I’m nosey.” 

Sydney’s mom laughs at the friendliness of the younger woman. “I know who you are!” She tells her, “Sydney’s got her LAFC Daly jersey in her bag. She always takes it to games and try outs for good luck!” 

“No way, really?” Rachel wonders with genuine shock. Even after winning two world cups, she’s surprised whenever anyone even recognizes her. 

She turns to Christen and Tobin with a hint of teasing in her eyes. “How do you feel to have such a famous friend?”

“Rachel Daly, who?” Christen jokes, making Tobin and Louise laugh as Rachel shoves her lightly. 

“Would you mind signing the jersey?” Louise requests from Rachel. 

“Of course not!” Rachel shakes her head, “I’d love to.”

Louise gets the jersey out of the bag that Sydney left her with when she went to talk to one of the girls she’d become friends with throughout the day. 

“Kristie!” Rachel yells over to the blonde woman, making her approach them. 

“Can I have your sharpie, please?” She requests, knowing that Kristie is always carrying one somewhere on her. She hands her it, leaning over to see what she’s doing. 

“Is that the plan from now on?” Kristie chuckles, “Just stroll up whilst we’re all trying to work and then taking over by signing jerseys?” 

“It’s a Daly jersey!” Rachel tells her with excitement. “Have you not seen?” 

Kristie just laughs, turning to Louise and sticking her hand out to introduce herself. They chat for a short moment until Sydney comes over again, with them saying their goodbyes and leaving Sydney’s mother to break the news to the young girl at home. 

“Chris and I just got ourselves a new varsity player!” Tobin announces to Kristie, a beaming smile on her face. “She’s like Rachel Daly, but a million times more likeable.” 

“Hey!” Rachel chips in. 

Christen and Tobin tell Kristie all about Sydney as they make their way back to the office, seeing that Alex and Julie are still there. 

“So, Chris…” Alex starts, turning her chair around to look at them once they’ve entered the office. 

Christen raises an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue. 

“How does it feel to introduce yourself as Christen Heath?” She asks her with a soft smile, watching as Christen’s face lights up and she shoots Alex a wink instead of responding. 

“My actual question was whether you’re going to stick with Press when you’re teaching or whether you’ll be Heath from now on?” Alex voices, having thought about it earlier and wanting to ask so she knows what to call Christen in front of other students. 

“Ehm, well…” Christen begins, not having thought about it in that much detail yet and simply living in the bliss of the honeymoon stage in their marriage. “For sophomores and up either name really, since they’re all used to calling me Press, but to all the freshers I’ll introduce myself as Heath from now on.” 

“Kristie and I changed my school email and name on everything where it needed changing, and then I got my passport changed, went to the DMV and the bank, and all the million other things too.” Christen’s head hurts just thinking about how her and Tobin tried to make it through the long list of people she needed to call or make an appointment with so she could officially change her name everywhere. Luckily, since they got married during summer break, they had more than enough time to do so. 

“Well, in that case, see you tomorrow, Mrs Heath.” Alex reaches her hand out for a high five as Christen walks past her after grabbing her bags and heading towards the door. 

“Bye, Al.” Christen chuckles as she reaches for the door handle so she can leave and catch up with Tobin, who already walked out a couple of minutes ago. 

\-------

They’re back at work for all of a month before Christen gets asked to attend another out-of-state meeting. 

They happen pretty regularly now, usually within the first few weeks of the school year, and then there’ll sometimes be a second one a few weeks into the new calendar year. There’s sometimes one based on schools in the region too, but that tends to be a quick day trip. 

Christen likes these meetings - she likes learning and finding new ways to become better in what she does. Tobin would much rather keep Christen at home and not let her go anywhere, but she puts up with it and just teases Christen by texting her way too many times whilst she’s away. 

The weekend before Christen is due to fly out to Utah again, Tyler and Channing arrange to go shopping with her. Tobin received an invite too, but it was quickly turned down and Tobin already had plans with Ashlyn and Ali on that day anyway. 

Channing beeps the horn of her car when she pulls up in Christen and Tobin’s driveway, having picked up Tyler on the way. 

“Babe, I think Channing is here.” Tobin calls up the stairs, knowing her wife was just grabbing some earrings before being ready. 

“I’m coming.” Christen announces as she rushes down the stairs, grabbing her shoes from the shoe rack and putting them on. 

“You look beautiful.” Tobin tells her, holding onto Christen’s waist as she places a kiss on her lips. 

“Tobs, I’m just wearing jeans and a jumper.” Christen chuckles, looking down at the black sneakers she’d paired to her black skinny jeans and a light-grey jumper. Her hair is down in natural curls - the way Tobin likes it best - and Tobin just can’t help but admire her wife. 

“Am I not even allowed to tell you that you’re beautiful anymore?” She tries to make Christen feel guilty through a pout.

“You are.” Christen grins, softly kissing the pout off her face. “And thank you.” 

They’re pulled out of their moment when the car outside honks again. “I should go before Channing comes and knocks the door down in a minute.” 

“I love you. See you tonight.” Christen grabs her purse, going to unlock the door. 

“I love you too.” Tobin smiles, waiting for Christen to leave. Before she has a chance to shut the door again, Tobin calls out her name. “Make sure we still have some money left by tonight, okay?” 

Christen just laughs, shaking her head at Tobin and hopping into Channing’s car. 

“Took you long enough!” Tyler teases as soon as Christen puts her seatbelt on. 

“I know, I know...sorry.” Christen innocently shrugs her shoulders. 

“Don’t let her fool you.” Channing chips in once she’s on the main road, “I had to wait fifteen minutes for Tyler to come out of the house.” 

“Okay, but I have a child.” Tyler tries to defend, knowing it was useless and going nowhere. 

“And I have a Tobin.” Christen tells her as a comparison, making both Channing and Tyler start laughing. 

\-------

They make their way through the mall, store-by-store, until they eventually decide to have a lunch break and grab some food. 

They find a table at a restaurant, sitting down and diving right back into conversation. 

They’re in the middle of talking about Isaac when Tyler turns to Channing with interest. She tilts her head, eyeing her as if it would give her an answer before even asking the question. 

“Do you want to have kids at some point?” She questions, waiting to hear Channing’s response. They hadn’t spoken about this topic in a long time - not with each other - so Tyler was wondering what her younger sister’s plans are. 

“Ehm, I’m not sure.” Channing shrugs.

“I wouldn’t be opposed to it as you both know how much I love children, but I just don’t feel the need to have any of my own, I guess?” She tells them. “If I were to find out that I’m pregnant at some point down the line, I’d obviously be so excited, and maybe I do change my mind one day, but as of right now, no.” 

“It’s just something Mikel and I never planned and so far that hasn’t changed.” Channing finishes, looking back at Tyler. 

Tyler nods with thought. “Interesting.”

“How come you asked me and skipped Chris?” Channing wonders when it’s clear that Tyler is about to move on with the conversation. 

“Oh, I already know Christen’s answer.” 

“Do you?” Channing raises her eyebrows at her.   
  


Tyler shrugs. “Yeah, Tobin told me.” 

“Tobin told you what?” Christen chips in, turning her head to look at her older sister sitting opposite her. “What did she say?”

“Nothing much, really.” Tyler shrugs again, “Just that you two want to have kids together.”

“We already know Christen will have the biggest family out of you two.” Channing tells them, having followed Christen’s lifelong dream of having her own family one day. 

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see.” Christen shrugs, keeping her family plans between her and Tobin for now.

“Cindy is going to be ecstatic when you guys have kids.” Tyler chuckles, just thinking about how much Cindy adores Tobin and Christen’s relationship, and how much it will mean to the older woman once she has some grandchildren from them too. 

“She’s the best.” Christen pouts, “I miss Cindy!”

“She’s so sweet.” Channing agrees, “And when she was always around Isaac…”

“Oh my gosh, she adores Isaac, Ty!” Christen gushes, “She asks about him all the time when I call her and I have to send her new pictures of him every time we see him.” 

They stay on this topic, until eventually Channing asks if her sisters were looking to search through any particular stores after they finish eating. 

“I have something I want to do, actually.” Christen remembers, “Would you mind if we go to one of the jewellery stores?” 

“Not at all.” Channing shakes her head, agreeing to go right away. “Why?” 

Christen smiles, reaching for her necklace. “Tobin gave me this necklace for my birthday - the one where you guys surprised me in New Jersey - and it has our anniversary engraved on the back of it.” She flips it over to show them. “I was planning on getting our wedding date engraved on it too.” 

Channing and Tyler both look at her with a soft smile. 

“You’re really married, huh?” Channing is still trying to comprehend the thought, even if it’s been nearly three months now. 

“Christen Heath suits you.” She adds on, looking at how much happiness radiates off her older sister. 

“The smile that comes with it suits you too.” Tyler points out, before moving on. “I heard Cindy, Jeff and Sarah are flying here next week?” 

“Yeah.” Christen nods, “I’m flying out to Utah an hour before they arrive though, so that part sucks.” 

“You’re going to Utah?” Channing questions, not having heard this part before.

“I have another week of meetings. Luckily it’s only for four days this time and not a full week.” Christen takes a sip of her soda, “Our school is shut on Monday, so I’m flying out then and I’ll have meetings Tuesday morning, all day on Wednesday, meetings Thursday morning and then all day on Friday again. So I’ll be flying home on Saturday morning.”

“Why not Friday night?” Tyler furrows her eyebrows, figuring that Christen would rather be home sooner than later. She’s someone who loves being at home and much prefers it over spending an extra night in a hotel bed. 

Christen tries to think of the easiest way to explain it, the whole flight situation being a bit more complicated when they book it through the school, but just deciding a simple explanation will do. “It was the flight that Kristie booked for me and the school doesn’t pay for red eye ones, which is what it would have been if I did fly home Friday night.” 

“Will you have a chance to see Cindy, Jeff and Sarah then?” 

“Luckily, yeah.” She can’t help but smile, being so excited to see her family again. “Jeffrey has a game on Sunday and another on the Wednesday after, so they’ll be here until Thursday morning.” 

\-------

Christen unlocks the front door, stepping into the warmth of her home. 

“Your favourite person is home!” Christen voices, earning a laugh from around the short wall by the entrance. 

“Isaac is here?” 

“Very funny.” She calls out, clearly not being impressed at all. 

Christen takes her shoes off, dropping her bags by the front door and taking another step inside. 

“Oh, it's you.” Tobin pretends to be disappointed. 

“In that case, I’ll see myself out again.” Christen raises her eyebrows, keeping stern eye contact until they both start laughing. 

She walks over to Tobin, greeting her with a quick kiss and hopping up on the kitchen counter. 

“How are Ali and Ash?” Christen wonders, looking at Tobin who’s making dinner by the stove. 

“Busy and tired, but good.” Tobin nods, beginning to tell Christen about her day with their friends. 

“They both said that we should go surfing together again soon, since we haven’t done that in a while.” She mentions when she finishes her side of the conversation. 

Christen easily agrees, realizing that they were right and they haven’t gone surfing in a while. 

Tobin proceeds to ask Christen about her shopping trip with Channing and Tyler, wanting to know how the two sisters are, after only just seeing each other at the beginning of the week.

“I have to double check the time later, but I think I have to be at the airport for-” Christen begins, before being cut off by Tobin.

“Nope, you’re not going.” Tobin tells her with a grin, “I’m not letting you go anywhere.”

“I think I  _ have  _ to be at the  _ airport  _ for midday.” Christen tries again, laughing at Tobin’s behaviour. 

Tobin gives her a dramatic pout, making Christen roll her eyes. 

She pulls Tobin closer until she’s standing in between Christen’s legs, resting her hands on the woman’s thighs. 

“It’s so boring without you here.” Tobin complains, always hating it when Christen is away. 

“It’s only for a week, so I’ll be back before you know it.” Christen tells her, “Plus you have your parents and Sarah here this time.”

“I guess so.” She narrows her eyes at Christen, just joking around now. 

Tobin turns more serious, leaning in to kiss Christen. 

“I want to take you on a date though.” She hums against her lips, “I have to have dinner with my beautiful wife before she leaves me.” 

“Tobinnnnn.” Christen whines, “It’s only for a week.”

“I know.” Tobin laughs, “I’m just being dramatic.”

“I’m still taking you out on a date though!” She demands, earning a smile from Christen. 

“That sounds perfect.” Christen tells her, leaving a soft kiss on her lips. 

“Oh! I have something to show you.” Christen suddenly remembers, having momentarily forgotten about it. 

Tobin raises her eyebrow, waiting for Christen to continue. 

“So...you know how you got me this necklace for my birthday after our one-year anniversary.” Christen starts, pointing to the infinity charm on her chest. 

Tobin nods, because of course she knows. She looks down at it now too.

“ _ You and me, forever. _ ” She mumbles the meaning behind the necklace, tracing the infinity sign with her finger. 

“Turn it around.” Christen tells her, wanting Tobin to see for herself.

Tobin’s eyebrows furrow, knowing already what’s on the other side, but she turns it around anyway. 

She looks at their anniversary date, giving Christen a slightly confused look, to which the younger woman points at the other side of the charm. 

Then Tobin sees it - their wedding date engraved opposite the original date. It’s the same date as Tobin has in roman numerals on her wedding ring, displaying it for anyone and everyone to see. 

A wide smile makes its way onto Tobin’s face, her signature grin coming out. 

“I thought it was only right to add our forever date.” She tells Tobin, who takes one more look at it before capturing Christen’s lips in a kiss. 

“Just when I thought that I couldn’t love you more.” Tobin rests her forehead against Christen’s, looking into the green eyes in front of her. 

\-------

They go out for their date on Sunday night, Christen spending the morning of it packing some clothes for the week. 

She’s ready to go on Monday morning, Tobin dropping her off at the airport and then waiting there for another hour before her family lands. 

Christen is still bummed about having to wait until Saturday to see them, but this is better than not being able to see them at all. 

Tobin sees her dad approaching from the baggage claim, throwing a big smile at him before meeting him half way and hugging him tightly. 

“I’ve missed you!” She tells him as she lets go of him, moving around to hug Cindy and Sarah too. 

“Tobin!” Sarah cheers, pulling her into a hug too after Cindy had her turn. 

“Where’s Chris?” Jeff wonders, looking around as if he’s missed the younger woman’s presence. 

“She’s away, remember?” Tobin looks at her dad, having told them all about this. 

“I thought she wasn’t flying out until tonight?” Cindy wonders, realizing that they must have had Christen’s flight times mixed up over text. 

“No, her flight just boarded ten minutes ago.” She tells them as she grabs some of their baggage, helping them carry it as they make their way towards the exit. “She’ll be back Saturday though.” 

“Can we not just steal her back?” Jeff jokes, wanting to see his daughter-in-law too. 

Tobin and Sarah both laugh, with Tobin thinking back to her conversation with Christen earlier. “She was really disappointed about not being able to see you guys until the weekend.” 

“I’m disappointed too.” Cindy chips in with a smile. 

\-------

They make their way through the busy LA traffic, heading downtown to eat something before stopping at home, since everyone seemed to be hungry. 

It saves Tobin the job of cooking tonight too. 

They settle in at Tobin and Christen’s house after, bringing their suitcases up to their rooms before they all sit down on the sofa. 

Tobin’s phone lights up in the middle of their conversation. 

**Chris :** My flight was delayed, but I just arrived at the hotel. 

**Chris :** Am I allowed to say that I miss you already or are we too cool for that since we’re married now? 

**Chris :** Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I made it here safely. I’ll call you tonight. I love you. 

“What’s that big smile for?” Cindy raises her eyebrows at her daughter, who drifted out of the conversation and is now smiling at her phone. 

Sarah chips in a reply before Tobin can open her mouth. “It’s her  _ I’m whipped and in love  _ smile.” 

Jeff starts laughing, lifting his hand up to high five Sarah. 

“No, it’s not.” Tobin frowns at them. 

“Oh, so you’re not whipped and in love?” Sarah questions, knowing very well that there’s only one answer to this.

“I really don’t know what you’re on about.” She pretends to act clueless, “I’m not even dating anyone.” 

Sarah shakes her head with a grin, “I think your wife might have something to say about that.” 

Tobin chuckles, going back to replying to Christen’s text messages. 

**Tobs :** That sucks, I hope your flight wasn’t too bad? I’m glad you got there safely. 

**Tobs :** You’re always allowed to miss me. I miss you too and I’m mad at Kristie for constantly shipping my wife to another state. 

**Tobs :** I love you too, babe. 

**Chris :** The flight was fine. We didn’t have any turbulence and it was only a short flight anyway. 

**Chris :** Tobs, it’s only two separate weeks every school year😂 I’ll be back at home and annoying you before you know it. 

**Tobs :** Two weeks too many… 

“And there it is again.” A voice pulls Tobin out of her thoughts, making her lift her head and shut her phone off again. She narrows her eyes at Sarah, who just giggles and looks away. 

Tobin lifts her foot up, using it to shove Sarah’s leg. “I don’t like you...and I told you, I’m not dating anyone!” 

Sarah grabs Tobin’s phone, turning it on and lifting it up to reveal a picture of Christen and Tobin. “So who’s this?” 

“My roommate.” Tobin jokes, praising herself for thinking she’s funny. 

“Oh, right! Yes, of course.” Sarah nods through an eye roll. 

Tobin sits up all of the sudden, having just remembered something. “Have you seen Christen’s lock screen? I’m not sure if she remembered to send you the picture, mom.”

Cindy shakes her head, making Tobin scroll through her camera roll. 

She eventually reaches the picture she was looking for. It was one of the pictures from their wedding photographer - one of Cole, Kayden and Ellie sitting in the grass together with Cole carefully holding Isaac in his arms. 

Cindy’s heart just about melts when Tobin shows her it. “You have to send me that, please. That’s making its way onto our living room wall right away.” 

“That’s from your wedding, right?” Jeff asks, having only seen the picture from the corner of his eye. 

Tobin nods, “Yeah, it was one of the ones the wedding photographer took.” 

“I haven’t seen your wedding pictures yet!” Sarah suddenly realizes. 

“Neither have I!” Cindy points out, “Where have you been hiding them?” 

Tobin’s eyebrows furrow, “Did we forget to send you them all?” 

The trio all nod, making Tobin realize just how busy and distracted Christen and Tobin have been lately. 

They have a few of their wedding photographs scattered around the house, having loved all of them. 

There’s three of them standing framed on the long chest of drawers in their bedroom. Christen had wanted them there and she’d let Tobin pick which pictures they should get printed, since she loved all of them and she knew Tobin would have a better eye for these sort of things. 

They also have the picture of their niece and nephews up on the wall by their front door, with a picture of them and their friends at the wedding next to it. 

Christen lives for pictures. 

She loves having pictures around the house and changes them up all of the time. She’s pretty good with this stuff, hanging them up so they’re more spread out and making sure the walls don’t look over decorated. 

Her favorite ones are in their bedroom though. 

In addition to the three wedding pictures, Christen and Tobin each have one picture on their nightstand - Christen having picked one of her and Tobin just after their engagement in France. Tobin, being Tobin, simply picked a picture that she took of Christen at the beach, as in her words, Christen looks like a  _ goddess  _ in it. 

Tobin jumps up, grabbing her laptop from inside and opening it to show them all the wedding photos. They huddle around her, admiring them and making Tobin feel emotional all over again. 

“I’m bummed that we can’t see Christen until the weekend. It feels so weird to not have her around.” Sarah comments when Tobin shuts her laptop again. 

Jeff nods in agreement. “It does feel strange without her.” 

“I can promise you that she’d much rather be here with us right now.” Tobin smiles, thinking of her green-eyed girl. 

“She just came into our lives and hasn’t left our side since.” 

Sarah agrees right away. “The Heath family wouldn’t be the Heath family anymore, without her.” 

“Can we keep gushing about Christen since she isn’t here, so we can’t embarrass you?” Cindy wonders, knowing her daughter blushes every time they start gushing about Christen in front of the couple. 

“We can talk about your plans for the week.” Tobin changes the subject, with Jeff trying to stifle a laugh at her quick reaction. 

“You’re working all week apart from today, right?” Sarah wonders, trying to recall the schedule Tobin sent them yesterday. 

“Yeah, I’m at school again tomorrow.” Tobin confirms. 

“What days do you coach the soccer teams?” Jeff wonders, not being able to recall. 

“Tuesday and Friday for both the varsity and junior varsity team, and then a Thursday session with just the varsity team.” Tobin tells them, “They’re all between an hour and an hour and a half long though, so I won’t be back that much later.”

“I’m picking Christen up middayish on Saturday, but apart from work, we’re free on all the other days.” 

Jeff nods, trying to come up with a plan in his head and thinking of ways Sarah, Cindy and him can spend their time throughout the day. 

Tobin has already offered them her or Christen’s car, so they don’t have to call an uber whenever they want to go somewhere further away than walking distance. 

\-------

Tobin drifts into consciousness the next morning when she feels herself shiver. 

She pulls the covers a little higher, wanting to warm her body up again. 

When that still isn’t enough, she lets out an annoyed groan, rolling over and searching for Christen’s body heat. 

Tobin isn’t met with a warm body though, so she reaches her arm out, trying to make her way next to her wife without having to open her eyes. 

_ Christen must already be up.  _ Tobin thinks when her arm drops onto the bed.

She finally opens her eyes at that, suddenly coming out of her sleepy state and remembering that Christen isn’t even at home. 

Tobin rolls over, reaching for her phone, just to see that her alarm is about to go off anyway. 

Her and Christen had facetimed last night - just like they always do when Christen is away. Despite going to bed earlier, they lost complete track of time and both ended up sleeping way too late. 

**Tobs :** Chrisssssssss

**Tobs :** Come back home now please

**Tobs :** Our bed is too cold without you. I need you to snuggle into. 

**Tobs :** Don’t forget about me whilst you’re away 

**Chris :** How could I forget when you text me every two seconds? 

**Tobs :** Hey, that was rude!

**Tobs :** I was just about to say good morning and tell you that I love you, but I’ve decided against it now. 

**Chris :** Good morning, I love you too 😉

**Tobs :** Mhm whatever

**Chris :** 😕

**Tobs :** I’m mad at you now

**Chris :** I guess that means no FaceTime call for you tonight then?!

**Tobs :** What? No...I take it back!

Christen laughs at the texts, checking the time and seeing that she should probably make her way into the conference room. 

**Chris :** I have a meeting now so I have to go, but I love you, you goof. 

**Tobs :** Good luck in your meeting. I love you too.

**Chris :** And Tobs…

**Tobs :** yeah babe? 

**Chris :** Get up or you’re gonna be late for work!!!

**Tobs :** Okay, MOM

**Tobs :** You’d think having my own mom in the house would be enough, but no, my wife is going to act like my mom too!

**Chris :** 😘😘

Tobin lets out a chuckle - both at Christen’s love of emojis and at how silly she is. Her eyes flick up to the time displayed on her screen and she realizes that Christen is right. 

She really should get up for work now. 

No one else is awake yet when she leaves the house, trying to be as quiet as she can and sending them a text to say that she’s out and to, of course, help themselves to whatever they want. 

They end up making a reservation at a restaurant downtown that night, Tobin heading there right after work and the rest of the family walking to meet her there. 

After eventually making their way back to Tobin and Christen’s house, Jeff makes his way to bed, feeling tired after a long day, and Sarah heads to the room she’s staying in so she can answer some emails from work. 

“Are you going to bed too?” Tobin asks her mom when Sarah and Jeff have disappeared, “Or do you want to sit outside for a bit? We could go on the balcony upstairs and watch the sunset?” 

“That sounds nice.” Cindy smiles, remembering the view of the beach from the balcony. 

They grab some drinks, making their way up the stairs and through Tobin and Christen’s room. 

“These are so beautiful, Tobs.” Cindy comments, stalling right next to the wedding pictures and taking a look at them. 

“Thanks, Mom.” Tobin smiles, looking at the pictures now too. 

“Yours and Christen’s bedroom is really nice too.” She mentions, having a look around. She hasn’t been in there since Christen first gave her a tour of the house the first time they met, and she loves what they’ve done with it since moving in together. 

“I don’t think I can take much credit for that one.” Tobin chuckles, moving to open the glass doors to the balcony. 

They sit down together on the seat, looking out towards the ocean. You can even hear the sound of the waves crashing over the noise of the cars when it’s quiet enough. 

They sit in silence for a long moment, making small conversation in between, as Tobin gets lost in thought. She can’t help but think back to the day when she moved to California, where her and her parents spent the evening together on the beach. 

“Mom?” Tobin lowers her glass after taking a sip, Cindy’s head turning towards her at the same time. “Do you remember what you said to me when I moved to LA?” 

Tobin continues when Cindy gives her an unsure look. “How you said that this was something you expected from me - spontaneously moving to a different state - and how it’ll either end up becoming everything I ever wanted or I’ll end up hating it and moving somewhere different before my lease for the house is up?” 

Cindy chuckles, it all coming back to her. “Yeah, I remember that.” 

Tobin nods slowly. “Well, I found everything that I ever wanted and more.” 

Cindy smiles widely, lifting her arm up and wrapping it around Tobin. Tobin drops her head onto her mom’s shoulder, feeling so blessed to have such supportive parents. 

“I still can’t believe that my little nomad daughter is married.” Cindy kisses the top of her head, squeezing her shoulder. 

Tobin can’t help but laugh at that. “That makes two of us.” 

“I wasn’t even sure if that day would ever come.” Cindy admits. All she’s ever wanted was for her daughter to be happy, but for a long time she couldn’t have seen that involve marriage. “I wasn’t sure if anyone could ever make you settle down and want to stay in the same place and around the same person.” 

“Getting married is something I always wanted and I’ve always planned on having kids and a family in the future.” Tobin corrects her, knowing that this isn't something she used to discuss with her mom. Cindy would just let her be and live her life. She never felt the need to question Tobin on the decisions she's making, as long as she's happy, healthy and knows that she's loved. “But it just seems crazy to me that I found the right person without even looking for her.” 

"Katie did used to tell you that you’ll fall in love when you least expect it.” Cindy gives her a knowing look, making Tobin want to roll her eyes at how right she is. 

“And her and Perry also told me that when you know you know, but I won’t ever tell them that they were right about both of those things.” Tobin admits with a hint of teasing in it. 

“Right, of course you won’t.” Cindy responds in a serious tone, “I’ll keep the secret for you.” 

Tobin laughs at the same time as Cindy does, them going back to speaking more seriously about it after. 

“Just remember that marriage isn’t going to be easy. I don’t tell you that to scare you, but I just want you to expect the hard days.” Cindy tells her as she turns to face Tobin. “There’ll be some  _ really  _ tough days ahead, where something might happen between the two of you or something completely different causes hurt to you as a couple.” 

“I know.” Tobin nods, and she does. She does know that, has always known to expect that, but everything is hard. Being alone can be just as hard as being married, and being in a long-term relationship can be just as difficult, so she chose the hard she wanted to deal with in her life. 

And that was marrying the love of her life, so they can face those struggles together. 

“But I have an amazing person by my side who’s worth all of those days.” She finishes her thought, staying silent for a short moment before speaking up again. 

“It just feels so right with her...everything does.” Tobin shrugs, “Being with her, sharing my life with her, loving her, spending our days together, planning a future together,  _ marrying  _ her. All of it just makes sense when Christen is there and I know that none of it would ever make sense with anyone else, and it hasn’t made sense in the past.” 

“Love tends to do that to you when you’re crazy about someone.” Cindy gives her a wide smile, squeezing her shoulder again. “I’m so happy that you guys get to spend your future with each other.” 

\-------

They spend Wednesday at Santa Monica beach after Tobin finishes work, exploring the local area as it’s been years since Jeff was last there. 

On Thursday, Jeff, Cindy and Sarah spend a few hours with Jeffrey since they have a rest day, before spending the evening talking on Tobin’s patio once she comes home after coaching. 

Christen is going out with everyone tonight, which is why Tobin doesn’t expect to hear from her before late that night or the next morning. 

She’s surprised when Jeff gets her attention mid-conversation, pointing down to Tobin’s phone on the small table in between them. 

“Tob, I think Christen is trying to call you.” He mentions, having seen the phone light up and Christen’s name appear on the screen. He’d ignored it at first, but then noticed that Tobin hadn’t realized yet, so he thought he’d mention it to her. 

Tobin gives him a grateful smile, picking up her phone just as the call ends. 

**Tobs :** Is everything okay, Chris? 

**Chris :** Baby, it’s urgent. Like reallllyyyy urgent. 

Tobin chuckles, standing up from her seat. “Apparently it’s urgent. I bet it’s Chris not being able to find something to wear.” 

She walks inside, shutting the patio door behind her and calling Christen back on FaceTime as she makes her way over to the kitchen. 

“Tobin!” Christen’s stressed face appears on the screen, “What do I wear tonight?” 

Tobin can’t help but burst out laughing, because she was right. Of course Christen is calling her because she can’t decide on what to wear. 

“I don’t know, babe.” Tobin shrugs, “What were you planning on wearing?” 

“I have no idea.” Christen tells her, “I need to wear something that tells people I’m married.” 

“I’m pretty sure those rings do.” Tobin winks, “Besides, you could wear granny-style clothes and still be the most beautiful person there.” 

Christen smiles shyly - making herself question why she had a flash moment of feeling really shy around Tobin. 

“I did not just make you blush.” Tobin bursts out laughing, watching Christen cover her cheeks. “Nope!” 

“That’s so funny...I managed to make my wife blush.” 

“Moving on.” Christen drags the word out, going back to finding something to wear. 

Tobin eventually starts taking her seriously and actually helping her pick something to wear. 

“Call me later if you’re back before some crazy time, okay?” Tobin requests. 

No matter what time Christen gets back from these things, she always texts Tobin to let her know she’s back at the hotel, and Tobin knows that she won’t fall asleep until she knows that Christen made it back to her hotel room. 

“I’m not staying out late.” Christen tells her, “We have an earlyish morning tomorrow and I want to have time to talk to you again tonight.” 

“Okay, so you’ll call me when you get back?” 

“I will.” She smiles, saying their goodbyes before hanging up the call. 

\-------

Christen drops in and out of conversations for the first half an hour of them being at the bar. 

Eventually, she distances herself a little and walks over to the bar to order herself another vodka soda. 

“Christen!” A voice greets from behind her, making Christen turn around. 

“Lucie, hey!” Christen smiles, feeling a sense of relief at seeing someone she knows. 

“I’m so glad to see a familiar face here.” Lucie mentions in that moment, making Christen chuckle and agree. 

“Me too! I usually know a handful of people well enough to have an actual conversation, but I don’t have a clue who anyone is right now.” Christen admits, scanning the room for anyone she might know the full name of. “I’m feeling a little lost.” 

“I wouldn’t even know anyone anyway, it’s only my second meeting.” Lucie shrugs. “The last one at your school was great though.” 

Christen chuckles, “Thanks! I’m hoping that I don’t have to do that again for a little while though. I’m not the biggest fan of speaking in front of lots of people.” 

“Well, you did really well and I wouldn’t be able to tell if you hadn't told me.” The woman gives her a kind smile. 

“Thank you.” 

“Do you want to grab a booth or something and we can have a drink together?” Lucie wonders, pointing over to the empty booth across the room. 

Christen shrugs with a nod. “Sure, why not.” 

“I’m just gonna go to the restroom, I’ll come and meet you there in a minute.” 

**Chris :** You’ll never believe who I’m having drinks with!

**Tobs :** Is it Vegas guy? 

**Chris :** Ew, no, definitely not. He’s gone into hiding.

**Tobs :** Good! He’d be scared for his life if he’d ever ask you out again. 

**Chris :** Don’t be violent, Tobin!!!!

**Chris :** Guess again

**Tobs :** I don’t know, babe. 

**Chris :** Lucie…

**Tobs :** No way😂 Really?

**Chris :** She came up to me and we started talking, so we ended up grabbing a booth together. I don’t know anyone though, so I was kinda glad to see someone I’ve met before. 

**Tobs :** That’s so funny! Tell her me and Sarah say hi. 

**Chris :** She’s just coming back from the restroom. I’ll let you know how it went later. 

**Tobs :** Have fun, babe. 

**Tobs :** But not too much fun!!!!

“Sarah, guess who Christen is having drinks with right now.” Tobin lifts her head up from her phone, looking at Sarah. 

“I don’t know, who?” She shrugs, not having a clue who it could be or how she could know them. 

“Lucie.” Tobin comments with a smirk at the same time as Sarah chokes on her drink. She definitely didn’t expect that answer. 

“You’re kidding!” She asks Tobin with wide eyes. 

“Nope, I’m not.” Tobin can’t help but laugh at the situation. “She knows her from the last meeting and they’re all out for drinks tonight, so Lucie ended up approaching her.”

“Who’s Lucie?” Jeff wonders with furrowed eyebrows and Sarah bursts out laughing. 

“Tobin’s ex.” She states when she manages to calm herself down a little. 

“She’s not my ex!” 

“Sorry, not Tobin’s ex. Tobin’s former friend.” She clarifies, before mumbling the next words. “With benefits.” 

“Sarah!” Tobin’s eyes grow wide, her swatting Sarah’s arm and the woman turning away with a laugh. 

“Tobin! You did not!” Cindy chips into the conversation, feeling shocked about the fact that she only just found this out. 

“It was a long time ago!” She defends, feeling slightly embarrassed but not being able to help having to laugh at the situation they’ve found themselves in. 

Sarah is sitting at the other end of the sofa, a tight lipped look on her face and Tobin knows she’s going to come up with the perfect way to get her back for this. That can wait until later though. 

“Am I supposed to believe that?” Cindy wonders with raised eyebrows. 

Tobin's eyes go wide, wondering what her mother is implying. “Yes! I obviously didn’t cheat on Christen. I’d never ever do that.” 

“I wasn’t saying you cheated on Christen, but what about before you guys were together?” Cindy quickly correct herself, knowing Tobin would never cheat on someone and also knowing that she'd be beyond angry and upset if one of her children would ever do so. 

“We’ve been together for over three years now, so anything before that is classed as a long time ago.” Tobin explains to her, “And obviously it was before me and Christen started dating.” 

“How long before?” Jeff questions now, Tobin just rolling her eyes with a smirk. 

“We ended things like a year before I moved here.” She admits to them, “It really doesn’t matter though. We saw each other again a year ago and we quickly caught up and I introduced her to Chris. It’s really not a big deal.” 

“I just can’t believe you had a friend with benefits.” Cindy speaks her thoughts out, Tobin pulling a face. 

“I did a lot of things when I lived in Portland, but I’ve also changed  _ so  _ much since I moved here.” Tobin explains, really wanting to end this conversation now. “I think moving out here did me so well and even if I wouldn't have met Christen, I don't think I'd still be the same person I was back in Portland." 

Tobin already knows Christen is going to have the time of her life when she finds out about this and will probably end up in tears of laughter, just imagining Tobin's horrified look at Cindy finding out about Tobin's former love life. 

Back in Utah, Christen watches as Lucie approaches, sitting down opposite her. 

“Tobin and Sarah told me to say hi.” She tells her once Lucie has settled into her seat. 

“Please tell them I said hi too!” Lucie requests, Christen quickly sending the text before she’ll forget about it later. They fall into easy conversation, making small talk at first and trying to figure out how much the other person would share about their personal life. 

“Did you guys meet at work?” Lucie suddenly wonders, realizing that she’d never really thought about this before. She’d never given all that much thought to Christen and Tobin being together, giving that she doesn’t know Christen and that she’s sure Tobin is a completely different person now than when she lived in Portland. 

“Yeah.” Christen smiles. “We met when Tobin had her interview for the job, then became friends, eventually fell for each other and the rest is history.” 

“That’s so sweet!” Lucie returns the expression with a smile of her own. “And now you’re engaged.” 

“We’re actually married!” Christen quickly corrects her. “We just had our wedding at the end of July.” 

“No way!” Her eyes grow wide. “Tell me about the wedding!” 

“It was amazing. It was definitely the best day of my life.” 

“Have you got any pictures?” Lucie requests, wanting to see them and show Christen that she was genuinely happy for them, and not just pretending to be interested. 

“They’re all on my laptop, but I have a few on here.” Christen opens her camera roll, an involuntary smile making its way onto her face. She feels  _ so  _ proud to be Tobin’s wife. 

She shows Lucie the first three or four pictures she can find in her camera roll, knowing they’d be here until tomorrow if she starts showing more and more. 

Lucie gushes over all of them, telling Christen just how pretty both of them look and how happy she is for them. 

“Anyway, enough about me.” Christen shuts her phone off again, wanting to redirect the conversation. “Whilst we’re on this topic, I’m going to be nosy and ask if you’re dating anyone.” 

“Ehm, well…” Lucie starts, a hesitant look on her face until she relaxes and decides to just go with it. “I actually met someone a few months ago.”

“Oh?” 

“Yeah, she’s a journalist and we met by chance at the grocery store.” Lucie explains and both of them start laughing at that. “She couldn’t find something and had just moved to Portland, so she hasn’t been to this grocery store before. I saw her struggling and went to help her, and then we kind of hit it off.” 

“So is she just a friend or more?” Christen pries, trying to find out more. 

“I’d like her to be more - really really like her to be more - and we spend a lot of time together, but I don’t know…” 

“What are you waiting for? Go get the girl!” Christen encourages her, nudging her foot. “Ask her out on a date or ask her to be your girlfriend if that’s what you want, she can’t read your mind!” 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Lucie admits, “It’s just scary because I can feel myself falling so deeply for her and I’ve never been in love before.” 

“That probably sounds crazy, considering you’re the same age as me, but I just haven’t.” She continues, “I used to sleep around  _ a lot _ , something I haven’t done in years now, but I never went as far as having feelings for anyone before.” 

“Just let yourself fall.” Christen tells her, as if it would be that simple. “It’s scary, I know it is, but it’ll be worth it in the end, I promise.” 

“And it doesn’t sound crazy, you don’t just fall in love with anyone.” She shakes her head, wanting Lucie to know that everyone has their own timeline with these things. “I’ve been in love twice before I met Tobin and one of those was my high school boyfriend, who turns out I just loved as a friend, and the other was my first serious relationship as an adult with a guy, who manipulated me to no end.”

“I’d do a lot to turn back time and never date him again, but all those things make you who you are today, so if this is someone that you can see yourself with, or even if you don’t know yet, you should go for it.” Christen continues, “I have a good feeling that you won’t regret it!”

“But how do I know that this is what love feels like if I’ve never been in love before? I’ve never even had an actual relationship before.” 

“You’ll know! Maybe you won’t know for sure whilst you’re falling in love, but once you’re in love, you’ll know.” Christen tells her with certainty, “Just take the risk and go for it, what’s the worst that can happen?”

Lucie shrugs shyly, “That I lose her as a friend.”

“I had that fear too with Tobin and I told her that so many times right at the start of our relationship, but looking back at it now, I wouldn’t have changed the decisions I made.” She can see just how small and worried Lucie looks, clearly having thought about this a lot. “Just think would you rather never get the chance to love her the way you want to or take the risk and have the chance of living a happy life together?”

“Because I took the risk of the second one and whilst it terrified me, look where it led me.” She can see the wheels turning in Lucie’s head and that she’s slowly starting to see that it might be worth the risk after all. 

“I just have no idea what I’m doing.” Lucie admits, biting her lip and shrugging nervously. 

“There’s no rules or timeline or anything like that on these things. You do whatever feels right and talk to her to make sure she feels the same.” Christen watches as Lucie clings onto every word she’s saying. “Every relationship is different, so it doesn’t matter whether you’ve been in love ten times, one time or if you’ve never been in love before. It’ll always be new and scary. You need to go at your own pace, in your one time and do whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“I guess you’re right, thank you.” Lucie nods, leaving them in a short moment of silence. “I think I’m going to talk to her when I get home.” 

Christen gives her a soft smile, before Lucie looks up again and continues. “But what do I say? How did you and Tobin tell each other?” 

“Well, let’s just say it involved a bit of hurt and a few tears, before I told her how I feel and she kissed me. I wouldn’t recommend taking that advice though, as there were way too many emotions involved, when it could have been a lot simpler.” 

She chuckles, thinking about how oblivious they were back then. “Let me know how it goes though! You’ll have to update me at the meeting next year.” 

“I will.” Lucie laughs, thankful to have had someone to talk to about this. All of her friends would know exactly who she’s talking about and her other friends will likely never have a relationship, so she wasn’t ready to talk to any of them about this. Turns out that talking to Christen has helped her a lot. 

“How come Tobin isn’t at this meeting?” She suddenly wonders, recalling that she was at the previous one in California. 

“She only works as a part-time teacher for PE at our school, her full-time role is something different. We need our other two PE teachers to hold down the fort, so that’s why I usually go alone.” Christen explains, “I think Kristie, our principal, is planning on sending two of us next year though, so I’m going to assume that it’ll be Tobin, considering it won’t make a big difference on the scheduled lessons.”

They stay there for another hour, just chatting and getting to know each other better before Christen eventually announces that she wants to get back to her hotel room. She was getting tired by now and wanted to get ready for bed, so she can call Tobin and speak to her before going to sleep.

\-------

The next day flies by and before they know it, Christen is already on her way home.

“I better head out, I don’t want to make Chris wait for me at the airport.” Tobin announces, looking at the time. 

“Finally!” Cindy cheers, holding her hand up and high-fiving Jeff.

Sarah left a couple of hours ago, meeting up with some of Jeffrey’s teammates’ girlfriends for lunch. She’d made sure that Tobin texts her when she leaves for the airport, so Sarah can be back at their place before Christen gets home. 

Tobin looks between her parents, shaking her head. “Just keep rubbing in the fact that you both like your daughter-in-law better than your actual daughter.” She tries to get their sympathy. “It’s okay, I’m used to it by now!” 

“Awh, Tobin!” Jeff moves over to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, the sarcasm clear in his voice. “You know we love you.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Tobin responds through a hum, giving him a questioning look. 

She can’t help but laugh, knowing that both of them don’t have favorites and are just caring towards anyone they consider family. 

Although she’s still convinced that they love Christen more. 

“I’m still so glad that you both love Christen as much as you do. I’d much rather have it this way than you guys not getting along with her.” Tobin admits, knowing she shouldn’t have been nervous the first time she introduced Christen to them. 

“Could you imagine that?” Jeff wonders with thought, trying to think what it would be like if they didn’t get on with any of their in-laws. 

“That would have been tough luck for you two.” Tobin begins with a shrug, picking up her keys. “I would have married her anyway, so you’d have to get along with her somehow.”

“Oh really.” Jeff comments, wanting to know a real answer. “You wouldn’t have gone for someone else?”

Tobin almost scoffs, just stopping herself to make sure she isn’t being rude to her parents. 

“Definitely not, dad.” She gives him a bright smile, “I still can’t believe it’s possible to love someone as much as I love that woman, but here we are.” 

Cindy looks over to her daughter, smiling widely. “I more than believe it. And I more than believe that Christen loves you that much too.” 

“She better do.” Tobin jokes, putting her shoes on and just wanting to leave. “I wouldn’t have married her if she doesn’t feel the same.” 

Now that they were talking about Christen, it’s almost like she has to see the younger woman again in that instant. 

Tobin heads out once she’s double checked that she has her keys and wallet. She makes a quick stop at Target, buying a bouquet of flowers and then driving to the airport. 

She goes inside, heading to arrivals so she can meet Christen there. She’d received a text a couple of minutes ago from Christen, telling her she was nearly at baggage claim, so she shouldn’t be long. 

A few short minutes later she spots the younger woman, who appears with a blinding smile as soon as she spots Tobin, quickly heading over to her. 

There’s a split second where hazel eyes meet with green ones, before Tobin feels Christen’s arms around her neck. 

She leans back, placing a quick kiss on Tobin’s lips before nuzzling her face into Tobin. 

“It feels  _ so  _ good being back in your arms.” Christen emphasises. 

Tobin turns her head, leaving a kiss in Christen’s curls and mumbling into her ear. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Christen responds right away, feeling so happy to be able to tell Tobin that in person again. 

She might not have been away for very long, but she still misses Tobin and their daily routine every time. An empty hotel room doesn’t quite compare to her own home and Tobin. 

Once they’ve pulled away, Tobin moves the flowers, holding them out in front of her. 

_ “Tobin.”  _ Christen gushes, biting her lip with a smile. “I’m so lucky.” 

These little things mean so much to her, and she hopes that Tobin never stops buying her flowers, just like she’ll never stop buying Tobin flowers. 

“I love them, thank you.” She kisses Tobin’s cheek. “You’re too good to me, baby.” 

“I’m just happy to have my favorite person back.” Tobin shrugs as she takes Christen's suitcase with one hand, wrapping her free arm around Christen’s shoulder. 

Christen holds onto her flowers and purse, wrapping her other arm around Tobin’s waist and leaning her head into Tobin. 

“There’s nothing better than being home.” Christen hums as their car comes into view. 

“Oh no?” Tobin asks, “Spending time with Lucie isn’t better?” 

Christen bursts out laughing at the joke, “I’m never gonna live that down, am I?” 

“Probably not, no.” Tobin shakes her head with a laugh. 

She opens the car, putting Christen’s suitcase in the trunk and then hopping in the driver’s seat. 

“So, how was it?” Tobin asks as she pulls out of the parking lot, her hand intertwined with Christen’s.

She’s obviously heard about some of it on their FaceTime calls, but it was vague and they mostly spent time talking about other things. By the time Christen had the chance to call Tobin at night, she was usually exhausted from the day and the last thing she wanted to think about at that moment was work. 

“Good!” Christen hums, lifting their hands up and kissing the back of Tobin’s. “I don’t want to talk about work right now though.”

“We have all the time in the world to do that over the weekend, but right now our family is at home and I only get the next twenty minutes alone with you, so I just want to talk to you and be with you, without thinking about work.” Christen finishes, squeezing her hand. 

“They’re  _ so  _ excited to see you” Tobin chuckles, “Guess who already asked me five times this morning when I’m going to pick you up.” 

“Your mom?” 

“My mom!” Tobin nods, “How did you guess that one?” 

“I love Cindy.” Christen shakes her head with a chuckle. “She texted me earlier too and wished me a safe flight.” 

“But oh my gosh, I can’t believe Sarah told your parents about Lucie.” Christen bursts out laughing. Tobin texted her about this that night, but they never had a chance to discuss it.

“I’m still planning my revenge.” Tobin laughs, “She’s not getting away with this one.” 

\-------

As soon as Christen walks through the door, she’s practically tackled into a hug by Cindy. 

Even with being exhausted from the week, she’s so excited to see them again that she can’t bring herself to care about being tired. 

They spend all of Saturday catching up and strolling down to the beach for a couple of hours before returning home again. 

Tobin and Christen sit down on the sofa once everyone else goes to bed, deciding to find a television show to watch on Netflix. 

“Baby, I know you made a joke about it earlier, but you weren’t actually bothered by me ending up having a drink with Lucie, right?” Christen approaches the conversation that had been stuck in her head since they first sat down. 

“No.” Tobin shakes her head with a serious look on her face. 

“Are you sure?” Christen questions once again, trying to get a read on her. 

“Yeah, I promise.” Tobin confirms, “Besides, I know that I could have asked you not to when you texted me and that you would have been fine with that.” 

“That’s why I wanted you to know beforehand.” Christen explains, “If you would have mentioned something about feeling uneasy about it, then I wouldn’t have gone.” 

“I obviously trust you, babe.” Tobin picks the remote up and pauses the television, wanting to show Christen that she has her full attention. “Lucie knows that we’re together and she’d never make a move on someone whilst they’re in a relationship, not that you would let her anyway. But just in general, Lucie’s way too kind to ever do something like that and she’d never forgive herself if she’d find out that someone she hooked up with is in a relationship.”

“And you’d never put yourself in a situation like that anyway, so of course I’m not worried.” Tobin continues to explain, “I was actually kind of glad that you had someone familiar there and weren’t by yourself.” 

“She was really nice.” Christen shrugs. They spoke about this briefly too, but Tobin didn’t really feel the need to bring it up, so it was just a quick mention over FaceTime before they moved on with their conversation. “We didn’t stay out for long, but she was nice to have a conversation with.” 

“What stuff did you talk about?” Tobin wonders, just wanting to show an interest in Christen’s night out. 

“Pretty much all of what I mentioned to you the other day.” She tries to rack her brain and remember what she’d said the first time Tobin asked her. “So just about our wedding, work, that person she told me about, and then we spoke a little about College too.” 

Tobin nods, before asking another question. “Why did you want to check if I was okay with it?” 

It wasn’t that Christen couldn’t ask, she was just a little surprised as she hadn’t expected Christen to think that maybe Tobin wasn’t okay with it and that Christen should apologize instead. 

“For one because we haven’t spoken about it in person, and I guess since I’ve never been in a situation like that before, I wanted to check if it really didn’t bother you, or if you want to talk about it.” 

“I’m sure it didn’t bother me.” Tobin kisses Christen’s lips, trying to bring her to relax again. 

It doesn’t work though, as Christen just speaks up again. “Also, just so you know, I wouldn’t have had drinks with her if it was here. It wouldn’t have been something I would have agreed to. I only agreed because I was away and didn’t know anyone.” 

“Hey.” Tobin smiles softly, waiting for Christen to finish rambling. 

Christen was overthinking this a lot, considering she didn’t even go out with the knowledge of Lucie being there. She simply approached her at the bar and Christen would never tell someone to go away when all they want is to simply check in with her and have a quick conversation. 

She lifts her eyes and they lock with Tobin’s hazel ones. “It’s done and you guys had a nice conversation together and you had a good time, okay babe?” 

“You don’t have to explain yourself.” Tobin tells her once again. “I didn’t have a problem with it and neither did you, so you can switch that little tired, overthinking and super smart brain of yours off and cuddle me instead.” 

Tobin knows that this conversation would have been done the first time Tobin confirmed that she doesn’t have an issue with it, if it wasn’t for Christen’s tiredness. 

Whenever Christen gets tired, she overthinks everything. Every word she says, every move she makes, everything. 

So before she ends up being upset about something that Tobin has long moved on from and isn’t bothered about in the slightest, she wants Christen to relax. 

She lies down, pulling Christen on top of her and tugging the blanket that was previously draped over their legs a little higher. 

Christen nuzzles into Tobin’s neck, turning her head so she can see the television again. 

Tobin presses play on the episode again as Christen takes a deep breath. “I missed you.” 

“I missed you too.” She smiles, moving her hand under Christen’s top and running it up and down her bare back. 

\-------

Christen is in the kitchen, typing on her laptop when she hears the glass door to the patio slide open. 

They’d just came back from Jeffrey’s game a couple of hours ago - a midday kick-off friendly with the National Team. The United States’ men’s soccer team had won 3-2, with them going right back to recovery and training, so they can switch their focus on their upcoming game on Wednesday.

Jeffrey only had a short chance to see them after the game before heading back to their hotel. 

Christen spent around an hour with everyone else after the game and then announced that she was going to reply to a couple of emails and finish her preparations for her meeting with Kristie the next day. 

She turns her head at the sound of footsteps, looking to see Tobin making her way over. “Hey, baby.” 

“Hey.” Tobin smiles, leaning down to kiss Christen and making her way over to the fridge to grab another beer. 

“Don’t work yourself too hard, babe.” She mentions softly as she comes to a stop behind Christen, running her hand up and down the woman’s back. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t.” Christen responds, fully focused on what she’s reading on the screen. 

Tobin just smiles, reaching down a little and wrapping her arms around Christen’s shoulders. 

Cindy walks in at that moment, also going to get another drink. “I feel bad that Christen is in here and has to work, whilst we’re outside relaxing.” 

“I’d much rather be with you guys.” Christen points out, leaning back into Tobin. 

“Are you nearly done?” Tobin wonders, knowing Christen wants to spend time with Sarah, Cindy and Jeff too, instead of just working. Tobin also knows that Christen has to get this finished though. 

Christen nods, “Almost.”

“Make sure you give yourself a break at some point, Chris!” Cindy tells her with a hint of worry in her voice. 

Christen can’t help but giggle. “What are you two? My parents?” 

“We just care about you!” Tobin responds as she leans in to kiss Christen’s cheek, before standing up again. 

“You do sound like my mom though.” She repeats through a chuckle, “I used to work crazy hours at Palos Verdes High School. I’d turn up to work way too early and not leave until around six every night. The department leader was useless so unless we wanted the whole school to be a place where no one wants to go, someone had to do his work.” 

“My mom wasn’t exactly pleased with how much I worked.” Christen continues, “It was pretty much wake up, work, eat, sleep and then do it all again the next day. My dad wasn’t happy with it either, but he’d just laugh whilst my mom tried to tell me for the millionth time that I need to work less and that she’s worried about me.” 

“Let me guess, you still worked those hours?” Cindy chuckles, knowing Christen all too well. 

“Ehm, I may have started biology too then, because our biology teacher moved across the state for a better job, so I ended up with even more hours.” 

“Christen!” Cindy’s eyes go wide with disbelief. 

“I work less now.” Christen defends, shrugging with an innocent look on her face. 

“Tobin and I would be lecturing you to no end if you were.” Cindy jokes, knowing that she would personally make sure Christen works less hours if she still worked that much now. 

“You’re already halfway there now.” She laughs, thinking about how many times Tobin and Cindy will tell her something that sounds exactly like what her mom used to tell her. 

She feels so lucky to have people in her life, who care so much about her. 

“If you’d just close this and come outside, then we wouldn't have to lecture you.” Tobin mentions, pointing to Christen’s laptop as she speaks. 

“Okay, okay.” Christen lets herself agree, “I’ll be there in two minutes. Let me just finish this sentence and then I’m gonna need a glass of wine. 

She expects them both to agree and leave after that, knowing Christen would come in a moment. What she doesn’t see is Cindy and Tobin looking at each other with a smirk and staying rooted in their spot. 

Christen starts laughing when she notices that neither of them have moved. 

“Well, if this is how it’s going to be…” She types her last sentence, closing her laptop and not even being able to blink before Tobin grabs it. 

Her eyes follow the older woman as she walks across the room, plugging Christen’s laptop in and leaving it on charge there. She turns around, about to grab herself a glass of wine, when Cindy is already holding one out in Christen’s direction. 

“You two are crazy, I hope you know that!” Christen looks between them, shaking her head with a grin. 

Cindy laughs at that, squeezing Christen’s shoulder. “Oh, we know!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this is the last meeting we'll be seeing for a while lol. Time to focus on other things now. 
> 
> Also it wasn't until after this that I remembered that Rachel Daly's mom is called Louise too, oops. 
> 
> If you're still here and still reading my updates, then thank you so much! I appreciate the comments on here so so much and they truly make my day every time. 
> 
> I hope you all have a lovely Christmas, despite the circumstances and the year it's been. Please continue to stay safe!


	25. Born To Be Brave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I built this heart,  
> It's beating loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ummm this chapter ended up a little long

**_Two years later :_ **

“Alright, buddy. Do you think it’s time to go to bed?” Tobin asks the young boy, who’s struggling to keep his eyes open whilst lying in her arms. 

Christen looks over at him now too, lifting her head and watching as his bright blue eyes slowly close. She stands up, taking him from Tobin’s lap and holding him on her hip. 

Tobin follows her closely as Christen walks up the stairs, entering the boy’s bedroom and laying him down in his crib. 

Whilst Christen goes to turn his small night light on, Tobin tucks him into the light blanket, seeing that he’s way too tired for a storytime. 

She’d originally promised to read him a book, but there’s no hope of that happening tonight. 

He’d probably fall asleep before she’d even start the first page. 

They stay in his bedroom for a short moment, listening to him babble some random words a little, trying his best to mumble a sentence he’s learned so far, in his tired state. 

“Good night, Jose.” Christen runs a finger through his hair, seeing that he is already asleep, so he won’t notice if they leave the room now.

“Night, buddy. Auntie Chrissy and auntie Toto love you.” Tobin whispers, ushering Christen out of the room and leaving a tiny gap in the door, whilst grabbing the baby monitor. 

Jose is Alex and Servando’s son, who was born almost a year and a half ago now. 

He’s a funny, energetic and outgoing kid already. 

Jose has become more than spoiled by all of his _aunts_ and uncle Zach, quickly turning into someone they all love spending time with. 

Tonight, Alex and Servando had gone out on a date for the first time in a long time, so Christen and Tobin had volunteered to babysit Jose right away. 

That’s how they found themselves in Alex and Servando’s living room, waiting for the couple to get back, so they could drive themselves home and fall into their own bed for the night. 

Jose had kept them entertained all afternoon long, convincing Tobin and Christen to play with him and his toys with ease. They settled for watching Mickey Mouse once they all had some food inside of them. 

Christen has just finished putting the toys away again, moving to quickly help Tobin put away the final dishes, when they hear the front door open. 

“Hey, you two.” Alex walks through the door first, heading into the kitchen to greet them both. 

“Hey, Al.” Christen smiles, turning around as she puts another plate away. “Did you have a good time?” 

“Yeah, it was so nice to finally go on a proper date again.” She nods as Tobin closes the dishwasher again, seeing that all the dishes are gone. 

“You guys didn’t have to clean or tidy up.” Servando mentions when he sees that their kitchen and living room look way better than it did over the last few days. 

“It’s no problem.” Tobin shrugs, looking around to make sure everything is back in place. 

They stay for another ten minutes, sitting down and having a short chat before Tobin decides that Christen and her should probably go home. 

Alex thanks them over and over again on the way out, Tobin and Christen simply waving her off and telling her that they’re more than happy to look after Jose anytime. 

They finally make it home twenty minutes later, locking up the house and getting ready for bed right away. 

Christen is exhausted by the time she falls into bed, lying down under the covers and pulling the duvet all the way up to her nose. 

Tobin comes and joins her a short moment later, lying down and facing the younger woman. 

Hazel eyes meet green ones from the moonlight shining in through the window. 

It’s so dark that Tobin thinks she wouldn’t even be able to identify the color of Christen’s eyes, if she didn’t know it like the back of her hand. 

Christen’s eyes mesmerize her everytime she looks into them and she spends every day falling more in love with not only her eyes, but also Christen herself. 

She’s always assumed that the reason she loves Christen’s eyes is because of how special and unique they are, and because of the love and kindness they hold in them. She loves looking into them in the sunlight, when the green in Christen’s eyes sparkles so much that Tobin thinks her eyes could be blinding, if she doesn’t pass out from the beauty of them first. 

And that’s true - all of it is - but over the years she’s realized that this isn’t the only reason. 

They bring her safety, comfort and reassurance, but most of all when she looks into Christen’s eyes, she sees their whole future. She sees it all. Every piece of it. 

She sees the laughter in their home, their future children running around, them growing old together, the adventures they’ll have, and so much more. 

Tobin sees forever in them and that should scare her, but it doesn’t. 

It should scare her, but it’s Christen, so instead of being scared, she’s never been more sure of anything in her life. 

She thinks back to everything that Christen and her idea of forever involves. 

_Children running around._

It’s been a crazy two years for them, but they’ve learned so much about each other. They just continue to grow as individuals and their marriage just keeps getting stronger and stronger. 

They’ve both found new interests and hobbies, they’ve reconnected with old friends and made new ones, they’ve proudly introduced the other to those friends, they’ve gone on a vacation with their friends, they’ve road tripped a handful of States over the summer break, they’ve spent time with family. 

And they’ve also bickered and argued, laughed and cried, made up and forgave each other, made love and went on dates. 

They’ve done so much, and Tobin can’t wait to see what’s in store for them for the future.

One of Tobin’s favorite things to think about over the past few years is Christen with their niece and nephews. 

Tyler and Katie have both had another child over the past two years. 

Katie welcomed a baby boy into the world a few months ago, Jake, who they’ve only had the chance to meet once so far. Tyler also welcomed another baby boy into the world, Lucas, who was born eleven months ago now and is about to have his first birthday.

Tobin thinks about Christen taking care of them whenever they’re around, always making sure they’re safe and happy and loved. She thinks about Christen playing with Cole, Kayden, Ellie and Isaac - and now Lucas and Jake too. She thinks about Christen reading bedtime stories to Isaac whenever they’re at Tyler’s house or babysitting. 

It warms her heart to watch the way she interacts with children, seeing how gentle she is with them and how she always seems to have the right answers. 

Even when she watches Christen with Jose, she treats him like family. And Tobin knows that Alex and Servando might as well be family - all of their close friends are - but there’s something special about watching Christen interact with children who aren’t in their family, where they don’t have that family connection right away. 

“Babe?” Tobin whispers, finally pulling herself out of her thoughts and deciding to voice what’s on her mind. 

Christen nods into the pillow, signaling for Tobin to continue without making a sound. 

Tobin reaches her hand out, resting it on Christen’s hip and running it up and down one time. 

She takes a deep breath, her eyes scanning the room before meeting Christen’s again. “Do you think we’re ready to be parents?” 

Christen takes a moment to think about it, wanting to show Tobin that her answer is serious, even if she’s been thinking about this over the past couple of months. 

“Yeah.” She whispers into the darkness. “Yeah, I do.” 

“I know it’s a massive responsibility and something that’ll change our life completely, but I can’t stop thinking about it.” Tobin continues, wanting Christen to know how serious she is about this. “We’ve been married for over two years now, and whilst I love being married to you, I really want to take this next step.” 

Christen chuckles at the way Tobin worded her sentence. “Us being married wouldn’t change if we have kids...at least I hope it wouldn’t.” 

“I’m certainly not planning on letting you go, ever.” Tobin emphasises, lifting her head and leaving a kiss on Christen’s cheek. “I never want to live without you.” 

“Good, because I’m never letting you go either.” Christen announces through a small smile. 

Tobin watches as she takes a deep breath, looking away for a split second, before nodding and bringing them back to their original topic. “I think we’re ready too. We know that we don’t exactly want a tiny family, and that we want those kids close in age, so I don’t think we should have them too late.” 

“Yeah, I agree.” She nods as Christen confirms her own thoughts from earlier that day. “And the whole process is more complicated for us, so no matter which option we go for, it could still take a year or longer.” 

Tobin moves her hand from Christen’s waist, finding Christen’s hands and holding them in her own. 

“Have you ever thought as far as whether you’d want to adopt or try IVF?” Christen wonders. 

This is something they’ve never talked about before. 

They’ve discussed wanting children and how many, but that’s all they’ve ever needed. They both knew that everything else was more likely to change, so they were more than happy with the simple confirmation of both wanting to start a family together. 

“I’ve always been open minded towards both.” Tobin tells her honestly, “I think I might want to carry a child one day, but as of right now, I’m still not one hundred percent sure about that.” 

“That’s okay.” Christen reassures her, brushing a strand of hair behind Tobin’s ear. “We can revisit that whenever you feel like talking about it and that decision is up to you.” 

“What about you?” Tobin returns the question, listening with open ears. 

“I’ve _always_ wanted to carry a child, ever since I was old enough to really think about it, but adopting or fostering to adopt is something I’d be willing to look into more as well.” Christen admits, knowing that she wants to experience pregnancy if she gets the chance to, but also knowing she’d never hesitate to adopt a child. 

“So maybe we could either do both or just go with IVF, depending on how well it works out for us, what we decide and what life throws at us throughout the years?” Tobin suggests. 

She definitely wants Christen to have the chance to carry at least one of their children if that’s what she wants, so Tobin feels like that’s a good starting point and then they could make their decisions from that point forward. 

“Yeah, let’s just do whatever feels right along the way.” Christen agrees with her. “IVF can be a lengthy process that doesn’t always go to plan, so we have to be prepared for it to potentially fail, but there will always be the same risk with an adoption falling through too.” 

There’s a moment of silence, before Tobin speaks up again, wanting to confirm that Christen and her are on the same page before she assumes anything. “Do you think you’d want to carry our first child?” 

Christen breaks into a smile, nodding without hesitation. “Yeah, I would love that.”

Tobin’s smile mirrors Christen’s as she responds. “So let’s find the right doctor and start looking into this, yeah?”

“Yeah, let’s do it.” Christen nods eagerly, leaning up and kissing Tobin’s lips. 

“I love you.” She cuddles into Tobin’s arms, nuzzling her head into her and letting the scent comfort her. 

“I love you, babe.” Tobin responds, holding her even closer. 

Christen falls asleep that night in the safety of her wife’s arms, the feeling of it making her breath even out right away. 

When she wakes up in the morning, she thinks she might have been smiling all night long.

\-------

Over the next few weeks they start searching for a doctor, contacting them and finding out more about the whole process. 

And then, they start it.

It’s lengthy and tiring, but also new and exciting at the same time. 

That’s how they eventually find themselves here - standing in their bathroom with a pregnancy test, trying to be patient before they can look at the result. 

Tobin reaches out for Christen, using her finger to lift up Christen’s chin. “Just remember that it’s okay if it doesn’t work. We can try again and they told us that there’s only a small chance that it works right away.” 

Christen nods, chewing her lip with nerves. 

She takes a deep breath, picking up the pregnancy test and looking at the result displayed on it. 

Tobin watches as a tear drops out of Christen’s eye, another one running down her cheek before Tobin has the chance to reach out and catch it. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Tobin says in a gentle voice, watching as Christen shakes her head. 

And just when she’s about to comfort her, tell Christen it’s okay and not her fault, because she needs Christen to know that this isn’t something she can control, she sees her wife wanting to say something. 

Tobin is expecting a negative result by now and whilst she’s a little sad and disappointed herself, she knows that they can’t just click their fingers and have a child. 

It doesn’t work like that.

But Tobin tries her best to hide that disappointment, because it isn’t possible for her to love her wife any more than she already does now, and she never wants to see the woman upset or blame herself. 

Well, Tobin thinks she can’t love her wife more than she already does, but she’s about to be proven very wrong. 

“B- baby, it worked. I’m pregnant.” Christen finally chokes out as she turns the test around, the shock of seeing the result be a positive one had caused her to freeze and be unable to respond to Tobin for a short moment. 

Tobin has a quick glance at the pregnancy test before crashing into Christen for a hug. 

She holds Christen _so_ tight, slightly lifting her off the floor and spinning them around. 

Tobin has tears streaming down her face, with her cheeks hurting from how widely she’s smiling, but she doesn’t let go. She doesn’t let go until her arms can no longer hold Christen up from where her legs are now wrapped around Tobin’s waist. 

But even then, Christen’s arms stay securely wrapped around her neck, with no sign of releasing the hold she has on Tobin. 

“Tobin, we’re having a baby.” Christen beams as she pulls Tobin in for a deep kiss, melting into her lips and touch. 

She rests her head against Christen’s forehead when they pull away, closing her eyes for a moment, before opening them with a wide smile. 

“I’m so happy.” Tobin whispers, not even intending to make it loud enough for Christen to hear. 

Christen does hear it though and holds her a little closer. “You make me the happiest person alive.” 

\-------

Christen takes her time opening her eyes to the late summer sunrise. It’s slowly reaching the last days of September, meaning it’s officially becoming fall. 

She looks at her wife, who’s slowly drifting out of her sleep, but not quite prepared to open her eyes yet. 

Christen is about to cuddle a little further into her and maybe close her eyes again until their alarm goes off, when it hits her. 

“Oh no.” She mumbles, practically leaping out of bed, not even switching on the bathroom light on her way in when she realizes what’s about to happen. 

_Great...I guess this is the start of morning sickness._

Christen clings onto the toilet, already wondering how she’s going to put up with this for at least another month, maybe even a little longer. She’s silently cursing the feeling in her stomach right now. 

Before she even has the chance to think about this any further or lean forwards for the second time, the light switches on and she hears the bathroom door open. 

Tobin reaches for the hair Christen is holding back, grabbing one of the hair ties next to the sink and using it to put Christen’s hair up in a messy bun. 

She sits down next to the toilet, on her knees, and pulls her wife into her lap. 

Tobin gently rubs her back, making smooth circles with her fingers, until Christen finally feels less nauseous and like the vomiting has stopped for the day. 

“Morning sickness isn’t fun, huh?” Tobin gives her a soft smile, pulling Christen closer when she leans into Tobin, resting her side against Tobin’s front and finding a place for her head to rest by Tobin’s neck. 

Christen shakes her head, closing her eyes for a brief moment. 

“My breath stinks.” She mumbles, earning a small chuckle from Tobin. 

“Do you want a glass of water?” Tobin wonders, knowing she must feel a little dehydrated now. 

Just like she’d assumed, Christen nods her head. “Yes, please.” 

“Why don’t you brush your teeth, and I’ll get you a glass of water and your vitamins?” She suggests as she kisses Christen’s head, standing up once the younger woman is on her feet again. 

She makes her way downstairs after brushing her teeth, spotting Tobin in the middle of putting the vitamins back. 

Christen thanks her, taking the vitamins Tobin had left out next to her glass, and then following with a few sips of water. 

“What time is it?” She turns to Tobin, waiting for an answer. 

“I think it’s still quite early.” Tobin announces, pressing the home button on her phone and turning it towards Christen. 

“Can we cuddle until we’d normally get up?” She requests, looking at Tobin with soft eyes. “I’m super tired.” 

Tobin takes Christen’s hand, leading her up the stairs and back into bed. The snuggle back into the covers, curling up together. 

And Christen thinks that maybe she takes her earlier thoughts back. 

Maybe she doesn’t need to curse morning sickness, because maybe it’s not all that bad when you have someone holding you close and looking after you. 

Unfortunately, they do have to get up eventually though. They can’t just stay in the comfort of their own bed and each other's arms forever. 

They _very slowly_ drag themselves out of bed and into the shower, both pleasantly surprised when they eventually make it into the car. 

“Are you sure you’re okay to go to work today?” Tobin checks for the fiftieth time, her hand resting on the center control and waiting to shift it into drive so they can set off for work. 

“Baby, I’m fine.” Christen lets out a light chuckle, looking over at Tobin. “Almost every woman gets morning sickness during pregnancy and I’ll have to get used to it for the next few weeks until it goes again.” 

“I know, but I don't like seeing you in discomfort.” Tobin pouts, thinking back to watching Christen vomit earlier that morning. 

Christen kisses the pout off her lips, a small smile on her face. “Just wait until I start annoying you because of all the foods that’ll make me feel nauseous by even smelling them.” 

“Hey, you’re carrying our baby.” Tobin reminds her, thinking of the fact that they have a gynaecologist appointment coming up this week so Christen can have her first pregnancy scan. She just hopes so much that everything is okay and that they both stay healthy. “I think I can deal with anything you throw at me and you’ll just have to let me know what you’re craving so I can make you something else.” 

“Baby, I can still look after myself too, you know.” Christen reaches her hand over to Tobin’s thigh, rubbing her thumb over the fabric of Tobin’s Nike sweatpants. 

Tobin gives her a soft kiss, looking right into Christen’s green eyes after. “I know, but I want to. I want to take care of you and give you everything you need and want.” 

“Okay.” Christen smiles, seeing how sincere Tobin is about her words. “Just know that you already do that though. I have everything I could ever want when I’m with you.” 

\-------

They make it to their first ever ultrasound appointment two days later. 

Christen is nervously lying there, tapping her fingers on the examination table and sending a silent prayer that everything is going to be fine. 

Tobin notices Christen’s nerves, knowing that she needs to comfort her wife instead of showing her own. 

She covers Christen’s hand with her own, stopping the movements. “Babe, look at me.”

Christen turns her head, her eyes full of worry as she tries to find comfort in the familiar hazel ones. 

“No matter what happens, it’s going to be okay.” She tells her with sincerity, just crossing her fingers that their baby is healthy. “We have each other and that’s all that matters. As long as we’re together, everything else will work out.” 

Christen nods her head, knowing that Tobin is right. 

Before she’s able to speak up again, their doctor walks through the door and enters the room. 

“Christen! Tobin! It’s good to see you both again.” Dr Stoney greets them with a wide smile. 

She is the doctor they’d met right at the start of this process. She’s been there to give them information and help them throughout this whole thing, ever since they first met her. 

Christen and Tobin had called her after taking another few pregnancy tests and Dr Stoney had been delighted for them, setting up a gynaecologist appointment for Christen’s ultrasound for once she’s seven weeks along, after having her first prenatal appointment. 

She gets everything set up, making small conversation with them in between and then getting started. 

After a moment Dr Stoney smiles, turning towards them as she moves the transducer along Christen’s skin a little. _“This_ is your little one’s heartbeat.” 

Tobin listens to the sound and it’s better than anything she could have ever imagined. 

She’s seen videos on Facebook of this before - parents getting emotional at the sound of thumping and she’s never understood it. She never understood how that simple sound could make someone happy. 

Now though, it just hits her. 

When she hears the heartbeat, the sound makes its way inside of her and warms Tobin’s heart. It makes it all seem so real and the sound almost overwhelms her. 

Tobin squeezes Christen’s hand, looking down at her wife. This is _her_ wife. Her beautiful and incredible wife. 

Her eyes move, flickering up to the screen in front of Dr Stoney. 

And this is going to be _their_ baby. This is going to be someone that will change their whole life and she gets to hear that tiny little heart beat already. 

Just like that she’s fallen in love with their future child before it’s even born yet. 

And she’s just- 

She’s- 

“I’m so lucky.” Tobin whispers into Christen’s ear, feeling the emotions hit her. 

“Everything is looking great and from what I can see, I don’t have any concerns so far.” Dr Stoney tells them both after another few moments, seeing that she can’t spot anything that needs looking into. “I’ll make sure to set up another appointment with you guys for your next ultrasound at preferably eighteen or nineteen weeks.” 

“There it’ll pretty much be the same routine. It’ll all be a lot clearer by then, so I’ll be able to check for any physical abnormalities, which are important to detect, and you’ll be able to find out the sex of your baby if you choose to.” Dr Stoney continues. “It’s nothing to worry about though, these ultrasounds are just routine, and as I’ve said, I can’t see any issues so far, which is always a great sign.” 

“I do need to see you for your regular prenatal checks though, so if you have five minutes, we could schedule the appointments for the ones over the next few months already.” Dr Stoney offers, knowing it’ll be easier to just sort it now and in person before it ends up stressing either of them. 

“That would be good, thank you.” Christen nods, wanting to be able to plan ahead and know when her future appointments are taking place.

Christen pulls her shirt down again, which still fits perfectly over her belly. 

She can very slowly begin to see her ab lines fading, and her breasts are definitely feeling sore and starting to grow, but when she’s fully clothed, there aren’t any obvious changes to her belly yet. 

She isn’t exactly surprised though, looking back at pregnancy pictures of her mom and seeing that up to the last month, her belly wasn’t noticeable and she just looked like she gained a little weight. 

“Have you got any plans on when you’ll tell your family?” Dr Stoney wonders out of curiosity. 

“Ehm, not yet.” Tobin shakes her head, “We haven’t spent much time talking about that, but we obviously wanted to wait until we know everything is looking good so far.” 

Dr Stoney nods, about to chip in again when Christen starts talking. “We both prefer sharing news in person, so probably not until we see them again. We’re planning to spend Thanksgiving with my siblings this year though, so if we’re able to hide it, maybe Christmas?” 

Tobin nods along to Christen’s words, knowing that they’d both prefer to tell them in person. Especially since Tobin is sure that the minute her parents find out, they’d likely hop on the first flight to California, just to get a chance to hug them. 

“You both seem like very patient people, but I could never wait that long.” Dr Stoney chuckles, thinking back to her pregnancy. “I told my family that I was pregnant way before I was supposed to, just because I was _that_ excited and impatient.” 

“We don’t want them to find out without us telling them, so it’ll just depend on how much Christen is showing, I guess.” Tobin tells her, knowing that if they had the option, they’d both tell all of their family in this instant, but they want to wait. 

They’ve played around with the idea of waiting until they know the sex of the baby. The whole baby showers and gender reveal parties aren’t really their thing, so they’d much rather announce Christen’s pregnancy once they know the gender, than tell them beforehand and somehow end up being roped into a party. 

Alex had one for her pregnancy, and it truly isn’t their style to make so much fuss. They’d much rather spend time with their family and share the news with them. 

“Well, your muscles are still quite tight since it’s your first pregnancy and due to you clearly being quite physically fit.” Dr Stoney begins, being cut off by Tobin. 

“Are you hitting on my wife?” She teases, knowing that she meant it in a professional way but raising her eyebrows at the woman anyway.

“You know what I mean.” Dr Stoney laughs, rolling her eyes before getting back to what she was saying. “Apart from you also being a few inches taller than the average height for women, every woman has different sized bumps, even if the media doesn’t always show that.” 

“It’s actually more than common for women not to start showing properly until around the fifteenth or sixteenth week, so my guess is that you might even have a few weeks on top of that. Based on how your baby is positioned right now this could be very likely, but even if you do start showing earlier, an oversized hoodie will do the job until you tell them.” Dr Stoney winks, knowing they both wouldn’t want their family guessing it before they’re able to tell them. 

She’s met the couple plenty of times now and she’s so happy to have Christen as one of her patients. Although Tobin and Christen come as a package deal, so she classes Tobin as her patient too. 

Dr Stoney had told her wife about Tobin and Christen the minute she met them. 

She hasn’t been in this job for very long and they were the first same-sex couple she got to work with, which she was beyond happy about. She just wanted them to have a positive experience and was so glad to learn that they ended up as her patients, instead of with someone they might feel uncomfortable with. 

When Dr Stoney and her wife first looked for a doctor, before having their first child, they had some conversations which felt like they just took fifty steps backwards, despite being in a system that’s supposed to protect you and not discriminate against you. 

Knowing that she is the first doctor Tobin and Christen came to and knowing that their experience in the sense of acceptance and respect is all on her, makes her feel relieved. 

She’s loving getting to know the couple better too - seeing how genuine, kind and down-to-earth they both are. Dr Stoney just knows that a child couldn’t be born into a better family and she already knows that once they have a child, it’s going to be safe and cared for. 

What makes her smile the most is their love for each other. 

Whilst she’s seen the darker side of families, she’s also seen this before too. She’s seen couples falling even more in love with each other when there’s a child born into the household and everything leading up to that. Dr Stoney has also seen couples being all loved up from the idea of pregnancy, but then living in the most stressful household during the harder times of pregnancy, which sometimes even broke some relationships. 

This is different though. This is something rare that she’s seen a few times, but wants to see more of. 

These are the types of patients that warm her heart. 

It’s clear to her that Tobin and Christen’s love for each other goes way beyond an _I love you because we’re in a relationship_. She could see the love in their eyes before she even knew their names. 

And that is _so_ important to her, because it makes her so sure of them taking this step together because they want to have this life with the other person, and not just because both of them want a child. 

She can tell how patient and understanding Tobin is, so she knows that she’s going to help Christen when times are tougher during her pregnancy. She’ll support her and do anything to make sure she’s comfortable, which is going to be so important for Christen to have a good pregnancy. 

It’ll give her a life away from any stress that might be on her at work, or even just from her hormones, and give her the comfort of her own home and wife by knowing that they’re her safe place and somewhere she can stop thinking. 

Dr Stoney could list so many reasons why she felt positive about making them her patients right from the start, but most of all though, she can see that they are ready. 

They’re ready to have a child together and they’re ready for the new responsibilities they’ll have. It’s clear to her that this is something they want and that they’re prepared for everything that comes with having a newborn. This just makes her so confident in the fact that they’ll be able to handle it with as much ease as possible. 

Their relationship will be able to handle it. 

Sure she sees couples everyday where their relationship can handle it, where they have a happy home and a happy family life. That’s something that brings a smile on her face every time, but this is something completely separate which she’s only had the privilege of experiencing a handful of times. 

With all of that also comes the teasing she’s about to get for winking at Christen. 

“Once again, doc, I know my wife is hot, but she’s not yours to wink at.” Tobin jokes, leaving a kiss on Christen’s cheek. 

Christen just laughs along with Dr Stoney. She turns to Tobin with a curious look on her face. “I’m starting to think I don’t need a child, seeing as I apparently married one.” 

“Hey!” Tobin crosses her arms, “Tobin and baby Heath are offended.” 

Christen and Dr Stoney exchange an amused look as Christen stands up again, grabbing her purse and making sure she’s got everything. 

They quickly get their upcoming appointments arranged before they shake Dr Stoney’s hand, Christen finally being able to drag Tobin out of there before she comes with her next joke. 

As they walk towards the car, Tobin wraps an arm around Christen’s shoulder. 

She lets herself melt into the touch, resting her head down and letting out a deep breath. 

This is something Christen has noticed a lot since the moment they found out she is pregnant. Tobin has always been protective of Christen, but she’s even more protective now. 

She’s constantly touching Christen, whether it’s just fingertips brushing against her arm, a hand on her lower back or thigh, an arm around her waist, or anything else. It’s as if she has to protect Christen from everything. 

She’s always taking care of her and keeping her safe, something Tobin has done since the start of their relationship, even if there’s nothing to protect her from in that moment. 

Now that Christen is pregnant, this seems to have multiplied by a hundred. 

It makes Christen chuckle, but she doesn’t say anything.

She doesn’t say anything because she knows that Tobin just loves her and wants to look after her. Christen knows Tobin better than anyone else, which also means that she knows Tobin will probably be embarrassed or even feel like she’s doing something wrong, if Christen points out _just_ how protective she’s being. 

So Christen lets her be. It doesn’t harm anyone and if anything, it makes Christen feel more loved and safer than ever. 

\-------

Tobin feels herself slowly waking up, even though she knows that it’s not morning yet. 

She opens one eye, seeing her suspicions being confirmed by the darkness outside. 

She rolls over, prepared to go back to sleep, when she notices that her arm falls onto the mattress instead of wrapping around a body. 

“Chris?” Tobin lifts her head up, opening her eyes again and trying to see in the darkness. She can’t spot her wife anywhere though, so she climbs out of bed, shivering now that she isn’t under the warm duvet anymore.

She sees that the bathroom door is fully shut, but Christen always leaves at least a small gap in the door, so she knows that she won’t find her wife in there. 

Tobin walks out of their bedroom, seeing that the light by the staircase is switched on. 

She drags her feet down the stairs, seeing Christen come into view. 

Tobin has to stifle a laugh, knowing she should have expected this and wondering why the kitchen wasn’t the first place she went to look for Christen. 

“Babe.” Tobin approaches her with a gentle and quiet voice, assuming that Christen hadn’t spotted her yet and not wanting to startle her. 

Christen looks like a kid who’s just been caught doing something they shouldn’t, quickly taking another bite of the toast she’d made. 

They lock eyes, staring at each other for a short second before they both burst out laughing. 

Tobin walks over to Christen, wrapping her arms around Christen’s shoulders and pulling her into a hug. 

“You should be in bed, cuddling with me and keeping me warm.” She complains, leaning her head a little into Christen’s.

“I was hungry!” Christen shrugs in response, recalling her waking up not long ago and instantly craving something to eat. 

Tobin just chuckles, linking her arms together behind Christen’s neck and leaning back to look at her. 

Her eyes travel up Christen’s face until they land on her favorite pair of eyes. She looks into them, trying to figure out which color they are today. They look more grey than green in this light, with even a small hint of brown in them. 

Tobin doesn’t think she’ll ever get over how beautiful Christen is.

“I love you so much.” Tobin softly exhales, before Christen’s lips meet hers. 

They stand there, making out for a long moment, until they pull away to catch their breath again. 

Tobin drops her arms from where they’d been resting, moving them all the way down to Christen’s belly. She lowers down on her knees, keeping her hands still and kissing the soft fabric of Christen’s sleep shirt. 

“And you. I love you so much already, little one. We’re so excited to meet you next year.” She leaves another kiss there, looking up at Christen in the moment and seeing the wide smile that she loves so much. 

“You’re going to be the most amazing mom.” Christen tells Tobin as she stands up again. The tears welling up in Christen’s eyes tell Tobin just how much she means the comment. “Seriously, you’re the best aunt to the boys and Ellie. They all adore you so much and you look after them so well. No matter what, you’re always looking out for them and looking after them and you’re always looking after me as well.”

She talks to Tobin with a serious expression on her face, her lips curling up just slightly, to show her how much she means this. 

“Chris-” Tobin cuts her off, but she quickly gets interrupted again by Christen. 

“No, I really, really mean that.” She admits, continuing once she has Tobin’s full attention. “You’re so patient, honest and understanding all of the time. You show me that you love me in so many ways and take such good care of me.”

“My life would look so different without you. You’re my everything and having you by my side means the whole world to me.” Christen knows it’s a mix of the tiredness and hormones talking now, but she means every word. “Having you by my side is the one thing in my life that I know won’t ever change. I was always meant to find you.” 

Tobin gives her a teary smile, kissing Christen’s lips softly, but she isn’t finished yet. 

She looks at Tobin again and then continues speaking. “Tobs, you have such a big heart and I admire you so much for that. I’m so lucky to have you in my life.” 

Okay, maybe she’s in a bit of a sappy mood. 

That’s what happens when she hasn’t had enough sleep in a couple of days and way too much time to think. Therefore, also giving Tobin way too much time to look after Christen. 

She loves Tobin, she really does, but sometimes biting her tongue wasn’t enough to stop her thoughts spilling out. Christen knows Tobin has the best intentions, but she feels that Tobin not even letting Christen vacuum at eleven weeks pregnant is just a little over the top. 

She’s sure she’ll be shoving the vacuum right into Tobin’s hands at the end of her pregnancy, not that Tobin would even let her touch it in first place, so she’s more than happy to do all the cleaning at the moment. 

Well, all the cleaning that Tobin lets her do. 

One of these days she’s going to write all of this down and then tell Tobin about all of her antics during Christen’s pregnancy when they’re boring and old. 

Tobin gives Christen an emotional hug, peppering her face in kisses before reaching her lips. 

“Babe, it’s so late.” Tobin points out, reaching for Christen’s plate. “Let’s just go to bed.” 

“Tobin!” Christen snatches the plate away again, making Tobin take a step back with her arms up. 

“Never mess with a pregnant woman.” Tobin mumbles, “Especially when it’s her food.” 

“I’m hungry.” Christen claims, sighing and taking another bite. “I was thinking though and-”

“Nothing good ever came from that.” She teases, making Christen roll her eyes before continuing. 

“Who are we going to choose as the godparents?” She questions, leaning against the kitchen island. 

Tobin sighs, switching her mind to this conversation. She would ask Christen if they _really_ have to talk about this right now - at two in the morning - but considering Christen’s reaction to her trying to put her plate away and drag her back to bed, that’s probably not the best idea right now. 

“Kelley.” Tobin suggests without missing a beat. “Honestly, I’m quite laid back when it comes to us discussing this and who’s going to be the godparents to our child, but I think we should definitely pick Kelley.” 

“She’s your best friend and has been by your side through so much. She’s also one of my closest friends now and she’s been there for us through everything.” She reasons before Christen even has a chance to comment, “Kelley is just- She’s Kelley. And let’s be honest, Kelley is going to love our little one _so much._ She’s just always supported us and our relationship.”

“Kelley is family.” Tobin finishes, looking at Christen to see what her response is going to be. 

“Definitely.” Christen agrees with no doubt in her mind, “She _is_ family and I can’t wait to tell her that we’re going to have a baby. I already know that the two of them are going to end up being super close.” 

“Okay, so Kelley?” Tobin wants to confirm, getting her response when Christen gives her an eager nod. 

It doesn’t take them long to decide Tyler and Jeffrey are going to be the other two godparents and now, they’re growing more and more impatient to tell everyone. 

Eventually, Tobin manages to drag Christen back to bed, so they can get another few hours of sleep before having to get to work. 

\-------

“I miss you.” Cole pouts through their FaceTime call, clearly not pleased about the fact that Tobin and Christen are spending Thanksgiving in Los Angeles this year, instead of flying out to see the Heath family like they normally do. 

“We miss you too.” Christen gives him a closed-mouth smile, missing her nephew so much. 

Tobin and Christen flew to New Jersey over the summer break, staying with Perry and Taylor for a week before then flying out to Arizona and spending a week with Katie and James so they could spend some time with Ellie and Jake. 

They are all growing up way too fast and they want to treasure every moment they get to spend with them. 

“We’re gonna see you for Christmas though.” Tobin points, “And it’s not very long until then.”

“Will you play some soccer with me then?” Cole asks with excitement, it still being one of his favorite things to do with his aunts. 

He was _so_ excited to have them at one of his soccer games over the summer and he beamed proudly when they cheered loudly for him after he scored. Even with him growing up so fast and now being _too old_ and _too cool_ for a lot of things, he ran over and hugged both of them right after his game. 

Cole still thinks his aunts are the best people ever and looks up to them so much. 

Sometimes, when he has one of his moments, he’s also way more likely to listen to anything Tobin or Christen say than his parents. 

“Of course.” Tobin agrees right away, knowing there’s no way she’ll let Christen play soccer, but she’ll definitely make sure the two of them play together. She’s sure Christen will be more than happy to sit on the side and cheer Cole on anyway. 

“Bud, we have to go now because Tyler, Channing and Fran are going to be here soon, but I promise we can FaceTime again this weekend.” Tobin attempts to end their hour-long FaceTime call, having made their way through the whole family, just to then speak to Cole for over thirty minutes. 

“Okay.” He nods with a slight frown on his face. “Will you say hi to Will, Mikel and Fran for me, please?” 

“What about Channing and Tyler?” Tobin jokes, knowing he gets along great with both of them too. He just naturally grew closer to Will and Mikel over the years, and he loves all of the stories Fran tells him. She’s almost like another grandmother to him now, always making sure to buy Katie and Perry’s kids Christmas and birthday presents, and keeping up to date with their latest antics and how they’re doing. 

“Them too.” Cole nods right away. “And can you give Isaac and Lucas a hug for me?” 

The boys are basically like cousins now and Cole takes such good care of them whenever they see each other. 

Tobin is so incredibly proud of how Perry raised Cole. Christen and Tobin adore all their nephews and Ellie, of course they do, but they have a special bond with Cole. 

They love all of them endlessly - and equally - but with Cole being the oldest and playing soccer, it just brought them closer and closer over the years. He loves showing them off to his friends and making Tobin juggle a soccer ball in front of them. 

That was another moment where Tobin thinks of the time she had to hold back her tears and text Perry to tell her how proud she is of the way she raised Cole. He’d called Christen and Tobin, telling them all about his friends, when he mentioned that one of them pointed out the picture in his room. 

It’s a picture of Cole, Christen and Tobin at Cole’s soccer game.

His friend had pointed it out, asking who they were, just for Cole to tell him that they’re his aunts. 

She remembers Cole telling her how his friend went on to ask why they don’t have boyfriends or husbands. At first it had made Tobin take a deep breath, trying not to get annoyed, until Cole told them that he’d explained to his friends that a woman can love another woman too, just like a man can date another man. She was trying so hard to not start crying in front of him when he went on to say _people can love whoever they want to love, there’s nothing wrong with that._

She shakes her head, getting back out of her thoughts and joining Christen and Cole’s conversation again, before hanging up. 

They have a short five minutes to finish setting the table before everyone else arrives. 

Despite telling them not to bring anything, they do. They come loaded with bottles of wine and little appetizers. 

Suddenly Christen is glad that she and Tobin volunteered to host Thanksgiving, considering it’ll be easier for her to just say she’s not in the mood to drink today, instead of Tyler coming at her with the _my house, my rules_ before holding a glass of wine up in her face. 

“Should we take this off?” Tobin kneels down, unzipping Lucas’ jacket and then hanging it up. She helps him untie his shoelaces after, passing them to Lucas and showing him where to put them on the shoe rack. 

Christen watches them with a soft look on her face, her heart melting at the simple interaction. She can’t help but smile when she thinks about the fact that Tobin will be a mom in five and a half months. 

Christen can’t wait to be a parent with her, knowing that she couldn’t have picked anyone better to share her life with.

During her single years after College, Christen’s mom used to tell her something that she once read and Christen hasn’t been able to get out of her head since. 

She used to tell her that you have to choose the person you spend your life with wisely. She would tell her that the person she chooses affects her mental health, the love she feels, her happiness, her success, how her children will be raised, her peace of mind and every other aspect of her life.

It stuck with her, and even if she doesn’t have anything to do with her mom anymore, she knows that this is exactly what she did. 

Christen chose the best person she could ever think of and Tobin is already the biggest family person she knows, so she can’t begin to imagine what an incredible family they are going to have together. 

She’s not afraid of starting a family or whether she’s the right person to be a mother, because she has Tobin by her side. And even though she doesn’t think she could do it without her, she knows she doesn’t have to, because Tobin will be right there every step of the way. 

Nothing scares her when she has Tobin by her side. 

It’s all a bit of a rush, trying to get organized and serve all of the food, but they all take a deep breath once they’re sitting around the table. 

Tobin ends up sitting in between Isaac and Christen. 

She turns to the side, noticing that Tobin is busy talking to Isaac and cutting up his food to make sure it cools down when she sees that Tyler is on the other side of the table and Will is busy giving Lucas something to eat. 

Before she can get lost in her own head, Channing leans over and whispers in her ear. “You’re drooling.” 

“No, I’m not.” Christen whispers back. “We’re married, I don’t need to drool.” 

“Oh, but you are.” Channing smirks. “It’s okay though, we’re all more than used to you having nothing but heart eyes for your wife. Sometimes we wonder if you even know that anyone else is in the room.” 

“Whatever.” Christen mumbles, “I’m not _that_ bad, but I’m not going to apologize for being in love with the person I married.” 

“And I wasn’t going to ask you too.” Channing comments before winking at Christen, “But for the record, you and your heart eyes are pretty bad. It’s cute though.” 

Despite all of the teasing she always has to put up with, there’s nothing better for her than spending time with family. 

Even if she’s having a really hard time not blurting out the fact that she’s pregnant and sticking to their original plan of waiting until they find out the gender before announcing it to anyone. 

They know that they’ll have to tell Kristie beforehand, so they can start sorting out Christen’s maternity leave for when they’ll eventually need it.

It’s still a long time away, but they want to be prepared so Christen doesn’t have to feel stressed about it.

Turns out someone had different ideas though, and their plan didn’t quite work out. 

Not when Tyler is helping them carry the dishes into the kitchen afterwards, so they can clear the table and put the dishwasher on. 

Not when Tyler puts the dishes down on the kitchen counter and accidentally causes the three letters lying on the side to fall onto the floor. 

It isn’t until they hit the floor that Tobin’s eyes go wide, realizing that they’d left the spare sonogram they have under there, with the plan of giving it to Kelley when they eventually tell her. 

Christen’s eyes shoot up to meet Tobin’s when she spots this too, having simply waved Tyler off at first when she apologized for dropping them. 

To their surprise, Tyler just picks all of it back up, not even noticing the sonogram, and then goes to put it back. 

Her mind seems to catch up just in time though, stalling and turning it back around.

She bites her lip when she sees the name and date on the sonogram. Tyler is about to ask questions when she sees the look on Tobin and Christen’s face, it telling her everything she needs to know. 

She doesn’t even say anything, leaving the sonogram on the kitchen counter and almost tackling Christen into a hug. 

“This means what I think it does, right?” Tyler whispers in her ear, wanting to confirm that she’s right. 

“Yeah.” Christen answers before being hugged even tighter. 

Tobin smiles at them, wanting to give the pair a moment and moving past them to help before everyone else starts carrying their own plates too. 

Tyler stops her before she can move past them though. 

“Stop! Where do you think you are going?” She tugs Tobin’s arm, pulling her into the hug too. “Come here.” 

Channing and Fran also walk over to them in that moment, Mikel and Will being busy with Lucas and Isaac. 

“What’s going on here?” Channing comments as she puts her plate down, “Why are we having group hugs?” 

Tyler pulls back, looking at Christen and Tobin to silently tell them that she won’t be saying anything. Sure it’s earlier than they planned to tell the family, but now that Tyler knows, Christen doesn’t want to wait another second to tell them. 

She looks over at Tobin, seeing that her facial expression is telling enough for Christen to know that they’re doing this right now. 

“I’m pregnant.” Christen bites her lip, her cheeks already aching from how wide she’s smiling. 

“You’re pregnant?” Fran’s jaw drops, but Channing is pulling Christen in before she even gets an answer. 

Fran moves past them, embracing Tobin. “Congratulations, Tobs.” She pulls her even closer, “This might just be the best Thanksgiving ever.” 

Will and Mikel end up coming over too, hugging both of them and congratulating them. 

“We have to celebrate!” Channing announces right away. 

“So that’s why you weren’t drinking today.” Mikel nudges Christen. “You don’t drink much, so I believe your excuse of not being in the mood for alcohol, but it makes a lot more sense now.” 

Everyone asks to see the sonogram right away when they move into the living room and sit down there. 

“By the way, you’re the first people that know.” Tobin remembers to warn them, “So not a word to anyone.” 

Christen nods, “We’re planning on telling the family over Christmas and then our friends after, so you better not say anything.” 

“Tyler already ruined the surprise by dropping everything.” Tobin jokes. 

“I was surprised alright.” Tyler remarks with a laugh, “I did not expect this today.” 

Fran just smiles widely, picking the sonogram up again and looking at it. 

Christen leans over to her whilst everyone else is talking, resting her chin on Fran’s arm and looking at it too. 

“This peanut is going to be _so_ loved.” Fran brushes her finger over the picture. 

“Peanut?” Christen looks up at her. 

“Yeah, little peanut.” Fran chuckles, “You can’t tell me you’ve never heard people call a baby that.” 

“No, I have.” Christen chuckles now too, “It’s just cute.” 

Fran kisses her head, squeezing Christen’s hand after. They both know how much this means and that there aren’t enough words to describe the emotions between them right now. 

“Do you think my little peanut is going to be a girl or a boy?” Fran turns her head to look over at Christen, even if Christen stays in her position and doesn’t move to make eye contact. 

The edges of Christen’s mouth curl up into a smile when she hears Fran say _my little peanut_ , already knowing that name is going to stick. 

“Hm, I don’t know.” Christen shrugs, not having spent much time thinking about this before. “I’m not bothered. I’ll be over the moon either way and I just want my child to live a happy and healthy life.” 

"Besides, no matter what they're born as, they can be whoever they want to be when they grow up." She continues, knowing her grandmother will agree with her on this. "I'd never be a parents who doesn't allow a boy to wear clothes that are seen as girly, or a girl to wear something from the boys section, andante they're old enough to voice their own opinion and decide what they prefer, they can be their true self." 

"Tobin wears clothes from the mens section all of the time and as long as she feels comfortable in her clothes, it doesn't matter." She sighs, squeezing Fran's arm. "I just want my kids to be happy, no matter what they wear, who they love, or what they identify as. I'll accept them, no matter what." 

“That’s the best opinion to have and I'll always be there to accept them too.” Fran tells her, feeling so proud of everything Christen went through to get here. She’s so happy to see her granddaughter smiling and laughing all of the time. 

“When do you get to find out the sex of your baby?” She continues, wanting to know right away once Christen finds out. 

Fran already knows that the minute she gets home tonight, she’ll start looking for little gifts to buy Christen and Tobin. She's never been one to go with the stereotypical labels of what girls prefer and what boys prefer anyway, so she knows that she can give them anything she decides to buy, seeing as Tobin and Christen have the same views on that as she does. 

Fran wishes so much that Stacy and Cody would know about this, would celebrate with them and that they’d meet Isaac and Lucas, but they don’t. 

She’s stopped talking about Tyler, Channing and Christen to them. They don’t know about Lucas and Isaac and they won’t know about Christen’s pregnancy either. 

Fran doesn’t feel like it’s her place to tell them. If Tyler, Channing or Christen want them to know about their personal lives, they’ll text them or try to call, like Fran knows Christen does every Mother’s and Father’s day, even if the calls go unanswered. 

Tobin had told her about that a little while ago and she hasn’t been able to get it out of her head since. That was the same day Tobin mentioned the fact that Tyler tried to call them multiple times during both of her pregnancies. 

Fran figures that Stacy and Cody will ask her about any of them if they want to know something and she doesn’t want to start any fights or arguments. 

All three of her grandchildren are living happy and healthy lives, and that’s what matters most to her. She doesn’t want to ruin that by getting their parents involved. 

She just wants to make sure that they know they’re loved and that they have people supporting them. 

In fact, if Stacy and Cody would want to know anything, she’d make them reach out themselves and apologize before asking anything about their personal lives. 

Too much has changed since they last spoke to each other for their current lives to be any of Stacy and Cody’s business. 

“We’ve got another appointment with our gynaecologist for the second ultrasound in three weeks, so we’ll find out then.” She announces as Fran lets out a little squeal. 

Their quiet conversation is interrupted when Tobin wraps her arm around both of them, standing in between the back of their chairs. 

“I already know that little face is going to be the most adorable one I’ve ever seen.” She comments as she looks at the sonogram with them. 

Christen lifts her chin up, sitting up a little so she can look at Tobin and Fran.

“Aren’t you lucky?” Fran nudges Tobin with a hint of teasing in her voice.

“I know, I’m the luckiest.” Tobin takes the comment seriously though, knowing just how lucky she is. “I have the most beautiful and amazing wife, and I’m going to be a mom to the cutest baby ever. I couldn’t ask for anything better.” 

Christen shakes her head with a smile, leaving a quick kiss on Tobin’s lips. She intertwines her fingers with the hand Tobin has wrapped around her shoulders, squeezing it to show her just how much she loves her and that she’s just as lucky. 

Tobin leaves them after that, walking over to the kitchen to grab another drink. Fran joins her when she sees that Christen is now in a conversation with Mikel, too busy talking about something that she couldn’t quite catch onto. 

Fran just stands next to Tobin for a moment, nudging her and then speaking in a low voice so they wouldn’t be overheard, even if the other conversations were too loud for that anyway. 

“Since it’s Thanksgiving, I just need to remind you that I’m so thankful you came into our lives.” She announces with a proud smile on her face. 

“You completely changed Christen, in the best way possible, and I’ve never seen her as free and as happy as when she’s with you. She loves you so much and you gave her a whole new life - one where she can be a true self.” 

“You also gave her something that none of us would ever be able to.” She continues in a soft, but quiet, voice. “You gave her a safe place and a home, like when she told me that she finally understands that home is a person and not a place. And you give her love and safety, you give her everything, but you also gave her another chance at living life with a family in it.” 

“Of course Christen has Channing, Mikel, Tyler, Will, Charles and I - and she always will - but there’s only so much we can do for her.” Fran explains her thoughts. “You gave her a whole new family, who she loves _so_ much.”

“She has Cindy and Jeff, who are the best by the way, as her parents-in-law and they’re the closest thing she has now to having parents. Sure, she doesn’t see them as her parents, but she has a mother and father figure in her life if she ever needs one.” 

“I know she texts your mom all of the time and Cindy sometimes mentions it to tell me how much she loves it. She loves when Christen texts her about the smallest things, like recipes or what she can add when she accidentally gets one of the ingredients wrong for dinner. She even sometimes asks her something random like which shoes she should wear when you two go out on dates.” 

“Or when she texted your dad the other week about that problem she had with her car and you weren’t home at the time, so she couldn’t ask you right that second to check if it’s safe to drive or not.” Fran has a bright smile on her face as she continues talking, “These moments are so normal for Christen and your parents now, but they mean the world to all of them.” 

“And then she has your sisters and brother, who Christen bonded with for different reasons, but I know she adores every single one of them and they’re like siblings to her now too. I don’t even think we have to mention how much Christen loves Cole, Kayden, Jake and Ellie. Christen needs them in her life and she misses those kids with all of her heart when you’re not with them.” 

She can’t help the sympathetic smile when she remembers that they won’t get to see their nephews and niece for another few weeks. “I know you do too and I know you’re more than aware of how much Christen loves the people she has in her life, but sometimes I think you need to hear it from an outside perspective just to get a better understanding of it.” 

“I admire the relationship you two have with each other so much, and Tobin, there’ll never be enough words to tell you how happy I am that you found one another. But no matter how many years it’s been, I will tell you over and over again that I love you as much as I love my own grandchildren. Having you in _my_ life was something so unexpected, but I want just as much happiness for you as an individual, as I want for both of you in your marriage.”

Tobin, with tears in her eyes that are threatening to spill onto her cheeks, pulls Fran into such a tight hug, that for a moment she feels like she might stop breathing. 

“I love you too.” Is the only response Tobin can come up with in the moment. 

“I know I’ve already said this, but I’m so happy for you and Chris. You’re going to make incredible parents and I can’t wait to meet my third great grandchild.” Fran squeezes Tobin’s shoulders a little tighter before taking a step back. 

“We have a lot of celebrating to do, so let’s join everyone else again.” 

They end up telling Kristie two weeks later, just to make it easier for them to sort out Christen’s maternity leave next year. 

Kristie was _so_ excited for them and already knew that she was going to face a lot of struggles to avoid telling anyone about it - especially Rachel. 

Christen and Tobin both know that they want to tell Kelley before Christmas, so unfortunately she’ll know before the Heath family, but they know the wait to tell them in person will be worth it when they see their reactions. 

\-------

Christen stretches her body as much as she can without waking her wife - who is currently letting out soft snores with her head resting on Christen’s chest. 

The movement only causes Tobin to stir slightly, simply nuzzling her face into Christen’s neck. Her hand moves under Christen’s shirt, resting on her belly. 

She smiles, kissing Tobin’s head and running her fingers through her hair. 

Christen is about to go back to sleep, knowing that it’s way too early to wake up, when she feels something a little like butterflies. 

She shrugs it off, thinking Tobin probably just moved her hand a little with a light touch. 

But then she feels it again and all of the sudden her eyes go wide until she has a beaming smile on her face. 

“Tobs.” Christen whispers, lightly rubbing her back in an attempt to wake her up. 

When Tobin doesn’t as much as move a muscle, Christen starts trying to shake her body awake, only moving it slightly. 

“Babe, no. I’m sleepy.” Tobin mumbles, trying to hide her face even further. 

“Tobin.” Christen tries again, making the woman mumble words of complaint in her sleepy state. 

“Baby!” She tries once more, determined to get Tobin awake enough to tell her this. “I just felt a little kick for the first time.” 

“What? Really?” Tobin’s head shoots up all of the sudden, wanting to confirm that she wasn’t dreaming and did in fact hear what Christen just said. 

Christen lifts up Tobin’s hand, placing it on her belly with her one on top. 

“Wait for it.” She whispers and then she feels another little kick. 

Tobin moves her other hand so it’s on Christen’s belly too, almost instantly feeling another kick. 

She adjusts the way she’s sitting, moving so it’s less uncomfortable and then placing her hand down again. 

Tobin shuffles further down the bed, leaving a kiss on Christen’s pregnant belly before humming sweet nothings into her skin. 

Christen smiles down at her wife, feelings extremely blessed with just how involved Tobin is in her pregnancy. She never expected anything other than this, but she knows that others aren’t as lucky as she is. 

Tobin already talks to Christen’s belly every chance she gets and despite her knowing that the baby won’t be able to hear her for another few weeks. She wants them to recognize her voice and be familiar with it by the time Christen gives birth. 

Eventually she lies back down again, pulling the covers up with her and nuzzling back into Christen. She moves her hand, placing it on Christen’s belly. 

“I think our little one likes your touch.” Christen mumbles with a smile when she feels another little kick. 

She knows that in a few weeks time the baby’s movements will start keeping her awake at night, or even become painful, but right now she finds all of the comfort in knowing that this is going to be her little family. It helps ease her mind as she drifts back to sleep. 

\-------

Four days later it’s already winter break and before they know it, Christen and Tobin are back with Dr Casey Stoney for their next appointment. 

This also means that it is now three days until they fly out to New Jersey for Christmas, meaning the wait to tell their family is almost over. 

Turns out it worked for them just like they’d planned, with Christen’s belly definitely growing but being nowhere near obvious now. It’s just a tiny bump for now, but Tobin can see the change, so she loves to drag Christen to the mirror and point it out to her wife every morning and every night. 

“So, what have you decided?” Dr Stoney asks the couple. “Do you want me to tell you now? Should I write it in an envelope? Do you even want to know?” 

“We want to know.” Tobin says right away, her leg bouncing with anticipation. 

Christen turns her head to look at her wife, seeing the excitement written across her face. 

Tobin has already experienced this moment with Tyler. It’s different this time and they both know it, because it’s her own child and not her nephew, but still, she knows what to expect.

Christen, on the other hand, doesn’t have a clue. All she knows is that she’s extremely excited to find out, but also nervous for a reason she can’t quite figure out. 

She thinks about messing with Tobin for a minute, by speaking up and suggesting that _maybe_ they shouldn’t find out, but she doesn’t have that in her. She can’t crush the happiness written all over Tobin right now.

At least she thought it was written all over Tobin. Turns out, her beaming smile was about to grow ten times wider. 

Dr Stoney turns to them both with a grin on her face, which isn’t helping Tobin’s impatience, considering she clearly knows something they don’t. 

“Congratulations! It looks like you’ll be welcoming your daughter in May.” She _finally_ announces. “From what I can see, Christen, you’re carrying a perfectly healthy little girl.”

Tobin pretty much shoots out of her chair, almost doing a little jump that Dr Stoney and Christen both start laughing about right away. 

Christen leans up a little, pulling Tobin and wrapping her up in a hug. 

“Babe, we’re having a girl.” Tobin mentions, feeling so emotional. “We’re having a girl and I get to raise her with you and she’s going to be so loved.”

“I’m so happy.” She mentions, feeling her heart beating _so_ incredibly fast. 

Christen just feels too overwhelmed to say anything. Her facial expression and emotions speak for themselves, but the words just aren’t coming to her. 

So she pulls Tobin into a quick, but soft, kiss. 

“This is one of the best moments in my life!” Christen manages to whisper into Tobin’s ear. 

“We’re really having a girl?” Christen turns to Dr Stoney, wanting her to confirm it once again. 

“You sure are, Christen.” Dr Stoney gives them a soft smile, knowing that this is a moment they’re going to treasure forever. 

Christen starts rambling on about ideas for their baby’s room and mentioning the fact that they need to buy some furniture and paint. Tobin sees the excitement in her eyes and knows that they’re both going to start making more plans the minute they get home. 

She quickly pulls her phone out whilst Dr Stoney is busy discussing something with Christen, opening one of the group chats on her phone. 

**Press Pack**

**Tobin Heath :** We decided there aren’t enough girls in the family, so it looks like you guys are about to have your first niece and great granddaughter. 

**Francella Press :** You’re having a girl?

**Tyler Sutherland :** YEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!

**Mikel Spight :** I dibs being the coolest uncle! 

**Will Sutherland :** I’d fight you for that one, but I think Jeffrey might have something to say about this too.

**Mikel Spight :** Jeffrey doesn’t even know that Christen is pregnant yet, so I’m already five steps ahead. 

**Mikel Spight :** Just wait and see...I’ll even learn how to braid hair and paint nails. 

**Will Sutherland :** Good luck, buddy. You’re gonna need it. 

**Will Sutherland :** p.s. I bet she can’t wait to meet her favorite uncle aka uncle Will

**Channing Spight :** You’ll still be arguing over this by the time she’s forty. 

**Channing Spight :** Congrats you two!! I’m beyond excited to meet her ❤️

**Tyler Sutherland :** I wish I could be there to see Cindy and Jeff’s reactions when they find out. They’re going to be so happy!!

**Francella Press :** I have no clue how you two haven’t accidentally told them yet. 

**Tobin Heath :** It’s sooooo hard to keep this a secret!

**Christen Heath :** I’m scared that I’ll just blurt it out the minute I see Cindy. 

**Christen Heath :** But luckily it’s only three more days until we see them again, so the countdown is on! 

**Francella Press :** I’m just ready to talk all things baby related with Cindy so I need you to tell her asap.

**Christen Heath :** Since when do you say asap? 

**Francella Press :** Charlie is teaching me all the internet slang. 

**Tyler Sutherland :** Of course he is 😂

\-------

After their doctor’s appointment they head home before getting ready for their early dinner with Kelley and Emily. They eat at one of the restaurants downtown, before going to sit on the beach together. 

Christen grabs the towel out of their bag, which also has a small gift bag inside of it. 

They make small conversation, deciding to wait for the sun to set within the next hour. 

“Hey, Kel!” Tobin speaks up when she remembers something. “Before we forget, we have something for you.” 

Kelley gives her a questioning look as Christen gets the gift bag out and passes it to the woman. Emily also gives them a curious look, waiting for Kelley to open it. 

She spots the card first, pulling out the envelope and then opening the card. 

Kelley catches something as it falls out when she goes to read the card, realizing it’s a sonogram. She picks it up before letting her eyes trace the words and start reading the card. 

Christen, Tobin and Emily all watch as her eyes go wide, then start tearing up, before the tears are dropping out of them. 

“I can’t read it, my eyes are all blurry!” She chokes out with a chuckle, wiping her tears and trying to blink the remaining ones away before continuing to read the words on the card. 

“This is a joke, right?” Kelley lowers the card, turning to look at both of them. “This has got to be a joke, right?”

“No.” Tobin laughs, trying to show her that they’re being serious but still not being able to convince Kelley. 

“I think you’re just trying to get back at me for all of the times I’ve annoyed or teased you.” She squints her eyes at them. 

“I promise we’re not!” Christen tries this time, “You know I’d never lie to you.” 

She looks at both of them again, before looking over at Emily. When she still isn’t sure if she should believe them or not, she pulls out the cup inside the gift bag. 

Looking at it, she spots that the design of it also has some text on it. She wipes her eyes before reading that it says _godmother_ on it. 

It seems to hit her at this moment that Tobin and Christen aren’t trying to mess with her. Maybe she knew that from the start and was just trying to make sure she isn’t getting her hopes up and too excited, just to find out that it isn’t true. 

She hides her face in her hands after taking another look at the cup and then the sonogram. 

Christen pulls her in tightly, leaving a kiss on her head and whispering in her ear. “I love you so much, Kel.” 

“I love you too.” She mumbles into Christen's sweatshirt after a long moment. 

Emily picks the cup up, reading what it says and then looking at the card. 

She might not be as close to them as Kelley is, but they’re still good friends. Tobin, Christen and their whole group of friends had welcomed Emily with open arms when she moved to California just under two years ago now, but Kelley is family to Tobin and Christen. 

Technically all of their friends have turned into family over the years, but their relationship with Kelley is something that no one could ever measure up to. 

Besides, Emily is friends with them, but she mainly hangs out with her own friends from work and tends to only see the group every now and then or when Tobin and Christen are over at their house to see Kelley. 

She leans back, reaching to squeeze Tobin’s shoulder. “Congrats!” 

“Thank you.” Tobin smiles with the biggest grin Emily has ever seen on her. 

Christen keeps holding Kelley until she pulls back, taking Christen’s face into her hands. “You’re really pregnant?”

“Yeah!” Christen nods with a grin just as wide as Tobin’s. 

It’s less than a second before Kelley pulls Christen back into another hug. Tobin just rubs Christen’s back with a chuckle. 

“Tobin, get over here!” Kelley opens her arms out for the older woman, “I need a big hug.” 

She kneels up, shuffling on her knees until she reaches Tobin. 

“I’m so happy for you.” She exclaims as she squeezes her shoulders. 

Once she’s sitting down again she wipes her tears. “Sorry!” Kelley apologizes for crying, even though she knows Christen has seen her cry more than her own parents have since she’s one of the only people she’ll always let herself be emotional around, Emily has been comforting her for years whenever she’s upset and Tobin is just the amazing person she is.

“It’s just after everything that’s been thrown at you two, when you still went on to fight for each other and stayed together and got married. After everything you’ve been through, you guys deserve this so much. You deserve every piece of happiness in your life and I’d give you two all the happiness in the world, if I could.” She wipes her eyes again. “You’re going to make the best parents ever. This little one is so incredibly lucky to be your daughter and I can’t wait to meet my goddaughter.” 

They end up staying way past the sunset, with Emily and Kelley asking them a million and one questions before making many, many plans of how they can help Christen and Tobin during Christen’s pregnancy and after giving birth. 

\-------

The next few days involve more than enough present wrapping for their family; dropping off presents at Fran, Tyler and Channing’s houses; packing their suitcases and then hopping on a flight to New Jersey. 

Tobin is _so_ excited to see their family again. 

Her leg is bouncing the whole way there, to the point where Christen lays a hand on her thigh and asks her to please keep it still. 

She just can’t help it. She can’t help the excitement of knowing that she can finally tell her family that she is going to be a mother. 

Just the thought of it makes her burst with excitement, happiness and pride. 

This is something she’s always seen in the future, but now it’s here, right in front of her, and she feels so ready for it. She has rehearsed this in her head so many times over the past few weeks, trying to think of different scenarios of how they might react, but at the same time, she’s never felt less prepared. 

Tobin knows just how happy her mom is going to be to find out she’s having another granddaughter. She adores her grandsons so much, including Isaac and Lucas, but she loves getting to look after Ellie and introducing her to the more girly thing she liked as a child. 

Since Tobin was never into the stereotypical girly things when she was growing up - and still isn’t - Cindy makes up for all of that by doing plenty of it with Christen now. Christen even bought her a voucher for a spa day together for Cindy’s birthday last year and Tobin thought her mom was going to cry of happiness when they left at midday, giving Tobin and Jeff some quality time together. 

It’s not that Tobin wouldn’t go to a spa - she would and she does, especially when her and Christen are on holiday and their hotel has a spa - but there’s a limit as to how much she’s willing to sign up for and how much time she wants to spend there. 

Christen, on the other hand, can stay at a spa for hours and will happily have her nails done with Cindy, get a massage, have a glass of prosecco by the pool and anything else Cindy wants to do. 

Of course Cindy never minded Tobin not being into dolls, the same toys as her sisters, girly dresses and all of those things. She just wanted Tobin to grow up being happy and have fun in life. 

That reason is also on the list of why Tobin loves Christen as much as she does. Christen lets her be whoever she wants to be. She supports Tobin no matter what and that makes Tobin feel so loved and free. 

Christen even made sure Tobin knew that she didn’t have to wear a dress for their wedding and could pick whatever her heart desires, but Tobin ended up going with a dress anyway. It felt nice knowing that Christen just wants her to be comfortable and confident though. 

Letting her mind go back to her original thoughts, Tobin just knows that Cindy is going to jump for joy when she finds out that she’s having a second granddaughter. 

She looks over at Christen, who’s sitting next to her in their uber, and a small smile makes its way onto her face. 

Christen is looking out of the window, watching as they pass the houses and cars on the side of the road, and get closer and closer to arriving at Perry’s house. 

She squeezes the hand resting her own, making Christen turn her head towards Tobin. 

“Are you good?” Tobin whispers, tucking a strand of Christen’s hair behind her ear. 

“Yeah.” Christen nods before biting her lip. “I’m a little nervous about telling them but mostly I’m just excited.” 

“Why are you nervous?” Tobin wonders, turning towards Christen so she knows that she has Tobin’s full attention. 

“Maybe nervous isn’t the right word.” Christen realizes how her sentence sounds, knowing that she isn’t exactly nervous to tell her own family that she’s pregnant, but there’s something that’ll be there until she’s seen their reactions. “I just hope they’ll think I’m ready to be a parent.” 

“Babe.” Tobin presses a gentle kiss to Christen’s lips. “They don’t call you the responsible one for no reason when we’re watching Ellie or the boys. I know they’re only joking when they say that they wouldn’t trust me by myself, because I know they’d leave them alone with me too, but I think we both know that they’re being serious when they say you’re the more reliable and trustworthy out of us.” 

Christen chuckles now too. “They know you can look after them and they definitely trust you with them, Tobs.” 

“I know, I’m just saying.” Tobin nods. “No one can be fully _ready_ to be a parent. But it’s you and me, and we can do anything when we’re together. We’ve got this and everything will work out how it’s supposed to.”

Christen looks into Tobin’s eyes, searching for any sign of uncertainty or hesitation. She doesn’t find any though, and that reassures her even more, so she nods slowly. 

“We’re going to have the most adorable and beautiful little daughter in a few short months and we’re going to love her, take care of her and give her the best life we can. We can figure everything else out along the way.” Tobin rubs her thumb on the back of Christen’s hand. “Every kid and every moment is different, so no one ever really knows what they’re doing. Take it day-by-day, just how we’ve always taken our marriage. Don’t stress about something that might or might not happen in fifteen years' time.”

“Right now, the only thing you need to focus on is Christmas, your birthday, New Year’s and spending time with family. Everything else can wait.” Tobin searches Christen’s eyes for a short moment. “And then once we get home, we can start thinking about everything we need for the nursery.” 

Christen’s eyes light up at those words and she looks at Tobin with a giant smile. 

She doesn’t get to say anything else as they arrive at that moment. Christen pays their uber driver as Tobin grabs their luggage. 

Tobin kisses Christen’s forehead as they sort out their bags, getting ready to walk to the front door. 

Christen opens the front door to Perry’s house, hearing Ellie and Kayden’s laughter right away. It instantly warms her heart, she’s been missing them so much. 

“Auntie Chris!” She hears a familiar voice yell from the other end of the hallway, before running over to her. 

Christen crouches down a little, catching Cole and pulling him into a tight hug. 

He’s so much taller now and way too big for her to pick him up, but that doesn’t mean she’ll ever stop giving him tight hugs. 

He holds her close for a moment, before looking over her shoulder and spotting Tobin. 

“Auntie Tobin!” Cole starts jumping up and down, so Christen releases her hold on him and watches as he crashes into Tobin. 

Just as she’s standing up again, Cole runs past her and through to the living room. “Guys, auntie Chris and auntie Tobin are here!” 

Tobin and Christen turn to look at each other, leaving their bags in the hallway and walking into the room so they can greet everyone first. 

“Hey, El!” Christen greets when Ellie runs into her before she even makes it into the room. 

“Auntie Chrissy! I missed you.” Ellie looks up at her, those hazel eyes sparkling with the big grin she’s got on her face. 

As she moves on to hug Tobin and Christen can finally step into the room, she spots Jeff. 

“You made it!” He announces with a smile, cheering loudly. 

Christen can’t help but laugh, walking up to him right away and pulling him into a tight hug. All of those nerves from earlier fade when she feels his arms around her, instantly being reminded that they have family all around them to give them advice. 

The fact that she gets to not only see, but also feel, the love that all of the Heaths receive from Cindy and Jeff just reassures her that her daughter is going to have the best grandparents. 

She already knew that though, seeing how much they leave their grandchildren and their grandchildren love them. 

“You’re glowing.” Cindy announces as she opens her arms out. 

“I missed you guys.” Christen mumbles into her shoulder and she really did. She missed them so much. She loves being around her family and they’re all so comfortable with each other that it fills her heart with love. 

“I missed you too, Chris.” Cindy squeezes her a little tighter before letting go again. “We need lots of catch up time.” 

“And we have to paint our nails for Christmas.” She reminds Cindy, nudging her shoulder lightly. 

They started doing this three Christmases ago and it’s something that’s stuck with them ever since. Every year Christen and Cindy well paint each other’s nails in what usually ends up being Christmas-themed colors, just to spend some time together and talk with no one else around. 

Whilst Christen looks forward to this every year now, she has no idea just how much it means to Cindy. 

All of the family love to joke about Christen and Tobin being Cindy and Jeff’s favorites and that they like spending time with them more than any of their other children, but they know that statement doesn’t hold much truth. 

It’s simply that Tobin and Christen spend a lot more time with them in comparison to the rest of their family. They call them more often, text them more often, share more with them and aside from this Thanksgiving, they’ve spent every holiday with them since the start of their relationship. 

They don’t have Christen’s parents to go to and spend the holidays with, so unlike everyone else who balances their relationship with both families, they just have Cindy and Jeff. The only other immediate family they have are Christen’s sisters and Fran, but they live so close to each other that they tend to see one another multiple times throughout the month anyway. 

After making their way around everyone, Tobin and Christen carry their suitcases and bags to their room upstairs. They get the presents out of one of the bags, having only taken some of the smaller ones with them, after shipping most of the presents to Perry’s house last month. 

They find those stacked up in the corner of the room, both of them laughing when they realize just how much they bought. 

Jeffrey, who’d helped them carry their bags up the stairs, offers to also help them carry their presents down the stairs. 

Eventually, all the presents are downstairs and they join everyone else in the living room. 

“Do you want any drinks? A glass of prosecco?” Katie asks right away, standing with the bottle open, trying to let them switch on their Christmas mode and just relax, knowing they have nowhere to be. 

“I’m okay, thank you.” Tobin answers first, trying to be subtle. “I’m not really in the mood for any drinks right now.” 

She hasn’t drank much since they found out that Christen is pregnant. In fact, she hasn’t had any alcohol apart from a couple of beers when she went to hangout with Mikel one night. 

The only times Tobin ever really drinks is when she has one or two glasses of wine at night with Christen, or when she has a couple of beers with friends or family. Now that Christen’s can’t drink, Tobin’s not particularly fussed about having alcohol and will just have a glass of soda instead. 

“Suit yourself.” Katie shrugs, looking at Christen and waiting for an answer. 

“I’m fine too.” She answers with a polite smile. “I’ll go grab myself a glass of soda from the kitchen though, if that’s okay?” 

“Of course.” Perry nods right away. “You know the rules - make yourself at home and help yourself to whatever you want.” 

Tobin has to stifle a laugh, knowing that Christen would happily stand in Perry’s kitchen in the middle of the night and search for a snack if she were to help herself. 

Christen sits down next to Sarah when she returns, both of them diving into conversation right away as they all catch up with each other. 

It’s not long until the two of them find themselves playing on the floor with Jake. 

They all go on to play some board games and card games together, before eventually having dinner and then bringing the kids to bed. 

Christen and Tobin ended up being the ones to tuck them into bed, after all three had begged them to do it, even if it didn’t take much convincing. 

Katie got Jake ready for bed, having him sleep in her and James’ room, whilst Ellie is able to sleep on a mattress in Kayden’s room. The two of them were more than excited when they found out that they can have a sleepover for two whole weeks. 

Growing up with only being a few months apart has made them as close as ever and whilst they have their arguments, not getting to see each other much throughout the year helps them get along better when they do see each other. 

They’re all standing together in the kitchen, originally grabbing a refill of drinks and deciding to leave the dishes until later, but ending up in a conversation instead. Christen squeezes Tobin’s hip, trying to get her attention. 

“Should we tell them now, baby?” Christen whispers in Tobin’s ear, unsure of how much longer she can keep the secret. She also doesn’t want her oversized hoodie to give her away when she moves at any point. 

It most likely won’t, considering how little she’s showing, but they’re her family and they’re quick to notice the small things with no shame to point them out. Obviously they’d never comment on anyones weight, but she doesn’t want to risk any of them forming the correct conclusion if they do see. 

Tobin nods, chuckling at her own impatience. “Yeah! I’m not sure how much longer I can keep my mouth shut.” 

“I’ll grab the bag from upstairs.” Christen informs her, about to leave the room. 

“I’ll do it, babe. You stay here.” Tobin quickly argues, kissing her on the cheek and leaving the room before Christen gets the chance to say any more. 

She grabs the small gift bag out of Christen’s suitcase, quietly jogging down the stairs again and walking back into the kitchen where everyone else is still gathered. 

“Mom! Chris and I have a little something for you!” Tobin announces with a beaming smile. 

“A gift?” Cindy chuckles, tilting her head. “What did I do to deserve this?”

“Well, it’s for both you and Jeff.” Christen clarifies, trying not to show her excitement and give anything away. She bites her cheeks, keeping a casual facial expression.

“For both of us?” Jeff joins the conversation, walking over to his wife as Tobin passes her the gift bag. 

“Oh, I’m excited!” Cindy claps her hands together, taking the bag out of Tobin’s hand. “When did you get us this?” 

“You’ll have to open it and see!” Christen chuckles at Cindy’s excitement, just wanting to see her reaction when she finds out what’s inside. 

“Why are we getting a gift now when Christmas is next week?” Jeff wonders out loud and Tobin wants to groan with annoyance, growing extremely impatient. 

“You’ll see.” Tobin repeats what Christen said, looking around the room to see confused faces, waiting for Cindy and Jeff to open their present. 

“Don’t ask, just open it.” Tobin stops them when she sees Cindy about to ask another question, trying not to start fiddling with the strings of her hoodie. 

Cindy unties the bow at the top, getting rid of the tissue paper and pulling out a wrapped present from inside the gift bag. She takes the wrapping paper off, revealing a white picture frame. Carefully, they both analyse the picture, recognising right away that it’s a sonogram. 

Cindy squints her eyes for a short moment, then flicking them up to Christen and Tobin before letting them divert back down. 

She knows what she’s looking at, but her mind isn’t catching up with what she’s seeing quite yet. As she looks back down again, she debates on asking Jeff to pinch her, just so she can see if she’s dreaming or not. 

Jeff lifts his finger after his eyes scan the image again, pointing to the name in the corner of the sonogram. 

**_Christen Heath_ **

Her eyes trail along the writing at the bottom of the frame. 

**_Baby Girl due May 10th_ **

Cindy’s eyes widen at the same time as Jeff’s, both of them looking up and glaring at Christen and then Tobin whilst the rest of the family is looking at them in confusion. 

Christen bites her lip, waiting for either of them to react. Tobin just starts laughing as they’re trying to piece everything together.

All of the sudden, it seems to fully click for them. They obviously knew what they were looking at, but it was the realization that this was going to be Christen and Tobin's child.

“No!” Cindy suddenly lets out, her hand coming up to cover her mouth.

“Shut up!” Jeff says as his jaw drops, looking between both of them. 

“For real?” Cindy double checks, still looking between both of them. 

Tobin and Christen both nod, “Yeah, for real!”

“You’re not joking?” She asks again with wide eyes. 

Tobin laughs at her mother, “No, we’re not.”

“Really?” She questions again in slight disbelief.

“Yes, really, Mom!” Tobin laughs as Christen joins in. 

“Oh my gosh!” Cindy squeals. A tear makes its way down her cheek within a split second, as she passes the picture frame to Jeff and frantically makes her way around the kitchen island. She opens her arms and pulls them both into a group hug, closing her eyes and trying not to let her whole excitement out. 

“What?” Perry laughs with confusion, making Jeff pass her the picture frame as he also moves to hug them both. He pulls Tobin into a tight hug when Cindy releases both of them, letting Cindy move over to hug Christen. 

Christen holds Cindy in a tight hug as she lets her emotions show, and in that moment, Christen can’t help but tear up too.

“I’m so happy for you, sweetheart.” Cindy breathes out as she wipes her own tears. 

“Thank you.” Christen beams, tightening her hold around Cindy’s shoulders. 

“How many weeks along are you?” She wonders as she pulls out of the hug, wiping her tears once again. 

“Eighteen...nearly nineteen weeks.” Christen proudly informs her. 

Cindy’s jaw drops and she gasps, as she looks between both of them. “I can’t believe you guys waited this long to tell me!” 

Christen shrugs with a laugh, “We wanted to tell you in person and I’m not showing all that much, so it was easy to cover up so you wouldn’t know right away. I don’t think you’d be able to tell that I’m pregnant unless I just wear a t-shirt.” 

Katie makes her way past Cindy, eagerly pulling Christen into a hug and congratulating her. Cindy just makes her way around them, lightly pushing Perry out of the way and finding her youngest daughter. 

The room fills with congratulations and hugs, until they’ve all made their way around. 

\--------

“I can’t believe I’m going to be a grandmother again!” Cindy sighs happily whilst her and Tobin put the dishes away. 

A couple of hours had passed now and Tobin and Cindy volunteered to put the dishes away when they heard that the dishwasher was finished. Everyone else was still sitting in the living room, busy chatting about all things pregnancy and newborn related.

Tobin turns to look at her. “She’s going to be the luckiest little girl to have you as her grandma.” 

“You have no idea how happy I am for you and Christen.” Cindy steps forward to pull her daughter into a tight hug. 

“Thank you.” Tobin gives her a beaming smile. “I’m so happy too, mom!” 

“I know, I can tell.” Cindy nods right away, just looking at Tobin’s smile. 

“I can’t wait to meet her!” She announces with excitement, thinking about getting to hold her newborn granddaughter in a few months time. “I need daily updates of how you guys are doing until she’s born and then double that once she’s born, okay?” 

Tobin laughs at the serious look on her mother’s face. “First we’re here for the next two weeks, unless you’re already sick of us and want to ship us back to California.” 

“No chance!” Cindy states right away, putting another plate away. “I just can’t believe my little girl is going to be a mom.” 

Tobin instantly rolls her eyes when she hears the nickname. “Does that mean you’ll stop calling me your little girl?”

“In your dreams.” She puts the last dishes away, closing the dishwasher again and leaning against the kitchen counter. “This is so exciting!” 

Christen walks into the room at that moment, making both of them turn their heads. 

“Hey, babe.” Tobin greets her, giving her a soft smile from across the room. 

“Your little baby bump is adorable.” Cindy gushes, seeing that Christen no longer has her hoodie on, making her belly stand out more from the t-shirt she’s wearing. “I wonder if that means she’s going to be small when she’s born.” 

“Our gynaecologist explained it to us and it’s pretty normal.” Tobin shrugs, not being able to recall the full conversation from how tired she feels after a long day of travelling and spending time with family. “Chris will probably start showing more towards the end of her pregnancy.” 

“If you don’t wouldn’t know that I’m pregnant, you’d probably just guess that I’m bloated or gained a bit of weight.” Christen points out, looking down at her belly with a smile. “Even then, unless I wear a shirt or yoga pants, you probably wouldn’t notice it right away.” 

“No, you wouldn’t.” Cindy shakes her head, agreeing with Christen. 

“I can tell the difference.” Tobin shrugs casually, making both Cindy and Christen laugh at her thoughts. 

“I’m sure you see Christen in a lot less clothing than the rest of us do, so it’ll be a lot easier for you to notice any changes.” Cindy points out at the same time as Christen agrees with her. “Yeah, you literally see me without clothes every day and have for the past few years, so obviously you’re going to know.” 

“You have a point!” Tobin agrees with both of their points with a chuckle. 

Christen chips back in again before Tobin has the chance to say anything else. “My mom was the same though. She showed _a lot_ when she was pregnant with Tyler, but when she had Channing and me, you could barely tell that she was pregnant.”

“I was definitely the opposite of that.” Cindy starts laughing, knowing that she’ll have to show Christen the photographs next time they find themselves at her house in Florida. “I looked like a balloon that was about to pop.” 

They all laugh at the idea of it before Cindy grabs a cloth, wiping down the kitchen counter, so they’re finally done in the kitchen. 

“Are you okay?” Tobin wonders, stepping a little closer to Christen and running a hand down her back. 

“Yeah.” Christen gives her a small nod. “How are you, baby?” 

“I’m just so happy to be here.” She speaks quietly, earning a _me too_ from Christen. 

“Everyone else just went to bed, so I thought I’d check where you two went.” Christen explains, debating on her next sentence before asking the question anyway. “Should we go to the living room and stay up a little longer?” 

Christen can see how excited Cindy is and that she's happy to finally have the couple to herself for some uninterrupted conversation, but she knows Tobin is likely skeptical to suggest it in case Christen is exhausted and just wants to go to bed. 

She gives Tobin and Christen an eager nod right away, so they move to sit down on the sofa.

Cindy has the chance to talk to them about everything she’d wanted to ask earlier, but didn’t want to discuss in front of everyone. 

She wanted to talk to them privately, so they have her full attention. 

Tobin slides her hand under Christen’s shirt, resting it on her belly whilst listening to Christen and her mom. The baby moves as soon as Tobin’s hand makes contact with Christen’s smooth skin, something that they’ve found happens almost every time. 

Christen already knows that the baby is going to find as much comfort in Tobin’s touch and voice as she does. 

She turns to face Tobin with a smile as soon as she feels the movement. 

Christen reaches out for Cindy’s wrist, moving her hand right next to Tobin’s, knowing that she’ll likely let out another kick. 

Cindy’s face lights up as soon as she feels the baby move, looking as if this is one of the best things she’s experienced in her life. 

“She always kicks for Tobin.” Christen tells the woman with a smile. “She hasn’t massively started moving around yet, which I’m very thankful for when I try to sleep, but everytime Tobin puts her hand on my belly, she lets out a little kick.” 

Cindy keeps her hand there for another moment, slowly pulling it back as she looks at Tobin with a soft smile, watching her daughter admire her wife for a moment before resting her head down on Christen’s shoulder. 

Tobin’s hand stays where it was, making soft circles with her fingers on Christen’s belly. 

“Baby’s are smart.” Cindy speaks back up again a second later, “She’s probably getting used to Tobin and starting to recognize her. That’ll help you both a lot later on, as it’ll make it easier for her and Tobin to bond once she’s born.” 

The room fills with comfortable silence for a moment, before Christen bites her lip. “I still can’t believe this is happening.” 

“I’m so nervous and excited at the same time.” Tobin nods, knowing she can be honest in front of her mother and that she’ll probably get some good words of advice too. 

“Don’t be nervous.” Cindy shakes her head right away. “You’ll both be amazing parents.” 

“I just want you both to remember that you have to do what works for you and your family. That was the best advice my mom ever gave me when I was pregnant.” She continues, looking over at the couple. “Anyone can give you parenting advice, including me, and whilst I know more about your life together than a stranger does, I still don’t live it and don’t know it well enough to give you that advice. That’s something you have to figure out as you go along.”

“Every child is different and every parents’ life is different. Whatever your next step is - at any point throughout your lives or your baby's life - do what works best for you and what feels right for your family!” Cindy watches as they both nod, taking in every word she’s saying. “And remember to enjoy your pregnancy whilst it lasts. I know you’ll be so eager for her to be here, but it’s only a short nine months and then you’ll have years ahead.” 

It’s not long until they all head to bed too, tired from a long day. 

Tobin pulls Christen as close as possible that night, falling asleep with a smile on her face and recalling every minute of the day all over again in her mind. 

\-------

Christen wakes up to the sound of the guest bedroom door opening. 

She’s too tired to move though, instantly knowing who it is when she remembers the date. 

From where she has her back facing to the door, she feels small hands on the duvet before three bodies make their way across the bed. 

Christen opens her eyes, seeing that Tobin is still sound asleep in Christen’s arms, with her head nuzzled all the way into Christen’s neck. 

She moves her head slightly, seeing a hesitant face, clearly unsure if it was safe to move closer. 

Normally, her wake up call on Christmas morning would consist of little legs jumping up and down on her bed, but she assumes that Katie had told them to be careful and wake them up quietly this year.

Christen’s eyes lock with young hazel ones and she lifts her arm, inviting Kayden into a hug. 

He crawls over to her, lying down in Christen’s free arm. 

“Why don’t you wake auntie Toby up?” Christen whispers to Ellie and Cole, who nod now that they have the consent from Christen. 

“Toby!” Ellie whispers, gently shaking the woman’s body. “Toby, wake up!” 

Tobin grumbles, making a noise of refusal, before rolling onto her stomach, so her face is pressed into Christen’s chest. 

Ellie, Cole and Kayden all start giggling, as Ellie crawls closer on the bed and lies down on top of her. 

“Hey!” Tobin mumbles into Christen’s skin, feeling a light body lie down on her back. 

She reaches her arm around to Ellie, making sure she won’t fall off the bed, before turning around and dropping her onto the mattress. 

Cole shuffles closer, lying down next to them and making sure not to lie on Christen’s belly. 

“Auntie Chris?” Kayden looks up at her with big eyes, moving his head from where it’s lying on Christen’s arm, so he can see her better. 

“Mhm.” Christen hums, waiting for Kayden to tell her his thoughts. 

“What did you ask Santa for?” He gives her a serious look, as if he’s been trying to think of what Christen may want for Christmas. 

“Once you’re super old, like me and Toby, Santa doesn’t bring you presents anymore.” Christen explains, not knowing how else she could answer. 

“That’s not very nice of him.” Kayden frowns, almost looking upset over the fact that Christen and Tobin won’t be getting anything from their wishlist this year. 

“But we all give presents to each other, so you still get something when you’re older.” Christen tries to cheer him back up again. “You just don’t get the presents from Santa anymore.” 

“I bought you a present!” Kayden suddenly remembers, looking at Christen with excited eyes. “And I bought Toby one too!” 

“You did?” Tobin asks, lifting her head from Christen’s shoulder and trying to wake up a little more. 

Kayden nods with a grin on his face. “Me and Cole chose them.” 

“I can’t wait to see them! I bet we’ll love them!” Tobin lets Kayden’s excitement take over, just watching him. 

“I wonder if Santa came to bring you three some presents!” Tobin questions out loud, not having a chance to finish her sentence before Ellie’s head is shooting up from where she’s lying. 

“He did!” She squeals, making Christen chuckle. 

“Did he?” Christen goes to confirm. “Are you sure you’re not on the naughty list this year?” 

Ellie crosses her arms with a cheeky grin. 

Kayden interrupts their teasing before Ellie is able to say anything else. “Can we go and open our presents now? I want to see if Santa got me a new bike!” 

“Is everyone else awake?” Christen wonders, knowing that they love to wake her and Tobin up, but they don’t tend to be the last ones to wake up. 

“Grandad is still asleep!” Ellie comments, recalling her mom telling her that everyone apart from her two aunts and grandad are awake and already downstairs. 

“Why don’t you go and wake him up?” Tobin suggests, knowing that her dad won’t mind being woken up by them, especially on Christmas morning. 

Kayden nods, climbing off the bed. “He always snores _super_ loud!” 

Tobin and Christen laugh as Ellie and Kayden storm out of the room, quickly making their way over to the room Cindy and Jeff are staying in. 

“Come on, bud.” Tobin encourages Cole, standing up from the bed. “Let’s see what Santa brought for you.” 

“Santa isn’t real!” Cole tells her as if it should be obvious. “But Ellie and Kayden don’t know that, so I gotta keep it a secret, because I don’t want them to find out.” 

Tobin and Christen give each other a look, wanting to cry at how old Cole is getting and how quickly he’s growing up. 

“I bet that there will still be lots of awesome presents for you though.” Tobin offers and Cole gives her an eager and excited nod. 

Christen and Tobin head over to the bathroom, quickly brushing their teeth and changing into a pair of sweatpants and hoodie. 

Tobin crouches down a little once they’re ready, waiting for Cole to jump on her back so she can give him a piggyback down the stairs, having heard her dad enter the bathroom a couple of minutes ago. 

“Good morning, by the way!” Tobin announces once she’s ready to go downstairs, leaning in to give Christen a quick peck on the lips. 

“Ew!” Cole announces as he pulls a face, causing Christen and Tobin to start laughing.

“Mommy and daddy kiss _all of the time.”_ He groans, rolling his eyes as Christen and Tobin just shake their heads with a giggle. 

They go downstairs, greeting everyone else and making themselves a hot chocolate as everyone else settles into the living room. 

Christen comes up to Tobin whilst she waits for hers to finish heating up. 

“Merry Christmas, baby.” Christen announces, leaving a soft kiss on Tobin’s lips. 

“It’s our last Christmas as a family of two.” Tobin can’t help the massive smile that spreads across her face. “This time next year there’ll be three of us!” 

Christen kisses Tobin again, feeling her wife’s hands on her belly, gently rubbing the baby bump with her thumb. 

They move into the living room, sitting down on the sofa and watching Ellie and their nephews open their presents with excitement. 

Eventually, they move on to the last few presents under the tree. 

When Katie goes to shower and get dressed afterwards, Christen volunteers to take Jake, wanting to spend some more time with him since this is only her second time meeting the boy. 

She grabs one of his presents, deciding that she’ll take him to play with one of his new toys. 

Jeff comes and joins them after a short while, sitting down on the floor opposite Christen. 

Jake crawls over to Jeff right away, who greets him with a big smile and takes his grandson into his arms. 

It’s not long before he crawls back to Christen. 

“I heard Katie mentioning earlier that Jake is starting to walk!” Jeff mentions, recalling Katie talking to his wife about it in a conversation this morning. 

“Is he?” Christen asks with raised eyebrows, looking over at the young boy. 

Christen stands him up, holding both of his hands and guiding him slowly as he takes a few steps. She doesn’t dare let go, knowing that he’ll fall right away. 

“Can you walk over to grandad, Jakey?” Christen wonders, guiding him in that direction and helping him until he ends up in front of Jeff. 

“He’s so cute!” Christen gushes, wrapping an arm around him as he sits in her lap. “I can’t believe it’s almost been a year since he was born.” 

“They grow up so fast!” Jeff mentions, with Christen agreeing right away. “They really do!” 

“Are you excited to be a mom?” Jeff asks her, already knowing the answer but never having much time to have an uninterrupted conversation with Christen. 

“I’m _so_ excited!” Christen beams, “But I’m nervous too.”

“I want to be a good mom to my child and I want to be a good wife to Tobin, so I’m just nervous that I can’t be who they need me to be.” Christen emphasises, before continuing. “Don’t get me wrong, I have all the confidence of the world in Tobin. She’s an incredible wife, she truly is. The best decision I’ve ever made is letting myself fall for Tobin and I couldn’t have married a better person.” 

“I just know she’s going to be the best mom too.” She continues spilling out her thoughts. “We’ve all seen her around Katie, Perry and Tyler’s kids, so if she’s going to be even half as loving and caring with mine and her daughter, then she’s already going to be the luckiest little girl alive.” 

“Chris, you and I both know that she’s going to love everything about your daughter. She’s already so proud about the fact that you’re pregnant and she can’t wait until you have a family of your own.” Jeff tells her, because all Tobin has been talking about for the past week, whenever Christen isn’t around, is how happy she is and how incredibly proud she is of her wife. “And you’re going to be exactly the person that your family needs - you already are - so don’t stress about that part.”

“I can’t wait either.” Christen bites her lip to stop her smile from taking over. “Tobin’s the most supportive person I know and she’s been by my side every step of the way so far.” 

“I should hope she has been, otherwise I’d be giving her a serious talking to!” Jeff gives her a stern look, although she knows that he’s more than aware he would never have to talk to Tobin about something like this. “I have to make sure that Jeffrey and Tobin are treating their women right.” 

They both chuckle at that. “You know she is!” Christen tells him, and he does know that. 

Christen holds Jake close to her, speaking one last thought out loud. “I just hope that I will make the right decisions for my family.” 

“You will!” Jeff tells her with so much certainty.

He moves closer, wrapping one arm around Christen and giving her shoulder a squeeze. 

Jeff’s hugs always remind Christen of her father’s hugs and she finds comfort in that, knowing that she has a father figure in her life. 

“Those decisions might not always be what others want, but I know you, so I know that you will _always_ make the right decisions for your family.” Jeff tells her, knowing the perfect example. “Was getting into a relationship with Tobin something that everyone else wanted? No, but you did it anyway and it was the right decision for you.” 

“You’re right.” Christen nods with a small sigh. “Being with Tobin and getting to share my life with her is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t know what my life would look like if I hadn’t made that decision, but I know I wouldn’t have been happy and not for a second have I ever regretted making this choice.” 

“Hey!” He nudges her after a small moment of silence. “You won’t make the same mistakes your parents made!” 

“Just because one of their poor decisions landed you where you are now, doesn’t mean that you’ll do something similar.” Jeff knows exactly what’s bothering Christen. “You would _never_ push your family away and you would _never_ want to hurt someone’s feelings. You’ve got this, Chris. You and Tobin both do and I know you know that too.”

It isn’t until that moment that Christen realizes how much she needed some fatherly advice every now and then to make her feel better. 

“Yeah, we do.” Christen nods with a smile, before squeezing his arm. “Thank you. I really needed to hear that.” 

“You don’t have to thank me, Chris. I’m here for both of you, no matter what.” He assures her, turning his head to look at her. “Besides, I’ve pretty much adopted you as my fourth daughter these days, so I’m here for all the talks and advice you used to get from your dad! I’ve got plenty of dad jokes up my sleeve too, you know.” 

“I’ll take a pass on those.” Christen jokes, earning a light shove from Jeff. 

“I’m kidding!” She laughs, I promise I’ll always laugh at your jokes and pretend they’re funny, even when they’re not, just to save you some embarrassment.” 

Tobin smiles to herself as she hears Christen and her dad laughing together in the living room. This is all she’s ever wanted and even though it’s already been almost five years since Christen met her parents, it still warms her heart every time to see how well they get along.

\-------

Christen smiles at Tobin as she’s lying in bed, looking at her bed hair and sleepy eyes. 

She moves Tobin’s chin slightly, tilting it so she can kiss her softly. 

Tobin returns the smile as they pull away, biting her lip as she watches Christen. 

Her eyes move up and she spots the scar on Christen’s forehead - the one she leaves a kiss on to relax her wife’s forehead, every time Christen furrows her eyebrows. 

She pulls her hand out from under the covers, slowly tracing the scar with her finger. 

“You know, if I- if-” Tobin stalls, taking a deep breath. “If I would have lost you that day, I don’t think I would have known how to breathe again.” 

“I wouldn’t be able to be away from you. I wouldn’t be able to live without you.” She frowns just thinking about it, trying to move away from that thought again. 

“You didn’t lose me though and you’re never going to!” Christen’s facial expression matches Tobin, recalling a day that wasn’t easy for either of them. 

“Will you promise me that you’ll always stay safe?” Tobin requests, needing a tiny bit of reassurance. 

“I promise that I will always do everything I can to not get hurt!” Christen nods, looking into Tobin’s hazel eyes. “But you have to promise to do the same!”

Tobin nods, repeating Christen’s words. 

She shuffles closer, hiding her face in Christen’s chest. “Please don’t ever make me have to live without you!” 

Christen runs her hand through Tobin’s hair. “I won’t! I’ll always be right here.” 

Tobin smiles as she feels her wife’s fingers trying not to get tangled in her hair. 

Their peaceful moment is interrupted when Christen hears Cindy whistling a song as she passes their room, suddenly realizing what activity she had planned for this morning. 

“It’s time to paint some fingernails!” Christen points out, rolling over her back and out of bed, even if it takes her a minute to stand up. 

And just like that their soft little moment is gone. 

“No! Come back!” Tobin groans, reaching her hand out after Christen. 

“No! Get up!” Christen copies Tobin’s voice, earning a squinted eyes and an unimpressed look from her wife. 

“Please?” Tobin pouts, trying this method instead. 

“Get up!” Christen chuckles, walking over to Tobin’s side of the bed and leaning down to kiss her. “I’ll cuddle you tonight, koala bear!” 

Tobin chuckles, pulling the covers over her head before deciding that she should actually get up. 

Whilst Christen and Cindy leave to do their nails after breakfast, Tobin finds other ways to entertain herself. 

“Do you know where Tobin is?” Christen wonders once they’re done, not being able to spot her wife anywhere. 

Katie immediately starts laughing, giving Christen an answer. “Jeffrey, James and Tobin are having a snowball fight outside.” 

Christen looks over to the kitchen table, where Kayden, Cole and Ellie are sitting, raising her eyebrows at Katie. “...And the kids are inside?” 

“Well, it seems like the _real_ kids are outside.” Katie points out, watching as Ellie, Cole and Kayden draw in a coloring book. 

“Let’s go see the other kids.” Katie suggests, sending Christen to grab herself a coat. 

Christen heads outside, being met with heavy flocks of white falling from the sky. She brushes the snow off the steps, sitting down as Katie comes outside with hot drinks in hand. 

She passes one to Christen, sitting down next to her. 

They dive into conversation, watching the trio act like they’re ten again and both being surprised that Cole isn’t outside with them right now. He seems to be tired today though, after his late night last night, so they don’t approach him about it. 

They don’t even notice when Tobin, Jeffrey and James stop and start approaching them instead. 

They don’t realize until both of them get hit by a snowball. 

“Wow, wow, wow!” Tobin shoots them both a disapproving look. “No throwing snowballs at my pregnant wife, thank you very much.” 

Katie smiles softly, having noticed Tobin’s protectiveness right from the start. 

Tobin reaches out for Christen’s hand, helping her stand up as she goes to brush the snow off her coat. 

“I’m sorry, Mrs Protective.” Jeffrey throws his hands up at the same time as James shrugs. “It won’t happen again!” 

Tobin almost looks unsure for a moment at the nickname. She knows that her younger brother is only joking, but is she being _too_ protective? 

It’s only a snowball and they didn’t even throw it hard, but she doesn’t want Christen or the baby to get hurt, even if that would have been unlikely from the strength and aim of the snowball. 

She bites her lip, trying to decide if she needs to back off and cool the amount of protectiveness she feels over Christen. 

Tobin doesn’t get to think about it any further though, as she feels cold, but soft, lips on her cheek. 

She turns her head, immediately being pulled out of her thoughts after the contact. 

Tobin just continues to bite her lip though, so Christen cups Tobin’s cheek and tilts her head so she can leave a soft kiss on her lips. 

It reassures Tobin and pulls her thoughts from earlier away. They disappear and she squeezes Christen’s hand, silently thanking her for letting Tobin know that she appreciates the fact Tobin cares about her and tries to protect her. 

\-------

They do eventually have to fly back home though, even if Cindy and Jeff are far from happy about it. 

Christen promises them that her and Tobin would be more than happy to have Cindy and Jeff fly out after their daughter is born, since they know the months leading up to it are going to be a little stressful, so she tells them that they can discuss it over FaceTime in a couple of weeks and then book their flights. 

As soon as they’re back home and in a settled routine at work, they start thinking about which room they want to use as the nursery and how they want to decorate the room. 

Christen knows that some people might argue it’s too early to plan that yet, since she has another four months of her pregnancy left, but she would much rather do it now than wait until the last few weeks and have to rush it. 

They can always make some changes later, if they aren’t happy with something. 

Christen has always been the one to decide on how they paint and decorate the house, despite her trying to get Tobin involved every time. The furthest she’s gotten with that so far is having Tobin choose any pictures they have hanging around the house and giving her options of deciding which furniture looks better where. 

Tobin is pretty relaxed with how their home looks, much to Christen’s frustration sometimes. She trusts Christen and knows the woman has a way better taste in these things than she does, and she always loves the way things turn out. 

To her, the only thing she really needs in their house is Christen. 

One thing Tobin is more than excited about every year though, is Christmas decorations. 

If Christen thinks she can even look at one of the boxes they have in the basement, filled with all of their Christmas decorations, then she’ll find out she’s very, very wrong. 

She learned that one the hard way in their first year of living together. 

Now that it’s going to be their daughters room though, Tobin is bouncing on her feet and more than involved in every little detail. 

They head out to IKEA together, borrowing Kelley’s pick-up truck for the day and buying all the furniture they need. 

They keep all the boxes in another room for now, wanting to clear this room out before anything else. 

Since Christen doesn’t want to get rid of Tobin’s studio - one of their spare rooms that Christen encouraged Tobin to turn into a studio for her to paint in and have her own space - they store any furniture from the guest bedroom in the basement too. 

It’s Tobin's place to escape and they hadn’t needed that many guest rooms, as they rarely have anyone staying over anyway, so she thought it would be great to put the room to use. 

The even better side of it is that Christen no longer has to spend hours trying to get the paint off their living room floor and try keep herself composed, so she doesn’t end up losing her calm at Tobin when reminding her for the hundredth time to put something on top of their floor boards first. 

Surprisingly, Tobin hadn’t complained when Christen made sure Tobin wouldn’t be able to get any paint on the floor in her little studio, but she figured that Tobin picked her battles and compromised. 

It was the wise thing to do. 

So instead of storing any spare furniture in there, they take it apart and move it into the basement. 

Over the next couple of weeks, they start getting paint samples and trying to figure out which ones they like best. 

Since Christen likes to keep the style of their house pretty modern and lean more towards scandinavian style interior, they both agreed that a pastel color would look best on the walls. 

Christen is standing in the empty room, holding up the sample strips of paint in her hands. She’s looking around, squinting one eye and tilting her head to figure out which one she likes best. 

Tobin smiles at Christen’s expression, moving away from where she’s leaning against the doorframe and making her presence known by coming up behind her. 

She wraps her arms around Christen’s waist, resting them on her belly as she drops her chin down on Christen’s shoulder. 

“Which color?” Christen wonders, feeling Tobin kiss her shoulder before resting her chin down on again. 

“Which one is your favorite?” Tobin wants to know, waiting to hear Christen’s opinion before she goes ahead and voices hers. 

“I know you prefer one and that you’ll just pout when I don’t say that color!” Christen chuckles, knowing Tobin all too well. 

“I’ll let you pick!” Tobin insists, being more than aware that Christen is right, but not admitting it quite yet. 

“Baby, just tell me your favorite one.” Christen tries again, making Tobin sigh and give in. 

“I like the pastel blue.” Tobin announces, looking at all of the colors again. “Although I also like the pastel yellow.” 

Christen looks around the room again, suggesting her thoughts from earlier. “I think we should keep these three walls white, but we should probably paint over them again with fresh paint to get rid of any marks on the walls, and then paint this one with a color.” 

“I like that idea!” Tobin nods, trying to picture it in her head. 

“That way the color won’t stand out _too_ much, but since all of the furniture is white, we can match the decorations to whichever color we pick to make sure the room is still nice and colorful.” Christen continues on from Tobin’s response. 

Tobin nods again. “Yeah, I want it to be bright and look like it’s a kid’s room, instead of being plain and too grown up.” 

“I’m sure it’ll change completely once she’s older and decides for herself how she wants her room to look.” Christen chuckles, knowing how she loved designing her own room when she was growing up. 

“As long as she never wants pink walls.” Tobin mumbles and Christen can’t help but laugh at Tobin’s hate for the color. 

“If pink is her favorite color…” Christen stops her sentence, knowing she was about to be interrupted by Tobin. 

“No!” Tobin cuts her off, just like she expected. “I love you, babe, but Perry and I both wanted pink rooms when we were like eight and ten years old, and it was torture.” 

“I’m never putting my child through that and I still don’t know what went through my mind to decide that pink walls were a good idea.” She’s speaking with so much disbelief that Christen can’t help but laugh. “It lasted for all of two months before both of us were almost begging my mom to paint our walls again.” 

Christen giggles softly. “We’ll save this discussion until it gets to that point.” 

_“If_ it gets to that point and that’s a very big _if.”_ Tobin rubs her thumb on Christen’s belly. “You hear that, little one? No pink walls for you, okay?” 

“If pink is her favorite color, then she’s gonna want to stay in my belly forever now.” Christen leans back into Tobin, tilting her head towards her wife’s. 

“I never said anything about favorite colors.” Tobin defends. “Just no pink walls.” 

Christen just shakes her head with a smile. “Maybe she won’t even like pink. Maybe her favorite color will be red, or blue, or green, or yellow, or turquoise.” 

There’s a moment of silence, allowing both of them to track their minds back to their original conversation, now that they realize they got a little distracted. 

“She’s going to be perfect.” Tobin whispers, speaking her thoughts out loud without even meaning to. 

“And she’s going to have you wrapped around her little fingers.” She speaks without a second thought, because she already knows that Tobin is going to be the biggest softy. 

That doesn’t mean she won’t discipline her and be strict with her if she has to be, because she will, but Christen knows that she’ll have to prepare for the many times the two of them will gang up on her to get their way. 

“You have me wrapped around your finger, considering I can’t say no to you, so if she’s going to be anything like you, then I’m screwed.” Tobin chuckles, knowing that Christen is speaking the complete truth. 

Christen’s eyebrows furrow as she leans her head into Tobin’s. “I can’t tell if that was an insult or a backhanded compliment.” 

“Well, I married you, didn’t I?” Tobin raises an eyebrow, being aware that Christen knows she’s only joking. 

“And I’m very glad that you did!” Christen raises the paint samples back up to their view. 

“So, which paint?” Christen brings them back to their original conversation. “The past blue one or the pastel yellow one?” 

Tobin smiles, all of the sudden being so sure about the color. “The yellow one, because she’s already our little sunshine.” 

And Christen just smiles, because she can’t argue with that. 

\-------

Christen is having a bad day. 

When she says she’s having a bad day, she really means a terrible and things-could-not-get-any-worse, type of day. 

Nothing happened to cause this year. 

Her work schedule is fine, her students have been fine, Tobin hasn’t done anything wrong, her alarm clock went off in the morning and she’s perfectly on time of her schedule. 

In fact, it’s her last day at work before she goes on maternity leave - three weeks before she’s due - so really, she should be fully motivated right now.

Tobin and Kristie had both tried to convince Christen to start her maternity leave at least a week earlier, seeing as standing all day with her balloon-like belly isn’t doing her back any good at all, but Christen insisted that she wanted to work for another week and Tobin was slightly afraid to tell Christen otherwise. 

What has happened though, is her lack of sleep during the previous night. 

Her baby had been kicking and moving around all night long and Christen was exhausted. 

She feels like she could fall asleep, right now, on the spot.

She feels like she’ll fall asleep right away if she does as little as blinking too slowly. 

Meanwhile, Tobin spent the whole night peacefully letting out quiet snores next to her. 

Christen had a long debate of whether she should push Tobin out of the bed with her foot and have her sleep on the floor, or if she should make her sleep outside in the backyard. The debate took up most of her thoughts for the night, but at the end of it, the conclusion she formed was that she loves Tobin too much to even nudge her awake out of her deep sleep. 

If only Tobin would have even woken up and held Christen in her arms, she thinks she would have already slept better. 

Or slept at all. 

Christen gets changed the minute she gets home, just wanting to get out of those clothes. 

She comes back downstairs with a huff and Tobin tilts her head right away. She knows that the only way she’s going to get anything out of Christen is by being soft and understanding, even if Christen might come out with something that makes as much sense as trying to do your laundry by putting them in the fridge. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Tobin kisses the wrinkle between Christen’s eyebrows, trying to encourage her to relax her facial expression. 

“These clothes are so tight and uncomfortable now!” Christen exclaims with a sigh. The shirt she’s wearing is just one of Christen’s regular shirts, but it just about covers her belly. 

She tends to just wear normal clothes at home instead of maternity ones, having insisted that she only needs maternity clothes for work, so it was the best she could do. 

Weeks ago, Tobin had tried to convince Christen to order some maternity clothes, but she didn’t even have a chance to finish her sentence and hasn’t tried again since. 

Christen tugs on the shirt a little as she continues. “I just want to be comfortable and relax.” 

Tobin looks down at the soft and oversized shirt she has on over her shorts. They were the first clothes she found when they got home, so she just threw them on. 

Tobin reaches for the hem of Christen’s top, pulling it over her head. 

“Tob-” Christen starts, furrowing her eyebrows but Tobin just shakes her head and tells Christen to relax. 

She pulls her own shirt off after, waiting for Christen to put her arms up so she can help her put the shirt one. Tobin takes the shirt Christen originally had on, putting it on instead. 

When she sees the relief in Christen’s facial expression, noticing how she instantly relaxes a little more now that she’s wearing a loose shirt, Tobin helps Christen take her sweatpants off too, figuring she doesn’t need them since they’re not leaving the house for the rest of the night anyway. 

She pulls Christen’s side in afterwards, trying to avoid her belly getting in the way of their hug. 

“Better?” Tobin whispers into Christen’s hair, earning a hum as a response. “Mhm, much better.”

“Thank you!” Christen whispers into the silence after a moment and Tobin could sense that Christen had a bad day, so she hopes that the rest of it will go smoothly. 

Now that she’s home, Christen is usually able to take a deep breath and switch anything that stresses her off for a few hours. 

Tobin soon finds out that this isn’t the case - at least not tonight. 

She can tell how tired Christen is today, so she suggests going to bed early today to give Christen more time to sleep. 

So they head upstairs _very_ early. 

Tobin figures that she’ll just lie with Christen and maybe read her book a little once Christen is asleep, since she doesn’t feel very tired today and knows she’ll be wide awake in the middle of the night if she sleeps now. 

“This isn’t even funny anymore.” Christen huffs in a frustrated voice, making Tobin turn from where she’d been getting her sleep shirt out. 

“What’s the matter?” Tobin speaks calmly, trying to help Christen calm down too. 

“My rings don’t fit anyone because my hands are a little swollen.” Christen pouts with a frown on her face. “They’ve been hurting my fingers for a couple of days now and I can’t get them off!” 

“Here, let me help.” Tobin approaches her, taking Christen’s hand into her own and slowly sliding her engagement ring and thin wedding band off, trying not to hurt the younger woman. 

“Maybe keep them off until the swelling has gone down?” Tobin suggests to her once they’re off, seeing how the rings had clearly been cutting her blood circulation, at least a little. 

“I can’t go the next three or so weeks without wearing my rings!” Christen defends the suggestion as if Tobin was insane for even thinking about that. 

“It doesn’t change that we’re married.” She shrugs, laying Christen’s rings on her nightstand. 

“I know.” Christen exhales, thinking over Tobin’s suggestion again. “I just- yeah, okay. I’m putting them back on the minute we get home from the hospital after I give birth though!” 

“Okay.” Tobin chuckles, picking Christen’s rings back up and putting them in the drawer of her nightstand instead, knowing they’re safer there and won’t get lost. 

Christen decides she wants to take a shower, claiming that she feels disgusting. 

Before she’s able to make it that far, Tobin starts running a bath for the two of them. 

“You know, I tried to shave my legs yesterday and I couldn’t.” Christen begins to tell her as they get undressed, waiting for the bath to fill up. “I couldn’t even get anywhere near my toes and I was too scared to slip in the shower, so I just gave up without even starting.” 

Tobin tries to hold in her laugh, biting down on the insides of her cheeks. 

“I was not made to be a gymnast!” She announces as she thinks over the events from the previous day again. “I was just hopping around, trying to balance, but the furthest I could reach was up to my knees.” 

Tobin starts laughing now, trying to picture Christen’s attempt in her head. 

Her wife reaches into the bathtub, lifting her wet hand out and flicking it at Tobin to splash some water in her direction. 

“Baby, this is so embarrassing though.” She tries to get Tobin’s sympathy. “I can’t have hairy legs.” 

“Who’s going to see them over the next three weeks?” Tobin asks her, climbing into the bathtub first and then giving Christen a hand in sitting down. 

She rests her back against Tobin’s chest, feeling Tobin’s arms wrap around her and rest on her belly. 

“Well-” Christen behinds, stalling when she realizes what Tobin means. “Just you.” 

“And am I bothered?” Tobin knows that Christen has the right answer to this. 

This is confirmed when Christen shrugs and voices her response. “No.” 

“Chris, I’ve never cared about how often you shave your legs.” She adds onto Christen’s answer. 

Tobin raises an eyebrow at the woman. “You should have learned that when we moved in together and you used to climb into bed whilst announcing that you hadn’t shaved your legs that day. I never once shoved you into the shower after that, did I?” 

“No.” Christen chuckles, confirming Tobin’s rhetorical question. “Everyone I’ve dated in the past seemed to have an obsession with whether or not I shave and moisturise my body on a daily basis, so I had to make you aware beforehand, so you were prepared.” 

“I wouldn’t have been bothered though.” She assures her, even if that’s something Christen already knows. “I promise.” 

“I love you for you, and all I’ve ever wanted to do was make you feel loved, accepted and safe.” And considering they’ve made it this far in their relationship, Tobin hopes she’s doing a decent job at making Christen feel those things. 

“You do all of those things - more than anyone ever could!” Christen assures Tobin as she rests her hand on top of the older woman’s.

Christen shakes her head with a giggle, suddenly remembering something. “I remember when we first started staying over at each other’s places on Friday nights, like right when we first started dating, and I’d pretty much have a full self-care and beauty type of afternoon on Thursdays, because I was still so nervous about making sure everything is perfect whenever I was sleeping in the same bed as you.” 

“Oh trust me, I was the same!” Tobin recalls all of the things she would do to make sure her house was spotless before Christen came over. 

“I used to cut my nails every time we spent the night together too.” Christen mentions another thought. “Now, you just drag me to the bathroom and hand me a nail clipper if they’re too long for your liking.” 

Tobin starts laughing, thinking about the last time she did that. 

“At least that’s only happened a handful of times and not more.” Christen laughs now too. “It’s easy to forget, okay?” 

“We’re just way more comfortable around each other now.” Tobin smiles when she thinks about how different they are around each other now, compared to their first date and the first time they stayed over at each other’s houses after officially being in a relationship. 

“Maybe a little too comfortable!” She teases, but Tobin is quick to softly defend the joke. 

“Nah, I’m glad I have someone who I’m more comfortable around than when I’m with anyone else!” Tobin speaks in a soft tone. “It’s helped me a lot, and continues to help me, in trying to find my truest self, because I know that I can be whoever I want to be and you’ll still support me.” 

“I’m really glad that I found that person in you.” Christen turns her head, returning those words to Tobin and thinking about how true they are. 

She can’t think of a single moment over the years where she’s ever felt scared or uncomfortable around Tobin, something that she’s never experienced with anyone else before, at least not to the same extent. 

“If you would have told me that this is where we would end up, on the day we met, then I think I would have told you that you’re crazy.” Tobin chuckles, remembering the instant affect Christen had on her, but still not expecting everything they have now. 

She didn’t even expect to get the job or to see Christen again at that point. 

Now she gets to see her everyday, both at home and at work. 

“These past few years together have been pretty incredible, huh?” Christen mentions as she thinks back to everything they’ve done together up until now. 

Them becoming parents is going to be just another new chapter in their life together, and one that they’re both so excited for. 

“The best years!” Tobin hums, before Christen giggles and gets back them to their original discussion. 

“Even if it’s been the best years of our lives, that still doesn’t mean I can go without shaving my legs. You might mistake me for a gorilla and lock me out of the house!” 

And Tobin just bursts out laughing. “I’m pretty sure that won’t happen.” 

They both relax after a moment, leaning back and enjoying the silence for a moment. 

“Oh! I have a fun question for you!” Tobin seems to suddenly remember, pulling them out of the silence. 

Christen hums, leaning further into her. “What is it?” 

“I was thinking about this earlier...don’t ask why-” Tobin begins, thinking about the random thought she had in the shower this morning. 

“Why?” Christen interrupts her, giggling to herself when Tobin gives her an unimpressed glare. 

She rolls her eyes, continuing with her thought. “Okay, so what I was thinking is if you would have gone pro after graduating from College, how do you think we would have met?” 

Christen can’t help her mouth turning into a smile, lips curling up, at Tobin being so sure that they would have ended up in this very moment, no matter what path they choose in life. 

“There could have been lots of ways, I guess. We could have had a chance meeting somewhere, maybe we would have played against each other in College, or maybe I would have ended up playing for the Portland Thorns and we would have met in Portland.” Christen begins after thinking about Tobin’s question for a moment. “Or, if you would be working here, maybe I would have been playing at LAFC with Rachel and then we could have met through Kristie?!” 

Christen shrugs, thinking that there are so many alternatives of how they could have met over the years. She always knows though that no matter what, they would have ended up together for good. 

All of the sudden, Tobin moves from behind Christen, standing up and stepping out of the bathtub. 

She watches as Tobin wraps a towel around herself, looking at her with questioning eyes. 

Instead of turning towards her, Tobin just rummages around for a second, before clearly finding what she was looking for. 

Christen raises an eyebrow at Tobin. “What are you doing?”

“Put your foot on here.” Tobin requests, lightly patting the side of the bathtub. 

Christen does so, still feeling confused. 

Tobin just reaches for the shaving cream and razor though, deciding that if there’s anything she can do to help Christen feel a little more comfortable right now, she’ll do it. 

Christen claims that she feels like a new person by the time she climbs into bed, so Tobin just goes along with it, glad she could do something so simple to make Christen a little happier.

Although she can’t help but chuckle at just how grateful Christen is for something so simple. 

She comes out of the bathroom, watching as Christen struggles to braid her hair. Her back has been achy today, and trying to reach the back of her head isn’t helping the pain go away. 

Whilst Tobin is definitely not an expert in this, she figures she can give it a try. 

“Let me do it.” Tobin offers, earning a surprised look from Christen. 

“Since when do you know how to braid hair, baby?” Christen’s eyebrows furrow as she stares at Tobin, trying to figure out if she’s feeling alright. “You’ve _always_ told me that you can’t!” 

“I may or may not have been practicing.” Tobin admits with a blush. “Maybe our daughter wants to have french braids in sometimes, once she’s older, so I need to know how to do them. Maybe she doesn’t, but I have to be prepared for all situations here.”

If Christen wouldn’t be eight months pregnant right now, Tobin wouldn’t have had the chance to finish braiding Christen’s hair. 

But she knows she’d stand no chance right now. 

Tobin can tell when Christen isn’t comfortable or when she isn’t particularly in the mood for sex, and the same goes the other way round, so they don’t have it when that’s the case. 

A few weeks ago, Christen was still more than up for it, but Tobin could tell that Christen can’t get comfortable during it anymore and she won’t push Christen on it. 

Her wife will come to her when she’s ready for it again, and Tobin is more than understanding and okay with that, so she’ll wait for Christen to make the first move. No matter how long or short it’ll take for Christen’s body to be ready again after she gives birth, Tobin will wait until Christen feels ready to be intimate again. 

Despite all of this, Christen falls asleep right away that night, after Tobin finishes doing her hair and Christen pulls her into a series of soft kisses. 

It only takes seconds to drift off to sleep after her head hits the pillow. 

\-------

Tobin feels strange when she leaves for work the next morning. 

It’s the first time in a long time that she isn’t going with Christen. 

Her car ride is unsurprisingly boring. It’s quiet and feels long, unlike the car rides with Christen, which she’s more than used to by now. 

Tobin heads into the office, suddenly remembering that she’ll be working with someone who isn’t Christen for their usual lessons today, but she’s excited about meeting the person who’ll be covering Christen until she’s back. 

Not as excited as she’d be to work with Christen, but still excited. 

Christen and Kristie had been the ones to discuss how long someone would need to fill her role, which they worked out is going to be up to the beginning of November. 

Kristie had ended up doing the interviews alone, informing them that a friendly woman would be filling Christen’s role. 

Since Christen is due three weeks before summer break starts, she has the chance to use the rest of her maternity leave after summer break, which should run her through until their daughter is nearly six months old. 

They’d both been relieved about this, knowing that they’ll prefer to send their daughter to daycare, instead of getting a nanny. It’s not that they have anything against having a nanny, but both of them went to daycare before they were old enough to start school, and they want her to be around and interact with other children from a young age.

That’s their plan for the future so far, but it might change. They simply outlined it and decided to discuss it once it gets closer to that time for them. 

She walks into the office to be met with a woman sitting on the desk that Christen normally sits on. 

_This is going to take some getting used to._

She notices that she’s the only other person in the office so far and the woman doesn’t seem to notice Tobin until the door falls shut. 

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t see you coming in.” She looks up at Tobin, giving her a polite smile. 

“All good, I only just got here anyway.” Tobin waves her off, dropping her bag next to her desk. 

The woman stands up, walking up to Tobin and sticking her hand out. 

“Hey, I’m Nicole Davis. I’m covering Christen Heath whilst she’s on maternity leave.” She introduces herself as Tobin tries to figure the woman out a little more, noticing that she seems to be around the same age as her. 

“I’m Tobin Heath, it’s nice to meet you.” She holds her hand out too, shaking the one that’s in front of her. 

“I think I might be teaching some lessons with you today?” Nicole comments, recognizing the name from looking at her schedule earlier. 

“I normally teach two lessons with Christen today and one with Alex, and then I have the other three free, so yeah we will be.” Tobin runs over her schedule in her head, noticing that the woman is in fact correct. 

“Christen and you having the same last name is pretty funny.” The woman comments as she looks down at the sheet of paper Kristie gave her earlier, one with Christen’s usual timetable so Nicole can use it to know where she has to be and when. “I bet that can get confusing.” 

“Are you related or is it just a coincidence?” Nicole comments as an afterthought, simply trying to make conversation. 

Tobin chuckles, making Nicole give her a questioning look. “No, she’s my wife.” She clarifies, thinking it might be a little awkward if she ever sees Christen and her interact whilst thinking they’re related. “We’re married.” 

“Oh!” Nicole’s eyes go wide as she starts laughing too. “Well, I’m off to a great start today.” 

Tobin just shakes her head with a smile. “You couldn’t have known.” 

“Well, congratulations to you two on the pregnancy then! I bet that’s exciting.” She smiles kindly, clearly meaning what she’s saying. “I hope Christen and the baby are doing well so far!” 

“Thank you!” Tobin’s face lights up just thinking about this and suddenly she can’t wait to get home to her wife, even if her work day hasn’t started yet. “They’re doing great! We’re both really excited and there’s only three short weeks left until Christen’s due date.” 

“Do you know what you’re having or are you waiting to find out at birth?” She wonders, wanting to show an interest in their life. 

“We’re going to have a daughter!” Tobin announces, “We didn’t think there were enough girls in our household, so we decided to add one more.” 

Nicole laughs at the joke, questioning if she’s their first child. “Have you got any other children?” 

“She’s going to be our first.” Tobin shakes her head. “And hopefully not our last, if everything goes to plan.” 

Nicole gives her a kind smile, nodding as Tobin decides to go back to their original topic.

“I’ll warn you in advance then and let you know that our other two PE teachers, Alex and Julie, are married to teachers working at this school too.” Tobin tells her as she thinks about all of the teachers they have at the school. “You’ll probably hear Kristie joking about the fact that half of her teachers are married to each other, but it’s only funny because it’s true.” 

“So if I want a boyfriend I’ve come to the right place?” Nicole jokes and Tobin starts laughing with a nod. “Yep, you’re in the perfect place for a new boyfriend.” 

Eventually Julie and Alex arrive too, introducing themselves and quickly running over the schedule. 

They have an unofficial meeting with Kristie at lunch time, just going over how the day had been going so far and if they think any changes need to be made for the following day. Kristie also checks to see if Nicole has been settling in okay and whether she has any questions. 

Tobin is sitting in the office during the last lesson of the day - fifteen minutes before it’s due to finish - when she remembers what her plans were for today. 

She packs her bag up, quickly pulling out her phone to text Christen. 

**Tobs :** Hey, babe. Kristie just asked if we can have a meeting in twenty minutes, but it should be a quick one. I promise I’ll be home as soon as possible. 

**Chris :** Take your time, baby. Gran just left, she came to see me and we went downtown to have something for lunch. I’ll see you when you get home.

Tobin doesn’t tell Christen that she doesn’t actually have a meeting. 

She doesn’t tell her that they had the meeting at lunch time. 

Instead, she heads out and gets into her car to drive towards the mall. 

Tobin has a plan. 

She knows exactly which shops she needs to go to and where she’ll be spending her money today. 

The first store she enters is lululemon, and she ends up leaving with three different pairs of leggings in the bag she's carrying. 

They’re all two sizes up from Christen’s normal size. She knows that they might end up being a little baggy and loose when Christen wears them, but Christen had bought a pair of the size below this a couple of weeks ago, and they still felt a little too tight for her to be fully comfortable. 

She moves on through some of Christen’s other favorite stores, purchasing a number of oversized shirts and a couple of oversized hoodies too. 

These clothes are only really meant for Christen to wear at home, especially now that she’s on maternity leave, but she’ll take a guess in assuming that Christen will want some soft and baggier clothes for the first few weeks after she gave birth too, so she makes sure not to buy too big of a size. 

_I don’t think I’ve ever bought this much at the mall in my life and I’ve only been to four stores._ Tobin thinks to herself as she looks down at the bags she’s holding, noticing that she’s already got more than she was planning on buying. 

She’d made a quick stop in between, buying Christen some donuts, a tub of her favorite ice cream flavor and a soft, grey blanket she spotted. She also grabs the same one in yellow whilst she’s there, knowing it’ll be perfect for the nursery. 

_Actually, that’s a lie._ Tobin corrects herself. _Christen makes me tag along sometimes and that takes forever. It’s a good job that I love her, otherwise I would not be willing to step foot into a mall with her._

_Christen could go pro in shopping, that’s how much time she spends in different stores._ She grins to herself as she thinks about the million times Tobin tags along behind Christen, being dragged into store after store. 

Tobin suddenly stalls in her tracks, the person behind her almost walking into her, after having spotted the store from the corner of her eye. She hadn’t been planning on going here, but now that she’s standing in front of it, she may as well go inside and just have a look around. 

She does so, walking into the jewellery store and seeing a section for rings. 

There’s one that catches Tobin’s eye right away - one that would be similar to Christen’s wedding band, if it weren’t _a lot_ cheaper and silver instead of golden. 

Tobin knows Christen’s usual ring size off by heart, but she decides it’s best to ask for advice. 

Fortunately, she spots the manager right across the store, figuring that she would be the perfect person to help her. 

That’s how she finds herself walking out of the store with a ring box in one of her bags. Tobin assumes that it’s likely going to be a tiny bit loose on Christen’s finger, but Tobin has a feeling that Christen will prefer that for now and it won’t be loose enough to slip off. 

Checking the time, she realizes that she should really get home soon, so she makes her way back to the familiar front door, pulling out her key and unlocking it. 

She drops all of the bags by the front door, looking over to the sofa to see if Christen is there. 

“Babe?” Tobin calls out, wondering if Christen is upstairs. 

She calls for her again, noticing in that moment that Christen is sitting outside on the patio. Christen seems to spot Tobin at the same time, standing up and making her way inside. 

“Hey, you.” A big smile makes its way onto her face, as she leans in to leave a soft kiss on Christen’s lips. 

Tobin crouches down afterwards, gently kissing Christen’s belly. “And hello to you too.” 

“How was the meeting?” Christen wonders right away, clearly having been bored after sitting around at home for most of the day. 

“I didn’t have one!” Tobin grins, shrugging her shoulders. “Well, I did, but it was at lunch time.” 

Christen furrows her eyebrows, tilting her head with confusion. “Where have you been then?” 

Tobin pulls Christen closer to the front door, grabbing the bags. 

“So, I hope you like them, and we can return them if you don’t, but I got you some clothes to wear around the house.” Tobin begins, pulling the clothes out of the lululemon bag first. “They’re all oversized, so the leggings might be a little baggy on you, but I know that you mainly have lululemon leggings and that you’ve mentioned how they’re the softest and stretchiest ones you own, so I figured these would be best.” 

“Then I got you some tops and a couple of hoodies too.” Tobin pulls them out of the bags too, presenting them one by one. “I just thought you might prefer to wear these types of clothes whilst you’re at home for the next three weeks, or even after giving birth, or whenever you just want to hide in oversized clothing and feel comfortable.” 

“Thank you for always looking after me.” Christen whispers as she hugs Tobin, kissing her temple and wanting her to know just how much she appreciates Tobin looking out for her like this and taking the time to do so. 

“I also got you this!” Tobin holds her finger up, stopping Christen and picking up the final bag. “I asked the manager for help, so I hope it’s not too tight or too loose, and I know it’s not the fanciest one, but I wanted to get you one that you could wear for now.” 

She opens the box, pulling the ring out. 

It isn’t an expensive ring, but it’ll do its job until the swelling in Christen’s hands goes down again. 

Besides, it’s the thought and meaning behind it that count, not the price tag.

Christen’s face lights up as soon as she sees it and her beaming smile lights up the whole room. 

“Will you put it on me, please?” Christen softly requests, sticking her hand out. 

Tobin just chuckles though and Christen gives her a questioning look. “What?” 

She watches as her wife gets down on one knee, trying to contain her laughter as she holds the ring up. 

“Christen Annemarie Heath, will you be the mother of my child? Even if it means that you’ll need a different ring because your hands keep swelling up, that your clothes are all too tight and uncomfortable, that you can’t reach your legs to shave them, that you have _insane_ mood swings, that you can’t drink coffee and can’t stand the smell of certain foods, and that you’ll have to keep putting up with me for the rest of our days?” 

“Hmm, will you pay me?” Christen wonders as she finally stops giggling and is able to say something in return. Tobin starts laughing harder at that too. 

When she sees that Tobin is actually waiting for a response, she rolls her eyes with a smirk. “Yes, Tobin...I guess I’ll be the mother of your child.” 

“Wow, that might have been more romantic than our engagement and wedding combined.” Tobin jokes, but she just earns a shove from Christen. 

\-------

Tobin is sitting in the office, rambling on to Julie about what she should do for her coaching session today, despite Julie not having a clue about soccer, when Kelley interrupts them. 

“Christen is due this weekend, isn’t she?” Kelley suddenly remembers off the top of her head, wondering if that was correct or if she has the dates mixed up. She’s been so busy lately, that she’s lost track of what day it is and how many weeks along Christen is. 

Tobin nods with a sigh, trying not to let her smile show. 

“What?” Kelley wonders, when Tobin looks like she’s about to say something, but doesn’t speak. 

“Nothing.” Tobin begins, before speaking up again. “I’m just so happy and she’s amazing. I already know Chris is going to be the best mother and I can’t wait to have a family with her. I-” 

Tobin stops, looking up to see Kelley and Julie smiling at her. 

“And I’m rambling.” Tobin chuckles as she thinks over everything she just said. “I love my wife too much and I’m being sappy. I’ll see myself out and then I can get done with this training session, so I can be sappy to her instead.” 

“Nah, you don’t love her too much.” Kelley corrects Tobin. “It’s cute how much both of you love each other, especially since Christen said pretty much those exact words to me, when I called her last night.” 

“She did?” Tobin’s face lights up, as if it’s a surprise to hear that. 

“Oh yeah, that woman loves you insane amounts.” Kelley winks, before Julie chuckles and chips into the conversation. 

“With all of these emotions, you would think that you’re the one who’s pregnant, Tobs.” Julie jokes, making Kelley and Tobin laugh. 

“You know, Tobs, I love you and you’re one of my closest friends. I’d do anything to protect you, but it will always stand.” Kelley tells her in a serious tone, raising her eyebrows. “If you _ever_ break that woman’s heart, then I will literally kill you with my bare hands.” 

“Kelley, we’re married!” Tobin chuckles, giving her a confused look.

“So?” She defends her statement. “That doesn’t mean people don’t get separated or divorced and have their hearts broken!” 

“Well, we’ll all be living on the moon before that happens, trust me.” Tobin assures her, realizing that Kelley has a point. She’d never even consider separating from Christen or them getting divorced, so she didn’t think that far. “I’m never going anywhere.” 

“I know!” Kelley smiles, a lot kinder now, pulling her into a side hug. “I just had to remind you.” 

Tobin shakes her head as Julie laughs at the pair, leaving the office and going to see whether the soccer team is ready for their practice yet. 

She’s exhausted by the time she finishes coaching, just wanting to get home now. 

Tobin packs up her bags, about to leave the office, when Alex gets her attention instead. 

“Tobin?” She says as Tobin is on her way towards the office door. 

“Nope!” Tobin declines the request to speak to her, continuing to slowly move towards the door. 

_“Tobinnnnn.”_ Alex whines, just trying to have her attention for a short moment. 

“Tobin is not available.” She announces as she rummages through her bag, trying to find her car keys. “She’s going to see her very pregnant, but very beautiful, wife.” 

“Tobin, I just need you for five minutes, please.” She tries again, still not giving in even if she won’t win. 

Tobin speaks a little louder this time, trying to emphasize her point. “Tobin is going to see her very pregnant, but very beautiful, wife, who is waiting for her at home!” 

“Please?” Alex tries one last time, and this time she succeeds.

Tobin groans, turning around and waiting for Alex to start talking. She drops her head onto Julie’s shoulder with a deep sigh and pout. “I just want to go home and see Chris.” 

“Look at her!” Julie points to Tobin, chipping into the conversation. “You have to let her go home.” 

“Okay, fine.” Alex gives in, but not before making sure she gets the chance to talk to Tobin later. “I’ll just text you about it.” 

“I can’t promise that you’ll get a reply.” She shrugs, picking her phone and car keys back up, checking her bag is closed.

“Tobin!” Alex calls after Tobin as she walks out of the door. 

“I’m kidding.” Tobin yells back as she walks off, mumbling _sort of kidding_ once she’s far enough away. 

She knows very well that the minute she gets home, she’ll forget that she even has a phone and will just want to be with Christen. 

\-------

Tobin spots Christen as soon as she steps into the house, feeling the familiar warmth of being home in her heart. 

Christen is asleep on their corner sofa, her feet stretched out from where she’s sitting. 

Tobin can’t help but smile as she heads upstairs, going to change into more comfortable clothes, before coming back downstairs and draping a blanket over Christen. 

She softly kisses her forehead, trying not to wake her up as she sits down next to her and wraps an arm around Christen. 

Even in her sleep, Christen cuddles into Tobin. It’s almost like an instinct by now, her being able to detect Tobin’s presence and just wanting to be as close to her as possible. 

Tobin slips a hand under their blanket, moving it under Christen’s shirt and resting it on her belly. 

She closes her eyes for a short while, drifting into light sleep, before waking up again not much later. 

Tobin turns to see the head resting on her shoulder still has closed eyes. She can’t imagine how tired Christen must be, especially with her only having five more days left until her due date. 

They could become parents any day now, and Tobin just wants to make sure Christen has everything she needs until that day comes. 

And every day after that. 

She slowly moves her hand, rubbing Christen’s belly. Tobin soon realizes that might have been a mistake, when she feels the baby kick and move inside Christen. 

Christen stirs awake with an annoyed groan. 

Tobin chuckles at her wife, whispering in a soft voice. “Hey, sleepyhead.” 

Christen nuzzles further into Tobin, making a noise that indicates she isn’t particularly pleased about waking up. 

When she finally opens her eyes, she seems to notice that something is different than when she fell asleep. 

She looks at Tobin before smiling widely. “Baby, you’re home!” 

“I am.” Tobin sighs contently as she leaves a kiss in Christen’s hair. 

The baby kicks again in that moment, and Christen takes a deep breath.

“My little girl, I love you already, but for the love of God, please stop kicking my bladder and waking me up.” She looks down, laying her hand on top of Tobin’s. “You can either sleep in my belly or just pop out of my vagina someday soon.” 

Tobin starts laughing. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?” 

“I love you too, but I’m about to pee myself, so I better run.” Christen announces as she slowly tries to sit up. “Not actually run though, because I don’t think I can even remember how to do that.” 

Tobin just grins, helping Christen stand up so she can go to the bathroom. 

Christen returns a couple minutes later, moving back onto the sofa next to Tobin. 

“Her kicking you might have been my fault.” Tobin mentions as she opens her arm out for Christen again. “I started rubbing your belly, so I think she woke up and started moving around.” 

“She should know better than that by now.” Christen jokes, earning a chuckle from Tobin. “I’ve been taking short naps all day anyway, so if I sleep any more, then I definitely won’t be tonight.” 

Christen looks down at her belly again, tilting her head. “Isn’t it strange to think that there’s someone living inside of me.” 

Tobin looks at her with raised eyebrows, before shrugging and responding. “Well, if you put it that way, then yeah.”

“It feels crazy that I grew a baby. It brings me so many emotions, but they’re just so unexplainable.” Christen tries to describe it to Tobin, but instantly realizes that she won’t be able to. “Pregnancy has, and continues to be, so hard at points, but it also feels so magical and beautiful.” 

“I can’t imagine how tiring it must be too.” Tobin chips in, kissing Christen’s cheek. “You’ve done such an amazing job so far and I’m so proud of you!”

“Hopefully, it’s not going to be much longer before we get to meet our little baby Heath.” Tobin just can’t get over how quickly these past few months have gone. 

It feels like just yesterday, when Christen showed her the positive pregnancy test. Now, there’s no way of denying or questioning the fact that Christen is pregnant. 

_Very_ pregnant.

“The Heath family is officially growing.” Christen winks, just thinking about how much is still ahead of them for the future. 

“It’s going to be the best one!” Tobin announces without hesitation, knowing that any family with Christen in it is going to be special. 

“For sure!” Christen nods, leaning into her and focusing on the feeling of Tobin’s fingers running through her hair. 

“Kelley gave me _the talk_ again today.” Tobin remembers, being all too aware that Christen will know what she means. 

She laughs as she thinks about her friend. “The _if you break Christen’s heart, I’ll kill you_ talk?” 

“Exactly that one, how’d you guess?” Tobin confirms and Christen can’t even pretend to be surprised. 

“You’ll probably get that for the rest of our lives.” She jokes, but they’re both aware that it’s not far from the truth. “I bet she’ll tell you those exact words when we’re retired and have grandchildren.” 

“If she keeps joking about it, you might actually start believing it.” 

“As if that’s ever going to happen.” Christen looks at her as if it’s the most nonsense that has ever come out of Tobin’s mouth. “I promised you forever and I meant it. I wouldn’t have married you if deep down, there was even a tiny part of me that had doubts.” 

\-------

But Sunday rolls around and by the time they wake up on Monday morning, their baby still isn’t here. 

Christen seems to be in a little more pain every few hours, but she claims that it’s just her Braxton Hicks contractions getting a little stronger. 

Tobin isn’t so sure, but she takes Christen’s word for it.

She watches as Christen cringes every time, looking like she’s about to cry from discomfort. 

She’d tried asking Christen what she could do or how she could help, but Christen claimed over and over again that she just needs some space to breathe and not focus on the way her feet are aching, the way her back hurts, the way her stomach keeps cramping up as if she’s on her period, and the way she seems to keep getting a headache which disappears again every hour. 

This had probably been the most difficult part of Christen’s pregnancy - the main ups and downs of it. 

Christen deciding to throw a tantrum over the smallest things, her randomly breaking down into tears, her being moody and deciding to be ignorant if she wasn’t in the mood to talk. Tobin tried her best to be patient and not get frustrated, but it wasn’t always possible and she definitely struggled more than a few times, resulting in a handful of bickers or small arguments. 

They both know that by the end of this, it’ll all have been worth it though. 

Tobin is feeling more than a little nervous when she leaves for work on Monday morning. 

It’s already a day past Christen’s due date and she’d been hoping that Christen would have gone into labor over the weekend, when Tobin was around her all day. 

She didn’t though. 

Since Channing doesn’t start work until just after midday today, she’d offered to come and stay with Christen until then. 

Despite Christen insisting she’s fine, Tobin has made sure that Channing is going to be there for as long as she can. 

Hopefully, Christen will be okay by herself for the few hours in between. 

**Tobs :** Please make sure you don’t do anything today! 

**Chris :** Baby, I can barely move. There’s nothing for me to do. 

**Tobs :** I know, I’m just checking. Are you sure you don’t want me to come home now?

**Chris :** I’m sure. I feel no different than I did last night, but I’ll let you know if anything changes. 

**Chris :** And you know what we said, you’ll be able to stay off work if she still isn’t here in a couple of days time. Channing is here, so I’m not by myself. 

**Chris :** I promise you, there’s nothing to worry about. 

**Tobs :** I’m still going to worry though.

 **Tobs :** I know, but I would have preferred to stay off and be with you from last week though. 

**Chris :** Me too, baby. 

**Chris :** That decision wasn’t up to Kristie though, because you know she would have let you. We just can’t risk you getting fired for refusing to come into work and at least Kristie was able to get you permission to stay off during my time in the hospital. 

**Tobs :** I don’t blame her, she wasn’t in control of that, but it still sucks. 

**Tobs :** And if they wouldn’t have let me stay off whilst you’re in hospital, I wouldn’t have gone to work. There’s no chance I’m ever choosing work over you, especially when you aren’t at home. 

**Chris :** I know, but this way I’ll be able to have a paid maternity leave. Kristie said that she tried getting both of us one, but the only option was both of us having an unpaid leave and we can’t afford that. 

And it was true. 

Kristie tried her best to get both of them paid maternity leave, but it was only granted to Christen. The Education Leaders of California, who Kristie had emailed, explained that the only other option was for both Christen and Tobin to have unpaid leave. 

They mentioned that Tobin could stay off work by her own refusal, but the way they worded it made it more than clear that Tobin wouldn’t have a job to return to if she were to make that choice. 

Both Christen and Tobin had a feeling that Kristie wasn’t quite telling the truth when she mentioned that she’d come across this before, but they were guessing she was just trying to protect them from what was likely influenced by homophobia. 

They knew they could take it up with them by calling and demanding them to treat Christen and Tobin like they would treat a straight couple, but they don’t want to risk their jobs, especially with a baby on the way, so they had no option but to accept that this is how it’s going to be. 

It already took Kristie longer than it should have for Tobin to be granted a short leave during the time Christen would be in hospital. 

Kristie did make sure to tell Tobin to keep her phone out and on her the whole time. 

She made sure that Tobin knows that the second she has to leave, she should do so and Kristie will handle the rest. 

And maybe that was a good idea after all, seeing as Christen has now been home by herself for two hours and over that time, the pain is increasing further and further. It isn’t until she notices that the pain is getting more consistent and regular, that she starts timing it and realizing that these are no longer Braxton Hicks contractions. 

Christen takes a deep breath, looking at the time and seeing that Tobin should be home within the next couple of hours. 

Over that time, the contractions start getting closer and closer. 

She can feel the baby adding pressure onto her bladder, so Christen stands up, deciding it would be best to go for a walk to the bathroom. 

She doesn’t get there though. 

As soon as takes a few steps, she feels her waters break. 

Christen stands there for a moment, taking a deep breath and holding onto the banister as she feels another contraction. She places her hand on her aching back, reaching for her phone and selecting Tobin’s contact number. 

“Babe?” Tobin calls out when she answers the phone call, after seeing Christen’s name appear on the display in her car. 

“Tobs, my waters just broke.” She tells her through another deep breath. “And fuck, these contractions _really_ hurt.” 

“Where are you now?” Tobin questions, trying to calm Christen and distract her a little. 

“I’m stuck downstairs in wet clothes.” She mentions, looking down at herself. 

“It’s okay, just stay there.” Tobin speaks in a soft voice, and it helps Christen relax just a little. “I’ll be home in two minutes, okay? I’m just down the road.” 

Tobin stays true to her word, entering their home a couple of minutes later to find Christen in the same position. 

“Let me get you some clothes to change into, okay?” She suggests and Christen gives her a weak nod in response. 

Tobin quickly runs up the stairs, grabbing some clothes for Christen and a washcloth. She helps her walk to their downstairs bathroom, guiding Christen in that direction. 

“Can you step out of these or do you want to sit down?” Tobin asks her, wanting to know what would be easiest for Christen. 

She shakes her head in response. “I can step out of them.” 

Tobin helps Christen, chucking her clothes to the side so she can put them in the washing machine later. She helps clean Christen up a little, from where it had covered the insides of her thighs, before helping her change into the fresh clothes.

She sits Christen down in the kitchen, grabbing her a glass of water as she quickly gets herself changed too and puts the washing machine one. 

Whilst she’s upstairs, she grabs Christen’s packed bag and rushes back down the stairs. 

As Christen notices how much closer the contractions are now, Tobin calls Dr Stoney, who tells them they should head to the hospital now and that she’ll make sure she’s on call with the hospital, so she gets notified once Christen is almost fully dilated. 

She tells them to let her know if there are any issues, but that a nurse should get Christen admitted once they arrive at the hospital and that she’ll see them there once Christen is ready to deliver the baby. 

Tobin helps Christen into the car as she throws Christen’s bag onto the backseat of the car. 

“Baby, I’m scared.” Christen mumbles before Tobin has the chance to put the car into reverse. 

She pauses, turning towards Christen and taking Christen’s face into her hands. 

“I’ll be right there throughout all of it, okay? I’m not leaving your side for anything.” Tobin leans forward, kissing Christen’s forehead. 

Christen nervously chews on her lip as she nods. 

“Babe, look at me.” Tobin requests, waiting until Christen’s eyes meet her own. 

She can see right away that Christen’s eyes are filled with fear and not knowing what to expect. “I love you and I believe in you. I know you can do this, babe. I promise that I’ll be there to hold your hand every step of the way.” 

If Tobin says that Christen is going to be okay, then Christen believes her. She trusts Tobin with her whole life and if Tobin believes in her, then Christen can believe in herself too. 

Tobin reverses out of their driveway, holding onto Christen’s hand as soon as they’re on the main road. 

She parks close to the labor and delivery wing of the hospital, helping Christen out of the car and not even making it to the door before a nurse meets them with a wheelchair. 

They quickly get checked in, filling out a bunch of paperwork, before being shown to one of the delivery rooms. 

Once it’s just the two of them, Tobin helps Christen change into her gown, making sure the pillows are the way Christen wants them. 

“Thank you.” Christen whispers to her when there’s a moment of silence. 

“For what?” Tobin wonders, not being able to think of anything special she did over the past few minutes. 

“For being my wife.” Christen explains as Tobin brushes a strand of hair out of Christen’s face. “I can’t wait to be a mom with you.” 

“You make me so happy.” Tobin smiles, pulling Christen in for a kiss. “And I can’t wait to be a mom with you either.” 

Christen bites her lip in pain as she feels another contraction, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to take deep breaths. 

She pulls the hair tie off her wrist, trying to twirl her natural curls up into a bun before they start annoying her later. Christen struggles from how she’s sitting, so Tobin grabs the hair tie, doing it for her. 

Tobin can tell Christen is getting more and more uncomfortable by the minute and she almost lets out a sigh of relief when a nurse enters the room. 

“You must be Christen Heath?” She double checks as she reads the papers in her hand, looking up at the woman on the bed. 

Christen nods, confirming that she’s in the right room. 

The nurse turns to Tobin, smiling at her as Tobin introduces herself, before the nurse speaks up again. 

“I’m Nurse Frankie, I’ll be here to check on you and make sure you’re comfortable until Dr Stoney arrives for the delivery.” 

Tobin quickly learns that their nurse is extremely friendly, something she appreciates as she sees Christen starts to relax a little. 

The nurse checks Christen vitals, hooking her up to the machines and then running her through any information she still needs. 

“Have you two got any other children?” She wonders as she sanitizes her hands again, pulling on some gloves and preparing to check how far dilated Christen is. 

Tobin smiles at the fact that she never mentioned that they’re both women, simply assuming right away that they’re both the parents and not leaving a slightly strange look as she questions where the father is or whether they’re related. She knows that this is how it should be, but Tobin’s all too aware of their healthcare system being nowhere near as protective of patients and ensuring that they don’t deal with any discrimination, as it should be.

“No, she’s going to be our first.” Christen replies through gritted teeth, trying her best not to cry or scream from the pain. 

They make friendly conversation throughout, until the nurse questions Christen on whether she wants an epidural. She barely gets the whole sentence out before Christen is nodding, practically begging her for one. 

Christen turns away from the nurse, looking at Tobin to avoid seeing the long needle in first place. She doesn’t need to know what it looks like, all she needs is for this pain to get less. 

Tobin pulls a face, her eyes widening as she looks at the length of the needle. She hates the thought of Christen having to feel the needle, but Tobin is definitely relieved that Christen is willing to get an epidural and reduce the pain as much as possible. 

“Baby, you’re really not helping right now.” Christen admits as she looks at Tobin’s facial expressions. 

“Huh?” Tobin gets pulled out of her thoughts, looking down at Christen again. 

“I turned away so I wouldn’t even have to see the needle, not because I wanted to see your reaction to it.” She explains as the nurse starts chuckling, Tobin’s facial expression suddenly relaxing as she becomes aware of it. 

“Do you want to sit up a little or are you comfortable?” Tobin asks Christen afterwards, trying to find little ways of helping her right now. 

“Ehm, I’ll sit up a tiny bit.” Christen lifts her head up a little as Tobin rearranges the pillows again. 

The nurse chuckles from across the room, watching as Tobin is fussing over Christen to constantly make sure she’s comfortable. She doesn’t think it’s going to be long until Tobin starts checking Christen’s vitals, already watching as Tobin looks around the room the whole time, following the nurse’s every move. 

“Tobin’s going to start doing my job in a minute.” Frankie jokes light-heartedly, having also seen how keeping some laughter up in the room has helped Christen. She’s hoping that once Christen’s epidural kicks in, which should be any minute now, the woman can relax a little more and doesn’t have to groan in pain every few minutes. 

“Sorry.” Tobin apologizes, unsure as to why she’s even doing so in the first place. 

“Gosh, no! Don’t apologize.” The nurse quickly corrects Tobin, stopping her before she can say anything else. “It’s sweet, and it makes me happy to see partners taking such good care of each other.” 

“I got pretty lucky to marry someone as great as Tobin.” Christen smiles, looking up at Tobin, as she feels the pain slowly becoming less and less. She can still feel the contractions, a lot, but she’s hoping that the pain will continue to fade a little more. 

“How long have you guys been married?” She wonders, continuing to fill out some documents. 

“Three years in July!” Tobin announces proudly as the nurse prepares to head out of the room again. 

They continue talking for a short moment, before she checks that she’s got everything she needs and makes her way towards the door. “Alright, I’ll be back in fifteen minutes to check how far you’ve dilated. Please let me know if you need anything in between then, I’ll just be at the nurses station.” 

Tobin moves her chair closer to Christen’s bed, lifting her hand and caressing her cheek in an attempt to soothe Christen a little. “Is the epidural starting to kick in?” 

“Yeah.” Christen nods with a sigh of relief. “The contractions are starting to hurt less, which feels like a life saver, but it still hurts a lot right now.” 

“You’re so strong and beautiful.” Tobin smiles, leaning up to kiss Christen. 

Christen cringes with pain in that moment, closing her eyes as she bites down on her lip again. 

“Deep breaths, babe.” Tobin encourages, and Christen does so, instantly feeling better. 

By the time the nurse walks back in, she can still feel her contractions happening, but they are no longer painful, something she’s more than thankful for. 

“How are you doing, Christen?” Frankie wonders as she walks back in, grabbing a pair of gloves and asking Christen to position herself so she can check how far she’s dilated again. 

Christen looks over at the woman. “I feel like I need to start pushing.” 

“Not quite, you still have to sit tight.” The nurse announces after checking, seeing that Christen isn’t far off from needing Dr Stoney in the room. “It shouldn’t be much longer though. I’ll be back to check again in a short while.” 

“I’ll try not to break your hand later on.” Christen chuckles as she looks down at Tobin and her intertwined hands. She’s not even sure if she’s loosened her grip on Tobin’s hand since first lying down. 

The next time Frankie walks into the room, it’s with Dr Stoney. 

“Hey, Christen! Hey, Tobin!” She greets as soon as she enters the room. “How are you feeling, Christen?” 

“As good as I can be right now.” Christen shrugs, not sure how else to respond. 

“Well, the good news is that you’re at ten centimeters now, meaning you’re fully dilated.” Dr Stoney announces after checking, seeing the result she’d expected. “I need you to start pushing for me now, Christen. Do you think you can do that?” 

Christen looks over at Tobin for strength, already feeling completely exhausted. She feels _so_ tired and the pressure from the contractions aren’t helping with that. 

“You’ve got this, I know you do.” Tobin whispers in Christen’s ear. “You’re so strong, babe.” 

At hearing those words, Christen looks over at Dr Stoney and Nurse Frankie, taking a deep breath and nodding. 

Everything seemed to stand still after that, whilst simultaneously going scarily fast. 

Tobin whispers reassuring and encouraging words into Christen’s ear the whole time, feeling Christen squeeze her hand as hard as she can, every time she pushes again. 

And then just like that, they both hear a scream fill the room. 

Christen drops her head back with exhaustion, closing her eyes for a second as she hears the cries. She lets her head roll to the side, not having the energy to pick it up, as she looks over at Tobin. 

Her wife leans forward, kissing Christen's sweaty forehead and breathing in Christen’s familiar scent. 

“Do you want to cut the umbilical cord?” Dr Stoney looks up at Tobin, who’s sitting as tall as she can in her chair, trying to look over Christen’s leg and get a glimpse of their daughter. 

Tobin wipes her eyes, nodding as she squeezes Christen’s hand and stands up. 

“I don’t want to hurt either of them.” Tobin says full of worry, looking down at the bundle of perfection in Dr Stoney’s hands. She knows that it doesn’t hurt, but she’s still full of worry, looking at just how precious the tiny baby in Dr Stoney’s hands looks. 

“You won’t.” Nurse Frankie assures her, showing Tobin how to do it. “Neither of them will feel anything.” 

Tobin watches as Dr Stoney quickly hands their baby over to the nurse, then focusing all of her attention on Christen and going ahead with the third, and final, stage of labor.

Nurse Frankie asks if Tobin wants to come with her, only to the other side of the room, where Tobin watches as their daughter gets evaluated and bathed, making sure she’s healthy. Once the nurse has everything she needs, to know that the little girl is perfectly healthy, she gives Tobin a bright smile and nod. 

When Tobin turns around to see Dr Stoney having finished with Christen, now coming over to double check the baby, Tobin quickly moves back to Christen’s side. 

“She’s perfect, Chris.” Tobin whispers as she kisses Christen’s head. “You did so good, babe. I’m so proud of you.” 

The next thing they know, Dr Stoney is walking over with their daughter in her arms, gently laying the girl down on Christen’s chest, resting her head at the base of Christen’s neck and ensuring they have skin to skin contact. 

It’s like time stands still after that. 

Christen doesn’t pay any attention to the nurse still moving around the room, she doesn’t pay attention to Dr Stoney helping the nurse organize the room again, she doesn’t register anything when the nurse tells Christen how well she did.

Right now, Christen only has eyes for the little body on her chest and her wife.

“Baby, we’re parents.” Christen chokes out as she looks from her daughter to Tobin, seeing as the little girl adjusts to being in the real world. 

“She’s so precious.” A tear runs down Tobin’s cheek and Christen looks up at her with the most loving and soft eyes. She reaches one hand out, wiping the tear away and keeping her hand there for a short moment. 

Tobin moves closer to them, placing one hand on both of them. She gently runs her fingers through Christen’s hair with one hand, using the other hand to very gently run her fingers over the baby's head. 

She looks up again at the body resting just underneath Christen’s necklace. As she sees the infinity charm, she realizes once again that this truly is her forever. 

It’s something she becomes more sure of every day.

“I love you so much, Chris.” Tobin whispers, feeling Christen pull her in for a kiss. “I love you too.” 

“Have you got an idea of what your little girl is going to be called yet?” Dr Stoney wonders, looking over at the trio. 

Christen and Tobin smile at each other, nodding at the same time before Tobin answers her question. 

“Olivia Faye Heath.” 

Their discussion on what to name their daughter, was surprisingly easy and didn’t take long at all. 

Although they really shouldn’t be surprised, because they’re always more than open towards each other’s suggestions and they’re more alike than some may expect, so it wasn’t all that difficult to find a name they both love. 

The smile on Dr Stoney’s face tells both of them that she thinks the name suits the newborn girl too. 

She tells them to let Nurse Frankie know if they need anything, recommending to keep skin to skin contact for at least an hour, to help Christen and Olivia bond, as it’ll improve breastfeeding too.

Dr Stoney also suggests that Tobin could do some skin on skin contact with Tobin at some point, if she feels comfortable doing so, knowing it’ll be a great way for the two of them to bond as well. 

When Christen eventually notices that it’s been way over an hour, she turns to Tobin, who’s still as close to them as she can get. 

“Baby, do you want to hold her?” Christen suggests, already being aware of what the response will be. 

She knows that Tobin is content to just be close to them, but it’s her daughter too and she knows that Tobin is desperate to hold the little girl in her arms. 

Tobin’s massive smile confirms Christen’s thought. 

Christen carefully hands Tobin their daughter for the first time, watching as Olivia just looks up at Tobin, opening her eyes, but not letting out a single cry. She’s simply trying to adjust to the feeling of someone else’s arms. 

And _oh_ does Tobin feel the love. 

It’s a type of love that she’s never felt before, but it feels so overwhelming and amazing at the same time. 

It’s completely different from the endless amount of love she feels for Christen, not even being able to compare the two because of how different it is. But at the same time, that sense of protection, unconditional love and the need to provide safety is identical. 

A tear drops from Tobin’s eyes and she wonders how this little girl in her arms is really hers - how she got so lucky. 

“Hey, Olivia.” Tobin whispers into the room. “I’m your Mama and I love you _so_ much already.” 

Christen’s eyes are still on Tobin, admiring her two favorite people. 

“Baby.” Christen whispers, getting Tobin’s attention and winking in her direction. “You look pretty good as a mother.” 

Tobin looks down at Christen with a smile, seeing the sleepy smile Christen gives her in return. 

“Get some rest, beautiful.” She reaches one of her hands out for Christen’s, squeezing her fingers. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Christen mumbles, letting her eyes close and falling asleep with the image of Tobin and their daughter engraved into her mind. 

She’s out like a light, before her eyelids even have the chance to fully shut.

Olivia seems to have sensed this. 

The little girl lets out a yawn, curling up a little more in Tobin’s arms and closing her eyes after being awake for a little while now. 

Tobin’s heart contracts at the fact that her newborn daughter already feels safe in her arms, willing to sleep there without making a single sound. 

She’d had a small worry that she would cry or be scared to be with Tobin and away from Christen at the beginning, but seeing Olivia fall asleep for the very first time after birth and that being in her arms, is so overwhelming for Tobin. 

Tobin admires Olivia in her arms, really taking the time to look at her now that both her and Christen are asleep.

She notices just how small Olivia is, slowly running her fingers over the tiny hands. She looks at the small cheeks; the button nose; the short hair on her head; the closed eyelids that are hiding the little eyes Tobin got a glimpse of earlier; the small, thin lips that Tobin already knows are going to turn into her favorite smile, joint at the top with Christen’s. 

Tobin hadn’t even realized that she’s crying, only noticing her wet cheeks when her vision blurs a little. 

She moves one hand to wipe them, before holding Olivia with both again. 

Tobin leans down after a moment, kissing Olivia’s forehead and taking in the scent of her newborn baby. 

This is it. 

Tobin’s life has officially been changed for ever - both of their lives have - and now she’s going to be a parent for the rest of it. 

But looking at this small bundle of perfection in her arms, and the perfect woman, who’s so peacefully asleep in the hospital bed, Tobin knows that she wouldn’t change this for the world. 

This is _her_ baby, her little girl, and she’s going to do absolutely anything that she can in life, to make sure that Christen and Olivia are safe and protected. She’ll do anything in her power to stop them from getting hurt. 

Tobin slowly walks over to the bassinet, gently laying Olivia down in it, for them all to get some rest before it’s time for Christen to feed Olivia again. 

She takes one more look at Olivia, before making her way over to the chair next to Christen’s bed again, looking at her sleeping wife with a big smile on her face. 

_Christen is perfect. Olivia is perfect. My life is perfect._

Tobin yawns, finally feeling the tiredness kick in and noticing that it’s already the early hours of the morning. She tries to make herself comfortable in the chair, closing her eyes and falling asleep. 

She doesn’t find herself sleeping for long, getting a cramp in her neck from the position she’s sleeping in. Tobin won’t leave her two girls though, not even for a second, so she can deal with it. 

The excitement of the past twenty-four hours don’t allow her mind to rest much anyway. 

Tobin stands up again, leaving a kiss on Christen’s cheek. 

Christen is so tired that she doesn’t move a muscle when Tobin’s lips come in contact with her skin. She doesn’t even feel it. 

Tobin walks over to the bassinet, looking down at her newborn daughter, exhausted from being introduced to the world and no longer being in the comfort of Christen’s womb. 

She looks up at the clock, remembering what Dr Stoney had told them earlier and realizing that Olivia needs to be fed soon. 

She lifts Olivia out of the bassinet, trying not to wake her, but watching as her eyes open. 

“Hi, my little girl.” Tobin instantly breaks out into a smile as she looks down. She leaves a kiss on her head, watching as Olivia looks up at her with curious eyes. 

She walks over to the side of Christen’s bed, sitting down on the edge of it, so she can free one hand. 

“Babe.” Tobin speaks just above a whisper, caressing Christen’s cheek in an attempt to wake her. 

Christen’s eyes slowly flutter open, yawning as she looks at her wife holding their daughter. 

“Hey, babe.” Tobin smiles, brushing the thin hairs out of Christen’s face. “I think Olivia is getting hungry.” 

Christen sits up a little, making herself comfortable, as Tobin hands Olivia over to her, gently adjusting her position. 

Tobin watches as Christen feeds Olivia, just trying to take it all in and remember these small moments forever. 

Eventually, Olivia is lying in the bassinet again, fast asleep after Tobin had held her until she closed her eyes again. 

She pulls her phone out when she sits down, selecting a picture she took earlier from Olivia lying on Christen’s chest, with Christen smiling as she looks down at their daughter. 

Tobin sends it to both family group chats, knowing she won’t get a reply for a few hours, seeing as it’s still very early, but wanting them all to wake up to the news. 

**Heath Family, Press Pack**

**Tobin Heath :** _Image_

 **Tobin Heath :** Since late last night, I officially have a family of three! Meet Olivia Faye Heath. She was born at 23:57 on May 11th, weighing 7lbs4oz. Chris and Olivia are both doing so well and sleeping right now. 

**Tobin Heath :** My heart feels like it’s going to burst! ❤️

Tobin feels so proud as she sends the texts, that she doesn’t even notice that Christen isn’t asleep. 

“Baby!” Christen whispers, getting Tobin’s attention. 

Tobin puts her phone to the side, looking at Christen. 

She watches as her wife shuffles along a little, moving towards the other side of the bed. 

“Come here!” She requests, patting the space next to her after seeing that Tobin was sleeping in the chair. She’d been way too tired to think about that when she first fell asleep, otherwise she would have made Tobin share the bed with her earlier. 

“I’m fine here, Chris.” Tobin shakes her head, knowing that Christen is sore and wanting her to get some proper sleep. “Have the bed to yourself.”

“Please, baby.” Christen tries again, and the look in her eyes tells Tobin that saying no isn’t an option. 

She takes her shoes off, praising herself for the fact she changed into sweatpants and a hoodie before they drove to the hospital, and moves onto the bed next to Christen. 

“You can touch me, you know.” Christen chuckles at Tobin almost hanging over the edge of the bed, from where she’s lying on top of the covers. 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Tobin whispers, looking at the space in between them. 

“You won’t, just come closer!” Christen reaches her arm out, trying to pull Tobin closer. 

She finally moves closer, lying down so she’s gently hugging Christen from the side, resting her head on Christen’s shoulder. 

“Are you sure I’m not hurting you?” Tobin double checks, not wanting to fall asleep there if she is. 

She feels Christen nod. “More than sure! I would tell you if you were.” 

“I admire you so much, I’m so proud of you.” Tobin whispers, letting her eyes close and falling asleep. 

\-------

The next morning, Tobin is the first one awake. 

It’s only been a few short hours since she fell asleep again, but she feels so well rested in comparison to before. 

As she tries to sit up, Christen stirs awake too. 

She lets her eyes flutter open, seeing the sunlight shining into the room. 

“Good morning.” Tobin whispers when she sees that Christen is no longer asleep. 

“Good morning, baby.” Christen lets out a yawn, trying to wake herself up. 

She looks around the room and over to the bassinet, seeing that Olivia is still asleep. “How long has it been since I last fed Olivia?” 

“Umm, almost three hours.” Tobin calculates, getting up from the bed and grabbing Olivia, feeling terrible for waking her up when she’s so peacefully asleep, but knowing that it’s her feeding time again. 

She passes the girl to Christen, leaving Christen to feed her as Tobin rummages through Christen’s hospital bag, finding the second toothbrush in there and going to brush her teeth in the small bathroom. 

Christen lies Olivia back down on her chest after feeding her, keeping her gown down and letting her lie on Christen’s skin. 

It’s not long before a new nurse comes to check on them, Christen remembering that Frankie told them she’d be there again overnight and then the first thing the following morning. 

She’d told the couple that Christen would likely be required to stay for twenty-hours, simply to monitor both her and Olivia and see how they’re getting on. Since she gave birth so late into the night, she’ll be discharged the morning after her twenty-four hours are up, so unless there are any issues or complications in between then, Frankie will be the one discharging her. 

The new nurse checks on Christen and Olivia, asking Tobin if she’d be alright to quickly fill out some paperwork afterwards. 

Tobin goes to buy herself some food from the cafeteria whilst she’s already out of the room, knowing that Christen would be getting her breakfast any moment now too. She brings it upstairs, sitting down on the chair whilst Christen eats her own food. 

“Babe?” Tobin wonders a little while later, receiving a hum from Christen. “Can I do some skin on skin contact with Olivia?” 

“I think it would be great for both of you, if you’re up for it.” Christen nods right away, knowing Tobin had just wanted her opinion on it. 

Christen offers to hold Olivia whilst Tobin takes her top and sports bra off, pulling the chair a little closer to Christen’s bed and taking her daughter back into her arms after. 

Christen passes Tobin the baby blanket she still has lying on her bed, so Tobin can drape it over Olivia’s back and cover herself in case anyone happens to walk into the room. 

It isn’t until later that Tobin goes on her phone again, Christen and her sitting up on the bed next to each other, Olivia lying in Christen’s arm. 

**Heath Family**

**James Parker :** Katie just screamed SO loud when she saw this and is jumping up and down with happiness, so I’m guessing that means let us know when you’re up for some visitors and we’ll be driving to see you for a weekend. 

**James Parker :** But also, congrats from both of us. We’re so happy for you and can’t wait to meet the newest edition of the Heath family. 

**Dad :** Oh my God! Y’all are making me look way too old by being a grandad for the fifth time, but she’s absolutely beautiful. Sending so much love to all three of you ❤️

**Perry Brown :** Eek, she’s here!!! Finally!! Look at that little face, she’s absolutely adorable. Auntie Perry and uncle Taylor love you already, Olivia! 

**Perry Brown :** This is giving me serious baby fever. Wanna have a third kid, Tay? 

**Katie Parker :** I don’t quite think that’s a conversation you should have in the family chat 😂

**Perry Brown : 😂😂**

**Perry Brown :** I have my hands full enough with two kids, I think I’ll take a pass on having a third one. 

**James Parker :** Imagine how Christen feels. She already had a child, Tobin, to deal with and now she has a newborn. 

**James Parker :** She’s a brave woman! 

**Katie Parker :** Chris, are you coping okay? Do you need one of us to rescue you and help out? 😂

 **Katie Parker :** Also BIG YES to having a weekend in LA! I want to meet baby Olivia! 

**Sarah Beekman :** CHRISSS! TOBSSS! OMG! Congrats, congrats, congrats! You’re going to be the best parents, she’s so lucky to have you two ❤️

**Perry Brown :** Woah, you didn’t tell me and Tay we’d be the best parents! 

**Sarah Beekman :** I didn’t meet you until after Cole and Kayden were born…

**Katie Parker :** But you didn’t tell me that either and Jake isn’t even two yet!!!

**Sarah Beekman :** Okayyyy, sorry. But who wouldn’t want Tobin and Chris as their parents? 

**Katie Parker :** Alright, you have a point. They’re probably the most fun people in the family. 

**Katie Parker :** Per, I think our kids like Tobin and Chris way better than they like us. 

**Perry Brown :** Oh, they definitely do. 

**Dad :** I’m the funniest though, right? 

**Katie Parker :** If it makes you happy, then sure. 

**Perry Brown :** I’d say I’d love to have Tobin and Chris as my parents, but we aren’t in Alabama and I think Mom and Dad might get offended. 

**Mom :** Oh, Tobin and Chris, she’s beautiful. Please FaceTime me later if you have a chance to, I need to see more of her! I’m so excited to meet you next week, Olivia. 

**Mom :** And Chris, you did so good! I’m so proud of you and admire your mental strength everyday. 

**Jeffrey Heath :** I’m at training, so I’ll call you both later and speak to you properly, but I’ve been showing my goddaughter off the whole morning and the team loves her almost as much as I do. They’re getting a bit sick of seeing the same picture over and over again though, so you might have to send some more, Tobs. 😅

Tobin and Christen laugh at all of the replies, Christen reaching for her own phone and replying to them too. 

**Tobin Heath :** My camera roll is filled with pictures of Olivia already. I’ve got you, Jeff! 

**Christen Heath :** Have I ever mentioned how much I love this family? 😂 

**Christen Heath :** On a serious note, I love you all and I’m so incredibly thankful to have you guys. Your constant love and support means the world to me. I’m so blessed to be part of this family and be a Heath, both on paper and in my heart. 

**Christen Heath :** Perry, whatever was in your coffee this morning actually made you quite funny, so feel free to keep having it. And Katie, I’ve been needing help since the day I thought dating Tobin is a good idea. Jeff, you’re obviously the funniest and I won’t break my promise. 

**Perry Brown :** Are you saying that I’m not funny? And I don’t need any coffee when I have a picture of Olivia to look at, but thanks for the insult. 

**Katie Heath :** What’s this promise? 

**Christen Heath :** That I’ll always laugh at all of Jeff’s jokes to save him the embarrassment, since no one finds them funny 😂

**Perry Brown :** Reason number 59254836 of why Christen is the favorite child, despite not being their biological child. 

Tobin just rolls her eyes with a laugh, not even denying that point since she knows Perry is right, and going to find the Press Pack group chat instead. 

By the time they’ve made it through all of the messages in that chat, they’ve arranged for Tyler, Lucas, Isaac, Channing and Fran to visit them at the hospital for an hour. 

\-------

Christen hears a knock on the door, being pulled out of the silence in the room. 

“Come in!” She calls out, trying not to wake her sleeping daughter. 

Fran opens the door, quietly walking into the room and coming into Christen’s view. 

Her jaw drops as soon as she spots the newborn lying in Tobin’s arms. 

“Keep moving! I want to see her too!” Channing urges, shoving her a little further into the room. 

They all usher into the room, grabbing the chairs stacked in the corner and putting them down next to Tobin’s. 

“She’s adorable.” Channing crouches down in front of Tobin’s chair, running the back of her finger down Olivia’s arm. 

She squeezes Tobin’s arm before standing up, accepting the fact that she wouldn't be able to hug Tobin without waking her sleeping niece. 

Channing moves over to Christen’s bed as they all take it in turns, hugging her sister tightly. “You did so good, Chris. So, so good!” 

Tobin stands up when she sees that there aren’t any more chairs, letting Isaac sit down on hers as Tyler lifts Lucas onto her knees. 

Isaac looks over at Olivia with a questioning look, as Tobin kneels in front of his chair. 

“Do you want to hold her?” She wonders as Isaac nods, still unsure what to do. 

Tobin gently lays her down on his lap, staying in front of him and making sure Olivia is safe. 

“Here, bud.” Tobin begins as she takes Isaac’s arm and gently moves it. “You have to put your arm under her neck.” 

He follows Tobin’s instructions, trying his best to hold her carefully and making sure she won’t fall. 

When Lucas was born, Isaac was only one and a half years old, so he never held Lucas by himself. 

“Good job, Isaac!” Tobin whispers to him, watching as he looks over his cousin. 

“She’s tiny!” He speaks in a quiet voice, mumbling the words out. 

“Yeah, Olivia is tiny.” Tobin chuckles, nodding to confirm his statement. 

Isaac thinks over Tobin’s words, now remembering the name of his new cousin. “Owivia.” He mumbles, repeating the name as best as he can. 

He holds her for a couple of minutes until his arms get tired and Tobin lifts her from his lap again. She walks over to Fran, watching as the woman’s eyes light up with excitement when Olivia is placed into her arms. 

“Hello, Olivia.” Fran whispers with a wide smile. “I’m your great grandma, but that makes me sound really old, so you’re going to call me Grammy or Memaw like the boys do, okay?” 

Tobin smiles softly at her, walking over to Christen’s bed and sitting down next to her. 

They watch as Olivia gets passed around the room, everyone making conversation, which ends up with them mainly talking about Olivia. 

Fran falls more and more in love with the girl every time she looks at her, constantly trying to get her back and hold her again.

By the end of their visit, it’s been way longer than an hour and Mikel and Will even manage to come for a short visit after finishing work for the day. 

\-------

Christen has to stay over one more night, which results in Tobin squishing into her bed again. She’s not going to leave their side at any point, not for anything, so she makes sure she can stay. 

By the time Frankie comes into their room in the morning, Olivia has already been fed and cuddled up to Christen for a couple of hours. 

Tobin gently lifts Olivia up, taking her out of Christen’s arms so Frankie can check up on Christen and make sure everything is still looking good, so they can go home as planned. 

Afterwards, she announces that she has to do a physical exam on Olivia, to ensure that she’s doing well and that she will also be able to leave the hospital today. 

Tobin jokingly turns away from the friendly nurse, facing the other direction. “Did you hear that, Olivia? She’s trying to take you away from me!” 

Christen chuckles at her wife, her eyes looking at the nurse. “Good luck trying to get Tobin to pass her to you!” 

“I was the exact same way when my son was born!” Frankie laughs, remembering it all too well. “I’ve got to say, the mother look suits you guys.” 

She knows they’re two patients who she can make jokes with and talk a little less formal to, having seen the way they were talking to Dr Stoney when she was there during Christen’s labor. 

Tobin gives her a massive smile, before looking down at her little girl. Olivia is giving her curious eyes again, studying Tobin’s face as she lies in her mother’s arms. 

“She’s perfect!” Tobin gushes as she turns more towards the nurse, so Olivia is in Frankie's view, tilting her arms slightly. “Look at her! She’s perfect, isn’t she?” 

“Yeah, she is.” Frankie smiles at how much love the new mother already has for her daughter. “Do you want to come with me to do the exam?” 

Tobin turns around, looking back at Christen with a big smile and silently asking if Christen wants her to stay or go with Frankie. 

“Go, you dork!” Christen laughs at Tobin’s face, watching as Frankie moves towards Tobin. 

Before she’s able to reach her, Tobin turns away again. 

“Are you trying to take _my_ child?” She jokes as she raises an eyebrow. “Livvy, would you believe that she just tried to take you away from me?” 

“You did well with this one.” The nurse winks at Christen through her laughter. “I can tell she’s a keeper...and protective. I don’t think she’d let anyone hurt you two.” 

“She’s the best!” Christen smiles, watching as Tobin is way too busy with their daughter to pay any attention to what’s going on around her. 

Tobin turns to Frankie after a moment. “Alright, Olivia and I have come to the agreement that you can take her as long as I stay with you guys. I don’t think I’m very qualified to do a physical exam on a newborn, so we think it might be better for you to take over!” 

Christen and the nurse chuckle as they shake their heads. 

“Do you want to carry her on the way there?” Frankie offers, getting the answer she was looking for as Tobin gives her an eager nod. “Alright, come on then.” 

Tobin walks over to Christen, leaving a kiss on her lips and telling her she loves her, before following Frankie out the door. 

It’s not long before Olivia is back in Christen’s arms, getting fed as Frankie quickly leaves to get any paperwork she needs for Christen to be discharged. 

Christen gets changed into her own clothes, insisting on leaving the bed in an acceptable state by quickly making it, even though she knows the bedsheets will be changed the minute she leaves anyway. 

Frankie comes in with the discharge papers as Tobin finishes packing Christen’s bag, explaining that they have an hour to leave, even though they’re both more than ready to go home right away. 

Tobin had gone out earlier to grab the top of the car seat out of her car, after they’d already put a base in both of their cars a couple of weeks before Christen was due. 

Christen lies Olivia down inside of it, lifting it up by the handle so she can carry her to the car. 

\-------

Christen gets the baby seat out of the car, carrying it inside and trying not to wake their newborn up. 

She gently places it on the floor next to their sofa, hoping that Olivia stays asleep whilst they’re able to get everything organized downstairs. 

She admires her for a short moment, looking at what she’d created, before smiling to herself as she stands up. 

Tobin walks over from the kitchen table when Christen is on her feet again, opening her arms and letting the younger woman crash into them. 

“I feel disgusting and like I smell of the hospital.” Christen mumbles into her shoulder, “Am I okay to go and shower?” 

Tobin tightens her grip, “Of course you are.” 

They move out of their embrace, Christen about to walk towards the stairs when Tobin tugs on her hand, pulling her back. 

She leans in, kissing Christen deeply and slowly for a long moment. 

The kiss says everything Tobin needs it to say and when she sees Christen’s equally big smile as they pull away, she knows that Christen is aware of the meaning behind it too. 

Christen bites her lip, leaving another peck on Tobin’s lips, before grabbing her bag so she can put her clothes into the laundry basket and heading upstairs. 

Tobin quickly puts away everything she needs to, not wanting to leave anything out for them to tidy up later. 

She hears Olivia’s already familiar cry after a long moment, realizing the little girl must have woken up in between now and the last time she checked on her, which had only been a couple of seconds ago. 

Tobin takes the couple of steps to Olivia, crouching down and picking her up, so she can cradle Olivia in her arms. 

Tobin grabs one of the milk bottles they still have from the hospital, sitting down on a chair and feeding Olivia. When Olivia stops crying, happily drinking the milk, Tobin feels her thoughts and worries disappear. 

She’d be lying if she says that she hadn’t second guessed herself, questioning whether she’s going to know what to do and whether she’s going to do things right, but her nerves settle a little when Tobin sees that Olivia trusts her completely and is more than happy to have Tobin feed her. 

Tobin gently lifts Olivia up after, so her front is resting against Tobin’s own afterwards, making sure Olivia is upright so she can burp her. 

“You look so much like your Mommy already.” She realizes as she cradles Olivia again, leaving a kiss on her little button nose. “She did so well, didn’t she? Yes, she did.” 

She moves onto the sofa, sitting Olivia up against her knees and just talking to her, still trying to wrap her head around the fact that she’s a mother now. 

Olivia starts crying again a few minutes later and Tobin wrinkles her nose when she realizes why. 

She picks Olivia up, carrying her upstairs and into Olivia’s nursery. 

Tobin lays her down on the changing table and Olivia calms down after that, no longer crying from the mixture of Tobin’s soothing voice and having a fresh diaper on. 

“You know, I love you so much, Livvy, but your poop really stinks.” Tobin chuckles as she closes the diaper. 

She hears footsteps coming from the hallway, as they come closer and closer, until Christen is standing in the door frame of Olivia’s nursery. 

“Hey, you two.” She speaks softly, her wet curls hanging down past her shoulders, with Christen looking cozy in her sweats and one of the hoodies Tobin bought her whilst she was pregnant. 

Tobin doesn’t fail to notice the fact that Christen’s wedding band and engagement ring have made their way back onto her ring finger, now that the swelling in her hands has been going down again for a few days. 

“Hi, beautiful.” Tobin greets, watching as Christen leans down to kiss Olivia’s head, before wrapping her arms around Tobin from behind. 

“I see someone needed her nappy changing.” Christen hums as Tobin dresses Olivia again. 

She feels Tobin nod. “Olivia was hungry, so I fed her with one of the bottles of breastmilk we have.” 

Christen places a kiss on Tobin’s neck, reassuring her without Tobin even saying anything. “That’s a good idea. She needs to get used to both breastfeeding and bottle feeding anyway, so Nurse Frankie said it’s better to get her used to both right from the start, so we won’t have any feeding problems.” 

“Let’s go back downstairs.” Tobin suggests as she holds Olivia in her arms, carrying her over to the sofa. 

Christen grabs herself a glass of water, placing it on the coffee table and moves next to Tobin on the sofa. 

Tobin is lying on her back, with Olivia already being asleep on her chest. She has a light and protective arm around her, almost hovering it above Olivia’s body to make sure she doesn’t cause any discomfort in any way. 

Christen lets out a soft sigh, watching as Tobin gently lets her hand run up and down Olivia’s tiny back. She lies down next to Tobin, propping her head up with her elbow and now leaving any space between her and Tobin, just wanting to feel close to her wife. 

She smiles as she uses her finger to stroke the back of Olivia’s hand, taking in the tiny fingers. 

Christen moves her head so it’s hovering slightly above Tobin, grinning as she leans in to kiss her wife. 

“I love doing life with you, baby.” She mumbles against her lips as she pulls away. Christen moves down and tucks herself into Tobin, resting her head in her neck and placing her hand right next to Olivia’s, smiling when she feels tiny fingers grip around her finger. 

Christen’s sore and still in a little pain when she moves, but she’s so content right now that she can’t even begin to think about that. 

Tobin wraps her free arm around Christen, soothingly running her hand along Christen’s back under her shirt. 

“I’ll stay awake and look after her in case she wakes up, Chris. You must be exhausted, get some rest, babe!” Tobin suggests, wanting Christen to rest and recover from the past twenty-four hours. 

Christen hums quietly, already closing her eyes and drifting to sleep. 

_My life really is perfect with my two girls here._ Tobin thinks to herself as she hears Christen’s breath even out. 

She lets both of them sleep, lying there with a small smile on her face the whole time, as Christen and Olivia nap together in the arms of their favorite person. 

Olivia eventually wakes up just over an hour later, deciding she’s hungry and Christen should wake up to feed her. 

\-------

Christen and Tobin lie in bed that night, with Olivia fast asleep and the baby monitor on Tobin’s nightstand. 

Tobin has already checked the baby monitor a million and one times, ensuring it’s on and that the volume is up, even though both bedroom doors are open, so they’d be able to her Olivia even if the baby monitor wouldn’t be working. 

Christen just smiles softly as she watches Tobin turn around and stare at the monitor, as if she’s making sure that no one is going to take Olivia. 

“Baby, she’s fine!” Christen chuckles, gently trying to tug Tobin back so she’ll lie down. “Come here, she’s okay.” 

“I have to make sure she’s happy.” Tobin insists and Christen reaches past Tobin, picking up the baby monitor from Tobin’s nightstand. She holds it up between them. 

“Look, she’s fast asleep.” Christen announces softly as she shows her the image of Olivia, as if Tobin hasn’t been staring at it for the past five minutes. 

“I can’t believe she’s ours.” She gushes, her heart melting a little at the thought. “She’s our little girl.” 

Christen kisses Tobin’s head, but Tobin still gives her an unsure look. “Are you sure she’s okay?” 

“She is! She’d be making herself known if she wasn’t.” Christen points out as she gives her a firm nod. “Come here, let’s just cuddle and go to sleep.” 

“Just-” Tobin holds up her finger, pulling the covers back and patting out of the room. She walks up to Olivia’s door frame, looking over to her crib and seeing that the girl is in fact asleep, just like the monitor has been showing and just like Christen has been telling her. 

Tobin walks back into their room, climbing under the covers again as Christen chuckles at Tobin being able to rest her mind now. 

“Thank you for giving me everything I’ve ever wanted - having you, having Olivia, and us being a family is more than I could have ever asked for!” Tobin kisses Christen with teary eyes, explaining to her just _how much_ she loves her. 

“Since when are you the sappy one in this marriage?” Christen laughs, knowing that she’s always the one to bring out the teary eyed confessions and create cheesy moments between them. 

Tobin laughs now too, leaning in for another kiss. “I just feel so full of love.” She admits and Christen can’t do anything but agree with that. 

“Remember that when we have to get up in the crazy hours of the night.” Christen jokes, already knowing that they both won’t mind for the most part, even if it’ll tire them out over the months. They’d both say they’re pretty patient people and it’s not like a baby waking up throughout the night is something unexpected that they hadn’t seen coming. 

“I’m so exhausted.” Christen sighs as she thinks over the last couple of days in her head. She’s already feeling upset over the fact Tobin won’t be with them all day tomorrow. 

She drops her head onto Tobin’s shoulder, nuzzling into her neck and tangling their legs together so Christen’s is in between Tobin’s. 

Christen feels so peaceful, finally being able to nuzzle into Tobin again without her pregnant balloon-sized belly being in the way, instead only a little bump left. 

“I know.” Tobin runs her hands through Christen’s hair, thinking about just how much her body has gone through and encouraging Christen to fall asleep. “Go to sleep, babe.” 

\-------

Tobin and Christen wake up to the sound of Tobin’s alarm, both groaning out of annoyance as Tobin hits the snooze button. 

As soon as silence fills the room again, Tobin rolls back over, hiding her face in Christen’s neck and refusing to move. 

She moves her toes, not having enough energy to move any other part of the body, and tries to wake herself up. 

Unsurprisingly, the small movement doesn’t work and she just ends up shuffling closer to Christen, playing with the dangerous line of falling asleep again in her wife’s arms. 

Tobin knows that she shouldn’t close her eyes again, even for a second, because she’ll just end up in deep sleep again. 

Olivia knows that her mother has to go to work though, even if she’ll later find out that she much prefers it when Tobin is around, so she decides to make herself known and force her parents to wake up. 

They both stretch their bodies through a yawn, getting out of bed as Christen leaves to tend to Olivia, whilst Tobin tries to make her way into the shower. 

When Tobin walks back out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around herself, she’s met with Christen being tucked back under the covers. Olivia is now lying on Christen’s chest, her wife’s hand gently rubbing Olivia’s back. 

Tobin quickly gets dressed, lying down on top of the covers once she’s ready and draping an arm over Christen and Olivia. 

“I don’t want to go to work.” Tobin sighs with disappointment, leaning up to kiss Olivia’s head. “I want to stay at home, with you two.” 

“You’ll be back home before you know it.” Christen mentions as she kisses Tobin, knowing that she wants her to stay home just as badly. 

When Tobin gets up again, accepting the fact that she can’t stay here all day, Christen and Olivia follow her.

“Chris, do you want me to make you something?” Tobin wonders as she puts a bagel in the toaster for herself, looking over at her wife. 

“Thank, baby, but I’ll just eat next time Olivia is asleep.” Christen doesn’t feel very hungry right now and Olivia is lying in her arms anyway, but if today goes anything like the past few days since Olivia was born, then she’ll be asleep again for a little while in a couple of hours. 

Tobin nods, spreading some cream cheese over her bagel and sitting down opposite Christen. 

Olivia is looking around, being able to see both of her parents from the way she’s lying in Christen’s arms. 

Tobin chuckles when Olivia moves and stretches her short limbs, almost kicking Christen in the face. 

“She’s always trying to figure out what’s going on.” Tobin points when she sees Olivia look over in her direction again. 

“Right now, she’s trying to figure out why Mama is getting ready to leave her and Mommy, when we want her to stay.” Christen jokes, making Tobin pout with a frown. “I want to stay too.” 

She looks back down at her daughter, inspecting Olivia’s eyes. 

“I love that she has hazel eyes! They look just like yours.” Christen points out next. She’s loved Tobin’s eyes since the minute she saw them and funnily enough, she sees so much similarity in Tobin and Olivia’s eyes. 

“I should get going.” Tobin announces unhappily as she checks the time, putting her dishes away and grabbing her MacBook, so she can pack it in her bag. 

“I love you.” She mumbles against Christen’s lips as she gives her a kiss. “And I love you.” Tobin repeats those words as she kisses Olivia’s head. 

Olivia stretches her arm out in that moment, accidentally getting her finger tangled in Tobin’s hair. 

Christen and Tobin both start laughing, as Christen points out that she’ll just have to stay at home because she’s unable to leave now. 

Tobin leans down to kiss Olivia’s nose this time, gently pulling Olivia’s hand out of her hair. 

“We love you, baby.” Christen tells her as Tobin grabs her car keys, making her way to the front door. 

“I love you both too.” Tobin returns as she waves, reluctantly taking another step. 

“Have a good day and we’ll see you tonight!” Christen calls out just before Tobin walks out of the door. 

A smile is plastered on Tobin’s face as she gets into her car, thinking about the fact that the sooner she starts her day, the sooner she’ll get to be home again. 

\-------

Christen tilts her head down as soon as Olivia starts crying, gently bouncing the girl in her arms in an attempt to soothe her. 

“I don’t think it’s fair that Mama has to go to work either, Livvy.” Christen chuckles at the timing of Olivia’s cries, standing up from her chair. “Alright, let’s go and change your diaper.” 

She holds Olivia afterwards, cuddling her on the chair in Olivia’s nursery until she falls asleep, knowing the little girl is tired from not getting much sleep last night. 

Christen lays her down in her crib, before grabbing the baby monitor and heading into her bathroom. She props the baby monitor up on the sink, so she can see it whilst she quickly takes a shower, before brushing her teeth and then rummaging through her draws for some comfortable clothes. 

She digs out one of Tobin’s hoodies, pulling it over her nursing bra and smiling as her wife’s familiar scent hits her. 

Christen leaves to go back down the stairs and into the kitchen, making herself some breakfast and having a quick chance to eat it and put her dishes away before Olivia wakes up again. 

“Do you know what we should do, Livvy?” Christen gets an idea when Olivia is wide awake after being fed and having her diaper changed again. “Should we meet Granny and Grandad?” 

She grabs her phone from the coffee table next to the sofa, selecting Cindy’s contact and FaceTime her.

Christen hasn’t had another chance to talk to her since they left the hospital, since she just wanted to spend some quality time with Tobin and Olivia yesterday, before Tobin returned back to work today. 

They hadn’t FaceTimed Cindy at the hospital either, simply exchanging a few texts and realizing that Cindy was out for lunch with her friends, by the time the Press family ended up leaving the hospital again. 

“Hi, sweetheart!” Cindy smiles at Christen as soon as she answers the call, always looking forward to hearing from the curly-haired woman. 

“Hey, Cindy!” Christen greets in return. “Are you busy right now?”

“I’m never too busy to talk to you!” She shakes her head, clearly moving to sit down at her kitchen table. “I was just reading my book on the beach, but I’ve got more than enough time for that later!” 

“Great!” Christen smiles happily. “You see, someone wanted to meet her grandma, so I thought I should call you whilst she’s awake.” 

She tilts the phone down, angling it so both her and Olivia are in the frame. 

Olivia is too busy playing with the fingers on Christen’s other hand to notice anything. 

“Oh, Chris!” Cindy’s eyes immediately tear up and she melts at the sight of her granddaughter. “I’m counting down the days until I can hold her.” 

“Only four more!” Christen smiles, as Cindy dives into gushing over Olivia and asking Christen questions about her hospital stay. 

“At least I didn’t break Tobin’s hand during labor.” Christen teases in the middle of their conversation, referring to Cindy once telling her that she broke Jeff’s hand when she gave birth to Perry. 

Cindy bursts out laughing, recalling that moment too. 

“Speaking of Tobin, where is she?” Cindy wonders, having noticed that Tobin wasn’t there but being too caught up in conversation to ask Christen. 

She bites her lip, knowing that Cindy isn’t going to be happy about this at all. “At work.” 

“At work?” Cindy’s eyebrows furrow with confusion. 

Christen knows that so far, all of the Heath family stayed at home for their maternity and paternity leaves. They hadn’t told Cindy this and she’d simply assumed that Christen and Tobin would be doing the same, seeing as most people she knows have made sure they can stay home with their child and partner during at least the first weeks, if not months. 

In fact, Alex and Servando had done the same. 

All of Christen’s male colleagues, who she’s worked with over her years at Mira Costa High School, were able to take time off and have quite a few weeks worth of paternity leave. So it definitely made Christen raise an eyebrow when the Education Leaders of California wouldn’t let Tobin and her do the same, and Kristie certainly wasn’t pleased, but she knew that the right decision was to stay silent and have the security of both of them having a job to return to. 

She wouldn’t risk her job like that, especially if it could cause her difficulty finding a new one in California. 

They definitely can’t afford to be unemployed with a newborn. 

It took a few weeks of Christen meditating on it to come to terms with this, but she knows that she’s lucky to have Tobin there when she isn’t working and the fact that summer break starts soon is a bonus too. 

She can’t wait to have three whole months worth of bonding time with her little family. 

“But you just gave birth a couple of days ago!” Cindy follows up from her shocked question, trying to confirm that she heard Christen correctly. 

“I know!” Christen frowns, beginning to dive into the story of why. “She didn’t want to go to work, but she had to.”

“I don’t understand. Does she not have the option of maternity leave too?” She wonders, tilting her head. “Surely, if your _husband_ would be able to have paternity leave - if you would have married a man - then your wife should have maternity leave.”

“Nope, she didn’t.” She lets out a sigh, deciding to explain the situation to Cindy. “They basically told us that either we both have unpaid leave or I’m the only one that gets maternity leave. They said Tobin could refuse to go to work, but then she wouldn’t have a job to return to.”

“We were going to say something, we really were, and we seriously considered it, but it’s not worth it. It’s not worth arguing with them, because we knew we wouldn’t get what we wanted anyway and if we get on the wrong side with them, we could have both lost our job and then have to move away to get a new one.” Christen explains as she continues talking. 

“Tobin and I both love our job here, our friends, where we live and the area so much, we wouldn’t want to move. I don’t know what the future holds, so maybe we will one day, but not right now.” She finishes off her thoughts, before allowing Cindy to chip in her own opinion. “And we _really_ can’t afford not having a job, especially now that we have this little munchkin to look after too.” 

“I get that, I know how much both of you love it in LA and at your school.” Cindy agrees with what Christen said, trying to remain calm and get a further explanation. “And you’re right, you can’t afford to lose your jobs, whether that’s with or without Olivia.” 

“Who decided this? I don’t understand.” She wonders, assuming it must have been Kristie. “I thought you’re both friends with the principal at your school?” 

“Yeah, she’s one of our closest friends, who you met at our wedding.” Christen confirms Cindy’s thoughts, realizing that she’s assuming Kristie gets to decide this. “This is beyond her though and out of her hands. Basically, she can discuss all of this with Tobin and I, but she has to get the _okay_ from one of the Education Leaders of California before it’s finalized.”

“So they’re the ones that said no?” Cindy tries to keep up, making notes in her head. 

“Yep, they’re the ones that wouldn’t let us and Kristie tried to compromise or get them to give us both a paid maternity leave, as they should, but she didn’t stand a chance.” She shrugs, looking down at her daughter and letting Olivia’s presence calm her. 

“I just don’t understand why!” She shakes her head, looking at Christen for answers and hoping it isn’t the obvious one. 

Christen doesn’t have a different answer for her apart from the one Cindy expected though. “Because we’re two women, who are married and having a child together.” 

“That’s- that’s ridiculous.” Cindy scoffs right away. “It doesn’t change the fact that Tobin is your child’s mother.” 

“I know.” She agrees in an instant. “Tobin is Olivia’s parents as much as I am! We felt the exact same way when we realized that’s why, especially since our friends, Alex and Servando, were able to get maternity and paternity leave when they had their son.” 

“You know, one of my friends was talking about something similar the other day, when we went out for lunch.” Cindy scoffs, recalling a conversation she recently had. “Her sister’s step daughter has a wife, whom she has two kids with, and they get the _who’s the father_ and the _only one of you is the mother to your kids_ all of the time. It’s disgusting, Chris.”

“Who do they think is going to raise your kid and make them feel loved and cared for?” Cindy says in disbelief. “Olivia certainly won’t raise herself and she doesn’t need a father in the household to have two parents. You are Olivia’s mother and Tobin is Olivia’s mother - she doesn’t need anyone else.” 

“Not everyone is going to see it that way though.” Christen has seen things like these so many times, whether it’s something that happened to her or her reading about someone else’s experiences, that she isn’t surprised or shocked anymore. “When people want to, they just think way too much about the scientific facts, and decide that we’re not her parents.” 

“Of course they do. I think it’s bullshit when people even mention the sperm donor, because yes I appreciate him a lot and he enabled you to have my granddaughter the way you wanted to, but it’s done. You don’t personally know him, and you never will. He’s never going to be involved in Olivia’s life and he’s not the father.” Christen, who’s been calm this whole time, can see that Cindy’s frustration is growing. “When will people understand that a mother or a father goes beyond who shares a DNA with that child? It's about who can give them everything they need and more, just by loving them and caring for them in the way that they deserve.” 

“People can say what they want as much as they like, but at the end of the day, it’s not going to change the fact that Tobin is Olivia’s mother, that she has full legal parental rights, and that it’s mine and her name on Olivia’s birth certificate.” Christen nods along to Cindy’s words, leaving a kiss on Olivia’s head. “Right, Livvy? You love your Mama so much.”

“I’m so done with people deciding to get involved in things that simply aren’t any of their business and then deciding they know everything about someone else’s life. They shouldn’t even think beyond the fact that she’s lucky enough to have two parents, who love her and each other.” She lets out a deep sigh, so Christen tries to slowly move them away from the topic again. 

“I know, I’m done with it too.” Christen gives her a nod, knowing she can’t do anything but agree with that point. “But don’t let them work you up, Cindy! It’s not worth it. I don’t let it get to me, so you shouldn’t let it get to you either.” 

“It does get to me though.” Cindy’s voice is calmer now, as she takes Christen’s words to heart. “I want to protect the people I love and it’s not fair.” 

“What is it that you always say to me? You always have to look at the positive side of things.” She raises her eyebrow, encouraging Cindy to think that way now. “It’s not ideal, but we’re all here, we’re all healthy, this little sunshine is in our lives now, and summer break starts a few days after Tobin’s birthday, so then we’ll get to spend every second of three whole months together.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Cindy agrees with her, propping her head up on her fist. “And I get to spend lots of time with my granddaughter over the next few months!” 

She’s referring to the fact that her and Jeff will be flying out to California next week and staying for a few days, before having to fly back to volunteer at an event in their town. Afterwards, they’ll be flying back to California again over Tobin’s birthday, just to return a month later, when the whole family is going to be there. 

They don’t usually do anything for the fourth of July, at least not all together as a family. Normally, they’ll all just celebrate whilst keeping it low-key. 

This year, they decided they’ll all fly out to California for a week and get together for some family time, giving everyone else the opportunity to meet Olivia too. 

Maybe Katie, James, Ellie and Jake will be there over Tobin’s birthday weekend too, but that’s a secret Christen is trying hard to keep right now. 

“I’m really glad Tobin’s birthday is at a weekend this year.” Christen thinks out loud, knowing that summer break is starting the week after Tobin’s birthday and that she’ll feel like she’s missing out if she’s at work that day. “I know that she’s so excited to spend her birthday around Olivia and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her _this_ excited for it before.” 

“It’ll do her good.” She agrees with what Christen just said. “Spending time with you and Olivia, as a family, is something that Tobin will love more than spending her time on anything else. She’s such a family person.”

Christen smiles when she thinks of her wife. “A family person with the biggest heart.” 

They eventually reach the end of their FaceTime call, also having had a chance to quickly speak to Jeff. 

Christen opens up her text messages, searching for her and Tobin’s thread, before selecting a screenshot of her and Olivia FaceTiming Cindy, as well as a selfie of Olivia and herself. 

**Chris :** _image x2_

 **Chris :** We miss our favorite person 😘

**Tobs :** I can’t wait to come home to my two girls. 

And Tobin really means that. 

When she arrives at home a couple of hours later, Christen looks so happy to see her that Tobin could cry of happiness. 

Christen had stalled in the kitchen when she heard Tobin come in, standing there with Olivia in her arms. 

Tobin drops her bags and takes her shoes off, almost running across the room to make her way over to Christen and Olivia. 

“Hey, baby.” Christen greets as she leans in to kiss Tobin. 

Tobin leans down to leave a kiss on Olivia’s forehead afterwards. “Hey, Livvy.” 

“I fed her not so long ago, so I was just about to try and put her down for a nap.” She explains to her wife, Olivia having been awake for quite a few hours whilst Christen and her were busy playing, so she knows the girl is bound to be tired by now. 

“Can I hold her?” Tobin wonders and Christen can’t help but chuckle. 

“What? Can I not?” Tobin looks so small in that moment, looking at Christen with nothing but vulnerability in her eyes, that Christen can’t stop herself from leaning forwards and kissing Tobin. 

“Baby, she’s your daughter. You never have to ask if you can hold her!” Christen explains her reason behind laughing, before she ends up upsetting Tobin. “She’s our little girl, who’s missed you a lot over the past few hours, by the way.” 

“But she’s so precious and small and-” Tobin stops herself from rambling as she looks down at Olivia. 

Christen smiles at her wife, knowing exactly how she feels. There’s always this small moment of hesitation that she feels, where she wonders if she should be asking for permission to pick up her own child, because it doesn’t feel like she should have something so special. 

She moves closer, passing Olivia over to Tobin. 

Her wife lightly bounces Olivia in her arms, in an attempt to rock her to sleep. 

Just like she did at the hospital on her first night, Olivia yawns, curling up a little more in Tobin’s arms and closing her eyes. 

Christen’s heart contracts as she sees it happen, resting her chin on Tobin’s shoulder from behind, and looking down at the body in Tobin’s arm. 

“Okay, now that’s the most adorable thing I’ve witnessed in my life!” Christen reaches her arm around, brushing her hand through Olivia’s short hair. “This still doesn’t feel real, I still can’t believe we’re parents.” 

“Oh, it feels very real when I have to hold my breath whilst changing her diapers.” Tobin leans back into Christen, feeling Christen’s arms wrap a little tighter around her waist. 

“It doesn’t smell _that_ bad.” Christen claims, trying to make it sound as if Tobin is exaggerating. 

Tobin just gives her a look though, turning slightly in her arms so she can see Christen’s face. 

“Okay, fine. It does smell that bad.” Christen gives in, having thought Tobin’s point over, as they both start laughing. 

Tobin stays there a little longer, not moving out of Christen’s arms and not moving Olivia in her own arms. She just wants to treasure these moments and never forget how she feels in this moment. 

Eventually, when her arms start getting tired, Tobin carries Olivia upstairs, lying her down in her crib and grabbing the baby monitor. 

By the time Tobin walks back into the kitchen after getting changed into more comfortable clothes, she spots Christen resting against the kitchen island, scrolling through something on her phone. 

Tobin walks up to Christen, dropping her arms on Christen’s shoulders and making her look up from her phone. 

Christen just puts it to the side, holding onto Tobin’s hips. 

She pulls Tobin’s body in closer to hers, slightly tightening the hold she has on her and pulling her into a kiss. 

They get lost in the feeling of each other, Christen deepening the kiss when she slots her tongue into Tobin’s mouth. 

It’s slow and soft and delicate, and everything it needs to be. It’s showing just how much they mean to each other. 

They don’t pull away until they have to reluctantly leave some space between each other to breathe, but by then all of the air is already sucked out of their lungs. 

Tobin and Christen catch their breath, leaving a number of pecks on the others lips before the older woman starts talking. 

“How are you?” Tobin questions now that they have a moment alone, kissing Christen’s forehead. “Was everything okay today?” 

“Yeah, everything went well.” Christen nods lightly. “I managed to shower and eat whilst Liv was napping this morning, and then she was downstairs the whole time, up until now. We FaceTimed your mom, whilst Olivia was busy playing with my fingers and then eating them, since apparently they’re more interesting than her pacifier-” 

“Not your fingers! I still need those.” Tobin huffs as she narrows her eyes. “I can’t believe my daughter is only three days old and already cockblocking me.” 

Christen bursts out laughing, shaking her head at Tobin. 

“I would love to be inside your brain for a day and just see what goes through your mind.” She chuckles, thinking back to the countless number of times Tobin comes out with random sentences and thoughts that are just such a Tobin thing to say. 

“It’s not all that interesting.” Tobin shrugs, knowing she normally forgets what she says a few minutes later anyway. Things like that drive Christen mad and frustrated to no end sometimes, when she tells Tobin something important and the woman will accidentally forget it a few hours later. “I can promise that there’s nothing wise going on in there, so it would be _way_ too boring for you.” 

“I love your brain.” Christen shakes her head, shutting Tobin’s comment down right away. “I love hearing your thoughts and opinions, and I’m so lucky to have you share those with me.” 

She gives her an appreciative smile, before coming up with an accurate representation of her thought process. 

“It’s pretty much just me thinking about how beautiful you are, how lucky I am to be your wife, how much I love you, how much I love Olivia, some random soccer or art thoughts, how I miss our family and wondering how they’re doing, and now how much I can’t wait to get home to you and Olivia.” 

“And then some inappropriate thoughts in between that are going to stay in here.” Tobin taps her head and Christen rolls her eyes, not even sure if she would want to know any of those. Although she’s all too aware that she has her fair share of those thoughts too. 

“I can’t even begin to think about having sex with how sore my perineum is right now.” Christen thinks out loud, watching as Tobin gives her a sympathetic look, before reaching up and caressing Christen’s cheek. 

“Then don’t think about it.” Tobin stroke her thumb across Christen’s cheek, trying to keep her from thinking about anything that might make the soreness and pain worse. “You have all the time in the world to think of that once you’re ready to again, but in the meantime, I’m here for all of the cuddles and kisses and anything else you want.” 

Christen gives her a grateful and adoring smile, before continuing. “What was I talking about?” 

“Your day.” She brings them back to their original conversation. 

“Oh, yeah. I read her a book afterwards, because it’s never too early to do that, right?” Christen questions, to which Tobin agrees. “I mean, she fell asleep, so I’m guessing it worked. And I know that she should always nap in her crib, so she won’t develop any sleeping issues, but she was just so cute and comfortable, so I let her nap in my arms instead.”

Tobin laughs at how much of a Christen move that is, knowing she would have done the exact same if she were in Christen’s position. 

“She ate a few times and needed a few diaper changes in between, but that’s all.” Christen finishes recalling their day. 

“I’m glad you had some time to rest.” Her voice is soft and soothing. “How are you feeling apart from your perineum soreness?” 

Christen shrugs as she lets out a deep breath. “Considering it’s only been three days since I gave birth, not too bad. I’ve got a headache and afterpains, and breastfeeding still hurts pretty badly but I think I figured out some better positions today, so hopefully it’ll start hurting less soon. That’s all though, so nothing major.” 

“How are your afterpains? Are they any better than yesterday?” She goes through a list in her head, trying to check up on Christen and remember how her wife said she was feeling the previous night. 

“They’re not bad anymore.” Christen nods her head, recalling how she felt throughout the day. “I think they’ll probably be fully gone within the next couple of days. I haven’t really felt them today.”

“What about your headaches?” Tobin tries to find out how bad they are, wanting to check if they’re anything to worry about, as she remembers reading that severe ones could be due to an underlying problem, an infection, or even increase the risk of Christen having a stroke. 

She’s sure it won’t be anything near that bad and she knows that just because they have to tell her all of the possible outcomes of symptoms, doesn’t mean that the worst will end up happening, but she’d rather check five hundred times than be sorry and never forgive herself. 

“Do you feel faint or dizzy?” She follows up before Christen even has the chance to respond. 

Christen shakes her head as Tobin holds the back of her hand up to her wife’s forehead, trying to feel how warm the younger woman is and feeling relieved to know that she doesn’t seem to have a fever. 

“Sure?” Tobin double check, earning a nod from Christen. 

Tobin pulls the woman in all the way, holding her close as she leaves a kiss on her head. 

Christen nuzzles into her, closing her eyes and feeling Tobin’s hand run through her hair, lightly massaging her head.

“By the way, nice hoodie!” Tobin chuckles as she holds Christen. 

She just nuzzles further into her, keeping her eyes closed. “It smells like you.” Christen smiles as she responds. 

They end up on the sofa together, quietly talking about Tobin’s first day back. 

“Can we go for a little walk?” Christen suddenly requests in a moment of silence, lifting her head up from Tobin’s arm. “Please?”

“Chris-” She hesitantly responds. “Are you sure your body is okay with that?” 

“It’ll do me good and we don’t have to go far.” Christen gives her an assuring nod. “Maybe we can just go around the block, towards the main road and then along the beach walk, back to our house?” 

“Okay, if you’re sure.” Tobin agrees, knowing it might be nice for Christen to catch some fresh air and walk a little further. 

“It’ll be Olivia’s first time in her pushchair, so we’ll have to see how she likes that.” She chuckles as Christen stands up from the sofa. 

Olivia is still asleep, in the middle of napping, so Tobin walks into her nursery as Christen grabs herself some shoes and gets the pushchair out of the garage. 

She picks Olivia up from her crib, expecting her to wake up like she usually does, and being surprised to find her staying asleep. 

Tobin gently lays her in the pushchair as Christen helps her, making sure the sun won’t be on Olivia once they go outside. 

“What have you done to our daughter?” Tobin chuckles as they both give each other an impressed look when Olivia remains silent, eyes still closed. “I think she’s broken.” 

“She was awake for quite a while today, probably the longest she’s been awake yet, so she’ll be exhausted.” Christen looks down at the girl in the pushchair, sleeping peacefully. 

They walk around the block, Tobin pushing the pushchair as Christen strolls beside them, enjoying the fresh air and sunlight. 

Christen realizes how good it feels, to get out of the house again and be in the sun for a little while, although she knows that she wouldn’t make it any further than this. She already feels exhausted by the time they make it back home, it being the furthest she’s walked since giving birth. 

Olivia wakes up as they make their way back down their road and towards their house, squirming and whimpering a little in her unfamiliar surroundings. 

Tobin talking to her seems to work for a little while, calming her, until she starts crying when Tobin picks her up once they’re inside. 

\-------

Tobin impresses herself when she wakes up way before her alarm the next morning. 

Maybe not _way_ before her alarm, more like exactly thirteen minutes before her alarm, but it’s a lot earlier than she would usually wake up. 

Christen is still fast asleep, and so is Olivia, who hadn’t slept well at all the previous night. 

She struggled falling asleep in between her feeding times, which resulted in Christen and Tobin getting up more than a few times to try and soothe her, when the screaming and crying just wouldn’t stop and it was too painful for them to leave her by herself. 

She can’t bring herself to wake Christen up, knowing the younger woman had even less sleep than her as she insisted on Tobin getting some rest before work. 

Instead, Tobin gets up as quietly as she can, showering and getting dressed. 

Once she’s ready, double checking that she has everything and won’t have to return to their bedroom, Tobin walks over to Christen’s side of the bed. 

She kneels down in front of it, gently brushing the baby hairs out of Christen’s face and caressing her cheek, trying not to wake her wife up. 

Tobin stands up, leaning down to kiss Christen’s head, before heading out of the room. 

She checks in on Olivia next, smiling softly from the door frame as she sees that the young girl is still fast asleep in her crib. 

Tobin can’t help but think about the love she has for Christen and Olivia as she heads into the kitchen. 

Christen wakes up long after Tobin is gone, surprised to wake up to a quiet house. 

She immediately notices that Tobin isn’t in bed anymore, feeling how cold the sheets are and missing the arms she’s usually wrapped in. 

Christen groans, pulling the duvet up to her nose as if it would bring her the same warmth. She shouldn’t be surprised to find out that it unfortunately doesn’t. 

She rolls over onto Tobin’s side, deciding to lie on her pillow instead, when she’s met with a note. 

Christen unfolds it, opening her eyes a little wider to read what it says. 

_Good morning, babe. I hope you slept well! I love you both so much and I can’t wait to spend the whole weekend with my loves._

_P.s. you look so cute!_

Christen nuzzles her head further into Tobin’s pillow, mumbling to herself as she looks at Olivia through the baby monitor. “I’m so lucky.” 

\-------

“How’s Chris today?” Alex wonders as they all sit in the office, waiting for the first lesson to come around, so they can start their work day. 

“I don’t actually know.” Tobin shrugs, not knowing how else to respond. “They were both still asleep when I left, so I didn’t want to wake Christen, since Olivia was finally getting some sleep.” 

Julie spins around in her chair, joining the conversation. “Is she a bad sleeper?” 

“I mean, she’s a newborn, Jules.” Tobin and Alex both laugh at Julie’s question. “But apart from last night, she’s been quite good with sleeping so far. Her sleeping schedule could definitely be a lot worse!” 

“She must get her good scheduling from Christen.” Alex jokes, making Tobin laugh in agreement. 

Her phone lights up in that moment, as Alex and Julie dive into a conversation of their own. 

**Chris :** I love you, baby 

**Tobs :** I love you too

**Chris :** Why didn’t you wake me? I would have sat downstairs with you for breakfast and kept you some company. You didn’t have to spend the morning by yourself! 

**Tobs :** Liv was still asleep and you needed some rest too, babe. 

**Chris :** I don’t want you to think any of that changes because we have a child though. I still want to sit with you in the mornings and have breakfast together, whether Liv is sleeping or not. 

**Tobs :** I know, babe. That won’t ever change, I promise. 

**Tobs :** It’s been an exciting and hard few days for you and your body though, so you need all the rest you can get for you to recover. You’ll be waking up again at your usual time before you know it, but for now, treasure the time where you can sleep and don’t have to go to work. 

**Chris :** Hey, by the way just fyi, I sleep a lot better when I’m in your arms. 

**Tobs :** Glad to be at your service! 😉

**Chris :** I’m rolling my eyes, you just can’t see it through the phone. 

\-------

Throughout the day, Christen decides that she feels a lot better today and wants to leave the house for a little while. 

Instead of going for another walk around the block, she texts Tobin with an idea instead and arranges to meet her in the parking lot of their school just before Tobin starts the soccer practice. 

Their friends aren’t supposed to meet Olivia until tomorrow, since the past couple of days have just been Christen and Tobin trying to adjust to Tobin being back at work and Christen looking after Olivia by herself. 

Their friends have all been busy too, so they’d decided that Saturday was the perfect time for them to come over. 

That was until Christen had the idea of stopping by towards the end of Tobin’s work day.

Tyler drops her off in the parking lot, needing to travel that way anyway and still having the base for a car seat in her car, saving Christen a lot of hassle. 

Tobin meets Christen in the parking lot, quickly greeting Tyler as well, before making their way inside. 

Tobin opens the office door, knowing that Nicole, Julie and Alex will all still be in there, before heading off to start practice, telling them that she’ll be back afterwards. 

Julie’s jaw drops with awe as soon as she spots the sleeping girl. 

Christen slowly puts the infant seat on Tobin’s desk, trying not to stir her daughter out of her sleep. 

Before she’s even able to turn around, she feels Julie’s arms wrap around her shoulders. 

“Oh my god!” Julie whispers as she squeezes Christen. “She’s even cuter in person.” 

Alex walks over too, tightly hugging Christen before standing next to Olivia. 

“Can I hold her?” Alex asks, not wanting to move closer if Christen doesn’t want her to. 

“Of course you can!” Christen nods, unbuckling the small seatbelt and lifting Olivia out of the seat, passing her on to Alex. 

She turns around, realizing that Nicole is also in the room and she hasn’t had a chance to speak to her yet. 

“Hey, I’m Christen!” She greets, simply inviting her into a short hug before she can think twice about it.

“I’m Nicole!” The woman responds, stepping into the hug. “I’ve heard _so much_ about you.” 

“All good things, I hope.” Christen gives her a slightly skeptical look, mostly joking as she knows they wouldn’t be saying anything negative. 

“Oh, yeah.” Nicole chuckles as she thinks about the amount of times Christen has come up in conversations. “Tobin has told me so much about you that I feel like I’ve known you for years.” 

“Chris, that woman adores you so much!” Julie chips into the conversation, knowing all too well how proud Tobin is to show Christen off and talk about her. 

Christen looks up at Julie, giving her a curious look. 

“Tobin was showing pictures of Olivia to any teacher that would stop to look yesterday.” She chuckles as she recalls. “I don’t think there’s been a single second where she has stopped talking about how much she loves both of you and how proud she is.” 

Christen blushes, about to respond when Kristie and Kelley walk through the door. 

“Auntie Kelley has arrived!” She announces quietly as she enters the office. 

Her eyes scan the room, finding Christen first. 

She walks up to her friend right away, crashing into a hug. 

Kelley holds on for a long moment, not loosening her grip on Christen and just trying to keep her emotions in check.

She walks over to Alex afterwards, just wanting to take a first look at Olivia, but Alex lays the young girl in Kelley’s arms instead. 

She knows how much this means to Kelley and she’d never want to get in the way of that moment. 

Kelley looks down at Olivia with a silent stream of tears, leaning down to leave a kiss on the girl’s forehead. 

Christen watches her with a smile, feeling so blessed to have Kelley by her side for so many years now. She couldn’t imagine anyone ever replacing her friend’s role in her life. 

“I’m going to spoil you so much, Livvy.” Kelley whispers as she looks up at Christen with a smirk. “You’re so lucky to have the best moms...and godmother.” 

Christen chuckles at that, shaking her head. “Who? Tyler?” 

“What? No!” Kelley starts laughing at Christen’s teasing. “Liv, did you hear that? You need to tell her that I’m your favorite godmother. It’s never too early to know that I come first and Tyler comes second.” 

“Can Liv and I go and visit Tobin?” Kelley wonders after Olivia had been passed around the room and gushed over, not wanting to do anything without Christen’s consent. 

“Go for it.” Christen shrugs, not minding and knowing that she can trust Kelley with Olivia. “Just make sure she doesn’t get any soccer balls in the face.” 

“She won’t!” Kelley chuckles, waiting as Alex opens the door for her, so she can carry Olivia to the soccer pitch. 

“How does being auntie Kelley look on me?” She questions just loud enough for Tobin to hear, making the woman spin around. 

Tobin breaks into a smile right away. “Amazing!” 

Olivia opens her eyes, waking up as she kicks her legs a couple of times. 

Kelley looks down, talking to her, but Olivia eventually starts crying. 

Her friend looks a little clueless in the moment, so Tobin takes Olivia, gently calming her down and hushing her back to sleep. 

She’s already learning to tell the difference in Olivia’s cries now and she could tell that Olivia was simply crying because she was tired and uncomfortable, as well as being awake in a stranger's arms for the first time. 

Tobin can’t even bring the girls on the team to finish the last exercise of their training, before they try to have a look at Olivia. 

“When was she born?” One of them asks, seeing how small Olivia still is. 

“Monday night.” Tobin announces and she can’t help the proud smile that’s on her face. 

“Night time alright.” Kelley laughs, to which Tobin chuckles. “Three minutes before midnight, just made it!” 

“She’ll be getting too warm from the sun in a minute and will probably start crying again soon.” Tobin mentions when the sun comes back out. “Maybe you want to take her back inside?”

Kelley nods, lifting her out of Tobin’s arms. “Auntie Kelley’s on the case.” 

Tobin just rolls her eyes with a laugh, finishing off her training session and answering the million questions she gets pestered with about Olivia, before telling all of the girls to go home. 

“So, how’s life as parents?” Kristie asks the couple, now that they’re both together at the same time. 

“Amazing.” Tobin looks down at Olivia in her arms, two pairs of hazel eyes meeting each other. “I already love being a parent so much.” 

“And I don’t have to deal with Christen’s pregnancy mood swings anymore.” She adds on with a smirk. “A crabby Christen is hard enough to deal with when she isn’t pregnant.” 

Christen folds her arms, raising her eyebrows and giving her a look that speaks s _ays you._

Alex pats Tobin’s back with a laugh. “I hope your sofa is comfortable enough to make a nice bed for tonight.” 

Tobin and Christen both laugh, as Tobin winks at her wife. 

“I’m kidding.” She whispers as she kisses Christen’s head. 

Christen just shrugs. “You’re the one that decided to marry me, so you’re the one who has to deal with all my moods. You got yourself into that mess, it’s not my fault.”

“She has a point.” Kelley agrees with a laugh. “It’s what you signed up for.” 

\-------

Tobin and Christen both turn to each other with a huge smile as soon as they hear a car pulling up outside of their house, immediately knowing who it is. 

It’s Monday afternoon and Tobin just got in from work an hour ago. 

Cindy and Jeff’s flight had landed in LAX a little while ago and they’d ordered an Uber to Christen and Tobin’s house right away. 

Christen is practically bouncing on her feet as she walks to her door, opening it and watching the couple walk towards the house. 

Cindy drops her bags as soon as she steps into the house, pulling Christen into a tight hug. 

“I’m so proud of you, Christen.” She whispers as she holds on a little tighter. “You did amazing and you can be so proud of yourself too.” 

They shut the door, Jeff getting a quick hug from Christen too, before taking another step into the house and seeing Tobin standing a few steps away, Olivia lying awake in her arms. 

Jeff might as well have sprinted those few steps, reaching Tobin’s side so quickly and taking Olivia into his arms. 

“Cindy, look at her!” Jeff gushes, trying to get his wife to come over too, as if she needs to be encouraged first. “Look at the little wispy hairs and her little button nose. She has hazel eyes and they look just like Tobin’s!” 

Christen, Cindy and Tobin all start chuckling at his rambling, moving to huddle around him and admire Olivia too. 

“I love how similar Liv and Tobin’s eyes are.” Christen agrees as she responds to what Jeff had just pointed out. “They’re so pretty!” 

“Okay, my turn!” Cindy announces, even if it’s only been a couple of minutes since Jeff took Olivia into his arms. “I need to hold my granddaughter.” 

“No fighting, kids.” Tobin jokes when Jeff shoots his wife a disapproving look at having to give Olivia to someone else. 

“Tobin is in mom mode already.” Jeff jokes, making Christen laugh as she thinks about how true that is. 

“Why don’t you take your shoes off, bring your bags upstairs and actually make yourselves comfortable first?” Tobin ignores the comment, moving on when she realizes they’ve gotten nowhere apart from standing in the middle of the room and looking at Olivia. 

“Tobin, you’re gonna have to get your priorities straight!” Cindy defends, shutting her daughter down. “Olivia comes before everything else right now, so I can do the rest once I’ve finished gushing over how cute she is - which might take a few years.” 

“Honey, it’s probably hard for Tobin to get her priorities straight, when she isn’t even straight.” Jeff comments with a serious look on his face and Christen bursts out laughing, still wondering how Jeff can keep a straight face whenever he leaves one of his ridiculous comments. 

“My priorities are straighter than straight, thank you.” She raises an eyebrow at him, watching as her mom tries not to laugh when she meets Christen’s eyes. “I’m just saying that Olivia will still be here after you’ve settled in and then you’re more than welcome to hold her for the rest of the night, if that’s what makes you happy.” 

“I call dibs on holding her first!” Cindy announces as she rushes to the front door, grabbing her bag and hurrying up the stairs. 

“Don’t fall, Cindy!” Christen calls out through her laughter. 

Jeff hands Olivia over to Christen, following his wife as Christen and Tobin make their way up the stairs too. 

Tobin and Jeff end up disappearing somewhere, having started a conversation about something Cindy and Christen both didn’t have a clue about, before announcing that they’ll be downstairs. 

Meanwhile, Christen walks into the nursery to feed Olivia, sitting down in the grey rocking chair. 

“Chris?” She hears a voice call out a couple of minutes later, making her location known by responding. “Yeah?” 

“Oh, sorry for interrupting.” Cindy opens the door to the nursery a little wider, spotting Christen. 

“Do you mind?” Cindy kindly wonders, gesturing to the second rocking chair, unsure if Christen would rather have her go downstairs and wait there. 

“No, not at all!” Christen shakes her head right away, gesturing for the older woman to sit down. 

After all, Cindy is the closest person she has to a mother these days and whilst personally Christen would only bottle feed Olivia in public, she’s very covered up anyway. 

Not that she minds when someone breastfeeds in public, it’s just something she doesn’t feel comfortable doing. 

Cindy settles into the rocking chair, meeting Christen’s green eyes when she starts talking. 

“By the way, feel free to stay in the other guest bedroom if you want to!” Christen begins, explaining her reasoning. “I’m not sure how much difference it’ll make though, so I hope you don’t mind being woken up a couple of times during the night.” 

“Chris, I had four kids.” She gives her a soft smile, letting her know that she needs Christen to hear her out. “I certainly don’t mind hearing a newborn cry and Jeff won’t wake up anyway, he never did when his own kids were crying.” 

Christen laughs at that, thinking about how different her situation is. “Tobin’s the complete opposite of that. She jumps out of bed before I even have the chance to open my eyes.” 

Cindy gives her a smile as Christen continues. 

“I’ve tried so many times to tell her that she should get some sleep, but I have to pick my battles and that’s one I’m not going to win.” She stares down at the floor, deciding to voice her thoughts to Cindy. 

“I have more respect for single parents than I’ve ever had before.” Christen starts explaining, admitting something that she’s held back from Tobin. “It’s only been a few days, but in some moments, I really felt myself struggling and wishing that Tobin is home during the day.”

“Not to do everything for me or anything like that.” She quickly clarifies, though the look Cindy gives her lets her know that she didn’t have to. “But more to share the responsibilities throughout the day, so I can make better decisions and we can guide each other.” 

“Olivia has been a great baby so far, she really has. For the most part, she’s been no bother when putting her to bed, feeding her and to calm her down when she cries. I know that all of that will likely change when she starts teething, but I’d like to say we’ve been lucky over the past week.” Christen continues voicing her thoughts. “It’s just those moments where I need a minute to breathe or where I feel clueless, is when I’d really wish Tobin wouldn’t be at work.” 

“And I want her around all of the time anyway, so there’s that too.” 

“Chris, you’re doing a great job!” Cindy assures her, being aware that she doesn’t need to watch Christen over the next few days to make her mind up on that. “Being a parent isn’t easy and everyone has moments where they’re unsure at that start. You just have to find what works for you and for Olivia and for Tobin. You don’t have to do what others do, as long as it’s what works best for your family.”

“And I know you’d rather have Tobin at home with you and Olivia. I completely understand that and I wish that you could have that too!” Cindy acknowledges, before coming up with a very short term and different solution. “I know it’s nowhere near the same, but whilst I’m here, I’m more than happy to help out. Whatever you need help with or even if you want to take a nap for an hour or two, just tell me and take advantage of having that option whilst I’m here, because I’ll be more than happy to look after Olivia.” 

“Thank you.” Christen gives her an appreciative smile.

“Do you just breastfeed or do you bottle feed too?” Cindy wonders out of interest. 

“No, I’m going with both right away.” Christen tells her. “We talked to the nurse at the hospital about it and she suggested both too, since there’ll be times where Olivia will be alone with Tobin, so it’s easiest to get her used to both now and avoid any feeding issues later.” 

Cindy nods with understanding. “Yeah, that’s definitely a good idea.” 

“Which one did you do?” Christen questions next. 

“I mainly breastfed for all four of them.” She starts explaining. “I didn’t switch to bottle feeding until a lot later on, so I got lucky that the only time I had issues of them getting used to a bottle was with Jeffrey. The girls were all fine and I didn’t bottle feed them until they were just about ready to only have solid foods.” 

Christen’s eyes widen as she chuckles. “Honestly, I’m glad when I get a rest and can just grab a bottle instead.”

Considering her and Tobin want more children in the future and want those close in age, she knows that they’ll start feeding Olivia solid foods from sixth months on and that she’ll slowly stop breastfeeding then, so Olivia sticks to just eating solid foods as soon as possible. 

“Did you ever have any struggles with breastfeeding at the start?” Christen decides to ask, knowing that this has been one of the few times where she hasn’t had to curl her toes in pain as Olivia latched on to her. 

She thinks that her and Olivia are slowly getting better at it though and figuring out what works best for them. 

“So many!” Cindy nods right away. “And let me tell you, there was no difference in breastfeeding any of them. Even when I had Jeffrey, after already having three kids, I still struggled.” 

“You did?” Christen goes to confirm, feeling glad to find out she isn’t doing anything wrong. 

It’s only been a week after all, but it still makes her feel better. 

She’d been considering asking her grandmother about it, since she doesn’t have the chance to ask Stacy anything she feels unsure about. 

Cindy is family, of course she is, but she didn’t know how to approach Cindy with these questions or if Cindy would even feel comfortable answering them. 

Christen shouldn’t be surprised that Cindy has no problem answering them and is more than happy to discuss anything with Christen. 

She was even in the delivery room with Katie when she gave birth to both Ellie and Jake, so a conversation about something that’s natural during motherhood certainly won’t scare her away. 

Especially since she treats Christen like her own and has such a close relationship with her. 

“Mhm.” Cindy continues with a hum. “Every baby is different, so you have to try and find out what works for both of you all over again. When I had Katie, there were so many times where I felt like crying from the pain.” 

Christen cringes at the thought, her facial expression clearly showing that since Cindy starts laughing. “I haven’t had it that bad, but I’ve definitely twisted my face more than enough times.” 

“You’ll figure it out.” Cindy assures her, knowing that she did too. “Even if that’s going to be right before you stop breastfeeding.” 

She chuckles once she’s burped Olivia, sitting her down on her knees. 

“Chris, she’s beautiful.” Cindy sighs softly after looking at Olivia for a long moment. “She’s also going to look exactly like you.” 

“You mean like Katie, Perry, Tobin and Jeffrey all look exactly like you?” Christen smirks, knowing very well that Cindy’s genes are definitely the strongest ones in the family. 

“Apart from the fact Tobin’s hair is almost straight.” Cindy thinks back to when her children were all little. “Even Jeffrey had curly hair when he was little, and so did Jeff, but Tobin always had straightest hair out of everyone in the family.” 

Christen chuckles as she thinks about how easy it is for Tobin to make her hair every morning, simply putting it up in a bun or running a hairbrush through it once. “At least she’s never had to deal with the pain of having curls.” 

“Tell me about it.” Cindy chuckles, having dealt with this with her own hair and with Katie and Perry’s hair. 

She gets up from her seat, Olivia on her arm, as she walks over to the small box with Olivia’s pacifiers in. 

Christen grabs the first one, seeing the color and dropping it back down again. 

“Oh, not that one.” She mumbles as she moves on to grab the next one. 

“What’s wrong with the blue one?” Cindy chuckles as she watches Christen put it back without hesitation. 

“She doesn’t like that one.” Christen laughs as she finds the correct pacifier. “Olivia only seems to like the green one at the moment.” 

“I’m surprised you guys haven't bought her a soccer one yet.” She thinks out loud, making Christen reach down again and hold a soccer ball pacifier up. 

“I took a shower last night and came back downstairs to find Tobin and Olivia watching a soccer game together on the sofa.” Christen recalls with a laugh, knowing that this was bound to happen. 

She wouldn’t be surprised if Olivia ends up requesting to watch soccer games once she’s old enough to decide these things. 

“Her first words are going to be goal and offside if you keep that up.” Cindy jokes as Christen nods in agreement. 

“Oh, she was very invested in the soccer game.” She teases, thinking back to how Olivia was likely trying to figure out what the large screen in front of her even was. “So invested that she fell asleep halfway through.” 

\-------

**Katie Parker :** We just arrived at the hotel! Text me when we should come over. 

Christen receives the text in the middle of watching a soccer game with Jeff. 

Olivia is lying in his arms, having no idea what’s going on, but staring in the direction of the television anyway. 

Christen can’t believe Olivia is almost three weeks old already, quickly making her way up to her first month on this planet. 

Cindy and Jeff had returned to Los Angeles after attending their event back home. Their return flight isn’t booked until the end of the next week, which is also the start of summer break. 

Tobin’s birthday is coming up, in exactly two days, so Katie and her family arrived in town today after driving from their home in Arizona. 

Ellie had skipped school today, which Katie allowed since it’s a Friday, so they could make it to Los Angeles before Tobin finishes work. 

They’re staying at a hotel downtown, only a short walk away from Christen and Tobin’s house. 

She opens her text messages, replying to Katie and asking her to come over after Tobin arrives at home. 

Christen knows that Tobin would be disappointed if she isn’t there when Katie meets Olivia, so she postpones Katie’s surprise arrival by a few minutes. 

Tobin has already had to miss out on enough moments between Olivia, Cindy and Jeff by having to be at work. 

It doesn’t take long until Tobin’s at home and Katie texts her that they’re on their way, so they’ll be there in the next few minutes. 

Tobin had joined Christen, Olivia and Jeff on the sofa when she came home, now giving Christen a confused look when the doorbell rings. 

They aren’t expecting anyone, so she’s not quite sure who it could be. 

Christen just shrugs, trying to act clueless, so Tobin jumps up and announces that she’ll get the door. 

Jeff and Christen give each other a knowing smile, turning their heads to look at the front door. 

Tobin opens it, her eyes immediately going wide when she sees who’s standing in front of her door. 

“What- what are you doing here?” She tilts her head with confusion. 

“Happy birthday, Tobs.” Katie laughs as the shocked look on Tobin’s face, clearly being surprised. 

“Auntie Toby!” Ellie bounces on her feet with excitement, opening her arms out when Tobin is taking too long to react and wrapping them around her waist. 

Tobin crouches down at the contact, giving Ellie a proper hug and holding her close. 

“Toby…” Ellie mumbles out louder after a moment. “You’re holding me super tight, I can’t breathe.” 

Katie and James start laughing at that, when Ellie suddenly seems to hear the laughter coming from Christen, Jeff and Cindy too. 

She looks over Tobin’s shoulder, seeing them on the sofa. 

“Auntie Chrissy!” She squeals, hurriedly leaving Tobin behind and climbing onto the sofa to hug Christen. 

She lets Cindy hug her afterwards, before turning in Christen’s lap and spotting Olivia. 

Christen laughs when Ellie clasps her hands over her mouth, looking at the little girl with wide eyes. 

“Is that Olivia?” She wonders, watching the girl in her grandfather's arms move her limbs. 

Christen looks at Ellie as she responds. “It is! Do you want to hold her?” 

Ellie gives Christen an eager nod, asking for her aunt's help to hold her. 

Jeff passes Olivia over to Christen, who waits for Ellie to shuffle off her lap and onto the sofa, before gently laying her daughter down in Ellie’s arms. 

“When she’s a little older, can I play with her and paint her nails and teach her how to color in?” Ellie starts rambling on, clearly excited to have a cousin other than the boys in her family. 

Christen chuckles as Ellie continues to come up with ideas of what she can do with Olivia. “I’m sure you can, but you’ll have to wait a few years.” 

“Okay!” Ellie nods, satisfied with the answer, before looking over to Katie, James and Jake, who are walking through the door. 

“Mommy!” She gets Katie’s attention, who turns to look at her. “Will you teach me how to paint my nails please? Auntie Chrissy said I can paint Olivia’s nails when she’s older.”

Katie chuckles at the excitement of her daughter. “I’ll teach you over the summer break, but you know it’s going to be quite a while until Olivia could have her nails painted.” 

“I know, but I gotta practice.” She shrugs, seemingly unbothered by the fact she’ll have to be patient. 

Ellie gasps all of the sudden, as Katie and Christen’s heads whip back around to her. 

“Maybe she won’t like nail polish!” Ellie seems to realize in that moment. “Oh, maybe she’ll like soccer. Do you think Cole would teach me some soccer so one day I could play with Olivia?”

“Of course he will.” Katie smiles, assuring her daughter that her cousin would be more than happy to do so. “Or maybe she’ll like gymnastics like me! That would be _super_ cool.” 

Christen runs her hand through Ellie’s hair, watching as her niece looks down at Olivia with awe. 

Ellie has grown up and matured a lot in the past couple of years and now that she’s getting closer and closer to eventually having her first double digit birthday, only having a few more years left until then.

Katie walks over to Jeff, hugging him and saying hello whilst Cindy is busy greeting Jake and James. 

She hugs Christen afterwards, squeezing her tightly and then sitting down on the other side of Ellie. 

“Hi, Olivia.” Katie leans closer to Ellie, watching as Olivia’s eyes move over to her when she starts talking. 

“Mommy, she’s _so_ cute!” Ellie exclaims as she looks down at the little girl, holding her proudly on her lap. “Can I have a little sister?” 

Christen starts laughing at the look on Katie’s face as soon as Ellie’s words leave her mouth. 

“You have Jake.” Katie offers, not knowing how else to respond. 

“I know and I love Jakey, but I _really_ want a little sister too.” She offers, giving her mother an adoring look. 

“I’m sorry, El, but I think you and Jake are more than enough kids for me.” Katie shrugs, knowing that she won’t have any more children, but feeling unsure on how to let her daughter in on that. 

Ellie lets out a deep sigh, making Christen chuckle as she gives a heavy nod. “Okay…that’s okay.” 

\-------

Ellie has been Christen and Tobin’s shadow ever since they arrived yesterday, following them around whenever they have Olivia. 

She constantly wants to see the little girl, watching with curious eyes, no matter what they do. 

She had Christen in tears of laughter when Ellie was holding Olivia and suddenly realized that Olivia needed a new diaper, trying her best not to hold her nose as she notified Christen. 

Now, she’s walking back inside with Christen, whilst everyone else is sitting on the patio. 

Olivia has started crying, so Christen excused herself and Ellie was quick to jump up and follow her aunt. 

“Mommy always tells me that Jake is hungry whenever he cries.” Ellie explains, recalling what she’d been told when Katie was still breastfeeding Jake. 

“That’s right, Olivia is hungry.” Christen nods as she tries to hold the squirming girl, grabbing one of her milk bottles. 

“It’s okay, Olivia.” Ellie tries to shush her as she stands on her tiptoes next to Christen, running a hand down Olivia’s arm in a soothing motion. “Chrissy is going to give you some milk and then you won’t be hungry anymore.” 

Christen takes a minute to smile at how gentle Ellie is being, before having an idea. “Do you want to feed her?” 

“Am I allowed to?” She asks with big eyes, clearly not expecting this.

“Do you want to?” Christen wonders, leaving the choice up to her niece. 

Ellie gives her an eager nod, so Christen decides they’ll go upstairs. It’ll be easier for Ellie to hold Olivia whilst she’s sitting in the nursery, rather than on the sofa. 

“Okay, come on then.” Ellie runs ahead, walking into Olivia’s room, which she already knows way too well after a few hours. 

Ellie climbs into the rocking chair, waiting to hold Christen just like her mom had taught her when she held Jake, making sure to support her neck and have her propped up a little. 

Christen kneels down in front of the chair, holding the bottle together with Ellie until she knows that Ellie has it in the right position. 

She lets go after that, watching as Ellie proudly feeds her cousin. 

“I think she’s full.” Ellie announces once Olivia clearly doesn’t want to drink any more milk. 

Christen lifts her daughter out of Ellie’s arms, burping her and putting the bottle to the side. 

Eventually, after Ellie had told everyone fifty times that she fed Olivia, Tobin and Christen notice that they usually put Olivia down around this time. 

Normally, they’ll stay up for a short while, maybe another hour, before heading upstairs to get an early night and as much sleep as they can. 

Now that their family is here though, it’s all a bit different and they likely won’t get as many hours of sleep as they’d like to - not that they mind. 

“We’re gonna put Livvy to bed, we’ll be back!” Tobin stands up from their outdoor seat when Christen does the same, watching as Ellie chews her lip and shakes her legs, clearly hesitating to say something. 

“Toby!” She whispers before Tobin is able to walk past her. 

“Yeah, El?” She looks down, speaking just as quietly since she can see her niece turning shy. 

“Can I come and help?” Ellie looks down, twirling her thumbs, before meeting Tobin’s eyes. 

Tobin just sticks her hand out, waiting for Ellie to take it, who jumps off her seat right away, giving Katie a beaming smile as she walks inside of the house. 

Ellie helps them get Olivia ready for bed, giving her cousin a light kiss on the head to say goodnight. 

She turns the baby monitor on for Tobin, standing quietly next to Olivia’s crib as she watches Tobin and Christen put their daughter down. 

When Ellie goes to the bathroom once they’re out of Olivia’s nursery, Christen gives Tobin a knowing look. “It’s the night before your birthday, you know the rules.”

Tobin gives her the cutest smile she can master. “Can I not help you today?”

“Nope, I’m doing it!” Christen insists, crossing her arms and letting Tobin know that this isn’t up for a discussion. “Now go and enjoy some alone time.”

“Oh, there’s a replay of a WNBA game from last season on today!” Tobin suddenly remembers, knowing she’d wanted to watch it. “I can watch it on my laptop.”

“Perfect.” Christen smiles, leaving a kiss on Tobin’s lips. 

Christen waits for Ellie before heading downstairs, deciding to get started now. 

She asks Ellie if she wants to help, and of course she does, because she’ll do anything to spend time with her aunt. 

Whilst everyone else is still sitting outside, Ellie and Christen start baking a chocolate cake together - Tobin’s favorite. 

They get the cake mix ready, not without a few floury-handed high fives and hand prints on their aprons. 

Christen pretends not to notice the first time Ellie dips her finger into the cake mixture, quickly sticking it in her mouth before Christen is able to react. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Ellie looking at Christen and then back at the bowl, before repeating the same movement again. 

Christen grabs Ellie from the stool faster than she can blink, carrying the giggling girl and putting her down on the other side of the kitchen island. 

Ellie tries to get past her and back to their little workstation, but Christen moves to block her way. 

She does it again, over and over again, until Ellie’s legs are so weak from laughing that they’re about to give in. 

Ellie makes a run for it though, just getting past Christen before her aunt grabs her as they both burst into a fit of laughter. 

They don’t even notice Cindy opening the glass door and coming inside the house. 

“What’s going on in here?” Cindy looks at both of them, laughing when Christen and Ellie both jump, causing them to laugh even harder. 

“Auntie Chrissy is being silly!” Ellie claims as soon as she manages to catch her breath. 

“Me?” Christen gasps, reading forward to tickle Ellie’s sides. 

Ellie runs to hide behind Cindy, giggling as she peeks her head out to look at Christen. 

“It smells good in here!” Cindy realizes, trying to find out what Ellie and Christen are actually up to. 

“We’re baking a chocolate cake.” Ellie explains as she skips back to her spot from earlier, hopping onto the stool and pointing to the bowl of cake mixture. 

“A chocolate cake?” Cindy goes to get confirmation, asking for a further explanation. 

Her granddaughter nods, with a wide smile. “For Toby’s birthday.” 

Cindy looks over at Christen, receiving a curious look. 

“It’s sort of like a mini tradition we have.” Christen begins, being aware that none of the family know about this. 

Cindy asks Christen to continue, so she starts to fully explain it. 

“When I was growing up, we had a tradition in the Press household to always bake a cake the night before someone’s birthday. I’m not sure how it started, or when, but that’s one of the earliest memories I have. The only rule we had was that whoever’s birthday it is, wasn’t allowed to join in.” She reveals. “I told Tobin about it when we first started dating, so she decided to do the same for my birthday that year and then it kind of turned into our own little tradition too.” 

“So, every year I bake Tobin a cake the night before her birthday, and she does the same for me once we’re back home after Christmas.” Christen finishes explaining, figuring that Cindy well understands the explanation without all of the small details she missed out. 

“You have a tradition involving birthdays but Tobin doesn’t bake your birthday cake until after your birthday?” Cindy asks, trying to work out if she understood that correctly. 

“That’s the only thing you picked up from all of that?” She chuckles at the look on Cindy’s face. “But yeah, we normally just do it when we get some, so we don’t interrupt the...flow of Christmas and New Year’s celebrations?!”

“No, no, no.” Cindy mumbles as she shakes her head. “I’m not having that!” 

Christen tilts her head, as she furrows her eyebrows. 

“You’re getting a freshly baked cake _on_ your birthday this year.” Cindy crosses her arms. “I can’t believe we’ve been missing out on this tradition, when we could be baking birthday cakes.” 

“You know I don’t like celebrating my birthday much.” Christen groans, having always felt that her birthday is at the most inconvenient time. 

“And you know that this is the only time I’ll not care about your opinion on something.” Cindy gives her a soft smile, letting her know that she’s only joking. 

Although it still hasn’t stopped her from celebrating Christen’s birthday and making sure they go full out every year, so maybe she isn’t joking after all. 

Cindy ends up staying inside and helping Christen and Ellie, and Ellie finds it hilarious when her grandmother also tries a bit of the cake mixture. 

Surprisingly, Tobin is still awake by the time Christen enters their bedroom. 

She’d quickly checked on Olivia in between, seeing that her daughter is still peacefully asleep. 

Olivia is already a lot better at sleeping, having a lot more rest in between each feed at night. With the routine they’ve established at night, Olivia tends to sleep through until seven o’clock now too, only waking up earlier if she drifts out of sleep when Christen and Tobin go downstairs every morning. 

Christen gets her book out as she climbs into bed, keeping the light on her night stand on so she can read a little. 

Tobin shuffles closer, moving to push her head through the gap in Christen’s arms and rest it on her shoulder, so she can nuzzle into her wife. 

“Goodnight, baby.” Christen whispers, seeing how tired Tobin is and that she’s ready to fall asleep. 

“Goodnight, Chris.” She mumbles as she nuzzles further into Christen’s skin. 

Just as she’d expected, Tobin falls asleep within a split second. 

Christen can’t stay awake for much longer either, putting her book away and turning off the light.

She turns around, wrapping her other arm around Tobin too and pulling her closer. 

Christen kisses Tobin’s forehead, whispering that she loves her against her skin and closing her eyes. 

\-------

Christen is up and awake bright and early the next morning. 

She’s awake before anyone else, including Olivia. 

Olivia hadn’t been easy to put down after her second feeding last night, so by the time Christen was able to get her to sleep, Olivia was exhausted and Christen knew she’d sleep a little longer than she normally does. 

She does her daily meditation and yoga routine - something that has now become her chance to have some peaceful alone time. 

Christen adores her little family and spending time together, and she’s fallen in love with being a mother already, but those short minutes give her a chance to ground herself and feel ready for the chaos of the day. 

They give her a chance to think without any interruptions and to look after herself, so she’s able to be who Tobin and Olivia need her to be throughout the day. 

Afterwards, she gets started on making them all a big breakfast, having arranged for Katie and her family to come over in the early hours of the day too. 

She’s going full out for this birthday, just like she always does, simply trying to make Tobin’s day as special as she can. 

The past few weeks have been new and stressful, with them facing the struggles of having a newborn, but they’re pushing through and learning more about being parents every single day. 

Christen finds the birthday banner she bought when she went grocery shopping the other day and puts out the balloons that Ellie had helped her blow up yesterday. 

She checks the image on the baby monitor, seeing that Olivia is starting to stir and move her limbs, so she quietly jogs upstairs, wanting to get there before she wakes up and cries. 

“Hi, baby girl.” Christen hums as she enters the room, walking over to the nursery and picking Olivia up. 

She walks over to the changing table, putting a new diaper on and changing Olivia’s clothes. 

Olivia lets out a yawn, before turning her head and looking up at Christen. 

She squirms a little, clearly trying to find something other than the pacifier to latch onto. 

“Are you hungry?” She brushes her finger along the side of Olivia’s face. “Let’s get you fed before everyone else wakes up, so I can finish setting the table and getting everything out for breakfast.” 

Christen takes her downstairs, settling onto the sofa and reaching for the clasp of her nursing bra, so she can pull one side down. 

Once Olivia is full again, Christen debates on getting back to her original task right away and letting Olivia rest in the infant bouncer seat they have downstairs, but she figures spending a few minutes with her daughter won’t put her too far behind her schedule. 

“It’s your Mama’s birthday today!” She tells Olivia as if the young girl would be able to remember that. “You know what that means? We get to wake her up with lots of kisses and cuddles in a little while.” 

Christen makes herself comfortable, moving down a little and cuddling up with Olivia. 

“I love you so much.” She looks down at her daughter, leaning in to pepper her face in light kisses. “I can’t wait until I get to see you smile for the first time.” 

Christen stays on the sofa, talking quietly to Olivia and having some bonding time together, before she hears footsteps on the staircase. 

The sound isn’t a familiar one, so she knows right away that Tobin isn’t the person coming down the stairs. 

It’s not long before Cindy appears at the bottom of the staircase. 

“Good morning, you two.” Cindy smiles as she walks over to them. 

“Good morning!” Christen returns the smile, waiting for Cindy to make her way over. 

She looks around before sitting down, noticing that the table has already been set and that some food is already on there, waiting to be dished out once everyone is awake. 

“You’ve been busy this morning.” Cindy comments as she moves closer to Christen, greeting Olivia and mumbling sweet nothings to her. 

“I have to spoil my birthday girl.” Christen tells her, knowing immediately what Cindy is talking about. 

She looks over at the birthday banner and balloons, loving that her daughter has someone who focuses on the little things and makes Tobin’s day as special as it can be. 

She voices the realization she’d made when falling asleep last night. “This is the first time I get to spend Tobin’s birthday with her since she graduated from High School.” 

Christen smiles, feeling so happy that Tobin gets to have part of her family here for her birthday. “Let’s make it an extra special one then.” 

“Can I help you with anything?” She wonders, but Christen shakes her head right away, wanting to do this for Tobin. “I’m fine, but thank you.” 

“You can hold Olivia if you want to, whilst I finish making breakfast?” She asks, telling Cindy that she’ll put Olivia in the infant bouncer seat if she’d rather do something else. 

“I’m always up for some bonding time with my granddaughter!” Cindy breaks into a huge smile as she reaches to gently take Olivia out of Christen’s arms. 

Katie, James and their kids arrive shortly after, with Jeff also being awake and downstairs. 

“Where’s the birthday girl?” James wonders as he looks around, trying to spot Tobin. 

“Asleep.” Christen chuckles, knowing that the only reason Tobin isn’t awake yet is the fact she hasn’t heard Olivia cry. 

“I’ll go and wake her up now.” She heads up the stairs, just catching a glimpse of Ellie quietly talking to Olivia in her infant bouncer seat, before they’re out of her view. 

Christen sneaks into their bedroom, seeing that Tobin is now lying on the other side of the bed. 

She chuckles as she sees how Tobin’s body is lazily draped over the bed, clearly being exhausted from Olivia’s short nights and feeding times. 

“Good morning, baby.” Christen whispers, trying not to startle Tobin out of her sleep, as she runs her hand under Tobin’s shirt and traces her fingers up and down her spine. 

Tobin mumbles some words Christen can’t understand into the pillow, before shuffling over and nuzzling into Christen, who’s lying next to Tobin. 

She wraps her other arm around Tobin too now, softly kissing her head as she tries to encourage the woman to open her eyes.   
  


“Where’s Liv?” Tobin’s head shoots up all of the sudden, waking her up in the blink of an eye. 

She whips her head around to look at the baby monitor, seeing that it isn’t there. 

“She’s downstairs.” Christen chuckles at Tobin’s panic. “Ellie was sitting there and talking to her when I went upstairs, so she’ll probably stay next to Olivia for the rest of the day.” 

“Ellie’s already here?” Tobin’s eyebrows furrow, trying to make sense of the situation. 

“They arrived a few minutes ago, so I thought I’d come and wake you up now, before someone starts eating breakfast without us.” She explains with a light chuckle. 

Tobin drops her head back down and Christen already knows that they’re going to end up having an early and relaxing night, seeing how tired her wife is. 

Tobin takes a minute to make sense of everything, because rolling out of bed and heading towards the bathroom door. 

Christen reaches for her hand before she can walk away, tugging it and keeping her close. 

“Happy birthday, my beautiful wife.” She whispers against Tobin’s lips, kissing her and then letting her go so she can get ready. 

When Tobin comes downstairs, she’s startled to find everyone singing happy birthday to her. 

“Happy birthday, Tob!” Cindy gives her a tight hug, pulling her daughter in first.

“Thanks, Mom. I love you.” Tobin smiles and her face lights up as she turns to look at Olivia, who’s on Cindy’s arm. 

“Hi, Livvy.” She lifts Olivia out of Cindy’s arms, holding her close and leaving a kiss on her head. 

“Livvy, say happy birthday, Mama.” Cindy whispers to the girl, making her and Tobin laugh. 

“I heard her say it.” Cindy jokes afterwards, as Tobin’s eyes scan the room to try and find Christen. 

Ellie comes bouncing up to her before she can find Christen, standing in front of her and looking up at Tobin. 

“Happy birthday, Toby.” She wraps her arms around Tobin’s waist, hugging her tightly and then taking her free hand. “Auntie Chrissy and I baked you a cake!” 

“You did?” Tobin pretends to act surprised, knowing that was Christen’s plan all along and having had a good feeling that Ellie will be willing to help her. 

“Mhm.” She eagerly nods. “It’s a chocolate one - your favorite!” 

“I can’t wait to try it, El.” She runs her hand through Ellie’s hair, before her niece drags her over to the table, proudly pointing at the cake in the middle of it. 

“Who did more, you or auntie Chrissy?” Tobin jokingly whispers to Ellie, leaning down so she’s at her height. 

“Me.” Ellie giggles as she whispers back, seeing Christen narrow her eyes from behind Tobin. 

“Hey!” Christen defends herself. “Ellie and Cindy were the ones eating the cake mix whilst I was trying to bake it.” 

“Me?” Cindy says in a shocked voice. “As if I would ever do that.” 

“Can we eat now? I’m hungry.” Ellie requests, making all of the adults laugh. 

“Did you do all of this?” Tobin quietly asks Christen, leaning into her. 

Christen shrugs with a telling smile, so Tobin just shakes her head, returning that same smirk. 

She leaves a peck on Christen’s lips, silently thanking her and making it know just how much she appreciates everything Christen does for her. “I love you.” 

Christen returns those words, before Ellie interrupts their little moment. 

“Toby!” She looks up at Tobin, trying to get her attention. 

Tobin nods, asking her to continue. 

“Can Olivia sit next to me?” She wonders, pointing over to the infant bouncer seat that’s now in between two chairs. Christen assumes that Ellie must have moved it there, since it was still by the kitchen island when Tobin came down the stairs. 

“Oh, yeah. I’m sure Olivia would _love_ to sit next to you.” Tobin only brightens her niece's mood, as the girl skips over to one of the chairs next to Olivia’s seat and sits down. 

Ellie ends up kindly allocating the chair on her left side to Christen, and the chair on the other side of Olivia to Tobin. 

Katie and Jeff can’t help but laugh when they look at how proud Ellie looks, sitting in between her aunts and cousin. 

She leans down to check on Olivia every few minutes, giving everyone a full report each time, even if Olivia is asleep for the majority of that time. 

Looking at the three of them sitting opposite her, Katie decides right away that she needs to make it a point to visit Tobin and Christen more with her family. 

She doesn’t see them anywhere near as much as she’d like to, but she wants to try and visit them at least once every summer break. 

Katie doesn’t want this bond between Tobin, Christen and Ellie to ever be broken. 

Ellie looks at them as if they hung the moon and the stars just for her and she adores both of them so much. They’re her role models and she picks up so much from them. 

And they’re the people Ellie can come to when Katie or James and her have had an argument, knowing very well that she’ll always listen to anything Tobin and Christen tell her. 

Katie wants to make sure that she keeps that relationship up by having them see each other a little more regularly, even if that just ends up being more FaceTime calls in between the holidays and summer break. 

There’s been so many times where Ellie comes up to Katie and tells her that she misses Tobin and Christen, but Katie has never thought far enough to simply suggest a quick phone call or FaceTime. She hasn’t made enough of an effort to make sure her daughter can speak to them when she misses them. 

That’s something she’s blaming herself for, but she’ll make sure she changes it from now on. 

Katie can’t even imagine how many text messages and FaceTime calls Tobin and Christen will receive once Ellie has a phone when she’s older. 

Although, that’ll already start for them when Cole gets his first iPad for Christmas this year. 

Those thoughts return to Katie once again, when Ellie happily sits on Christen’s lap as they watch Tobin open her presents. 

\-------

The Press family all come over to spend the day celebrating Tobin’s birthday too, before disappearing again in the early afternoon. 

Christen has been going on short, daily walks since their first one, slowly getting her body back to normal. 

She’d planned on doing the same today, even if it was a short walk by herself, but Tobin insisted on coming too. 

They ask everyone else, wondering if they want to join them, but they weren’t very successful. 

Jeff and James are in the middle of watching an American football game, and Cindy and Katie are having a conversation with each other whilst Jake naps in Katie’s arm. 

Unsurprisingly, Ellie wants to come with them. 

She jumps up from the sofa right away, running over to the door and putting on her shoes. 

Christen grabs the pushchair out of the garage, bringing it into the house as they get ready to leave. 

She checks that she’s got everything she needs, before going outside to meet Tobin and Ellie in the driveway. 

“What do you say about walking all the way along the beachwalk today and buying some ice cream?” Christen suggests, looking between the two of them as they give each other a grin. “I’ll take that as a yes.” 

“Does she like lying in her pushchair?” Ellie wonders as they walk down the street, reaching the beachwalk and turning into the direction of their favorite ice cream parlor. 

“I think so.” Christen shrugs, not knowing how else to answer. “She doesn’t usually cry when she’s in her pushchair and she likes sleeping in there.” 

“Am I allowed to push it?” Ellie gets the courage to ask, suddenly realizing that Christen may be a little skeptical about letting her push it herself. “Or can I help you push it?”

Christen lets Ellie move in her spot, taking over the pushchair and carefully moving along the beachwalk, as Tobin keeps a hand on the side of the handle, making sure she still has some control of the pushchair. 

They all get an ice cream, finding a bench and sitting down on it to eat. 

Olivia does start crying this time though and won’t calm down, even with Tobin moving the pushchair back and forth in an attempt to soothe her. 

Tobin gets Olivia out of the pushchair once she finishes her ice cream, grabbing a bottle and feeding Olivia. 

Her daughter finally settles down after that, happily having her milk as the older trio look out at the ocean. 

Or well, they would be. 

They would be if Ellie and Tobin would be able to rip their eyes away from Olivia for even a second. 

By the time they’re back at their house, everyone else is sitting outside on the patio, enjoying the evening sun. 

The four of them take up the outdoor sofa as they join them outside, Christen holding Olivia in her arms. 

Ellie sits down next to Christen, facing Olivia and pulling funny faces at the young girl, in an attempt to encourage her first smile, even if Ellie is unsuccessful. 

She does end up having Olivia’s hands in her hair though, playing with it as Ellie just giggles and acts just as playful. 

Olivia appears to be exhausted after a long day with shorter naps, quickly closing her eyes and falling asleep. 

And apparently Ellie is just as tired from the weekend, leaning into Christen when her aunt wraps an arm around her. She closes her eyes, falling asleep within seconds. 

Christen doesn’t notice that they’re both asleep until a few moments later, looking down at Ellie with a smile, before admiring her daughter as a wide smile makes its way onto her face. 

Cindy, who’s been watching Christen this whole time, smiles when Christen carefully moves Ellie’s head so she’s resting against her stomach, making it more comfortable for her. 

She takes a sneaky picture of the trio, knowing that she’ll hang it up somewhere at home. 

\-------

“I’m sorry.” Christen sighs as they get into bed and move under the covers that night. 

Tobin’s eyebrows furrow as she looks over at her wife. “What are you sorry for?” 

“That we can’t do anything intimate tonight.” Christen admits. 

Christen has tried to convince Tobin to let Christen take care of her a few times now, but every time, Tobin has been honest and admitted that she doesn’t know if she can stop once they start, so she doesn't feel comfortable doing that. 

“Chris, stop apologizing.” She shuts her down, but Christen quickly tries to start talking again. 

“But I-” She begins before Tobin cuts her off again. 

“I don’t want to hear it!” She squeezes Christen’s hand, indicating that Christen truly shouldn’t be apologizing. 

Christen’s bleeding has stopped a week ago now and she’s been lucky enough to not have it very long, but she still can’t wait for whenever she feels ready to have some alone time with Tobin again. 

She misses that connection and Tobin’s gentle touch so much. 

“Can we take a bath together?” Christen suggests, wanting something more than simply lying in bed and falling asleep. 

Of course Tobin agrees, so they fill the bathtub with warm water and step in. 

“Thank you so much for organizing everything this weekend and for having Katie and James come too. It was the best surprise.” She wants Christen to know just how thankful she is and knows that there’s no better way to do that than when they’re alone. 

“I didn’t want to overwhelm you since I know the past few weeks have been so new to both of us, which is the main reason why I suggested that Katie and her family stay at a hotel.” Christen explains, even though Tobin didn’t mention it. “I hope that was okay.” 

“It was perfect.” Tobin leans forward to kiss Christen’s cheek. “You’re perfect.” 

Christen leans back, a little further into Tobin, as they talk quietly until they eventually get out of the bath. 

Whilst Tobin sits down on the bed again, Christen rummages through the back of the closet before pulling a wrapped present out. 

“I actually have another little present for you.” Christen mentions as she climbs onto the bed, sitting down in front of Tobin. “I wanted to give it to you when it’s just the two of us.”

Tobin wiggles her eyebrows in a suggestive, but joking, manner. 

She reaches out for Christen’s hips, resting her hands on them as she strokes her thumb on the smooth skin. 

“Not that.” Christen chuckles, shutting her idea down. “Not yet at least. But soon, I promise.” 

“I’m only kidding, babe. It’s just been three weeks since you gave birth, stop thinking that you have to rush everything.” She had told Christen this over and over again, about so many things throughout the day. She wants to make sure Christen heals and recovers properly, so she wants Christen to get the rest that she needs.

“I know, still soon though.” Christen explains, wanting Tobin to know that this isn’t what she was implying. “Because I want you, I really do, but I just need a little longer.” 

“And that’s okay.” Tobin adds to Christen’s sentence as she leans forward to kiss her forehead. 

“So, what is it?” She asks with excitement, moving the topic along. 

Christen hands the wrapped present over to her and when Tobin opens it, she’s met with a relatively large picture frame. 

She turns it around, letting her eyes scan the image in front of her. 

Tobin spots the two, tiny footprints first - right in the middle of the white paper. 

She lets her eyes move down and reads _Olivia Faye Heath_ in printed writing. Underneath, in slightly smaller writing, is Olivia’s birth date, time of birth and her weight at birth. 

Tobin runs her fingertips over the picture and instantly falls in love with it. 

“Babe, this is so nice!” She announces with a beaming smile after taking another close look at it. 

“Yeah? Do you like it?” Christen goes to confirm, even though she knows the answer to it by the look on Tobin’s face. 

“I love it so much!” She confirms right away. 

“It’s up to you where we put it.” She explains as she peeks to have a look at the picture again too. 

“Okay, one more thing!” Christen holds her finger up before Tobin is able to thank her again, still not being able to rip her eyes away from the tiny little footprints. “I have one last thing for you, but it’s just something I saw and thought you might like.” 

Tobin raises her eyebrow as Christen gets out an even bigger present this time. 

When she opens it, she’s met with a box. 

Inside the box, are a number of canvases of different sizes and some inkless paint. 

“So, the canvases are just for you to use for whatever comes to your mind.” Christen decides to explain herself. “You said a little while ago that you’ve been wanting to make some smaller paintings, but never really get around to starting them, so I thought this was the perfect way to help you with that, especially with summer break coming up and you having more free time.” 

“And then when I bought this, I asked them to use the footprints from the hospital.” Christen explains as she holds up the first present, having designed it so it’s from Olivia’s birth. “So, I thought I’d get you some inkless paint in case you want to do your own with her.”

“I don’t know, maybe to hang up in your mini studio or to hang up in Olivia’s room.” She shrugs as she continues. “It’s up to you, but in case you do want to do that, I got you some paint for it. I-” 

“You’re cute when you ramble.” Tobin kisses Christen, cutting her off. “Babe, this is the most perfect idea ever and I can’t wait to try it out. Although, I’m not sure how much Olivia will like it.” 

Christen chuckles, as Tobin reaches out and pulls her down on top of her. 

She closes her eyes, listening to Tobin’s heartbeat until her wife breaks the silence. 

“Will you help me do the footprints with Liv?” She requests, just wanting to include Christen in one of her own hobbies. 

Christen nods, feeling Tobin hold her even closer. 

“Thank you for always thinking of my interests and never disregarding them.” Tobin whispers into Christen’s ear. “I don’t think I spend enough time telling you just how much I appreciate it.” 

“Baby, of course.” Christen looks up at her with genuine confusion, as if her learning about the things Tobin likes should be a given. 

“No, I really mean this.” She doesn’t want Christen to just brush it off since knowing everything about what Tobin enjoys doing is such a normal thing for her. “I know that art isn’t really your thing.” 

Christen gasps with wide eyes. “What do you mean? I’m great at art.”

Tobin raises an eyebrow at Christen. “So great that when you were in school, your art teacher once laughed at you?” 

“That one really hurt my ego.” She admits, and Tobin kisses her cheek. 

“I’m sorry, babe.” She makes her response genuine, because she knows that it did hurt Christen at the time, but ever since she told Tobin the story, they just laugh about it and use it to tease each other.

“You know what I meant!” Tobin defends her original statement. “Art isn’t really something you’re all that interested in, and the same goes for some of the other things I like, but you still take me out for dates at art museums or let me go to some fun art classes and sometimes even come with me.” 

“You always make an effort to include my interests and push me to be better in them, rather than change them for something you prefer.” She continues, finishing off her sentence. 

“That’s because I love you and I want to know all about the little things that make you happy.” Christen shrugs, showing once again that she’s never even thought twice about it. “And you do the same for me.”

“Like when I try yoga and fall over, or try to meditate and end up making both of us laugh?” Tobin chuckles, thinking back to all of those moments. 

There’s been a few times where Tobin decided to join Christen for her morning yoga, but every time, she quickly finds out that her balance is nowhere near as good as her wife’s. 

Something similar happened when she tried to meditate. 

The first time, she could not stop fidgeting. Tobin has no idea how Christen can be so calm and composed in those moments, although that’s probably why she’s exactly like that throughout the day too. 

Then, the second time and every time after that, Tobin couldn’t stay serious. It usually takes her all of two minutes to start laughing, trying to bite her lip and stay serious, until Christen bursts out laughing too. 

“So, since we aren’t having sex tonight and I feel a little guilty about that, what do you say to a little make out session?” Christen suggests, letting her eyes look down at Tobin’s lips before meeting her hazel eyes again. 

“Only if you stop feeling bad about it.” She responds as she pulls Christen into a soft kiss. 

\-------

Christen loves having Tobin home over summer break. 

She loves having her around all day, loves watching Olivia and Tobin’s bond grow even more and she loves spending all day with her two favorite people. 

To get away a little and still have some time alone, Tobin signs up for a weekly art class over the break, whilst Christen signs up for weekly yoga classes. 

Normally, they both go every now and then when they’re in the mood for it, but they’ve never gone regularly. 

Now that they’re spending three whole months around each other and Olivia, they both agreed that they need something that allows them to be by themselves for an hour or two, whilst also giving the other some time to be alone with Olivia. 

Christen’s made some new friends in her yoga class, as well as Tobin making some in her art class, so maybe they’ll make it a point to always sign up for these classes during breaks, when they aren’t on vacation or busy. 

They’ve even found some time to be fully intimate with each other again, for the first time since the late stages of Christen’s pregnancy. 

This first occurred when Olivia was napping during the day, and well, if it’s been a daily occurrence since that day, then so be it. 

The Heath family come to visit at the beginning of July, most of them meeting Olivia for the first time, and all of them just spending the week together. 

There’s also been a lot of milestones. 

Like Olivia’s first smile. 

_Christen is sitting against the headboard of her bed, knees propped up with Olivia resting against them._

_She’s busy talking to Olivia, when Tobin joins them on the bed._

_Christen pulls a funny face at her daughter when their eyes meet, watching as Olivia’s own eyes crinkle and she smiles._

_It instantly makes Christen smile just as wide, noticing that Tobin is sitting next to her, jaw dropping at the realization._

_“Did she just smile?” Tobin blinks, looking between Olivia and Christen. “She just smiled!”_

_“Livvy, you just smiled for the first time!” Christen happily exclaims as she leans forwards and kisses Olivia’s cheek, watching that same smile appear again._

_And Tobin was right._

_She was right when she thought to herself that she’s going to love Olivia’s smile just as much as Christen’s._

Or when Olivia first rolled over. 

_“Babe, what are you doing?” Tobin holds herself on the counter as she bends over with laughter, watching as Christen is rolling around on the floor next to Olivia’s playmat._

_“I’m trying to get her to roll over.” Christen explains, trying again with the hopes of Olivia copying her._

_Her and Olivia have been playing with the playmat whilst Tobin was cooking lunch, until she looked over at her wife and daughter, to see Olivia watching her mom as she rolled around._

_“I don’t think it’s working.” She states the obvious, but Christen insists that she’ll be able to get Olivia to roll over._

_So Tobin walks over to them, looking down at her daughter, who smiles when she sees her mama._

_Olivia’s eyes follow Tobin’s as she walks around the playmat and towards Christen._

_Her inability to keep Tobin within her view, causes her to roll over onto her stomach, so she’s facing Tobin again._

_Tobin bursts out laughing again as soon as she sees it, watching Christen groan and drop her head down onto the floor._

_“Seriously?” She huffs as she stands up, biting her lip to stop herself from smiling, and crossing her arms instead._

_Tobin reaches out for her, but Christen just sticks her hand out, waving her off and shaking her head. “Nope, don’t talk to me. I can’t believe this.”_

_Tobin leans down, holding onto Olivia’s wrist and high-fiving her own hand, before looking up at Christen again._

_“I bet she won’t do it again.” She chuckles as she lies down next to Olivia after moving her onto her back again, trying to get her daughter to roll over for a second time._

_Much to Tobin’s surprise, she repeats the movement, landing on her front._

_“Livvy!” Christen cheers this time. “Yay!”_

_She walks back over to them, lying down next to Tobin and trying her own method again._

_Olivia doesn’t move this time though, staying still and getting distracted by the toys hanging down from her playmat._

_Tobin chuckles, leaning into Christen and kissing her cheek._

_If Christen stays there all night, until Olivia eventually rolls over, because she’s that competitive, then she makes Tobin promise to never tell anyone about this._

Although their favorite milestone was definitely the first time they heard Olivia’s laugh. 

_Olivia is in the bath, having way too much fun pushing her rubber toys away and waiting for Christen to turn them around, so they float back towards her._

_Her favorites seem to be the red rubber duck and the nemo rubber fish._

_After one of Olivia’s baths, where she discovered her love for rubber ducks, Tobin went online and ordered a whole bunch of them right away._

_Christen couldn’t help but laugh when they arrived, watching as Tobin showed her the range of animals they had and the different colored ducks she bought._

_Her excuse was that they’ll be perfect for teaching Olivia the names of the animals and what sounds they make._

_Christen just let her have her moment of happiness, deciding not to comment on it unless she ever finds Tobin in the bathtub by herself, with millions of rubber ducks and rubber animals surrounding her._

_She was joking the first time she said that, but now that she comes to think of it, Christen wouldn’t be surprised if the inner child inside Tobin goes ahead with something like that._

_As Olivia tries to reach for one of the rubber ducks, her hand smacks the water and she splashes Tobin in the face._

_Christen and Tobin start laughing as the water drips down Tobin’s face, so Christen pulls her sleeve over her hand and reaches out, wiping the water off her._

_Olivia instantly smiles when they both laugh, always beaming whenever she sees that her parents are happy._

_Just as Christen is about to pull her hand away again, she hears Olivia let out a giggle._

_Not just a smile, but an actual giggle, for the very first time._

_And after that, they both make it their goal to hear Olivia’s giggle everyday, for the rest of their lives._

_“I love you more and more, every single day.” Tobin whispers against Olivia’s head, leaving a light kiss on it._

_Christen cleans the bathtub afterwards, as Tobin goes to get Olivia ready for bed._

_By the time she walks out of the bathroom, she’s met with Olivia lying on their bed and Tobin hovering above her, blowing raspberries on her belly._

_Christen smiles at the sound of Olivia’s giggles._

_“You know she’s supposed to be winding down, baby.” Christen comments as she changes her own clothes too, putting her sleep shirt on and then moving under the covers._

_“I just wanted to hear her giggle again.” She explains as she turns around, lying Olivia down in Christen’s arms._

_Christen just shuffles closer, wrapping Tobin’s arm around her own shoulder and moving her head onto Tobin’s shoulder._

_“Alright, storytime.” Tobin announces, picking up one of the books they bought for Olivia._

_She pulls her two girls a little closer, letting Christen hold the other side of the book as Tobin reads it._

_Being in this moment and having a family of her own, Christen thinks her heart might be millimeters away from bursting._

_And of course she falls asleep before Tobin can finish reading the book, because when Tobin turns her head, she notices just how alike her favorite people look._

_They’re sleeping almost identically, the only difference being Olivia sleeping with her pacifier._

_Tobin grabs her phone from her nightstand, trying not to move her arm and wake Christen. She takes a picture of the two of them, keeping it as a memory of the moment she realized her heart can’t possibly fall any further in love with the two of them._

_But Tobin already knows that she’ll wake up the next morning, noticing that she was so wrong and loves them even more already._

_She gently pulls her arm out from behind Christen, adjusting the pillow, so her wife is comfortably resting her head on it._

_Tobin lifts up Olivia and takes her into her own arms next, feeling so cruel for having to lift her out of Christen’s arms, but wanting her daughter to sleep safely._

_She carries Olivia over into her room, laying her down in her crib and turning the baby monitors on, so she can take it over to their bedroom._

_As Tobin crawls back under the covers, she feels as lucky as ever to have her own family._

_And she also thinks that the grandmother joke Kelley always makes about Christen is still true, seeing how she’s already asleep and it’s not even nine o’clock yet, but they haven’t had much sleep lately anyway, so an early night can’t hurt._

_She just turns the light next to her bed off, checking the volume on the baby monitor and moving closer to her wife._

As much as both of them love their little family and the moments they get to share with each other, there are also the hard days. 

_Tobin had heard Olivia as soon as she came out of the shower, her heart wrenching sobs echoing through the house._

_She gets dressed, brushing her teeth and letting her wet hair air dry, as she heads downstairs, so she can get back to Olivia and Christen._

_As she walks down the stairs, Christen comes into view._

_She has Olivia on her arms, pacing the room and trying to calm her daughter down._

_When Christen looks up, Tobin can see the tears starting to form in Christen’s own eyes._

_“I don’t know what to do anymore.” She admits honestly in a stressed voice. “I’m exhausted and Olivia won’t stop crying, but she’s not hungry and her diaper is clean, so I don’t know what she needs or wants.”_

_Tobin walks over to her, lifting Olivia out of Christen’s arms._

_“Shhhh, Livvy, it’s okay.” Tobin soothes her with a calm voice, rubbing a hand up and down her back, until the sobs eventually fade and Olivia stops crying._

_She grabs the pacifier, placing it in Olivia’s mouth and letting it occupy her, as she moves closer to Christen._

_Tobin pulls Christen into her side, rubbing her back and trying to relax Christen too._

_“Babe, it’s okay.” She whispers against the skin on Christen’s temple, leaving a kiss there. “Parenting is beautiful, but it’s also really effing hard.”_

_“Babies and kids have bad days too, just like us, so it’s okay.” She speaks again, knowing exactly what Christen’s inside worries are. “It doesn’t mean that you did anything wrong.”_

_“But she stopped crying for you.” Christen mumbles, knowing that Tobin has a point, but feeling too stressed to let her words sink in._

_“Probably because she could tell that you were getting stressed and frustrated.” Tobin suggests as she looks at her daughter finally being calm in Tobin’s arms, assuming that this must have been the reason for it._

_She looks between them both, noticing how tired Olivia is from crying. “Let’s just put Olivia down for her nap and have you relax for a little while.”_

\-------

It’s not long until Olivia starts babbling out, exploring different sounds and trying her hardest to speak, even if no words come out. 

She’s started to sleep through the night now, something Christen and Tobin appreciate a lot, as well as also starting moving a lot more. She’s now able to crawl just a little, mainly rocking backwards and forwards on her hands and knees, trying to gain enough balance to move. 

The day Christen returns to work is coming nearer and nearer, no longer being months away now. 

That’s what Kristie suddenly remembers when she’s sitting in the Physical Education office during a free lesson. 

She’d just come to annoy Tobin, really. 

She doesn’t have anything to do, so she just sits down in Julie’s chair, spinning it around until she gets Tobin’s attention. 

“Have you and Christen found a nanny yet?” Kristie wonders when Tobin finally stops looking at the screen of her computer. “For Olivia.” 

“Ehm, we’re actually going to send her to daycare right away.” Tobin explains, turning to face her friend. “Christen and I were both in daycare when we were babies, we want her to be around other kids from a young age, and it’s just the option we prefer.” 

“That makes sense. So have you found a daycare yet?” She corrects her question from earlier.

Tobin shakes her head. “No, we’ve started looking into it a little, but not past the names of local daycares.” 

“My sister, Sam, she works at a daycare and I’m not saying you’ll like that daycare or that you have to send Olivia there, but I can give you the details to it if you want.” She shrugs, although she knows that they couldn't leave their child with a better person than Sam. 

“She’s a year younger than me and has two kids of her own. The daycare is pretty close to here, I think it’s around a ten minute drive, and they’re all super friendly there.” Kristie explains a little more about Sam. “I don’t know, it’s up to you, but if you want her contact or the details for the daycare, just let me know. It might be nice to leave Olivia with someone who’s _kind of_ familiar, even if you’ve never met her before.” 

“We’ll definitely look into that one!” Tobin nods right away, already liking the sound of it. “Please could you send me the name of it and I’ll look it up with Christen tonight.” 

Kristie does so, whilst Tobin pulls out her phone and texts Christen. 

**Tobs :** Kristie just told me about a good daycare, remind me to tell you about it when I get home! I love you both. 

And maybe the main reason why she texts Christen fifty times per day is because Christen replies with a selfie of her and Olivia everytime. Tobin saves them right away, keeping them in her camera roll. 

Tobin mentions the daycare to Christen when she gets home that afternoon and after a bit of research, they both decide that they’ll ask Kristie some more about it and see if they can get in contact with her sister. 

Trusting someone with your child is huge, especially if you haven’t spent a single day without them yet, so they want to make sure that Olivia will be safe and taken care of. 

But they do end up sending Olivia to the daycare Sam works at. 

In the end, it was the best one they could find and it’s perfect for them. 

It’s only a short drive away from their school and about the same distance from their house. 

But with all of that, comes Christen’s first day at work. 

They’d sent Olivia to daycare the last two weekdays of the previous week, so Christen wouldn’t have to stress about her being there for the first time once she goes back to work. 

Christen spent most of the Thursday morning crying, even if she wasn’t sure why. 

She knows Olivia is in good hands, but being without her daughter all day, for the first time since she was born, hit her hard. Especially, since Olivia wasn’t with Tobin.

On top of that, Tobin was at work, so Christen had the house to herself. 

It was way too quiet for her and she just kept counting down the hours until she could pick Olivia up again. 

This is definitely going to take some getting used to. 

She notices that again on her first day back at work, when she keeps checking her watch and bouncing her leg, just hoping that Olivia is okay. 

“Babe.” Tobin sits down next to her, resting a hand on her thigh. “Livvy is okay, I promise.” 

“I just- It feels so weird. I feel like I should be with her right now.” She takes a deep breath, calming her own nerves. 

“I know you do and I can’t imagine how difficult it is for you to be away from her right now, especially after so long, but it gets easier.” Tobin tries to remember how she felt when she had to leave Olivia and Christen for the first time, even if it isn’t the same situation. 

“Olivia is safe and they’ll look after her.” She kisses Christen’s cheek, trying to help her relax. “It’s okay to worry and think about her, but don’t let it control your day. The more you put your head down and get back into a normal work rhythm, the quicker you’ll get used to it.” 

Christen slowly nods in agreement, knowing that everything Tobin is saying is true and that her wife is right, but still struggling to get her head around the fact that Olivia isn’t with them right now. 

She manages to get through the day, and she knows that the first day will always be the hardest, but this is definitely going to take some getting used to. 

Christen isn’t quite sure she would have made it through the day, if it wasn’t for Tobin encouraging and understanding words whenever they passed each other. 

Now, she can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for Tobin to return to work three days after Olivia was born. 

\-------

It’s not until a week later that Tobin approaches Christen about a passing thought she’s been having. 

“I need to talk to you about something.” Tobin announces as she joins Christen on the balcony, distracting the younger woman from the new book she just bought. 

“Oh no, what have you done?” Christen chuckles as Tobin leaves the glass door to the balcony open, facing Christen as she sits down. 

“Nothing.” She defends at Christen’s accusing tone. 

Christen gives her a look that Tobin has seen one too many times, raising her eyebrows as she tilts her head. 

“It’s nothing bad.” She settles onto the seat, making herself more comfortable. 

Her wife narrows her eyes for a moment, trying to think of something Tobin could have done. “Did you order some more rubber ducks?” 

Tobin bursts out laughing, rolling her eyes at the question. “No, Christen! I did not order any more rubber ducks.” 

“Oh, I just got _Christen_ ed.” She chuckles, referring to the fact that Tobin never calls her by her actual name, instead always using a nickname or term of endearment. 

“I’m only kidding.” Christen sits up a little, meeting Tobin’s eyes. “Is everything okay, baby?” 

Tobin nods. “Yeah, like I said it’s nothing bad.” 

“What did you want to talk to me about?” She shuffles closer, taking Tobin’s hand into her own and twisting the ring on her finger. 

“I just wanted to bring up a bit of a random thought I had earlier, which is always an option for us.” Tobin begins, turning so she’s fully facing Christen. “Our family is my number one pirority, so I want to do what’s best for us. I know we’ve got a little routine going now, but I want you to know that I’ve always got the option of coaching at an actual soccer club too. 

“I have actual coaching qualifications and I wouldn’t need any extra training to take a role like that, so I just wanted to bring you that idea and ask you to keep an open mind towards it.” 

Christen thinks over it for a short moment, knowing that what Tobin is saying is right, but wanting to make sure Tobin prioritizes the right thing - herself. 

“Would you rather coach at a club?” Christen wonders, but Tobin just shrugs in response. 

“Do you still like teaching?” She tries instead, knowing from experience that teaching is a job you have to love, if you want to do it well. 

“I love it.” Tobin answers without having to think twice about it. “I love teaching, I love our school, I love the people we work with, I love the girls on the soccer team.” 

“Then that’s what you’re going to do.” Christen tells her, trying to encourage Tobin to lead with whatever makes her heart happy, instead of the sometimes more practical solutions. “We can handle it, just like we’ve been doing so far, so don’t worry about that.”

“I just want you to do what makes you happy.” Christen continues, explaining her thoughts. “If one day, you decide that you want to work at a different school or do a different job, then that’s what you’ll do, but just focus on the things that make you happy for now. We’ll figure the rest out as we go.” 

“Plus, if you’d have a job like coaching at a club, then we’d have _a lot_ less family time.” She knows that spending time as a family is something that’s very important to Tobin. “Whilst right now, we have every afternoon and every weekend together.” 

“You’re right.” Tobin agrees, thinking through everything Christen has just said. “And it’ll definitely do Livvy good to mix with other kids from such an early age, even if it’s only a few hours per day. Our schedules are pretty good right now, so we’re lucky that all three of us get to spend a lot of time together.” 

Christen nods, showing Tobin that those were her thoughts too. “All I ever want is for you to be happy and if the thing that makes you happy right now allows us to have the same schedule, so we can spend most of our evenings all together, then that’s just another win.” 

She knows that they’re both super lucky to be at home with Olivia at the same time, at least on most days, and not have a situation where she’s only ever home with one of them. 

Tobin lets out a deep breath, deciding to move on with the conversation. 

“How are you feeling, now that you’ve had a chance to fully process your first week back?” They haven’t discussed this too much at home. 

Tobin could tell that it was stressing Christen and she still needed some time to get used to being back at work, so she didn’t want to bring up that stress at home, when it’s supposed to be the place where Christen can relax. 

Now though, she thinks Christen has had some time to process everything, and just wants to see how much the younger woman is willing to share with her. 

Christen lets out a sigh, trying to form a sentence, and then spilling her thoughts and emotions. 

\------

Only a few, short, weeks later, Jeffrey has his final National Team game of the year, right at the end of November. 

Cindy and Jeff fly out for the game, just like they usually do, so when they hear a knock on the door, Tobin goes to open it right away. 

They greet each other with warm hugs, before Cindy quickly notices that Olivia isn’t downstairs. 

“Where’s our little granddaughter?” She wonders with excitement, looking around. 

“She’s not so little anymore!” Christen pouts, thinking about how quickly her daughter is growing up. 

The last time Cindy and Jeff saw Olivia was at the beginning of July, and she’s a completely different child since then. 

“She’s grown so much already!” Tobin nods in agreement, before giving Cindy the answer she was looking for. “She’s napping right now, but she should be waking up again soon.” 

“Can I still go upstairs and see her?” Jeff requests and they both nod right away. 

Cindy and Jeff quietly make their way into the nursery, as Tobin carries their bags to the staircase, deciding their suitcase can stay downstairs for now. 

“Baby, come here.” Christen lifts her hand up, waiting for Tobin to walk over. 

“Hm?” Tobin wonders when she comes up to her. 

Christen brings a finger up to her own lips, indicating for Tobin to be quiet, as she turns the volume of the baby monitor up. 

Tobin hears Cindy and Jeff whisper to Olivia, talking in a hushed voice as they tell her how much they love her and how lucky they are to have another granddaughter. 

She threads her fingers through Christen’s, running her fingertips along the inside of Christen’s arm, as she leans into her and lets out a content sigh. 

They give each other a soft smile when they hear Cindy and Jeff exit the room again, turning the volume back to its usual setting and moving away again. 

“You look like you need a glass of wine!” Christen tells Cindy with a laugh as soon as they’re back in the kitchen. 

“You know me too well.” Cindy chuckles as Christen grabs a wine glass, pouring some red wine in for her mother-in-law. 

Olivia makes herself known after half-an-hour, deciding it’s time to wake up from her nap and join the party. 

Tobin places a hand on Christen’s shoulder as she gets up, signaling that she’s got it and she’ll get Olivia. 

She changes Olivia’s diaper, grabbing one of her bottles and feeding her inside. Once she’s happy again, no longer crying or feeling hungry, Tobin carries her outside. 

She notices that they’re all in a conversation, so instead of interrupting, she sits down with Olivia on her lap, kissing her head and smiling at her daughter. 

Jeff watches as Tobin looks between Christen and Olivia, her smile growing. His heart warms knowing that Tobin has so much love in her life. 

They all look over at Tobin once Cindy finishes her sentence, moving on from their conversation. 

“Hi, Livvy!” Jeff gains the attention of his granddaughter, who turns to look at him. 

“You have to say _Hi, Grandad.”_ Tobin jokes, listening to Olivia as she starts to quietly babble to herself. 

“Do you want to go to Grandad?” Tobin wonders, even though she won’t get a response, instead standing up and passing her over to Jeff. 

“It’ll only be a few more months and then she’ll start saying her first words!” Jeff predicts, hearing her babble on to herself, clearly trying to copy the adults around her. 

“She’s growing up _so_ fast.” Christen emphasises. “I feel like it’s only been a week since I gave birth to her, but at the same time, it feels like it’s been forever.” 

“It’s because you can’t imagine your life without her anymore.” Jeff gives her a soft smile. 

“I think I might cry when she says Mommy or Mama for the first time.” Tobin announces through a deep sigh, already feeling emotional by just thinking about it. 

“She always sleeps through the night now and she’s like inches away from being able to crawl now.” Christen tells Cindy and Jeff. “She kinda rocks back and forth on her knees and can move a little, but she usually loses her balance quite quickly.” 

\-------

They go to Jeffrey’s match the following day, with Olivia being more than prepared. 

She has a United States jersey on, which is still way too big on her, with Jeffrey’s number on it. The name at the top has been replaced with _Uncle Jeff_ and the shorts go past her ankles, so they’ve been replaced with some actual pants instead. 

She has her red, white and black Nike Jordan’s on, which Tobin had bought for her the other day, so they have the exact same ones. 

Christen isn’t sure who’s more proud to be wearing the same shoes today - Olivia, who doesn’t have a clue what shoes she’s wearing, or Tobin, who’s been planning on buying these ever since she saw some advertising for them at the start of Christen’s pregnancy. 

Definitely Tobin. 

Olivia’s closet already has a small section for Nike Jordan clothes and her shoe collection is filling up, even if half of her closet is still a few sizes too big. 

She seems to be growing a lot at the moment though, so it won’t be that long until she fits into them.

The game goes as well as it could have, the team winning 2-0 against Colombia and finishing the year off with a clean sheet. 

Jeffrey makes his way around the stands, signing autographs with his teammates, until he makes his way over to the corner his family are located in. 

“Chris!” He calls out, trying to get her attention from the pitch. 

She’s too distracted talking to Tobin though, not hearing him call her name. 

“Mom! Get Tobin or Chris, please.” He requests when he manages to gain her attention. 

Cindy taps Tobin’s arm, who makes her way down the stands and towards Jeffrey, leaning over the railing. 

“Can I take Olivia onto the field?” Jeffrey requests, wanting to show her off to all of his teammates, since he still hasn’t stopped showing them pictures of her. 

Tobin chuckles and nods, going up the couple of steps and getting Olivia from Christen, before carefully lifting her into her brother’s arms. 

Jeffrey proudly makes his way over to his coach right away. 

“This is going to be the next US Women’s National Team star.” He announces as soon as his coach spots him. 

“Oh, really?” His coach chuckles, raising his eyebrow at the comment. 

“Totally!” Jeffrey nods, turning towards his teammate. 

His teammate sits down opposite Jeffrey, rolling the ball to him as Jeffrey holds Olivia, trying to gently tap her foot on the ball. 

“Look at that, straight on the World Cup roster!” He shrugs as if it should be a given, looking back at his coach. 

“Vlatko!” His coach calls out to the man standing a few feet away from him. 

Vlatko is still the women’s national team coach, having coached them for years now. Since his November camp had to get cancelled this year, he decided to attend the men’s national team one instead. 

“We found you a new player.” Jeffrey’s coach announces, pointing to Olivia. 

Vlatko laughs as Jeffrey repeats what he said earlier. “She’s going to be the next US Women’s National Team star!” 

“Is she?” Vlatko chuckles at Jeffrey’s excitement. 

“Absolutely!” Jeffrey nods with certainty. “Her parents are both former division one soccer players and they both coach soccer now.”

“Well if that’s the case.” He responds, being used to Jeffrey’s jokes and teasing. 

His sense of humor is something Jeffrey is known for on the team. 

Jeffrey tries doing the math in his head, not knowing all that much about Christen’s career but thinking that there’s a good chance Vlatko will know her. 

“Actually, you might know her mom.” He speaks up, deciding to just ask Vlatko. 

“Who is she?” Vlatko wonders, not knowing anyone else with Heath as their surname. 

“Christen Heath, she used to be Christen Press.” Jeffrey explains, about to tell him what he can remember from Christen’s career, but Vlatko responds right away. 

“I know Christen!” He says without hesitation. 

And of course he knows her.

Vlatko coached Christen throughout all of her youth career, until he got promoted two years before Christen was called up for the National Team. 

He’d been the one to call her up for the senior team and he’d been the one to support her throughout her injury, just to then have a long conversation with her when it was clear that she had to retire. 

“Is she here?” He wonders, realizing that she must be if her daughter is here. 

Jeffrey nods, before pointing in the direction of his family. Vlatko has seen Cindy and Jeff a couple of times, so he spots them right away and notices that Christen is standing next to them. 

He walks over to the stands, calling up a few rows. “CP!” 

Christen looks up from her phone, spotting Vlatko waving his arms to try and get her attention. “CP!” 

She shuffles past Tobin, making her way down the steps. He helps her climb over the railing and onto the pitch, before pulling her into a friendly hug. 

“Vlatko, hey!” Christen greets, not having expected to see him here today and she certainly didn’t expect him to remember her. 

“How are you, kiddo?” He wonders and Christen rolls her eyes right away. “I’m not in my teenage years anymore.” 

“Well, you haven’t changed much.” Vlatko comments and it’s true. Whilst she’s definitely grown up a lot, she doesn’t look all that different. 

“How are you? How was the recovery?” He never had a chance to catch up with Christen on the rest of her recovery. 

During a long conversation, just after graduation from College, she told him that she needs to take some time away from soccer and focus on finding out who she is without it. 

When you grow up playing a sport all of the time, and sacrificing so much for it, you lose yourself. You no longer have an identity without it and she needed to be away from anything related to the sport, if she wanted to find out who she really is. 

Especially when it gets taken away from you in the blink of an eye. 

Christen takes a deep breath, thinking back to everything that had happened at the time. “It was worse mentally than physically, but I’m really happy with where I ended up and who I am now.” 

“That’s good, I’m glad.” And he is, because he only ever wanted the best for Christen. 

Vlatko was devastated when he found out that Christen wasn’t going to be able to turn pro. 

Partially because he knew she would be a massive asset to the team, but mostly because he’s been there since she was thirteen. He saw all of the hard work she put into becoming the best player she could be, he saw her train longer than anyone else, saw the joy she had when playing and the way she handled the pressure of having to perform well. 

Vlatko always knew that Christen deserved to live her dream, which is why he was so disappointed to find out that she would no longer be able to do that. 

“You’ve got a cute daughter!” He moves on with the conversation, seeing that Christen isn’t bothered talking about her career, but has long moved on from it. “I just got informed that she’ll be the next US Women’s National Team star.” 

Christen just laughs, knowing that her and Tobin will definitely let Olivia have a try at soccer, but wouldn’t ever push her to participate in something she doesn’t enjoy. 

She might turn out to hate soccer and want to play a completely different sport. 

“Are you still in contact with any of your old teammates?” He suddenly wonders, having seen the friendships that formed over the years, but not knowing if any of the players stayed in touch with her. 

“Sadly not.” Christen shakes her head with a little regret. “When I had to distance myself from soccer, I had to distance myself from most of them as well. It wasn’t anything personal and I was so happy for them, but it hurts to see others live your dream when you can’t achieve your own.” 

“You stayed in contact with Lana though, right?” Vlatko remembers just how close they always were and whilst he still knows Lana now, Christen has never come up in their conversations. 

“We talked here and there at first, but she got busier when she turned pro and I had to figure my life outside of soccer out.” She explains with a shrug. “You know how it is, life gets busy and you don’t get a chance to see each other, plus her playing over in France, so we just lost contact quite quickly.” 

“That’s understandable.” He nods, knowing how it is and that it can just happen in life. “She’s here today though!” 

“She’s here?” Christen asks with wide eyes, that being the last thing she expected him to say. 

Vlatko nods. “She was here for a meeting - in LA - and today’s pundit took a turn for the worse overnight, after getting sick, so she was asked to step in.” 

“Where?” Christen looks around, excitedly trying to see her childhood best friend and hoping to get a quick chance to speak to her. 

“She should be finishing off the post-game interviews right now.” Vlatko points in the direction as they begin to slowly walk that way. 

Once Lana is finished she looks up, spotting Vlatko coming towards her and going to approach him, until she realizes who is walking next to him. 

“Am I dreaming?” She wonders loud enough for them to hear, having stalled when her jaw dropped. 

Christen chuckles and opens her arms out as she takes the final steps towards her. 

Lana pulls her into a tight hug, lifting her up and spinning Christen around - being the goofy person Christen used to know. 

Christen holds onto her shoulders once she’s back on the floor, closing her eyes for a long moment and not letting go. 

“Oh my God, Chris! It’s been years!” She squeezes her a little tighter, before pulling back and seeing the tear on Lana’s cheek. 

“Don’t cry!” Christen chuckles as she wipes Lana’s tear, feeling her own eyes tear up. 

“You’re here...in front of me...what the heck?” Lana gently shakes Christen’s shoulders, as if she’s trying to see if Christen is real. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” 

Christen pulls her back into another hug before she’s able to continue, feeling too speechless to say anything, as her own tears fall from her eyes. 

She’s missed her friend so much, and just like Lana, she didn’t think they’d ever get a chance to see each other again. 

“So pundit, huh?” Christen raises her eyebrow once they’ve got their emotions under control. “Do you still play?” 

The last time Christen watched Lana play was when she had her National Team debut, which was at the end of the same camp Christen was meant to have hers. 

They’d both been called up for their first ever senior camp at the same time, so they’d been hoping to debut in the same game. 

Christen still cheered her on from home though, yelling at the television and cheering when she scored. 

Lana’s phone was filled with text messages from Christen, by the time the whistle blew. 

“This was my first time being a pundit, so we’ll see if I ever do it again, but I did play until I got pregnant four years ago.” Lana nods, having retired early. “I decided to retire and just be with my family after that.”

“So what do you do now?” She wonders, wanting to know more about how her friend is doing these days. 

“I’m actually about to take over the US Women’s National Team Youth Teams, as well as coach the under twenty ones. I’ll be in charge of who gets called up for all the different age groups.” Lana explains, only just taking the role over from Laura Harvey. 

“That’s awesome!” Christen compliments, knowing Lana will make an excellent coach with all of the encouragement and experience she brings. 

“What do you do?” Lana wonders in return. Christen hadn’t figured this out yet, when they last spoke. 

“I’m a PE teacher at a local high school now.” Christen explains and Lana gives her a smile right away, knowing that’s something Christen had always wanted to do, if her soccer career didn’t work out. 

“And you have a cute kid.” Vlatko chips in and Christen can’t help but agree right away. He points over to Jeffrey and Olivia as he leaves the comment. 

“What did you do for your child to have an _Uncle Jeff_ jersey on?” Lana teases, not knowing the players on the men’s team well enough to know their families. 

“I married Jeffrey’s sister.” Christen laughs and Lana gives her an impressed look, winking at her. “Oh, nice move!” 

“Is she here?” Lana smirks, and Vlatko knows what’s about to come. “Is this the part where you have to interrogate Christen’s wife and make sure she’s good enough for her?” 

“Even though we’ve been together for years now.” Christen finishes his sentence for him, being too aware that this is a very Lana thing to do. 

“Obviously!” Lana gives her an eager nod. “No, I’m kidding. I’d love to meet her though.” 

Christen moves the conversation away from herself and onto Vlatko and Lana’s personal lives instead, finding out that Lana met her partner in France and got pregnant a few years later, deciding to move back to the United States, so their daughter can grow up living close to both of their families. 

Afterwards, she found that she fell out of love with playing soccer and didn’t want to make the move to a team in the NWSL, instead taking some time off before finding her love for coaching. 

Vlatko eventually has to leave, giving Christen a hug and telling her how good it was to see her again. 

Now that Vlatko is gone, Lana turns to Christen with complete shock again. 

“Okay, but I still can’t believe this! This is so not what I expected today.” Lana doesn’t think she has enough words to describe the state she’s in right now. 

“Me neither!” Christen agrees with a beaming smile. 

“So, how are you?” Lana wonders, meaning the question on a more personal and deeper level this time. 

“I’m really good.” Christen nods truthfully. “And I’m really happy.” 

“I’m glad to hear that you didn’t marry Mr Asshole.” She doesn’t even sugarcoat it, but Lana never liked Michael, so Christen wouldn’t have expected her to. 

It feels strange, having him come up in a conversation, when she hasn’t thought about him for so long. 

Christen starts laughing at her. “Don’t worry, he’s long gone.”

“What’s your wife called?” Lana moves on again with the conversation, not getting hung up on something that happened way in the past. 

“Tobin!” Christen’s face instantly lights up again. “I think you two would get along great. You’d really like her.” 

“If she’s willing to put up with you, then I’m sure I would.” Lana grins as Christen gives her a light shove. 

When they see that the fans are starting to leave the stadium, they exchange numbers, agreeing to catch up soon. Lana is due to fly back home to Missouri tonight, but she’ll be back in Los Angeles again soon, letting Christen know that she would love to meet Tobin then. 

They hug one last time, promising to text each other and stay in touch this time, before Christen climbs back into the now empty stands. 

Tobin and Olivia are waiting for her there, whilst Cindy and Jeff left to go to the restroom. 

“Who was that?” Tobin wonders when Christen is within her earshot. 

“Hi, Livvy.” Christen quickly greets, kissing her daughter's head, before leaning in to kiss her wife’s lips. 

“Vlatko, he was my coach when I played for the Youth National Team.” Christen explains, but Tobin quickly shakes her head, indicating she already knew who he was from pictures of Christen’s soccer days. 

“The woman.” Tobin corrects herself, standing up when Christen grabs her purse.

“Oh, that was Lana.” She says it so casually that she almost makes herself laugh. 

“Lana, Lana?” Tobin wonders, not knowing her last name. “Lana, as in childhood best friend, Lana?” 

Christen’s mouth turns into a big smile, as she nods in Tobin’s direction. 

“No way, that’s so cool!” Tobin beams now too, feeling so happy that her wife got a chance to see her former friend again. “Did you manage to get her number or something, so you guys can catch up properly?” 

Christen nods. “Yeah, we exchanged numbers and she’s flying home today, but she’ll be back in LA again soon.” 

“You should invite her over for dinner when she’s back!” She encourages right away and Christen already knows Tobin and Lana will get on seamlessly. 

“I will.” Christen accepts the offer without hesitation. “I’ll tell you all about it when we have some alone time tonight, but we’re definitely going to start texting and keeping up with each other.”

“I’m so happy for you.” Tobin whispers as she pulls Christen close, kissing her temple. 

She’d reconnected with a ton of her high school friends last year and they all went out together one night, during Tobin and Christen’s time at Perry’s house in New Jersey. Tobin had felt so excited to see them all again, even if she only keeps up with two of them now, so she can just imagine that Christen feels that same excitement after seeing Lana again. 

\-------

December rolls around quickly, which means that it’s not long until Olivia’s first Christmas. 

Tobin and Christen are _so_ excited, not about the presents, even though they can’t wait to spoil her, but about the fact that they get to make their own family traditions now. 

They’re lying on their living room floor, playing with Olivia in the first week of December, when they decide that they’ll put their Christmas tree up tonight. 

Since they’re away again this Christmas, just like every Christmas they’ve spent together so far, they’ll just dig the fake tree out of their basement and put that up. 

Maybe one day they’ll spend Christmas at home and buy a real one, but a fake tree saves them a lot of stress for now. 

Christen likes to take their tree down when they get home, which tends to be in the New Year. 

By then, she’s reached the point of having enough of Christmas and wanting all of the decorations down, so she usually drags Tobin into the living room to help her do it as soon as possible. 

Tobin was the first one to decide on their newest tradition and she’s already making sure that they’ll keep it up. 

She made Christen promise that they would. 

Tobin had gone down the typical route of matching Christmas pyjamas for them to wear, but instead of doing so on Christmas Eve, her suggestion was to do it when they decorate the tree. 

Christen agreed to her idea right away, leaving Tobin in charge of buying all three of them matching Christmas pyjamas. 

And Tobin found some, so now that they’re decorating the tree today, she brings the pyjamas down for all of them to put on. 

Christen really shouldn’t be surprised when she sees the ones Tobin picked out. She knows that she should have expected it. 

They’re red and relatively simple, with _Mrs Claus_ written on the front of Christen and Tobin’s and _Baby Claus_ written on the front of Olivia’s. 

She chuckles as soon as Tobin shows her it, also pulling out a reindeer robe for Olivia, but the pyjamas are so soft that Christen might never take them off again. 

Tobin carries the boxes of decorations out of the basement, whilst Christen connects her phone to their Apple TV and plays the Christmas playlist she made. 

Christen is busy dancing and signing with Olivia on her arms, the little girl giggling at her mother, when Tobin comes back up the stairs. 

She laughs, joining in right away, as they start decorating the tree in the corner of the room. 

Christen holds Olivia as Tobin tries to guide her hands, helping her hand up the baubles and get them on the branches of the tree. 

They’d bought a new one this year, deciding it’s only right to have a personalized one that says _Olivia’s First Christmas_ on it. 

Trying to get Olivia to put up the star is too much of a struggle, since she doesn’t understand what to do with it, so Tobin ends up having to put it up instead. 

She quickly grabs her camera from upstairs, placing it on the tripod and putting the self timer on, informing Christen that they need to take a family picture in front of their tree, but not before Tobin finds all three of them a Santa hat to put on. 

The whole time, Christen can see how happy and relaxed her wife is. 

She’s just being her goofy self and making Christen and Olivia laugh, singing at the top of her lungs and dancing with her two favorite people. 

Christen kisses Olivia’s cheek, holding her close as Olivia giggles at Tobin. “Your Mama is crazy!” 

“Mama!” Olivia keeps giggling, pointing over at Tobin. 

Tobin and Christen both freeze at the same time, their jaws dropping. 

In fact, Christen is so shocked, that she’s surprised she didn’t accidentally drop Olivia. 

“Who’s this, Livvy?” Christen asks her again, trying to confirm that she heard her right, before she starts getting emotional. 

“Mama!” Olivia repeats, not quite understanding what she did, but watching as both her mothers smile widely. 

“That’s right.” Christen nods with teary eyes. “This is your Mama!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I have some very important points that I'd like to ask you to read through :
> 
> 1) I know that IVF isn't this easy and the same goes for some of the other events in this fic, whether it's past or future ones, so please remember that it's an AU and be kind!  
> 2) Usually maternity and paternity leaves are paid in this universe, because that's what parents deserve.  
> 3) In this universe you also have full legal parental rights (without needing to go through the adoption process), even if you didn't carry the child as an LGBTQ+ parent.  
> 4) There are bound to be many mistakes in this, but I don't have the time to reread it right now and really wanted to get this chapter posted. 
> 
> I also have a very big ask of anyone who's still reading this fic :
> 
> The decisions certain players, who are mentioned in this fic, have recently made go completely against my values and what I expected from them. I can't say that I'm surprised, because I'm not, but I'm very upset and heavily disappointed. As a result of this, I know that some authors have been removing those players from their fics or changing the name of the character. I have, and always will, view this fic as an Alternate Universe. One where they're all kind and loving people, who actually care about the lives of others instead of being selfish idiots, but I understand that not everyone is going to be able to identify the differences that easily. Writing this story has been my escape for the past few months (a much needed escape) for the past few months and I love the way some of the relationships have been portrayed in this, especially Kelley and Christen's, even if the thought of Kelley speaking about her being the victim makes me want to puke and say some words that aren't the kindest. The same goes for Julie, Zach, Serv and Alex's actions. So, for you as a reader, please share your honest opinions with me. 
> 
> Do I continue writing this fic, which I would really love to do? Do I keep these characters? Do I pull a Shona Rhimes and kill them all off? Do I go back and change their names right from the start, and we pretend that Christen went to College with someone else? 
> 
> Please let me know, because I want readers to enjoy this fic, but like I understand that not everybody is going to be able to view this as an Alternate Universe and see them as characters, instead of real people. I just want your honest opinion please, no matter what it is, because I want to take this into consideration and see what the people who keep up with this fic think.
> 
> -
> 
> Lastly, I has to copy and paste like 6182637 sections of this chapter to update, so if anything seems like it's missing or doesn't make sense, please lmk.


	26. Everything I Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got everything I wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 1 year anniversary to this fic!! 
> 
> A huge thank you to everyone who reads my updates and leaves feedback on them. I always love to read through the comments and I'm so happy to see that people are still enjoying this fic.

They’re currently having a lazy Sunday. 

Well, it was supposed to be a lazy and peaceful Sunday, but right this second, it’s not very peaceful. 

Not when Olivia’s screaming and crying is all they’ve been hearing over the baby monitor for the past five minutes. 

This has been a regular occurrence lately, more on weekends than anything else, almost as if the young girl is afraid to miss out on something important. 

They tried leaving her, wanting to see whether she settles down, but considering her cries just keep getting louder and louder, their attempted method wasn’t very successful. 

“You know, I love our daughter so much, but I’m going to be  _ so  _ glad when she’s not teething anymore and then maybe, just maybe, she’ll stay in bed by herself for more than five minutes.” Tobin lets out through a sigh as she watches Olivia through the baby monitor, seeing that there’s no chance of her calming down any time soon. 

Christen nods in agreement to Tobin’s sentence, chuckling lightly as she decides to go upstairs and hopefully calm Olivia down.

She enters Olivia’s nursery, watching as her daughter kicks the air with every scream. 

As soon as she sees Christen, she stretches her arms out. 

“Mommy!” She cries out, opening and closing her fists to gain her mother’s attention. “Mommy!” 

“Mommy is here!” Christen soothes, picking her up and holding Olivia close. 

She bounces Olivia a little on her arm, rubbing her back as Olivia holds onto the hood of Christen’s hoodie. 

“Mommy.” She mumbles quieter this time, finally calming down and breathing normally again. 

“I’m here, Livvy.” Christen whispers, continuing her motions on Olivia’s back. “It’s okay.” 

She feels small hands cling onto her shoulders, holding her a little tighter, as if Christen is about to disappear. 

“You’re supposed to be napping right now, not screaming and crying!” Christen chuckles, tilting her head so it’s resting against her daughter’s. 

When she sees that Olivia is back to breathing normally and the tears from her eyes are gone, she walks towards the crib again, deciding to have one more attempt at putting her down. 

Unsurprisingly, Olivia starts squirming again before Christen even reaches the crib. 

“Okay, I got the message, no nap today.” She tells her, instead grabbing Olivia’s elephant blankie from the crib and handing it to her. “But don’t come crying when you’re tired in a couple of hours!” 

As soon as they get to the bottom of the stairs, Tobin looks up from her phone, turning it off and stretching her arms out with excitement. “Livvy!” 

“Mama.” Olivia mumbles with a smile, stretching her arms out in Tobin’s direction. 

“Oh, so I get you out of bed and bring you downstairs, when all you really wanted was to go to Mama?” Christen teases in an offended tone. “I see how it is!” 

Tobin laughs at Christen’s tone, instantly making Olivia giggle too. 

She does this whenever one of her mothers smile or laugh, trying to copy them and noticing that it makes them even happier. 

“Pfft!” Christen huffs. “Fine! You two have fun without me then.” 

“We love you!” Tobin winks, taking Olivia into her arms. 

Olivia is busy trying to chew on her blankie and squirming around in Tobin’s arms, so she puts Olivia down on the floor, trying to find a toy for them to play with in the box they keep downstairs. 

The look on Christen’s face grows with amusement, as soon as she watches Olivia crawl away from Tobin. 

She tries to keep a serious facial expression, going back to making Tobin and her some lunch, like they’d originally been planning to do until Olivia refused to fall asleep. 

Tobin turns around again, no longer rummaging through the toys and instead looking to see where her daughter is. 

“Babe, where did Olivia go?” Tobin asks, her head whipping around and into the direction of her wife, when she can’t spot Olivia anywhere. “How is this kid so fast?” 

Christen shrugs, not giving her an answer, but Tobin can tell that her wife is trying not to laugh by how hard she’s biting down on her lip. 

She walks around to the back of the sofa, seeing that Christen’s magazine must have fallen on the floor, which Olivia now has in her mouth. 

Tobin laughs, picking her up and taking the magazine from her. 

“Livvy, you can’t eat that.” She chuckles, putting it back down on the sofa. “I don’t think your Mommy is going to be very happy when she finds that the corner of her magazine is all chewed up.” 

Christen laughs, looking up at Tobin. “Which one is it?” 

“Your dog one.” Tobin answers in a knowing tone, earning a smile from Christen. “Oh, I love that one!” 

“You never read it!” Tobin furrows her eyebrows, not believing her wife for even a second. 

“I-” Christen begins, realizing she doesn’t have a good argument to that point. 

She tilts her head as she looks between the magazine and Christen. “I still don’t know why you subscribed to it, when I wasn’t allowed to subscribe to my surfing one!” 

“Because you wouldn’t read it if you’d subscribe to it!” Christen states the obvious - or what she thinks is the obvious. 

“Yes, I would.” Tobin defends with a frown. “And you don’t read yours!” 

“But the pictures of the dogs are so cute, baby.” She looks at Tobin with a pout. “I walked past it and I couldn’t not buy it, and then the cashier told me that I’ll love it and should subscribe to the magazine.” 

Tobin laughs, knowing how easily her wife can be convinced to do something if it involves dogs. “If you’re gonna spend money on it, then you should at least read through it.” 

“Fine, I’ll unsubscribe.” Christen mumbles in a defeated tone. “Poor pups!” 

“I’m sure they’ll survive without one extra person  _ looking  _ at pictures of them every month.” She casually comments. 

“Don’t be rude to them, Tob!” She gasps, and Tobin throws her hands up in defense, laughing at her wife. “I wasn’t!” 

She makes her way past Christen, quickly kissing her cheek. “I love you, even if you love dogs more than me.” 

“Actually, I think you can keep first place.” Christen tugs her arm back, softly kissing her lips. “I love you and Olivia the most.” 

“Well, aren’t we lucky.” She smiles, before Olivia squirms again, clearly wanting to go down. 

Tobin leaves, sitting down on the floor to play with Olivia, whilst Christen keeps cooking. 

She just watches the two of them with a soft smile, setting the table and getting two plates out. 

“You have a meeting with Kristie tomorrow, don’t you?” Christen wonders, trying to recall if she’s thinking of the correct date, considering they have quite a few things coming up over the next couple of weeks. 

Tobin pops back up from where she’d been picking up the piece of chicken Olivia dropped. 

This has been a new development for them recently - trying to teach Olivia how to use a spoon. 

She wanted to eat independently from very early on, not long after they introduced her to solid foods. For weeks and weeks after that, she refused to eat unless she was feeding herself, which meant Tobin and Christen had to make her  _ a lot  _ of finger foods. 

Now though, that she’s more than used to feeding herself, they’re trying to teach her how to use a spoon. 

To say it’s going well isn’t quite how they’d describe it, but they just remember that it could be going a lot worse. 

She’s slowly getting the hang of it, even if half of the food ends up anywhere but in Olivia’s mouth. 

“Yeah, that’s tomorrow.” Tobin nods, even though she’s not sure it counts as an official meeting. “It’s right at the end of the day, but it shouldn’t take long.” 

“Okay, so I’m guessing we’ll take separate cars tomorrow then?” Christen wonders, knowing that they don’t want to leave Olivia at daycare longer than necessary, especially if one of them has the time to pick her up and go home. 

“I think that’ll be easiest.” She tries to think over how they could organize the following day. 

Christen nods slowly. “So I’ll pick Livvy up from daycare once I’m done for the day, and then you can just come home after your meeting?” 

“That should work.” Tobin agrees with Christen’s plan, making sure they’re clear. “I’ll take her to daycare tomorrow morning then, if you’re the one picking her up.” 

“Okay-” Christen begins to speak, when she watches a spoon of Olivia’s mashed potatoes fall onto the floor. 

She pulls a face, trying to be patient and not saying anything. 

Tobin stands up, going to clean up the floor, but of course it happens again. 

It’s gone before Christen can even turn her head to look at the floor, but she can tell by the look in Christen’s eyes that her wife is tired and beginning to feel stressed. 

Tobin knows that Christen is trying not to get upset with Olivia, as she knows that Olivia really is trying and can’t help accidentally dropping some food in the process, but Christen is struggling to do so. 

Which is probably why she’s biting her lip down so hard right now, stopping herself from saying anything, and taking a deep breath instead. 

Tobin stands up again once she finishes her own food, walking over to Christen and sitting down on the chair next to her. 

“Hey, look at me.” She softly requests, waiting for Christen’s eyes to meet her own. “Relax.”

Christen nods, taking a deep breath, but continuing to bite her lip. 

“It’s okay.” Tobin leans in to kiss her, trying to stop Christen from chewing her lip, before she ends up accidentally drawing blood from it. 

Christen relaxes when she feels Tobin’s fingers lightly massage her shoulder. 

“It’s okay to feel frustrated sometimes, but she doesn’t mean to make a mess, so you can’t get upset with her.” She speaks quietly as she lovingly squeezes Christen’s shoulder. 

“I know, I’m trying not to get upset.” Christen twirls her thumbs, looking down again. 

“I know you are.” Tobin nods, because she really does know. “We’ve all been there - we’ve all launched food everywhere whilst learning how to eat.” 

Christen gives her a small nod. 

“Jeffrey was  _ the worst  _ at it!” Tobin chuckles as she recalls a memory, holding Christen close. “I remember it so well, we had food on the curtains, on the floor, on my grandparents’ dog - everywhere! He couldn’t hold a spoon to save his life, but he refused to eat unless he was feeding himself.”

“And it also had to be the exact same spoon every single time, or he wouldn't even touch his food.” She finishes her short story. 

Christen laughs as she rests her head against Tobin’s chest. 

“Babe, she’s doing a great job!” She assures her, kissing the top of Christen’s head. “She’s already so independent for her age and we’re doing a good job, I promise. It’s just a bit of trial and error in the process.” 

Tobin feels as Christen takes a deep breath and nods, because she knows very well that Tobin is right. 

“These things, they happen, but they’re also super quick and easy to clean up.” She rubs Christen’s arm, trying to comfort her. “She’s still a baby, even if she’s growing up way too fast for my liking.”

Christen nods, just barely nudging Tobin’s chin from where her head is resting. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize, there’s nothing to apologize for!” Tobin softly corrects her. “Just don’t get upset with her for something she can’t control yet.” 

She gives Christen a little space for a moment, making sure she can calm herself down whilst Olivia finishes eating. 

They clear the dishes away afterwards, before deciding to follow through with their plans of a lazy Sunday and move onto the sofa to relax. 

The three of them cuddle up together with a blanket, as Christen searches through Netflix to find Olivia some cartoons for them to watch. 

After being awake all day without a nap, Olivia is quick to fall asleep on the sofa. 

Christen reaches for the remote behind her, trying not to wake Olivia as she points it towards the television and switches Netflix accounts. 

“Hey!” Tobin whispers in a defensive tone.

“What?” Christen turns her head towards her wife.

“I wanted to keep watching Paw Patrol.” She pouts as Christen starts laughing. “You’re a child.”

Tobin narrows her eyes at Christen, so her wife repeats the words. “A child!” 

She huffs, turning back to face the television screen. “You better put something good on.” 

Christen passes the remote over to Tobin. “I’ll let you pick, before I end up in more trouble! Just don’t put Tiger King on.” 

“I wasn’t planning on watching that...like ever.” She skims through the television series, trying to find out that looks interesting. 

Christen looks down, running her hand through Olivia’s hair. “She must be so tired now.” 

“She hasn’t napped all day and it’s already early afternoon.” Tobin comments as she selects a show for them to watch, making herself comfortable again. 

“I know.” Christen nods, smiling as she moves closer too. “You two melt my heart.” 

And since Olivia definitely has her ability of falling asleep anywhere at any time from Tobin, the latter falls asleep too, not even making it through one episode. 

Christen reaches for the remote again, deciding she’ll just find herself a chick flick to put on. She might as well enjoy the rare opportunity to have both of her girls with her, whilst also being able to watch a movie that neither of them take any interest in. 

It’s something that doesn’t happen enough for Christen’s liking. 

Sure, Tobin watches them with her, but she definitely isn’t a big fan of them and tends to either fall asleep or just end up doing her own thing. 

Although, they rarely watch television anyway.

The only time Christen has regularly watched television was during her pregnancy and the early weeks of her maternity leave, when she was on the sofa more than anything else. 

She did get through an impressive amount of books in that time too though. 

They’ve started switching it on a little more now that they’ve started watching some cartoons with Olivia, but Christen doesn’t think that counts. 

She knows that Olivia and Tobin will likely sleep through the whole movie, so she can actually watch a movie in peace for once. 

Olivia is pretty good with sleeping now, unless she has one of her moments where she can’t be away from Christen and Tobin, which has been happening more and more whilst she’s teething. 

When the movie finishes, Christen quietly switches the television off, looking down at Olivia again. 

Suddenly, she feels the guilt rushing over her from earlier. 

She doesn’t mean to lose her patience sometimes, especially because she considers herself to be a pretty patient person. It just happens. 

Christen lightly rubs her thumb over Olivia’s hand, trying not to wake her up. 

“I’m so sorry, Livvy.” She whispers, moving down a little, so she can be closer to Olivia. “I love you so much and I’ll try to be better, I promise.” 

She feels upset at herself for making these little mistakes, so she decides that doing some yoga and meditation to ground herself would be a good idea right now. 

Christen stands up, making sure that Olivia is still safe in Tobin’s arm, even without her lying on the other side. 

She moves the blanket back up and leaves a kiss on both of their heads before heading towards the patio door, heading outside to meditate a little and make some time for herself. 

\-------

Christen picks Olivia up from daycare as soon as she finishes work, the following day. 

This might be one of her favorite things - it’s something that makes her day every single time. 

No matter how many times Tobin and Christen have picked Olivia up from daycare, she always has the same reaction. 

Christen walks down the familiar corridor, before opening the door and spotting Sam. 

“Hey, Christen!” She greets right away, as Christen flashes her a smile. 

She spots Olivia right away, sitting on the floor in front of Sam. 

Olivia spots her in that moment too, after turning her head to see who walked into the room. 

“Mommy!” A smile makes its way onto Olivia’s face, as she stretches her arms out in Christen’s direction. 

Sam chuckles, seeing this happen every day, whenever Tobin or Christen walk through the door. 

“Hi, my sweet girl!” Christen picks Olivia up, holding her close as she leaves a kiss on Olivia’s cheek. “Are you ready to go home?” 

Olivia tiredly rests her head down on Christen’s shoulder, playing with the strings of her mother’s hoodie. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Christen chuckles, leaving another kiss on Olivia’s head. 

She has a short conversation with Sam, before another parent walks in, causing Sam to divert her attention away from them. 

Christen grabs Olivia’s things, making sure she’s got everything, before heading towards the car. 

“Mama.” Olivia mumbles as Christen gets her into the car. 

The young girl knows their routine by now. 

She knows that one of them comes to pick her up from inside and then the other greets her as soon as she gets into the car. 

That’s how it goes most days, except from days like today. 

“We’ll see Mama at home.” Christen explains as she moves to get into the car too. “She’s with Kristie right now!” 

She looks into the rear view mirror, seeing that Olivia is already distracted and that now would be a good time to put the car into reverse. 

\-------

They haven’t been home long by the time Tobin walks in through the front door. 

Olivia is sitting in her high chair, snacking on some small cubes of pear, when Christen hears Tobin’s car pull up outside. 

The sound of a key turning rings through the house a second later, before they hear the door open and Tobin walk in. 

As soon as Tobin rounds the corner, Christen can tell something is wrong. 

She has a frown on her face, clearly unhappy. 

Christen walks up to Tobin, trying to test the waters and see whether Tobin’s angry or just feeling down. 

“Hey, you.” She greets softly, leaning in to kiss Tobin. 

Her wife kisses her back without hesitation, reassuring Christen that she isn’t upset at her. 

Olivia looks up from her snack at that moment, spotting Tobin and grinning. 

“Mama!” She announces excitedly, seeing Tobin for the first time since this morning. 

“Hey, Livvy!” Tobin walks over with a smile, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. 

She lightly wraps her arms around her daughter, leaving a kiss on her head and then moving away again. 

Christen furrows her eyebrows, going up to her wife and taking Tobin’s head into her hands. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” She wonders and Tobin’s eyes meet her own for a split second, until they search the room to locate her bag. 

Tobin leaves to grab a piece of paper out of it, before handing it over to Christen. 

Christen’s eyes scan the document, seeing that it’s the game schedule for the rest of this calendar year - it having changed after a few schools had to postpone their games, causing all fixtures to be rescheduled for different dates. 

It takes her a long moment to notice the issue and realize just why Tobin’s upset. 

She spots it as soon as she looks at the schedule for the couple of games that they play further away, where the team stays over at a hotel for a couple of nights. 

She looks back at Tobin, noticing that her eyes are now teary from being upset and having a long, exhausting day. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Christen begins, just wanting to keep Tobin from stressing about this first. 

“No, it’s not.” Tobin shakes her head right away, biting her lip. “I can’t miss my daughter’s first birthday, I refuse to, but this is my job and the team can’t go alone, so what am I supposed to do?” 

Christen reaches up to cup Tobin’s cheeks, rubbing her thumb as she encourages the older woman to meet her eyes. 

“So what do you want to do?” She already knows that there’s only one right answer to this and that Tobin will pick the correct one - Christen would definitely put her foot down if she doesn’t - but she wants Tobin to slowly process this before making it into a big situation. 

“That’s not even a question, I’m obviously going to stay at home with you two.” Tobin doesn’t hesitate to respond, just like Christen expected her to. “You’re my priority and always will be.”

“Family over everything, remember?” Tobin repeats from the promises they made to each other the night before their wedding. “Work is the last thing I’d ever choose over my family, but I just hate feeling like I’m letting someone down.” 

“Tomorrow, I’m going to come with you and we’ll speak to Kristie.” Christen suggests, knowing Tobin just needs some reassurance. “We’ll explain this and see if we can just email their school to move it, okay?” 

Tobin nods, leaning into Christen and closing her eyes as she takes a deep breath.

“Don’t stress.” Christen whispers into Tobin’s ear as she runs her hand down her back. “It’s all going to work out.” 

And Christen is right because it does work out. 

They end up playing the game a month earlier, Christen going along too and having permission to take Olivia with her, who’s proudly wearing a Mira Costa jersey, whilst being on Christen’s arm on the sidelines. 

\-------

Tobin quietly walks down the stairs, knowing that Olivia is still asleep and not wanting to wake her up. 

Olivia had some struggles falling asleep last night, which was the first time in a long time. 

She’s been really good with sleeping over the past couple of months, but last night showed the complete opposite of that. 

Olivia was even good when they were away for the game, which meant she was sleeping in a hotel room for the first time. 

She woke up at three o’clock last night, staying awake all the way past six o’clock. It’s not seven yet, so she knows that Olivia won’t wake up for a while, maybe even until midday. 

Christen, who’s quietly humming to herself as she grabs a glass of water, comes into Tobin’s view as soon as she reaches the bottom step. 

The baby monitor is next to her, the screen showing Olivia in so deep sleep, that she might as well be snoring. 

Tobin stalls for a moment, just taking a second to admire Christen. 

Christen, who is standing there in nothing but Tobin’s boxers and one of her old UNC shirts, with  _ Heath 98 _ written across the back of it. 

The shirt reveals Christen’s hard nipples from the cold, as her bed hair of curls is tied up in a messy bun, revealing even more of Christen’s skin. 

She thinks Christen might have just killed her. 

“Fuck.” Tobin mutters under her breath, quietly making her way over to Christen. 

She wraps her arms around Christen’s waist from behind, leaving a kiss on her neck as she feels Christen shiver from the unexpected contact. 

“This is torture.” Tobin whispers into her ear. “You’re making it  _ really  _ hard not to fuck you right now.” 

Christen turns around in Tobin’s arms, raising an eyebrow at her. “Who said that I don’t want you to?” 

Tobin’s lips crash into her after hearing that challenge, slotting her tongue into Christen’s mouth without a second thought. 

“Take me back to bed.” Christen whispers as she pulls away for a split second, Tobin taking her hand and dragging her up the stairs again. 

Christen kills her once again later on, whilst being way too aware of the effect she has on Tobin.

She kills her again after kissing her way down Tobin’s body and after making Tobin orgasm not once, not twice, but three times. 

Or maybe even four times? 

Christen’s not so sure anymore. 

She definitely lost count when her mind went blank, after Tobin sucked on the soft skin of her neck. 

And then Christen kills Tobin again, when she wears those exact same clothes afterwards, just with Tobin’s Nike sweatpants on top. 

Christen makes sure that Tobin can still see the edge of the boxers though, silently loving the way her wife’s eyes linger on her hips for a second longer each time, and she already knows that Tobin will be the one undressing her tonight. 

But right now, she really has to get her mind out of the gutter and instead focus on the book she’s reading. 

Olivia was awake for a few hours, during which both of them played with her, until they put her down again for a short nap, not wanting to mess with her sleeping schedule any more than they already have. 

Tobin is sitting on the opposite side of the sofa, scrolling through her phone, as Christen attempts to read her book once again.

Tobin taps Christen’s ankle with her feet, as if she even needed to do something to get Christen’s attention in first place. 

“How many pages of that book have you got left?” Tobin wonders and Christen gives her a confused look.

“I don’t know.” She shrugs, looking down at the page number and skimming towards the back of the book. “Just over two hundred.” 

“How many have you got left of this chapter?” Tobin tries again, making Christen furrow her eyebrows. 

Christen flicks through a few pages. “These chapters are quite long, so around ten.”

“Ugh!” Tobin groans, dropping her head back with annoyance. 

“What?” She giggles at Tobin’s reaction, unsure as to why that’s such an issue. 

Tobin crosses her arms, meeting Christen’s eyes. “You’ve been reading for  _ so long _ now.” 

“It’s been like half an hour.” Christen rolls her eyes at how dramatic her wife is. 

“Which is the same as forever.” She defends, sticking her bottom lip out into a pout. “I want some attention now!” 

“You’re so needy.” She laughs, putting her book to the side and opening her arms out. 

Tobin kneels up, shuffling over to Christen and draping herself over the body underneath her. 

“With how clingy you are, you wouldn’t think that we’ve been together for over six years now.” Chicken wraps her own arms around Tobin, feeling the older woman nuzzle her face into her neck. 

Her head shoots up at that, looking into Christen’s eyes with her own growing wide. “It has not been six years!” 

“Yes, it has.” She goes over the years again in her head. “We got married a few months before our third anniversary, and it’s been three and a half years since our wedding.” 

Tobin’s jaw drops as she goes over Christen’s calculations. “Apparently time flies when you’re spending it with your favorite person.” 

Christen watches as Tobin’s face turns puzzled for a moment, clearly going over the calculations once again. 

She shakes her head, dragging herself out of her thoughts and speaking up again. “How are you not sick of me yet?” 

“Oh, I am. Why do you think I do yoga every morning?” Christen teases, grinning at the shocked look on Tobin’s face. 

“Hey!” Tobin pouts, that clearly not being the response she was looking for. 

“You were the one who asked!” She chuckles at her wife’s reaction, squeezing her hip to let her know that she’s only joking. 

“It was a rhetorical question, Chris.” She mumbles, resting her head down again. “I was just thinking out loud.” 

“You’ll be glad to know that I’m only kidding.” Christen reaches for Tobin’s chin, lifting her head up so she can plant a kiss on Tobin’s lips. “There are worse people I could be forced to put up with.”

“This just keeps getting better.” Tobin turns her head, hiding it in Christen’s skin and just ignoring her instead. 

“You already know the real reasons why we’re still doing this together.” She lightly runs her finger down Tobin’s spine. 

Tobin hums with a nod, answering as a grin grows on her face. “Because you’re madly and hopelessly in love with me and just can’t resist me?” 

Christen giggles, squeezing Tobin for a short moment. “Exactly. I just can’t stay away from you, Tobin Heath.”

“Well, it’s a good job that I like having you around then!” She goes along with the joke. 

Tobin can hear the thumping of Christen’s heart start to speed up, from where her ear is resting on Christen’s chest. 

She thinks about speaking up, saying something and asking Christen to spill the thoughts on her mind, but when she feels the younger woman take a deep breath, she recognizes that she’s taking a moment to compose herself. 

Christen isn’t even sure why she’s nervous to bring this up. 

_ It’s only Tobin, I can tell her anything and she’ll always be honest with me. _

Christen shakes her head, telling herself that she’s being unreasonable now and to just start spilling her thoughts. 

“You know how we want our kids to be close in age?” Christen questions and Tobin hums. 

They discussed this before having Olivia, so she’s more than aware of what Christen is talking about. 

“Do you think that maybe we should start planning for our second child?” Her voice is quieter this time, almost shy, but Tobin still hears every word. “I know it feels very soon to think about having another child, and it feels like I only just gave birth to Olivia last week, but we did say we want all of our kids to have around a two year age difference, pretty much like you, Perry and Katie.” 

“So I thought that if we start talking to Dr Stoney again about everything and make appointments with her, then by the time I’m pregnant and would eventually give birth, another year will have passed? Or at least Olivia will still be under three years old?” 

“You’re rambling.” Tobin smiles, kissing Christen’s lips to cut her off, just like she does every time Christen starts nervously rambling on. 

“I just think that it would make sense to do that?” She just continues though and Tobin tries hard not to chuckle, because upsetting Christen is the last thing she wants to do. “I don’t mean now as in right this second, but maybe we could start setting up an appointment for after Olivia’s birthday?” 

“Babe.” Tobin kisses her once again. “That idea sounds perfect to me.” 

“It does?” Christen gives her a hopeful look. 

She gives her a reassuring nod. “As long as you’re happy with it, yes.” 

Christen feels her chest bubbling with happiness as she tightens her hold on Tobin. 

Based on the way Christen worded her sentence, it sounds like she’s planning on carrying their next child too, but Tobin doesn’t want to assume anything and it’s perfectly fine if Christen doesn’t want to, so she double checks. 

“Would you want to go through pregnancy again or should I consider carrying our next child or should we explore other options?” She wonders, looking for her wife’s opinion.

“I don’t want you to carry one of our kids, unless you’re one hundred percent certain that you want to.” Christen quickly explains, wanting to talk about this before she answers. “I don’t want you to ever feel like you have to  _ consider  _ it. If you ever want to, then I’m more than happy for you to do so, but I don’t want you to feel pressured to ever make that decision. That’s something only you can decide and if you don’t want to, then that’s perfectly fine too.” 

“And I was kind of hoping that I could go through pregnancy again?” She requests, continuing on and answering Tobin’s question. “I really liked how close it made me feel to you and Olivia, and all of the magical things about pregnancy. As long as you’re willing to put up with my mood swings again.”

“I think I’ll be just fine, as long as you let me take care of you.” Tobin chuckles, shaking her head, before letting out a content sigh and nuzzling further into Christen. 

Christen’s phone lights up with a message as they’re lying there in silence, the picture of Tobin, Christen and Olivia appearing in the background. 

Tobin smiles to herself as she realizes that it will eventually turn into a picture of four. 

She can’t even imagine how much she’ll love Christen by then. 

\----------

There’s only really one issue with having two mothers. 

Well, it’s only an issue if you have two mothers who are good at remembering these things, but it’s still an issue.

Especially when you’re young and don’t get a say in these things or get to plan something by yourself. 

And that issue is Mother’s Day. 

It’s not so much a problem in the sense of it being a day where you show your love for both of your parents, and not celebrating Father’s Day, but more in the sense of being stuck with two mothers who want to show nothing but love and appreciation towards each other. 

So, in that case, it’s about who wakes up first. 

Tobin even set herself a quiet alarm in the hopes of waking up first, but somehow Christen still beats her to it. 

She does stir awake when Christen slowly moves out of Tobin’s hold and towards the edge of the bed though - the temperature change being too big to keep her asleep. 

“No.” Tobin mumbles in a raspy voice, still coming out of her sleep. 

She mumbles a bunch of words that don’t form any sort of sentences, not that Christen could understand them anyway. 

“What was that?” Christen moves back onto the bed, lying down on top of the duvet for now. 

Tobin rolls over to face Christen, slowly opening her eyes. “You need to go back to sleep. I was supposed to get up first.”

Christen chuckles from her place next to Tobin, looking down at her wife’s disappointed face. 

“You know we can just do it together right? Even though my plan was to spoil you  _ all day  _ long.” She suggests, knowing that this was likely Tobin’s plan too. 

“I wanted to make you breakfast in bed though!” Tobin whines, rolling onto her stomach and hiding her face in her pillow. 

“I’d say we can still do that, but I think it might get a little messy if we let Livvy eat her breakfast in our bed.” She doesn’t even want to think about how much food would end up on their duvet, before deciding that this definitely isn’t a good idea. 

  
  


Christen looks up at the picture on the baby monitor. “How about we get Liv, who is stretching her arms right now, and make breakfast all together?”

“Fine!” Tobin grumbles, rolling out of bed and tiredly walking over to the other side of the room, wanting to grab a hoodie and sweatpants. 

“Happy First Mother’s Day, baby.” Christen smiles softly as she kisses Tobin’s lips, before making her way over to Olivia’s room. 

“Why isn’t there a designated Mama’s Day and Mommy’s Day?” She thinks out loud as she walks down the stairs behind Tobin, Olivia happily nuzzling into her. 

“Babe, I’m pretty sure that’s just our birthdays.” Tobin laughs when she comes to think about it. 

They make breakfast together, deciding to make pancakes, since Olivia likes those too. 

“These are for mine and Olivia’s favorite person.” Christen announces with a small smile as she hands Tobin a bouquet of flowers, her favorite chocolate attached to them, as well as a note. 

Tobin turns the small note around, her eyes welling up and turning teary as she reads the short, but sweet, writing on it. 

_ Happy Mother’s Day to the best mother and wife out there. Thank you for being the most caring and supportive person in our lives. We adore everything about you, baby. I can’t wait to see where life takes us and what the future holds. We love you the most.  _

And, well, turns out Tobin has flowers of her own to give to Christen. 

After eating their breakfast, they head out to the beach, spending the day there as they try to teach Olivia how to build sandcastles, which doesn’t go too well.

Not that they had high expectations for it in first place. 

They bathe Olivia as soon as they get home, trying to get all of the sand off her body. 

Olivia loves baths though. She loves playing with her rubber ducks and splashing herself in the face. 

If Christen notices that Olivia’s rubber duck collection still seems to be growing, then she doesn’t mention it. 

At least she bites her tongue and just about stops herself from laughing, whenever she spots a new one. 

But Christen only lets Olivia pick seven to take with her every time she goes into the bath, much to Tobin’s disappointment. 

They end the night all together on the sofa, with Tobin reading one of Olivia’s books out loud. 

\-------

Only a couple of days later, and it’s already Olivia’s first birthday. 

Christen can’t quite believe how fast the past year has gone, feeling like it’s all flown by. 

Her little girl is getting older already and it won’t be long until she starts walking by herself. 

They walk into Olivia’s room together as soon as she’s awake, Tobin picking her up, as they both start singing Happy Birthday to her. 

Olivia is giggling the whole time, finding it hilarious that her parents are dancing and singing, something that always put her in a good mood. 

Christen starts peppering her face in kisses afterwards, making her laugh to the point where Christen has to stop, fearing that her daughter might pass out if she doesn’t start taking a breath in between her laughter. 

They spoil her with attention for the full day, something Olivia loves and could definitely get used to. 

It feels like they never took their eyes off of her for the full twenty-four hours. 

Fran, Channing and Mikel all come around after breakfast, as well as Tyler and her family. 

Kelley comes over to their house in the afternoon too, being the one to tire Olivia out by playing with her, so she has a good nights sleep after all of the excitement throughout the day. 

Isaac was more than happy to help Olivia open her presents, trying to show her how to open the wrapping paper, just like Cole had done on Christmas. 

Of course Christen and Tobin had to follow their tradition and bake Olivia a cake. 

Isaac was the one to also help Olivia blow out her candle, making her believe that she did it all by herself. 

As it turns out, Olivia also has a love for chocolate cake - just like Tobin - even if she ended up looking like a chocolate cake herself after eating one slice. 

They spend most of the day in the sun, sitting outside in the backyard and eating ice cream, until they get too warm and move onto the patio instead. 

Olivia occupies herself by exploring her new toys with Tobin and Christen’s help, until she eventually ends up napping in Fran’s lap, passing out halfway through the day from how much is going on around her. 

Christen insists on only feeding Olivia her favorite meals and snacks that day, which is a lot easier, now that she can use her spoon successfully most of the time. 

And when everything is over and they’re the only ones left at home, then Christen and Tobin are left to clean the house. 

They get done fairly quickly though, both being so tired from their day that they get ready for bed right away. 

When Tobin goes to put Olivia down, waiting on Christen to come and join her, Olivia refuses. She refuses before Tobin even has a chance, just tightly clinging onto her mother’s shoulders. 

Tobin assumes it’s just her tiredness, causing her to be clingy and not wanting to be by herself. 

“Livvy, you have to go to sleep.” Tobin whispers to her, trying her best to get the young girl down again. 

“No! Mama!” She cries into Tobin’s ear, the tears making their way down her cheeks. 

“What’s going on in here, Livvy?” Christen walks up behind Tobin as she enters the room, looking into her daughter’s hazel eyes. “What are these tears for?” 

“Mommy!” She simply stretches her arms out and as soon as Tobin goes to pass her daughter to Christen, she reaches over in Tobin’s direction again. “Mama!” 

Christen chuckles, holding Olivia close in her arms. “Okay, come on. You’re lucky that you’re adorable.” 

She takes Tobin’s hand, dragging them both over into Tobin and Christen’s bedroom and moving under the duvet. 

Olivia stops crying as soon as Tobin settles under the other side of the duvet. 

Christen pulls it up to her shoulders, lying Olivia down in between them, on top of the duvet, and draping a light blanket over her daughter. 

“Don’t get used to this, Livvy. It’s only because it’s your birthday.” She tells her in a stern voice, as if Olivia would understand or care. 

She isn’t sure who she’s trying to convince here, Olivia, Tobin or herself, because she already knows that there’ll be plenty more times whilst Olivia is growing up, where Tobin and Christen will be too weak to say no. 

Tobin shuffles as close as possible, lightly draping her arm over Olivia, as she reaches for Christen and squeezes her hand. 

“I love you both so much.” She mumbles as she rests her hand on Olivia’s arm, lying in a way that allows her to feel if Olivia stirs throughout the night.

“Me too.” Christen whispers as she makes herself comfortable, seeing that Olivia is already drifting off to sleep. “Good night, my loves.” 

She presses a light kiss to Olivia’s head, moving a little further under the covers and closing her eyes. 

\-------

Christen jumps up as soon as she hears the doorbell, opening the front door with a beaming smile. 

“Hey!” Lana greets as soon as the door opens. 

“Hey, Lana.” She pulls the woman into a hug, before inviting her inside. 

Tobin makes her way over to the pair, having waited in the kitchen as Christen opened the door. 

“Lana, this is my wife, Tobin! Tobs, this is Lana!” She introduces the pair and Tobin pulls Lana into a warm hug right away.

“It’s so great to meet you.” Lana smiles, having looked forward to this day for quite a while now. 

“You too!” Tobin returns the look on Lana’s face. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

“I don’t know if you guys drink, but I brought two bottles of wine! One red and one white, because I didn’t know if you’d have a preference.” She presents the bottles to the pair of them with a shrug. 

“I don’t, but Tobin does.” Christen nudges her, knowing that she’ll go with her usual  _ I don’t have to drink if you’re not drinking,  _ but Christen just wants her to have a nice afternoon. 

“I should have known that you don’t drink, Pressi.” Lana chuckles, having been there all of the times that Christen turned down a drink growing up. “Am I even allowed to call you that anymore or should I change it to Heathy?” 

Tobin can definitely see the similarity in Kelley and Lana’s goofiness, just like Christen had mentioned many times in the past. 

“I haven’t drank since I had Olivia.” She shrugs, there not being much more to it. “I just haven’t felt like having alcohol since then.” 

Tobin tries to hide her smile, knowing the other reason as to why Christen isn’t drinking, even if what she just said is the truth. 

Or at least  _ hoping  _ that this is the other reason, if everything goes well.

“Speaking of Olivia, is she here?” Lana wonders with excitement, noticing that she isn’t downstairs. 

“Kelley’s looking after her this afternoon.” Christen begins as Tobin chuckles. “More like Olivia’s looking after Kelley.” 

“Kelley, Kelley?” Lana tries to rack her brain for Kelley’s last name. “Your drunk friend, Kelley?”

Tobin bursts out laughing at the phrase Lana used, knowing all too well that you could still refer to Kelley as that now. 

Some things never change. 

“Kelley O’Hara, yeah.” Christen nods, confirming that Lana is talking about the right person. 

“No way, you guys are still friends? That’s so cool!” She knows Kelley from their college years, when Lana used to stay with Christen and Kelley after they played at Stanford, when they used to hang out together, and when Kelley would come along to the U-23 National Team games. 

Christen chuckles, nodding her head. “I still can’t get rid of her.” 

“We’ve been working together for the past few years now too.” She tells her, earning a surprised look from Lana. 

“Should we go and sit down?” Tobin suggests, realizing that they could probably stay there for the whole night if they don’t move now. 

Both women nod, sitting down and continuing their conversation until their food is ready and served. 

“So how did you guys meet?” Lana sits up a little as she forks up some more food. “I need to know  _ everything  _ that happened since you graduated college.

Christen laughs, looking over at Tobin, who encourages Christen to start telling the story. 

“We met at work.” She begins, telling the short version of their story. “Tobin came in for a job interview and I was the one interviewing her. We ended up choosing her for the job, so when she started working at the school, we got to know each other better and became friends.” 

“And the rest is pretty much history.” Christen shrugs with a smile. “We ended up dating and falling in love, and haven’t looked back since.” 

“Basically, you interviewed Tobin and couldn’t stop thinking about her afterwards, so decided to give her the job with the hopes of falling in love?” Lana forms her own conclusion, teasing Christen. 

Christen gives her a light shove, crossing her arms as a blush makes its way onto her face. “That is not what happened!” 

“Oh no?” Lana wiggles her eyebrows, letting Christen know that she’s only joking. 

“That’s exactly what happened.” Tobin chips in, going along with it. “She just couldn’t resist me, I saw the heart eyes as soon as we met.” 

Lana starts laughing now that Tobin joins in, Christen simply sinking further down in her chair. 

“That is definitely not what happened.” She insists, still defending herself. “I did not have heart eyes.” 

“Don’t think I didn’t see you staring for a good minute.” She winks at her wife, a smile making its way onto her face. 

“Did she drool in the process?” Lana jokes, loving the fact that Christen’s cheeks just keep getting redder, but knowing the joke has run its course now. 

“Tobin just has beautiful eyes, okay?” Christen doesn’t even bother defending that one, because she knows it’s true. 

From the moment she first saw Tobin’s eyes, she knew she’d never get tired of looking into them. 

“I think we’ve embarrassed me enough for today.” Christen cuts them off before they can say anything else. “How’s Elise?” 

“Absolutely crazy.” Lana begins, immediately making Tobin and Christen laugh. “I don’t know where that kid gets her energy from, but she’s  _ always  _ hyper. She can’t sit still for more than a second.” 

“It’s almost like you, when you were little.” She raises her eyebrows, clearly telling Lana where her daughter got it from. 

“She’s definitely got her dad’s attitude though. Them two drive me  _ insane.” _ Lana laughs, referring to her husband and daughter. “They’re so stubborn, it’s unbelievable sometimes.” 

“I know what that feels like.” Christen nudges Tobin’s foot. 

Tobin gives her an disapproving look, even if she knows that Christen is right. “What? I’m not stubborn.” 

Christen raises an eyebrow, clearly not believing her. “You are when you want to be!” 

“We’re gonna have to introduce Olivia and Elise at some point.” Lana suggests. 

Her and her family vacation in California quite a bit, so she’ll make sure to message Christen next time they’re visiting Los Angeles. 

“That would be nice.” Tobin nods her head, looking over at Christen, who agrees. 

They finish their meal together, sitting outside and talking for a little longer, until Lana has to go back to her hotel and Christen leaves to pick Olivia up from Kelley’s house. 

Christen isn’t even surprised about the fact that she was right, Lana and Tobin did get on seamlessly. 

\-------

Even though Christen considers herself to be a patient person, there are more than enough times when she can’t be patient. 

During those times, it’s her impatience that gets the best of her. 

And one of those times is right this second. 

Or more like half an hour ago. 

But now she’s realized that it makes the situation even worse, because now she’s pacing her bedroom with a massive smile on her face, waiting for Tobin and Olivia to get home. 

They should be home any minute now, but that minute can’t come quickly enough. 

A million thoughts are running through her head as she paces the room. 

_ Will Tobin be mad at me? She won’t be upset that I did this without her, right?  _

_ No, she won’t. She won’t be mad.  _

_ But what if she-  _

Christen doesn’t get another second to think about any of this, because she hears a key turn in the lock, before the front door opens. 

She’s out of their bedroom before even taking a breath, practically flying down the stairs, until she finds herself in front of Olivia and Tobin. 

The smile still hasn’t left Christen’s face. 

“I missed you!” Christen announces as she holds Olivia close, earning a chuckle from Tobin. 

“Babe, we were gone for like two hours.” She starts, until Christen wrinkles her nose at her, clearly trying to tell her that she’s still allowed to miss her daughter. 

“I guess I didn’t miss you.” Christen jokingly scoffs, making Tobin cross her arms. “I’m kidding. Hi, baby.” 

“Oh, Tobs!” Christen acts like she suddenly remembers something before Tobin even has the chance to speak up. “I have to tell you a secret!” 

She leans in closer, but Tobin starts laughing. “You know Olivia is the only other person here, right?”

“Yes, I know, but still!” She shakes her head, insisting on whispering it in Tobin’s ear. 

Tobin prepares herself for some kind of stupid joke, waiting for Christen to announce whatever she has to announce. 

“I’m pregnant.” Christen whispers, biting her lip as she pulls away. 

Tobin’s eyes grow wide. “No you’re not!” 

“I am.” She eagerly nods her head. “I was going to wait for you, but I got super impatient.” 

“Are you sure?” She checks again, not quite believing what Christen just told her. “You’re definitely pregnant?”

Christen’s smile grows as she nods again. “I took three tests and they were all positive!” 

Tobin crashes into her wife, hiding her face in Christen’s neck as she takes in the moment. 

“Wait, really?” She picks her head up again, looking into Christen’s eyes. 

“Yes.” Christen starts chuckling with teary eyes. “They’re upstairs, I’ll show you them later!” 

“Oh my God, I’m so happy.” Tobin whispers into Christen’s neck, taking a deep breath. 

“Did you hear that, Livvy?” Tobin speaks to her daughter once she’s composed herself, who’s still on Christen’s hip. “You’re going to be a big sister!” 

She moves back, pulling Christen into a kiss, which ends up as teeth clashing from their smiles. 

Tobin kneels down on the floor when they pull away, leaving a kiss on Christen’s belly.

“You’re going to be the best big sister ever.” She whispers into Olivia’s hair, feeling so overwhelmed right now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm...I've officially ran out of HSM songs to use as chapter titles, so I'm just going to use random titles/lines of songs from now on to keep that theme going lol. 
> 
> This is just a short and sweet little chapter, so I don't just jump between big moments, but do expect the chapters to move a little faster on the timeline now, as I don't want to repeat the same moments over and over. Also, yes, I understand that the timeline for certain things (e.g. IVF) are going to be extremely unrealistic in this fic and nowhere near that easy in real life, so please remember it's an Alternate Universe and that I'm just trying to move the story along. 
> 
> And thank you so much for everyone that left some feedback on my question at the end of the previous chapter! It was really helpful and the majority of responses I got was that it's clear this is an AU, so people are still willing to read it. I'm hoping the same goes for everyone else. 
> 
> Anyways, thank you so much for continuing to read my updates! Stay safe :)


	27. Nothing Breaks Like A Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This world can hurt you,  
> It cuts you deep and leaves a scar.  
> Things fall apart,  
> But nothing breaks like a heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‼️ Please read the notes before starting the chapter ‼️
> 
> This chapter contains some content that might be difficult for some people to read. I don't want to spoil it for those who don't want to know and just want to read the chapter, but for those who do want to know, please check the notes at the end of the chapter first, where I've mentioned the "warnings" for this chapter. 
> 
> I'm not sure how sensitive it is to individuals, so if you don't think you can read it, then obviously I'd much rather have you not make your way through the almost 30k words on this topic. 
> 
> I promise there are brighter days ahead though :)

Christen pulls a face in discomfort, desperately trying to force her eyes shut and fall back asleep. 

She twists and turns a little, trying not to wake Tobin up, and instead get some more sleep, before she has to get up in a few, short hours. 

Despite her best efforts of not stirring or moving too much, Tobin still wakes up. 

“Everyth’ng okay?” A sleep voice mumbles, from the body lying next to her. 

Christen clears her throat a little, before speaking. “My stomach hurts, a little like cramps, but I’ll be fine.” 

Tobin opens her eyes a little more, now being able to see Christen through the moonlight. “Sure?” 

“Mhm, I-” She begins to reply, until her face twists in discomfort. 

“Babe-” Tobin rubs her eyes, sitting up and looking down at her wife. 

“I’m okay.” Christen insists, trying to encourage Tobin to lie down again. 

“No you’re not.” She shakes her head in a voice that tells Christen she doesn’t quite believe her. 

“I am, I promise.” She tries again this time, speaking in a calmer voice. “It’s probably just a stomach bug.” 

Tobin narrows her eyes, trying to get a read on Christen’s facial expressions. “Do you think so?”

Christen nods, tugging Tobin’s shirt and trying to get her to move down. 

Tobin slides a hand onto Christen’s belly, gently rubbing it. 

Christen tucks herself back into Tobin once she’s lying down again, hoping that the pain will get less. 

Somehow, she does manage to fall asleep again. 

\-------

This time, when she wakes up in the morning, the pain is even worse. 

They’re lying in bed, spending some time waking up, after Tobin checked on Christen to see how she’s feeling. 

“Tobs, I don’t think I can go to work today.” Christen honestly admits, making it known that she truly isn’t feeling great. 

“That’s okay, we can call you in sick.” Tobin shrugs it off, being able to hear the discomfort in Christen’s voice. 

Christen is one of the last people to call in sick or take a day off work, so Tobin knows that this isn’t just a walk in the park, if she’s willing to suggest it without putting up a fight. 

Normally, it’s more Tobin forcing her to stay home if she’s too sick. 

“Do you want me to text Kristie?” Tobin offers, knowing that she has to get up any minute now. 

“No, I’ll do it. Thanks though.” She politely declines, tapping Tobin’s thigh. “Get ready for work, baby.” 

Tobin showers whilst Christen texts Kristie, letting her know that she won’t be able to make it to work today. 

When Tobin opens the bathroom door, she sees her wife trying to get up, the pain written across her face. 

“Babe, you’re going to make yourself feel even worse if you try to get up!” Tobin folds her arms, tying a towel around her body and going on a hunt to find something to wear today. 

“Well, someone has to bring Liv to daycare, since I’m definitely not trusting myself to be able to look after her all day.” Christen argues, moving the covers from her legs. 

Before she has the chance to swing her body around, Tobin covers Christen’s legs again and sits down next to her. “I’m more than capable of taking her to daycare, babe.”

“I know.” Christen confirms, since that’s an obvious point. “You’re going to work today though, and I’m not.” 

“But you’re not feeling well and twelve weeks pregnant, whilst I’m fine.” Tobin raises her eyebrows at her wife, leaving a kiss on her lips and moving off the bed again. 

“But To-” Christen starts to argue, before Tobin cuts her off. 

“No buts!” Tobin shuts her down right away. “Either you’re staying in bed today, or I’m withholding for a month.” 

“That’s not fair or funny.” Christen groans, covering her face with her pillow. “You know that my hormones can’t take that.” 

She laughs as she brushes her hair. “Don’t get out of bed and then you won’t have that issue.” 

Christen just folds her arms with a pout, as Tobin leaves the room to wake Olivia up, getting her dressed for the day, before feeding the two of them. 

Christen wasn’t feeling hungry, so Tobin just made her promise that she’ll make herself something to eat later on. 

“I’ll keep my phone on me.” Tobin offers as she kisses Christen goodbye, wanting to know how her wife is doing throughout the day. 

She brings Olivia to daycare on her way to work, talking to Sam for five minutes, before heading off again. 

Tobin makes sure to text Christen on her way out of the building, knowing that she’d want to know whether they both made it there safely. 

Less than fifteen minutes later and she’s making her way into the office. 

She’s a little later than usual, but despite that, Tobin still has plenty of time to spare. 

“Morning, Tob.” Alex greets as Tobin walks into the office, smiling in her direction. 

“Where’s Chris?” Julie asks as soon as she sees that Tobin is by herself. 

“At home.” Tobin begins to explain. “She isn’t feeling well today, so she’s taking the day off. She’ll probably be back either tomorrow or after the weekend, depending on how she is tonight.” 

Alex frowns, sending Tobin a sympathetic look. She sets herself a mental reminder to text Christen and wish her well later. 

Tobin can’t help but let her thoughts drift to Christen throughout the day, worried about how she’s doing. She knows how much it sucks to not feel well, but she can’t imagine how much worse it must be during pregnancy. 

**Tobs :** How are you feeling, babe?

**Chris :** Still no better...I’m in so much pain. 

**Tobs :** Do you think we should go to the doctors?

**Chris :** It’s probably just a stomach bug. I’ll be okay, baby. It just really hurts. 

**Tobs :** I’m sorry, babe. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? Do you want me to get you anything on the way home? 

**Chris :** I just need you and Liv, but thank you. 

Tobin reads the text with a smile, checking the time and seeing that her lesson is starting any minute now, since she volunteered to cover Christen’s lessons for the day. 

She quickly replies, stuffing her phone back in her pocket and not having another chance to check it for the next two hours. 

**Chris :** I never had anything close to this kind of pain when I was pregnant with Livvy. The cramps really hurt and it’s nothing like a stomach bug anymore. 

**Tobs :** Is it still getting worse?

**Chris :** So much worse. I feel like I’m going to vomit from the pain. 

**Tobs :** I love you and I’m sorry that I can’t be there to look after you right now. 

**Chris :** I love you too. And don’t apologize, baby...I’m not a pretty sight right now anyway. 

**Tobs :** You’re the prettiest, always! 

**Chris :** Whatever you say. 

**Tobs :** I’m your wife, you have to agree with me. 

Tobin chews her lip, knowing that Christen doesn’t want her to worry, but not being able to stop herself. 

She decides to text Dr Stoney, knowing that Christen might argue with her once she finds out, but deciding that it’ll be worth it when she knows Christen is okay and it is in fact just a small illness that she’ll need to recover from. 

**Tobin Heath :** Hey, doc! Christen isn’t feeling great today and I’m worried about her, so I was just wondering if you have a second to talk about it? 

**Dr Casey Stoney :** Hi, Tobin. Of course! What’s wrong with her?

**Tobin Heath :** She started getting these stomach cramps last night and they haven’t gone away since. She said they’re getting worse and she’s usually quite good with pain, but she just mentioned that she feels like she’s going to vomit because of how badly it hurts. 

**Dr Casey Stoney :** Has she had any backaches? 

**Tobin Heath :** She hasn’t mentioned any, so I don’t think so. 

**Dr Casey Stoney :** Are they the same as the cramps she’d usually get during her menstrual cycle? 

**Tobin Heath :** She’s a lucky one and doesn’t really get cramps when she’s on her period, so the only time she does they don’t last long and aren’t too bad. 

**Dr Casey Stoney :** Where are you guys now? Are you at work? 

**Tobin Heath :** I’m at work, Christen’s at home. She’s taking the day off and resting. 

**Dr Casey Stoney :** Okay, that’s good. 

**Dr Casey Stoney :** Does she tend to get cramps during exercise or after sex? 

**Tobin Heath :** She did a couple of times when she was pregnant with Olivia, but not during this pregnancy, no. 

**Dr Casey Stoney :** Okay, this could just be her uterus expanding and it could go away again. Keep me updated and let me know if there’s anything new or if she’s getting worse, and then we can make an appointment so I can check her myself. 

**Tobin Heath :** Will do, thank you! I’ll let you know how she is once I get home. 

Tobin sends a silent prayer that everything is alright and Christen is just having an off day. 

\-------

When Tobin finishes work an hour later, she heads back towards the daycare, picking Olivia up again and then driving home. 

Tobin’s eyebrows furrow when it’s silent as she enters the house. 

She can’t spot Christen anywhere, seeing the evidence that Christen was downstairs earlier, from the glass standing in the kitchen. 

“Babe?” Tobin calls out as she heads towards their bedroom, opening the door and spotting Christen coming out of the bathroom. 

She lets Olivia down on their bed, keeping her busy with a toy and making sure she’s okay, so she can take a moment to check on Christen

“Hey.” Tobin gives her a soft smile, pulling Christen in. 

Christen hugs her tightly, before sighing and lifting her head to look at Tobin.

“I started having a bit of spotting, which could be normal, but it’s getting a little stronger.” She sighs with concern, before looking down. “I also got blood on these shorts, which I’m not happy about.” 

“How are the cramps?” Tobin asks, worried that they could be linked together. 

“Not good.” Christen shakes her head with a frown. 

“Get changed, babe and then we’ll talk, okay?” Tobin suggests, wanting to message Dr Stoney and let her know. 

**Tobin Heath :** The cramps aren’t any better and she’s got some spotting now too, which is getting stronger. 

**Dr Casey Stoney :** Tobin, it might be nothing, but I want to get her checked. Are you able to drive to urgent care now? I’m not on call right now, but if you think she’d be more comfortable with me being there, then I can come in to do a quick exam. 

**Tobin Heath :** Yeah, we’ll just have to find someone to look after Olivia and then we’ll be on our way. Do you mind meeting us there? I think Christen would prefer that. 

**Dr Casey Stoney :** Okay, no problem. Let me know once you’re there and I’ll come and get you from the waiting room. 

“Babe, I just asked Dr Stoney and she says we should meet her at the hospital, so she can check you.” Tobin approaches her wife again. “I just want to know that you and our little peanut are okay, even if it turns out to be nothing.” 

Christen nods, silently agreeing with her and weighing their options in her head. 

Tobin gives her a solution, before she can think about it. “I’ll call Kelley and see if she can look after Liv for a few hours.” 

“Yeah, okay.” Christen looks Tobin in the eyes, not wanting to have to take their daughter either. 

She knows that they might get distracted whilst they’re there, and that Olivia wouldn’t last waiting for that long, so bringing her to Kelley would most likely be the best option. 

Tobin cups Christen’s cheek, stroking it with her thumb. “I’ll wash your shorts for you later, babe. Just get ready and wear something comfy. I’ll be back in a second.” 

She kisses Christen, before leaving the room with Olivia. 

Once Tobin is no longer in their bedroom, she closes her eyes, taking a deep breath and grounding herself. 

“I love you, Livvy.” She whispers against her daughter’s head, leaving a kiss there, before pulling up Kelley’s contact. 

She dials Kelley’s number and the woman picks up on the second ring. 

Tobin explains the situation to her, simply stating that Christen isn't well and that she needs to take her to urgent care. Kelley doesn’t hesitate to agree on watching Olivia, always being up for helping them out and spending some time with her goddaughter. 

They quickly drop Olivia off on the way. 

Tobin can see how nervous Christen is, feeling the exact same way. She threads her fingers through Christen’s, hoping that it’ll bring at least a little comfort. 

As soon as they get there and fill in some paperwork, a nurse shows them to a room and asks them to wait there for Dr Stoney. 

Tobin wraps her arm around Christen’s shoulder, feeling Christen rest her head down on Tobin’s shoulder in return. 

“It’s just a check-up, don’t stress about it, okay?” She can see Christen biting her lip, from the corner of her eye. 

Christen gives her a weak nod, squeezing Tobin’s hip, before pulling away again. 

Dr Stoney walks in a short moment later. 

She greets both of them, knowing she has to master a smile, despite already having a feeling that something isn’t quite right. 

She has to keep a positive mindset though. 

“I’m just going to ask a few questions on how you’ve been feeling today and then I’ll run a few tests.” She announces once Christen is lying down on the examination table. “Nothing painful or new, so this shouldn’t take too long and we should be able to get you some answers.” 

Christen gives her an appreciative smile, so Casey starts from the beginning, repeating the questions she’d asked Tobin earlier that day. 

“Okay, so I’m going to do an ultrasound first and see what I can pick up from that. If I can’t get any clear enough results from that, then I’ll check your hormone levels and do some blood tests.” Dr Stoney explains as she prepares Christen for an ultrasound. 

Christen nods, those words not making her feel much better, but she’s feeling grateful about the fact she’ll hopefully be able to get an answer and go home feeling a lot calmer than she came. 

Tobin holds her hand the whole way through, watching as Dr Stoney stays silent, her facial expression not giving anything away. 

She leaves the room, going to discuss the results with another doctor and get a second opinion, before returning again almost twenty minutes later. 

Dr Stoney had a long discussion with the other doctor, both of them wanting to make sure that what they’re seeing is correct, and that the symptoms add up too.

When Dr Stoney enters the room again, Tobin can instantly tell that something is wrong. 

“Christen, I’m so sorry.” She begins with a steady voice, her tone not changing. “I just confirmed the results that I saw with another one of our doctors here, and we can confirm that you’re having a miscarriage.”

Dr Stoney watches as Christen’s knuckles go white, her grip on Tobin’s hand tightening. 

She gives them a short moment to process that sentence, before starting to explain, just like she was taught to do. 

“Although some light bleeding can occur during pregnancies, the bleeding getting stronger and your cramping have both indicated towards that too. The bleeding could last up to two weeks and you may find that it’s going to be very strong, but that varies from person to person. The-”

Tobin doesn’t hear the rest of it. Her ears just start ringing and her body goes numb.

She feels Christen lifting their intertwined fingers, kissing the back of Tobin’s hand and just resting it against her lips for a long moment. 

This is so like Christen - her sensing Tobin’s emotions and putting the person she loves in front of her own emotions. It’s something she does time and time again, always putting Tobin first and comforting her, before she even thinks about anyone else. 

Tobin knows that Christen is breaking just as much as her on the inside though, feeling her own heart shatter. 

Yet here Christen is, even with Tobin being able to feel Christen’s lip trying not to tremble against Tobin’s hand, focusing on her wife before anything else. 

She comes back to her senses, listening to the one-sided conversation again. 

“At this stage, you have two options.” Dr Stoney begins, so Tobin looks up at her. “I can admit you to the hospital and you can stay here until you have the actual miscarriage, or you can go home and have it there. This process can take a few hours or even over a week.” 

Christen rubs her face with her free hand, trying to process the words that are being spoken. 

“I have a child to look after-” She begins, thinking of the practical reasons behind her decision. 

Tobin cuts Christen off with a weak voice. “Think about what you want. We’ll find a solution for Livvy later, don’t worry about that yet.” 

Christen chews her lip, so Dr Stoney takes the opportunity to speak up again. 

“Before you make this decision, I think there’s something else you should take into consideration.” Dr Stoney begins, because she knows that this moment is causing them a lot of heartbreak and she wants them to be prepared for this. “Since you’re already twelve weeks along, the fetus is fully formed. This means that you can clearly make out the features of their body. When the actual miscarriage takes place, you’ll see the fetus.” 

“It won’t be very big, in fact it’ll be smaller than the palm of your hand, but it’ll be there.” She lets out a deep breath as she continues. “If you have the miscarriage at the hospital, there’s only a small chance that you’ll see it and if you do, the nurses will deal with the fetus right away. If you have it at home, there’s a high chance that you’ll see and be able to identify them.” 

“A lot of parents, who have the miscarriage at home, like to bury the fetus somewhere that’s meaningful to them, whilst other parents prefer to have the hospital deal with it.” Dr Stoney finishes her point, just wanting Christen to consider if she’ll be strong enough to see her unborn child or not. “This is a decision that only you can make.”

Christen feels so overwhelmed and she wants nothing more than to hide in Tobin’s arms, in the comfort of her own bed. 

That’s how she knows what decision she has to make. 

“I want to go home.” She speaks in a quiet and weak voice. 

Tobin nods when Christen looks over at her. “We’ll go home.” 

Dr Stoney gives them an understanding nod. “I’ll let you guys have a moment before you head out again.” 

“Thank you.” Tobin tries to smile, failing miserably. 

She goes to say something - anything - but she can’t form any words. 

They both know that they don’t want to spend another minute in the hospital, so they slowly grab Christen’s purse and head out to the car in complete silence. 

Their hands are intertwined tightly the whole way to the car, only letting go so they can climb into their own seats. 

The car door on Christen’s side hasn’t even fully slammed shut yet, before she leans over the center control, pulling Tobin in and clinging onto her so tightly, that Tobin thinks her blood circulation might stop any minute now. 

Christen lets herself break in Tobin’s arms, just hiding her face in Tobin’s hoodie and letting the tears fall as she sobs. 

Tobin isn’t doing much better, and watching Christen break, just makes her own tears fall too. 

She holds onto Christen just as tightly, her tears streaming down her cheeks as she clings onto Christen. 

They stay in the parking lot for way longer than planned, just simultaneously comforting each other, as they let out their emotions. 

By the time Christen’s breathing has returned back to normal, she slowly lifts her head up. Christen sniffs, her eyes locking with Tobin’s, seeing the broken look that’s written across the features in her face. 

Christen cups Tobin’s cheeks, wiping the tears from under her red, puffy eyes. 

She leans forwards, leaving a short kiss on Tobin’s lips and resting their foreheads together. 

“I love you!” Christen whispers as another tear rolls down her cheek. 

“I love you too!” Tobin sighs, kissing her wife’s forehead. 

She turns back towards the front, dropping her head against the headrest of her seat and letting out a loud sigh. 

She’s angry -  _ so  _ angry - at the world. 

Tobin slams her hand down onto the steering wheel, only just missing the horn by an inch. 

Christen flinches, something Tobin doesn’t seem to notice, since she just bites down on her lip and repeats the action. 

Christen reaches out for Tobin’s hands, holding them tightly and feeling how tense they are, realizing just how much anger is building up inside of Tobin right now. 

She knows Tobin would never hurt her, would never even consider it, so she’s not worried to try and gain Tobin’s attention.

She rubs her thumb along the back of Tobin’s hand, repeating the action until she slowly feels the older woman relax. 

Christen reaches one hand up to cup Tobin’s cheek, caressing it until Tobin looks at her. 

“Breathe, baby.” She whispers as she wipes Tobin’s tears again. 

Tobin closes her eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to calm herself. 

“Are you okay to drive?” Christen questions, not wanting Tobin to accidentally put them in a dangerous situation, because of her anger. 

“Yeah.” Tobin whispers as she nods her head. “I’m sorry if I scared you just then. I’m just-” 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself if you can’t find the words right now.” Christen tells her, seeing the way Tobin is struggling for words. “You’re allowed to feel whatever you feel.” 

And Tobin’s head is screaming a million words at her. 

_ Heartbroken. Angry. Devastated.  _

\-------

They pick Olivia up on the way home, Tobin bringing her sleepy daughter to bed as soon as they get in. 

When Tobin comes back into their bedroom, she can hear the shower running. 

She quickly gets changed into her sleepshirt. Tobin pulls one of her hoodies that Christen loves to steal, out of the closet, and lays it on the bed for her. 

Christen comes out of the bathroom a short moment later, already wearing a pair of cotton shorts and about to go on a search for a top to wear for the night. 

Tobin stands up with the hoodie, silently offering it to her. 

“I’ll get blood on it...and the bedsheets.” Christen sighs as she shakes her head. “Dr Stoney said that it’ll probably be the strongest for the next three or four days, and then it should get a little less, until it stops.”

“Don’t worry about that.” Tobin shakes her head in return. “The mattress protector will keep it off of there, and I can wash the bedsheets and clothes, or even buy new ones if I need to.” 

Christen slowly pulls her hoodie on, when she’s sure that Tobin means it, climbing into bed opposite her wife. Tobin shuffles closer to her, opening her arms as Christen gives her a hesitant look. 

“Tobs, I can guarantee you that you don’t want to cuddle me. I’m giving it three hours max, before I bleed through everything and have to get up to change.” Christen cringes a little at the thought. 

Tobin lifts her head to make eye contact with Christen, by lifting the younger woman’s chin. 

“Babe, I don’t care. I think you’re forgetting that I not only get my period every month, but I also watched you give birth. And even if I didn’t do either of those things, it’s just blood.” Tobin makes clear to her. “Now please come here, because I really need you in my arms tonight.” 

She moves a little closer, still keeping her distance, but now resting her head on Tobin’s pillow. 

They look at each other through the darkness in the room, trying to find the other’s eyes. Their fingers are intertwined as they slowly use their thumb to rub each other’s soft skin. 

Christen leans forward to leave a comforting kiss on Tobin’s forehead, nuzzling into her chest and closing her eyes. 

The exhaustion from her emotions knocks her out right away, drifting off to sleep, while running her fingers up and down the skin on Tobin’s forearm. 

This time, Tobin is the one that can’t sleep. She feels like her whole body is just frozen with emotions. 

Apart from the few tears she shed earlier in the car, she feels too numb to cry. 

It isn’t like her, to feel this way, but she does. 

This foreign feeling that isn’t budging or going away, has her wishing that it’s all just a dream. 

She thinks back to when they found out Christen was pregnant for the second time - remembering how happy they were and knowing that she couldn’t wait to be a mother of two beautiful children.

All of that just got taken away from them within minutes. 

Just yesterday, everything seemed fine. 

Tobin had been kissing Christen’s practically non-existent bump good night and falling asleep to the thoughts of future plans. 

She turns her head towards Christen, lightly stroking her cheek and trying not to wake up. 

She’s just so in love with her wife and her heart is breaking for all of them. 

Even in her sleep, Christen tightens the hold she has on Tobin. 

Tobin doesn’t sleep for the full night. 

She just lies there, rubbing Christen’s back and hoping to soothe enough pain to let her sleep. She just holds her and makes sure that she’s okay. 

Whenever Christen gets up throughout the night, Tobin follows her, asking her if she wants some painkillers and making sure she’s as comfortable as she can be, before they get back into bed. 

She doesn’t sleep until the last time they get back into bed, leaving her with a short, just under two-hour-long hour rest. 

\-------

The first thing Tobin does when she wakes up is text Kristie to announce both of their absences for the day. 

She doesn’t tell her when she’s going to be back, simply saying that she’ll explain later, knowing that Kelley will probably mention that they had to go to urgent care the previous night. 

Christen is still asleep, even if as much of a twitch in a muscle could wake her up right now. 

Even when Christen was asleep during the night, she was restless and constantly trying to get comfortable. 

She wakes up too when Tobin moves out of her arms, trying to get up so she can take Olivia to daycare, knowing that Christen and her will need the day to themselves. 

As soon as Christen opens her eyes she panics, grabbing Tobin’s hand and remembering her unsettling dream from last night. It’s clear that Christen is still half asleep and hasn’t registered that she’s awake yet. 

“Don’t go, please.” Christen pleads, rushing her words out, as her voice shakes with fear. “I’m sorry, I know that I let you down, but please stay. I need you, and I need Livvy too. Don’t take her, she’s my little girl and I can’t do life without you guys.”

“I love you more than anything, Tobin...please.” She’s speaking at such a pace, that Tobin can’t keep up with her words or make time to chip words of her own in. 

“Hey, wow, slow down.” Tobin moves back onto the bed right away, after processing her wife’s words, recognizing Christen’s state and pulling her in tightly. 

“I can’t lose you.” Christen whispers quietly, making the older woman’s heart ache.

“I’m not going anywhere and neither is Liv. You’re our world and we love you so much.” Tobin reassures her, softly running her hands through Christen’s curls. “You didn’t let anyone down, babe. This isn’t something you can control, it just happens sometimes. But Liv and I, we’re your family, and we’ll always be right here next to you.” 

“I was just going to get her ready for daycare.” Tobin calmly explains. “I told Kristie that we’re not going to be there today, and I thought it would be better if it’s just you and me for the day.” 

Tobin can see the fear in Christen’s eyes, having clearly had some worries about this over night. 

It now makes sense to her why Christen held her hand tightly every time she left the bed last night, making her walk hand-in-hand across the bedroom, just to go into the bathroom. 

“How about I call Tyler instead and ask if she can watch her for the day? She’s been wanting to spend some time with Olivia anyway.” Tobin suggests as an alternative. “We can ask if she’d be willing to come and pick her up.” 

“Yeah, okay.” Christen nods slowly. 

“I’m going to wake her up and get her ready, okay?” She goes to check with Christen, not wanting to cause her any more stress. “I’m not leaving the house and I won’t be long, I promise.” 

\-------

An hour later, and Tyler is ringing the doorbell, easily agreeing to watch Olivia today, since Isaac and Lucas are at home too. 

When she enters the house, she’s met with a version of Tobin that she’s never seen before. 

She looks pale, broken and sad, which is nothing like the funny and happy Tobin that her sister married. She can tell that Tobin is avoiding eye contact, as if Tyler would see something she shouldn’t, if she looks into Tobin’s eyes. 

“Hey, is everything okay?” Tyler asks after greeting her, watching as Tobin turns around and meets her eyes for a brief moment, before dropping her eyes back down to the floor. 

It’s a stupid question really, because Tyler already knows the answer to it. 

She watches as Tobin opens her mouth, going to respond, but not being able to form any words. 

Tyler moves closer, pulling Tobin into a hug and feeling how weak the woman is. She’s shaking and her breaths aren’t even. 

“What’s going on, Tobs?” She asks when they pull back, standing at an angle, so she can see Olivia out of the corner of her eye and make sure she doesn’t do something she shouldn’t, whilst sitting in her high chair at the table. 

“Ehm…” Tobin hesitates, running her hands through her hair and debating on whether to tell Tyler or not. She decides to do so though, seeing as she should know why they asked her to watch Olivia for today. 

“Christen’s having a miscarriage.” She announces and her voice breaks. 

Tobin almost thinks she’s going to cry, but she still feels too numb to do so. 

Tyler’s eyes go wide with concern. 

She could tell by how hesitant Tobin is, that Christen and her want to keep this to themselves. Tyler makes a mental note to ask Channing and Fran to give the couple some space over the next few days. She also wants to ask them if they know what she can do to help Christen and Tobin. 

“She wasn’t feeling well yesterday, and we obviously knew that she was pregnant, so we ended up at urgent care last night.” Tobin explains with red eyes, shrugging. “And yeah...that’s what they told us.” 

“I’m so sorry, Tobin.” Tyler voices, unsure if anything else she says could make this situation any less painful for them. 

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Tyler questions, and Tobin can tell how genuine her question is. “Olivia can stay at mine for the weekend if you want? Will and I can look after her and then I can drop her off again on Sunday, so you and Christen have some time alone?” 

“Is that- am I neglecting my child then? Does that make me a bad parent?” Tobin chews her bottom lip, having lost all senses of direction in life. 

“No, Tobin! No way!” Tyler quickly shakes her head. “You’re looking after yourself first, so you can look after your child and be the best mother you can be. Acknowledging when you’re not in the state to take care of a child is one of the things that makes the best mothers.”

Tobin sighs, eventually agreeing and packing a small bag of everything Olivia will need over the weekend, before sending them on their way. 

As terrible as she feels for sending Olivia to Kelley last night and now to Tyler, she knows that right now, her attention needs to be on Christen and herself. 

By Sunday, their world will already look a little different and she’ll be able to look after her daughter again. 

They’re so lucky to have people around them who are willing to help them out. 

Tobin grabs a hot water bottle, warming it up and then making her way back upstairs, to find Christen curled into herself in bed. 

“Ty is going to keep Liv for the weekend and then drop her off again on Sunday, so we can have some time to ourselves.” She mentions in a soft voice as she walks back into their bedroom, earning an appreciative nod from Christen, knowing that they need this. 

Tobin lies down on her side, facing Christen. 

She kisses Christen’s forehead, before pulling her in and passing her the hot water bottle. 

Christen lifts her head up as Tobin adjusts her position, resting her head down by Tobin’s shoulder, nuzzling into her neck. 

“Are you hungry?” Tobin wonders, noticing that neither of them have eaten in quite a while. 

Christen shakes her head, signaling that she isn’t. Tobin knows exactly how she feels, because she doesn’t think she’d be able to fit a single bite of food in her stomach right now. 

Christen leaves a kiss on Tobin’s jaw, whispering into her skin. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Don’t ever apologize for this!” Tobin tells her right away. “It’s not your fault in any way.” 

“I know.” Christen nods into her shoulder, because she does know. 

Well, she kind of knows. 

“But I still feel like I should be sorry.” She continues, speaking quietly. 

“You shouldn’t!” Tobin insists, rightfully so. “Don’t ever think that this was your fault or that you could have done something to prevent this from happening.” 

“I’m sorry about this morning too.” Christen mumbles on. “I know that you wouldn’t leave me, I just-”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Tobin cuts her off. “I get it. You just woke up after trauma for both your body and mind, which made you panic. It didn’t upset me, because I know that you don’t think that way.” 

“We’re going to get through this, baby.” Christen tells her with the best confidence she can master. “It’s always going to be there and it won’t be easy, but we’ll get through all of the pain.” 

“Yeah, we will.” Tobin agrees with her, because even if it seems impossible right this second, she knows that Christen is right. 

Christen moves one of her hands and links it with Tobin’s, not letting go. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Tobin tightens her hold on the younger woman, closing her eyes. 

Tobin knows that she won’t approach the topic of a pregnancy for a long time. 

If Christen wants to try again, then Tobin would be right there to support her, but if she doesn’t, then she’s also more than willing to eventually look into other options. 

They tell each other so much - everything - and that’s something Tobin has always valued a lot. 

It’s one of the main factors and reasons why their relationship runs so smoothly, apart from the fact that they both truly believe they were made for each other, based on how well they understand and read the other. 

But with all of that truth and honesty, they also understand that there has to be space and time. 

Tobin knows that she needs to give Christen space and time with this situation, just like Christen is doing with her. They’re simply supporting each other, whilst trying to process everything. 

Christen will come to her to talk - once she’s ready and has her thoughts together - but for now, both of their focuses are on making sure that they’re okay, by checking in on both themselves and each other. 

They know that there is no way for them to be truthful and honest with the other, if they don’t have the time to process their own feelings first, whilst also playing whatever role the other person needs them to be. 

\-------

They spend most of the weekend just holding each other, not talking much and not eating much. 

They’re not doing much of anything, apart from catching up on some sleep and resting Christen’s body. 

Christen, who’s in so much pain, but refuses to take her painkillers. 

She only broke once so far, in the middle of the night, whilst Tobin was changing their bedsheets and Christen was getting changed. 

Christen had decided to have a quick shower to clean herself up. 

When she stepped out of the shower, in her tired and stressed state, she bursted into tears. 

Her whole body was shaking as her legs collapsed, Tobin only just catching her and gently sitting her down on the floor, moving next to her and holding Christen as close as possible. 

She isn’t sure how long they stayed there, but it felt like forever. 

They didn’t move a single muscle, not until Christen was able to catch her breath again. 

And then the hardest part came on Sunday night, when Christen realized just what she was seeing, when going to the bathroom. 

Even though the physical pain should get less now, the emotional one got fifty times worse for both of them. 

Tobin doesn’t even have the words to describe how much the sight broke her heart, and now she understands why Dr Stoney offered for Christen to stay in the hospital, even though Tobin is really glad that the younger woman decided to come home instead. 

\-------

So, here they are, on Monday morning. 

Olivia is already at daycare and Tobin is standing downstairs, resting against the kitchen island and waiting for Christen to come downstairs. 

Christen made the two of them some breakfast when Tobin went to drop Olivia off. 

The two of them spent all of Sunday afternoon playing with their daughter, just taking some time and spending it with her. 

The small box across the room catches Tobin’s eyes and she bites her lip, suddenly remembering Dr Stoney’s words from  _ that  _ night. 

_ “A lot of parents like to bury the fetus somewhere that’s meaningful to them.”  _

Tobin likes that idea and the first place that comes to her mind, is what they like to call  _ their  _ spot. 

When you cut through the trees of the wooded area, where they normally go for their nature walks, there’s a small piece of land. It’s right by the edge of a cliff, looking out to the ocean. 

They’ve never met anyone else there, figuring that most people just follow the trail, instead of trying to find their way through some trees. 

It’s become a spot where they go for picnics, seeing as it’s only a short two or three minute walk from the parking lot. 

Tobin always struggles to understand why this isn’t a busy and popular spot to go to, but she appreciates that. She appreciates going there and spending some time in nature, when it’s peaceful and quiet. 

It’s nice to have a little spot to go to, knowing that there’s only a tiny chance they’ll even run into someone. 

That place is somewhere meaningful to them. 

She tells Christen about her plan as soon as she confirms with herself that it would be a good idea. Christen agrees, a little hesitant at first, not having left the house since they got back from the hospital. 

They drive there, being met with an empty parking lot when they arrive - something Tobin is very thankful for. 

Christen leads as they make their way through the trees, over to the piece of land hidden behind it. 

It’s so peaceful, the sun shining down on them and the ocean crashing against the cliffs from a few feet away. 

There’s not a single soul within miles of them, giving them some space to breathe the fresh air. 

Christen and Tobin make their way over to the other side, over by the other wooded area, finding the perfect spot. 

They both take a deep breath, before digging some mud out by the trees. Tobin slowly moves the shovel, as if doing it in slow motion would change the situation or give them some time to rewind. 

Her hands are shaking as she puts on the disposable gloves, picking the tiny, tiny body out of the box and placing them into the small, wooden one they had at home. 

It was one that Tobin, Christen and Olivia had designed themselves a little while ago, Tobin making the actual box herself, before Christen and Olivia helped paint it. 

They’d made three of them, but only ever found use for two, so they’d kept this third one around for decoration. 

Now, Tobin couldn’t imagine another use for this box, which was created with so much love and laughter. 

She takes one last look at the fetus, before closing the box and gently picking it up to lay it into the ground. 

Three months was all they got with this baby. All they got was three months of planning for the future and Tobin kissing Christen’s belly. 

Tobin remembers every ounce of love and pride she felt, as soon as she found out that Christen was pregnant for the second time. She just wanted to scream it from the rooftops. 

And somehow, having Olivia makes this situation even worse. She remembers every second of how she’s felt since having Olivia in her life and just knowing what they could have had, breaks her heart. 

And now, whilst they’re kneeling next to this hole in the ground, Tobin  _ finally  _ breaks down. 

It’s like all of the sudden, all of these emotions, which have been frozen since the night they were told, are coming to the forefront. 

She tries to stop them, she tries to keep them in for even another five minutes, but she can’t. 

So instead, Tobin lets herself breakdown and cry. 

She’s crying because she’s hurting. 

She’s hurting for herself, for her daughter that was supposed to be a big sister soon, for their baby, and most of all, for Christen. 

Tobin’s whole body shakes as Christen wraps a strong arm around her, pulling her as close as possible. 

She can feel Tobin’s hot tears in the crook of her own neck, just keeping a tight grip on her and letting her sob. 

Christen whispers sweet nothings in her wife’s ear, giving her the chance to let her tears catch up with the emotions Tobin’s been feeling over the past few days.

It’s a long time before Tobin can even breathe again, giving them a chance to cover up the box and making it look the way it did when they got there. 

But it isn’t the same. It isn’t the same anymore, because someone who was supposed to be their whole world is now under that ground. 

\-------

They both don’t say a single word for a long time. 

It goes unspoken, that they both need some space and time to themselves once they’re home. 

Tobin leaves a kiss on Christen’s lip and squeezes her shoulder, before heading upstairs.

She gets out of her clothes and goes to bed as soon as she reaches their bedroom. 

Meanwhile, Christen stays downstairs. 

They understand that they’re both vulnerable and fragile right now, needing a moment to think and just  _ be, _ without anyone else around them. 

Christen climbs onto the sofa, grabbing her journal and writing. 

She finds that once she has a single word to start with, she can’t stop writing. She spills out all of her emotions over the next few pages, not once lifting the pen off the paper. 

Eventually, once she’s done and already feels like she’s in a better headspace, she grabs a glass of water and decides that they should eat something. 

Christen makes a light sandwich for the two of them, knowing they won’t want anything that’s heavy on their stomach right now. 

She pats up the stairs, making her way over to their bedroom and lightly knocking on the door. 

When she doesn’t get a response, she opens it, seeing that Tobin is asleep on the bed. 

Christen puts their plates down, kneeling down in front of the bed. 

She can see the tear stains on Tobin’s cheeks, making it clear that she’s been crying again. 

“Tobs.” Christen whispers, running a hand through her wife’s hair. “Baby.”

She feels bad for waking Tobin up, but she’s been asleep for two hours now and she really needs to eat something, considering they both barely ate any of their breakfast. 

Christen passes her the plate when Tobin sits up against the headboard, joining her with a plate of her own. 

“Thank you.” Tobin whispers as she drops her head onto Christen’s shoulder, taking a small bite every few minutes, but still not managing to finish her food. 

They curl up together, lying in each other’s arms once they finish eating, Christen recognizing that Tobin  _ really  _ needs someone to hold her right now. 

She doesn’t need words, she just needs to know that someone is there. 

Christen sets herself an alarm, making sure that they’ll still have plenty of time left, before they need to pick Olivia up from daycare. 

She pulls Tobin in even closer, closing her eyes and falling asleep together. 

\-------

It’s Tobin’s last day off on the Tuesday and they keep Olivia home to spend some more time with her. 

It’s not often that they’re all at home for the full day, especially during the week, so they want to make the most of it. 

Olivia is down for a nap by midday and Christen had just gone to take a warm shower and change, after having a lazy morning. 

She makes her way back to the kitchen, spotting Tobin leaning against the kitchen counter next to the oven. The older woman is staring into the distance, clearly not noticing her wife’s presence. 

Christen frowns sadly when she sees Tobin’s red and teary eyes, knowing exactly how she feels in this moment. 

She walks up to Tobin, wrapping her arms around her from the side and moving Tobin’s head onto her chest. 

“I love you so much.” Christen whispers into Tobin’s hair. “So, so much!”

“I love you that much too.” Tobin sniffs, pulling one of her arms out of the embrace, so she can wrap it around Christen’s waist. “I wish this wouldn’t have happened to us.”

“I know, baby. Me too.” She takes a deep breath, agreeing with her wife. 

“How does someone ever get closure on something like this?” She mumbles, closing her eyes and taking in Christen’s scent. 

The thing is, Christen doesn’t have an answer to that. She really doesn’t, because she’s still trying to figure that out too. 

One thing she does know though, is that Tobin is struggling to let herself grieve. 

“Baby steps.” Christen runs her hand along Tobin’s side. “Don’t overthink your grief, just let it out and deal with it as it comes. Let yourself feel whatever you feel.” 

Tobin nods, staying silent for a long moment, until she suggests an idea. “It might sound silly, but can we name him or her?” 

“I don’t just want to think of  _ a baby  _ every time they come into my thoughts, because this was supposed to be our baby. We saw this baby and loved them endlessly for three months, so it just doesn’t feel right to me.” She goes on to explain. 

“Of course we can.” Christen doesn’t hesitate to agree, liking the idea and wanting to do anything to make this situation easier for Tobin. “Have you got any names in mind?”

Christen likes the thought of having a name to refer to everytime they think of their angel, instead of simply saying  _ their baby.  _ A name feels more personal to her and after all, they loved this baby with all of their heart. 

She also knows that it’s going to help Tobin, who keeps one of the sonograms from Christen’s ultrasound in her wallet now, always carrying it around with her. 

“Jordan?” Tobin lifts her head up, so she can meet Christen’s eyes. “It’s a gender neutral name and I just really like the name.”

“Jordan Heath?” Christen asks, her lips curling into a smile. 

Tobin nods for confirmation. “Jordan Heath.”

“I love it.” Christen kisses Tobin’s head again as the older woman rests it back down. 

\-------

That night, Christen can sense how unsettled and nervous Tobin feels. 

She’s already lying in bed when Tobin brushes her teeth. 

“How are you feeling about going back to work tomorrow?” Christen wonders as Tobin walks out of the bathroom, turning the light off and closing the door. 

“I’ve felt worse, I guess.” Tobin shrugs as she stalls. “I don’t know. I think it’s going to be hard.” 

“I’m here for you, you know.” Christen offers, not quite knowing what else she can say to provide Tobin some comfort right now. 

And Tobin nods, because she does know that. 

“I’m nervous to go back too.” She admits whilst Tobin takes off her clothes. “I think it’ll definitely be a little overwhelming at first.” 

“It will.” Tobin nods in agreement, chucking her clothes in the laundry basket. “But we’ll get through this.” 

She doesn’t bother putting any clothes on, feeling way too tired to do that, and simply deciding she’ll rely on Christen’s body heat to warm her up instead. 

Christen opens her arm out when Tobin crawls into bed. She holds her book up again once Tobin is settled, her head resting on Christen’s chest. 

She keeps one hand on Tobin’s back, holding her close and lightly running it along the skin. 

Christen can tell once again, how unsettled Tobin feels. 

She knows the older woman is trying to fall asleep already, having her eyes closed, but currently finding it impossible to drift off to sleep. 

Tobin doesn’t really know how she feels. 

She still hasn’t slept properly, always waking out of her light sleep and making sure that Christen is okay. 

Every single time, she feels like her heart stopped beating for a short second and she has to double check that Christen is still here. No matter how close they’re lying when Tobin tries to fall back asleep, her eyes open every other second to make sure that it is in fact Christen lying in her arms and that the woman is still peacefully breathing in her sleep. 

Every once in a while, she’ll take a quick glance at the baby monitor too and make sure that Olivia is still fast asleep.

It’s dumb, she knows it is, but she just can’t help it. 

She can’t help but worry and panic, even if she doesn’t quite know what she’s worrying and panicking about. 

Tobin figures she’ll eventually tell Christen about it, once she’s figured out the reason behind all of it, but for now, she doesn’t want to have Christen trying to stay awake to make sure Tobin sleeps. 

“Babe?” She whispers when it’s been fifteen minutes of her getting lost in her own thoughts, instead distracting Christen from her book. 

The younger woman looks down at Tobin, turning her head towards her as best as she can. “Yeah?”

“Can you-” Tobin begins, pausing to question whether she’s being stupid or not. “Can you read your book out loud?”

Christen pauses with furrowed eyebrows, because she hadn’t expected that question. 

“I just need to hear your voice and know that you’re there.” She explains, knowing it’s more complex than that, but deciding to keep it as simple as possible. 

Because at the end of the day, that’s what it is. 

At the end of the day, she just needs to know that Christen is there. 

She feels Christen’s lips leave a kiss on her forehead, pausing for a second, just when Tobin thinks she was going to agree. 

“You better not ask me to explain anything.” Christen offers instead, drawing a mindless pattern on Tobin’s back. 

“But how am I supposed to understand what the book is about then?” She feigns annoyance through a grumble. 

Christen shrugs with a small chuckle. “I don’t know, read the book from the start once I’m done.” 

“Okay.” Tobin mumbles, being way too tired to come up with some line to tease her wife. 

She closes her eyes again as she hears Christen’s quiet and calm voice, instantly feeling safe and comforted, knowing that she’s in Christen’s arms and the younger woman is right there. 

Christen puts her book aside as soon as she hears Tobin’s breath even out. 

She knows that Tobin hasn’t been sleeping well, or sleeping at all, but she’s giving her some time to wrap her head around everything before approaching that subject. 

She turns the light on her nightstand off, trying not to move much, before turning back towards Tobin. 

Christen looks at her tired wife, seeing that every feature in her face has exhaustion written over it. 

Tobin is still resting on Christen’s arm, so she pulls her in a little closer, also wrapping her other arm around Tobin. 

She pulls the duvet up a little higher, making sure that Tobin is warm enough, before leaving a kiss in between the older woman’s eyebrows and holding her close. 

“I wish I could take your pain away.” Christen whispers into Tobin’s hair, closing her eyes and falling asleep too. 

\-------

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Christen wipes Olivia’s mouth, turning towards her wife. 

“I don’t think I get much of an option.” Tobin frowns with a deep breath. “But I’m just going to put my head down at work today and hopefully I’ll be able to stop thinking, even if it’s just for two minutes.”

She reaches across the table, squeezing Tobin’s hand. 

“Livvy and I will be here, waiting for you to come home.” Christen tells her with a smile, giving Tobin a sympathetic look. 

She decided to keep Olivia home with her again, since Christen isn’t going back to work until tomorrow. 

Across town, Kelley had woken up to a text from Tyler, feeling worry rushing over her. 

**Tyler :** Hey, Kel. I know that Tobin’s going back to work today, so please could you make sure everyone takes it easy on her? She’ll kill me if she finds out about this message, so don’t tell her, but I just wanted to ask that from you. They’ve had a really hard few days. 

**Kelley O’Hara :** Yeah, of course. Are they okay?

**Tyler :** I think they will be.

And she knows exactly what Tyler meant, because as soon as she sees Tobin later that day, she realizes that she’s never seen her friend look so exhausted before. 

So, Kelley did exactly what Tyler asked her to, by keeping Tobin in her eyesight as much as she can. 

“She’s not made of glass, you know.” Alex chuckles in the staff room at lunch. “You’re watching Tobin as if she’s about to break.”

“I don’t think that description is far off, Al.” Julie tells her, looking over at Tobin on the other side of the room. “Tobin looks terrible today.”

Alex can’t deny that. 

“Where’s Chris by the way?” She wonders after a short moment. 

“Still off.” Kelley shrugs, clueless to the situation. “I hope she’s okay.”

That’s what Tobin realized right away when she got home - that Christen isn’t okay. 

Now that she’s been away from her all day, the pain is even more obvious. 

Tobin can see the emotional pain in Christen, but more than anything, she can see the physical pain that’s still left inside of the woman. She can tell that it’s a constant reminder for Christen and it breaks Tobin’s heart to watch her wife go through that. 

This is exactly why she tries to make her point later that afternoon.

“Chris, I don’t think you should go to work tomorrow.” Tobin announces with a serious tone, as she looks at Christen, who is sitting on the sofa. 

Christen raises an eyebrow at her, before they furrow. “I thought I’m going?”

“I don’t think you should.” She repeats and Christen doesn’t quite understand where Tobin is coming from.

“Why not?” She waits for some sort of reasoning, trying to understand what Tobin is saying. 

Tobin shrugs, as if it should be clear. “I don’t think you’ll be able to handle it.”

“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t handle.” Christen scoffs a little, unsure why Tobin is being so stubborn about this. 

“I know what you can and can’t handle.” She insists, not raising her voice, but not exactly speaking in a friendly tone either. 

“No you don’t, Tobin.” Christen looks at her as if she’s insane.  _ “I  _ know that.”

“Just listen to me, it’s for the best.” That tone is definitely not one she should have used with Christen, who’s been keeping her voice as calm as possible. 

But that’s where Christen begins to be a little less patient with her wife. “Once again, don’t tell me what’s best for me. I can make that decision on my own.”

“You’re my wife, Christen.” Tobin raises one eyebrow, almost acting like a mother trying to make a decision for her teenage child. 

“So?” She tilts her head with wide eyes. “Just because you’re my wife, doesn’t mean you can make those kinds of decisions for me. We can talk about them and decide on them together, but you can’t just voice your opinion and then treat it as the final decision, without so much as getting my input.”

Tobin shakes her head in disbelief. “You’re being ridiculous right now.”

“Me? I’m being ridiculous.” Christen looks like someone just told her the most pathetic joke she’s ever heard. “I haven’t done anything. I haven’t even had a chance to say what I think.” 

“You don’t need to say what you think, because you’re not going.” She knows that maybe this sentence was a little harsh, because she  _ always  _ cares about what Christen thinks and she wants the woman to know that she can always say what she thinks. 

“Yes, I am. I’m going, this really isn’t up for discussion.” She calmly defends, knowing very well that she would have been more than up for talking about this and having an actual conversation, but clearly Tobin isn’t on the same page. 

And Tobin snaps, even if she doesn’t mean to, raising her voice way more than she should. “Christen, you’re not going!”

Christen flinches as Tobin yells, suddenly breaking down into tears. 

Tobin instantly feels the guilt rushing over her, watching as her wife starts crying. She moves forwards, going to reach out, but it doesn’t quite go to plan. 

“Don’t touch me.” Christen shakes Tobin’s arm off, standing up and making her way up the stairs. 

Christen doesn’t have to turn around to look at Tobin to know that this simple sentence just crushed her wife’s heart. 

But she can’t stay downstairs right now, she can’t be held, she just needs some space for a short while. 

She goes to sit outside on the balcony, looking up at the sun and taking some deep breaths. 

Christen stays there until she feels grounded again, clearing her head and coming up with an inner monologue about what she’s going to say to Tobin. 

She knows that they’ve both been on edge lately, which is why she’s willing to talk about this way sooner than she normally would. 

That’s why Christen makes her way back inside when she feels ready to do so, going to find Tobin. 

She doesn’t say anything when she’s standing in front of her wife, simply opening her arms out and inviting her in for a hug, hoping that it could comfort the two of them. 

No matter what the situation is, they’ve always been each other’s safe place, even in the middle of an argument or fight. 

When Christen’s arms wrap around Tobin’s neck, she reaches her breaking point too. 

Tobin starts crying into Christen’s neck, making the younger woman tighten her hold. 

She doesn’t know how long they stand here for. All she knows is that Tobin’s legs give in at some point, her body becoming too weak to hold her, as she sinks onto the floor. 

Christen doesn’t let go though. 

She just sits down next to Tobin, never breaking her hold. 

“I’ve got you, baby.” Christen whispers into Tobin’s ear, needing her to know that she’s not upset anymore. She hopes that it’ll help comfort Tobin if she knows that Christen doesn’t want to argue and that she’s okay, despite Tobin snapping and yelling at her. 

“I’m right here.” She continues to comfort Tobin, rubbing her back and leaving light kisses on the woman’s temple. 

Tobin just keeps trying to nuzzle further into Christen’s neck, as if she could dig a hole with her nose and hide her whole face inside of it. 

“I’m so sorry.” She cries and Christen pulls her in even closer, not leaving a single inch between them. “God, I’m messing this up so badly.”

The younger woman’s eyebrows furrow as she speaks up again. “You’re not messing anything up.”

“I just did.” Tobin closes her eyes, feeling annoyed at herself. “All I keep doing is making mistakes over and over again.”

“Tobin-” Christen tries to ask what she’s talking about, because she really can’t think of anything that Tobin is messing up. 

Everyone makes mistakes, but no matter how hard she tries, there’s nothing she can think of that Tobin’s been doing wrong lately. 

“Chris, I’m scaring you.” She voices her biggest fear and her body starts shaking. 

“No you’re not.” Christen looks at her with confusion, rubbing her back and trying to comfort the woman in her arms. “You could never scare me, baby.”

“Did you not just feel yourself flinching when I yelled at you?” Tobin rubs her face, finally letting out the thoughts that have been building up in her head. “Or when I got angry in the car outside the hospital?”

“That doesn’t mean you’re scaring me. I just didn't expect you to react that way in those moments.” She kisses Tobin’s forehead, trying to get her point across. 

Christen doesn’t think anyone could ever be scared of Tobin, the woman who couldn’t be softer to her family. Unless someone hurts her family, then even Christen thinks she’d be terrified of Tobin’s reaction. 

Despite Christen trying to comfort her, Tobin just starts crying harder, because she’s more than terrified that she is in fact scaring Christen. That’s the last thing she would ever want to do and she really can’t lose her wife, ever, so she has to be more conscious of her actions. 

Especially whilst she’s grieving and feels like she has no control over her emotions or life. 

Christen shuffles so she’s sitting right in front of Tobin, moving the woman’s knees, so she can get even closer. 

She reaches for Tobin’s head, tilting it up and wiping the tears that are streaming down her cheeks. Christen looks right into Tobin’s eyes and she doesn’t think she’s ever looked this deep into them. 

It’s almost like she’s staring beyond Tobin’s soul. 

“You don’t scare me, baby. I promise!” Christen doesn’t break eye contact once, wanting to be as sincere as she can be. “You make me feel so safed and loved. No one has ever cared about me more than you do. Right now, we’re going through something super tough and if the first thing you feel is anger, then that’s okay.”

“Just because I’m not used to seeing so much anger inside of you, doesn’t mean that you scare me.” She rubs her thumb on Tobin’s cheek. “When you look at me and when you look at Liv, I don’t see anger in your eyes, so no, you don’t scare me.”

There’s a long minute of silence and Christen understands that Tobin needs some time to process those words and gather her thoughts. 

“We don’t yell, ever, and we need to talk about that, because I hate yelling.” She speaks up again in a calm voice, wanting to approach this conversation. “I hate yelling at people and I hate being yelled at. Yelling, it doesn’t solve anything. All it does is make things worse and delay the conversation that can help fix the issue.”

“We both make mistakes, Tobin. I’ve said things to you during an argument that I definitely shouldn’t have, just like I’ve done things I shouldn’t have, but that’s okay. We can talk about it and learn from those mistakes, as long as we continuously talk and focus on having our marriage the way we want it to be.” Tobin is still looking into Christen’s eyes, their eye contact never breaking. “And I think we’re doing a darn good job in our marriage, because it consists of so much communication, honesty and trust. It’s pretty smooth sailing for the most part, if you ask me.”

“There are always going to be things that challenge us and put our marriage to test, whether it’s something as big as this miscarriage or something as small as a light argument about a disagreement. It’s going to happen, of course it is, but as long as we always remember to be patient and talk to each other, then we’re going to make it through all of that. We’re going to be faced with new situations all of the time, but the more we talk about our thoughts and opinions, the stronger we’ll grow.”

“And I kinda love the fact that it’s been years and I still learn something new about you every day, no matter how small it is.” Christen admits, wanting to know anything and everything about Tobin. 

Tobin gives her a nod, still not quite having the words to give more yet, but taking in every word Christen speaks.

“Hey, I love you. I love you so much, beyond words. You’re the love of my life and I can’t wait to spend every second of the rest of my life with you.” She leans forward, kissing Tobin’s lips. “I can’t wait for all the laughter, adventures, kids, family times, vacations - everything, including us eventually retiring and having grandchildren one day. I’ve never wanted anything more than I want you and that’ll never change.”

This time when Tobin tears up, it’s not out of guilt. “I just stopped crying and now you’re going to make me cry again.”

“I love you.” Christen repeats those three words again, squeezing Tobin’s knee. 

“I love you.” Tobin returns the words, taking a deep breath. 

“Come on, let’s at least go over to the sofa.” She stands up, reaching her hands out to help Tobin up too. 

Christen doesn’t let go of Tobin’s hand as they walk over, sitting down and letting Tobin rest her head on her lap.

“You look exhausted, baby.” She frowns as she looks down at Tobin’s face. 

“I am.” Tobin confirms, closing her eyes when she feels familiar fingers running through her hair. 

“Are you really sure you want to go back tomorrow?” Tobin wonders once she’s opened her eyes again, looking up at Christen. 

Christen gives Tobin a nod, now that they’re talking about it calmly. “I’m so nervous about it, but I need it as a distraction and to get back into the work life anyway, so yes.”

“Okay.” Tobin responds, not putting up a fight. “But don’t be nervous, I’m with you every step of the way.”

She reaches for Christen’s free hand, intertwining their fingers. “I’m sorry for thinking that I know what’s best for you.”

“Thank you for apologizing, I’m sorry too.” She gives Tobin a small smile. “And you do know what’s best for me, Tobin. I know that and you do too, but those are decisions that we have to make together.”

“You’re my wife, so obviously I want your input, but I want to talk about it and not just have one of us make a decision for the other and then believe that this is the only way.” Christen explains why she got so frustrated earlier. “And before you apologize for that, I know you don’t think that way. I know that it was just in the heat of the moment and that you aren’t trying to control me. I completely value your opinion, but I just wanted to discuss it and find out your reasons, instead of making a decision in the blink of an eye.”

“I’ll focus on making sure that I don’t do that again.” Tobin announces, now that she better understands where Christen is coming from, something that in the moment, she didn’t even realize she was doing. “I know it’s not an excuse, but I’m not doing great right now.”

“I know and I want to talk about that.” Christen nods, getting into that conversation. “Dr Stoney texted me today, whilst you were at work.”

“Did she?” Tobin’s eyes meet Christen’s, giving her hand a soft squeeze. 

Christen hums as she nods her head. “She sent me a link for this therapist.”

“She just mentioned that obviously we don’t have to feel obliged to go and if we don’t want to, then that’s perfectly fine.” She begins, trying to recall the text message. “But she sends it to every patient after they’ve had a miscarriage, stillbirth or passing of their child, and something even for patients who are struggling to get pregnant. It’s just good to talk about it with a professional sometimes and get to the bottom of your thoughts.” 

“Neither of us have to go if we don’t want to, but maybe it would be good to try out, even if it’s just once?” Christen suggests, having thought about it ever since she received the text. 

Tobin hums with a nod, seriously considering it too. It might do them good, even if they only go a few times. 

She already knows that they’d each be going by themselves, something that Tobin thinks might be useful for when they try to talk to each other about their feelings. They want to do that at their own pace, so focusing on themselves and giving the other a chance to work through their emotions at a different pace might be a good idea. 

“I think we should definitely consider it.” Tobin agrees with a nod, feeling too tired to think about it any further, but wanting to keep this conversation open for the future. 

Christen slides down the sofa, squishing in between Tobin and the backrest of the sofa. She closes her eyes, taking in Tobin’s comforting scent. 

Christen is so incredibly thankful for Tobin. 

All she ever wants to do is hide in Tobin’s arms and feel the safety they provide. They’re just so comfortable talking to each other about anything and even if Christen is having to learn and try to accept that this miscarriage isn’t her fault, Tobin has been the one trying to teach her that. 

\-------

Christen does go back to school the next morning. 

All of their friends can see just how pale Christen looks too. All traces of the once happy Christen seemed to have disappeared, not being left with someone who’s quiet, talking as little as possible, whilst barely being able to fake a smile. 

She looks like she’s fighting an internal battle the whole time. 

Alex is almost afraid to talk to Christen, because she looks like she’s about to break if she gets approached, so she tries to avoid it for most of the day and her friend seems to appreciate that. 

She can’t avoid it for the full day though, because she sees that something isn’t quite right with Tobin when she’s setting up some drills on the field. 

Alex had noticed this the other day too, seeing that it took a while for Tobin to compose herself, but the woman seemed to pull it together. 

Right now though, she decides it’ll be best to tell Christen, since the woman will already know what’s wrong with Tobin. Even if she wouldn’t know, Christen is like a Tobin dictionary and reads her wife like the back of her hand. 

“Hey, I think you might want to check on Tobin, Chris.” Alex approaches her with a soft voice. 

Christen turns around in her direction, giving her a questioning look, as if to ask her what she’s talking about. 

“She’s outside and she just doesn’t look like she’s okay.” She gives her a sad smile, so Christen stands up, walking out of the office and makes her way outside. 

When she spots Tobin, the woman is frustratedly shoving a cone with her foot. 

Christen checks the time, noticing they have another ten minutes before any students will be there, so she walks up to her. 

“Tob.” She speaks as soon as she’s within Tobin’s earshot. 

Tobin turns around, looking at Christen with dried tears on her cheeks and Christen’s heart breaks. That’s when she realizes just how  _ not great  _ Tobin is doing. 

“Baby.” Christen speaks under her breath, noticing that Tobin isn’t breathing very well. “Baby, look at me.”

“Look into my eyes and take a breath.” She places her hands on Tobin’s shoulders, as hazel eyes slowly meet green ones.

Tobin attempts to, but just continues to struggle. 

“Breathe, it’s only me. There’s no one else around, it’s just you and me.” Christen tries to soothe her, when she sees Tobin nervously looking around. 

Christen knows that Tobin is hurting for herself, Olivia and Christen, but she also knows that Tobin struggled to accept the fact that she’s allowed to grieve at first. They had a  _ long  _ discussion about this, where Tobin admitted that she feels like it’s not her place to grieve because she wasn’t the one carrying the baby. 

It took hours for Christen to help Tobin realize that Jordan was just as much Christen’s baby as they were Tobin’s. It took hours for Tobin to start letting herself feel properly, but since she has, it all seems to come crashing down one or two times a day - completely destroying the woman. 

“It’s not fair.” Tobin whispers into her hair after Christen pulled her into a hug, and she can’t do anything but agree with that. “I know.”

Christen just pulls her closer, hugging her wife for a long moment and telling her how much she loves her. 

“Pass me these.” Christen requests as she gently takes the small cones out of Tobin’s hand. “I’ll finish setting up for you, so you can give yourself a minute somewhere, okay?” 

Tobin nods, kissing Christen’s cheek and walking away. 

She takes a deep breath as she watches her wife disappearing into the distance, willing herself not to cry at just how broken Tobin’s face looked. 

Tobin comes back ten minutes later, after Christen had already started off her lesson. It had taken her a little longer than she expected to get herself together. 

“Sorry.” Tobin apologizes for taking so long. 

“Don’t be.” Christen shakes her head. “Are you okay to take over or do you want me to stay?”

“I’ll be fine.” Tobin nods. “Take a break before your next lesson.”

Christen nods, cautiously walking off again. 

“Chris?” Tobin whispers before she goes, waiting until the younger woman turns to look at her again. “Thank you.”

She winks at Tobin, giving her a silent response, as she goes back to the office. 

When she sits down again in her chair, she lets out a deep sigh, tilting her head back. 

Christen looks over at the pictures on her desk, one being of Tobin and Christen on their wedding day, and the other of them with Olivia on the girl’s first birthday. 

She sends a silent prayer to be able to see Tobin’s bright smile again soon. 

\-------

Christen brushes Tobin’s hairs behind her ear as they’re lying in bed that night. “Are you feeling any better now?”

Tobin shakes her head, just admitting that she isn’t right away. 

“Not even a tiny, tiny bit?” Christen wonders, wanting to know where Tobin’s head is at. 

Tobin shakes her head again as she leaves down a deep breath, shuffling closer to Christen. 

“It just comes and goes.” Tobin quietly admits, playing with her hem of Christen’s shirt. “I can be happy and start to feel myself again one moment and then it all comes crashing down on me the next moment.”

“It’ll happen less and less over time.” She tells her wife, hoping that it’s the truth. “It’s going to take a long time, but we’ll be okay.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Christen continues, being open to discuss Tobin’s feelings. 

“I do, but not tonight.” Tobin speaks and Christen accepts that right away. “I’m so tired today, I just want to sleep.”

Christen softly kisses Tobin, both of them getting lost in the feeling and innocence of it, just enjoying the connection between them. 

They turn the lights off after pulling away, cuddling close and closing their eyes. 

Just when Christen is about to start drifting off to sleep, Tobin speaks up again. 

“Babe, can Livvy sleep in our bed tonight?” She requests in a small voice. “I really need both of you.”

Christen turns the light on, squeezing Tobin’s hip and getting up to grab Olivia. She’d felt a little better today, but she needs to show Tobin that she’s there for her, just like Tobin has been there for Christen. 

Olivia wakes up for all of two seconds, mumbling some words Christen couldn’t understand, but drifting off to sleep again as soon as she’s lying in between her parents. 

\-------

The thing is, when Christen went back to work, she didn’t realize how hard it was going to be. She also didn’t realize that the blood, which likely won’t stop for another week, is a constant reminder of Jordan. 

She just really hopes that it’ll stop sooner rather than later. 

Today has just been a really tough day - the pain in her stomach is the worst it’s been over the past few days and she just needs it to go away. 

When Christen walks into the office at lunch, she’s just had enough. 

She’s had enough of the physical pain, enough of the emotional pain, and more than enough of somehow still having enough tears left to cry. 

Christen does the only thing that comforts her right now, so she crashes into Tobin’s open arms, clearly anticipating the move when she saw right through Christen and into her pain. 

She clings onto Tobin’s shoulders, somehow breaking down again, even though she tried  _ so hard  _ to stop it from happening. 

It’s not like Christen to cry much, especially in front of others and Kelley is surprised when she sees the extent of her friend’s pain. 

“Babe, I think you need to go home.” Tobin whispers into Christen’s ear. She knows how much pain her wife is in today and staying home would have really been the wiser decision. 

When she doesn’t get a response, she tries again. “Please, it’ll be better for you.”

Kelley moves closer to the couple, placing her hand on top of Christen’s. “Hey, are you okay, Chris?”

The obvious answer is  _ no,  _ but she wasn’t sure how else to comfort her friend. 

Christen just squeezes Kelley’s hand and then clings onto Tobin again, which results in Tobin giving Kelley a sad smile. 

Kelley rubs Christen’s back when she doesn’t get any other response, moving away again to give her some space. 

Christen eventually lets go, when her arms hurt from holding on so tightly, steadying her breaths and looking at Tobin with puffy, tired and red eyes. 

Tobin wipes Christen’s tears, leaving a soft kiss on her forehead and mumbling that she loves her, against her skin. 

“Sorry.” Christen chuckles at her friends as she wipes her tears again, not having planned to cry today. “I didn’t mean to.”

She feels Tobin wrap a protective arm around Christen, rubbing her shoulder in a comforting way.

“Don’t apologize.” Alex shakes her head, seeing how much effort it takes for Christen to even let out the smallest chuckle. “What’s going on, Chris?”

She takes a deep breath and looks at Tobin, who gives her a nod. 

“I had a miscarriage.” Christen wills herself to stay strong as she speaks those words out loud. “Well, I’m still kinda in the middle of it, I guess. That’s why we were off last week and why we went to urgent care, and it’s just so fucking ha-” 

Her voice fades as she bites her quivering lip, forcing herself to stay strong. 

Tobin rests her forehead against the side of Christen’s head, giving her shoulder a loving squeeze. 

Julie opens her arms out first, a sympathetic look on her face as she pulls both of them into a group hug. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Go home.” Kristie announces when she pulls away from hugging them too. “Both of you.”

“Kristie, we’re-” Christen begins, but she doesn’t get a chance to finish her sentence. 

“Go home.” She shakes her head. “Stay off tomorrow and take the weekend to rest, and then let me know how you feel on Sunday night.”

Christen gives her an unsure look. “But Kris, just because we’re your friends doesn’t-”

“I’d do this for anyone. Now please, go home. I’ll handle everything else.” Kristie gives Christen and Tobin a pleading look. “Your mental health matters more than your job.”

\-------

Tobin heats up Christen’s hot water bottle when they get home, after they’ve changed out of their work clothes. 

“Why don’t we take a nap together before we have to pick Liv up?” Tobin suggests, those being something they’ve found themselves doing a lot lately. 

They both seem to need the rest though, considering neither of them are sleeping great at night. 

Tobin sets an alarm, once Christen is settled into her arms on the sofa. 

She rests her hand on the hot water bottle after Christen falls asleep, checking that it’s still warm enough and pulling the blanket a little higher. 

“I love you so much, Chris.” She sighs as she lets her body relax, closing her eyes. 

When they wake up from the alarm, Tobin tries to convince Christen to stay at home. 

“Babe, why don’t you stay and sleep a little longer?” She wonders, knowing Christen needs the rest. 

Christen just shakes her head though. “I want to come with you.”

“Are you sure?” Tobin cautiously checks. 

“Please.” Christen nods and Tobin can see how much she wants to. 

“Come on then.” She softly agrees, standing up and holding a hand out for her wife. “I was gonna go grocery shopping after, do you want to come too?”

And Christen nods happily, deciding that it sounds like a good idea. 

Tobin is the one to grab Olivia out of daycare, bringing her back to the car, before they make their way to the grocery store. 

Christen carries Olivia on her hip the whole time, wanting to be close to her daughter. 

Throughout the trip, Tobin and Christen try to get Olivia to say words of random items they drop into the shopping cart, something that ends with Olivia getting confused and mumbling random sounds instead. 

When the cashier tells them that their family is adorable, Tobin could see the way Christen’s eyes lit up as she thanked the woman with a smile. 

Olivia, little miss independent, is allowed to crawl around by herself while Christen and Tobin put away the groceries. 

Tobin looks over as Olivia stands up, trying to walk a couple of steps, before tripping over one of her toys and lightly hitting her head. 

“Shit.” Tobin mumbles quietly, dropping what’s in her hands onto the kitchen counter and making her way over to Olivia. 

The little girl starts crying - more at the shock of falling, than anything else. 

Tobin picks her up, bouncing Olivia in her arms and rubbing her back, trying to calm her down. She chuckles as tiny hands cling onto her jumper, Olivia’s face hidden in Tobin’s shoulder. “She’s definitely getting her snot on my jumper.”

Tobin wipes the tears off her small cheeks, rubbing her thumb over the tiny bump that’s starting to form. “You’re gonna have an egghead.”

Olivia just sniffles and Tobin pouts, holding her close again. “Oh, my poor little girl.”

“Hey, at least she’s learning how to be tough from an early age.” Tobin shrugs in Christen’s direction, hearing the younger woman let out a small laugh. 

She’s stayed back, letting Tobin handle the situation. 

“What did she do?” Christen wonders, having missed the reason behind Olivia’s tears. 

“She just tried to walk and trip over this, so she hit her head when she fell.” Tobin holds up the toy, as Christen walks over and leaves a light kiss on the bump on Olivia’s head. 

Christen finishes unpacking the groceries, while Tobin plays with Olivia, trying to distract her daughter. 

Christen comes up behind Tobin once she’s done, kneeling behind her and wrapping her arms around Tobin’s shoulders, to peek over them. 

“Mommy!” Olivia excitedly pats the space next to her. 

“Okay, bossy boots.” Christen chuckles, sitting down next to Olivia too. 

As she’s sitting there, she thinks that yes, this is doing her a lot better than being at work. Just spending time being completely and utterly in love with her family is exactly what she needs to heal the hole in her heart. 

\-------

Christen feels the bed move when Tobin shoots up, clearly no longer fast asleep. 

She tiredly rolls over, facing the woman, just to see Tobin sitting it, sweat on her forehead as she breathes heavily. 

Christen sits up right away, rubbing her back and suddenly feeling wide awake. 

“Baby.” She whispers, gently notifying Tobin that she’s now awake too. “Talk to me.”

Christen can see how weak Tobin is right now, so she pulls her close and wraps her up in her arms. 

“I- I keep getting these nightmares of something happening to you or Liv.” She admits with a shaky voice, her whole body showing that fear. 

Christen closes her eyes, squeezing Tobin. 

“Nothing is going to happen, okay?” She assures her, lifting Tobin’s head, so she’s looking at her. “We’re both safe and we’re not going anywhere.”

Tobin nods through a deep breath, her lip still quivering. 

“I promise that Liv and I are right here by your side.” Christen draws a circle on Tobin’s back. 

“I- Whenever I think about it, um, my chest- My chest, it tightens up and then I can’t breathe.” Tobin slowly admits, avoiding eye contact, and feeling that same reaction start again as she explains her feelings to Christen. “It makes my heart ache so badly too.”

Christen seems to sense what Tobin is talking about, turning to face Tobin and tightly gripping her arms, asking Tobin to look at her. 

The grip she has on Tobin’s arm is so tight that it should hurt and she’s sure that it could leave a light bruise if she holds on for much longer, but she’s not doing it to hurt Tobin. 

She’s doing it because Tobin needs this right now. 

She needs to know that Christen is there and not going anywhere, she needs to feel her presence. 

“Baby, look in my eyes.” Christen encourages and Tobin does so. “Now breathe, slowly.”

She does it slowly, with Tobin, until her wife’s breathing returns to normal. “That’s it. You’re okay.”

Christen pulls her in closely, kissing Tobin’s temple once she’s breathing steadily again. 

“I’m sorry.” Tobin apologizes in a small voice. “You shouldn’t have to deal with my reactions.”

“Baby, I’m your wife. Anything happening to you is happening to me too.” Christen tucks Tobin’s hair behind her ear, letting her know that no matter what, she will always be by her wife’s side. 

“But you’re the one that’s-” Tobin begins in her tired state, having woken up in the middle of the night. 

“Don’t even finish that sentence.” Christen sternly shakes her head, even though her voice stays soft as she cuts Tobin off. “I might be the one experiencing the physical side effects of it, but you have every right on this earth to feel all the grief. Jordan was supposed to be your baby, so you’re allowed to feel all the emotions that you feel. I don’t care how many times I need to remind you of that, I will do so every time.”

She pulls Tobin down, so they’re lying on the mattress again, resting Tobin’s head on Christen’s chest as she pulls the covers over Tobin’s shoulders. 

She gently runs her fingers along Tobin’s soft skin, taking a deep breath. “You know, grief is a strange thing.” 

“It just happens when you lose someone or something that’s important to you and everyone grieves differently.” Christen begins, deciding they should have this conversation. “My mom taught me that there are supposed to be five stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, sadness or sometimes even symptoms of depression, and acceptance. You might not feel all of them, but maybe you do.”

“What was the first thing you felt or thought when Dr Stoney told us?” Christen wonders, wanting Tobin to start thinking about her feelings. 

“I can’t even remember.” Tobin lets out a sad sight, recalling everything going blank. “I felt numb and I wasn’t processing the words anymore.” 

Christen nods as she speaks again. “That’s the denial, where everything feels overwhelming. That’s what I mean when I say everyone experiences grief differently, because I felt like telling her to do more tests, to check again and that she must be wrong. I knew she wasn’t, she knows what she’s doing and she even consulted another doctor, but still, my initial reaction was that it can’t be true.”

Christen leaves a kiss on Tobin’s head, seeing that this is helping her, so she continues. 

She was always curious growing up and had so many questions for her parents, that she learned so many things from a young age. When one of their family’s friends lost someone, she kept hearing people talk about grief, and of course, she had to ask. 

Christen ended up doing a project on it in high school, researching and trying to understand it better, always wanting to know more. 

“And then there’ll be so many other emotions after that, which can happen in any order.” She starts talking again. 

While taking that short pause, Christen can see that Tobin goes to say something, so she stops talking and waits for Tobin to gather her thoughts. 

“I feel helpless.” Tobin admits after a long moment. “I feel like there are so many things I need to do right now...for you, for Liv, for us as a family, but I don’t know what. I want to help, I want to make it all better for the three of us, but I wouldn’t know what to do.”

“You don’t have to do anything, apart from being you and spending time with us, I promise.” Christen chips in, letting Tobin continue.

“But I also get frustrated  _ a lot  _ and I think that might be a little part of that panic too. I’ll get so upset at, I don’t know, the universe, for doing this to us, that I almost get a little aggressive.” She starts to slowly piece her feelings together by herself. “It’s like in the car after we left the hospital. I didn’t mean to scare you in that moment, but it just builds up inside of me.”

“It’s okay, I know you would never hurt me or Liv.” She assures her wife. “I knew that you were just really upset and that you wouldn’t do anything to harm me.”

“God, no.” Tobin shakes her head right away. “I would never in a million years hurt either of you. I’d never hurt anyone, unless they were trying to hurt you two. I want to do nothing but protect both of you.”

“I know.” Christen nods with a small smile. “And I feel that, because I feel so safe with you.”

Tobin tilts her head up, kissing Christen’s jaw, before getting back to her original point. “That’s something I feel quite a lot though.”

She nods, also getting back to their conversation. “That’ll be the anger stage, where sometimes it’s best to just let it out.”

“And I know for a fact that you experienced bargaining, because we talked about this together.” Christen moves on to the next point. “It can be the part where you wish that it wasn’t them and instead something or someone else, but for us it was the  _ what ifs,  _ where we look for the outcome that we wanted.”

“That might be where some of that helpless feeling is coming from too and where you feel the most vulnerable, because you think of everything that could have been.” Christen assumes, wanting Tobin’s thoughts on it. “And I know you - I know when you’re vulnerable and I also know that you struggle to open up to people when you feel that way. I feel so lucky that you let me in on that part of yourself and that you trust me with your vulnerability, so when you feel like that and if you feel ready to do so, please talk to me.”

“I know doing that can be scary and that you already open up to me more than you do to anyone else, but I want to be able to listen and hear all of your thoughts. I just want to be there for you.” She finishes, waiting for Tobin’s response. 

Tobin nods at Christen’s words. “You’re my safe place. I know that I can trust you and that no matter what, I’ll never get any judgement for it.”

“Never.” Christen holds her closer. “You can talk to me about anything and everything, and I hope you know that too.”

“I know that you’ve had some of the symptoms of the depression stage too, which was expected, I guess.” Christen brings them back, making sure to finish this conversation fully. “I can feel when you struggle to fall asleep or you can’t let your mind rest at night. You’ve cried into my arms and you can do that as many times as you need to, they’re always there to comfort you.”

“Even something like you and me staying off work and having the weekend to ourselves is part of that, because yes, we’re still with each other and taking care of each other, but we also knew that we had to isolate ourselves from others, so we could start coping with our loss.” 

Tobin hears every word Christen is saying, chipping in her own thoughts. “And we both haven’t been eating as much, although we’re starting to get our appetites back and forcing ourselves to eat enough, even if we’re not hungry.”

“Yeah, that’s a big one too.” Christen nods. “Acceptance might take a long time.”

“We might find acceptance at completely different times, or we might find it at the same time.” She starts moving her stilled hand again. “Of course, we’ll always carry this around with us and Jordan is someone we’ll never forget, but acceptance is more about accepting that this happened and that we can’t change it.”

“No matter how much we grieve, it won’t change the fact that I had a miscarriage, so eventually, we’ll be able to keep moving on and look into the future.” Christen lets out a deep breath. 

“I wish Jordan could have been part of that future.” Tobin mumbles and Christen only just hears it.

“Me too.” She whispers, both of them taking a moment. 

“It’s natural to experience all of this and your grief will be different to mine, but that doesn’t mean that one of us is grieving and the other isn't. You might go back and forth between different stages or experience more than one stage at the same time.” Christen quietly speaks again. “Just please promise me that you won’t pull away. Please promise me that you won’t distance yourself from me. I need you to talk to me and let me in.”

Tobin sticks her little finger up, lifting her head up from Christen’s chest with a chuckle. “Pinky promise.”

Christen chuckles as she hooks her little finger through Tobin’s. 

Tobin rolls over, lying slightly on top of Christen as she lies on her front, leaning up so she can see Christen’s face. 

“How are you so strong?” She wonders as she moves one of Christen’s curls off her shoulder and onto the pillow. “How do you always have the right thing to say to me and how can you change the way I think - change my whole world - when you’re hurting just as much as me?” 

“You’re so strong too.” She looks into Tobin’s hazel eyes. “You’re stronger than you’ll ever know.”

Christen inspects Tobin’s face and notices how much more relaxed she looks now, which is nothing like the Tobin she woke up to nearly an half-an-hour ago. 

“You know how you said that you keep getting angry and frustrated?” She wonders, wanting to know a little more about that. “Do you want to tell me how you feel when that happens?” 

“I do get angry sometimes, just when I think about it all and like you said, that’s part of my grief, but I think it’s more of a panic a lot of the time.” Tobin thinks over it in her head. “It’s sort of like a mini panic attack, I guess.”

“What happens when you get them? Is it just like tonight, when you woke up?” She tries to understand Tobin’s feelings better. 

“Pretty much, yeah.” Tobin nods, trying to keep the description simple, even if she doesn’t quite understand it herself. “I can feel my heart speed up and start beating really fast, and then I struggle to breathe. I guess that because I’m breathing so fast and everything around me is just a blur, I can’t focus on any of it or hear any background noise.”

Christen realizes in that moment that this is exactly what Tobin had at work too, that day where Alex told her she should check on Tobin. It makes her wonder just how often Tobin has been in this situation, without Christen knowing. 

“Just then, you started sweating.” She voices when she remembers that this wasn’t the case the last time Christen helped Tobin. “Do you normally get that too?” 

“No, this time was the first time I had that.” She explains, and Christen’s heart just breaks for Tobin.

“Oh, baby.” Christen frowns, pulling Tobin down and holding her close again. 

“I get them when I get angry sometimes, but it’s mainly whenever I think of you and Olivia.” Tobin explains further. “I get so scared that something is going to happen to you two and that I might lose one or both of you.”

“Baby.” Christen cuts her off with teary eyes. “Nothing is going to happen. Not as long as I can help it. Liv and I are going to do anything in our control to make sure we’re safe.”

She whispers sweet nothings into Tobin’s ear as she lets her hand move under Tobin’s shirt, comfortingly rubbing her back. 

“Try to sleep again.” Christen suggests. “I’ll stay awake until you’re asleep and make sure that you’re okay. We can talk more tomorrow, or whenever you feel like it.”

Tobin nods into Christen, whispering into the silence. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m here for you, always.” Are the last words Tobin hears before the exhaustion hits her. 

Tobin feels so safe and loved falling asleep in Christen’s arms, that she knows everything is going to be okay. She’s so lucky to have someone who will comfort her and talk to her in the middle of the night without a single complaint, just wanting to be there for her.

\-------

Just like Christen supports Tobin, Tobin also supports Christen. 

They’re lying on the sofa a couple of weeks later, watching someone late at night. 

“Baby, I feel so uncomfortable in my body and I hate it.” Christen suddenly admits. This is something she’s been nervous to say out loud. 

She’s always been comfortable and confident in her own body, at least most of the time, but she knows that Tobin needs to know this. She knows that she can’t be intimate with Tobin until she can get rid of this feeling and she also knows that if they were to do anything before she’s more confident in herself again, then Tobin would likely never forgive herself for thinking she did something Christen wouldn’t want. 

Christen also knows how gentle Tobin is and how she’ll make sure that Christen is comfortable again, before taking it any further. 

Much to Christen’s surprise, Tobin turns the television off, sticking her hand out and asking Christen to go upstairs with her. 

She gives Tobin a questioning look when they walk into the bathroom and Tobin turns the shower on. 

“Tob-” Christen begins, unsure where her sentence is heading. 

“Do you trust me?” Tobin asks and Christen gives her a confused look. 

“Tobin.” She gives her a look that says  _ obviously.  _

Tobin just lifts Christen’s chin, asking her again, because she wants to hear her say it. 

“With my whole life.” Christen nods surely and Tobin hooks her fingers through the hem of Christen’s hoodie. 

“Can I?” She requests and Christen nods. 

Tobin looks up at Christen every time, waiting for a sure nod, even if she knows that Christen has had no problem getting changed in front of Tobin or being undressed around her. 

“Tob, I-” Christen starts, unsure where this is going. 

Tobin holds Christen’s face in her hands, looking into her eyes. 

“We’re not going to do anything, I promise.” Tobin tells her. “I know you’re not ready right this second and that’s okay.”

And Christen gives her a sure nod, because she trusts Tobin.

They step into the warm shower and Tobin just washes her, with no intention of anything else. She washes Christen’s hair, massaging the shampoo into her curls, and tells her just how beautiful she is as she holds her under the warm fall of water. 

Tobin wraps a towel around Christen’s body as soon as they step out into the cold again, doing the same to herself, before drying Christen. 

She leaves a light kiss on every part of Christen’s body as she does so, mumbling just why she loves each part of her body. If it would be a different situation, they both know that they would have ended the night by falling into bed together and spending time making love to each other. 

It’s not a different situation though, so Tobin is aiming for it to be soft and meaningful, and nothing other than that. She knows it isn’t going any further and Christen knows that too. 

“Do you want to sleep with or without clothes?” Tobin wonders after drying herself too, hanging up their towels. 

“Without.” Christen announces right away, because she’s never had a problem with being naked in front of Tobin and she’s missed the intimacy of sleeping without any clothes acting as barriers between them. 

“Okay.” Tobin shuts the bathroom light off, climbing into bed. 

As Christen closes her eyes, feeling Tobin’s warm skin against her own, she doesn’t want to be anywhere else. 

It might still take her a couple of weeks to feel ready for something more, but she’s always felt more than comfortable being vulnerable in front of Tobin and she can’t wait for the next time they get to explore each other’s bodies. 

\-------

Thanksgiving rolls around before they know it and the whole family is back together in Florida. 

“We’re outside by the fire pit, are you coming?” Jeffrey asks Tobin when he walks past her on the way back to the patio door, earning a nod in response. 

She puts her empty glass in the sink, leaving the room to head towards the patio too. 

Tobin spots Christen approaching her in the living room, opening her arms out to move them around her wife’s shoulders and pull Christen into a hug. She can feel Christen let out a deep sigh as she also wraps her arms around Tobin’s body, holding on tightly.

Tobin rubs Christen’s shoulder blades, turning her head to leave a kiss on Christen’s. 

“I’m so thankful to have you by my side.” Christen whispers, hiding her face in Tobin’s hair. “I couldn’t have gotten through any of this with anyone else.” 

“Me too! I’m so thankful for you, Liv and our little angel!” Tobin speaks in a hushed tone, pulling back after another moment of just holding each other and leaving a soft kiss on Christen’s lips. 

“I’m just getting something to drink and then I’ll be out, do you want anything?” Christen wonders, taking a step towards the hallway. 

Tobin shakes her head. “I’m good, thanks.”

She moves to open the sliding glass doors, gently closing them behind her again and walking the fews steps on the patio towards the group. 

Katie, who had been watching their interaction from outside, leaves a comment to Tobin when she spots her coming towards them. “You two have been clingy recently.” 

Olivia stretches her arms out when she spots Tobin, a smile on her face. “Mama!”

Tobin walks over to Jeff, picking up her daughter who was sitting on his lap, and kissing her head. She spots the empty outdoor sofa, walking over and sitting down. 

She gives Katie a sad smile, sighing before responding. “We’ve just had a difficult past few months.” 

“Sorry!” Katie cringes, being able to sense that she hit a nerve she probably shouldn’t have. “Are you guys okay?” 

Tobin nods, giving her a half smile. “Yeah, we will be.” 

Cindy gives her a cautious look from where she’s sitting opposite Tobin. “Do I need to get my motherly self involved?” She jokes, trying to lighten the mood but Tobin knows that there’s a hint of seriousness behind it. 

She would never get involved in their marriage, but if one of them would hurt the other to a large extent, Tobin knows that Cindy wouldn’t hesitate to chip in. It’s something she’d do for any of her sibling’s relationships too. “Which one of you needs a talking to?” 

She moves Olivia so she’s more comfortable in her arms, sitting sideways and resting her head down against Tobin’s stomach. 

“No, Mom. You don’t need to get your  _ motherly self  _ involved.” Tobin lets out a small chuckle. “No one did anything wrong. It was never about our marriage, as in an argument or anything like that, or between me and Chris for that matter. We’re really happy together, I promise.” 

Katie can see the pain in Tobin’s eyes, hating to see her younger sister hurting. “Is everything alright, though?” 

Tobin nods, silently hoping that the topic will be dropped any minute. “Yeah, I don’t really want to talk about it anymore, but we’re getting there.” 

Christen comes outside again in that moment and Tobin is thankful for the distraction when the rest of her family reluctantly let the topic go. She shuffles over, making space for Christen and wrapping her free arm around her shoulder once she sits down. 

Tobin uses the opportunity to close her eyes and take a deep breath, trying to push her emotions down. She feels Christen squeeze her thigh a few seconds later.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Christen frowns, feeling how tense Tobin’s body is. 

“Nothing, I promise.” Tobin shakes her head, kissing Christen’s forehead and not wanting her to worry. “Half an hour and then we’ll put this little one to bed?” 

Christen nods, turning her head and joining into the conversation that was currently going on between Taylor and Cindy. 

Tobin fails to see Perry observing them both carefully, keeping an eye on them, until they get out of their little bubble and into the conversation. 

She watches as Christen leans a little further into Tobin, Tobin sighing as she looks down to the floor and then putting on a front, as if the past three minutes never happened. 

**\-------**

The first thing they do the next morning is decide that they’ll grab two of the paddleboards Cindy and Jeff own, and take them outside to the beach. 

No one else is awake yet, so they can have some short and peaceful moments outside in the morning sun. 

Tobin and Christen get changed into their bikinis, both taking a shirt and cotton shorts to wear over the top, before dressing Olivia in her small swimsuit. Christen puts Olivia’s life vest on whilst Tobin covers her in sunscreen, pulling out her little hat so she doesn’t get a sunburn on her head. 

They bring the boards out to the water, it being still and peaceful today, with only the smallest occasional waves. 

Tobin holds Olivia whilst Christen gets on her board, only being out far enough for them to still stand if they need to. She passes Olivia to her wife after, Christen sitting with her legs on either side of the board and her daughter sitting in between.

“Mama!” Olivia announces excitedly, pointing over to Tobin as if she’s only just noticed her. 

“Yeah, there’s Mama.” Christen confirms, when she sees where Olivia is pointing. “She’s going on her board too.” 

They paddle out a little further, facing out towards the sun that has just risen an hour ago. 

“Mommy?” Olivia pats Christen’s leg after a long moment, trying to get her attention. She points out towards the water, turning to look at her mother. “ ‘shen?” She questions with wide eyes. 

“That’s right, Liv. That’s the ocean!” Christen meets Tobin’s eyes and they both chuckle. 

They still find it funny that apart from  _ Mommy  _ and  _ Mama _ ,  _ beach  _ and  _ ocean  _ were two of Olivia’s first words. They already know that she’ll end up being a beach lover too, just like her mothers are. 

Tobin dips her fingers into the water, lightly flicking it at Olivia. The little girl giggles as she wipes it off herself. 

Christen reaches for Olivia’s wrist and gently holds it, dipping her fingers into the water too and flicking Olivia’s hand up at Tobin. She starts giggling again when she sees her mother's reaction. 

“Mama’s a bit silly, isn’t she?” Christen smiles at the laughter coming from her daughter. “You know what I think about that, Livvy?” 

Christen reaches for Tobin’s board, tipping it over so she lands in the water. 

Olivia’s little eyes go wide as Tobin comes up on the surface of the water. She points next to them, directly at Tobin, who is now in the water. “Oh no!” 

Christen bursts out laughing, and for the first time in months, it’s a genuine and true laugh. Not a small or half-forced laugh, but an actual and effortless one. Being with her little family, away from work and any stress, just relaxing together, might be the exact thing she needed to reset her mind. 

Tobin climbs back onto her board, laughing along just as hard. Christen locks eyes with her and can see the laughter reaching her wife’s eyes too. 

“I love you.” Christen smiles widely as Tobin sits down again. 

“And I love you!” Tobin responds, looking at her with soft eyes. She knows exactly what is going through Christen’s head in the moment and that their current thoughts are identical. 

Christen calms her breathing again, about to speak up when she hears Olivia mumble quietly. “Wuv yu.” 

Tobin’s jaw drops as Christen’s head shoots over to her, having heard the new word for the first time. “I love you, Livvy.” Christen attempts to get the word out of her again. 

“Wuv yu!” Olivia beams excitedly, loving that she’s making her parents smile. 

“Oh my gosh, we have a new word.” Christen gushes, feeling a little overwhelmed. “Can you believe how big she’s getting?” 

Tobin shakes her head in disbelief. “It feels like she was born just yesterday.”

“She’s so precious.” Christen runs her fingers through Olivia’s short curls. 

Tobin looks between them both with a smile. “She looks just like you and it’s so cute. You both make me so happy.” 

“We’re so lucky, baby.” Christen smiles down at her daughter.

“We really are.” Tobin agrees as she nods her head. 

“I can’t wait to keep building a family with you!” Christen comments as she thinks about the future. Tobin agrees with her, responding with a  _ me too, _ before looking out at the ocean again. 

“I think that our next child is going to be the last one that I want to carry.” Christen admits nervously, wanting to be honest with Tobin. 

“I’d love for us to have the family we’ve always planned, but I just don’t think I can carry any more children after we have our next one.” She continues, biting her lip. 

Tobin reaches her hand out, linking their fingers together and dropping it into the water between them. “Whatever you want, okay? I think that I might want to carry one in the future too.” 

“You do?” Christen wonders with slight surprise, knowing that Tobin once mentioned she’ll consider it, but not thinking that she spent any time doing so yet.

“Yeah!” Tobin gives her a sure nod. “Seeing you go through it and experiencing it with you just made me think about it even more. Plus, you only live once, right?” 

“I love that idea.” Christen admits with a smile. “A baby Tobin sounds pretty perfect.” 

“I mean, I know we’ve always said three or four, but how many do you think we’d actually want?” Tobin wonders, having thought about this recently. 

“Why don’t we go with whatever feels right? There’s no rush, we have all the time in the world.” Christen shrugs, knowing she just wants them to be content and have their family feel complete. “We know that we definitely want three, and then once it comes to that we can decide if we want to stay as a family of five or be a family of six.” 

Tobin nods after thinking over it for a moment. 

“So once the time comes, we can speak about it again.” Christen continues. “And then we can talk about whether you’ll want to carry our third child or not. If not then we can look into adoption and if you do then we’ll go with IVF, like we’ve done with Livvy and Jord. There’s no timeline or rules for this, just whatever we’re comfortable with, okay?” 

“Yeah.” Tobin smiles, watching as Olivia starts shuffling further towards the edge of the board on her bum, trying her best to stay steady on it. Christen keeps a light arm wrapped around her, in case she needs to catch her. 

Tobin hops off her board though, pulling both boards a little further towards the shore, so she can stand better. 

She lifts Olivia off Christen’s board, letting her into the water. She’s so used to the ocean, that she’s more than capable of paddling and swimming a little, with the help of her swimming aid keeping her above the water.

It makes Tobin laugh every time, seeing how excited she gets when she’s in the water - always trying to splash her . 

Olivia splashes a little too hard this time, swallowing some water and coughing on it. She isn’t a child that cries much, already being so outdoorsy and tough. She’s normally fine within seconds, but panics for a short moment at the unexpected water that was in her face. 

Tobin scoops her up, patting her back as she coughs and holds onto Tobin’s shoulders. 

“You’re okay, Livvy!” She soothes until she calms down again, no longer coughing and being on the verge of tears. “Look, we can make bubbles instead.” She suggests, holding onto her daughter as she dips her own head partially under the water. She blows small bubbles, Olivia giggling as she sees them come to the surface. 

She moves her own head down too, trying to copy her mother and do the same actions. 

Christen takes a picture of the two of them, smiling softly at how cute they look. 

Olivia figures out how to blow the bubbles with a little help from Tobin, then decides to try and pop them by going to catch them every time a new one appears. Christen can’t help but laugh at how goofy her daughter is, knowing that she’s definitely got her ability to make Christen laugh from Tobin. 

“Up!” Olivia requests once she gets bored of making bubbles, reaching her arms out for Tobin. She picks her up, knowing right away what Olivia was asking for. 

She holds her sides, lifting her up and throwing her up a little, before catching her again. Tobin repeats this one too many times, her arms eventually feeling like they’re going to drop off. 

“Should we see how far she can swim?” Tobin asks Christen, waiting for a response. “Baby, she’s not even two years old. She’s still learning how to walk the short path from here to your parents patio, nevermind swimming a marathon.” 

“I only meant a tiny distance.” Tobin laughs at Christen’s wording. 

“Alright, come on then.” Christen gives in, moving the boards all the way onto the sand and ensuring that her phone won’t float out into the water from where she puts it. It’s a private beach that’s always quiet anyway, there being quite a large gap between the houses, so she knows that no one will steal it. 

She walks back into the water, standing opposite Tobin and reaching her arms out. 

“Can you swim to Mommy?” Tobin tries as she lets Olivia paddle a little, quickly crossing the short gap. She takes a small step back to try again, waiting as Olivia reaches her. 

They try one more, Olivia reaching Christen with a bit of a struggle. Christen picks her up into her arms, kissing her daughter’s head. 

“Someone’s going to sleep well for their nap later.” Christen chuckles, knowing that Olivia must be starting to get tired. She wipes the small patches of sand off Olivia’s face before any of it can get into her eyes. 

“I think it’s bath and feeding time for you, cutie.” Christen announces as she looks at how much sand is on Olivia’s body. 

It’s almost pointless to bathe her now, since they know that she’ll be in the sand again later anyway, but she’s currently covered in wet sand and Christen knows that it’ll start irritating her at some point. 

She dries herself with her towel, putting her cotton shorts and shirt on at the same time as Tobin, before moving the boards up a little further, leaving them out on the beach for later. 

Tobin picks Olivia up again as Christen grabs their towels and her phone. 

She moves close to her wife, leaving a soft kiss on Tobin’s lips. “Thank you for being my person.”

They walk the short steps back to the house, spotting that Cindy is already sitting out on the patio, having woken up early too. She hadn’t realized that Tobin, Christen and Olivia were already up, but she was more than happy to sit on the outdoor seat and watch them from the distance. 

“Morning.” Cindy greets as they both smile and return those words. 

“Do you want a coffee, babe?” Tobin offers to make both of them one, to which Christen gives her a pleading look. 

“Yes, please.” She nods as she takes Olivia out of Tobin’s arms, sitting down on the seat opposite Cindy. 

“How’s my little princess?” Cindy smiles as she looks over at Olivia. 

“She’s a sandy princess.” Christen chuckles, moving Olivia’s towel, so she can brush some of the dried sand off her skin. “She figured out how to blow bubbles in the water and swallowed half the ocean in the process.”

Cindy laughs at Christen’s words. “She’s such a little beach bum.” 

Christen stands Olivia up on the wooden deck, lifting the towel, so she can shake all of the sand off. 

Olivia has other plans though, slowly patting across the wood. She walks over to Cindy, placing her hands on Cindy’s thigh, as a request for Cindy to lift her onto her lap. 

She curls up as soon as she’s comfortable, closing her eyes and deciding to take a nap. 

“I love how much she adores you, even if she doesn’t get to see you as often as we want her to.” Christen tilts her head with a soft smile. 

“Me too.” Cindy smiles brightly, looking down at her granddaughter. “I actually wanted to ask you guys about that.”

Christen hums, showing her mother-in-law that she’s listening. 

“Jeff is going to a golf tournament with his friends for a week and a half in May or June, which I know is still a while away, but I was going to ask if I could fly out to LA during that time and visit you guys?” Cindy wonders, before rambling a little. “I don’t want to get in your way or anything, so I can just book a room in a hotel downtown.”

“You’re always welcome to come and visit us!” Christen excitedly tells her right away. “Both of you are and we love having you around, but no way are you staying at a hotel. Not in a million years!” 

“I just don’t want to get in the way, because I know you guys are busy with work and you have your own lives, so I don’t want to invade.” She shrugs, telling it how it is.

“No chance!” Christen sternly shakes her head. “You’d never get in our way.”

“Are you sure?” Cindy feels the need to double check. 

“A thousand percent. We  _ love  _ having you with us!” Christen assures her, without a doubt. 

Tobin opens the patio door, spotting Olivia. “Well that was quick.”

“I know, she hasn’t even eaten anything yet.” Christen chuckles now too. “She’s going to be so hungry by the time she wakes up.”

Tobin shrugs with a smile. “She woke up earlier than usual today though, so we’ll just feed her when she wakes up.”

“Yeah and then we can just give her a bath tonight, since she’ll probably spend the rest of the day in the sand anyway.” She suggests as Tobin agrees. 

Tobin drops her head on her wife’s shoulder, before making a joke. “I’ll take a nap too.” 

“The amount you can sleep will forever baffle me.” Christen laughs as she kisses Tobin’s head. 

“It’s a real skill.” Tobin lifts her head with a chuckle. “One that you wish you had.”

“Sure, whatever you say.” She shrugs as Tobin passes Christen her coffee. 

“She’s beautiful.” Cindy gushes as she looks back down at her granddaughter. 

“She is!” Tobin agrees with a nod. “I’m the luckiest to spend some time with the three most important women in my life.”

Cindy gives her daughter a soft look as Christen teases her with a wink. “Someone woke up and decided to be sappy today.”

Tobin just chuckles too, leaving a kiss on Christen’s cheek. 

\-------

That night, Tobin and Christen take some time to themselves, once Olivia is in bed. They walk through the sand together, sitting down to watch the sunset. 

“Can I tell you something?” Christen interrupts the peaceful crashing of the waves as she speaks up. 

Tobin looks to her side with a nod. “You know you can tell me anything.”

“I know, just let me explain this one please, because I don’t want you to take it the wrong way.” She bites her lip, trying to start thinking of a way to phrase this. 

“Okay.” Tobin nods, so Christen starts talking. 

“I’m really, really glad that our marriage survived this.” She starts with a deep breath, seeing that Tobin’s facial expression doesn’t change as she waits for Christen to explain. “I never once doubted that we could do it and I know that it’ll always be you or no one, but you hear about it way too often, because it happens - families or relationships sadly falling apart after experiencing any type of loss. I can’t imagine how difficult that must be and feeling those emotions just made me realize how easily something like that could happen to people.”

“There were so many days where both of us just wanted to lock ourselves in a dark room and not speak to anyone, but because we both understand what the other needs and feels so well, it stopped us from shutting the other out. Sure we had a handful of fights that were over something pointless, just because we needed to let our frustration out, but that can happen.” 

“But I turned to you instead of locking myself in that dark room and while I knew that you weren’t doing well either, I also knew that you needed to be aware of how I felt and that I just wanted to be in my safe place.” Christen continues her explanation and Tobin understands exactly what she means. “So I never doubted that we would make it, because it’s you and me, of course we’ll always make it out on the other end together, but it’s still scary to think how easily something strong could fall apart.”

“Yeah, it is.” Tobin agrees with a slow nod. “I’ve thought that too. It’s like one of the first things you think of when you get those news - the relationships that didn’t survive something like this. It terrified me for a couple of hours and I was  _ so  _ scared, but as soon as you fell asleep in my arms, I knew that this is the exact place I’ll always be. It just reassured me that I’ll always have you in my arms, whether it’s tonight, tomorrow, in five years time, or in thirty years time.”

“For better or for worse, right?” Christen smiles, shuffling a little closer so she can reach Tobin and nudge her. 

“Yeah, for better or for worse.” Tobin gives her a sure nod. “And we’ll get there in the end. One day, it’ll all work out how it’s supposed to.”

“It will.” She agrees with a smile, knowing that Tobin is right. “Every bump in the road will have been worth it in the end.”

Tobin gets lost in thought, not making a noise until she lets out a deep sigh. 

“Where did you go?” Christen whispers softly, looking over at her wife and seeing that Tobin’s eyes are glistening. 

“Tobs.” She says her name softer than she ever has before, moving towards Tobin, until they’re sitting close enough to be touching. She opens her arm, pulling the older woman into her side. 

“There were so many plans and dreams and there was so much ahead.” She twirls her thumbs as she speaks. “Jordan was supposed to grow up in a loving home, have the best big sister, make friends, do whatever makes them happy in life, grow up to be an amazing person - it just makes no sense.”

“What did we ever do, to not deserve trying to give a child the world?” Tobin questions as she finishes talking. 

Christen closes her eyes as she kisses Tobin’s temple. “I know, I ask myself that too.” 

She lets out a deep sigh now too, looking out at the waves again and noticing that even though it still makes her heart ache, the tears aren’t running right now. She’s not sure whether that’s down to the fact she has no tears left to cry, or the fact that she’s slowly starting to heal, but she promised herself that she’d bring this up whenever she first notices that her eyes are still dry. 

“How would you feel about trying again?” Christen bites her lip as she carefully approaches the topic, being prepared to respect whatever answer Tobin might give her. 

“I think it’s definitely something I want to start talking about, but only if you’re ready.” Tobin knows that the choice isn’t fully hers, and that it’s Christen’s body, but Christen will always make sure that it’s a fifty-fifty situation. 

“I feel like I’ve had enough time to get the closure I needed. I know that I want to try again and keep growing our family with you.” She begins, then asking the question that’s lingering on her mind. “Does that make me a bad person, if I feel that I’m ready to move in that sense?”

“No, not at all.” Tobin assures her right away. “I don’t think anyone ever fully moves on from that and I know that Jordan will always be in our hearts, but we can’t keep the grief from letting us live our lives. We can keep building a family and be happy, that’s not something to feel guilty about.”

“Baby Jordan will always be in my heart.” Christen nods surely, a smile on her face. 

“Mine too.” Tobin agrees and she knows that they’ll discuss this further tonight, once everyone in the house is asleep. 

Christen sinks down on the sand, lying on her back and tugging on Tobin’s hand, encouraging her to do the same. She reaches her hand over to Tobin’s once they’re in the same position, linking her fingers through her wife’s. 

“You’ll never guess what Livvy did earlier.” Christen starts chuckling as she recalls the situation in her head. 

Tobin turns her own, meeting Christen’s eyes. “What did she do?”

“Your dad was watching her earlier, when you and Jeffrey were out surfing, whilst I was sitting on the patio with Katie. So they were in the living room, right by the patio doors, and he left for two seconds to get something from the kitchen.” She tries not to chuckle as she tells Tobin the story. 

“And Livvy did the same as she always does to you, so of course she walked away as soon as she was out of your dad’s sight.” Tobin has a good idea that she knows where this story might be going. “She made her way over to the table, deciding to hide under the chair.” 

“You should have seen his face when he got back.” Christen starts laughing as she remembers Jeff’s facial expressions at the time. “He was panicking  _ so much  _ and he kept looking towards the door, to see if one of us were about to walk in and ask where Olivia is.”

“If it weren’t for Olivia finding it hilarious when someone calls her name and clearly can’t see her, I think he would have passed out. She must have started giggling, like she always does, and then he did not leave her side after that.” She keeps laughing and Tobin starts now too, the mixture of her imagining this scene and the sound of Christen’s laughter, instantly bringing joy to her. 

That moment of them laughing again is one where it truly seems to click for them, and they both feel a sense of freedom that they haven’t felt in a long while. Not in the sense of letting go, but more in the sense of moving on and continuing with their lives. 

And Tobin’s heart bursts when Christen shows her a text message the following morning, seeing that it’s Dr Stoney replying to her wife with a date for an appointment. 

\--------

“Hey, Tobin.” Sam approaches Tobin with a smile, who greets her in return. “I’ve noticed that Olivia hasn’t been herself today, so I think she might be getting a little sick, unless she’s just tired.”

Tobin notices that Olivia hasn’t even made her way over to her yet, like she usually does. 

When Tobin’s eyes scan the room to find Olivia, she sees that Olivia has in fact noticed her mother though. She watches as her daughter stands up, slowly making her way over, but Tobin goes to meet her half way, picking her up. 

“Hi, Mama.” She quietly mumbles into Tobin’s shoulder.

Tobin lifts the back of her hand up, making contact with Olivia’s forehead. “She feels a little warm, so I’ll check her temperature when I get home.”

“Thanks, Sam.” She gives the woman a grateful smile, grabbing Olivia’s things and heading out. 

Olivia doesn’t even make an effort for Tobin to put her down, usually wiggling until she can try to walk down the corridor, before her legs get tired again. 

Tobin carries the girl all the way to the car, getting her strapped into her car seat and brushing her short hairs out of her face. 

“Hey, Livvy.” Christen turns around from the passenger seat, smiling at her daughter. 

“Mommy.” Olivia quietly mumbles again, a little more excitement in her this time. 

“All good?” Christen asks as she turns towards Tobin, watching as the older woman climbs into the car. 

“Sam mentioned that she doesn’t think Liv is very well and I agree.” Tobin hums, putting her seatbelt on. “She wasn’t really her usual self just then, and I thought that she feels a little warm, but that might just be me.”

Christen leans back to reach Olivia’s head with the back of her hand, noticing the same thing that her wife did. “Yeah, she does feel warm.”

Tobin nods at the confirmation. “I’ll measure her temperature when we get in.”

“Okay.” She smiles, reaching for Tobin’s thigh and rubbing it with her thumb, before giving it a squeeze and taking her arm back. 

Olivia doesn’t mumble random words that she can think of during their drive, unlike any other day. When Christen turns around, she’s surprised to see her daughter’s eyes closed. “She’s out.”

Tobin takes a quick glance at her wife. “She’s asleep?”

“Yup.” Christen nods as she faces the front again. 

“That’s not like her.” She responds with raised eyebrows, noticing that Sam is clearly right with her assumption. 

Christen shakes her head too. “Not at all.”

When Tobin measures Olivia’s temperature, they unsurprisingly find out that she does have one. Since the only thing Olivia seems to be able to do right now is sleep, they have her stay in their bed, where they can keep a close eye on her, hoping that she feels better again soon. 

Tobin and Christen decide that Christen should be the one to stay home with Olivia the following day, seeing as the soccer team trains that afternoon and Tobin already had everything planned out. 

“Bye, Mama! Bye, Mama!” Olivia calls out as Tobin heads towards the front door, so Christen picks her up, walking over to the window that’s facing onto the driveway. 

“Bye, Mama!” Olivia calls out as she waves out of the window, despite Tobin not being able to hear her. 

Christen lifts her hand up to wave too, smiling out of the window, as she watches Tobin do the same, before putting her car into reverse. 

Olivia’s mood changes as soon as Tobin’s car is out of their sight, the little girl pouting as her lip starts to quiver. 

“Mama!” She stretches her arms out towards the window, indicating that she wants to be in Tobin’s arms. 

“She’s gonna be back soon!” Christen tells her, knowing that it isn’t  _ that  _ soon, but soon enough. 

Olivia just starts crying though, so Christen holds her close to her chest. “Oh boy, we got ourselves a teary one today.” 

She chuckles lightly as she mumbles those words, rubbing her daughter’s back and going on a hunt to find a snack for Olivia. 

Christen just spends all day cuddling up with Olivia on the sofa, the young girl being so unwell that she sleeps most of the day anyway. She only wakes her up to feed her in between. 

Every time Olivia is awake, she starts crying, not calming down until Christen gently manages to get her back to sleep. 

She clings onto Christen with every sob, calling out for Tobin. Christen knows that this is Olivia’s way of feeling safe - by having both of her parents there, especially when she’s sick. As much as that melts Christen’s heart and as much as she wants to give Olivia exactly that, she has to learn that it’s not going to be possible.

Olivia isn’t always going to be able to have both of them around, especially once Olivia has siblings and isn’t the only one requiring their attention anymore. 

Christen says a silent prayer, hoping that Olivia will have another sibling sooner rather than later, something they should hopefully be able to find out next week. 

Olivia ends up vomiting on Christen, something that makes her cry even more. 

She gets Olivia changed and cleaned up, changing her own top too and just wiping the vomit off herself, since she doesn’t want to leave Olivia alone right now, ruining her chance of taking a quick shower. 

She only ever showers when Olivia is asleep, so she can take a monitor into the bathroom, or when Tobin is home. She won’t even risk the first one when Olivia is sick. 

Christen sits down again like before, Olivia only just closing her eyes again, when Tobin comes home. 

“She just fell asleep again.” Christen announces as she turns her head towards the front door, smiling when she sees her wife. 

They’d texted back and forth in between, Christen telling Tobin all about her little situation. 

“I smell of puke.” She wrinkles her nose as Tobin gets closer, but she just waves her wife off and gives her a soft kiss anyway. 

“I’ll be here in one second.” Tobin promises, before running up the stairs. 

She changes out of her work clothes, grabbing Olivia’s blanket and pillows, since she knows Olivia will be scared if she wakes up in a room by herself when she’s sick. 

Tobin sets up a bed for her on the sofa, gently taking the sleeping girl out of Christen’s arms and laying her down on the sofa again. 

When Christen comes back down after her shower, she immediately chuckles at the sight, taking a sneaky picture. 

Tobin is now lying on the sofa, next to Olivia, with a light arm wrapped around her. Both of their eyes are shut, mouths slightly hanging open as they sleep. 

Christen knows that Tobin is a light sleeper whenever she’s around Olivia, waking up if Olivia as much as twitches a muscle. 

She grabs a blanket of her own, curling up on the other end of the sofa and falling asleep after an exhausting day. 

When she wakes up, it’s because Tobin is standing up again, Olivia in her arms. Christen’s eyebrows furrow when she sees that Olivia doesn’t have a top on, but she notices the mark on Tobin’s shirt and realizes what must have happened. 

Christen stretches her body, standing up and going to help Tobin. 

The older woman takes Olivia upstairs, gently cleaning her with a wash cloth and soapy water, before putting Olivia in some fresh clothes again. 

Meanwhile, Christen makes it her job to clean Olivia’s blanket, pillow and clothes, throwing them in the washing machine and grabbing new ones. 

“She’s so sick.” Tobin frowns down at Olivia lying in her arms, eyes focused on the cartoons playing on the television. 

Christen reaches over to move a strand of Olivia’s hair out of her face. They both laugh when Olivia moves Christen’s arm, nudging it to the side, so she can keep watching what’s playing on the screen. 

“We haven’t put our Christmas decorations up yet.” Tobin notices as she looks around the room, remembering what date it is. 

“And the fake tree, since we’ll be away.” Christen chuckles, to which Tobin nods. “And that!” 

“We’ll do it at the weekend.” Christen suggests, resting her head down on Tobin’s shoulder. “It’s been a busy few weeks.”

“It has.” Tobin agrees, knowing they’re all exhausted. “I feel like us three need a weekend to relax and do nothing.”

“That sounds like the perfect idea.” Christen emphasises, before humming her next words. “How was work?”

She traces the veins on Tobin’s arm as she listens to her wife recalling her day, explaining every minute of it. 

“I missed you guys though.” Tobin comments at the end. “I really wanted to be home with both of you and help you look after Olivia.” 

“I know.” Christen nods, deciding to mention something from earlier. “Livvy kept asking after you.”

“She did?” Tobin wonders, looking down and seeing that her daughter is asleep again. 

“Yeah, you know how she gets.” She confirms before explaining. “She was all  _ bye Mama  _ when you were going and started crying as soon as you left. She cried for you a couple of times throughout the day too.”

“I’m sorry if that made it more stressful.” Tobin says it in a tone that makes Christen’s head snap up. 

“Baby, come on.” Christen raises her eyebrow. “For one, she’s going to get sick. And for two, her calling for you and wanting both of us is the most adorable thing ever, even if it’s not always possible.”

She smirks at Tobin. “She loves you almost as much as I love you.”

“Oh, really?” Tobin chuckles, raising an eyebrow. 

Christen nods, softly kissing Tobin’s lip.

\-------

  
  


Christmas rolls around just as quickly as Thanksgiving did and they’re back in Florida once again. 

This time round, they’re opening presents on Christmas morning. 

“Don’t tell me that  _ Mrs Christen I’m-always-organized Heath  _ forgot to buy a present?” Katie’s jaw drops as she leans back, raising her eyebrows. “Because if you did, then I’m recording a video right now, so we never forget this moment.”

“Of course I didn’t.” Christen shakes her head in response to Katie’s reaction, after realizing that the only person who didn’t give Tobin a present was Christen. “I’ve got one, I just don’t know if I can give it in front of everyone else.” 

James and Jeffrey both wiggle their eyebrows in Christen’s direction, at the same time. 

“Ew, gross.” She pulls a face, realizing what her sentence might have sounded like. “Get your minds out of the gutter.”

“Then why can’t you give it in front of everyone else?” Sarah joins in on the teasing, winking so Christen knows that she’s kidding. 

She tries to get rid of her blush as she looks down for a short moment. 

“It’s just-” Christen shrugs. “I mean, I can if Tobin is okay with it.” 

Katie looks over at Tobin, who just shrugs, not having any idea what the present is anyway. 

Christen reaches forwards from where they’re sitting on the floor, resting against the sofa. She grabs a small, neatly wrapped present. 

Tobin opens it, as Christen wonders what her wife’s reaction will be, just hoping that she’ll like it as much as Christen did. 

She opens the small jewellery box when she gets to that point, noticing the ring inside of it. 

It’s just a simple gold band, almost similar to Tobin’s wedding one, if it weren’t missing the roman numerals of their wedding date. 

Instead, it has a few small stones on it, which Tobin will later find out are the color of the birthstone for Jordan’s due date. 

There’s a small note inside of the box, which reads  _ look on the inside of the ring.  _

Tobin does so, spotting that it says  _ Jordan Heath  _ where the note instructed her to look. 

Surprisingly, Tobin hasn’t noticed that Christen isn’t  _ just  _ wearing her engagement and wedding ring like she usually does, instead also having a ring on the middle finger of her right hand. But then again, Christen does have a love for rings and she only put it on this morning, which is the first time she’s worn it. 

Christen didn’t want to ruin the surprise, since it’s the exact same one. 

The tears start without Tobin meaning for them to, simply rolling down her cheek before she even registers that her eyes are teary. 

It’s such an unexpected present, that it caught her off guard. 

She closes the box, resting it to the side, as she covers her face with her hands. Tobin drops her head back onto the sofa, taking a deep breath, before picking it up again. 

“I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Christen chuckles softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and kissing her temple. 

“I love you.” Christen whispers for only her wife to hear. “It’s okay, baby.” 

“I’m gonna go and give myself a minute.” Tobin announces as she stands up, squeezing Christen’s thigh, before walking out and into another room. 

She makes her way through the hallway, opening the door to the kitchen and leaning against the counter. 

Back in the living room, Cindy gives Christen a cautious look, silently questioning if Tobin is okay. When Christen gives her a nod, accompanied with a small smile, Cindy appears to be satisfied with the answer. 

Meanwhile, Perry is itching to go and check on Tobin, but she knows that Christen knows best. Christen knows what’s wrong with Tobin and Christen knows what Tobin needs, so if the woman is just leaving her alone for the moment, then Perry knows that’s what's best for Tobin right now. 

“Livvy, why don’t you go and find Mama?” Christen suggests to her daughter once everyone else has moved on with a present for Cindy. 

Christen knows that Tobin will have calmed herself down by now, so Olivia walks out of this door and into the open one for the next room. 

“Mama!” Olivia smiles when she spots Tobin, stretching her arms out. 

“Hey, cutie.” Tobin smiles, crouching down and waiting for her daughter to crash into her. 

“Mama?” Olivia voices and Tobin knows what she’s trying to say. 

Olivia’s got about twenty words down by now, even though  _ wuv yu  _ is still her favorite, despite not having any idea when or how to use it. It makes her mother’s smile every time though, so she tends to remember the phrase all over again, every time her Mommy or Mama say it, rambling it until she forgets about it again. 

_ Sad  _ was one of the more recent ones, which she picked up when Olivia was crying and Tobin was having a one sided conversation with her, trying to figure out what was wrong with Olivia. 

Since then, Olivia will say the word whenever she remembers it, despite not quite knowing what it means. So Tobin figures that’s the word Olivia is getting stuck on right now, instead babbling some more before quieting down again. 

Tobin slowly nods. “I’m a little sad, but it’s okay.”

Olivia drops her head onto Tobin’s shoulder when she feels Tobin wrap her arms around her small body. Tobin smiles to herself at the feeling. 

Olivia is so caring already and her hugs remind Tobin of Christen’s. It’s strange, because their hugs are so different, but having Olivia’s arms around her brings the same feeling of home and calmness as Christen’s. 

Tobin just holds her daughter close, until the girl starts wiggling to move away and out of her mother's hold again. 

She wipes her own tears from earlier, kissing Olivia’s cheek. “You’re an amazing little girl.”

“I love you.” Tobin takes a deep breath in, not being able to help her smile when she hears Olivia’s words. “Wuv yu!” 

Her daughter clearly got excited when she, once again, heard a phrase that she can repeat. 

She stands up again, taking Olivia’s hand and making her way back into the living room. 

They eventually get a short moment to themselves when everyone goes to put their presents away, making sure they won’t confuse them or lose them. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry on Christmas.” Christen gives her a soft smile. 

“You didn’t, it just means so much.” Tobin tells her when she realizes Christen thought she upset Tobin. 

Christen shows Tobin her matching one, when Tobin gets the ring out of the box and slides it onto her own finger. 

She gives Tobin a soft kiss, resting their foreheads together. 

“Thank you.” Tobin whispers, before looking around and making sure that they really are alone. 

She leans down, kissing Christen’s belly and whispering against it too. “I love you.” 

“I hope this pregnancy is gonna go well.” Tobin mentions as she stands back up. 

“It will.” Christen tells her with a new sense of certainty in her tone. “I have a good feeling about it, baby.”

\-------

While they’re both super happy that Christen is pregnant for the third time, there’s something Christen has noticed recently. 

One of those moments is now, when she’s standing in the door frame with Olivia on her hip and a bottle of milk for the girl in her other hand. 

She’d stalled when she saw Tobin, smiling sadly as she realizes that Tobin is praying, something that Tobin’s been doing on a daily basis, ever since they found out Christen is pregnant again. 

It’s not that Christen is unfamiliar with Tobin being religious or praying, of course she’s not, but she’s noticed the consistency of it and that it happens every night. 

She can read Tobin well enough to know exactly why she’s praying and what she’s praying for. 

They’ve been so lucky with how well IVF has worked for them so far, something they can’t quite believe, but that still doesn’t take the sting or worry away for Tobin. 

They eventually lie down, all cuddling into each other, as Tobin and Olivia both fall asleep. 

Now that Tobin’s breath has evened out and she’s drifted into deep sleep, Christen realizes that this is her wife’s first proper sleep in a long time. Christen can’t imagine how exhausted she must be, especially since they stayed up way later than they usually would, on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. 

She’s so worried about her wife and can see the dark rings starting to form under her eyes. 

Christen picks Olivia up, gently kissing her head and laying her down in the small travel crib that Cindy and Jeff put in their bedroom for them. 

She realizes how awake she is in that moment, so she pulls on the sweatpants and hoodie that Tobin had chucked to the side after wearing them earlier, quietly walking down the stairs and over to the patio door. She unlocks it, sliding it open and quietly closing it again. 

Christen walks over to the steps that lead down to the beach, sitting on the top one and listening to the waves crash. 

She runs her hands through her hair, mind racing as she lets out a sigh and looks up at the stars for a short moment. 

“I’m so sorry, Jord. I’m sorry that I couldn’t give you everything you needed.” She whispers as she closes her eyes. 

Christen never spent too much time thinking about these things, but she’s always believed that there’s something after life - or in this case, before. She likes the idea of having her own star, looking up and finding the one that stands out the most. 

“I know you’re our guardian angel now, protecting us and keeping us safe, so please look after this baby for me. I don’t think Tobin can take another loss and I can’t either, it hurts so bad.” 

“And please look after Livvy and Tobin for me. I love them so much, more than words, and I can’t ever live without them.”

“We would have loved you so much too - we already did and will forever love you.” 

She plays with her ring, twisting it on her finger and not even noticing that the glass door behind her slides open. Christen hadn’t realized that Katie and Cindy are still awake, thinking that everyone already went to bed. 

She doesn’t realize until they sit down next to her, one on each side. 

“Chris.” Katie sighs softly as she turns her head. “Are you okay?” 

She hadn’t expected to get emotional, but the soft and concerned look Katie is giving her really doesn’t help. 

Cindy pulls Christen into her side, wrapping an arm around her and not letting go. 

“What’s wrong?” Katie tilts her head, her voice even softer this time. 

“I had a miscarriage, a little while ago now.” She starts, watching as Cindy and Katie’s eyes go wide. “And now I’m pregnant again and I’m so scared to lose this baby and-”

Once Christen starts, the words just seem to flow out of her. 

“Tobin can’t sleep, she never does, because she just lies there and watches me as if that’s going to stop it from happening. She’s exhausted, so tired, but she still won’t sleep.” Christen starts rambling. “And she prays every single night and I’m just so worried about her, but I feel so helpless.”

“I know the baby was unborn and not fully grown yet, but we had to see and bury our own child and that hurt more than anything I’ve ever experienced.” She continues and then she tells them everything, going on and on as they listen. 

“I know you can’t see it in the dark, but I got Tobin this same ring for Christmas.” She explains as she pulls it off her finger. “Right in the middle of my miscarriage, Tobin decided that we should name our baby. We ended up calling them Jordan, so we’d have a gender neutral name. The inside of the ring has Jordan Heath written on it and the little stones are the color from the birthstone of Jordan’s due date.”

“Do you think that it would be good for you to talk about this with someone who didn’t go through it?” Katie wonders after a while and Christen knows what she’s suggesting. “I know that one of my friends went for a while after having a miscarriage and she found it very useful.”

“We both went to therapy. Well, I stopped going a couple of weeks ago, but Tobin still goes. It’s just for an hour per week, but Tobin hasn’t mentioned whether she wants to keep it up and I’m not her, so I can’t decide this for Tobin, but I don’t think she’s ready to stop going yet.” Christen explains, knowing that it helped her a lot when coming to terms with everything and accepting that no matter what she does, she’ll never be able to change the fact that Jordan is gone. 

“Honestly though, talking to Tobin helped me so much. I trust her with my life and her going through it too, means that she knows how I feel and what I went through.” Christen shrugs, thinking about the fact that they both saw Jordan together. “We just understand each other and know what the other needs.”

Katie nods along, whilst Cindy’s tears are still going. 

“But seeing Jordan just hurt so bad and is something that I can’t get out of my head. It breaks my heart, because I loved this baby so much. I know it’s just an unborn child and that people have it worse, but-” She continues, before Katie cuts her off. 

“Hey, no it’s not.” She sternly shakes her head. “Don’t ever let someone tell you that. Jordan  _ is  _ your child, whether they were born or not doesn’t change that. A mother isn’t a mother because she gave birth, a mother is a mother because of what she feels in her heart and the way she loves her child.” 

“Katie is right.” Cindy agrees with a nod. “And pain isn’t a competition. You’re still allowed to hurt, no matter how bad others have it. Just because others hurt for different reasons, doesn’t mean that this can’t be the most painful thing you’ve ever experienced.” 

Christen nods now too, understanding what they’re saying. She leans her head a little further into Cindy, from where the woman is still holding her close, with an arm around Christen’s shoulder.

“Just seeing that our baby already had arms and legs, just in tiny, made it so hard because it was a huge reminder of everything that could have been.” She whispers, but it’s so quiet outside that they both hear it. 

“You said that you buried Jordan?” Katie wonders softly. 

“Yeah, we did. They gave me the option of staying in the hospital, but I just wanted to go home.” She takes a deep breath. 

Katie tilts her head at Christen, just continuing to ask small questions and respecting whatever answer Christen could give her. “How did you feel after that?” 

“Terrible and better.” She shrugs, unsure of her own emotions. “The actual news and the miscarriage itself were so tough, but I think the other worst part for me was that my body just wouldn’t stop bleeding and it was a constant reminder that I didn’t need. I just wanted to start distracting my mind from it and that made me fail every single time.”

“My friend experienced  _ a lot  _ of bleeding too and she was in so much physical pain.” Katie nods sadly, wanting Christen to know that she isn’t alone. “Did you bury Jordan at home?”

She shakes her head. “We didn’t want to do it at home, because I don’t think we could have ever let go of the house, if we decide to move somewhere else in the future. We went somewhere near this trail we love to walk instead, so we can always come back, no matter how many years it’s been.” 

“I can imagine that must have been difficult.” She comments as she tucks her knees up a little higher. 

“It wasn’t easy, but it felt quite freeing and something we needed to do. That was the first time Tobin let herself cry about it, since the night at the hospital.” Christen gives a sad smile as she remembers the moment. “But seeing that tiny body just shattered my heart. Just knowing that you can’t do anything, but still wanting to help make your baby breathe and grow is hard.” 

All three of them are crying now, as Katie remembers the pain her friend went through, and now sees the pain Christen is going through. She can’t imagine ever being in that position, knowing how much love she’s has for her children, right from the start of her pregnancies. 

Tobin must have woken up at some point and noticed that Christen isn’t there, since she ends up making her way over to the steps too. 

“I woke up and saw that you weren’t there, so I thought I’d come and look for you.” Tobin explains as she sits down behind Christen, not being able to fit on the steps too. 

Christen leans back, moving into Tobin’s hold. 

Tobin looks up at her mother, seeing the tears on her cheeks. “Hey, what’s wrong, Mom?”

Cindy shakes her head, sniffing and wiping her eyes. “Tob, I’m so so sorry.” 

Christen twists the ring on Tobin’s finger, making it click for the older woman as she gives her mother a sad smile. 

“Are you better now?” Katie asks, a hopeful look in her eyes. 

Christen nods right away. “I’m feeling more like myself again everyday and I’m definitely feeling better, otherwise I wouldn’t have tried for another pregnancy already.” 

“How are you, Tobin?” She turns to her younger sister. 

“I’m getting better too.” Tobin honestly admits to her. “Some days are easier, some are worse, but overall I’m doing so much better than I was. I didn’t really let myself grieve at first and then I didn’t understand my feelings, but Christen helped me a lot with that and I learned to be more patient with myself when it comes to my emotions.” 

They stay out and talk for a little longer, slowly moving away from the heavier topics and focusing on happier ones. 

“What were you doing out here?” Tobin asks her wife after Katie and Cindy leave to go to bed. 

“I just needed some time to think.” Christen shrugs and she already knows what’s coming. 

She rests her chin on Christen’s shoulder, mumbling the words. “Think about what?” 

“I’m worried about you, baby.” Christen tells her, turning to face Tobin and look at her wife. “I know you’re nervous about this pregnancy, I am too, but Tobin, you barely get any sleep.”

“Whatever happens, is going to happen. We can’t change that, so please don’t do this to yourself.” She looks at Tobin with pleading eyes. “It hurts me so much to see you like this and you need to sleep to look after yourself. I’m scared that you’re going to make yourself sick.” 

“You can’t keep staying awake all night long.” Christen tells her how it is, making her concerns known. 

“I’m sorry.” She whispers, giving Christen a sad smile. “I promise I’ll try and work in it.” 

“I want to help you, if you’ll let me, but you need sleep and you need it badly.” She squeezes Tobin’s knee. “And I know that you’re tired, it’s written all over your face, but you’re forcing yourself to stay awake.”

They talk about it for a few more minutes, Tobin promising that she’ll make sure she starts sleeping more again. When Christen is satisfied with the answer, she turns around again, her back resting against Tobin’s front as she looks up again. 

“The brightest one is Jordan.” She whispers as they both look at the stars, enjoying this peaceful moment between them and the nature surrounding them. 

Tobin smiles to herself, kissing the skin behind Christen’s ear and whispering in such a quiet voice, that Christen questions whether she was supposed to hear her. “The best thing God ever did was lead me to you.”

Christen might not be religious, but she knows how important Tobin’s faith and religion is to her, so that comment means the world to Christen. 

She turns her head, leaning in for a kiss, before deciding that they should definitely head back to bed now too. 

Cindy is the only one who doesn’t sleep well that night, wishing that she could spend days yelling at Cody and Stacy for not being here for their daughter right now. She doesn’t do that though, she doesn’t ask Fran for their contact number, as much as she wants to. 

Instead, she promises herself that she’ll do anything to make Christen feel even more loved, if that’s even possible. 

\-------

Christen’s birthday starts better than she could have ever wished for, because it starts with the only thing Christen wants this year. 

She doesn’t think this day can get any better - not when she wakes up and has her two favorite people in her arms five minutes later. 

But then Perry knocks on their door, sticking her head in to announce that they need to get downstairs. 

“My birthday breakfast?” Christen asks with furrowed eyebrows when that’s what Perry chooses to call it. 

“Yeah, we’re going full-out for your birthday this year.” She winks, going to walk out. 

“But-” She blinks, going to say anything, but no words come to mind. 

“No buts, Chris.” Perry announces as she starts closing the door again. “Get out of bed.”

Christen looks at Tobin with wide eyes, as if to say  _ do something  _ to stop them from making the whole day about Christen. 

It’s a facial expression Tobin sees every year on Christen’s birthday, never agreeing with it, considering Christen always goes above and beyond for Tobin’s birthdays. 

She gets the full deal - a massive buffet breakfast, birthday banners, birthday balloons, Katie complaining that James doesn’t do enough to spoil her on her own birthday, a cake and so much love from her family. 

Kayden repeats himself a million times, telling Christen over and over again that she needs to make a wish, as she’s blowing out her candles. 

_ I wish that I never have to go another day without seeing Tobin’s smile.  _

She gets spoilt with a tiny gift from each of them, loving everything she gets, just like she always does. 

They all play board games together - Christen’s favorite - and she thinks this might be the most perfect birthday ever. 

That gets confirmed when Tobin comes along with her surprise, informing Christen that Cindy and Jeff are watching Olivia for tonight, because the two of them are going out on a date. 

That’s when Christen realizes it’s been way too long since they last had a date night. 

They’ve made it an unspoken rule to make time for at least one official date night per month, going out together while Kelley or Channing watch Olivia. 

But everything has been so different over the past couple of months, that they spent all of their free time together as a family instead. Not that she doesn’t love that, but suddenly, Christen can’t wait for Tobin to take her out. 

Of course Tobin thought of that beforehand, so she takes Christen out to a really nice restaurant that Cindy recommended to her. 

It’s a restaurant with a romantic setting, your typical candlelit dinner, but it’s nice. It’s nicer than both of them expected and as soon as they step foot inside of it, they know that they’ll be back at some point. 

They order their drinks, eyes scanning through the menu and making their decisions, before ordering their food too. 

Christen reaches her hand across the table once the waiter is gone, asking for Tobin’s hand. 

“Thank you for bringing me here.” She smiles as she squeezes Tobin’s hand. “I’m so happy to spend some time with you.” 

“Me too, it’s been way too long since we’ve been on an actual date.” Tobin returns the smile. “I hope the food is going to taste okay. My mom sent me a list of a few restaurants in the area a while ago, and this one reminded me a little of the one we went to in France, so I thought we could try it out.”

“That was the night you proposed!” Christen recalls, her facial expressions changing in awe. “That will forever be one of the best days of my life.” 

“I was  _ so  _ nervous, you have no idea.” Tobin starts laughing, recalling the many times she thought she might puke from just how nervous she was. “I just wanted you to enjoy the night and I needed it to go right so badly.”

“It was the perfect night, baby. I loved every second of it.” She assures her, even though Tobin has known that for a long time now. 

“You should have heard me the days before.” She chuckles again at her own thoughts. “I just kept thinking to myself that I mess up even the tiniest bit of the night, you’d say no.”

“As if that would have ever happened.” Christen chuckles now too. “You could have proposed to me with a Haribo ring in a grocery store and I still would have said yes, as long as it’s you.” 

“You would have made me propose again with a proper ring though.” Tobin points out, knowing that her wife doesn’t care about the money, but is all about the thought, special moments and sappy speeches when it comes to things like these. 

“Oh, for sure!” Christen laughs, being aware that Tobin is right. “You know that I’m a sucker for romance.”

“You are? I never knew that.” Tobin teases with a wink. “And there was me, all this time, thinking that you weren’t trying to hint something at me, when you try to make me watch the fiftieth romantic movie.”

“I am not trying to hint anything!” Her jaw drops as she defends herself. “Don’t even go there.” 

“I’m kidding.” She laughs at Christen’s reaction, knowing that Christen only makes her watch romantic movies because the younger woman genuinely likes them. “Happy birthday, babe.” 

Christen gives her a soft smile, kissing Tobin’s hand. 

“Gosh, I can’t wait for this year to be over.” Christen comments after a long moment. 

Tobin chuckles, knowing exactly what Christen means. “Me too!” 

“The best things about it have definitely been having you and Liv by my side! I don’t think I could have made it through this year without you two.” Tobin announces when she puts her glass down again after taking a sip of her drink. 

Christen nods in agreement. “Having my loves by my side makes everything better.” 

“Your three loves.” Tobin winks, eyes moving down to Christen’s belly, before looking back up again. 

“I bet you can’t wait for your morning sickness to start.” She chuckles, knowing that it won’t be long now. 

Christen starts laughing with a groan, rolling her eyes. “There’s nothing better than morning sickness.” 

They eat their meals, which are just as good as Cindy said they would be. Tobin doesn’t let Christen order any dessert though, much to the woman’s disapproval. 

“I have an idea.” She simply announces, dragging Christen out of the restaurant after paying. 

“Are you going to tell me what that idea is?” Christen questions, not having a clue what they’re doing. 

“We’re getting dessert from that dessert place down the road.” Tobin begins as she tries to figure out whether they need to turn left or right.

They find it eventually, ordering some strawberries with chocolate sauce to take away, before Christen insists on them getting some waffles too, considering she’s eating for two people. 

That’s the excuse she uses anyway, and it always works. 

They grab their desserts, going back to Cindy’s car and driving it towards the direction of Tobin’s parents’ house. She pulls over way earlier though, making Christen get out too. 

“I don’t know if we’ve ever been here together.” Tobin suddenly realizes as she grabs their desserts, opening the trunk and taking a blanket out of it, which she carries with her. “This is like the end of the beach from my mom and dad’s house. It’s away from all of the houses so it’s nice and peaceful...and away from the prying eyes of our family.”

“Oh my God, Tobin!” Christen’s jaw drops when she comes to the realization, bursting out laughing. “You did not just take me here so we can have sex.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Tobin avoids eye contact, furrowing her eyebrows. 

“Yes, you do.” Christen laughs even harder, pointing at Tobin as if to catch her out. 

She holds her hands up. “I didn’t.” 

“You’re such a bad liar.” Being able to tell when Tobin is lying might be easier than flipping a coin. “I can see it in your eyes.” 

“I mean...now that you’ve suggested it.” She smirks in Christen’s direction. “Would you be opposed to it?” 

“I knew it!” Christen can’t help but shake her head through her laughter. 

“That’s what happens when we have to share a room with our daughter.” Tobin defends, trying to give Christen an innocent look. “It’s a private beach anyway and we’re in the dark, away from all of the houses, so it’s not like anyone is going to be here.” 

“You want to hope not.” Christen folds her arms, making it clear that Tobin will never hear the end of it if anyone does catch them. “I’m eating my waffle and strawberries first though.” 

“Well, come on then.” Tobin jogs a few steps, making Christen catch up. 

She gives Tobin a stern look as she sits down. “And I am not getting fully undressed in a kind-of-public place.” 

“No one said you had to, we can make it work.” Tobin picks a strawberry out of the box, already munching on it. “There are some towels in the car though, so we could always go skinny dipping too.” 

Tobin is only joking about the skinny dipping, of course. 

Well, she would be, but there really are some towels in the car, even if she’s just trying to tease her wife, because she knows that Christen won’t agree to it seeing as the water won’t be very warm, now that the sun is gone. 

As Christen sits there, talking to and laughing with her favorite person, she realizes that even though this year didn’t turn out the way she expected it to, she still has the two most important people in her life right by her side, and their very own guardian angel looking after them, so she must be doing something right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‼️ miscarriage / grief ‼️
> 
> Lots of tears, lots of emotions. Thoughts? Feelings? 
> 
> Once again, for the sake of moving this story along and not repeating scenes, certain processes are going to be a lot faster and easier than they would be in real life (and please keep in mind that I'm definitely not a doctor, so there's a lot of google research thrown in here). As always, there are bound to be mistakes somewhere in this, so apologies for those. Also two chapters in two weeks? I feel like a brand new person 😂
> 
> I also came across this quote the other day, on Instagram, and it's totally something Christen would have sent Tobin a screenshot of, at some point during this chapter : "To be honest with you, I don't have the words to make you feel better, but I do have the arms to give you a hug, ears to listen to whatever you want to talk about, and I have a heart; a heart that's aching to see you smile again."


End file.
